Original characters, world and backstory belong to Squaresoft, lucky folks.
Edited for the more graphic smut, including slash: if you're legal and you like smutty bits see www.scribblemoose.co.uk for the full version.
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Chapter 12 - Escape
Irvine lingered over breakfast, drinking coffee and sneaking scraps under the table to Angelo. Dogs weren't allowed in the cafeteria, of course, but somehow the staff hadn't seen fit to mention it to him yet. Whether it was his charm or Angelo's that had made them turn a blind eye he couldn't be sure.
"Angelo, my friend, we could make quite a team," he whispered under the table, tickling him behind the ears.
Angelo started to thump his tail on the floor, eyes fixed on the door. Irvine looked up to see Squall and Rinoa come in, not quite holding hands.
"Good morning," said Rinoa, cheerfully. Squall nodded.
"Hey," said Irvine. He gave them a long look, taking in the slightly rumpled hair, shadowed eyes and the silly grins on their faces.
"You guys haven't had any sleep at all, have you?"
Rinoa shook her head.
"No. Uhuh. Not as such," admitted Squall.
Irvine laughed.
Squall looked somewhat sheepish and turned to Rinoa. "What d'you want?" he asked. "I'll get it for you and you can teach the cowboy some manners."
"Ooh, eggs," she said, "and toast. Lots of toast. I'm starving."
Irvine started sniggering all over again, ignoring the exasperated look Squall flashed at him.
"So," he said to Rinoa once Squall had gone to fetch breakfast. "Good, huh?"
"Just gets better and better," she beamed at him.
"You're getting smug, Rinoa Heartilly."
"Oh yeah. You bet. I've waited a long time for this, and I'm going to enjoy every fucking minute."
"I'm glad to hear it. Thanks for the loan of Angelo, by the way. We've been getting on very well."
"Um… that's good", Rinoa traced a pattern in spilt salt on the table, and looked at him from under fluttering eyelashes, "'cos I was wondering…"
"You want me to look after him while you're away on this mission."
"Yeah. Only he hates the kennels. And he can't come with me on a surveillance mission."
"No problem. Like I say, we hit it off."
"Oh Irvine, did I mention you're my second favourite man in the whole world?"
"Thanks. I think."
"You're sure it won't cramp your style, having Angelo around?" she teased.
"Nah. Actually some women like a man with a dog, you know. Shows off our sensitive side and all that."
Rinoa looked sceptical. "I don't think you need to rely on props, Irvine. I'm sure they love you just the way you are."
Irvine shrugged.
"Irvine… are you OK? I mean, generally?"
"As ever, Rin. Fully recovered and ready for the next adventure. You know me."
"Yes," said Rinoa, a serious edge to her voice. "I do." Her deep brown eyes looked into his, seeing more than he ever wanted to show her.
"You take care of Seffie for me," he said. "Make sure she comes back to me in one piece?"
"Of course. But… you and Selphie… it's not going to happen, is it, Irvine? Really?"
He paused for a long moment before he answered her. It would be easy to shrug it off, make a joke of it like he always did. But he couldn't lie to Rinoa. Not anymore. At least… not about Selphie.
"No." Then he panicked at the sympathy in her eyes. "Only don't tell anyone, or my reputation will be shot."
"Irvine!"
"Sorry. Oh, fuck, sorry, Rin. I've kept it all… locked up for so long. But look, I still love her. Always will. I meant what I said - look after her, alright?"
"I promise."
"It's hard to talk about. Fuck, I can't believe I've come over all Leonhart about this."
"All me about what?" asked Squall, depositing a tray full of eggs and toast on the table.
"Oh, nothing," said Irvine, suddenly very uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of all this friendly concern. And anyway, for once Selphie wasn't the biggest of his problems.
"Oooh, toast," said Rinoa, "did I mention how hungry I was?"
"I'd best be going," said Irvine, getting to his feet. "There's something I need to do."
"Okay." Rinoa gave him a searching look. "Come see me off?" she asked, "I'll hand Angelo over to you then?"
"Sure. Front gate?"
She nodded.
"After that I want to take a walk down to the beach," said Squall, "with you and Zell. See if we can get any clues as to what happened yesterday. I need to find a way to help Risha without using Ether again."
"I'll be there," said Irvine, with feeling. "Anything so I don't have to go through that… well, you know." He shuddered. "I'll see you lovebirds later."
And with a tip of his hat to Rinoa and a wink to Squall that belied his sinking heart, Irvine left them to their breakfast.
* * * * * * *
Irvine pressed the buzzer on dorm 317, just under the little sign that said Frila Alfyrd and Kellon Findel. He was actually regretting not bringing Angelo with him: he could've done with a bit of reassurance and unconditional affection just now.
The door opened, and Frila stood there, her loose hair glowing in the morning sunshine. She was wearing black jeans and a T-shirt bearing the slogan 'Gunbladers do it in leather'.
She greeted him with a huge smile that broke his heart.
"Irvine! Hi! Come in."
"Hi Frila," he stepped inside, the door closing behind him. "I can't stop long. I just thought we should talk. Is your room-mate around?"
"Oh." Her smile faded at his serious tone. "No, she's gone to training."
"OK. Look, about the other night…"
"Oh, fuck. Is it going to be one of those talks? Only, like I said the other night, I know your reputation. I don't expect anything."
The matter-of-fact way she said that sent a chill down his spine. Mr Love 'em and Leave 'em strikes again. Do people really think I'm such a bastard?
"It's not like that. Well, yes, it mustn't happen again, but not because…" he took a deep breath. "Frila, why didn't you tell me you're still a cadet?"
"Ah. Well, technically, I'm not, anymore."
"You told me you'd graduated."
"Well actually, no, I didn't." Her voice had an edge of temper to it. "You just assumed I had."
He considered this possibility for a moment. She was probably right. Fuck. What was I thinking?
"You didn't put me right, though, did you?"
"I don't see as it matters. You're not an instructor or anything."
Irvine sighed. "You must know the regulations, Hotshot. I'm a SeeD. That's enough. And anyway, how old are you?"
"Sixteen."
He looked her in the eyes.
"Next month," she added. "Or the month after. June. The 21st."
"You know we could both be in serious trouble over this, don't you?"
She shrugged. "You, maybe. Though unlikely, with your contacts. And I'm outta here this afternoon. Dropped out. Not a cadet anymore. So it doesn't matter, does it?"
She crossed to her desk, where he noticed her gunblade case was laid open, empty. He suddenly realised she'd been packing: the bed was covered in untidy piles of clothes, books and various bits of paraphernalia, next to a half-full chest.
She retrieved her gunblade from under the bed, started wiping it down with a cloth.
"I was going to leave this with you," she said. "I thought you might give it to someone who deserved it, someday."
"You're really leaving?"
She nodded. "I don't think I'll ever be any good. I just can't… I don't have a reason. So I'm taking Commander Leonhart's advice. I'm going back to work in the Junk shop for a while, maybe take over from my father one day."
"I'm sorry," said Irvine. "We need good gunblades."
"Ah, well," she said with a wry smile, "that's OK. Because I'm not a good one. So no loss, eh?"
"You shouldn't put yourself down, you know. I'm sure you're not that bad."
"Now you're sounding patronising," she said. "I think I liked you better when you thought I was one of you."
"Sorry, I didn't mean…"
"We could see each other, if you like." She gently lifted the gunblade into its case. "After all I won't be a cadet. So no worries, eh?"
"You're still under age," said Irvine, knowing it wasn't the right thing to say, but unable to think of anything better. "And if anyone found out about the other night…"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Frila slammed the case shut, "I'm not going to tell anybody. So unless you get a sudden attack of wanting to end your own career, there's not a problem, is there?"
"But I shouldn't have…"
"Look," she flashed angry green eyes on him, "why don't you just go? There's no point. I'm leaving. You needn't ever worry about me again. Go back to your heroic life, save the world a few more times, just remember to ask for a birth certificate before you fuck your next whore, if you're so worried. And leave me alone!"
"Hotshot…"
"No. Don't fucking Hotshot me. Do you know, Irvine Kinneas, I actually thought I saw something nice in you? I thought they were all wrong about you, that you're not just a slut, I thought you were decent and funny and cared. Well, that shows you what a dumbass I am. I can't use a fucking gunblade and it looks as if I can't pick a good man, either."
"I'm sorry." Irvine struggled to keep his own temper; this wasn't going at all how he'd planned. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Oh, spare me. You should've thought of that before."
"Just a fucking minute, Hotshot," Irvine felt his anger slipping out of control, "You came to me, remember? You practically begged me for it!"
"Yes, of course I did. Do you know why? Did it even occur to you why I gave you my number? Why I came to your room? Because I knew I was leaving, and I wanted to go out with a bang! Literally! I thought if I only got one thing out of Balamb fucking Garden, it would be to lose my cherry to Irvine Kinneas. That would give me something to tell my fucking grandchildren about, instead of how I failed to learn the gunblade!"
He was stunned and appalled all at once.
"But if I'd known how young you were I would never…"
"Oh really?" Her eyes challenged him. "You don't think I could've persuaded you? You wanted it just as much as me. Maybe even more."
She's probably right. I would have. And Ether…
"Frila, I just wanted… I'm so sorry."
"Really? OK, apology accepted. Just fuck off out of here. This is a bad day for me. I'm giving up on my dream, OK? I'd like to do it in peace."
She crossed to the door and opened it.
"Frila…"
"No. Just goodbye."
He took a last look at her, saw the tears she was holding in until she was alone. He wanted so much to take her in his arms and comfort her, hold her…
He left without another word.
* * * * * * *
Selphie sat on the edge of her bed, watching Xu sleep. She considered waking her to say goodbye, but it had been late by the time they'd got to sleep, and she looked so tired…
Poor sweetheart. All this and worrying about me, too. And Risha…
Selphie carefully brushed back a strand of hair from her lover's face, stroked her soft cheek.
"I love you, sweetheart," she whispered, and planted a soft kiss in Xu's dark hair, "I'll be back. Promise."
Xu murmured contentedly in her sleep, snuggling into her pillow.
Selphie picked up her kit bag and tiptoed from the room.
* * * * * * *
Frila washed her face in cold water to try and get rid of some of the blotchiness from crying. She hated crying; it made her feel weak and stupid, powerless. She hated him for making her cry. And she hated herself for letting him.
She checked her watch: just half an hour and Kellon would be back. Full of concern and questions, trying to persuade her to stay. Frila looked at the pile of stuff on her bed, still waiting to be packed.
She considered taking her gunblade out again, one last look, one last polish. Maybe even go to the training centre and…
No. Too late now.
Besides, Xian would be holding a class there, and she was really mad at her. She hated quitters.
Where did I go wrong?
She'd loved being at Garden when she first arrived; it was all she ever wanted, adventure, challenge and excitement. But after a while the reality set in: rules, discipline, endless practice. The harder she worked, the more pointless it seemed. Somewhere along the line she'd lost her passion, her dream.
Although for a moment, when she thought he really liked her, she'd started to feel it again…
No. It was just an illusion. He hadn't really cared. She was just a silly little girl as far as he was concerned. A risk he hadn't wanted to take.
Am I the only person round here who doesn't mind taking risks?
She didn't want to face Kellon, or Xian, or her packing. She certainly didn't want to face Irvine again if he came back.
Without really thinking where she was going, she pulled on her boots and stormed out, looking for escape.
* * * * * * *
Quistis tutted happily, squashing bags and equipment into the car.
"Where's Rinoa?" she grumbled. "I hope she's not going to be late."
"She's coming now," said Selphie, straightening out kinks in her nunchaka. "With Squall."
"Oh. Good. I hope she's not planning on bringing much with her."
"Irvine's with her, too. And Zell."
"Good gods, what is this, a send-off committee?"
"Well, it is a bit weird," said Selphie. "I can't remember the last time only half of us went on a mission."
Maybe, thought Quistis, the rest of you have been on exactly eight missions without me so far this year. And I bet that didn't feel weird to you. She shook her head to force the negative thoughts from her mind. She was going this time. That's what mattered.
"Hey, 'Elf." Selphie hugged Irvine, even harder than usual, and was surprised by the strength with which he hugged her back. She looked up at him, worried.
"OK Irvy?"
He nodded. "Never better. Except, obviously, I don't know how I'm going to survive without you for the next four days. You realise I'll be completely inconsolable?"
"Of course," said Selphie cheerfully. "Until some bright young thing comes along and distracts you."
To her surprise, he didn't respond to her teasing with his usual tolerant grin. He turned away suddenly, helping Rinoa put her bag in the car.
"You realise you're going to miss my birthday?" said Zell. "I don't know what Squall was thinking of, sending all the girls away when we had a perfectly good excuse to party."
"There is the small matter of neutralising a significant military threat," chided Squall. "I don't spoil people's fun for the hell of it, you know."
"Lighten up, Commander," Rinoa squeezed Squall's hand, "Zell's just teasing. We can party when we get back. And I promise we'll think of you, Instructor Dincht. Lots."
"Time we were off," Quistis slammed the trunk of the car closed at last. "Come on, team. Let's go kick butt." She caught Squall's look. "Metaphorically of course. And extremely stealthily."
"Take care," said Zell. "Rinoa, remember to watch your back. And if an opponent comes up on your left when you're off balance…"
"Zell," Rinoa put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll be fine. You just have a good birthday, 'kay? And make sure Irvine takes proper care of Angelo. I don't want him getting fat."
"Come on," said Quistis, starting the engine. "Time to go."
Selphie and Rinoa bundled into the car, and amid much undignified waving, as if they were leaving for a vacation rather than a mission, they were gone.
Irvine watched Squall carefully; he was watching the car disappear into the distance, fiddling with the chain on his gunblade.
"So, Commander." He said. "The beach?"
Squall nodded slowly. "Irvine…"
"Yeah?"
"Rinoa is ready for this, isn't she? I'm not sending her off somewhere she can't deal with?"
"Of course not. Zell?"
"Oh she's ready," said Zell. "Never readier. It's Quistis I'm worried about."
The other two looked at him in surprise.
"Why?" asked Irvine. "Quistis has got more experience than any of us. Fuck, she's saved my ass more times than I like to remember."
"Haven't you noticed anything odd about her recently, though?" Zell continued. "I mean, she's never around, always in her office. She doesn't just hang with us anymore. And she went off with that guy at the graduation party. He wasn't even her type. I think something's wrong."
"Now you tell me," groaned Squall. "That's all I need."
Zell shrugged. "I might be wrong," he said. "I just thought I'd say, is all, there might be something up. Possibly."
Squall shook his head. "Let's go to the beach," he said. "I don't need any more possibilities to worry about. I need answers."
* * * * * * *
Xu arranged fresh flowers next to Risha's bed in the infirmary, watching the fragile, pale face as she slept. She was starting to get restless again as Ether's effects wore off, and she became dependent on regular magic and drugs to keep her unconscious.
Xu sat on the bed, taking Risha's hand in her own, gently stroking in a pattern between her tiny wrist bones.
"My sister used to do this to me, when I had nightmares, to help me get back to sleep," she whispered. "She said it worked because of pressure points or something, but I just thought it felt nice… Oh Risha, I wish I could make you better, I wish I could make it all better. I wish Selphie were here. She's only been gone an hour and already I miss her more than I can bear… I keep remembering the first time I met her, when she came here from Trabia. She was so bouncy, full of life, so optimistic. I'd never met anyone like her before. I had the most amazing crush on her, right from that first day. I never dreamed she'd like me back, she was always with Irvine, and… but one day, it was after they got back from some mission, part of the first phase clearing up operation after the Lunar Cry, I think, and there was a party. She got really drunk, and I helped her back to her room, I don't know where Irvine or the others were, but I was pleased. She sat on her bed and looked at me with those big eyes…"
Xu paused for a moment, retreating into her own memories: and she just whispered 'get your knickers off, Xu, I want to lick you'. I don't think I'd ever heard anything so hot in my life.
"Of course, she passed out, then. So I stayed with her, all night, and in the morning she took me in her arms and… well. We've been together ever since. Our secret. Only sometimes I hate it being secret. I want to tell everyone how much I love her, how proud I am. And times like this, when she's away, I can't mope around like I want to, there's no-one to reassure me, because they don't know how much it hurts. The only person I can tell is you, because I know you can't hear me. Poor Risha, it much hurt so much."
Xu bit her lip, trying in vain to stop the tears spilling down her cheeks.
Oh Risha. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. It was an accident. Please get better. Please…
* * * * * * *
Irvine reached into his mind as they neared the beach, ready to junction Ether in case they ran into trouble. At the last minute, though, he pulled back. He didn't feel too comfortable with Ether at the moment, not after Frila. Instead, he called for Shiva and Siren, felt them slip into junction, more business-like than Ether, but all the more reassuring for it.
"What are we looking for, exactly?" asked Zell.
"I'm not sure," confessed Squall. "Just… anything that might give us a hint as to what happened yesterday. I'm going to retrace my steps, as far as I remember them, and I want you two to stay on the beach and watch me. Whatever happens, don't follow. I'm hoping you'll be able to see what happens to me, even if I don't remember afterwards."
"I don't like the sound of that," said Irvine. "Whatever happened yesterday, it made me feel like shit. It could be dangerous."
"I've done dangerous before," said Squall. "I'll be OK."
"You know there's no arguing with him when he gets all heroic like this, Irvine," said Zell. "We'll just have to hang around and pick up the pieces as usual."
Irvine grinned. This felt almost like old times. "You're right. Go on then, Commander. Lead the way into certain death."
Squall ignored them. "There's the cave," he said. "You guys wait at the entrance, and watch me."
Zell, Irvine and Angelo obediently took up their station at the cave entrance, as Squall drew Lionheart and stepped inside.
"Keep talking, Squall," said Zell. "It's dark. We won't be able to see you all the time."
"Okay. Um… it's kind of crunchy. And there's a shaft of light over there, in the corner."
There was a pause.
"Squall? You OK?"
"Fuck, Zell, I can't keep up a constant prattle like you do. I'm OK."
"You could sing," suggested Irvine.
"Very funny," muttered Squall. "OK, I'm at the back of the cave. There's an opening, into another chamber. Wow. It's really pretty. And I can hear… Oh, fu…"
Silence.
Angelo whined.
"Squall?"
"SQUALL?"
Irvine and Zell looked at each other.
"This is where we go save his ass, yeah?" said Irvine. Zell nodded.
They plunged into the cave.
* * * * * * *
Zell felt the memories feed back into his mind in a trickle.
Some had become familiar with practice. The orphanage. Seifer bullying him, Squall trying to protect him, always getting into fights. Moving to Balamb and becoming a Dincht. His mother, or the woman who came to be his mother, comforting him, building his confidence. Going to Garden to be a SeeD. The mission to Dollet, dragging Squall to safety as they fled the beach. Esthar, Lunatic Pandora, Ultimecia… and coming home, cocky, victorious.
Then, new, strange memories, like barely noticed dreams: comforting Irvine with Trabian vodka as he wept in Zell's arms; Quistis walking into the training centre, carrying Rinoa, limp and deathly pale, blood everywhere; Xu standing in the lab, glowing with pink energy, her eyes blank, unseeing.
He took a deep breath and focused on his surroundings. Irvine was still next to him, his normally rock-steady, gunsure hands trembling slightly. Zell followed his gaze and saw Squall, standing by a pool in the corner of the cave, staring into its depths.
"Irvine… you OK?"
Irvine nodded. "I remember," he said, his voice a shadow of it's usual rich timbre. "I remember so much."
"I know," said Zell. "We'll forget again, won't we? When we leave? This is what happened to you before, right?"
"Is it real? It feels real."
"I think so," said Zell. "It's so hard to tell. Look, Irvine… whatever happened in the past, you know you got through it. You're fine now. Selphie's fine."
"Because we don't remember. That's cheating," Irvine smiled weakly. "It's not the same as healing. And Squall…"
"Is this what it felt like, last time?"
"No. Gods no. Last time it hurt, I mean physically hurt. And there was anger and … Squall remembered something that had happened that made him mad at me. He hated me. This is different. More… manageable, kinda."
"We ought to collect some crystals," said Zell. "And maybe a sample from the pool?"
"Yeah," said Irvine. "Can you hear music?"
Zell shook his head. "Not really. Just a kind of hum."
"I think there was music, last time. Let's get gathering, then. You get crystals, I'll get the water. Keep an eye on Squall."
"We should have brought a camera," said Zell. "Recorded what happened."
"I've got a voice recorder somewhere," Irvine searched his duster pockets. "There. You take it. Tell it what we need to remember. Personally, I'm happy to forget."
"Irvine…"
"It's OK. Go on, get collecting."
Zell headed off round the cave, carefully selecting bits of crystal here and there, tucking them into his pack.
Irvine walked slowly towards the pool.
Squall was still looking deep into it, as if transfixed by something he saw there, but all Irvine could see was the reflection of his and Squall's faces, shimmering blue and pink in the crystal-clear water.
Irvine knelt and slowly dragged an empty water bottle through the pool, ripples and waves breaking the perfect image.
"Irvine…"
He stood up, screwing the top back on the bottle.
"Squall, are you…"
Squall's grey eyes were unfathomable; he let out a cry that could have been grief or ecstasy and fell into Irvine's arms. Irvine caught him as he regained his balance, ready to comfort and reassure, but to his surprise, Squall pulled Irvine close and kissed him, mouth soft, his tongue slithering past Irvine's lips. Irvine couldn't help but kiss him back, hungry for affection and instantly horny, but also aware of Zell's eyes on them. He reluctantly pulled back.
"Squall… hang on, babe," he whispered. "This isn't you. Not really."
He was grateful not to have Ether's insistent voice in his head at that point.
Squall's eyes came into focus. "Irvine… wha…"
"Zell!" Irvine yelled over his shoulder, "we're leaving. Now!" He took Squall's cool hand in his own. "Much as I'd like to push you against that wall and fuck you stupid, babe," he said, "this isn't a memory. This is just plain wrong. I'm done with wrong. You're in love with Rinoa and that's how it should be."
He turned and ran, pulling Squall with him.
* * * * * * *
"What happened? How long were we out?" Squall blinked in the sunlight. "And Irvine?"
"Huh?"
"You can let go of my hand."
Irvine jumped guiltily and dropped his grip, even though he couldn't remember how he'd come to be holding Squall's hand in the first place.
"About half an hour," Zell said. "Can anyone remember anything?"
Squall and Irvine shook their heads.
"You were supposed to watch," said Squall, "not follow me."
"You disappeared," said Zell plaintively, "and went all quiet. I mean… even quieter than usual."
"I've got a bottle here," said Irvine, "full of… water."
"That's original," said Squall, dryly.
"I've got crystal samples," said Zell, "and what looks like your voice recorder, Irvine."
"We must have recorded something," said Squall. "Come on, play it back."
"No," said Zell. "Completely blank."
"Oh fuck. We're not getting anywhere, are we?" Squall ran his hands through his hair, exasperated. "Risha'll be waking up soon and I haven't found out anything."
"We've got samples," said Irvine. "Maybe Xu'll be able to find out something. We didn't even know there were crystals in Balamb, so that's a move forwards. And I can junction Ether and put Risha back to sleep." He tried hard to keep the reluctance out of his voice.
"Who's that over there?" said Zell.
"What?"
"Over there, by the shore. Only, I thought this was out of bounds, since yesterday?"
"It is," said Squall.
"It's Frila." Irvine was suddenly very still.
"The gunblade drop out?" said Zell. "I've been meaning to talk to you about her, Squall. Xian was really pissed off you suggested she should leave. We really need gunblade specialists."
"I know," said Squall. "But she wasn't happy and… look, she shouldn't be there, drop out or otherwise. It's not safe."
"Instructor Dincht to the rescue, then," said Zell, and bounded off down the beach towards her.
"Don't be too hard on her," Irvine called after him, before he could stop himself. Fuck, way to give yourself away, man. "It must be tough, leaving Garden," he recovered.
"That's no excuse," said Squall. "Rules are there for a reason."
"Yeah, like we never broke any," said Irvine.
"That's different," Squall replied, but without much conviction.
Frila saw Instructor Dincht running towards her, and braced herself. Just let him try. I'm just in the mood for a really good argument.
"Ms Alfyrd, you shouldn't be here. It's out of bounds."
"Fuck you."
"What?!" Zell was stunned completely out of Instructor mode.
"I'm not a cadet anymore. I can do what I like, without your stupid rules."
"It's not safe," said Zell. "There's a Guardian loose and… take it from me, it's not safe."
"Well, that's for me to worry about, isn't it?" she said, stubbornly.
"You're not even armed," Zell pointed out. "How would you defend yourself if you got attacked? I don't remember you showing up to many hand-to-hand classes."
Actually, I hadn't thought of that. Fuck.
"Alright, I'm going," she grumbled, suddenly aware that she was probably coming over more as a stroppy teenager than a lone rebel.
"Hang fast. You'd better come with us, just in case."
She glared at him. Then she saw Irvine and Leonhart striding up the beach towards them.
"Alright," she said, "I know, not safe, blah blah, irresponsible, blah blah, not what we expect of our students blah. I'm not arguing." Irvine was gazing out at the ocean, as if she wasn't even there. "I've heard it all before."
"That's enough," said Squall, with steel in his voice. "I don't care what you think. I have enough to do without having to save the stupid necks of cadets who should know better."
Frila looked at her feet. She genuinely respected Squall, and didn't want his last impression of her to be as an incompetent idiot. Plus he was scary. "I'm sorry, Commander, " she said. "It won't happen again."
"No," he said. "It won't."
"Er, guys," said Irvine, "there's something coming out of the sea."
"It's just surf, isn't it?" Zell said. "Only…"
"No," Irvine took aim with his rifle, "I don't think so."
He was right. They watched as the approaching wave swelled, surf rippling across the shore, but instead of crashing on the sand it curled in on itself, shaping water into a body, forming teeth, scales, claws and wings.
"Frila, get back," yelled Zell.
"No!" she said, "I got you into this! Let me help! Please! I can fight!"
Squall turned to tell her to run, but something in her eyes shot straight to his heart. She was hungry for this. She needed it.
He found himself tossing Lionheart through the air to her, even as Irvine and Zell braced themselves for attack.
Frila caught the gunblade deftly, taking a second to appreciate the perfect balance of the weapon, feeling it hum with magic through her hand, up her arm.
Then the water dragon was there, pulling its head back to strike.
Squall called Ifrit, heard Zell release a scan spell. Irvine had already taken a couple of shots, but with little effect, so he paused to boost his weapon with magic.
"It's Oceanus!" Zell announced.
"Wha…? I thought Oceanus was in the cave!" said Squall, watching as Ifrit hurled fire at the dragon.
Oceanus roared as Ifrit's fire steamed along it's back, reared up it's head and lunged at Squall, who rolled neatly out of the way.
"Wave!" yelled Irvine. "Brace yourselves!"
Sure enough, there was a swell headed for them, building steadily.
Frila looked on in amazement as Squall stood in the path of the oncoming wave, feet planted firmly in the sand, and yelled.
"Come on then! You know you want to, you fucker! Soak me, why don't you!"
Then there was a slap of water; too late she remembered to close her eyes and mouth, gulped in ocean. She managed to stay standing, though, and as the tide receded she could see the others had, too.
Then Oceanus was rising in front of her, no more than a foot away, something like panic, or maybe just temper in its watery eyes. She attacked, hardly even thinking about what she was doing. The beautiful weapon she held was like an extension of herself, and she channelled all her rage, all the anger she felt about Irvine, Balamb Garden and her own stupidity, down its magnificent blade and through the chambers of the gun, timing shots perfectly. Oceanus squealed with rage and pain.
~You dare attack me! ~
Its voice echoed round her head, distracting her long enough for the Guardian to strike, spitting ice-laced water at her that stung like a blizzard, robbing her of her breath and searing her skin.
~ I will teach you respect, child! ~
"No! I. am. not. a. child!" she punctuated each word with an attack, fighting through tears of rage. She was vaguely aware of the others throwing fire magic at the Guardian, but it seemed barely to notice; it was pulling back to strike again. She desperately searched it's scaly body for anything that looked remotely vulnerable, finally settled for what looked like a soft spot under one wing and lunged, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Lionheart sank into watery flesh, and Oceanus thrashed it's body, trying to escape the pain. She twisted the blade and fired.
~ You fight well, child.~
Her temper flared again; she knew she'd delivered a blow close to deadly. It was a Guardian, she shouldn't kill it.
She could make it submit. She could make it hers.
"Oceanus!" she yelled.
She heard Irvine and Squall shout "No!" together, realising what she was about to do. She ignored them. It was a long time since anything had felt this good, this right.
"Oceanus," she lowered her voice, summoning all the authority she could muster. "Will you be with me? You know I am worthy."
There was a sudden stillness. She felt the wind whipping through her wet hair, and she was aware of the others, motionless, waiting.
~ So be it. I will be yours.~
She braced herself, not knowing what to expect. Then there was a rush as Oceanus invaded her mind, filling her with dreadful power and strength, more than she could have imagined. And then, the pain, awful, searing pain, white heat through her brain and down her spine.
She felt strong arms catch her, sank gratefully into them, and passed out.
* * * * * * *
"Frila… Frila, come on honey, talk to me." Irvine brushed back her hair from her face, willing her back to consciousness.
"Here, Irvine, give her this." Squall passed him a bottle of elixir. "I'll draw Oceanus out as she comes round."
"No," said Zell, "it's too dangerous."
Squall flashed him an angry look.
"It's her first junction," he explained. "If you take the power away from her straight away like that you could do all sorts of damage. Besides, Oceanus chose her. They always have a reason. Let them be for a while."
"I suppose so. But I'm going to have a very long talk with her when she comes round."
"I don't understand why she thought she was so crap at the gunblade," murmured Irvine, pouring Elixir slowly between her lips. "Looked pretty damn good to me."
Zell shook his head. "Last time I saw her in action she was pretty rough," he said. "But I think she's always had talent. Just couldn't be bothered to do anything with it."
Frila spluttered; her eyes fluttered open. "Irvine?"
"Yes, Hotshot. You OK?"
"No, you wanker, it fucking hurts." Her eyes closed again.
Zell tried hard not to laugh.
"Can you walk?" said Squall, a hard edge to his voice.
"Yes, Commander," she said, and struggled to get to her feet. Irvine helped her up, but as soon as he let her go she crumpled to her knees.
"Way to go, Squall," muttered Zell. "It's OK Frila, it'll pass. Just take a minute."
She nodded, pushing Irvine away impatiently as he tried to put an arm around her. "Be 'kay," she mumbled.
Squall picked up Lionheart and paced off down the beach a way, swearing to himself.
"What's with him?" said Zell.
"He got scared," said Irvine. "If anything had happened to Hotshot here he would have felt responsible about fifty times over. You know what he's like."
"Don't call me Hotshot," murmured Frila. "Feel sick," she added.
"You'll feel better soon," promised Irvine. "Just breathe deep."
She gave him a hard stare.
"So what's going on?" asked Zell. "Nida told you Oceanus was in the cave, right?"
"Yeah. That's why we went in there in the first place. Maybe it was, yesterday. They do move about."
"I guess. It seemed pretty at home in the sea, though. And that surfy thing was way cool."
Irvine watched Frila as she sat back on her heels, massaging her temples.
"Does it always hurt this much?" she whispered.
"Sometimes," said Zell. "And usually you have training first, to prepare your mind."
"Oh. I guess I skipped a few classes, huh?"
"Is Oceanus OK?" Zell asked. "Has it settled?"
She thought for a moment. "It seems OK," she said. "It's gone kind of quiet."
"That's normal."
She struggled to her feet; with some effort, Irvine stopped himself from offering her his arm to lean on.
"I'm OK now," she said. "We can go."
"Are you sure?" Irvine said softly, "we can take as long as you need. "
"I'm fine." She gave him a faint smile. "Thanks."
"OK Squall, we're ready to go!" hollered Zell.
Squall strode towards them, shaking the water from his hair. His dripping jacket was slung over one shoulder, and his soaked shirt clung to his chest, hinting at the shape of lean muscle underneath.
Frila blinked, feeling something stir inside her that was nothing to do with Guardians or swallowing sea water. She reminded herself that she didn't go for the strong, silent type, however good they looked wet.
"Are you alright?" he asked. His voice was still cold, but had lost something of its edge.
"Yes, Commander," she said. "I'm sorry I disobeyed orders, but…"
"You can tell me the buts at thirteen hundred hours, in the gunblade training hall," he said. "Right now we need to get back to Garden. Is Oceanus settled?"
She nodded. "Yes, Sir."
"Right. Let's go."
She had a million questions, about Oceanus, about junctions, about the power she could feel surging through her body. But for once her common sense won the battle with her tongue, and she followed the others back to Garden in silence.
* * * * * * *
By the time they got back, the lack of sleep was starting to get to Squall. He reminded Frila to be in the training hall in an hour, asked Zell to take the samples to Xu and check Risha was still asleep, and went back to his quarters for a shower.
He noticed Rinoa had made the bed before they left that morning, and suddenly he really wished she was there, to tell him what to say to Frila, to help him relax, still his mind. To hold in his arms and kiss…
He lay on top of the bed, just to rest for a moment, closed his eyes and fell asleep.
* * * * * * *
Irvine watched as Frila headed off in the direction of her room without a word, either completely abosorbed by her first junction or ignoring him on principle, he couldn't tell which.
"I'll take the samples to the lab," said Zell. "You go and check on Risha?"
Irvine nodded. "She should be OK," he said. "But you never can tell."
She wasn't.
As Irvine entered the Infirmary he knew straight away something was wrong. He broke into a run.
"Irvine, thank gods," Xu grasped his hand, tears pouring down her face. "She's coming round. Please, can you help?"
Irvine swiftly unjunctioned Shiva and Siren and called Ether.
~Sniper? You had others in your mind.~
~Don't be offended, Ether. Just needed physical stuff today, is all. I need you now. We need to put Risha back to sleep.~
~As you wish.~ Irvine wasn't sure that the Guardian could change the expression of his voice much, but he sounded distinctly offended, all the same.
"It's OK, Xu. Don't worry."
"She shouldn't have woken up, should she? It's getting shorter each time, isn't it?"
"Yes." Irvine sat once more on Risha's bed, held her hands. He realised with a shock that her eyes were open, there was a flicker of recognition as she saw him."
~Ether, we need to hurry.~
~She wakes. ~
~We need to put her to sleep again. Can you do that?~
~Yes.~
Irvine braced himself for the rush, but it didn't come.
~Ether? Ether, what's wrong?~
And then it came, strong and violent, like rapids heading for a waterfall. Her mind felt different, not just the fear this time, but anger, deep-rooted fury, like a tempest. He felt danger at an instinctive level that made him close his mind as much as he could.
~It is done. She rests.~
Ether slipped to the back of his mind.
He opened his eyes, almost frightened to find out what had happened, how long it had taken. It was still light, at any rate, and Xu was still there, looking out of the window.
He was suddenly reminded of his visit to Selphie in this same room, just two days ago.
It felt like a lifetime.
He checked his watch: just half an hour. Risha was sleeping quietly, all seemed to be well. He felt tired, but the feelings weren't as raw as they had been last time. Or the time before.
He let out a sigh of relief.
"Oh, Irivine, you're back. Are you OK? Is Risha OK?"
"Yes," he said. "We're fine. Was I... did I..."
"You kind of curled up on the bed," she smiled, bringing out her dimples. "You looked really cute, actually," she said. "Risha went under again almost straight away. The nurse said just to leave you til you came out of it on your own."
"Well, that's good. Maybe it's getting easier." Somehow he couldn't shake off a sense of uneasiness, and not just because Xu had described him as looking cute.
"If you're OK I think I'll go to the lab," Xu picked up her jacket from the end of the bed. "I want to have a look at the stuff you brought back from the beach."
"Yeah," Irvine was pleased to see Angelo waiting for him at the door. "Good luck with that. I guess I've got a dog to take for a walk."
Xu watched them stride off down the corridor together, and breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank gods he hadn't noticed.
* * * * * * *
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Author's note:
OK slash fans, please don't curse me for making Irvine drag Squall out of the cave! Sometimes plot has to come first ;)
Comments? Questions? Feedback welcome as ever.