Is There More?
Author: Knowhere
Chapter 7: Recognition
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Nothing but Tyler, Kate and any other fictional character.
AN: Sorry, this took a little while to crank out but I've got SAT classes every Monday and Wednesday from 6-9; but don't worry, I haven't given up on the story. I still have a while to go until we reach the intended destination.
Side Note: Addressing the review that said that they would like to see Jess's point of view about their relationship: I contemplated over whether or not I wanted to alternate point of views in the middle of this story, and although it's tempting to show Jess's feelings, the answer I arrived at is: No. I started out with Rory, and I don't want to break the flow of the writing by switching to Jess. I've got a continuation for this story in mind, sorta a part two after I end this one, and I'll most probably do it in a third person narrative. But thanks for the input; I'm always up for questions or suggestions.
Summary: AU. College life is a journey of ups and downs; are Rory and Jess ready to take on what life is about to throw at them including a prospect of a new relationship, or will they choose the path of friendship like they did years ago? Literati.
My 'I Love Lucy' clock tells me that it's five in the morning, too early to do anything but it's too late for me to try to fall back asleep. I feel trapped now in my room, in this apartment that is filled with memories of Tyler. I suddenly miss Mom so much, I want to revert back to a time where I could lay my head on her lap and she would stroke my hair, telling me that everything's going to be okay. I suddenly remember that I was supposed to go visit her this weekend; I promised that I would bring Tyler to go see Stars Hallow today. Ugh, just as I was finally coming to terms of flying solo, I've got to go home and face the town who was expecting my new boyfriend. Maybe if I leave now and catch the early morning bus, I can sneak in and talk to Mom first without having the entire town see me arrive alone. I grab my duffel bag and start to shove in some clothes and toiletries in there and I tip-toe out into the kitchen jotting down a quick note for Jess so that he won't worry about me. I hang it up on the fridge with a smiley face magnet and rush out of the apartment. There just too memories for me to stay here and mope.
Boarding the next bus to Stars Hallow I pull out my paperback and begin to submerge myself into the words. The tiny print seems to swim around the pages, and instead of comforting me it only arouses questions within me. I'm still puzzled about the statement that Tyler left me with; "your love might be in the next room…" He knew how close Jess and I are; and at the beginning of our relationship, Tyler even felt somewhat insecure about intruding on our friendship. But I had ensured him that Jess and I were best friends and that he shouldn't feel as if he needed to try to fill Jess's shoes. I know Jess and I are close, it's just after hearing that story that Tyler told me about Kate, I wonder if I'm overlooking something in my life.
I'm jolted out of my pondering as the bus jerks to a sudden halt. The sun is just peeking over the horizon and I swear Stars Hallow looks like one of those towns that you see in those old western movies; I half expected to see a sheriff or Taylor, come out and see who would be visiting at such an early hour. Quickly grabbing my bag I hop off the bus and start the trek to my home.
Walking the rather short distance from the bus stop to home, I take in all the memories that are present in this town. I pass Luke's, where normally, in a couple of hours, Mom and I would be heading for our morning fix of coffee; I pass the video store and remember the Rory Curtain and how Jess would never forget to tease me about it when we went in to rent our weekly movie. I gaze at Miss Patty's and recall the time when there was a Chilton dance and Dean was out of town; I begged and pleaded and Jess actually agreed to go with me. We had to take a couple of ball-room dancing lessons, and to repay him I had to let him pick what movie and what book we would read for the next month; but that dance turned out to become one of the most memorable nights of my life. He arrived in a black suit, because he refused to wear a tux and we went and danced and I remember thinking to myself that the night was incredible. After the dance, he took me out for ice-cream and we walked around Hartford, just content being with each other. That's how our walks started; then a couple of days later he asked if I wanted to go out for the night and we had dinner and we took another walk. Then they just started to become tradition to us.
I'm at the front porch…deep breath…I can do this. What am I afraid of? Mom has always been there for me through thick and thin and she'll always understand. I dig into my backpack and realize that I didn't bring my house key. Looking around for the turtle in which we have always hid our key, I scoop it out and stick it into the key hole. Just as I'm twisting the door knob open, the door flies open and a huge frying pan would have left a dent in my head had I not ducked; but unfortunately, I inherited those great coordination skills from Mom and instead of being hit by the pan, my eye crashed into the door knob when I tried to escape the swinging weapon.
I scream and I hear someone yell, "Oh my God, Rory!" as I curl up in a ball right there on the porch in the very early morning for everyone to see. "Rory! What are you doing here so early?"
"Mom! Can we just go inside…I think I'm getting a black eye and it really stings."
"Oh yeah; sure honey. I'm really sorry. I thought you were a burglar, or Kirk, or some bad person like that."
She ushers me inside and before she grabs the towel and ice for me, she flips on the switch for the coffee pot. I smile; typical Lorelai Gilmore, ice may temporary cure the swollenness, but coffee is the panacea for life. I think about how ridiculous we must look right now; a twenty-something kid with a black eye from a door knob and her Mom trying to find out what gets rid of a shiner. A couple of minutes later, with an ice pack plastered to my face and two steaming bowls of coffee, she asks, "Hey, honey…what is it?"
"Huh?" I'm really out of it right now…I didn't realize that she was referring why I'm here so early.
"Rule of thumb, Rory. No Gilmore or any self-respecting person should get up in the middle of the night and climb on a bus to see their mother, unless there is an unexpected coffee shortage in the world, or there is the biggest shoe sale in the history of mankind."
Smiling wistfully I didn't know how much I've missed being physically near Mom until right now; the way that she cracks jokes, how she can always make me feel better with just a couple of warm looks, and how she just makes me feel like home. It doesn't matter where we are or what time of the day it is, as long as I'm with her, I always feel like I'm safe and loved. "Mom, Tyler and I broke up."
"Oh, Honey…I'm so sorry." Her features suddenly drop and her smile turns sympathetic, and there is silence. She's waiting for me to continue on with the story of the break up, but everything happened so quickly that it just seems surreal. I begin my story, starting with the good parts: how we met, where he took me, and all the usual girly gossip. Then I turn to the night when I saw him in the coffee shop and how he came over the next week and then the reason behind the lie and the blonde. When I'm done, I'm exhausted and she lets out a sigh of relief, knowing now that he didn't hurt me and the separation was basically mutual.
"Sweetie, I'm so proud of you for being able to let go of him. Why don't you crash on the couch or something…you look like a couple more hours would do you some good."
"Thanks Mom; it's good to be back home." I make my way to the couch and I turn it into a temporary bed for me. I snuggle into the familiar scent of the sheets and I finally close my eyes, feeling completely relaxed.
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Rolling over I see that Jess is next to me; he's been staring at me and he smiles broadly at the sight of me being awake. He leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips. Wanting much more than he's giving me, I shift my weight and he's now hovering over me. Bracing his weight on his forearms, he kisses me deeper and I moan slightly at his restrained gentleness. I'm still hungry for more and I trail a path of kisses down his neck and to his chest and back up to his neck again; I find his pulse and I begin to lick my way from the pulse to his collarbone. He groans above me and I'm emboldened by the response. Gathering up the courage, my hands wander to the waistband of his boxers and I…
My eyes fly open as I awake to an empty couch. What was my subconscious doing? I'm somewhat shaken by that steamy dream of me and Jess and I wonder what possibly made me think of something like that? Kisses have never been more than a friendly peck but my dream had felt so real. It was as if I could really feel him running his hands all over my body. Just the thought of him kissing me makes me shudder. He was so gentle in my dream; I wonder what it would like in real life; I can't believe that I had that dream again…lately for the last couple of weeks, I've been having the repeated dream of me and Jess in bed together. What am I thinking? Does this mean something?
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I walk into the kitchen where the smell of coffee is and I gently finger the swollen eye, I can already see the rumors flying about it and my ex-boyfriend when I step out of the house today to go to Luke's. With one good eye open, I'm hallucinating, because I think I see Jess standing here in my mother's kitchen sipping coffee and reading the morning paper. Noticing me he starts to speak, and I finally come to terms that he isn't a mirage. "Rory hey, I got here as soon as I read your note…" He trails off and I raise an eyebrow as a question for him to continue.
"What the hell happened to your eye!? Is that why you've been upset these last couple of days…I swear, if that dirt bag Tyler laid a hand on you, he'll loose that same hand tomorrow."
"Jess, nothing happened…Tyler didn't hit me. I ran into the doorknob when I was trying to sneak in here this morning." I try to pacify Jess; but I'm secretly pleased that he would be so concerned about me. "Jess, I think I owe you an explanation. You've been really wonderful these last couple of days and I didn't even have the guts to tell you what's really been bothering me."
He pulls a seat out for me at the kitchen table and guides me down to sit and explain. "Well, first things first, Tyler and I broke up. And before you hunt him down to kill him or anything, he explained everything to me and we both decided that we should move on. You see, his best friend moved back to town, and he says that they're like, soul mates. I just couldn't keep him from his true love…god, I'm such a sap for those kinds of things, you know me, I cried at the end of Lion King for goodness sakes; how could I keep a fairy tale from beginning between two best friends?"
His arms are around me as he quietly listens to my explanations. After a couple of deafening moments, he stands up and takes me up with him and engulfs me in big large hug. "It's going to be okay, Ror. He just wasn't the right one for you."
Nodding into his shirt, I lay my head on his shoulder and breathe in deeply of the scent that is none other but Jess; it's the perfect mix of cologne and soap and it drives me crazy. I always feel secure when I smell that combination. "How about we go for a walk to clear our minds?" I nod, and we head out with his arm around my waist towards our favorite spot in Stars Hallow: the bridge.
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We're lounging around on the bridge in the chill of the early morning and I regret the decision of not bringing a sweater with me. Noticing my discomfort, Jess wordlessly hands me his zip-up hoodie and continues reading his book. I lean back on him and he just holds me tighter at my waist; I think this is what heaven will feel like to me…with Jess, the sunrise, the gentle rippling of the water, and a good book. My thoughts wander off and I suddenly realize why I didn't torture myself over the break-up with Tyler, why I haven't had extremely serious relationships for a while, why I feel so safe, the reason for the dreams, and why I feel so loved here in the silence of our breathing. Oh my God…I'm in love with Jess.
AN: Hum…does that make you Lits a little more pleased with this story now? Well, I know I'm ecstatic that I finally had Rory realize something monumental in her life. Keep reading to see what happens.