TITLE: "Adventures in Clubbing"

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove (strangelove317@hotmail.com)
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Um, I don't know. No particular spoilers. Visser Three is still Visser Three.
FEEDBACK: I'd love it.
DISCLAIMER: K. A. Applegate owns the Animorphs.

"Adventures in Clubbing"

Written by: Doctor Strangelove

My name is Marco.

Tom is dead.

I know... I know it's what had to be done. I know that he had to die. I mean, there was no other option, right? Yeah. So, even though I know all that. Even though I didn't physically kill him. Despite all that, I feel like it's my fault.

I feel like I was too rash. I could've waited and thought up a better plan. Or better yet, let someone else think us the plan. I mean, what the fuck was I thinking!? I... I should've waited. I should've found some other way besides...

Eight other people are dead. I didn't even think about that. People besides Tom that might die. Three were in the club. When it blew up, they went with it. So did Tom. Or, more specifically, Tom's corpse. His death kinda triggered the explosion. But that's the "official" reason of how he got killed. It was on the news. They said some kind of arsonist or something.

But five other people died that night. No one seems to know why. They just keeled over dead.

I know why.

They were Controllers. They had received whatever treatment from the Yeerks. And now they were dead because of it. Because of me.

I knew one of them. His name was Matt. He sat next to me in math and science. He let me cheat off of him a lot. He was a cool guy. And now he's dead.

Probably more too. That just weren't in our city. I'm sure a few Vissers had probably wanted to become super-strong. I wonder...

I can't even talk to Jake. What would I say? I can't even look at him. I've never seen him like this. Before he was talking calmly about having to kill his brother but now... Now I think it's finally hit him. Tom is dead. He's not coming back. And now Jake, it's like he's dead inside. I saw him, afterwards, after he found out... There was nothing. No emotion. No life. I saw a few tears run down his face, but that was it. It scared me.

Nothing is simple anymore. Ever since we walked through the construction site, it's all... I'm constantly in danger. I never know who I can trust. I find out my long dead mother is the most powerful in a evil alien force. And hell, in the last few weeks. It's too much.

I can't handle it. I can't... I wish I could take it all back. But even if I could, I wouldn't. Because even though I don't want to. Even though I hate it. This is what I have to do. Because, hey, if we didn't, who would?

I'm not even going to get into the stuff with Ax. That's way too much for me to handle. It just really sucks, the whole thing.

And then there's more. There's something coming. Something big. Someone, I guess is more appropriate. Balthazar.

I don't even know how to explain it. I don't know how to... Tom, well, Tom's Yeerk, said that when Balthazar comes, that we'll wish we were already dead. I think he's right. I think that's exactly what's going to happen.

This thing is coming. And we don't know when. We don't know how to prepare for it. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know anything about it.

I don't we're gonna win.

I think this thing, whatever it is, is gonna kill us all.

And part of me wants it to. Part of me just wants this all to be over. Because it's all, it's too much.

People are going to die. That's a given. It's a war. Innocent people will die. I might die. And that's...

So, that was my story. It didn't really have a happy ending. Hell, it didn't really end at all, did it? But that's it. I'm done. I'm done recounting my life for you. Sorry, but I can't do this anymore. And, well, I guess that's all.

Thanks for reading.

It's over. It took six months but it's finally over. And really, it's just beginning. There's more to the story, a lot more. But we'll be getting there soon enough. I just wanted to thank all of the readers, especially those of you that reviewed. You were a major inspiration for me to keep writing this and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm sorry the chapters weren't as long as they could be, there wasn't as much Tom as there could've been, that there weren't as many hot wings as there should've been, and that I couldn't incorporate "If You're Not the One". But you people were great. I couldn't have asked for a better group of readers. Thank you. Thank you all.

To reviewers: Aaren: Tom sort of liked Marco. I wished I could've delved into that relationship more. Tom was starting to like Marco, but he was still in love with Jason. I think he has just sort of given up on life in general, so he wasn't really looking for a new relationship.

Jinako-chan: I was a little worried about how to handle Tom's death, but I knew it had to be from his POV. Sort of a final goodbye to the guy. And I think all that blood loss might have been making him a little weird. We actually have a few fics without Esthrill's Master. Well, he's there, but not important yet. You'll see who Tom saw soon enough. I'll just say, he saw two people. I've got most of the sequels to "Boys Will Be Boys" at least planned out, if not written. I'm still a little unsure on how to end that whole thing. Jake will be getting his just deserts though. I was listening to "Where Do We Go From Here?" while writing this. Kinda appropriate, huh?

Myself: *polished blunt object and then sets it down* Anyway. Deus Ex Machina is a phrase that means Machine of the Gods. It came from Greek plays where the gods would come down at the end and fix everything. Now it applies to when a play/story/movie/etc. had an ending that just kinda fixes everything up even if it doesn't really make a lot of sense. In this fic it kinda had a double meaning that I don't think anyone will get. Yet.

Aqua Rhapsody: Well, someone had to die. It's no fun if everyone lives. But, seriously... well that's mostly true. I wanted to kill someone and Tom seemed the most likely. So I wrote it that his death would fit. I've known from the start I was gonna kill him. Um, this was the last one.

Lisa-Ann: Wow, I've made you threatless. Neat. So, no brats? Also neat.

Myst: Um, it kinda turned out short, didn't it? Who Tom saw will be covered pretty soon.

While Marco was busy infiltrating the Sharing's club, Jake was busy with problems of his own. Problems of divine proportions.

"I Am Jake"
June 5, 2003