Not My World

Chapter Two

Willow

Dear Willow —

As much as it hurts me to do this, I know it's the right thing to do. I know it's right for me to say goodbye.

You, of everyone, will probably be the most driven to come and find me. You've always been determined to follow your intuition without missing a beat. This is the only time I've ever asked you not to. Don't report me missing and don't send out search parties. Please.

And God, Will, don't even do a locater spell. I know that you understand my reasoning — at least you will in time — and you'd only do a locater spell to make sure I'm all right, wherever I am. If I knew you could protect my whereabouts from Dawn, then I'd tell you where I'm going. But I don't think it's possible to hide something like that from Spike, and he'd come and try to get me to come home.

Yes, I do remember that Spike died. But something tells me that he's still got things to do here on this earth. Something in me knows that he'll be back. You can't tell me that's not possible — look at me!

Speaking of Dawn and Spike, can you take care of them for me now? Dawn's always looked up to you, and she'll do anything you tell her to. You're her big sister now. She won't understand this.

And Spike — oh, God. I love him, Willow. I love him. More than I loved Angel. He's changed for the better. He's worth a chance, Will. Please try to accept him. I know you can, but Xander won't. Hell, I don't even think Dawn will. Giles won't, but then he's never even liked me flirting with guys - let alone falling in love with them!

I owe you my life. If it weren't for you and Xander, I would have let the very next vampire I faced take my life. I'd have surrendered and your lives would never have been placed in so much danger.

I know we aren't as close as we used to be. But you know I love you, Will, right? I always will. You're still my sister. I will always remember you, and I will always love you. Just because I'll be gone won't change that.

Please don't forget me, but don't try and find me either.

I love you, Willow.

Love always,

— Buffy