Original characters, world and backstory belong to Squaresoft, lucky folks.

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Chapter 20 - Waking

Squall watched Irvine and Rinoa, and thought hard. A plan was forming in his mind, at last.

The door swooshed open, and Zell bounded in, mindless of Squall's glare.

"Squall, hi, I've done teaching for the day. When are we setting out?"

Squall frowned. "Setting out where?"

"To get Selphie! We are going, aren't we?"

Rinoa stirred, trying to snuggle into the padded leather of the chair as if it were a pillow.

"What's up with them?" asked Zell, noticing the Irvine and Rinoa for the first time.

"Rinoa just dozed off and Irvine passed out."

Zell smirked. "What on earth did you do to them?"

"Nothing! What? Oh, Zell, for goodness' sake."

Rinoa opened one eye. "Zell? Oh, hey Zell."

"Hey, Rin. You OK?"

"Better," she yawned and stretched, looked over towards Irvine. "He still out?"

Squall nodded. "Yeah. It won't be long now, I don't think."

"Is anyone gonna tell me what's going on?" asked Zell, hopping from foot to foot.

"Later," said Squall. "We need a proper briefing. I'll get Quistis to arrange something for later today."

"So, when are we going? I'll cancel tomorrow's classes, shall I?"

Squall shook his head. "There's no need to do that."

"We are… we are going to get her, aren't we?"

"No," said Squall. "At least, not yet. Not all of us."

Zell looked crestfallen. He stopped hopping. "Squally, you can't leave me out. This is Selphie."

"For fuck's sake, Zell, don't call me Squally. And I've got to do whatever gives us the best shot at getting her home alive. You know that."

"But…"

"I'm not saying who's coming and who's not, yet. I'm just saying wait. That's all."

Zell slumped into the chair Rinoa had just vacated, crushed.

There was a groan from the couch: Irvine was evidently waking up. "Fuck, my head hurts." Irvine pulled himself to a sitting position, rubbing his temples.

~Curaga~ Rinoa tossed magic to him.

"Fuck, no!" ~Reflect~

"What?" Rinoa exclaimed in surprise, as her own spell healed her of non-existent wounds. "Irvine, are you OK?"

"Yeah, it's just… was that from Gemini? The magic?"

Rinoa shook her head. "Of course not. I make my own magic, remember?"

Of course. Way to over-react, Kinneas. "Sorry, Rin. There's something wrong, with Gemini."

"What, exactly?" Squall launched himself off the desk and came over to them.

"It won't hurt Rin," Irvine explained, "but it's been changed in some way. Altered."

"Altered?"

"That's all Ether could tell me. It's thoughts and feelings are unnatural, and that hurt Ether - and me, apparently. Are you junctioned, Rin?"

Rinoa shook her head. "Just woke up," she said.

"Oh, gods, it didn't hurt you, did it?"

"No, no, I was just waiting for you to wake up, with Squall, and I guess I dropped off."

Zell cleared his throat. "Excuse me," he said, "but could someone tell me what's going on?"

"It's complicated," said Squall. "It'll wait 'til the briefing. I need to check some facts first." Zell looked crushed, but Squall took no notice. "Rinoa, I don't want you junctioning that thing again."

"You sound like my father," she said, teasing.

He looked crossly at her. "I mean it."

She poked him in the ribs, making Irvine wince in sympathy with Squall, and wonder where she got her nerve from. "It's alright," she said, "I won't junction Gemini again without your permission, Commander. Still, I'm glad we tried this time. At least we learned something." She raised her hand to cover another yawn, apparently oblivious of Squall's glare. "Hey, I feel better. That sleep did me good."

"Is Quistis alright today?" asked Zell, suddenly.

Squall shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't seen her. I guess she's still asleep."

"Hasn't anyone checked on her?"

They looked at each other.

"It wouldn't have been right to disturb her," said Rinoa. "She must need the rest. She drove all that way back last night, and we didn't get much sleep the night before."

"Why?" asked Squall.

"We had a little party," said Rinoa. "Gods, it seems like a lifetime ago."

Squall looked distinctly disapproving, but decided not to pursue it just at the moment. "Right. Rinoa, you and I are going to see Xu. If she's alright. Zell, will you check on Quistis?"

"Of course." Zell was out of the room and on his way almost before Squall had finished his sentence, without even a goodbye.

Rinoa picked up her sweater and pulled it round her shoulders. "Okay, Commander. Let's go."

Squall looked at Irvine. "You OK?"

Irvine nodded. "Yeah. Headache's gone now. Anything you want me to do?"

"I need to talk to you. Later. I'll come and find you. And I need a report. The written kind. Make sure your journal's up to date, and I want absolutely everything you've got on Ether. I'll get Frila to talk to Oceanus about Bane and you can include that, too."

Oh, great, thought Irvine. Paperwork. My favourite. He got the distinct feeling that he'd pissed Squall off, big-time, but he couldn't think how. In the brief period between entering the room and being knocked unconscious, Irvine distinctly remembered Squall smiling at him. There wasn't so much as a trace of that Squall in the eyes that were boring into Irvine now.

"Of course," he said. "Report. My best handwriting and everything. Promise."

Rinoa gave Irvine a little kiss on his forehead, and ran her fingers over his braid. "I like your hair like that," she said. "Must've made your arms ache, though," a slight frown flickering across her face.

"Uh… yeah." He pulled his hair over his shoulder, noticing the plait for the first time.

"Ask me, next time," said Rinoa, "I'll do yours and you can do mine."

"When you two have finished with the girly hair talk," said Squall, pointedly, "we have things to do?"

"Sorry," Rinoa giggled, and with a conspiratorial wink at Irvine, followed Squall out of the room.

Irvine stood up slowly, still feeling a little disorientated.

He really didn't feel like writing a report. And besides, there were questions about Bane that he needed to find answers for. For now, he decided, the report could wait.

With a pang of guilt that he hadn't done it already, he set out to go check on Risha.

* * * * * * *

"Quistis? Quisty? Are you in there?"

No. I'm not. Go away. Quistis clamped her hands over her ears to block out the sound of Zell's concerned voice.

"Quisty, are you alright?"

No. Not that you care.

"Come on, you must be there. I'm worried about you. Look, I'm sorry and all but I'm going to use the emergency code. It's only in case you're lying in a pool of blood, ok?"

Pool of blood? Now there's an idea. "It's okay, Zell, I'm alright. Just go away."

"Oh, thank gods. I thought something had happened…"

"No. Just trying to get some sleep."

"Right. Sorry, if I woke you. Squall wants a briefing, this afternoon. He didn't say what time, I guess the usual. He'll probably be in touch himself. Just thought I'd warn you. You sure you're OK?"

"I'm fine, Zell," Just useless and dead inside, nothing you need to worry your sweet, empty little head about. "I'm just going to have a shower. See you later, alright?"

"Okay. Look, if you need anything…"

"Yeah, right. Don't you have classes to teach, or something?"

"Well, no, but..."

"I really need to get in the shower now."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

"Goodbye, Zell."

"Bye."

She waited, listening to be sure he'd gone.

Then she pulled the covers over her head, and started to cry.

* * * * * * * *

Squall and Rinoa found Xu in her office, sitting at her computer, searching files.

She looked a lot calmer, Rinoa noticed with relief, and although her eyes were still puffy and swollen, she wasn't crying any more. She still looked tired, though.

"Hey Xu," she said, gently. "You doing alright?"

She gave a little smile. "Better, thanks. The Doc gave me something. Thanks, Rin."

"That's okay."

Squall cleared his throat a little. "I'm sorry about Selphie," he said. "We'll get her back. That's a promise."

Xu turned her attention back to her computer screen. "Yes," she said, "I'm sure you will."

"We'll do it together," said Rinoa.

Xu shook her head, pushing her chair back from the desk. "No. You won't want anything to do with me after what I've got to tell you. But I have to tell you. It's the only chance Selphie's got."

Rinoa looked confused, but Squall was just watching her closely, his face impassive.

"It's to do with the crystals, isn't it?" he said quietly.

Xu didn't look up. She just nodded. "And a Guardian," she said, "called Bane."

* * * * * * *

Risha had been moved to another part of the Infirmary, out of the emergency area. When Irvine arrived, she was sitting up in bed, a sketch pad balanced on her knees, concentrating hard on whatever she was drawing.

The sight filled his heart with hope: she looked so calm and ordinary.

Then he got closer, and saw that although she had full control of her pencil, for all her concentration the only things she was managing to put on the page were childish scribbles.

"Hey, sweetheart," he sat on the edge of the bed. "I brought you chocolate," she watched him curiously as he carefully placed a gift-wrapped box on her bedside table. "I know what girls need most in the world, you see."

"You're nice," she said, with a tiny smile. "Who are you?"

"I'm Irvine," he said. "Pleased to meet you."

She held out her hand, and he shook it, gently.

"You're nice," she repeated, the smile a little bigger.

"You drawing?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just… practising," she said, with a frown. "I can't get what I want out of my head."

"Oh."

"I like your hat. Can I wear it?"

"'Course," he took his hat off and popped it on her head. It was far too big for her and covered her eyes; she reminded him of Selphie at her bounciest and most childlike. Very sweet.

She giggled. "I can't see," and pushed it back a little, peeking out at him, distinctly child-like. "That's better."

"You look very cute. So, how are they treating you here?"

"Okay. They're nice to me." She turned her attention back to the pad on her knees. "I wish I could draw. I want to get it out of my head."

He felt a tingle run up his spine. "What, sweetheart? What do you want out of your head?"

"The thing. The thing I can't… It's hiding."

~Ether?~

~Sniper.~

~Can we go in her head without her knowing?~

~No. It could alarm. Hurt. Unless she allowed.~

~Can you sense anything? Has she got any of her memories back?~

~I cannot tell.~

~Okay. Thanks.~

She'd gone back to her scribbling, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth slightly in concentration.

"Risha…"

"Who's Risha?"

"Oh, sorry, sweetheart. I meant you."

"I'm not Risha."

"No, okay. Sweetheart, I was going to ask you… I have an idea. I could look, in your head. See if I can help you get … whatever it is, out. What do you think about that?"

"Can you?" she looked at him with wide eyes. "Can you see in people's heads?"

"Well, yes. Kind of. But only if it's okay with you?"

"And then could I draw properly?"

"I'm not sure. You might. You might not. Do you think it's worth a try?"

She nodded, slowly. "It won't hurt, will it?"

Irvine shook his head. "No. I'll hold your hands the whole time, and if you want me to stop, just squeeze, okay? And I'll stop."

"Okay," she smiled at him, conspiratorially. "I like you. You're nice."

He couldn't help but smile back. "I like you, too." He took her hands in his, and looked into her deep brown eyes. They seemed huge, and were slightly flecked with green.

~Ether.~

He felt Ether slip into her ravaged mind, and followed.

* * * * * * *

Quistis was curled up in a ball under the covers. The air around her was hot, and stale; her body trembled.

Sometime soon, Squall would be calling her. She'd have to get up. Otherwise he'd think something was wrong, and there would be questions she didn't want to answer.

Somehow, she had to get up.

~Pandemonia?~

~I wait to serve, Instructor.~

The name felt like a knife through her heart. Another reminder of her failure, her weakness.

~Be with me.~

The Guardian slipped smoothly into junction, and Quistis immediately started to feel better. At least she could stop her body shaking now.

~You are distressed.~

~I'm alright.~

~Let me heal you.~

~No, I… I'm fine, I…~

Tears filled her eyes again, she felt every muscle tense.

~You need to heal.~

~Alright. Yes. Please.~

~Full-life. Curaga.~

The magic flowed through Quistis' veins, and in one movement she threw off the covers, gulping in fresh, cool air. With quivering fingers she wrenched open the drawer of her nightstand and grappled the stopper out of a vial of elixir, drinking the precious liquid down so fast she spilled some, multicoloured rivulets dribbling down her chin and splashing on her naked breasts.

She sighed deeply, not noticing the fizzy tingle against her skin. She was just relieved that maybe, just maybe, she'd found a way to get through whatever was left of the day.

* * * * * * *

Irvine pulled back with Ether, and refocused on Risha's trusting eyes.

"Are you OK?" he whispered.

"Yes. I feel fine. It… kind of tickled."

He smiled. "I'm glad. Now, how about trying another drawing?"

"I'm a bit tired. But I'll try."

She carefully flipped over her pad to a clean sheet of paper, and started to draw.

Irvine watched her carefully, as an image formed in front of his eyes.

She was drawing the sea, the beach nearest the Fire Caverns, with considerable skill. She sketched the cave, the surf… and finally, she drew a young woman. He recognised her. It was Risha. She was drawing herself.

"Is that what's been bothering you, sweetheart?" he asked. "Is that you?"

"Oh, no," she replied. "Not me. It's Risha." She turned the picture towards him brightly, seeking approval.

"It's beautiful, sweetheart." He took her hand, kissed it, making sure she couldn't pick up any of the worry or anger he felt. "You're so clever. Is that better?"

She nodded. "Much. It's not hiding now. I'll draw more soon. I'm tired, though. Might sleep."

"That's a good idea." He gently took the pad and pencil from her, and put them on the bedside table as she snuggled back under her blankets.

She handed him his hat, with a yawn; he took it, and caught her hand, noticing something he hadn't spotted before.

"Sweetheart, what are these marks? On your wrist?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. They itch, sometimes. It's alright, though. Nurse said they were an allergy. Nothing to worry about. Thank you for the chocolate."

"You're welcome," he fussed with her blankets a bit, kissed the top of her head.

It was a bit like when he used to look after Selphie, in the orphanage.

"Come see me again?" Her eyes were fluttering closed.

"Of course. And next time I'll bring comics as well as chocolate. I promise."

"You really know how to treat a girl," she murmured with a smile, and drifted off to sleep.

Irvine quietly slipped out of the Infirmary, and headed for his room. The corridors were crowded with cadets spilling out of class; it must be the end of the day already. He caught himself looking for Frila, and yet was actually surprised when he saw her. She was leaning against a locker, talking to a young man with spiky hair, ends tipped with pink. He was looking at her in a way that Irvine, for some reason, found irritating.

He walked past as fast as he could, hoping she wouldn't see him, but he still managed to catch a snippet of their conversation.

"Sorry, I can't go for coffee today after all," she was saying, "Commander Leonhart wants a report and I haven't even started it yet."

"Well, tomorrow maybe? If you're not to important to hang out with the likes of me anymore?"

She laughed. "Yeah, sure, tomorrow. I'm not important, he just likes giving me truckloads of work. I think it's just to keep me out of trouble."

Her voice faded as Irvine turned the corner, a smile creeping onto his lips.

* * * * * * *

"I think you'd better start from the beginning." Squall leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest, waiting.

Xu paused, took a drink from the glass of water she held in her hand. "It was the first batch of crystals, the ones that Edea sent us," she said, her voice so quiet Rinoa found she had to strain to hear her properly. "They were sent to me to organise a preliminary analysis on." She was concentrating hard, apparently fighting to get the words out, her eyes full of pain. "I found something… unexpected. A Guardian. Trapped in one of the crystals." She took a deep breath.

"Bane," said Squall.

Xu nodded. "I drew it," she whispered. "I'd never heard of a Guardian in an inanimate object like that before. I was really intrigued."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" asked Rinoa.

"I did," said Xu. "I told … I … can't…" she took another gulp of water. "I told Ch..Ch.."

"Chet?" Rinoa guessed.

Xu nodded.

Squall waited, perfectly still.

"In the end he… he… drew… it from me," she stammered. "He wouldn't let me tell anyone. He did exp… eriments. He took over the whole crystal research programme and kept it secret."

"Which is why we don't know anything," said Squall in a slow monotone. "He never reported to you, did he?"

"No. I've been trying to find anything, any evidence he might have left… but it's all gone, and I can't.. can't…" her face was screwed up with the effort of speaking, as if every word caused her pain. Rinoa watched her with concern, took her hand.

"So," there was a dangerous edge to Squall's voice now, "instead of finding out more about the crystals, and this Guardian, so we can be ready for the Dia, like Edea asked us to, we've actually been supporting a research programme for our enemy? And you sent Selphie and Rinoa to infiltrate - why? Did you know that's where Chet had gone?"

Xu didn't say anything, just gulping.

"Xu, answer me." Squall ignored Rinoa's glare.

"No, I didn't know he was missing, then. And when I realised, I was fairly sure what had happened, that he'd defected. I tried to contact him, but his pager wouldn't work, nobody's would that night; I think he'd blocked the signal so we couldn't follow him.… I tried to get you to cancel the mission, but I couldn't… not without you finding out what I'd done…"

"Why didn't you just tell us?" asked Rinoa, gently.

"At first, Chet threatened me," Xu whispered. "He said if I told anyone, he'd let Bane into my head."

"Like he did to Risha," said Squall.

Xu winced at the mention of Risha's name, nodded. "And then, later… I tried to confront him… I woke up in my own room. I lost a whole night. And after that, I couldn't think about it. Every time I did, it felt horrible. It still does. I can't tell you… everything… it's taken me a whole day to be able to tell you this, and it feels like there's a knife twisting in my gut and I can't think, and it hurts so much…" Rinoa caught her as she slumped forwards, sobbing now, "… but I have to tell you, because you have to save Selphie…"

Squall didn't move.

"Is there anything else you aren't telling us?" he said.

Xu shook her head. "I… can't… hurts too much…."

"But you must have known, if you'd told us right at the beginning, that we'd have protected you from Bane. And Chet," he persisted.

She said nothing, her face buried in Rinoa's hair.

"Do you think Chet's keeping Selphie prisoner?" asked Squall. "Or has he killed her?"

"I don't know," said Xu, wretched. "I didn't want her to go, I told her it was dangerous but I couldn't tell her why… I'm so sorry…"

"You could have told me," said Squall.

"You don't understand, it hurt, and then I couldn't and…"

"You were weak. There must have been a way. You could at least have told me about the time lapse. Or hinted. Or something."

"Squall, leave her alone," Rinoa hissed, "can't you see she already blames herself? It's Selphie that we lost, for fuck's sake, her lover! She's suffering enough."

Squall's expression didn't change. "I understand why you want to resign, Xu, and I can't take any more chances. But I'd rather you don't go anywhere. Consider yourself on suspension with full pay until we get this sorted out. And don't ever, ever lie to me again. However much it hurts. Do you understand?"

Xu nodded, not raising her head.

"We'll get that block removed from your head. Then we can talk again."

"What? Can you do that? How…"

He turned towards the door.

"Make sure she's okay, Rinoa. I've got some phone calls to make."

Leaving an astonished Rinoa with Xu tormented and trembling in her arms, he left.

* * * * * * *

Irvine was struggling with his report for Squall. They'd learned a lot, he realised, when he came to write it all down. But there was still so much they didn't know. Like how to rescue Selphie, for one.

Selphie.

He opened the drawer in his desk, and pulled out the bracelet he'd never found time to mend. Not on purpose, exactly, he'd really meant to keep his promise and repair it. But somehow he never seemed to find the time. Maybe, he admitted to himself, because he liked having something of hers.

But it wasn't his, really. He didn't have the right.

He pulled out pliers and a reel of silver wire, and started to work.

It didn't take long; just a few new links, a new spring in the clasp, and it was good as new.

There you go, 'Elph. Now all I have to do is find you to give it back.

His door chimed; he swiftly popped the bracelet and tools back in his drawer.

"Come in. It's open."

It was Frila, still in uniform from classes, bag slung over one shoulder, a slim folder in one hand. Her skirt was very short, he noticed, and one sock was falling down. "Hey," she said, brightly. "Squall said I should give this to you."

He took the report from her with a smile. "Thanks," he said. "Now I can make mine look longer. Anything exciting?"

She shrugged. "Hard to say, Squall was a bit… brief when it came to instructions. But whatever this Bane is, Oceanus doesn't like it. Not one bit. It wants vengeance. Big time."

"Vengeance?"

"Uhuh. For whatever Bane did to Risha. I think it takes it a bit personally. It.. um.. it wants me to ask Squall if it can join in the Bane-slaying fun. I put that in the report, do you think that's OK? I was a bit worried Squall would think I was being kind of… pushy?"

Irvine shook his head. "No, he wouldn't think that." He put her report on his desk, noticing the little monogram she'd drawn on the front. The tree and serpent. Suddenly he really didn't want her to go. "Do you have to be anywhere in a hurry? Would you like a coffee or anything?"

"Er, no thanks. But I can stay for a bit." She threw herself on the bed and kicked off her sneakers, stretching luxuriously. "You have a good bed," she said. "The cadet ones are so tiny…"

"I remember," he said, with a grin. "See, there are some very good reasons to work hard and graduate. You get a nice bed to not have time to be in."

"I could just steal yours," she said, with a yawn. "Hyne, I'm tired."

"Squall pushing you too hard?" he sat on the bed next to her.

"Not really. Well, yes, he's pushing me hard. But it's good. I get bored too quick, that's my trouble. No chance of that with him in charge."

"I know what you mean. Man, I hate paperwork." He lay back on the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose with finger and thumb, suddenly noticing how tired he was.

"Are you OK?"

He nodded, eyes closed. "Just tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Selphie?"

"Yeah. We were up all night waiting for Rinoa and Quistis to come back."

"You ought to try and get some sleep."

He shook his head. "Squall wants to talk to me about something. Whenever he gets round to it."

He felt a cool hand on his forehead, stroking. It felt good. Very, very good.

"You should junction Ether again, then. That'll help. So they tell me."

"Yeah. I'd forgotten," he slipped Ether back into junction. "You've been paying attention to your GF classes this time, then?"

"Oh yes. I'm a model cadet," she smiled at him. "Better?"

He nodded. "Not just because of Ether," he said, quietly.

She looked at him, warmth in her blue-green eyes, stroking his hair now, playing with the bangs around his face. He slowly lifted a hand and pulled off the ribbon that held her hair back, watching the dark copper waves fall around her pale skin.

She dipped her head and kissed him softly, just brushing his lips with hers, until he slipped his hand round the back of her neck and pulled her into a deeper kiss, teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue. She let her body sink onto his, pressing her breasts against him; his hand fell naturally on her thigh, automatically sweeping along the toned muscle, stopping just short of the tiny skirt.

Finally, she came up for air.

"You're a great kisser," she said.

"So are you. But I shouldn't be…"

"Oh, hush," she said, and started kissing him again.

Ether purred in his head, and any resistance he may have contemplated just plain melted away. Her lips felt so good, and her skin, and her hair… damn, but she smelt good, too, fresh and outdoorsy; and she was warm and made the loveliest little noise in her throat, halfway between a growl and a purr…

There was a buzzing noise. His door chime.

"Are you there, Irvine? It's Squall."

"Fuck," Irvine hissed as they sprang apart, as guiltily as if Squall had actually been in the room. "Yes man, come in…" He leapt off the bed, smoothing a hand over his hair, as the door opened.

"Hey, Irvine… oh. Frila. Hey."

"Hi, Squall… er… Commander, um," she attempted a salute, a little half-heartedly. Irvine found it somewhat gratifying that she seemed as flustered as he felt.

"Squall will do, off duty," he said, a slight frown on his face. "I need to talk to Captain Kinneas alone, if that's alright?"

"Of course," she located her sneakers and shoved them on her feet, picked up her bag. Unable to find her ribbon with any kind of subtlety, she pushed her hair behind her ears, and scrambled off the bed. "I'll see you, um… tomorrow morning. Um. Both of you, er. Well. Bye then."

She bolted.

Squall watched her go, then turned to Irvine, the expression on his face frighteningly serious. Even for Squall. Shit. Now what?

"I've arranged a briefing for five o'clock," said Squall, quietly. "I wanted to talk to you first."

"About the briefing?" asked Irvine hopefully.

Squall shook his head.

"What, then?"

The air between them seemed suddenly still. Squall looked at him for a long time, sliver-grey eyes glinting menacingly through his dark bangs.

"I think you know what," he said.

Looking into those familiar eyes with a sinking heart, Irvine realised that he did.

********************************************************

To be continued…