Is There More?
Author: Knowhere
Chapter 14: Agitation
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Nothing
AN: I had the pleasure of meeting Keiko Agena (Lane Kim) at the Festival of Books yesterday at UCLA, and after I got her to autograph my tee-shirt and my pictures with her, I must say that the hour and a half of inch by inch traffic was totally worth it. It was one of the best days.
Summary: AU. College life is a journey of ups and downs; are Rory and Jess ready to take on what life is about to throw at them including a prospect of a new relationship, or will they choose the path of friendship like they did years ago? Literati.
"Jess, have you seen my really comfy black sneakers?!" I frantically search for all the items that I need for our weekend in Stars Hallow as time ticks on, making it closer to the time that we must make the train. True to Gilmore style, I didn't pack until the last minute so clothes and other vacation necessities are strewn about all over my room.
"Jess have you seen them?!" I yell again thinking that he didn't hear me. Contrary to my packing habits, Jess just came home an hour ago and sporadically threw in some clothes and a toothbrush in a small duffel and headed to the couch to watch re-runs of the A-Team. Needless to say that not only am I fully stressed right now, but I'm also kinda jealous that he can just not care about what he packs.
"No I haven't seen them." I hear his muffled reply and I peer around the corner to see what he's up to and I'm greeted by the sight of a couch potato that's munching on some chips while being deeply engaged by the antics of the characters on TV.
I lift an eyebrow even though he's not looking at me while I breathlessly ask, "Well then, can you help me look for them?" I place my hands on my hips becoming increasingly annoyed at his behavior as if he'd spontaneously combust if his eyes left the TV set.
"Um, can I help you when commercials come on? I haven't seen this one." Bits of chip crumbs fall from the bowl as he leans forward to examine the screen closer.
"Jess, they're all re-runs. You can always catch that episode later; we have to catch the train in an hour." Right now, I feel like I'm talking to a child. Doesn't he realize that the show will always be there, but the train won't just wait for two missing passengers?
Looking down at his watch, he absentmindedly replies, "Oh yeah I almost forgot about the time. Well, you'd better hurry up with the packing." Finally glancing at me he inquires, "Are you done packing yet?"
My mouth hangs slightly open at that ridiculous question. Ever since he got home, the only thing I've been doing is packing; and granted the facts that for the last five minutes I've been asking him to help me. "Jess, have you not heard anything I've said?" I can't help the sarcasm and condescending tone that slowly creeps into my voice.
He tilts his head and furrows his forehead while replying, "What's that supposed to mean? I've been listening to you. You asked where your shoes where, but how would I know? You have like, a million pairs, just wear some other ones."
"No, I want to wear the black comfy ones. I just asked if you would help me; that isn't too much to ask, is it?"
He grabs the remote and pushes the mute button. It's about time he actually gave me his attention to our conversation. Exasperated he shoots back, "I just came home and I wanted to watch a little TV. I don't understand you; why must you be so stubborn with a simple thing like shoes?"
"It's not about wearing another pair of shoes, Jess. The point is that I'm stressed and all I want is your help but you're too busy with your show to actually notice that your girlfriend needs assistance." By now I'm getting thoroughly angry at how insincere he can be.
"Damn it Rory; don't take me on a guilt trip here. It's not like you're the only one here who can get stressed, you know? Don't make it seem like I don't notice your feelings." He stands up and gestures with his hands to make a point. I think we've just progressed into our first real 'couple fight.'
I quickly brush the hair out of my face while I try to compose my thoughts. But I'm too late, words spew out of my mouth before I have the chance to think. "It's not a guilt trip; and don't even start acting like you're the victim, Jess. I know you can get stressed too; but it doesn't seem like you're doing a very good job of noticing what's going on around you." I glance at the clock and I see that we only have enough time to get to the train station. "Great, that's just great. Well, it looks like I can't pack a single thing because instead of helping me, you just couldn't get your ass off the couch."
Swiftly grabbing his bag he sneers, "Just grab the next train to Hartford. It's not like there's only one train going into the city. You always have to blow everything out of proportions, don't you?"
"What is wrong with you? It's like you're speaking with complete disregard for me."
"Never mind; I'll just see you in Stars Hallow." He slams the door behind him and I can't help but feel completely helpless. I don't feel inadequate in the way that I feel like I can't do anything by myself but I feel powerless to change my current situation.
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The little bell jingles above me signaling my entrance into the diminutive diner. Looks are thrown my way as patrons scrutinize me as the outsider of the town. I see some familiar faces but they don't seem to recognize me as quickly as I do them. I feel so grown up and changed that it scares me to think that I've somewhat left behind my past of a small-town girl. It's like I'm a different woman walking into this diner while I left years ago as an innocent girl seeking the world. However, in the midst of temporary confusion, I see two recognizable faces. Luke smiles broadly and for a second it throws me off balance. Like his nephew, Luke seldom smiles with such enthusiasm. Seeing him grin at me so genuinely only makes me remember that I'm in a fight with Jess. I wonder where he is.
"Rory, it's nice to see you." Luke comes over and awkwardly approaches me. Seeing his discomfort, I take the lead and wrap my arms around him for a hug.
"It's nice to see you too Luke." I smile but I can tell that he has picked up on my lack of usual fervor. It looks as if he's about to ask me about it but he's cut off by a shout.
"Little Gilmore! Ahh, come here you." Mom tries to get up as quickly as possible, but seeing as how she's having trouble, I dash to her side and hug her instead. Being pregnant has sure caught up with her ability to move quickly.
"Hey Mom, how are you doing?"
"Oh, you know how it is. I guess I'm doing okay, but this nazi over there won't let me have any coffee or caffeine." She pouts and points over to Luke who gives her a glare for bringing up the subject of coffee. I smile seeing how happy they both are underneath their faux banter.
Luke places a mug of coffee in front of me and swats Mom's hand away as she tries to sneak the coffee pot away from his hands. After Luke turns his back she tries to steal some of mine, but he notices before Mom could actually take a sip. Settling into the stool, Mom and I talk about what's happening in town and about what's going on with us. It's nice to feel like I'm young again with Mom at my side and right now I'm just concentrating on our conversation and not about my own troubles.
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After discussing the new scandalous topic of Kirk's new found passion, painting nudes, Mom gently asks me what happened to Jess. I don't exactly want to talk about it, but now I wonder exactly where he is. He must have got on the train before me and he should have already arrived an hour before me. I hope he's actually in town and not just wandering somewhere on the streets of New York. I didn't want to fight with Jess but I just couldn't help saying all of those things.
"We kinda had a fight." I grab my cup and take a sip while Mom looks on with sympathetic eyes.
"What happened, Hon?"
"It's so stupid; now that I think about it, we shouldn't have even spent more than five minutes talking about it." Now I can't help but feel that we actually had a real fight and not just a temporary blow-out. "Actually Mom, do you mind if I go out for a while? I need to clear my head."
"Sure, okay. I'll just get us a movie and I'll see you at home."
I thinly smile back and reply, "Thanks Mom."
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Walking around the center of town I know that there's only one place where Jess would be if he actually is here—the bridge. It holds so many memories for us and though he'd rarely admit it because he thought it was too cliché, I like to think of the bridge as our own special place. I quickly trudge the dirt path that leads to the bridge and before I get to it, I see his hunched form dangling his legs over the edge swinging back and forth as if he were trying to kick the bridge. He looks so sullen, like the typical Jess I would have thought of back when we were teens. He takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh while running his hands through his hair.
I gently step onto the wooden ground and silently sit by him. I don't know what to say that it looks like he doesn't either. I try to secretly peer at his eyes to try to gauge exactly how mad he is but his eyes are guarded, cloudy with emotion. Time passes around us but it doesn't feel like it affects us. I feel like we're sitting in the conjunction of time and space while I listen to the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves from the trees above.
He takes a breath in and when he lets it out I hear him whisper, "I'm sorry."
I release my breath that I didn't realize I was holding and I take his hand into mine while voicing similar sediments, "Me too."
We don't say anything else and I don't feel like we need to. I scoot closer to him and as the sun begins to fall in front of our eyes, while casting a reflection of light across the water, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. We still don't utter another word but I think we're done with our disagreement. Darkness creeps into the sky and as the moon begins her watch over us we head on back to the house hand in hand.
AN: Um, drop me a line, would ya?