Original characters, world and backstory belong to Squaresoft, lucky folks.
This chapter is supposed to be very smutty. If you want the full NC-17 version with all the smut the author intended, it's on my website, www.scribblemoose.co.uk The version below has been censored in line with ffnet policy because I started this story with the intention of doing that, and it doesn't seem fair to change now…
Thanks to Gwen for beta-ing despite sucky finals ::huggles::
Still welcoming the feedback, by the way, here or by e-mail (fanfic@scribblemoose.co.uk)
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Chapter 33 - Secrets
Rinoa slept soundly, her head resting on Squall's chest, his arm wound securely around her waist, and dreamed.
She was in her own room, lying on the patchwork bedspread, reading a book. It was summer, the sun poured through the windows and warmed her skin. She heard the door to the bathroom open and Squall and Irvine came through, laughing, damp from the shower; Irvine was holding Squall's fingertips loosely in his hand. They paused at the foot of the bed and kissed each other, running hands slowly over each others' bodies; she would have thought they'd forgotten she was there if it hadn't been for the way Irvine winked at her over Squall's shoulder. They were putting on a show for her, she realised, knowing how she loved to watch them touch and pleasure each other.
Irvine whispered in Squall's ear, and Squall crawled on the bed on all fours, right next to Rinoa but apparently oblivious to her presence. She ran her eyes over his body, enjoying the pale skin and rippling muscle and sinew, the hard lines of his hip bones and shoulders, his tight buttocks and the slender dip of his waist. She breathed the scent of him, shower gel and shampoo, with the faintest hint of male musk that made her instantly wet between the legs. She longed to touch him, but knew it was against the rules, that she was only allowed to watch. So Irvine became her fingers and lips and tongue; she devoured the sight of him kissing Squall, running his hands along his lean flesh, softly whipping his back with long rust-coloured hair, licking down from his neck to the base of his spine.
Eventually they invited her to join her, and they licked and writhed and fucked until they collapsed in a happy heap, and all she could hear was the ocean.
* * * * * * *
"Oh fuck… oh fuck… oh fuck…" Irvine woke to the sound of his own voice, and realised he wasn't dreaming any more.
He kept his eyes closed just in case, while he got his bearings.
Not Rinoa, or Squall. This was real, and almost as horny as the dream.
He opened one eye cautiously, instantly reassured by the river of red hair that was spread over his belly.
"Hotshot?" he murmured, opening the other eye just to be sure.
"Hmmmmng."
"Oh fuck."
"Hmmngggnm."
"Oh fuck, that's so good…"
Gods, but she was a fast learner.
Waking up like this, on top of the dreams, was enough that his body screamed for rapid release, and he didn't fight it.
"Hotshot… coming…"
When the bliss had receded, he sat up and gathered her in his arms with a soft cry, licking her face, kissing her and holding her tight, all gratitude and lust and love.
She started to giggle. "That tickles!" He was licking her eyelashes.
"Gotta get you all clean, Hotshot," he said.
She squealed as he extended his licking to other, perfectly clean areas for a moment, before hugging her to him again, kissing her sticky hair.
"Morning," she murmured happily into his chest.
"Is it?" he said. "I hadn't noticed. Something was distracting me."
"Well, you were all hard, and it seemed a pity to waste it." She traced little circles around one of his nipples, watching his skin twitch a bit in response. "I think you were dreaming."
Irvine blinked. "Yeah," he said. "Maybe. Gods, that felt good."
"You feel better? You were shattered last night."
Irvine considered for a moment. "Yes, I do. What time is it?"
"Nearly eight. We slept for nearly ten hours. Is Ether OK?"
Irvine checked the corner of his mind where his Guardians lived. "Yeah, he's back."
"Well then," Frila flicked her tongue out to assault the nipple she'd been teasing. "Why don't you junction him, and we'll make sure he's up to full strength before we go to work?"
Irvine laughed. "Okay, if you insist," he said. "You sure you don't mind the company?"
"Oh no," she grinned, moving gracefully to straddle his hips, pushing him down onto his back. "There's nothing wrong with the odd threesome, so long as I get you to myself every now and then."
For a minute Irvine thought she'd read his dreams; then he realised what she meant.
"After waking me up like that," he growled, "you can have anything you want."
Frila grinned broadly as she sank her body down, impaling herself smoothly on his cock in one slick movement.
"This'll do," she said, "for now. Junction."
Irvine obediently did so, and Ether's song filled their heads.
~Magnificent.~
* * * * * * *
Squall woke with a start. His first thought was to check his belly for evidence, but it was dry and warm, his cock was hard and his balls still full. Painfully full.
He breathed out a sigh of relief. For some reason he would have felt a little shy of explaining to Rinoa that although he'd been too exhausted to even think of making love to her last night, he was perfectly capable of having a wet dream. And gods, what a dream. His eyes slid closed again, and his hand crept to his aching sex.
"Squall, you awake, hun?"
He jumped and guiltily let go of his erection. "Yes!" he squeaked, defensively.
Rinoa laughed. "It's okay," she said. "I've been watching you."
He blinked at her.
"I don't mind you touching yourself," she said, huskily. "In fact, it's kind of a turn-on."
A smile tugged at the corner of Squall's mouth. "Really?"
"Oh yeah."
"Oh." He gazed at her, wide eyed and still bleary with sleep, as she pulled the covers back from his naked body.
She trailed her fingers across his chest and down his stomach; tentatively he started to stroke himself again, noticing how her face lit up as she watched him. "You're the sexiest thing I've ever seen," she said.
"Sexier than Irvine?" It was said in the confident mood of his dream; but for an instant he was worried she might think him jealous.
"Oh yeah," she said, honestly. "Because you don't know it."
There was something in that. He'd always attracted girls, without even trying, but he'd never understood exactly why. He thought of himself as skinny and awkward, not to mention bad tempered and pre-occupied with work most of the time. Not a bit like Irvine, with his easy manner and golden skin, copper hair and thick, hard cock sliding easily inside him…
Damn, but that dream had been hot.
He forced his eyes open. Rinoa was still watching him as he steadily fucked his hand, running her tongue slowly over her lips.
"Oh, gods, Rin…"
She turned, and saw the need in his eyes.
"I want to be inside you," he said. "Please?"
She crawled up the bed on her hands and knees to kiss him. "How d'you want me?" she breathed against his lips.
"Like that," he panted. "Just like that."
* * * * * * *
"Oh gods," he wheezed. "Oh gods."
"Yeah," she said, a foolish grin spreading across her face. "That was… just… wow."
He reached out to take her hand, needing the contact but unable to move his body.
They lay for a while in happy silence, getting their breath back.
"Need a shower," he said, eventually. "You?"
"Oh yes," said Rinoa. "Only I can't move."
"Me neither. What time is it?"
"Morning."
"Oh. Good."
Eventually they gathered enough energy to drag still-shaking limbs to the shower, and slid contentedly into each others' arms under the hot spray. Squall let Rinoa wash his hair, and he soaped her body, and by the time she got around to soaping his he was half-erect again; they kissed softly and stroked each other with slick fingers until they came, she shuddering against his palm, he pressing his hardness into the softness of her belly. They held each other and let the water rinse them clean.
* * * * * * *
"Enough, woman! Leave me alone!"
"Ooh, have I worn out the legendary Irvine Kinneas?" she smirked at him.
"No." He grinned at her. "But I'm very, very hungry."
"Hm. You might have a point there." She pulled her hand out from under the thin sheet that covered them here and there. Most of the blankets had fled for the safety to the floor long ago, but the soft cotton felt good wrapped around their tangled limbs. "So how do we handle the cafeteria? Do I have to come in ten minutes after you, or salute you, or should I hang around you like a groupie just in case anyone thinks me ignoring you is too suspicious?"
He kissed the top of her head. "Doesn't matter. It must be nearly nine by now, there won't be anyone hanging around to see us leave here together, and anyway, Garden should have more important things on its mind right now rather than gossiping."
"I don't want to get you into trouble."
"You won't. No groping me in the middle of the cafeteria, though."
"I'll try and remember that," she said with a grin. "Do you think I should go to classes today?"
"Well, you've already been to mine."
She laughed. Gods, he loved to hear her laugh.
"Dincht probably expects me at GF training," she said, climbing over his sated body and hopping off the bed. "What are you doing this morning?"
Irvine considered his options for a moment, watching Frila rummaging in her bag.
"Damn," she muttered, pulling out her sketch pad, journal, and a few items of laundry, "I left my shampoo at Esthar."
"Use mine," said Irvine generously. "I think I'll go see Risha first," he said.
"Risha?"
"Yeah, you remember, the girl who lost her memory? Chet's fault?"
"Of course I do." She tapped the side of her head. "Oceanus, remember? They were junctioned a lot before Chet drove it out. Hence the whole redemption kick?" Frila threw her towel over one shoulder. " It must have been awful, first losing Oceanus and then Bane doing… whatever it did. She was something else, you know, really bright."
"So I heard. She choked her exams, though."
"She had a lot of shit at home. Her father was unbelievably strict. And it can't have been easy being ahead of everyone her own age. I don't think she was very happy."
"Poor kid."
"Is there anything… left?"
Irvine shook his head. "Ether says not. She can still do stuff." He frowned. "She was drawing last I saw her. Quite well, too."
Frila frowned. "I don't remember her being any good at art," she said. "She was more the sporty type, and a demon at cards."
"Hm." Irvine seemed lost in thought; Frila smiled, her artist's eye freezing the image of him in her mind. He was spread out amidst the swathes of white linen, his hair copper-bright in the morning sun, long limbs golden, a far away look in his warm violet eyes. Beautiful.
Once she was sure she'd remember it forever, she crept away to the shower and left him to his thoughts.
* * * * * * *
"It's nearly nine, we ought to get dressed."
"Yeah."
Neither of them moved.
Squall leaned contentedly against the headboard of the bed, his back and shoulders covered in a large, soft towel, cuddling Rinoa to his front. His soft, sated cock brushed contentedly against her butt, and her damp hair tickled his nose. She leaned back comfortably against him, stroking the arm that held her around her middle with slow, gentle fingers. Angelo lay curled up next to them, his head on Rinoa's knee, his tail thumping occasionally. It felt right, and for now he could forget about duty and responsibility, and just enjoy feeling in love and wanted; feelings he'd enjoyed all too briefly in his life before, and wanted so, so much.
"I thought after we remembered, the dreams would stop," she said softly.
"So did I," he agreed. "Or at least I wondered. But, y'know… I don't think they're anything to do with what actually happened, at least not like that. When Ether blocked my mind about what happened between me and Irvine the other week, it said it was to keep the three of us together. It seemed to think if I remembered, I'd be pissed off at him, and it didn't like that idea at all. And you know the other night in Esthar, when we had the nightmares, and before that, back here… it only happens when we're not getting along, you, me, Irvine."
"And when we are getting along, we have nice dreams," said Rinoa, squirming happily at the memory.
"Yeah." He gave her a little squeeze. "Very. It's to keep us together, I think. Ether thinks we're stronger together than we are as individuals, so…"
"You don't think it's just because he wants the three of us to act out the dreams so it can have a nice snack?"
Squall smiled. "Maybe."
The thought hung between them for a moment.
"Would you want to?" Rinoa spoke just a fraction before Squall was about to ask the same thing.
"No," said Squall. "The dreams are nice, but… I love you. You're more than enough for me. I'd trust Irvine with my life, but…"
"Me too. I mean, Irvine's very hot, and everything…"
"Mmm," said Squall.
"… and he's my best friend, after you. But I'm not in love with him, like I am with you."
"Exactly." Squall nuzzled her hair.
"So what is it Ether wants the three of us together for?"
"I don't know," said Squall. "To be honest, I've had more urgent things to worry about: Bane and the Dia and the crystals."
"Do you think they'll attack again tonight?"
"Probably. What I don't know is where. It should take them a while to get that tunnel back in use, and we'll be guarding it twenty four hours, so they'd be stupid to try it. My guess is they'll go for Trabia tonight; there are so many cave entrances around there we could never guard them all. We have to be ready to move in a hurry, maybe even bring Trabia here."
"I wonder what they want?"
Squall shrugged. "No-one knows. They just seem to be heading straight for the Gardens. It's almost as if they're just out to pick a fight."
"Well, we'll give 'em one," said Rinoa. "I know what to do now. I'll meditate this afternoon and get as much magic together as I can. And you ought to find someone who can use Yojan, it's got good fire stuff. No point me keeping it when I can make my own."
"Yeah, maybe Quistis would find it useful. So long as it's not knocked out." His eyes flickered to the clock. "I wonder what the lab found out about those crystals…"
Rinoa could feel his body tensing against her back, and knew their moment of peace had passed.
"Okay, Commander," she said, with a sigh. "Let's get back to work."
* * * * * * *
The Infirmary was teeming with SeeDs when Irvine arrived. Last night's injured were being treated or discharged by a team of nurses under Dr Kadowaki's keen supervision. He noticed Seifer, leaning against a wall, looking somehow out of place in uniform. Irvine couldn't remember ever having seen Seifer in uniform before.
"Kinneas," he nodded as Irvine walked past.
Irvine ignored him.
"Come to find yourself a pretty nurse to fuck?"
Irvine stopped and looked back; there seemed to be little of the repentant Seifer from last night in the look he was giving him. Just the usual bitter arrogance. Although… Irvine found himself looking straight into Seifer's pale blue eyes and saw a sudden flash of pain under his customary mocking expression. Maybe Seifer was human after all. Edea clearly thought so.
"You know me," he said, not smiling. "Guns and women."
If Seifer was grateful to be greeted by something other than outright hostility for once, he didn't show it.
"Already worn out the cadet?"
Irvine took a step back towards him, keeping his face sniper-neutral. "What cadet?" He has to be bluffing, he told himself. There's no way he could know about Frila.
"The hot little redhead you left with last night."
"Alfyrd? She was on our team is all. Sorry to disappoint, Seifer, but I don't go for little girls." Sorry, Hotshot.
"She didn't look all that little to me."
"Maybe you should try for her yourself, then." I'd really like to see you try, Almasy. She'll kick your ass nearly as hard as Squall did.
"Nah, not my type." The smirk on Seifer's face grew. "Besides, it would be just too bad if someone found out and got me thrown out, don'tcha think?"
Irvine desperately tried to remember what, if anything, Seifer could have seen the previous night. Surely there was nothing, he'd been so careful…
"I can't say I'd be all that disappointed to see you go," said Irvine, with considerable feeling. "Now, as much as I'm enjoying our little chat, I have someone to visit."
Seifer's face darkened. "Don't let me stop you," he said. "Just a friendly warning, is all."
Irvine struggled to keep his fist at his side, aching to pummel Seifer into the ground there and then.
~Sniper.~
He took a deep breath and tried his best to let the anger go, for Ether's sake.
Walk away. Just walk away. He's only fishing. There's no way he could know.
"I don't need your warnings, Almasy."
"Really? That's interesting. You see, if it was me I would have been a bit more careful about things. Her room-mate was real worried about her this morning, you know. Seems she never made it back to her room last night."
Shit.
"Really?" I thought Kellon was away on field duty… unless they got called back because of the war while we were away… of course they would have… shit, shit , shit…
"Don't believe me, huh? Don't think the rules apply to someone as heroic as you? Well, you might want to ask Quistis about that. "
"Quistis? What's Quistis got to do with anything?"
"Ask her," said Seifer. "I dare you."
They locked gazes for a minute, the air between them almost crackling with animosity. Irvine could suddenly understand why Squall had always found Seifer's dares so irresistible.
"You're talking complete bullshit, Almasy."
"Am I? Well, you can ignore me then, I guess. I'm sure you won't get caught."
"I won't get caught because I'm not doing anything wrong."
"Really? So if Leonhart were to find out that his prize cadet was out after curfew it wouldn't look bad for you, then?" There was a twinkle of pure joy in Seifer's eyes as he leaned forward a little, his face closer to Irvine's than Irvine cared for. "Only I'd hate for to get you into trouble."
"Squall's the last person who's going to listen to your lies," hissed Irvine.
"Fair comment. But I still have contacts in the Disciplinary Committee. I'd wanted to rejoin, you know, but if I'm not going to be around after all, I ought to report Red's little transgression straight away. Of course, if Leonhart were to get some good advice from someone he trusts, and decide to keep me on… well, there would be no rush, would there? I could maybe consider whether it would be worth her losing her career over one little night of indiscretion. It's just that I make mistakes sometimes, if I have to decide in a hurry, and right now it looks like I'm gonna be back in FH by daybreak tomorrow…"
"Too right you are. And don't expect me to come see you off," said Irvine. "Say what you like. No-one'll believe you. We're fighting a war, Almasy. Nobody's got time for your crap."
"Of course not," he smirked. "My mistake."
Don't hit him. Don't hit him. Don't hit him…
"Irvy! What you doing here.. oh!"
Irvine felt his heart jump at the sound of Selphie's voice. "Hey, Seffie. What're you doing here? Are you okay?"
"Oh, yes, I'm fine. They just need to check me over, make sure I'm okay to return to duty properly." She smiled at him, but she looked pale and agitated.
"Are you sure you're alright? You seem a little…"
"Ether," she almost spat the name out. "You're junctioned. Still squicks me."
Irvine let the junction go, calling Siren instead. "Sorry," he said. "I've got to get used to that. I wasn't expecting to bump into you here."
"No, my problem." The colour returned to her face, and the sparkle to her eyes. "What you talking to this loser for?"
Irvine glanced at Seifer. "I forget," he said. "I'm sure it wasn't important."
Seifer just grinned.
Selphie caught sight of a nurse signalling to her over Irvine's shoulder. "Looks like it's my turn to get prodded. I'll see you later."
"Yeah." Irvine wanted to ask her about Xu, and the memories, but he was all too aware of Seifer's rapt attention, and decided to leave it for later. He gave Selphie a quick hug and waited until she'd disappeared off to the examination area.
"She turned you down, then," came Seifer's voice. "Funny, I always thought you two would end up together. No wonder you're reduced to chasing…"
Irvine pushed Seifer up against the wall in one fluid movement, and fastened his hand around his already marked throat.
"If you don't shut the fuck up," he hissed, "Squall won't find enough of you left to make it worth his while kicking you out of here."
Seifer spluttered for breath, but there was victory in his eyes.
"Touched a nerve, did I?" he gasped.
Irvine was drawing his arm back to aim a blow when he felt himself being pulled back.
"Stop it, for goodness' sake." Dr Kadowaki sounded tired and angry; Irvine came quickly back to his senses with a surge of guilt, and let Seifer go. "What on earth do the pair of you think you're playing at?"
"I'm sorry," Irvine said. "I was…"
She silenced him with a look. "I don't want to hear it," she said. "If you're here to visit, go visit. If you're not, go away. Seifer Almasy, come with me. I want to make sure that concussion's gone before you go back on active duty. And if I catch either of you brawling in my Infirmary again you'll answer to your Commander. Am I understood?"
They both nodded agreement, refusing to look each other in the eye, and turned to go their separate ways.
"I meant it, about Trepe," said Seifer under his breath as he left. "She should know."
Irvine crossed to the window and looked out at the apple blossom blowing across the little garden outside the Infirmary. Breathing deeply, he did his best to banish the bad temper Seifer had instilled in him. He'd forgotten how well Seifer knew how to press people's buttons, even his.
One thought stayed with him, though, as his anger had faded. Why Quistis? Surely if he were to confess to Quistis, or if she were to find out, then it would be game over as far as Seifer was concerned; he can't have forgotten what a stickler she was for regulations. And if he gave himself up, then Seifer wouldn't have any power over him anymore, and Irvine was absolutely certain that it was power Seifer was after.
He should warn Squall, probably, that Seifer knew. Or thought he knew. Damn, that wouldn't go down well. It was only yesterday he'd promised to be careful, and after Squall had been so decent about it all, and specifically said that Quistis shouldn't find out…
Something clicked in Irvine's mind, and his eyes widened.
He could hardly believe he was thinking this. But…
What if Quistis and Squall had… and what if Seifer had found out? Or, more likely still, what if Seifer had put Squall up to it? Irvine remembered their half-drunken conversation on the night of Zell's birthday: Squall had good as confessed to embarking on sexual adventures because Seifer dared him. What if screwing his instructor had come under that category? No wonder he'd been so understanding about Irvine and Frila, and it would explain why Quistis had been fired from her Instructor's post without ever saying why…
Maybe he should talk to Quistis, after all.
* * * * * * *
"Are those the crystal reports? Any ideas?"
Laguna looked at Squall over the top of the sheaf of papers he was reading with a helpless grin. "Reports aren't my thing," he confessed. "Usually Kiros…"
Squall took the reports from him with a disapproving frown. "Let me see." He rustled through the papers, eyes swiftly skimming the contents.
"Good morning, by the way," said Laguna.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, 'morning," said Squall, already absorbed in his reading. "Ah! Here it is… um… oh."
"Useful?" asked Laguna, leaning casually back in his chair.
"I don't know," confessed Squall. "Algebra was never my strong point."
"Me neither. Quisty said the labs would get a summary to us by lunchtime."
Squall's frown deepened for a second, before his expression softened and he smiled. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to imply…"
"Yep, you did," said Laguna, happily. "It's okay. I know you're brighter than me. You get it from your mother."
The faintest of shadows crossed Squall's face.
"She'd be proud of you," his father told him, softly.
"I hope so," Squall murmured. He shuffled the papers into a neat stack, and put them carefully back on his desk.
"If you've got a minute," said Laguna, "I'd like to talk with you."
"Sure." Squall sat opposite Laguna and flicked through the pile of mail in his in-tray.
"It's about Quistis."
Squall looked up, surprised. "What about her? Is she okay?"
"I'm not sure."
"What's wrong? She seemed fine yesterday."
"She would do," said Laguna. "Above all else, Quistis is a professional. She'd never let you down."
"Of course. I can depend on Quisty better than anyone. So what's up?"
Laguna paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully.
"Did she seem to be behaving oddly at all? Before you went to Esthar, I mean. Especially after Selphie went missing?"
Squall thought back over the past few weeks, months even. He couldn't actually remember having seen that much of her at all…
He frowned. "I didn't notice anything," he said. "Why?"
"I think she's been depressed. Possibly for a long time."
"Depressed?" The crystals? Of course, the memory change. That kind of interference with the brain could have all sorts of side effects… "You think it could be part of the effects of the crystals? Or Bane, or… I could get Irvine to check her mind, and…"
"No," said Laguna, with a slight smile. "From what I can tell, it's not anything out of the ordinary. She's just depressed, Squall. She's lonely, and undervalued, and she's doing a job she hates."
Squall looked confused, his heart sinking. "What? She's never said anything."
Laguna raised and eyebrow. "And this is from Mr Whatever? Since when did not saying anything mean you weren't hurting?"
"But… that's me. I'm screwed up, everyone knows that." Squall gave his father a wry grin. "But Quistis… she's the sanest of all of us. She knows we all think the world of her, and if she wasn't happy in her job, she only had to tell me. Fuck, after all she did for this stupid world, she could have any job she wanted. But she always said she was fine, she's good at the strategic stuff, and she works so hard…"
"It didn't occur to you that what she's done, she's done out of duty?"
"Duty? But…"
"You need to talk to her."
Squall looked down at the desk, tracing the grain in the wood with one finger.
"I'm crap at talking to people. You ask Rinoa. I really suck at it."
"If you're going to lead these people, Squall, you need to learn."
There was an edge of authority in Laguna's voice, just enough to remind Squall that the advice came from professional experience as well fatherly concern.
Squall fought to stop himself just glaring at Laguna and telling him it was none of his business. "I know," he admitted, instead. "I just don't pick up stuff. How do you know all this? About Quistis? Has she said anything to you?"
It was obvious, thought Laguna. You only had to look at her. "Yes, eventually she did. Once I asked. I might not be any good at this," he prodded the pile of reports on the desk between them with a savage finger, "but I do know when people are hurting, and it was all over her face."
"I didn't know," said Squall, amazed. "Poor Quisty. And she was just being brave?"
Laguna nodded.
"So what… if it wasn't magical, if it wasn't the enemy… what was it? What happened to make her unhappy?"
"Things don't always have one big cause, when it comes to people. I don't know, is the real answer. I don't think she does, either, come to think of it. But I thought you should be aware of it, because she's not as tough as she looks right now, and I can see we're not headed towards a summer of cultural sharing with our new tentacled friends."
"No. I… I need help, here," Squall admitted. "I'll try to talk to her, but… what do I say?"
"You'll work it out," said Laguna. "Try listening to her first. Then be nice. You can do it."
"I wouldn't be so sure," said Squall, only half-joking. "Will you keep an eye on her for me, too? If she's already opened up to you…"
Laguna smiled. "Of course. Actually, I…"
They were interrupted by trill of Squall's phone.
"That'll be Edea, about Seifer," Squall said. "I don't suppose you could help me out with that one, too?"
Laguna laughed. "Oh no," he said, leaning back casually in his chair once more. "Not Seifer. Not if I can help it."
"Thanks," said Squall sarcastically, raising the phone to his ear. "Edea? Hi. Fine… thanks… yeah, about Seifer… oh. But…."
His face fell.
Laguna busied himself with the meaningless paperwork in front of him, not wanting to eavesdrop but aware nonetheless that the conversation wasn't going Squall's way.
It looked as if they might be stuck with Seifer Almasy after all.
* * * * * * *
"Irvine!"
She caught him off balance as she flew at him, flinging thin arms around his neck with a squeal of joy. He hugged her back with a big smile.
"Did you bring chocolate again?" She looked at him with huge, excited eyes.
"Of course," he said. "As if I'd forget."
She sat on the bed, patting the space next to her. "You've been away," she observed. "The nurses said. On a mission."
"That's right." Irvine sat next to her and handed her a large paper bag. She was dressed in jeans and a pink T-shirt, her hair tied back with a bit of pink fluff, pink sneakers on her feet.
"Oh, comics," she cooed in delight. "And pencils! Oh, thank you!"
"They're special Estharian pencils," said Irvine. "Some of them glow in the dark."
"I love them! Oh, you're so kind. I remember, you got rid of that thing in my mind, and now I'm getting better all the time. I understand more, and I'm not sad now. Can I wear your hat again?"
He plonked it on her head. "Anytime, kid." He glanced at the wall behind them; it was covered in all kinds of drawings. He recognised the one she'd started the last time he was here: the beach, Risha, the sea with one huge wave cresting over the sand.
"I wanted to ask you something," she beamed happily at him. "When you came in my head, you had someone with you?"
Irvine thought for a moment. "Oh, you mean my Guardian? That's Ether, sweetheart. It helped me to get rid of the thing in your head. You know what a Guardian is?"
"Oh yes! The nurses told me. They said you both really helped Risha, before..." She looked sad, for a moment. "I liked him," she added. "Will you say thank you for me?"
"Of course. Princess, when you say we helped Risha…"
"Hmmm?"
"You know some people think you are Risha? I mean, you sure look a lot like her, for one thing."
"Yes," she whispered. "But Risha's not here anymore."
Irvine took her hand gently in his. So small, so fragile.
"If you're not Risha, sweetheart… who are you?"
"Oh!" She looked up at him with excited, glittering eyes. "That's what I wanted to tell you! I remembered! I'm Sanke!"
Irvine felt his stomach lurch. He'd hoped she would be alright. She looked so happy, and he thought perhaps without the mind block, she'd remember who she really was, and even if she never got her memory back, she would still be alright.
He wondered if he'd done this to her, if any of the times he and Ether had put her to sleep they had inadvertently hurt her, or maybe he had…
He noticed the mark on her wrist. About the size of a strawberry, puckered slightly like a scar…
His blood ran cold.
"It's a nice name, isn't it? Don't you think so? Are you alright, Irvine?"
He forced a smile. "It's a lovely name, sweetheart. How did you get those marks?"
"I told you last time, silly. It's an allergy. Don't know what to. It won't fade, but I don't mind. At least it's not anywhere that really shows…"
Irvine raised her wrist to his lips and kissed the scar. "It's pretty," he said. "It give you an air of mystery. That's a very good thing for a girl to have."
She beamed at him. "Really?"
"Really. Look, I'm sorry, Princess, I…"
"Sanke, remember? I have a name now, it's Sanke!"
He smiled. "I'm sorry. Sanke. It's a very pretty name, too." Actually, it kind of suited her, he thought. "I've just remembered something really important I have to do. But I'll come back real soon."
"Oh," she looked disappointed. "I thought maybe you could stay and talk a while. You're nice."
"I'll be back later today, I promise. I'll help you escape and we can go for a walk. I bet I can get past the nurses. How does that sound?"
"Ooh, that would be good! Okay then. But don't be long. I'll save some chocolate for you."
"Thank you Prin… Sanke." He gave her hand a little squeeze, and reclaimed his hat.
He was careful not to let her see his fury, holding it in his guts in a tight little ball as he left her cubicle. He walked casually down the corridor, past the window that looked out over the garden, past the wall where he'd pinned Seifer, past the crowd of SeeDs in the waiting area. He spotted Selphie, just about to leave.
"Selphie!" She turned to him with a smile.
"Hey, Irvy, do you want lunch? I…"
"Where's Xu?"
"What?"
"Where's Xu?" he repeated, the anger uncoiling inside of him and plain in his eyes.
"She's in the lab. Have you been to see Risha?"
He felt her hand on his arm, looked down and caught a glimpse of the mark, just above one breast. The scar from the crystal. The same.
"Let go of me, Selphie." He tried to push past her, but she blocked his way.
"No. We need to talk."
"It can wait. Selphie, stop it. Let me by."
"It's not what you think."
He glared at her with blazing eyes. "What?"
"Xu didn't mean to hurt Risha. She was trying to help her."
He searched her vivid green eyes for a moment. "How do you mean, trying to help her?"
Her hand was still firm on his arm, but they both relaxed a little.
"Not here," said Selphie. "Come to the Quad with me. I'll explain to you there."
Irvine paused for a moment. The desire to go to the lab, find Xu and demand the truth out of her was still strong. But Selphie waited, determination all over her pretty little face. She knew him too well to think he could hold that kind of temper for long.
"Okay," he said. "I'll listen."
* * * * * * *
To Irvine's surprise, Squall was waiting for them in the Quad, sitting on a bench with Lionheart by his side. He didn't look happy, although he managed a rare smile as he saw them approach.
"Hey," he said. "I heard you had a bit of an argument with Almasy in the Infirmary."
"Oh. Sorry," said Irvine, hoping Squall wasn't about to ask for details. "He annoyed me."
Squall sighed. "Looks like we're going to have to get used to it," he said. "Edea was very… persuasive."
Irvine winced. "Really? Not the old 'don't use that tone of voice with me, I remember when you were in short trousers' kind of persuasion?"
"Almost," said Squall. "She managed to make me feel like I was being petty, holding a little thing like him trying to kill us and take over the world as an evil sidekick against him."
"So we're stuck with him?"
"Yeah." Squall stroked the engraving on Lionheart's blade affectionately. "But we don't have to be nice to him, though. She agreed he needs a kick up the arse."
"Well, that's comforting."
"Hmm." Squall looked up at Selphie, blinking in the bright noonday sun. "What was it, Selph? I'm supposed to be taking Rinoa a sandwich around now."
Selphie grinned. "That's cute," she said. "You're taking care of her!"
"So?" snapped Squall, but a blush spread across his cheeks. "She's meditating. She's not supposed to leave the forest."
"Don't be a grump," said Selphie. "I think it's lovely."
"Seffie," said Irvine, "I don't have all day, either."
Her face grew more serious. "Alright. After Xu explained about the memories yesterday, she fessed up about something else as well."
"So she admits to changing the past?" said Irvine.
"Yes, but Bane was involved too, it wasn't her idea. I'll explain that later. There's something else I need to tell you, before you go off the deep end about Risha."
"Risha?" Squall raised an eyebrow. "What's she got to do with it?"
"Someone got in her head," said Irvine. "She has marks on her wrists, like Selphie has from Chet. And they weren't there when we first took her to the Infirmary. Xu did something to her, didn't she?"
"Yes," said Selphie, "but it's not what you think."
"Really?" Irivine's voice hardened as the anger welled up inside him again. "She didn't use the crystals to wipe Risha's fucking memory, then?"
"Oh," Selphie gasped, surprised. "Well, yes. But…"
"She didn't get it, either," said Irvine. "She told me Risha was better off, without her memory. You remember, Squall? She said it was better than the fear."
Squall frowned. "Yeah," he said, "I…"
"She was right," said Selphie. "Believe me, I know."
"She killed her," said Irvine. "I could've helped."
"No. You couldn't."
They glared at each other in wordless argument for a moment, before Squall interjected: "was this anything to do with Bane?"
"No," said Selphie, dragging her eyes away from Irvine's. "Chet and Bane had gone by then. She honestly thought it was the right thing to do, and I agree with her. I saw people like Risha, in Chet's labs, people like me, only… they hadn't had the strength to keep themselves sane. If you hadn't found me, I would have been like that, with that thing in my head and… I would've rather died. There's no way back, for them, Irvine."
"Ether learned how to get rid of it. I got it out of your head," he said, reasonably. "I can get whatever's left out of Xu's now, if she'll let me. I could've got it out of Risha's."
"It's not the same," said Selphie, gently. "You can get rid of the echo, but the fear's still there. Once it's been there, once you've felt it… you got rid of Bane, and I'm grateful for that. But you didn't get rid of my fear of Bane. I did."
Irvine closed his eyes. "It's still not right," he said. "She had no right."
"You couldn't have done anything," said Selphie, gently. "You tried your best. Xu told me what you did, how great you were. If Xu hadn't stepped in you would have ended up hurting yourself and… your Guardian. You couldn't keep her asleep forever. Bane would've taken over more and more, until…"
"She's right," said Squall. "It was hurting you. You did your best, man."
Irvine slumped on the bench, his face in his hands. "I promised her," he said. "I promised I'd help."
Selphie looked helplessly at Squall. He met her gaze and scooted closer to Irvine.
"I know." He put a tentative arm around his friend's shoulders. "It's okay. She's still alive, at least. She might get her memory back, one day, we don't know for certain…"
"Well…" said Selphie.
They both looked up at her.
"There is something there," said Irvine. "She can communicate fine, and she can draw and write, and she does remember the beach, because she can draw it, so…"
"Exactly," said Selphie. "She shouldn't be able to. Xu doesn't understand what's happened, and neither do the medical team. She should be just… a shell. She should be able to learn again, sometimes there's brain damage but the Doc said not so... But she's learning too fast, faster all the time. And she shouldn't have any memory of anything before Xu cleared her mind. Yet she's been talking about the beach, and the sea, and Risha, all the time."
Squall frowned. "So, she might be alright after all?"
Irvine shook her head. "She's not recovering as Risha. She seems to think she's someone else. The way she was talking this morning it was as if she'd known Risha, but Risha was gone… I never did psych, but could she maybe be reinventing herself?"
Squall checked his watch. "Ask the Doc to keep looking into it, man. I've got to go."
"That's right," said Selphie. "Can't let her lose her concentration through hunger, eh?"
Squall chose to ignore that comment. "Look after yourselves. I'm going to need everyone back on top form tonight."
Selphie snaked her arm through Irvine's.
"Lunch?" she said, hopefully, her big green eyes searching his, checking he wasn't mad at her.
"Sounds good," he said, with a grin.
* * * * * * *
Xu pushed her glasses up on top of her head, rubbing her tired eyes with tense fists. The characters on the screen were blurring together, she'd been working for so long. It can't have been later than three in the morning when she'd crept out of Selphie's bed and come here to work, and now it was gone noon. But she couldn't stop.
She had to make it better. She'd let too many people down. She'd thought she'd lost Selphie, and this was a second chance she didn't feel she even deserved, her one shot at proving she could be trusted again. She was determined not to mess it up.
There was so little to work with. If only she could find a hundredth of what Chet had done before he went, they would be so much closer. Not on Bane, even, any part of his crystal research, or…
She opened her eyes, blinked.
What about his work at Esthar? Squall's report from their mission said that he'd worked with Odine on Gemini Pandora and Guardian cloning, that there were publications. Maybe something… anything… would give her a clue as to how he came to work with the Dia…
She put her glasses back on her nose and started to type, logging swiftly into Odine's databanks, racking her brains to remember passwords and security codes. Finally she came to the files on Gemini, and Chet's experiments.
Yes!
She read quickly, not noticing as first one hour passed, then another. Her assistant brought her a sandwich and a pot of tea, but they remained untouched on the tray. She kept reading, file after file of Chet and Odine's experiments. As time went on Odine's input lessened, which meant that the reports were easier to read, at least.
But they finished too soon; his last entry in the lab's research log was to say he was going to Balamb Garden to take up a teaching post and continue his research where there were more Guardians available for study. That much, she knew. She scrolled back through the log, disappointed that she'd found nothing they didn't already know, except a million and one reasons why cloning Guardians didn't work. It wasn't even good science; Chet's methods seemed to have become increasingly sloppy and his experiments were at best unreliable. Of course, she couldn't have expected much; Squall would have had Kiros look through these files already. It was foolish to think that just because she'd worked with the man and been terrorised by him, she might find something others had missed.
She was tired, skim reading, rapidly losing heart, and she very nearly missed it herself after all. Her finger was poised to close the screen down when she spotted it. A short entry, just a few days before Chet's departure from Esthar. Ironically enough, she'd nearly missed it because she couldn't read it: the letters were jumbled nonsense. A code.
Tiredness forgotten, her fingers danced over her keyboard as she worked to decipher the meaningless text. It didn't take long. Chet had obviously never anticipated that anyone would be bothered to look this hard.
One final keystroke, and the short sentence of seemingly random characters transformed into a pages of eloquent prose. She read hungrily, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration.
At last, she'd found what she was looking for.