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Memories 34 - Whispers
Irvine leaned back in his chair, his hat tipped far enough back that he could still see out, but shading his eyes so that people couldn't really tell whether he was awake or asleep. His usual briefings pose.
Squall was speaking in his authoritative, commander-voice, all of his considerable charisma in force, which ensured that the audience of senior ranking SeeDs were listening with rapt attention. Irvine was already committed to follow Squall's lead wherever it might take him, so he allowed himself the luxury of letting his attention drift away from the motivational speech. Instead he scanned the faces of his friends and colleagues, remembering other times, other speeches, other missions. It was a huge credit to Squall that so many of them were still there to be lectured to. Irvine wondered if Squall had ever taken the time to think how well he'd protected and nurtured Balamb Garden during his two short years as Commander.
Of course, he couldn't have done it without Quistis.
He watched her as she sat by Squall's side, looking up at him and following his every word, her deep blue eyes drinking it all in, her mouth set in a determined line. It wasn't difficult to imagine her being in love with Squall. Irvine found himself considering how it might have been for the two of them, instructor and student; Quisty falling for the undeniable charms of a young Squall Leonhart, unable to match her natural love of all things regulatory with her unquenchable desire for that hot body, for all that leather and inscrutability. And for Squall's part, emotionally crippled as he was back then, taking a dare from Seifer, another turn in the endless game the two of them had played out through their adolescent rivalry.
Poor Quistis. No wonder she got so depressed.
He was disturbed from his reflection by the unexpected swish of the door opening just behind him. He felt Selphie come to life at his side, suddenly alert, and he knew it was Xu who'd just come in, without having to look.
She leaned over to whisper in Selphie's ear; Selphie's eyes went bright and she squealed, having to be silenced by Xu's gentle hand over her mouth. Then Xu was scribbling something on Selphie's notepad that Irvine couldn't quite see. He could see Xu's fingers, though, gently ruffling Selphie's hair at her neck, just how she liked it.
He looked away.
Selphie ripped Xu's note off her pad and made her way not very surreptitiously to the front of the briefing hall, where she plonked it in front of Quistis. There was a lot of whispering, so much so that Squall stopped somewhere around "our mission is to protect the people of Balamb" and glared at the two of them.
Quistis tugged his arm until he lowered his head, and whispered something in his ear. He looked suddenly excited, pleased even, and looked up to where Xu stood, next to Selphie's empty seat.
"I'm sorry," he said, not looking sorry at all. "We have new information. I'll get back to you as soon as I've got the details. This briefing will reconvene, please go back to your usual duties and await further instructions."
There was a general hubub and some surprised milling about as the room cleared. Squall signalled for Irvine and Xu to join him and the others at the front of the hall. His eyes were glinting silver-blue with excitement; Irvine could almost taste the adrenaline pumping through his friend's body.
"We think we know how the crystals work," he explained, as the door shut behind the last of their fellow SeeDs. "Xu's managed to find some of Chet's notes."
Irvine wasn't the sort of person who got fired up by science, but he listened dutifully as Xu explained what she'd found. He noticed the old shine of hope back in her eyes, the pride on Selphie's face; he could sense Squall's relief, Quistis' triumph, Zell's impatient excitement. He locked eyes briefly with Laguna, who didn't seem that interested either; they shared a smile.
"If Chet was right," Squall was saying in his calm, low voice, "and we've every reason to believe he was, the crystals really are part of the Dia. They enter them in their liquid form as parasites, solidify and eventually graft themselves to the Dians' tissue. They get energy from their hosts, and in return they give them the means by which to stun their prey."
"The music!" said Selphie, clasping her hands excitedly in front of her. "That's why the GFs get knocked out!"
"And some people," added Xu. "In Chet's experiments, the natural liquid form of the crystals can cause susceptible individuals to go into a kind of trance. That's how come it can be used alongside the crystals for… mind control." A shadow passed her face at this, and Irvine looked at his feet, fighting a sudden surge of anger as he recalled the scars on Risha's wrists.
"Why was Chet interested in all this?" Quistis asked. "Was he trying to take over the world before he came here, then? Odine and Kiros don't seem to think so."
"That's the really exciting part," said Xu, her eyes gleaming. "At least, it doesn't really affect the war," she shot Squall an apologetic look, "but as a scientific theory… He was trying to find a way of creating new Guardians. We know he tried cloning, and he had some interesting findings from his experiments with Gemini, but with the Dians he'd developed a new idea. The relationship between the Dians and their crystals is like a junction, you see. The Dians take in the crystal parasites when they're both very young, and because they grow together they develop in harmony. You know how close you get to a Guardian when you're junctioned a lot, and fight with them and everything? Well, for the Dians, the junctions with the crystals becomes permanent, until they're one hybrid being. A remarkably simple idea, really, but it's the chemical relationship the Dia have with the crystals that Chet thought might work for GF synthesis. It's sort of like grafting in plants. The only thing is, like the Dians and their crystals, the junction would probably become permanent, and almost certainly exclusive."
"That's disgusting," said Zell. "That's… horrible."
"Yes," Xu nodded. "And dangerous, Chet recognised that. He came here to study junctions in more detail, to try and find a way of testing his theory without imposing any permanent junctions."
"Hyne," said Selphie. "What if… oh gods, Xu, what if you junctioned something permanently and it turned out like Bane?"
A hush fell on the group of them as they each contemplated what it would be like, to have a Guardian always in their heads.
"Even if the Guardian wasn't harmful, the memory loss would be catastrophic," said Quistis.
"And it would be… you wouldn't ever be able to be by yourself," said Zell. "It would know everything."
Irvine smiled to himself. He was pretty sure that Ether already did know everything about him. But he shared Zell's concern, just the same. There had been too many times, especially recently, when he really hadn't wanted Ether around.
"But he hasn't actually done it?" Selphie looked at Xu, begging for reassurance as much as anything. "It was just a theory, right?"
"Yes," said Xu. "It would have taken years of research before he would have been ready. But we need to remember Bane." Xu saw Selphie's face fall, and reached out to squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but Bane could have made things happen faster. We don't know what Chet was working on while he was here. We do know that it involved the Dia. And there's another thing. Until Chet came here we were hardly even aware of the Dians. They were just another monster, subterranean and mostly harmless as far as humans are concerned. Certainly not capable of starting a war. They only became organised recently."
"A few months ago," said Squall. "After…"
"… Chet got Bane," Xu finished for him. "I think Bane saw an opportunity in Chet to get the Dian's all fired up and wanting world domination."
"Why?" Quistis asked. "What's in it for Bane?"
"Conflict," said Irvine. "It just wants us all mad at each other. Right, Xu?"
He glanced at her from under his hat; she was chewing her lower lip, and her eyes flickered nervously to his. "It feeds on fear and conflict," she said quietly. "If it wants more, it makes you go pick a fight."
"Oh," said Zell, "you mean like Ether makes Irvine fuck people."
Irvine snorted indignance, while the others laughed, as much to relieve the tension of all these new discoveries as anything else. "He does not make me do things." Irvine glowered at Zell. "I'm quite capable of fucking on my own, thank you."
Even Squall started laughing at that.
Irvine tipped his hat back to give Zell the full benefit of his glare.
"Irvine's right," said Xu, softly. "I think Chet is leading the Dians to war under Bane's influence. And maybe, in a twisted kind of way, because he's bitter that he couldn't do the research he wanted. That Odine wouldn't take his theories seriously. I don't know."
Laguna's phone rang; he wandered off to the corner of the room to take the call.
"The point is," Selphie was saying, practically jumping up and down with excitement, "we know how it works! We know that it's the crystals that emit the sound, and we know of one Guardian it doesn't effect. There's probably others. And I was able to block it out to some extent, in Chet's lab. All we need to do is find out how that works and hey presto!" she bounced. "We can shut them up, get Rinoa and the fire Guardians in there and burn them to gloopy ashes! Isn't that right, Xu?"
"Yes, Selphie," said Xu quiety. "Although I'm not sure about the gloopy ashes. But that's our proposal, Squall. What do you think?"
Squall was practically grinning. "Take whatever you need," he said. "Frila will help you with Oceanus. Report back as soon as you've got something."
"Right!" beamed Selphie, grasping Xu's hand in hers. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go to your lab and find the ultimate weapon. Woohoo!"
Irvine couldn't help but smile.
Laguna returned as Selphie raced out of the hall, dragging a somewhat bemused Xu in her wake.
"Trabia are here," he said, "Galbadia are expected within the hour. Are you sure about this, Squall? It leaves the ordinary people of Galbadia and Trabia very exposed, both Gardens coming here."
Squall shook his head. "Not if Xu's right," he said. "And I think she is. There's been no attacks on civilians. Whether it's that Chet's got a grudge, or that Bane knows we'll give him a better fight, I don't know. But they'll come here, you can bank on it. And our best chance right now is to overwhelm them with numbers."
Laguna shrugged. "Okay. We'd best go meet the new arrivals, anyhow," he said. "Should we have a welcome committee?"
Squall nodded. "Yep. Then we can talk about revising our plans for tonight. We reconvene in…" he checked his watch, "make it two hours. That takes us to just a little before sundown, and hopefully Xu and Selphie will have something for us by then. You coming, Quisty? I'd like a word with you, if you've got time?"
He turned to Quistis with a rare smile. She looked a little surprised, but pleased. "Sure," she said. "I'll just finish up here and get the change of plan announced, and I'll be right with you."
"Thanks," said Squall. "Thanks to all of you. I knew we'd come through."
"We haven't beaten them yet," Laguna reminded him.
"No," Squall conceded. "But at least we've improved the odds."
Irvine didn't leave with the others. He busied himself gathering up papers while Quistis made a few rapid calls, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Eventually she clicked her phone shut.
"You still here, Irvine?" she smiled at him.
"Yeah," he said. "I was wondering if we could have a little chat?"
"Of course. What's up?"
"Well, it's something Seifer told me."
Quistis stared at him, all the blood draining from her face.
"Oh shit," she said.
* * * * * * *
Irvine filled a glass with water from the jug on the dais, and passed it to a grateful Quistis.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Quistis gave him a watery smile. "It's alright. What did he say?"
"Nothing, really. He… kind of hinted… this isn't a surprise to you, is it?"
"Not really." She looked sadly at him. "He'd already sort of… warned me he would. I suppose you must hate me."
Irvine shook his head. "Of course not, Quisty. We all make mistakes. I mean, I've made mistakes. Too." I'm involved with a cadet myself, right now. Damn. Why can't I just come out and say it?
"Yes, but… I hope he doesn't tell anyone else. I couldn't bear it. Oh gods." She buried her face in her hands. "Squall will completely freak."
So he was right, then. Squall, you old dog.
"When did… um… was this anything to do with why you lost your job, Quisty?"
She nodded. "We got caught in the training centre, the day of his field exam in Dollet. Cid had no choice but to fire me."
Of course. Squall had mentioned, once, that Quistis had come on to him after the Graduation ball, after she'd lost her job. He'd said he'd turned her down; hadn't mentioned he was the one who'd got her demoted in the first place. What a bastard. He just did it on a dare from Seifer and then abandoned her.
"Weren't you mad at him?" he asked.
"Oh yeah," she said. "You bet. He was always a difficult bastard, though. I mean, I'd been his Instructor all that time… he was just so fucking attractive. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. I still can't."
"Don't be too hard on yourself, Quisty. Everyone makes mistakes." Speaking of which…
"I suppose everyone's going to know now. Seifer won't be happy until he's spread it all round Garden."
"Well, not necessarily, Quisty. I could have a little chat with him and point out that if he tells anyone else, he'll be doing it at the cost of his limbs."
She gave him a brave little smile, and patted him on the thigh.
"Thanks Irvine. You're a good friend."
"Anyway, as soon as he spills he loses his secret. I think his little game is to blackmail his way to SeeD. So it's not in his interests to tell anyone until…"
"That's true," pondered Quistis with a frown. "I wonder why he told you?"
"Er… ah." Damn. Irvine looked helplessly at her.
He was saved by the swoosh of the door.
Laguna was standing there, smiling. "We were wondering where you'd got to," he said. "Hey, Quisty, are you alright?"
She was already nodding, her lips parted to reassure him, when she looked up and met his concerned gaze, and her expression changed. "I…"
Irvine looked from Quistis to Laguna and back to Quistis again.
"I'll get going," he said. "I'll tell them you'll be there in a minute, alright?"
"No, Irvine, you don't have to…" Quistis started.
Irvine silenced her with a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay," he said, in a low voice. "You think you should tell Laguna before Seifer…?"
She nodded.
"I think it's for the best," said Irvine. "In the circumstances and all. I'll see you later."
"Thanks," she said, sounding a little shaky.
Irvine left her with a smile, and made good his escape.
* * * * * * *
Squall paced his office nervously, wishing Rinoa was there to give him some advice. He'd spent the past half hour with Laguna talking to Trabian SeeDs, all of whom seemed very young and idealistic, and worryingly cheerful about risking their lives on the battlefield. Laguna had told him Quistis was feeling a bit low, so he knew this was the right time to take his father's advice, to let her know he valued her, to tell her if she was worried about anything she could drop in for a chat and…
He slumped down in the big leather chair. Who was he kidding?
She knocked once, briskly, and came in.
"Squall?"
She looked nervous. Damn, had he got so scary that even Quistis was frightened of him?
"Hi Quisty. Come in. You okay?"
"Fine, thanks. You wanted to talk to me about something?"
"Yeah." He got up again, and resumed his pacing. "Thing is… well… I was talking to Laguna, and he said you…"
"Laguna?" There was an edge of anger to her voice that took Squall completely by surprise.
"Yeah. He said he'd talked to you and…"
"He told you?!"
"Well… yes. Why, shouldn't he have?" asked Squall, helplessly.
"No! He fucking shouldn't! He promised, I made him promise, he… fuck, how dare he…"
"Hang on, Quistis. He had your own interests at heart. He didn't mean to…"
"He's your father, not mine! He has no right to tell you things, not… not those kind of things."
"Quis, I…" Squall was entirely lost, and not a little relieved when the door opened and Irvine came in.
"Hi guys," he was saying, "sorry to barge in… oh." He looked around, realising he was obviously interrupting some kind of argument, and turned to leave again. "Sorry, I'll…"
"No!" yelled Squall, desperately. "Hang on, Irvine. I need to… er…"
"You may as well stay," mumbled Quistis. "You know already. Everybody fucking knows."
Squall looked pleadingly at Irvine.
"It's between you two, really," said Irvine. "I don't want to intrude."
"Well, it's not just between us, is it?" said Quistis. "It'll be all over Garden soon. I may as well resign now and be done with it."
"Surely there's no need for that," said Irvine. "I mean, it's no-one else's business really, is it?"
"What isn't?" asked Squall, with some trepidation.
"You know," said Irvine. "The training centre."
Squall blinked. "What about the training centre?"
"You. Quisty. The training centre. The day you graduated, when you… you know, the two of you… Seifer told…" Irvine tailed off, taking in the stares of blank incomprehension that Squall and Quistis were sending in his direction.
"When we what, exactly?" asked Squall.
"You know," said Irvine uncertainly. "When you…"
Quistis arched an eyebrow.
"Oh."
Squall sighed. "Please, someone tell me what's going on."
Quistis had turned to Irvine. "You idiot," she said. "It wasn't Squall. It was Seifer!"
"Seifer?" said Squall, weakly.
"Seifer?!" said Irvine, in complete disbelief.
Quistis started to massage her aching temples. "I got fired as an instructor because Cid caught me shagging Seifer in the training centre. After the Dollet mission. You remember, Squall, he and his posse ran off in the car, leaving you guys to walk? We'd arranged to meet. It had been going on for a while, although looking back I think he was just trying to improve his grades." There were tears in her eyes. "It was completely humiliating. Not just that Cid walked in on me being fucked into the training centre wall by Seifer Almasy. Losing my job. Being demoted. Losing everything I'd worked so hard for. And to cap it all, he just laughed…"
Squall was closest to her; he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away, bursting into tears. "I don't want your pity!" she spluttered. "I didn't want you to know, ever, and I can't believe Laguna… I trusted him, I thought… oh gods. You shouldn't see me like this, I have to… excuse me."
She ran from the room, sobbing, pushing Squall away when he tried to stop her.
"Let her go, man," said Irvine, wisely. "We can talk to her again when she's had a cry."
Squall blinked.
"Well, I stuffed that up even more than usual," he said.
"Stuffed what up, exactly?" Irvine didn't know whether he was more relieved that Squall hadn't been quite such a bastard to Quistis as he'd thought, or shocked that Quistis had had any kind of a … relationship... with Seifer.
"Cheering up Quisty," said Squall. He looked a little numb. "Did she really say…"
"Seifer. Hmm. Yes, I really think she did. Laguna hadn't told you, then?"
"No! He just said she'd been depressed, and I should talk to her." He frowned. "I was trying to do the right thing," he said, plaintively.
"I think it's been a bit of a… misunderstanding," said Irvine carefully.
The frown was back on Squall's face. "You thought it was me," he said.
"Ah. Um. Well…"
"You thought I'd had an affair with Quistis and got her sacked."
"I kind of… jumped to a conclusion," said Irvine sheepishly. "I'm sorry, man. I just.. well, I mean, Seifer, who'd've thought it, eh?"
Squall looked at him for a moment.
And burst out laughing.
Twice in one day, thought Irvine. Aren't I the comedian, all of a sudden. But he grinned, just the same. Seeing Squall laugh was a rare and wonderful thing, after all.
"I'm sorry," gasped Squall. "It's just… poor Quistis. Nobody knew anything. And she…"
"I think it's for the best," said Irvine. "It's an awful secret for her to have had all this time."
"Yeah," said Squall, between helpless giggles. "No, really," his laughter faded as he suddenly thought of Laguna. "She thinks Laguna told me, and he didn't. He really didn't. He was only looking out for her, and she's going to be mad at him and… gods, I must tell her." He pulled out his phone and dialled frantically. "Shit, she's already on the line. Damn."
"It's alright," said Irvine. "I'll go find her. It's the least I can do, after… well, it's the least I can do."
"Thanks," said Squall. "I need to go fetch Rinoa from the forest now if I'm going to be back in time to meet Galbadia. I owe you one."
Irvine tipped his hat, and raced after Quistis.
* * * * * * *
Laguna's door slid open, and he gave Quistis a warm smile.
She slapped him smartly round the face.
"Ow!" He yelled. "What was that for?"
"You told Squall." There was huge hurt in her eyes, he realised, betrayal.
"Told Squall what?"
"About me and Seifer."
"No I didn't! What d'you mean? I wouldn't do that."
"You promised. Dammit, Laguna I thought you were my friend. I thought I could trust you…"
"I am your friend! Quistis, what…" Laguna looked even more confused than Squall had. "Quistis, I wouldn't do that. I really wouldn't! Why would I do such a thing? It must have been Seifer, or maybe Irvine… look, why don't you come in and…"
Quistis' phone rang; she answered it. "Hello? …. Oh, Martine. Hi. Yes, of course. He'll be right there." She clicked to end the call and gave Laguna a cold stare. "Martine's come ahead of Galbadia Garden," she said. "He wants to meet with you immediately. Squall's unavailable."
"Come with me?" he begged. "You know I can't handle Martine."
"Sorry," she said. "I'm suddenly unaccountably busy with rosters." She spat the word out like poison.
She turned and strode down the corridor, leaving Laguna to clutch his suddenly cramping leg in agony.
* * * * * * *
Frila was taking a break from the lab when Galbadia Garden arrived. She was sitting on the wall by the main entrance, carefully avoiding Seifer, who had been showing an alarming tendency to follow her whenever she emerged from Xu and Selphie's kindly interrogations.
It was okay, acting as interpreter for Oceanus; Selphie and Xu were easy to get along with, although their tendency to grope each other under the bench and steal furtive kisses behind the computer screen was a little disconcerting. In fact she wondered if their claim that she should take a half hour break to rest her junction was really necessary, or just a ruse so they could get the lab to themselves for a bit of touchy-feely. She wasn't sure Squall would approve, so when she saw him and the others emerge through the turnstile entrance to form a welcoming committee for Galbadia Garden, she shuffled a little further along the wall and chose to watch from a distance rather than make her presence known.
She hadn't seen Galbadian SeeDs for a long time.
Balamb's finest and the President of Esthar gathered on the steps. They stood to attention, and eyed each other warily.
What was that about?
She looked carefully down the line. Closest to her was Zell, who seemed his usual hyperactive self, oblivious to the atmosphere that hung between the others. Next in line was Irvine, looking incredibly hot in his rarely-seen SeeD uniform, hair a gleaming copper tail down his back. He was looking distinctly sheepish, and seemed to be avoiding looking at anyone else. Then came Laguna, who seemed to be having trouble with one leg, and kept trying, and failing to catch Quistis' eye. Squall was looking as professional as ever, except once, when she spotted him looking sidelong at Quistis with a kind of amazed expression on his face. Quistis, narrow-eyed and thin-lipped, looked quite simply furious with everyone else.
Well, life with these guys was never dull.
The senior ranking SeeDs from Galbadia marched to the steps and there was a lot of saluting and hand shaking. One of them had an assistant who first of all winked at Irvine, and then whispered something to Squall which clearly unnerved the Lion of Balamb considerably. He looked at her with startlement all over his face, and swiftly led the delegation inside, followed by Zell and an amused Irvine. Quistis was about to take her place behind them when Laguna reached out and put his hand on her shoulder; she turned angrily, but whatever he said to her obviously grabbed her attention, even if he was talking to her while hopping on one leg in a very undignified fashion.
They seemed to come to some kind of understanding, before they ran inside to catch up with the others.
Frila jumped down from the wall, brushing brick dust from her backside.
She took a look down the drive before she made her way back to the lab. Galbadia Garden was settled near the forest, rings whirring, lights blazing.
She sighed deeply, and turned back to Balamb.
* * * * * * *
Squall took a deep breath, and looked Quistis in the eye.
"It wasn't Laguna," he said.
"What?" her eyes went wide.
"Laguna didn't tell me about you and Seifer. All he did was tell me you'd been feeling really down, and that I should take better care of you."
He forced his shoulders to relax a little, like Irvine had told him to.
"Really?" She looked amazed, and somewhat horrified.
"It was a perfectly natural mistake to make," he added. What was it Rinoa said I should… oh, yes, that's it. "We're all under a lot of pressure. I'm sure he'll understand."
She blinked.
"Quistis?" he felt his shoulders creeping back up towards his ears, despite his best efforts.
"I'm sorry, Squall," she whispered. "I've been a complete ass."
"No you haven't." This was unrehearsed territory, but some responses even Squall could manage spontaneously. "Not at all."
"I have. I should have told you before, about Seifer. Especially now he's back."
"It's none of my business."
"You're being very good about this, Squall."
His shoulders relaxed, for real, this time.
"You're my friend, Quisty. We've known each other since we were children. I have enormous respect for you, and you taught me damn near everything I know. It's me who should be sorry."
"No, you've…"
"I've been too wrapped up in my own problems to notice my friend was hurting."
There was a pause; they looked into each others' eyes for a moment.
"I understand," said Quistis. "You can't look after everything."
"No," said Squall. "That's why I'm so pleased I've got you."
She smiled, and he smiled back.
"After this is over," he said gently, "let's talk about what you really want to do with the future. If you want to go back to teaching, you know I'd reinstate you in the blink of an eye."
She stared at him, dumbstruck.
"Or whatever you want. The only stipulation is you stay here in Balamb. I need you, Quisty. I'll always need you. We all will."
To his dismay, she had started to cry.
"Quisty, what… oh, Quisty, don't cry, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"It's okay," she brushed the tears away with the back of her hand. "You've no idea how much this means to me. Oh, gods, Squall, thank you."
Suddenly Squall had his arms full of Quistis, and found himself completely speechless again. He settled for patting her somewhat awkwardly on the back, and smiling encouragingly at her when she recovered herself enough to pull away.
"I'd better go and find Laguna," she said. "Before he thinks I've gone completely mad. Thank you, Squall. You've been…"
"Off you go," said Squall. "Briefing in half an hour, don't forget."
Quistis gave him a grateful smile, and fled.
* * * * * * *
"Hey, Hotshot. You made it, then?"
She flopped down on the bench next to Irvine with a yawn. "I needed to get out of there. If I hear the ocean one more time I swear I'll turn into a lump of kelp."
He laughed. "How're they getting on?"
"Slowly. But I think they're getting somewhere. They really need some live Dians to practice on, but I guess that's not so easy to arrange. We don't have much in the way of test subjects."
"Hm. There'll be plenty soon, if Squall's right," said Irvine, looking across the Quad towards the entrance. "It's not long til sundown and.." He broke off suddenly. "Well, look who's here!" he exclaimed.
Frila stopped surreptitiously stroking his thigh with the back of her hand, and followed his gaze to see who he'd spotted.
"Who?" she asked. The only person she could see was the assistant that had so unnerved Squall earlier. A tall, attractive woman with large breasts and long, dark hair.
"Shotgun!" The woman squealed, and launched herself straight towards them. Irvine leapt up and caught her, spinning her round and, if Frila wasn't mistaken, kissing her, albeit briefly, on the lips.
She fought a wave of jealousy, and lost.
"Oh, Duck, it's good to see you," Irvine grinned. "I thought Squall was going to plain pass out after what you said to him! Is Zef…"
"Yeah, he's supposed to be meeting me here. We thought we'd find you mooching about somewhere." She stepped back to look at Irvine, still holding both his hands, and spotted Frila standing just behind him. "Hello, sweetie, what's your name?"
"Um, Frila," Frila blinked. "I'm just an… um.. cadet."
Duck looked from Frila to Irvine, and laughed. "You randy sonofabitch, Shotgun! You don't change a bit, you know that?"
Shotgun?
Irvine was hushing her urgently. "Easy, Duck. You know cadets are… young." He waggled his eyebrows meaningfully at her.
Frila scowled.
"Deliciously," said Duck, winking. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." She looked Frila up and down. "Especially if you'll share. The leather thing really works for you, sweetie."
"I'm a gunblader," said Frila, her eyes narrow. She wasn't sure whether she meant that as a warning or an explanation, but Duck didn't seem bothered either way. She just laughed again, tossing her chestnut mane, and hooked her arm through Irvine's.
"You ran out on us back in Balamb Hotel, Shotgun," she said. "I had to finish the ice cream all by myself."
Frila realised she was blushing. Not for the first time she cursed her colouring, and the way it made her look like an enraged strawberry when she was embarrassed or mad. At the moment she was both. She wished her hair was loose to hide behind, and settled for staring at the ground.
"Do you like ice cream, Frila?"
"Not particularly," she lied. "I prefer hot things." What? Why on earth did I say that?
Duck made a purring noise in the back of her throat. "Well, that explains what you see in the sniper slut of Galbadia, then."
Irvine shot her a hurt look.
"Captain Kinneas is just a good friend," said Frila, stiffly.
"It's okay, Hotshot," said Irvine. "Duck's cool. We can trust her."
Frila glared at Duck, and hissed, "can we really?"
"Oooh," Duck teased. "Quite the little firebrand."
Just as Frila was contemplating launching herself at Duck and strangling her with her bare hands, they were joined by another new arrival. Again, Irvine was hugged, although this time in a more manly fashion.
"Hey, Zef," Duck said, "look what Shotgun's found himself."
Frila stuck out her hand, determined to retain some dignity. "Frila Alfyrd," she said, "pleased to meet you."
Zephyr emerged from Irvine's embrace and clasped her hand with a friendly smile. "Zef," he said, and then a frown creased his brow under his blonde bangs. "Alfyrd? That rings a bell… oh, hey, are you Sen's little sister?"
"Zephyr," she whispered.
"Well, you've certainly grown since I last saw you," he said. "You came to visit, what, three summers ago, remember? You drove us nuts, always dragging us down to the beach to play volleyball. Heh. And now look at you, all grown up."
She couldn't say anything; it took all she had to fight back the tears.
Zef caught her gaze, his eyes soft and blue. "I'm sorry, about Sen," he said. "You must miss him dreadfully."
Irvine frowned. "Sen? Do I know…"
"I played guitar in his band for a while," said Zef, "can't remember what it was called. You came to some of our gigs, we had great groupies. He was the singer."
Irvine wracked his brains, finally producing the dim recollection of a serious, dark-haired young man, thin and intense, singing some song about betrayal. "Your brother?" he asked Frila. He realised as soon as he looked at her that something was wrong. "What happened?"
"He… died," she said brokenly. There. You said it. Two years and you finally said it.
She couldn't look Irvine in the eyes; she knew she was going to cry and she desperately wanted to do it somewhere else.
"Oh, Hotshot, I'm so sorry. What happened?"
"It was the Battle of the Gardens," said Zephyr softly, "he was trying to protect some juniors and got himself shot."
"Oh gods," whispered Irvine. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."
Frila took a deep breath that turned into a sob. "I don't like to talk about it," she said.
"Yeah, hard luck, Hotshot," said Duck. "He was cute, too, as I remember."
Frila glared at her, a hundred insults choking in her throat. "He was gay," she finally managed to say. "And even if he wasn't he'd never have gone with a whore like you! And don't call me fucking Hotshot!"
She burst into tears, and turned to run.
Somehow, she found herself in Irvine's arms.
"Leave me alone," she wailed, holding him tight. "Someone'll see, I want to be alone, go away…"
"Shh, Hotshot. It's okay. There's no-one looking. And I don't care, anyhow. So long as we keep our clothes on, I think we'll be safe, don't you?"
She sobbed a chuckle against his chest, and just let the tears come.
* * * * * * *
Quistis took a deep breath, and pressed the button to open the door to the meeting room.
Laguna was there, sitting on the big, polished table, swinging his legs. His hair fell over his eyes, and for a moment he reminded her startlingly of Squall. Then he turned to smile at her, despite the wariness in his eyes, and that smile was entirely Laguna Loire. Warm, dependable and friendly.
"Laguna, I owe you a huge apology."
The relief was plain on his face. "I don't care about that," he said. "So long as you know it wasn't me."
She crossed to him, and took both his hands in hers. "I jumped to all sorts of stupid conclusions," she said. "And you've been so good to me."
"You can always trust me," he said, squeezing her fingers gently. "I may be an idiot, but I'm a trustworthy idiot. Ask Kiros."
She grinned at him. "You're not an idiot. You dealt with Martine all on your own, after all. And he seems awfully happy, too."
Laguna shrugged. "He was having some woman trouble," he said. "I'm a good listener."
Quistis stared at him. "Are you saying all that stroppy behaviour has been because he's got personal problems?!"
"Mostly, I think. He's a complicated man, Quisty. With guilt the size of a continent on his shoulders."
"Yeah. Well, yeah."
"Thanks for coming to talk to me," he said.
"No problem. What're you doing in here, anyway? It's nearly time for Squall's briefing, we should get going."
"Yeah." He slid off the table. "It's quiet in here. I had some thinking to do, and all."
"Of course. Oh, Laguna, I can't say how sorry I am, I…"
"Shh." He put one finger to her lips. "It's past. Gone. Don't worry about it."
"You've done so much for me," she beamed at him. "Thank you." She slid her arms easily around his waist, and hugged him.
She heard him hitch his breath in suddenly, before his arms settled around her to return the hug.
"You deserve to be happy," he whispered.
She raised her head to look into his eyes, her heart suddenly racing for no reason; his eyes still locked on hers, he brushed her lips with his, softly, once. Just once.
She gasped, her eyes wide with sudden realisation.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, and kissed him back.
* * * * * * *
"How you doing, Hotshot?"
"Better," she mumbled. "Thanks."
They lay on Irvine's bed, Frila curled at his side, seeming unusually small and vulnerable. He brushed back stray curls from around her face, stroked her damp cheeks with gentle fingertips.
"I'm sorry about Duck. She's a bit… direct, sometimes. She likes you."
"Well, I don't like her," Frila grumbled. "But I like Zef. Always have."
"Yeah," said Irvine. "Me too. He's been very good to me, over the years."
"I haven't seen him, since…"
"Oh. Listen, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But if you do, I'm always here for you, Hotshot. Always."
She closed her eyes; it was too raw, all of it. She'd shut this pain away for so long, and somehow Irvine's kindness just made it more acute somehow. She loved him hopelessly at that moment, and that made her feel more vulnerable than ever. She burrowed her nose into his soft shirt, and breathed deeply, drowning in the scent of him; warm and male and comforting.
Irvine kissed the top of her head, cuddling her close to him but not saying anything else, letting her take what she needed from him.
He gazed out of his window and watched the sun sinking steadily in the sky, painting it vivid orange-pink and cream. It wouldn't be long now. He just hoped that Xu and Selphie could come up with something, before they faced another onslaught.
"How was your day?" she asked.
"Sorry?"
"Your day. How was it?"
He smiled. "It's a long time since anyone asked me that."
She frowned at him. "Why? It's a normal enough thing to ask."
"Exactly." He gently pulled the band off the end of her braid and started to work it loose. "It's nice. We don't get to do normal very often round here."
"I suppose not. So, how was it?"
"It's been a bit… chaotic, to tell the truth."
"Oh?"
"Well, there was this whole thing with Quistis." It briefly crossed his mind that perhaps he shouldn't tell her, but he dismissed the thought quickly. If she was fighting alongside them, and sharing his bed, and most of all, if he were to take her mind off things, then it was only fair he should share. "This is in absolute confidence, right?"
"Of course." She looked at him curiously. This sounded distinctly like it was going to be gossip, and she loved gossip.
"It turns out she had an affair with Seifer, back before he went evil and became Ultimecia's bitch."
"No! You're kidding!"
"It's true."
"And she told you?"
"Well, not exactly. I kind of guessed, from something Seifer said, only I thought it was Squall at first, and then there was this whole confusion thing… only now it's all sorted out and last I saw her she actually looked happy."
"Wow. Well. Fuck me."
He grinned. "Is that an offer?"
She slapped him playfully on the arm. "Tentacles, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I guess we don't have time, huh? Later?"
She smiled, just a bit. "You bet."
He gave her a little hug.
"What about Risha?" she said.
"Oh, yeah, I saw… well, she's not going by the name Risha anymore. She seems to be developing a new personality."
"Really? Is that like, because she lost her memory?"
"I don't think anyone really knows. She doesn't seem like the same person, to be honest. And she calls herself Sanke."
"Woah!" She sat up suddenly, her fingers at her temples.
"You alright?"
"Yeah, fine, it's just Oceanus… big noise in here. What did you say her new name was?"
"Sanke."
Frila jumped. "Yep, that would be it." There was a pause as she communicated with her suddenly excited Guardian. "I can't make much sense of it, but it seems like it knows her, or something."
"What? It's not getting confused with Risha, is it?"
"I dunno, it's… very happy. Not making sense, really, just… rejoicing."
"Rejoicing?"
"That's the only word that fits. It's kind of… euphoric."
"Well, I guess it thought Risha was gone, and even if she has a new name…"
"Yeah. That must be it. Think I'll just drop the junction for a minute, it's too noisy just now… there. That's better." She lay back down, snuggling into Irvine's shoulder.
"That's kind of nice, that it's so pleased."
"Yeah." She smiled again, a bit more strongly now. "It is. Oceanus is quite a sensitive thing, y'know? I like that they have their own personalities. Shiva's all like 'gods, he's making such a fuss, what's that about. I really like having it around, you know? Like having a friend all the time…"
"You should be careful. I might get jealous," he teased, stroking her hair out over the pillow.
"Well, there's some things it can't do that you're rather good at," she said.
"I'm glad to hear it."
She grinned at him, looking much more like her usual self.
"Like shooting." She kissed his neck, taking the trouble to make sure he could feel the tip of her tongue against his skin.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess. Anything else?" His eyes slid shut as she ran her tongue up to his ear.
"It doesn't play cards."
"Right."
She tugged gently on his earring.
"Can't think of anything else, off hand."
He squeaked outrage.
"Unless there's something you could do to remind me." She sucked his earlobe between her soft lips.
"Oh gods, Hotshot…"
"Yeah?"
"If we're late and miss the briefing and forget to save the world and get thrown out of Garden…"
"We've got half an hour."
"Well, in that case…" Irvine swiftly rolled over, pinning her on the bed and smoothly straddling her thighs. "I promise you that in half an hour you will be perfectly clear about what Irvine Kinneas has that no Guardian on earth does. Not even," he brushed the tip of her nose with his, "Ether."
"Oh, promises promises," she giggled.
He silenced her with a kiss.