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Memories 36 - Bound

Squall stood panting, Lionhart clutched tightly in one hand, still glowing faintly from the last healing spell.

Bane shone from Selphie's eyes, and mocked him.

Squall's eyes darted to Frila's body, taking in the reality of her loss for the first time. She lay lifeless on the floor of the cave, her skin glowing an eerie pink from the crystal-light, blood still draining from the neat wound Chet's sword had cut through her body.

"Oh, no," whispered Rinoa. "Is she…"

Squall nodded. "Irvine," he whispered, urgently.

Irvine didn't answer. He'd collapsed to his knees, and was staring at Selphie in horror.

Bane was settling into junction, its power crackling in the air around her.

"Irvine! Kinneas! Ether, now! We need Ether!"

Irvine looked up at him, shaking his head slowly. "Too weak," he said. "No power."

"Then give him some!" yelled Squall, rummaging in his pockets and producing a potion. "Drink! Now! Quick, while Bane's regaining it's strength!"

Irvine took the vial, as if moving in a dream, and unscrewed the top. He knocked back the bitter liquid with a grimace, and concentrated for a moment. "No good," he said. "Too weak. Too sad. Too weak."

"Rope," murmured Squall. "Rin, rope?"

"What for? To tie Selphie up? I don't think it'll…"

"The three of us," said Squall, more patiently than he felt. "This is what Ether expected. We need to join our minds with Irvine's, so it can use our strength. Irvine, can you do that?"

Irvine just looked at him blankly. "Rope?" he said, vaguely.

"He's in shock," said Rinoa. "Come on. Hold hands. I remember what it felt like. I think I can get us started."

"You? How…"

"Don't argue!" she grabbed Irvine's hand in one of hers, Squall's in the other. "Just do it! I've been linked with Irvine before, I know how it works."

Squall gazed at her in amazement, but obediently took hers and Irvine's hands in his.

Rinoa closed her rainbow-coloured eyes, and forced herself to relax as she pushed gently inside Irvine's mind.

* * * * * * *

"Oh yeah! Die! Die, you pink blubbery bastard!"

Duck whooped as she flung her wire around another tentacle, holding the beast still so Zephyr could get a clean shot.

"Next!" she yelled as the creature fell. "This is more like it, eh, Zef? Nice of Balamb to share at last."

Another Dian was netted in her garrotte, and proved easy pickings for the second-best Sniper to come out of Galbadia. "Where's Shotgun? I bet I could do two at once!"

Zef grinned at her innuendo, although on the whole he was taking the battle a good deal more seriously than she was. As usual. She always got off on a good fight, though, and he had to admit she was a joy to watch. She'd managed to lose a fair amount of her clothing somewhere along the line, and her strong body glistened in tight pants and a white vest that had somehow become fetchingly ripped to expose her cleavage whenever she moved.

"Who needs Guardians anyway?" she yelled cheerfully. "We're doing just great here!"

Zef's eyes flickered involuntarily to the ranks ahead of them. He could see SeeDs frozen in front of him, bemused, just staring into the distance as tentacles curled around their fragile necks and strangled them.

He and Duck were catching up fast.

"Come on, Zef, haven't got all fucking day!"

He brought his mind back to the shot.

"At least that fucking awful racket's stopped," yelled Duck, throwing out her wire again. "I wonder what they're playing at?"

Zef fired again, dodging the stream of goo that spurted from the creature's eye.

She was right, it was quiet. Maybe they'd run out of ideas after all. Maybe Balamb weren't as infallible as everyone thought.

Another step closer to the crystal monsters.

Noisy or otherwise, he fervently hoped that they still had something up their sleeve.

* * * * * * *

Rinoa was overwhelmed at first by the sheer intensity of Irvine's grief. She sensed Ether, power ebbing from him by the second, and she could have sworn it was grieving too.

~Irvine?~

~Rin?~

~Irvine, we're here. Me and Squall.~

~Squall?~

~I'm here.~

~He killed her. Right in front of me, he killed her. And Selphie…~

~I know, baby, I know. But you have to be strong. Just a little bit longer. If you can be strong, and we can heal Ether, we can get Selphie back.~

~She's right, Irvine. Please. I need you. Selphie needs you. We have to hurry. Bane will be attacking just as soon as it's properly junctioned. That could be any second now.~

~We need Ether to bind us together. Then we can help you, Irvine. You don't have to be alone. Let us help.~

Rinoa felt a surge, like her own magical power, fainter, much fainter, but somehow warmer and safer. She summoned a little of Gemini's magic, and pulsed it through Irvine's mind like a healing spell.

Ether's voice sounded in her head, weak and uncertain.

~Sniper. Lion. Sorceress.~

~Yes,~ thought Rinoa. ~Yes, that's it.~

~Sniper. Lion. Sorceress.~

Stronger this time.

~Sniper. Lion. Sorceress.~

She felt its power rushing between them, strengthening the link, bringing Irvine's mind into sharp focus. The grief and sadness was still there, but it wasn't quite so raw.

~Sniper. Lion. Sorceress.~

Squall and Rinoa's energy flooded into Irvine's heart, and he started to heal.

* * * * * * *

"Zell, I'm sorry, we'll need the cadets. The top classes, anyway. Trabia are on their way, we just need greater numbers to…"

"To what exactly?" Zell rounded angrily on her. "The words 'cannon fodder' spring to mind, Quistis. Is that what you mean?"

Quistis bit her lip; she was pale and anxious. "It's just until Trabia gets here. We need to buy Xu more time."

"How much damn time does she need?" yelled Zell. "There's people dying out there! And where the fuck's Squall and the rest of them?"

"I don't know," said Quistis, helplessly. "They just disappeared. Radios won't work, or anything."

"We should retreat," said Zell. "Remember Squall's order?"

"Not yet," came Laguna's steady voice. "It's not time yet. There's still something we can try, right Xu?"

Xu looked up at him, her fingers still tapping on the keyboard. "One more," she said. "I just need to run this through the computer and…"

"Then we wait," said Laguna, his usual friendly smile only slightly marred by worry. "Alright, guys?"

They waited.

* * * * * * *

Rinoa could feel Bane's power pushing against their minds, searching for Ether's weakness.

She concentrated on her feelings for Irvine, remembering everything he'd done for her over the years. How he'd automatically rushed to rescue her from the sorceress at Deling, dragging Squall behind him. How he'd covered her back in battle after battle. How he stayed up with her all night when she first found out what it meant to be a sorceress and couldn't even begin to cope. How he'd always been there for her, always, whether she was fed up with training, frustrated by Squall or just plain ordinary pissed off with life in general. She remembered how he'd comforted her, made her laugh, made her feel warm inside just by being his usual vulnerable self.

She remembered the feeling of his lips on hers, the way he could make her want him so fiercely with that one touch that she would have risked everything for him.

Ether's power surged.

She could feel Squall's thoughts, shy, hesitant, as he took her lead.

Bane's power was surrounding them, constricting, and she felt Ether's horror and revulsion at the blackness.

~Squall, remember. Think. Think hard.~

He remembered Irvine in the clock tower, scared and lonely, forcing Squall to feel something for another person for the first time in more than a decade. He remembered Irvine in the orphanage, trying to comfort him when he cried. He remembered card games, stilted conversations which Irvine patiently undertook, simply filling in the gaps when Squall's words failed him. He remembered the solidarity of their friendship, the shared silences, Irvine's unswerving loyalty and trust.

He remembered a stolen afternoon of heat and desire, the touch of Irvine's fingers, the taste of his skin.

Irvine's mind flooded love, and Rinoa wrapped it around the three of them, bound them with her magic and made them one.

* * * * * * *

They were nearly there. Zephyr could already make out the sound of the crystals, just at the edge of his hearing.

Even Duck had gone quiet.

"We should sing," he suggested. "They say it helps."

"Okay," she said, her lips curving into a shadow of her usual broad grin. "A few choruses of 'The Balamb Maid and the Chocoboy', then?"

He grinned back, thinking she was probably the bravest person he knew. Or the most reckless. He never could work out which.

She blew him a kiss and led him towards the crystal-glowing Dians, singing at the top of her lungs.

"There was a fair maid

Of Balamb town

She never got laid

And it got her down

She wanted to play

But she couldn't find a toy,

So she went to the forest

To catch her a boy…"

It might not stop the enemy in their tracks, Zef thought as he followed her through the carnage of battle to the brightly glowing army ahead of them. But it might just confuse the hell out of the buggers.

He wondered where Irvine was, and hoped he would see him again.

* * * * * * *

~I am stronger. Sniper, Lion, Sorceress. I am strong.~

It was right. And growing stronger all the time, every moment they were linked.

~And I will have vengeance.~

Rinoa felt a chill up her spine, shared it with Irvine and Squall. Vengeance? Guardians didn't feel…

~I feel, Sorceress. I am made of feelings. I feel. I want vengeance.~

Of the three of them, only Irvine didn't register complete surprise.

Rinoa opened her eyes, and saw Selphie standing before her, her eyes swirling grey and black. She stood straight and tall, and still. Not like Selphie at all.

She caught the memory of Selphie from Squall and Irvine: friend, companion, lover.

That Selphie was still there, somewhere. She had to be.

The attack came as a whirling frenzy of hatred, Selphie's nunchaka cracking across all three of them. Rinoa deflected the blow with a gesture, drawing on Ether's power as well as her own and Gemini's, effortlessly turning Selphie's attack back on herself. Squall and Irvine flooded her with energy, binding their power to hers.

She'd never felt so strong.

Selphie slammed back against the wall behind her, and bounced to the floor.

~Mind shield~ Irvine told his Guardian, and Rinoa felt Ether circling them, protecting. Bane's thrust of destructive energy bounced away just as Selphie's attack had, leaving just a taste of the immense pain and suffering it had borne.

Rinoa squeezed Irvine's hand, a physical touch to reinforce the affection in her mind.

Selphie pulled herself back to standing, shaking her head, glowing blue as she healed herself. She turned on them with a growl and attacked again, a ball of ice magic that Rinoa countermanded easily with a hiss of fire, turning it to a cloud of steam between them.

She glared at them, rattling the chain of her nunchaka menacingly, and Bane threw itself at Ether's mind shield. It held.

Irvine and Rinoa ran magic through Lionheart, and Squall charged, slashing at Selphie again and again, dodging her countermoves with ease, driving her back against the wall until she could barely fight back. He gritted his teeth against the revulsion he felt at hurting her like this, careful not to look in her eyes, or linger on her face, telling himself over and over that this wasn't Selphie, the friend who'd fought at his side for years, who'd stood by him at Ultimecia's castle, who'd teased him and loved him and made him feel things.

It wasn't Selphie.

A voice that sounded like Selphie's called Bane.

~Squall, watch out! She's summoning!~

Squall stepped back and watched as Bane emerged, ephemeral and mist-like, black and terrible. Selphie slumped against the wall, her nails scraping down the crystals embedded there with an unearthly shriek, and curled into a ball.

Bane hovered there, shimmering.

~Now what?~ Squall was breathing hard, gunblade in his hand still, face damp with sweat and tears, fighting down the guilt.

~Kill it,~ said Irvine and Ether in unison, without hesitation.

~How?~

Irvine didn't answer consciously; Rinoa just got the impression of Ether's power reaching out and clashing with Bane's. She felt the recoil of Bane's counter attack, a twist of cruelty, painful and morbid. Squall's presence faded a little as he put a wall around his feelings; Irvine seemed unaffected, ready to send Ether's energy out again. Rinoa tried hard as she could to coax Squall to open himself to them again, concentrating on Gemini's strength, telling herself that it was Bane making her feel bad, just Bane, it wasn't real. It was trying to twist her memories, reminding her over and over of how Selphie attacked her after she found her with Irvine and Squall, how she wanted Selphie to hit her, how she felt dirty and cheap and needed to be punished, how she couldn't believe either man really cared for her, they just used her, like a silly little whore, just…

~Rin. Stop it. We love you.~

~We both love you.~

~They've always loved you.~

It's Bane. It's just Bane. It's not real.

~Sniper. Lion. Sorceress.~

~We love you.~

* * * * * * *

"… the chocoboy blew his whistle

And she was a maid no more!

Yes, the chocoboy blew his…"

"Duck, what's that?"

"What's what, lover?" She paused and looked back at him over her shoulder, wire at the ready.

"That sound." He was listening intently.

She jerked her head towards the Dian army that was nearly within shooting range. "That lot? Don't listen! Come on, sing with me, the chocoboy blew…"

"No, it's something else. Almost like the ocean… fuck, Duck, look! They've done it! Balamb have fucking done it!"

She followed his gaze back towards the pink glowing monsters just in time to see the one nearest them explode into a messy downpour of what looked - and felt - uncannily like melted marshmallow.

They weren't singing anymore.

"They've found a frequency that explodes the crystals!" yelled Zephyr, pulling her back as another tentacled beast blew to pieces in front of them.

"Well, fuck me!" Duck laughed, shaking pink goo from her hair.

Zephyr squealed and caught hold of her, spinning her round.

"Later, babe, later," he breathed into her ear.

* * * * * * *

Up in the control room, Xu was getting hugged within an inch of her life.

"You did it!" squealed Zell, breaking off his embrace to do a series of flickflacks along to the doorway and back.

"Show off," muttered Xu under her breath.

"Well done," Quistis squeezed her shoulder. "I knew you could do it."

"The explosion is a neat idea," said Laguna. "I hope their innards aren't toxic."

"Oh no," said Xu. "Quite harmless. They won't all explode, though. My guess is about seventy percent will blow up, the rest will just shatter internally, maybe killing the host, maybe not. Some won't blow up at all, but the frequency should still block the harmful sound waves."

"I'll order the cleanup operation," said Quistis. "Thanks, Xu. Are you okay? You don't look too pleased."

Xu smiled weakly. "Just… worried about the others."

"They'll be fine," said Quistis, with a conviction borne of experience. "Trust Squall. He'll bring them home safe. He always does."

Xu nodded, but her worried expression didn't change. She couldn't feel pleased, not yet.

Not until she saw Selphie again with her own eyes.

* * * * * * *

~We need to summon Ether,~ thought Irvine. ~We can defend like this, but we can't properly attack.~

~Won't that leave us exposed?~ suggested Squall. ~Without the mind shield…~

~It might. But it's our best shot. We'll just have to stay strong.~

Squall wasn't convinced, he could tell; his eyes darted to Rinoa's briefly, then turned to Irvine with a grim expression.

"Alright," he said, out loud. "Let's do it."

Together, they called Ether.

Ether's manifestation was different from usual. Irvine could make out a shape, a humanoid shape, crafted from blue mist.

So, Ether did have a gender, after all. Even in this ephemeral state, Irvine could be sure his Guardian was male. He almost smiled.

No sooner had the shape formed, than it started to change; first into the icy form of Shiva, then flickering to the multicoloured Gemini. Then back to Ether, a pulsing string of glittering, wispy images.

It was strong. They were strong. They were going to win.

Irvine's gaze flickered over to the puddle of drying blood where Frila's body lay.

~Vengeance. For you, Hotshot.~

Ether, Gemini and Shiva prepared to attack, and for the first time, they felt Bane's fear.

It felt good.

Ether stood before Bane, pulsing to Shiva, to Gemini, and back to Ether, and Bane shrank from them.

Ether charged at Bane, and for a moment their forms combined. When Ether withdrew, Bane was less.

Shiva threw her ice at Bane, and Bane shattered.

Gemini whirled her blades, and Bane was cut to ribbons.

Bane threw itself at Irvine, but Ether was in the way.

Bane howled and writhed, and struggled.

And then, just before it was sure to die, it vanished.

* * * * * * *

Frila felt as though she'd been walking on the beach forever. She could see the bay curling around ahead of her, and if she turned she could see the other end, but she was always in the middle. However far she walked, she was always in the middle.

The waves lapped at her bare feet, which strangely, didn't hurt, although she must have walked for tens, even hundreds of miles.

I wonder if this is what it was like for Sen?

She'd hoped that maybe she'd see him again, when she died.

Perhaps she still would. She can't have been dead for long, although it felt like she'd been walking for days.

It wasn't how she'd thought it would be.

Finally, she couldn't walk any more. Not without a rest, at any rate. She lowered herself gently to sit on the sand. She was naked.

That figured, she supposed. No need of clothes in the afterlife. She'd miss the leather, though.

She'd miss Irvine.

She'd thought she might see Sen.

She leaned back against the warm, rustling scales of the water dragon, and sighed.

"Am I dead, Oceanus?"

"Yes," came his rich, familiar voice.

"Is Sen here?"

"Yes. But you cannot see him. Not yet."

"I want to see him."

"You will, Child. One day."

"Why are you here?"

"I swore to protect you, Child. I swore to make good my sin."

"Risha?"

"Yes."

"But… I mean, no offence, but… I'm dead, right? So… not that I mind, I mean you did tell me not to do it and all, and I know you'd have stopped me if you could but… you didn't. I'm dead. It's too late to protect me now. Shouldn't you be off trying to junction someone else?"

"I swore to protect you. I shall protect you, so you can be strong for Sanke."

She turned and snuggled into his warm side, feeling the flutter of a wing as he rustled it over her naked body. She didn't understand, but she felt suddenly tired, and couldn't find the strength to argue.

"Who's Sanke?" she asked, sleepily, knowing she should remember.

She felt the thrum of excitement through his body, like the ripple of a wave.

"My offspring," said Oceanus, proudly.

She sat up, suddenly awake, eyes wide, and looked into the lizard-eye closest to her. "Your offspring? How?"

"The one you called Chet tried to make more of me," he explained. "It tried to use the one I lost. I thought it to have failed."

"He grafted you on to Risha?"

"Yes."

"And it worked?"

"Yes."

"But only when Risha was gone, right?"

"Yes. I mourn the one I lost. I wanted no harm for her. I did not know she held my child. But Sanke lives. That is why you must go back."

"What?"

"I will make you live again, for Sanke."

"You can do that?"

"Once."

"But… I… you could look after Sanke just fine. Why do you need me?" She fought down a surge of hope, thinking it bound to be false.

"She cannot be joined. She is already joined to the shell of the one I lost, and always will be. I cannot be with her. You are worthy. You died for Sniper. You would die for Sanke. You are worthy."

Frila felt a sudden wave of sadness flood through her. "You're not coming with me, are you?"

"That is the price."

"You're giving your life for mine?"

"Yes. It is my honour to do so."

"No. Oceanus, I can't let you do this. You could go back, join with anyone, get them to help Sanke. You're way more powerful than me. I can't let you. I can't…"

To see Irvine. Just one more time. Just once.

"He mourns."

"He'll heal. I healed, after Sen."

"Did you?"

"I would have. I was getting better. People die. Other people cope with it. How many lives were lost down there in that battle, Oceanus? Hundreds? A thousand? More? Their families and friends will be mourning too."

"They were not as strong as you. You are worthy. I swore to protect. You must live."

"It's not right."

"It was right for you to die for Sniper."

"Yes. And I knew it. I did it willingly. I can't take it back."

"Your death gave me freedom. I do this of my choice. I will give my life for you."

The hope was bright now. She could taste it. She could almost feel the new, fresh air in her lungs, almost taste the bright spark of life in her soul.

"You will live. I have chosen."

"But…"

"You will live."

There was a long pause, and the hope grew brighter still, until, bit by bit, it became a promise.

"Oceanus…" she slowly stroked the rustling scales that smelt richly of seaweed and salt water. "Oceanus, I'll miss you so much."

"Sanke will be your comfort."

She felt tears running down her cheeks, and watched them fall on Oceanus' paper-thin wings in little splashes.

"I will care for her," she promised. "I'll protect her with my life, if I need to. You have my word."

Oceanus pushed her gently away from his body with one forepaw, and drew himself erect, dragon rampant, wings unfurling to form a backdrop to his awesome, shimmering form. She stood in front of him, small and naked, and reached out to touch his silky scales one last time.

"Tell Sen I miss him," she whispered.

Oceanus drew back his head and bathed her in the watery silver light of his breath.

~Farewell, Child. Live.~

There was a flash, and a hissing crash in her head like a wave smashing against a rock, and suddenly, her lungs were full.

Oceanus shimmered in front of her for a second, and faded on a sigh.

~Shield.~

* * * * * * *

Irvine howled frustration, so loud it echoed off the crystal walls.

The mind bond was gone, their Guardians junctioned but dormant, but the link was still there enough that Squall and Rinoa could feel the full force of Irvine's anguish.

Rinoa cast scan spells in every direction, but could find nothing.

"Selphie!" yelled Irvine. "It must have gone back to…"

"No," said Rinoa. "She's just Selphie."

"Sure is," came a mumble from Selphie's lips.

"Seffie?" Irvine knelt next to her and took her hand. "Seffie, are you okay?"

"Fucking awful," she said, hoarsely. "But thanks."

Rinoa squatted on her other side, and brushed the hair back from her face and getting her spells ready. "Oh Seffie, thank gods…"

"The crystals," Selphie whispered. "It's gone into the crystals."

Squall looked around him in horror at the tens of tens of thousands of crystals that lined the cave. "Bollocks!" he snapped. "We nearly had him…"

~Curaga~

~Full life~

~Curaga~

"Thanks." The colour slowly returned to Selphie's cheeks.

Squall looked at her, worried. "Unless…"

"You think I might be lying," said Selphie, her voice a little stronger now.

"I'm sorry," said Squall. "It junctioned you by force. We don't know what it…"

Selphie nodded. "Sure. I understand. Come on, Irvy. Make yourself at home. Just try not to move anything, eh?"

Irvine looked at her in amazement. "But Ether…"

"Don't bother me none," said Selphie with a shrug, sitting up a little straighter and clasping Irvine's hand. "Come on, Cowboy."

Which was proof enough, at least to Irvine's mind, that Bane wasn't in her head anymore. But he caught Squall's expression, and obediently settled by Selphie, taking her tiny hands in his.

There was no blackness, no writhing sin. Just Selphie's mind, fluffy, glittering bright with intelligence and indefatigable hope. He felt a little rush of Gemini's power join Ether's and bathe the rooms of Selphie's consciousness in rainbow colours, cleansing, healing.

"Oh, it tingles!"

Ether drew back, and Irvine followed with a squeeze to Selphie's hand, a sigh of relief.

"Alright, Cowboy?"

He nodded.

"We must go," said Squall. "All we can do is seal the cave. We've been gone long enough as it is, they'll need Rinoa out there, and Oceanus." He frowned, looking back at Frila's still form. "Where is Oceanus?"

Irvine struggled with the threat of tears; he couldn't let himself cry, not yet. There was too much still to do, and he knew once he started…

"Must've gone wild," said Rinoa. "It did that before, remember?"

"Poor Oceanus," said Selphie. "First Risha and now…"

"We'll have to do without, then," said Squall harshly.

There was enough of the mind link left that Irvine caught the grief and regret behind Squall's Commander voice. As always, the mission before his feelings. He swallowed hard, as it dawned on him just how much Squall sacrificed all the time to be the leader he was. No wonder he found it hard to open up, even now. He felt a surge of compassion, and caught the surprise in Squall's eyes as he picked it up.

"Let's go," said Rinoa, slipping her hand in Squall's, adding her sympathy to Irvine's. "I'll seal the cave."

Selphie pulled herself to her feet and reached out to help Irvine up. He allowed himself to look at Frila again.

"I can't leave her here," he murmured. "Let me get her out of the cave, at least."

"Irvine, we don't have…" Squall started, but he couldn't finish. "Alright," he said gently. "If this place leads to the Dian tunnels I don't want them… quickly, Irvine." He turned and led the way out of the cave, Rinoa and Selphie following. Irvine watched his back, muscles rippling underneath his sweat-damp t-shirt, and felt a pang, an almost irresistible need to be with them, an anxiety at letting them out of his sight for an instant, but he hurried over to Frila's body nonetheless, ignoring the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach at her wounds…

Which weren't there anymore.

"Hotshot?"

He fumbled with her arm, pulling leather back from her wrist to find her pulse, searching her face for any sign of life, his fingers shaking too much to register any response, even if he found it.

He lowered his face to hers to search for her breath, and he thought he could hear the ocean.

* * * * * * *

Frila felt something tickle her face; something soft, wispy, familiar.

Was it real? Am I really alive?

She was unjunctioned: Oceanus wasn't there, nor Shiva. She was alone.

"Hotshot?"

Her eyelids flickered open, slowly as if from a long sleep, and her eyes settled on violet and copper.

Tears splashed her face, and she heard her name, over and over, Hotshot, Hotshot, Hotshot.

"Irvine?"

The warm joy of Ether's power flooded over her; she felt Irvine's strong arms fold around her, pick her up off the ground and hold her close.

She clung to him, and wept.

* * * * * * *