Chapter 4 or Another Bloody Lockhart!
Harry was getting kind of tired and hungry. He wanted nothing more, at this time, than to ditch his entourage of women and meet up with the rest of the Weasleys at the Leaky Couldron. He motioned for Ron and Hermione to join him in a huddle to discuss how to ditch the girls that were following him around. "Here's the plan, Harry" Ron Started. "Hermione and me will follow you into that shop over there, and while we pretend we are talking to you, you can slip out the back door."
"Wow, Ron" Hermione breathed. "That is a really good idea." Hermione looked at Ron with new respect and Ron beamed at them both, proud that he had been the one to think up such a great plan. "Come on Harry." Said Ron gesturing toward the Owl Emporium. "Just remember the plan." He whispered "And nothing can possibly go wrong." This said all three walked across the street and into the shop.
While Hermione pointed out various owls to Ron and Harry, they made their way towards the back of the shop. Once Hermione had spotted the back door to the establishment, she covertly gestured to both boys. "Ok, Ron. You stand over there by the door and in front of Harry." She commanded the boys. "I am going to stand just over here by the side of the door and let the girls think that I am asking Harry about this owl here, and then all you have to do, Harry, is slip out the door." Harry and Ron nodded to their frizzy-haired friend and put their plan into motion.
Hermione started gesturing wildly towards an old brown barn owl to divert attention towards herself, while Ron stood in front of the door blocking Harry from view. "Look, Harry!" She squealed in a very high pitched voice. "Isn't this the most beautiful bird you have ever seen?" The bird preened at this praise, while the girls were successfully distracted enough looking at the plain ordinary old owl for Harry to slip out the back door. Once out the door, though, Harry found himself in a quandary. Which way to the Leaky Couldron? He though frantically. If I go out that way, I will surely run into that mob of girls, but if I go this way, I haven't a clue where I will end up. Scratching his head, he looked both ways and when his stomach growled in hunger, he started to walk off towards the opposite end of the alley.
Several hours and wrong turns later, a tired, hungry and very dirty Harry walked into the Leaky Couldron. By now, Molly had flued, both, her husband and Albus Dumbledore in a panic because Harry could not be found. When Harry walked through the door of the old hotel, Molly sagged in relief against Ginny, who almost fell over from the unexpected move from her mother, and Ron and Hermione ran over to ask where he had been.
"Well, Ron" Started Harry in an irritated voice. "Your plan was great and all, but we forgot to figure out something before we went through with it." Both Hermione and Ron looked at him expectantly.
"What's that?" Asked Ron looking at Harry in confusion.
"Which way I was supposed to go to get here?" Harry said sarcastically. "I have been wandering around the back alleyways of Diagon Alley all evening trying to find my way here. Stated a petulant Harry. "I am tired and I am hungry and Ron, my feet hurt." At this disclosure, Molly Weasley straightened up, cast a dark and reprimanding look at her son and ran towards Harry.
"Oh my poor, poor boy!" She cried. "Of course we will go directly home and get you something to eat." She bustled Harry towards the grate and took out some of their precious powder to get home. As Harry stepped into the glowing embers of the grate, he could hear Mrs. Weasley scolding Ron and Hermione for concocting such a fool hardy scheme and blaming Ron for everything that had gone wrong. Harry could see Ron's face turning red and hear him blustering about what a good plan it was before he sighed tiredly and stating in a very clear and firm voice. "The Burrow!"
Harry stepped out of the fireplace and into the homey and peaceful Weasley kitchen. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, while he waited for Hermione, Ron and the rest of the Weasley to appear. What a day he thought wearily and promptly yawned.
After everyone showed up and Molly had flued Albus and Arthur to let them know that Harry had been found and was back in the bosom of her family, she made them all something to eat. Harry was so hungry that he actually ate three helpings of pot roast while a smiling Molly Weasley watched over him maternally. Bill and Charlie had come in from outside and after hearing everything that happened, they started howling with laughter! Fred and George joined in on the laughter and started grilling Harry about "Sinful Pleasures". He fielded such leading questions as, "Did you see anything interesting Harry?" to "What did the note say Harry?" Flushing at all of this attention, Harry took the ribbing he was getting from everyone. "I didn't see anything at all guys. I kept my eyes closed the entire time until Hermione got there." Fred and George looked rather dejected at this news and decided to call it a night. Bill and Charlie were the next to leave after affectionately ruffling his hair as they walked by him, while Harry flushed bright red.
All of the excitement of the day finally caught up with them all, though, and as he yawned once again, Mrs. Weasley quickly hustled them all off to bed. Bidding everyone a hearty good night, Harry walked up the stairs in front of a whispering Ron and Hermione and upon reaching his room, flopped down on the bed and fell asleep. Hermione and Ron, though, stood outside of Ginny's room and continued to talk in quiet tones.
"But, Ron, are you telling me that he doesn't even have a clue why all those girls were following us all day?" Hermione rolled her eyes and inquired in a quietly surprised voice.
"That's what I have been trying to owl you for the past week Hermione!" Ron was flushed in exasperation. "Not a bloody clue!" He huffed. "He thinks it is all because of his fame at being The Boy Who Lived! Isn't that a hoot? I mean girls crawling all over him and he is so totally oblivious to it all!" Ron had starting grinning like mad at this thought.
"Well, I think someone should tell him Ron and since you won't, I will." She announced importantly. "Tomorrow, I will take Harry aside and tell him. I will even get a mirror if I have to." Hermione smiled, said goodnight and went into the room she shared with the youngest Weasley. Ron turned towards the door of his room.
"Good luck, Hermione." He whispered to himself while shaking his head and amusedly thinking of the conversation that was to take place the next morning. "I have a funny feeling you're going to need it."
After breakfast the next morning, Hermione approached Harry and asked if she could talk to him. Harry looked towards Ron, who motioned him to go with their friend. "We can practice Quidditch later Harry." Ron assured while grinning broadly at both of his friends. Hermione smiled at Harry and led him out on to the front porch where they both sat on the swing. After doing nothing but swingy in a slow and lazy manner for all of five minutes, Harry turned to Hermione with an inquisitive look in his eyes.
"So, Hermione" He started. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"
Hermione turned to Harry and opened her mouth to speak, but after getting the full effect of a direct gaze from Harry, she could not find her voice. She sat there staring at Harry with a vacant look in her eyes and her mouth opening and closing in a vain effort to mouth the words that were spinning around in her head. Harry looked at Hermione and Hermione looked at Harry, until Harry finally broke the spell.
"Hermione?" He questioned. "Come on, whatever it is you want to tell me…it can't be that bad." Harry tried to encourage his friend. Hermione vaguely heard Harry mouthing words of platitude. Something along the lines of can't be that bad, and you can tell me, before she pulled herself together enough and stopped the motion of the porch swing. Straightening her spine a bit, she went for it. Lunging at Harry, she threw her arms around his neck and planted her lips on his. Knocked off balance, in more than one way, Harry quickly disentangled himself from the passionate Hermione and jumped to his feet!
"Hermione!" He yelled in surprise. "What has gotten into you?!" For that matter, Harry thought, what has gotten into everyone else too? Skittishly backing away from a now beet red Hermione, Harry tried again. "I don't understand Hermione. I thought that were friends?"
Hermione blushed, even redder, than she had been before and tried to explain. "Ha-Harry" she wailed mournfully. "Oh God, Harry, I am so sorry! I just couldn't help myself, honestly." She tried not to look directly at him as she spoke as this just seemed to befuddle her already raging hormones! "It is just….Harry, you have got to know….I mean….errrm." In vain, Hermione tried to reach for the fragmented thoughts rushing through her mind and wished that she had insisted that Ron tell Harry, about his changes, instead of her. Harry, still very skittish around her, still tried to make sense out of the garbled sentences coming out of his friend's mouth, tried to convey an attitude of understanding.
"Hermione, really, it is Ok…Just, please…Please, tell me what is going on."
Sighing heavily, Hermione looked at her totally oblivious friend. "You really have no clue, do you Harry?" She gaped in disbelief. Harry looked at her in a confuse manner. God! Thought Hermione, he is so sexy when he gets that little boy lost look on his face. Flushing red, once more, Hermione again tried to convey her message, albeit, in a less physical and more intellectual way. "Harry, haven't you wondered why Ginny won't speak or look at you? She said, raising a brow at Harry in wonder. "Or why all of those girls were following you around in Diagon Alley?" She asked trying to egg on her seemingly dim-witted friend's thought process. When all of her leading questioning got her nothing, but a confused and blank stare from Harry, she decided to be forth-right with her beleaguered friend.
"Harry!" She cried in exasperation. "Those girls WANT YOU! You are HOT, Harry!" She tried again when she, yet again, got no response from her friend. "Haven't you noticed what you look like? How much bigger you have gotten since the end of school?....How tall and muscular and handsome and…..?" Hermione's eyes had started to glaze over again, and she had started to fan her face with her hand.
Deciding to step in before anymore lunging at him took place, Harry gave his friend a skeptical look, "Me, Hermione? I'm…hot?" He asked in a small, bewildered voice that just melted Hermione's already tender heart. Looking at his friend again, Harry finally hit upon a thought. "Is that why you kissed me that way?" Hermione blew a frizzy lock of hair out of her eyes and looked at him in frustration.
"For goodness sakes, Harry! I apologized for that already. I just couldn't help it!" Seeing that Harry was still having a hard time digesting all of this new information, she pulled a mirror out from behind her. "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to bring this out, but I guess you are a little more dense than I thought you would be. Look at yourself Harry, and then tell me you don't understand what I am talking about." Hermione handed him the mirror and trounced off inside the house leaving Harry to ponder over the image reflected back at him in the small oval object.
Ron backed away from the window with a sly smirk on his face. He had watched the whole thing and when his friend came bursting into the kitchen, he pronounced to a fuming and humiliated Hermione, still with the smirk on his face. "Well, I think that went rather well. Don't you think Hermione?" Hermione threw him a disgusted look and sailed past him to stomp up the stairs to her and Ginny's room. Once there, she slammed the door for added emphasis, leaving Ron wincing from the reverberations felt throughout the whole house. Sighing, Ron walked out onto the porch to join a dazed and confused Harry who turned to his amused friend.
"Ron, do you think I'm hot?" He asked absently while still looking at his reflection in the mirror Hermione had so generously given him.
"Ewww! Harry! That is just plain nasty!" declared, a very red, and by now, very unamused and disgusted Ron. Harry put the mirror down, turned to Ron and grinned at him.
"Hermione just told me that I was HOT, Ron!" And for good measure added, "And that's not all, either. She told me that Ginny thought I was HOT too!" Harry blanched at the murderous look on his best friend's freckled face and quickly added, "Errrm, not that I would do anything about with your sister, Ron." And relaxed as Ron's look turned back to smiling and friendly. Ron affectionately smacked Harry on the arm and smiled uncomfortably at his friend.
"Come on Harry. We can talk about this later. Let's go and practice some Quidditch!" Whereupon Harry immediately raced to get his broom and forgot all about Hermione, Ginny and being hot. Ron sighed in relief and went to get his old broom out of the shed. Really, he thought, there is only so much a good friend can take.
The next few days flew by in a flurry of Quidditch practice and both Ginny and Hermione now firmly ensconced in their room; one out of shock and one out of humiliation. Harry was also disappearing for hours at a time and this puzzled Ron to no end. During one such moment, Ron decided to find out just where his friend took off to and what he was doing while there. He climbed the stairs and had just turned to open his door when he heard two voices in his room. Thinking that Harry had Ginny in the room with him, he whipped open the door and goggled at the sight before him.
Harry was standing before the old mirror that hung on the wall between his posters of the Chudley Cannons dressed in a form-fitting red t-shirt and a pair of Levi jeans. This was nothing new to him, though, as Harry had started taking more interest in his clothes since Hermione had told him how HOT he was. No, what boggled Ron's mind was the in depth conversation Harry was having with the, now simpering, mirror. If a mirror had eyes and could bat its eyelashes….this one would be doing it. Staring in disbelief, Ron listened to the conversation Harry and the mirror were in the middle of.
Mirror: Well, hello there handsome.
Harry: Err, hello. How are you today?
Mirror: Never better, now that you are here.
Harry: *Blush*
Mirror: So, what can I do for you today?
Harry: Just wanted to talk to someone, is all.
Mirror: *Purrrr* I'm here for you.
Harry: *Blush* Well….see…..the thing is…..
Mirror: Yeeess?
Harry: The day after tomorrow is our first day of school.
Mirror: *Silence*
Harry: There is this girl that I really like, and I was wondering if you could tell me how I should do my hair and what
I should wear…….
Listening in shock and looking on in horror, Ron could not hold back any longer. "Bloody Hell, Hermione!!" He bellowed in outrage while watching his friend make an ass out of himself in front of a mirror! "You've all but turned him into another bloody Lockhart!!"