Last-meal was like a table of strangers who sat around with just the intentions of eating and scattering as quickly as they could. Obi-Wan was afraid to speak, Xanatos was still too miffed too, and Master Jinn was just fed up with both boys at the table.
Qui-Gon could feel the inner turmoil as it rolled off Obi-Wan. He also could not help but notice the fear that radiated from him. Jinn could not figure out why this boy should fear any Jedi.
//Doesn't he know we don't harm anyone? How can he fear his stay here? It should be so much easier than being a slave to Delbe.//
After last-meal, Qui-Gon sent Obi-Wan to his room with instructions to shower dress for bed and then retire.
Qui-Gon had scheduled classes for Obi-Wan for only half a day because of the boy's previous ill health. Qui-Gon seemed to see a marked improvement since the child had been allowed to stay close to the master. The healers wanted him around Jinn at least half of the day. He could not withstand an entire today of class yet will his weakened condition. Obi-Wan would be in classes, two for now, with initiates his own age. Padawans we who were of that age went to a different class. There were few padawans that young.
Jinn felt the nagging headache appear once Obi-Wan left for class. He imagined Obi-Wan must have felt worse than before because he had to leave Master Jinn, although it was necessary. The healers hoped to keep the two together part of the time and wean them apart gradually.
Obi-Wan had only about an hour of classes left when through the bond even with Jinn shielding, Qui-Gon felt something was wrong with him. No matter how he tried to deny it, worry for the boy embedded itself in the Jedi master's mind and he had to seek out Obi-Wan to find out what the problem was. As Jinn made his way down the hall to Obi-Wan's class room he saw what he thought the problem was. Obi-Wan must have done something to interrupt the clas , the instructor, a young knight had the boy out in the hallway.
Jinn watched as he approached but could not tell what was going on. The young knight, Gayron stood with one arm stretched out and balanced himself against the wall by placing his palm on it. He was in some kind of deep conversation with the former slave.
"I suppose I have to apologize to your class and you, Knight Gayron."
""What?"
Then the knight kind of understood what Jinn meant.
"No, no, Master Jinn the boy has caused no problems, it was the opposite. We had quite a little outburst in there but not due to Obi-Wan's rowdiness."
Obi-Wan dreaded this part. He had been degraded and humiliated in class now he would have to stand there while Master Jinn did the same thing.
//He might not outright laugh, but I will know what he will think about me when he hears this. Nope, won't have to be a Jedi with some bond to know Jinn will think me an idiot for not being able to read more than a small child's book..//
Knight Gayron told Master Jinn what happened and how the children laughed mercilessly when Obi-Wan stood up and could not read the chapter assigned him to read. Qui-Gon realized Xani was right about Obi-Wan educational abilities. He also knew this was partly his fault. He should have used common sense and had the child tested before he was put in a class. It would have avoided the embarrassment Obi had just gone through.
The nagging feeling of sympathy overwhelmed Master Jinn yet again.
//I will help this boy while I can and as long as there is not sign of the dark force in him or he doesn't hurt someone. But I refuse to get emotionally involved. It is the bond that pulls me in that direction, not my own rational thinking.//
Obi-wan thought he would burst in flames just from the heat that collected in his already ruddy cheeks. The scarlet red tinge of humiliation started at his neck and crept up to his face like a vine on a trestle. The tips of his ears burnt with shame//.
Qui-Gon took one glance at Obi-Wan and then returned to his conversation with Obi-Wan's class instructor.
"I will see what I can do. Thank you Knight Gayron for seeing to Obi-Wan. I will discuss this with the council and his healers."
"You know Master Jinn he needs neither of them to help. All he really needs is some one who can tutor him a couple of hours a night. I am sure he will advance up to his grade level quickly with help."
Jinn nodded his head and thanked the knight again for his concern, although he did not understand how the young knight could be so understanding and compassion-filled for Kenobi. All the knights and masters presently at the temple had been told to watch the boy while anywhere in the temple, yet Obi-Wan seemed to have snagged another Jedi on his side. First the healers and now this instructor.
//Why can't anyone else but me see the true boy. They see what Obi-Wan's wants them to see; an angelic-like imp with ginger hair and eyes of aqua. That is not his true self, is it?//
Qui-Gon gently nudged Obi-Wan.
"Come on we are going home."
It sounded odd to say "going home" to this child but yet it felt natural to say those words. They came to and from him without even thinking of it.
Obi-Wan followed obediently behind Master Jinn. He did not want to get too close. He thought Jinn would do what Delbe always did when he caused problems at the Inn. He excepted his fate and would not let tears fall..
//I'm tired of crying my problems away. It doesn't help anyway, they never leave me.//
Obi-Wan went straight to the bedroom, pulled out his little mat and waited for what surely would come when Master Jinn had time for it.
Qui-Gon in the mean time commed Yoda and told him what happened. Yoda explained to Qui-Gon it was up to him to decide what to do about the boy's situation, but that he agreed with the young knight, Obi-Wan needed a tutor in the privacy of the Jinn home where he would not be ridiculed for his lack of academic abilities.
Qui-Gon decided he was in for the day. Someone needed to stay with Obi-Wan and the boy did need to have mid-meal. He had noticed at breakfast the boy ate more than half his food and from how the healers described his eating habits it was a definite improvement.
He decided he would go to his bedroom and put on a loose fitting outer tunic to "bum" around home in.
He entered the room and found Obi-Wan sitting with his legs under him almost in a meditative stance. The boy had his head hung down and did not look up at the Master until Qui-Gon took his belt from his Jedi tunic and called to him.
"Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan raised his head and turned it quickly to see what Master Jinn wanted of him. There in the middle of the room stood Qui-Gon with his tunic belt of fine heavy leather in his right hand. Obi-Wan took it to mean it was his signal to receive his punishment now. The child arose slowly from his mat and stumbled once as he walked over to Master Jinn.
Qui-Gon held the boy's gaze, not sure what Obi-Wan was doing. He did not need him beside him. He only wished to speak with the boy.
Obi-Wan came to within a couple of feet to his "slave master". There he removed both his outer tunic and his lightweight under tunic.
Jinn thought the boy had gone quite mad. Why was he taking his clothes off? Obi looked up to see the hardened confused gaze of Jinn's. The master still did not speak. Now he was curious as to what the boy planned to do after baring his upper torso.
Qui-Gon watched with anticipated curiosity as Obi-Wan turned around and knelt before him with his bare back clearly displayed.
What Master Qui-Gon Jinn saw before him sickened him beyond belief. Being a seasoned senior Master, Qui-Gon thought he had witnessed every cruelty and atrocity done to mankind and beast alike, but Obi-Wan's body revealed yet another act of wanton evil done by one person to another; in this case a child. Kenobi's back bore the scars of abuse which could never be erased mentally or physically thought Master Jinn.
There were marks and scars from previous beatings the boy received, probably at the hands of the pirates and Delbe.. There was not a section of young tender skin that had not been abused and battered by a whip or strap.
"What are you doing child?"
Obi-Wan noticed that the gruff sternness had left the master's voice and was replaced by the more soothing tender one he remembered when he first met the big Jedi.
"Well Master Jinn while I still am a slave of sorts, I intend to do what is expected of me. The Jedi have treated me with kindness, or kindness as they perceive it, for I am still without freedom, however I will repay that kindness with compliance during my discipline. Always before I fought the one brandishing the strap, but I will not fight you. I willingly submit myself to you for punishment I am to receive because of the problem I created in my class. I am past tears now Master Jinn. I will not give you the perverse satisfaction of seeing me shed them."
It was then that Qui-Gon realized where the boy had come up with such a ludicrous idea.
There as he looked in a mirror a crossed the room he saw himself; A towering hulk of a man, Obi-Wan's "Master" or so the boy thought; standing with a leather belt [strap] in his hand.
//He thought I removed my belt to use it on him.//
Jinn dropped to the bed that was directly behind him. It was a good thing it was there for it saved the master from possibly falling straight to the floor. The belt was thrown to the far corner of the room.
Obi-Wan Kenobi had assumed him capable of such abuse to a child. Now the master had to ask himself, what had he done to make this boy think him so capable of such an act of torturous cruelty?………
Jinn did not even think to tell the boy he was not going to be beaten for anything while he was here at the temple, let alone something that was not his fault.
"Obi-Wan come over here to me."
Jinn felt the fear that radiated from the boy and still he could not bring himself to say more that the one small command to Obi-Wan. He was still in shock.
Obi got up from his kneeling position and went to where Master Jinn sat on the bed. He did not see the belt gone from his master's hand. He only saw a very large Jedi sitting on the bed waiting to inflict pain and punishment on him or so Obi-Wan thought. Obi-Wan started to kneel with his back to the Jedi master. Jinn gently took his hand and guided the boy to a keeling position only looking at Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan did not know now what this man planned to do to him.
//Is there another way to inflict torture on me that the Jedi have that I do not know about?//
Obi-Wan let himself wander to the dark recesses of his mind thinking of the torturous things done to him and still he could not fathom what the Master planned to do to him.
"Who did that to you?"
Obi-Wan at first did not know what Master Qui-Gon referred too. Although not forgotten was the abuse, Obi-Wan had placed it back in his mind where it was more tolerable to live with. It finaly occurred to him that Qui-Gon must have seen the marks and scars on his back.
"Master Delbe and the pirates some time, if I didn't work quickly enough."
Jinn became sickened again when the boy called Delbe his "master" His voice had a tone of anger and hostility in it though it was not meant for Obi-Wan it startled and scared the boy when the master spoke again.
"DO NOT call him master. Do you understand?"
"Yes Master I understand."
Jinn drew solace from the title given him by Obi-Wan but not in its usage. The boy referred to him as he did Delbe. He did not refer to him as Master as a Jedi padawan would, denoting trust and confidence for their mentor.
"It is also not necessary for you to call me "Master" either Obi-Wan. For in truth I am only Xanatos' master and not in the way you deem a master to be. Is that understood?"
"Yes sir. I will address you any way you choose sir. You have only to tell me how."
Qui-Gon did not answer the boy's question. He was still in deep thought of what this young man must have gone through.
With no true conscious realization of what he was doing or Obi-Wan's permission, the master gently touched his fingers to the boy's temples.
He entered slowly into Obi-Wan's mind; something he knew he could do if there was a link forming, but had never dared to attempt it before.
//Maybe I should have done this sooner.//
There before him lay the suffering of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The heart break of losing both parents at the same time and his home being burnt to the ground materialized first during the mind link he had formed with the boy with the help of the fledgling bond.. Jinn probed just on the surface of Obi's mind never daring to delve deeper for he did not have too. Again more atrocities done to Obi-Wan on the ship by the pirates became revealed itself to Master Jinn. These would not have left scars at least to the delicate skin of a small boy, they could not been seen for they were hidden in dark corners of Obi-Wan's subconscious, for him to possibly relive whenever they crept from their hiding place.
It was too much for Qui-Gon to bear. He pulled from Obi-Wan's mind so quickly that it caused pain to the boy. Kenobi grabbed his head and let out a slight whimper.
""I am sorry Obi. I did not wish to cause you harm."
"I felt it."
Obi-Wan said with astonishment.
"You were in my mind and you…..you saw what I never wanted anyone to see. How ? WHY?"
Obi-Wan spoke to Qui-Gon but he would not look at him.
"Because of the bond you have tried unsuccessfully tried to forge with me, I was able to mind link with you and see, even felt your memories of the degrading and demoralizing abuse. I did it to get a better understanding of how you suffered to see how I may better deal with you."
"I have tried nothing of the sort Master Jinn. Why won't you believe me when I tell you I did not "will" this bond you keep referring too to form? There were things hidden that no one knows but the guilty one and myself and I wanted it forever kept that way."
Master Jinn still noticed that the child kept his gaze averted away from him.
"You are wrong for I know now and it is of such magnitude that it will never be erased from my mind as I am sure it will never be from yours. However there are people you can talk too that will help you deal with the ugh…the "unspoken " abuse."
Jinn stumbled over the words because he did not want to come right out and say them. He thought Obi's just hearing them would bring undo memory and turmoil from them.
"I suppose you will tell the healers and I will have to go see them and "talk " about it. Well I won't you know. I can't. You should have not seen it either. I meant no one else ever to know, but me."
Obi-Wan hung his head because he was ashamed of the kind of abuse he suffered. He seemed to blame himself for it. His refusal to look at the master only confirmed what Qui-Gon suspected; the boy carried an added and misplaced burden of guilt.
Jinn took his chin and turned his face up because he knew why the child would not look sqaurely at him and he wanted Obi-Wan to know that anything suffered by him by another's hands was not his fault and he should feel no shame.
" Look at me Obi-Wan. There is shame in what the men did to you, but you have no shame to claim and carry the burden of. There are things that sometimes one can not deal with alone, especially a child."
"I don't want you to tell anyone else?"
Pleading piercing blue eyes looked up at the big master.
"Very well child but you will need to talk to someone later, when all this is settled. Come to me if you feel like it since I know part of your secrets, I understand now why you cling so hard to the dark side."
Qui-Gon was not going to change his opinion or theory of why the bond continued to try to form. He was still blinded by Padawan Xanatos' assessment of Obi-Wan and the unwanted bond; the power drawn from and sustained by the dark side.
"Master Jinn for someone who can see as much as you claim, you are blind in many ways. I know of your dark side but I have never embraced it nor would I. I wouldn't if I could. I would never do anything to dishonor my mother and father and I don't care if you believe me or not. Am I too be punished or not? I grow cold."
Obi-Wan grew tired of waiting so he just asked.
Jinn looked at Obi-Wan and couldn't help but smile.. He still hadn't told the boy there would be no punishment today or ever by him or any other Jedi. His new life, after he left here, Jinn realized would be another thing. He had not control of what would happen once the boy was sent to the orphanage or foster home.
"Get dressed. I made no plans to use that belt. I only removed it to put another tunic on, which I will now. I think mid-meal will be slightly later than normal."
He watched as relief but also a little surprise spread over the child's face.
Obi-Wan bashfully realized he jumped to conclusions, all of them wrong. There would be no beating for him today and if Jinn told the truth, any day, as long as he remained with the Jedi……………………….
PEACE ewen
Qui-Gon could feel the inner turmoil as it rolled off Obi-Wan. He also could not help but notice the fear that radiated from him. Jinn could not figure out why this boy should fear any Jedi.
//Doesn't he know we don't harm anyone? How can he fear his stay here? It should be so much easier than being a slave to Delbe.//
After last-meal, Qui-Gon sent Obi-Wan to his room with instructions to shower dress for bed and then retire.
Qui-Gon had scheduled classes for Obi-Wan for only half a day because of the boy's previous ill health. Qui-Gon seemed to see a marked improvement since the child had been allowed to stay close to the master. The healers wanted him around Jinn at least half of the day. He could not withstand an entire today of class yet will his weakened condition. Obi-Wan would be in classes, two for now, with initiates his own age. Padawans we who were of that age went to a different class. There were few padawans that young.
Jinn felt the nagging headache appear once Obi-Wan left for class. He imagined Obi-Wan must have felt worse than before because he had to leave Master Jinn, although it was necessary. The healers hoped to keep the two together part of the time and wean them apart gradually.
Obi-Wan had only about an hour of classes left when through the bond even with Jinn shielding, Qui-Gon felt something was wrong with him. No matter how he tried to deny it, worry for the boy embedded itself in the Jedi master's mind and he had to seek out Obi-Wan to find out what the problem was. As Jinn made his way down the hall to Obi-Wan's class room he saw what he thought the problem was. Obi-Wan must have done something to interrupt the clas , the instructor, a young knight had the boy out in the hallway.
Jinn watched as he approached but could not tell what was going on. The young knight, Gayron stood with one arm stretched out and balanced himself against the wall by placing his palm on it. He was in some kind of deep conversation with the former slave.
"I suppose I have to apologize to your class and you, Knight Gayron."
""What?"
Then the knight kind of understood what Jinn meant.
"No, no, Master Jinn the boy has caused no problems, it was the opposite. We had quite a little outburst in there but not due to Obi-Wan's rowdiness."
Obi-Wan dreaded this part. He had been degraded and humiliated in class now he would have to stand there while Master Jinn did the same thing.
//He might not outright laugh, but I will know what he will think about me when he hears this. Nope, won't have to be a Jedi with some bond to know Jinn will think me an idiot for not being able to read more than a small child's book..//
Knight Gayron told Master Jinn what happened and how the children laughed mercilessly when Obi-Wan stood up and could not read the chapter assigned him to read. Qui-Gon realized Xani was right about Obi-Wan educational abilities. He also knew this was partly his fault. He should have used common sense and had the child tested before he was put in a class. It would have avoided the embarrassment Obi had just gone through.
The nagging feeling of sympathy overwhelmed Master Jinn yet again.
//I will help this boy while I can and as long as there is not sign of the dark force in him or he doesn't hurt someone. But I refuse to get emotionally involved. It is the bond that pulls me in that direction, not my own rational thinking.//
Obi-wan thought he would burst in flames just from the heat that collected in his already ruddy cheeks. The scarlet red tinge of humiliation started at his neck and crept up to his face like a vine on a trestle. The tips of his ears burnt with shame//.
Qui-Gon took one glance at Obi-Wan and then returned to his conversation with Obi-Wan's class instructor.
"I will see what I can do. Thank you Knight Gayron for seeing to Obi-Wan. I will discuss this with the council and his healers."
"You know Master Jinn he needs neither of them to help. All he really needs is some one who can tutor him a couple of hours a night. I am sure he will advance up to his grade level quickly with help."
Jinn nodded his head and thanked the knight again for his concern, although he did not understand how the young knight could be so understanding and compassion-filled for Kenobi. All the knights and masters presently at the temple had been told to watch the boy while anywhere in the temple, yet Obi-Wan seemed to have snagged another Jedi on his side. First the healers and now this instructor.
//Why can't anyone else but me see the true boy. They see what Obi-Wan's wants them to see; an angelic-like imp with ginger hair and eyes of aqua. That is not his true self, is it?//
Qui-Gon gently nudged Obi-Wan.
"Come on we are going home."
It sounded odd to say "going home" to this child but yet it felt natural to say those words. They came to and from him without even thinking of it.
Obi-Wan followed obediently behind Master Jinn. He did not want to get too close. He thought Jinn would do what Delbe always did when he caused problems at the Inn. He excepted his fate and would not let tears fall..
//I'm tired of crying my problems away. It doesn't help anyway, they never leave me.//
Obi-Wan went straight to the bedroom, pulled out his little mat and waited for what surely would come when Master Jinn had time for it.
Qui-Gon in the mean time commed Yoda and told him what happened. Yoda explained to Qui-Gon it was up to him to decide what to do about the boy's situation, but that he agreed with the young knight, Obi-Wan needed a tutor in the privacy of the Jinn home where he would not be ridiculed for his lack of academic abilities.
Qui-Gon decided he was in for the day. Someone needed to stay with Obi-Wan and the boy did need to have mid-meal. He had noticed at breakfast the boy ate more than half his food and from how the healers described his eating habits it was a definite improvement.
He decided he would go to his bedroom and put on a loose fitting outer tunic to "bum" around home in.
He entered the room and found Obi-Wan sitting with his legs under him almost in a meditative stance. The boy had his head hung down and did not look up at the Master until Qui-Gon took his belt from his Jedi tunic and called to him.
"Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan raised his head and turned it quickly to see what Master Jinn wanted of him. There in the middle of the room stood Qui-Gon with his tunic belt of fine heavy leather in his right hand. Obi-Wan took it to mean it was his signal to receive his punishment now. The child arose slowly from his mat and stumbled once as he walked over to Master Jinn.
Qui-Gon held the boy's gaze, not sure what Obi-Wan was doing. He did not need him beside him. He only wished to speak with the boy.
Obi-Wan came to within a couple of feet to his "slave master". There he removed both his outer tunic and his lightweight under tunic.
Jinn thought the boy had gone quite mad. Why was he taking his clothes off? Obi looked up to see the hardened confused gaze of Jinn's. The master still did not speak. Now he was curious as to what the boy planned to do after baring his upper torso.
Qui-Gon watched with anticipated curiosity as Obi-Wan turned around and knelt before him with his bare back clearly displayed.
What Master Qui-Gon Jinn saw before him sickened him beyond belief. Being a seasoned senior Master, Qui-Gon thought he had witnessed every cruelty and atrocity done to mankind and beast alike, but Obi-Wan's body revealed yet another act of wanton evil done by one person to another; in this case a child. Kenobi's back bore the scars of abuse which could never be erased mentally or physically thought Master Jinn.
There were marks and scars from previous beatings the boy received, probably at the hands of the pirates and Delbe.. There was not a section of young tender skin that had not been abused and battered by a whip or strap.
"What are you doing child?"
Obi-Wan noticed that the gruff sternness had left the master's voice and was replaced by the more soothing tender one he remembered when he first met the big Jedi.
"Well Master Jinn while I still am a slave of sorts, I intend to do what is expected of me. The Jedi have treated me with kindness, or kindness as they perceive it, for I am still without freedom, however I will repay that kindness with compliance during my discipline. Always before I fought the one brandishing the strap, but I will not fight you. I willingly submit myself to you for punishment I am to receive because of the problem I created in my class. I am past tears now Master Jinn. I will not give you the perverse satisfaction of seeing me shed them."
It was then that Qui-Gon realized where the boy had come up with such a ludicrous idea.
There as he looked in a mirror a crossed the room he saw himself; A towering hulk of a man, Obi-Wan's "Master" or so the boy thought; standing with a leather belt [strap] in his hand.
//He thought I removed my belt to use it on him.//
Jinn dropped to the bed that was directly behind him. It was a good thing it was there for it saved the master from possibly falling straight to the floor. The belt was thrown to the far corner of the room.
Obi-Wan Kenobi had assumed him capable of such abuse to a child. Now the master had to ask himself, what had he done to make this boy think him so capable of such an act of torturous cruelty?………
Jinn did not even think to tell the boy he was not going to be beaten for anything while he was here at the temple, let alone something that was not his fault.
"Obi-Wan come over here to me."
Jinn felt the fear that radiated from the boy and still he could not bring himself to say more that the one small command to Obi-Wan. He was still in shock.
Obi got up from his kneeling position and went to where Master Jinn sat on the bed. He did not see the belt gone from his master's hand. He only saw a very large Jedi sitting on the bed waiting to inflict pain and punishment on him or so Obi-Wan thought. Obi-Wan started to kneel with his back to the Jedi master. Jinn gently took his hand and guided the boy to a keeling position only looking at Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan did not know now what this man planned to do to him.
//Is there another way to inflict torture on me that the Jedi have that I do not know about?//
Obi-Wan let himself wander to the dark recesses of his mind thinking of the torturous things done to him and still he could not fathom what the Master planned to do to him.
"Who did that to you?"
Obi-Wan at first did not know what Master Qui-Gon referred too. Although not forgotten was the abuse, Obi-Wan had placed it back in his mind where it was more tolerable to live with. It finaly occurred to him that Qui-Gon must have seen the marks and scars on his back.
"Master Delbe and the pirates some time, if I didn't work quickly enough."
Jinn became sickened again when the boy called Delbe his "master" His voice had a tone of anger and hostility in it though it was not meant for Obi-Wan it startled and scared the boy when the master spoke again.
"DO NOT call him master. Do you understand?"
"Yes Master I understand."
Jinn drew solace from the title given him by Obi-Wan but not in its usage. The boy referred to him as he did Delbe. He did not refer to him as Master as a Jedi padawan would, denoting trust and confidence for their mentor.
"It is also not necessary for you to call me "Master" either Obi-Wan. For in truth I am only Xanatos' master and not in the way you deem a master to be. Is that understood?"
"Yes sir. I will address you any way you choose sir. You have only to tell me how."
Qui-Gon did not answer the boy's question. He was still in deep thought of what this young man must have gone through.
With no true conscious realization of what he was doing or Obi-Wan's permission, the master gently touched his fingers to the boy's temples.
He entered slowly into Obi-Wan's mind; something he knew he could do if there was a link forming, but had never dared to attempt it before.
//Maybe I should have done this sooner.//
There before him lay the suffering of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The heart break of losing both parents at the same time and his home being burnt to the ground materialized first during the mind link he had formed with the boy with the help of the fledgling bond.. Jinn probed just on the surface of Obi's mind never daring to delve deeper for he did not have too. Again more atrocities done to Obi-Wan on the ship by the pirates became revealed itself to Master Jinn. These would not have left scars at least to the delicate skin of a small boy, they could not been seen for they were hidden in dark corners of Obi-Wan's subconscious, for him to possibly relive whenever they crept from their hiding place.
It was too much for Qui-Gon to bear. He pulled from Obi-Wan's mind so quickly that it caused pain to the boy. Kenobi grabbed his head and let out a slight whimper.
""I am sorry Obi. I did not wish to cause you harm."
"I felt it."
Obi-Wan said with astonishment.
"You were in my mind and you…..you saw what I never wanted anyone to see. How ? WHY?"
Obi-Wan spoke to Qui-Gon but he would not look at him.
"Because of the bond you have tried unsuccessfully tried to forge with me, I was able to mind link with you and see, even felt your memories of the degrading and demoralizing abuse. I did it to get a better understanding of how you suffered to see how I may better deal with you."
"I have tried nothing of the sort Master Jinn. Why won't you believe me when I tell you I did not "will" this bond you keep referring too to form? There were things hidden that no one knows but the guilty one and myself and I wanted it forever kept that way."
Master Jinn still noticed that the child kept his gaze averted away from him.
"You are wrong for I know now and it is of such magnitude that it will never be erased from my mind as I am sure it will never be from yours. However there are people you can talk too that will help you deal with the ugh…the "unspoken " abuse."
Jinn stumbled over the words because he did not want to come right out and say them. He thought Obi's just hearing them would bring undo memory and turmoil from them.
"I suppose you will tell the healers and I will have to go see them and "talk " about it. Well I won't you know. I can't. You should have not seen it either. I meant no one else ever to know, but me."
Obi-Wan hung his head because he was ashamed of the kind of abuse he suffered. He seemed to blame himself for it. His refusal to look at the master only confirmed what Qui-Gon suspected; the boy carried an added and misplaced burden of guilt.
Jinn took his chin and turned his face up because he knew why the child would not look sqaurely at him and he wanted Obi-Wan to know that anything suffered by him by another's hands was not his fault and he should feel no shame.
" Look at me Obi-Wan. There is shame in what the men did to you, but you have no shame to claim and carry the burden of. There are things that sometimes one can not deal with alone, especially a child."
"I don't want you to tell anyone else?"
Pleading piercing blue eyes looked up at the big master.
"Very well child but you will need to talk to someone later, when all this is settled. Come to me if you feel like it since I know part of your secrets, I understand now why you cling so hard to the dark side."
Qui-Gon was not going to change his opinion or theory of why the bond continued to try to form. He was still blinded by Padawan Xanatos' assessment of Obi-Wan and the unwanted bond; the power drawn from and sustained by the dark side.
"Master Jinn for someone who can see as much as you claim, you are blind in many ways. I know of your dark side but I have never embraced it nor would I. I wouldn't if I could. I would never do anything to dishonor my mother and father and I don't care if you believe me or not. Am I too be punished or not? I grow cold."
Obi-Wan grew tired of waiting so he just asked.
Jinn looked at Obi-Wan and couldn't help but smile.. He still hadn't told the boy there would be no punishment today or ever by him or any other Jedi. His new life, after he left here, Jinn realized would be another thing. He had not control of what would happen once the boy was sent to the orphanage or foster home.
"Get dressed. I made no plans to use that belt. I only removed it to put another tunic on, which I will now. I think mid-meal will be slightly later than normal."
He watched as relief but also a little surprise spread over the child's face.
Obi-Wan bashfully realized he jumped to conclusions, all of them wrong. There would be no beating for him today and if Jinn told the truth, any day, as long as he remained with the Jedi……………………….
PEACE ewen