Once again, yo no owno anything.
Episode 3
Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. In reaction to what happened before the commercial break, I advise everyone, SARS is no more living on this stage. Let's look at our three special MGS contestants. Returning once again, is Solid Snake with -$13.
Snake: Can I ask the audience somrthing? If any of you f***ed a woman named Olga and know where her child is, can you inform me, please?
Trebek: Once again, Snake, that was only an act, stop living in your fantasy world. Next is twin brother Liquid Snake, also with -$13.
Liquid: See Trebek, our genetic codes identical, so whatever amount of pounds he earns, I earn.
Trebek: It is dollars you stupid Brit (no offence to British ppl). Lastly we have. . . It appears that our third contestant has contracted SARS due to our two other contestants and will be replaced. I bet it is Sean Connery. I just found out it is NOT Sean Connery, but our replacement is Burt Reynolds.
Burt: Hey Alex, its an honor to compete against James Bond and Goldilocks.
Alex: That is not James Bond and Goldilocks, that is Solid and Liquid Snake.
Burt: . . . No that's James Bond. And that's Goldilocks 'cause he has, uggghh, uhh blonde hair.
Trebek: Whatever. Let's take a look at the categories. They are POTENT POTABLES, WET THINGS, IS THIS HARD OR SOFT, THE MOLE STORES, these are stores in which are owned by moles, and since they can't own stores, the answer for each question is "no", COLORS, TYPES OF CLOTHES THAT END IN "WEATER", and finally, STATES THAT NEW YORK CITY IS IN. Burt Reynolds we will start with you unfortunately.
Burt: Gimme uhhh . . . gimme the color one.
Trebek: OK, COLORS for $200. This is the color grass is.
Trebek: Liquid.
Liquid: The same color as my dead brother!
Trebek: Uhh no. Not only is that wrong, but it didn't make sense. Solid Snake.
Snake: The same color as my dea-
Trebek: That was already given. Why did you same the same thing.
Snake: I thought since Liquid's the inferior one, I'll get it right instead.
Trebek: Wow. Mr Reynolds.
Burt: What is orange.
Trebek: No that isn't right.
Burt: . . . Yeah it's right. That's the color of my ass.
Trebek: It's grass, not ass. The correct answer was green. Green is the color of grass. What is it Liquid.
Liquid: Then what's the color of Burt Reynold's bloody ass!
Trebek I assume that means WET THINGS for $800. This wet liquid comes from a kitchen faucet. Solid Snake.
Snake: LIQUID! He can't be in the question. I'm the superior brother!
Liquid: Hahaha. Metal Gear is mine.
Trebek: I don't understand why they haven't mad the stage an insane asylum yet. Mr. Reynolds, pick another category.
Burt: Gimme . . . THE MOLESTORS for $10,000.
Trebek: That's MOLE STORES, not MOLESTORS.
Burt: Nah it's MOLESTORS, you made a typo with the extra E, besides MOLE STORES don't exist.
Trebek: That's correct, oddly. How long has it been since I said someone was correct. You get all the money in the category. Pick another one.
Burt: Gimme MOLE STORES for $3.
Trebek: You answered correctly on all those questions by saying mole stores don't exist.
Burt: Sure they do, I've been to one, they sell good pancakes.
Trebek: Moles can't make pancakes,
Burt: Yeah well that's your opinion.
Trebek: Uhhh . . . Snake, Mr. Reynolds is working for Liquid.
Snake: DIE!
Trebek: Mr. Reynolds are you aware of a bullet lodged in your head.
Burt: Huh huh, yeah, it's funny.
Trebek: No it isn't, you could die.
Burt: That makes it more funny.
Liquid: Y'know Snake I never seen that bloody bastard in my whole life.
Snake: Oh, my bad. Here, have a cookie.
Trebek: Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. And the category is, HOW OLD ARE YOU. To get this correct, write how old you are.
Trebek: You can write a number, you can write old, or young, or you can write in the form of "somewhere between 0-100 years old."
Trebek: OK, Snake, all you had to do was write your age, you wrote, old enough to know what death, in parenthesis (Liquid's death), looks like. You're old enough o know hat his death is like. He hasn't even died yet.
Snake: He isn't, my bad have a cookie.
Liquid: Thanks, but it's not tea time yet. I'll just shove it in Mr. Reynold's mouth.
Trebek: Anyway Snake, you wagered, a pack of cigarettes. You wagered a pack of cigarettes. Unbelievable. Liquid, you wrote, I AM Big Boss! Once again, no you are not.
Liquid: From now on call this stage, "Outer Heaven."
Trebek: How 'bout we call it the KILL SEAN CONNERY CONVENTION.
Liquid: Even better! I think FOXHOUND has a place for you. You could be, Jeopardy Chicken.
Trebek: Woo-hoo, I am member of a non-existant group of idiots. Finally Burt Reynolds, you wrote . . . nothing. You wrote nothing.
Burt: Sure I did. I wrote
Trebek: It appears that Mr. Reynolds has blown up. I'm going home now to pick his pieces of his dead carcass off my body. Good night everyone.
Episode 3
Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. In reaction to what happened before the commercial break, I advise everyone, SARS is no more living on this stage. Let's look at our three special MGS contestants. Returning once again, is Solid Snake with -$13.
Snake: Can I ask the audience somrthing? If any of you f***ed a woman named Olga and know where her child is, can you inform me, please?
Trebek: Once again, Snake, that was only an act, stop living in your fantasy world. Next is twin brother Liquid Snake, also with -$13.
Liquid: See Trebek, our genetic codes identical, so whatever amount of pounds he earns, I earn.
Trebek: It is dollars you stupid Brit (no offence to British ppl). Lastly we have. . . It appears that our third contestant has contracted SARS due to our two other contestants and will be replaced. I bet it is Sean Connery. I just found out it is NOT Sean Connery, but our replacement is Burt Reynolds.
Burt: Hey Alex, its an honor to compete against James Bond and Goldilocks.
Alex: That is not James Bond and Goldilocks, that is Solid and Liquid Snake.
Burt: . . . No that's James Bond. And that's Goldilocks 'cause he has, uggghh, uhh blonde hair.
Trebek: Whatever. Let's take a look at the categories. They are POTENT POTABLES, WET THINGS, IS THIS HARD OR SOFT, THE MOLE STORES, these are stores in which are owned by moles, and since they can't own stores, the answer for each question is "no", COLORS, TYPES OF CLOTHES THAT END IN "WEATER", and finally, STATES THAT NEW YORK CITY IS IN. Burt Reynolds we will start with you unfortunately.
Burt: Gimme uhhh . . . gimme the color one.
Trebek: OK, COLORS for $200. This is the color grass is.
Trebek: Liquid.
Liquid: The same color as my dead brother!
Trebek: Uhh no. Not only is that wrong, but it didn't make sense. Solid Snake.
Snake: The same color as my dea-
Trebek: That was already given. Why did you same the same thing.
Snake: I thought since Liquid's the inferior one, I'll get it right instead.
Trebek: Wow. Mr Reynolds.
Burt: What is orange.
Trebek: No that isn't right.
Burt: . . . Yeah it's right. That's the color of my ass.
Trebek: It's grass, not ass. The correct answer was green. Green is the color of grass. What is it Liquid.
Liquid: Then what's the color of Burt Reynold's bloody ass!
Trebek I assume that means WET THINGS for $800. This wet liquid comes from a kitchen faucet. Solid Snake.
Snake: LIQUID! He can't be in the question. I'm the superior brother!
Liquid: Hahaha. Metal Gear is mine.
Trebek: I don't understand why they haven't mad the stage an insane asylum yet. Mr. Reynolds, pick another category.
Burt: Gimme . . . THE MOLESTORS for $10,000.
Trebek: That's MOLE STORES, not MOLESTORS.
Burt: Nah it's MOLESTORS, you made a typo with the extra E, besides MOLE STORES don't exist.
Trebek: That's correct, oddly. How long has it been since I said someone was correct. You get all the money in the category. Pick another one.
Burt: Gimme MOLE STORES for $3.
Trebek: You answered correctly on all those questions by saying mole stores don't exist.
Burt: Sure they do, I've been to one, they sell good pancakes.
Trebek: Moles can't make pancakes,
Burt: Yeah well that's your opinion.
Trebek: Uhhh . . . Snake, Mr. Reynolds is working for Liquid.
Snake: DIE!
Trebek: Mr. Reynolds are you aware of a bullet lodged in your head.
Burt: Huh huh, yeah, it's funny.
Trebek: No it isn't, you could die.
Burt: That makes it more funny.
Liquid: Y'know Snake I never seen that bloody bastard in my whole life.
Snake: Oh, my bad. Here, have a cookie.
Trebek: Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. And the category is, HOW OLD ARE YOU. To get this correct, write how old you are.
Trebek: You can write a number, you can write old, or young, or you can write in the form of "somewhere between 0-100 years old."
Trebek: OK, Snake, all you had to do was write your age, you wrote, old enough to know what death, in parenthesis (Liquid's death), looks like. You're old enough o know hat his death is like. He hasn't even died yet.
Snake: He isn't, my bad have a cookie.
Liquid: Thanks, but it's not tea time yet. I'll just shove it in Mr. Reynold's mouth.
Trebek: Anyway Snake, you wagered, a pack of cigarettes. You wagered a pack of cigarettes. Unbelievable. Liquid, you wrote, I AM Big Boss! Once again, no you are not.
Liquid: From now on call this stage, "Outer Heaven."
Trebek: How 'bout we call it the KILL SEAN CONNERY CONVENTION.
Liquid: Even better! I think FOXHOUND has a place for you. You could be, Jeopardy Chicken.
Trebek: Woo-hoo, I am member of a non-existant group of idiots. Finally Burt Reynolds, you wrote . . . nothing. You wrote nothing.
Burt: Sure I did. I wrote
Trebek: It appears that Mr. Reynolds has blown up. I'm going home now to pick his pieces of his dead carcass off my body. Good night everyone.