DISCLAIMER ~ I TAKE FULL COPYWRITING RIGHTS FOR THIS STORY. IF YOU TRY TO
TAKE THIS STORY AND SAY THAT IT IS YOURS PREPARE TO BE HUNTED DOWN AND
SHOT. NO ONE WILL FIND YOUR BODY OR KNOW THAT I DID IT BECAUSE I WATCHED
"MURDER BY NUMBERS" AND I LEARNED FROM THEIR MISTAKES! (EVIL LAUGHS) I WILL
ALSO SNATCH ALL YOUR KNICKERS AND UNTIE ALL YOUR SHOELACES!! ~ LUV Jenna.
Day 3: March 19, 2003
6:00 am
Woke DHP up earlier than she wanted. She got all in a tissy. She was so mad that she said, "Why don't you take your DIARY and go over there and write in it!!" THE NERVE!! It is a JOURNAL not a diary. Girls really do annoy me.
8:00 am
My Plan To Take Over The World is starting slowly today. I plan to talk to DHP about this.
8:05 am
I attempted to talk to The Semi-Destructive Penguin and presently got slapped back to where I was sitting earlier. (Semi-Destructive INDEED!) Little did she know that, in truth, I used my new-found flying ability! I have noticed that some humans have been able to make a robot open and close for them allowing them in or out of the Quik-e-Mart. I decided to give DHP the privilege of carrying me inside.
9:00 am
We tried to get in, but the robot wouldn't let us. Finally a human came out, so DHP waddled me in. I crawled around and then I found some gum. I hid it under my shell and had DHP waddle me out again. The robot stared at me accusingly, so I started to cry. Then we were let through.
12:00 pm
DHP informed me that the only reason I cried is because I have salt glands behind my eyes. I don't believe her. What I do believe is that we've found yet another mysterious part of me! MY ACTING ABLITY!!!
12:30 pm
I'm moving around pretty sluggishly. DHP is still not talking to me. I don't understand her at all. I was lazing around and feeling very cheery (hurrah!) about having found that nice piece of gum. I think I'll take it out and chew it.
1:00 pm
I decided to study my gum instead of eat it. I have noticed that my friendly piece of gum has a smile! It stares at me too. I think I'll name it "GuM"! YES! Evil laughing time.
1:30 pm
It talked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear by all that is green, it talked! I think I'll try talking back.
2:30 pm
DHP has been glaring at me for the past hour. She's just jealous that I have a new friend. GuM has turned out to be quite the conversationalist, by the way. And it is so happy it never stops smiling. I told it about My Plan To Take Over The World. It occurs to me I never told you, my puny minded friend, what My Plan was either! Well, here it is: I'm going to untie every single persons shoelaces. Isn't it the most nifty and inspired thing you've ever heard?! If people are falling all over the place, tripping eachother and themselves by stepping on other shoelaces they'll have no where to turn (except for the floor) and me. I'll be the only one who won't get tripped up and they will have to aske me, "Please, Mister The Evil Turtle, help us tie our shoes!" And I'll say, "That's KING The Evil Turtle to YOU!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA (Evil laughing time) MUAHAHAHAHAHA--
2:40 pm
We are going to leave the QeM now. I'm excited, and so is GuM. Oh, and so is DHP.
3:30 pm
DHP saw that there was a truck stopped in one of the designated stopping areas. She presently picked me up and threw me in the back, then climbed up and fell over the side. I commented that it had been very graceful, but that I had thought if she flew it would have been even MORE graceful. She "harrumphed" and turned the other way.
4:00 pm
DHP has come up with another idea for My Plan To Take Over The World! She casually sided up to me while I was talking to GuM about Life, the Universe and Everything, and said, "What about stealing knickers?" She really floors me sometimes. It was like an epiphany. STEALING KNICERS!!!! It is the greatest idea ever! I asked her why and she simply stated: "Well, if people's shoes are untied by you and their knickers taken by me then they have to bow down to you to get you to tie their shoes, and then you can be the only one to be able to get the knickers back from me! They will have to let you take over the world then!" She really is ingenious; in a weird, female way- never mind! We've decided to call it Operation StK.
6:00 pm
The, er, truck is, well, (yawn) putting me to sleep with the lolling bouncing motions. DHP already fell asleep. (yawn) well, goodnight. At least Phase 3 was finished. I think I have a little time for a (yawn) small amount of evil laughter. Yes of course I do. Oh, and by the way, Phase 4 is ______________
~Ok, if you couldn't understand: He stole a piece of gum from the Quik-e- Mart and thought himself the criminal mastermind. He ended up being able to cry because of salt glands behind the eyes. He believes that he can fly and that he can act. He has started to talk to the piece of gum that he found on the floor inside QeM and thinks it's smiling because the wrapper has a crease on it from being stepped on. They hitched a ride with a truck, and The Evil Turtle fell asleep while writing, thus the line. Ok! ~ Luv, Jenna.
Day 3: March 19, 2003
6:00 am
Woke DHP up earlier than she wanted. She got all in a tissy. She was so mad that she said, "Why don't you take your DIARY and go over there and write in it!!" THE NERVE!! It is a JOURNAL not a diary. Girls really do annoy me.
8:00 am
My Plan To Take Over The World is starting slowly today. I plan to talk to DHP about this.
8:05 am
I attempted to talk to The Semi-Destructive Penguin and presently got slapped back to where I was sitting earlier. (Semi-Destructive INDEED!) Little did she know that, in truth, I used my new-found flying ability! I have noticed that some humans have been able to make a robot open and close for them allowing them in or out of the Quik-e-Mart. I decided to give DHP the privilege of carrying me inside.
9:00 am
We tried to get in, but the robot wouldn't let us. Finally a human came out, so DHP waddled me in. I crawled around and then I found some gum. I hid it under my shell and had DHP waddle me out again. The robot stared at me accusingly, so I started to cry. Then we were let through.
12:00 pm
DHP informed me that the only reason I cried is because I have salt glands behind my eyes. I don't believe her. What I do believe is that we've found yet another mysterious part of me! MY ACTING ABLITY!!!
12:30 pm
I'm moving around pretty sluggishly. DHP is still not talking to me. I don't understand her at all. I was lazing around and feeling very cheery (hurrah!) about having found that nice piece of gum. I think I'll take it out and chew it.
1:00 pm
I decided to study my gum instead of eat it. I have noticed that my friendly piece of gum has a smile! It stares at me too. I think I'll name it "GuM"! YES! Evil laughing time.
1:30 pm
It talked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear by all that is green, it talked! I think I'll try talking back.
2:30 pm
DHP has been glaring at me for the past hour. She's just jealous that I have a new friend. GuM has turned out to be quite the conversationalist, by the way. And it is so happy it never stops smiling. I told it about My Plan To Take Over The World. It occurs to me I never told you, my puny minded friend, what My Plan was either! Well, here it is: I'm going to untie every single persons shoelaces. Isn't it the most nifty and inspired thing you've ever heard?! If people are falling all over the place, tripping eachother and themselves by stepping on other shoelaces they'll have no where to turn (except for the floor) and me. I'll be the only one who won't get tripped up and they will have to aske me, "Please, Mister The Evil Turtle, help us tie our shoes!" And I'll say, "That's KING The Evil Turtle to YOU!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA (Evil laughing time) MUAHAHAHAHAHA--
2:40 pm
We are going to leave the QeM now. I'm excited, and so is GuM. Oh, and so is DHP.
3:30 pm
DHP saw that there was a truck stopped in one of the designated stopping areas. She presently picked me up and threw me in the back, then climbed up and fell over the side. I commented that it had been very graceful, but that I had thought if she flew it would have been even MORE graceful. She "harrumphed" and turned the other way.
4:00 pm
DHP has come up with another idea for My Plan To Take Over The World! She casually sided up to me while I was talking to GuM about Life, the Universe and Everything, and said, "What about stealing knickers?" She really floors me sometimes. It was like an epiphany. STEALING KNICERS!!!! It is the greatest idea ever! I asked her why and she simply stated: "Well, if people's shoes are untied by you and their knickers taken by me then they have to bow down to you to get you to tie their shoes, and then you can be the only one to be able to get the knickers back from me! They will have to let you take over the world then!" She really is ingenious; in a weird, female way- never mind! We've decided to call it Operation StK.
6:00 pm
The, er, truck is, well, (yawn) putting me to sleep with the lolling bouncing motions. DHP already fell asleep. (yawn) well, goodnight. At least Phase 3 was finished. I think I have a little time for a (yawn) small amount of evil laughter. Yes of course I do. Oh, and by the way, Phase 4 is ______________
~Ok, if you couldn't understand: He stole a piece of gum from the Quik-e- Mart and thought himself the criminal mastermind. He ended up being able to cry because of salt glands behind the eyes. He believes that he can fly and that he can act. He has started to talk to the piece of gum that he found on the floor inside QeM and thinks it's smiling because the wrapper has a crease on it from being stepped on. They hitched a ride with a truck, and The Evil Turtle fell asleep while writing, thus the line. Ok! ~ Luv, Jenna.