"Quit trying to chop through the air like you are cutting down weeds. Use the force Obi-Wan to let yourself be guided smoothly, not just waving it it mid-air in a feeble attempt to hit one."
It was the fifth or sixth time Jinn and Kenobi had gone over this maneuver in saber training. That had been at this one simple movement for over three hours and Obi-Wan was not advancing his understanding of it or his ability to complete it.
Qui-Gon went down on the practice floor, adjusted Obi-Wan's stance, and the way he held his saber. Then he activated the machine that threw the attack orbs at Obi-Wan. He would probably be busy all evening healing the numerous burns the child had received that day from the orbs he has missed as they plowed into him. It was something all padawans went through. Not truly injured just their pride more than their body.
Qui-Gon went up to sit high in the bleacher seating where Mace sat and watched Obi and others as they practiced.
"I tell you Mace I think I am getting too old for this."
"Nay, you aren't. You just need to practice some of that JedI patience we have been taught all of our life. You have to remember that Obi-Wan is a lot younger than the padawan you had. I mean can't you remember how hard it was to train Xani, in the beginning?"
"Was it truly this hard? Maybe I have "bitten off more than I can chew" sorta speak. I mean I thought if his midichlorians were so high, things controlled by the force would just come naturally to him."
"Do you think a genius with an extremely high I. Q. was born with the knowledge of speech or of reading? No matter how intelligent they were, they had to be taught. Just like with Obi-Wan and his midichlorians. He still has to be taught and I can think of no master better than you to do it."
"You can just save that flattery of yours. It is still your turn to buy last- meal out tonight."
"That's not fair. Obi-Wan eats for three."
The joking between the two halted when Jinn noticed Obi-Wan had stopped doing his practicing, without permission
Jinn went back down on the floor to see if maybe the child had been hurt.
"Obi-Wan did you get hurt?"
"No Master"
Obi-Wan continued to stare at the floor.
"Then why have you stopped? I don't remember telling you that you could."
"I know I was just getting to frustrated."
"That doesn't matter. It is for me to say when you may stop. Now go back on the floor and start all over."
Obi-Wan slammed his practice saber down. Several of the other padawans looked up to see what the noise was and quickly turned away. They did not be reprimanded by Master Jinn.
"Very well, go to our room and meditate. Maybe you can better grasp the force that way."
"No, I will try it again"
Obi could feel that he had disappointed his master. He however did not feel anger coming from Qui-Gon.
"No I do not wish you try again today or any other day until you set your mind to what you are doing. I asked you to reach for the force. You know you are blessed with it mightily, but you refuse to concentrate and let the force flow through you and the motions you make. They are choppy, not fluid as they should be. You do not follow through with your attempted strikes with the saber. Obi-Wan still could not feel any anger coming from his master and that was perplexing. Obi thought he would rather have his master angry than the way he was now.
Obi-Wan started to pick the training saber up and Jinn reached out and took his arm to stop him.
"Maybe I did not make myself clear enough. I do not wish you to touch a saber even the training one until you are more focused. That will mean of course that our plan to have you start making your own saber for the mission is now put on hold."
"But master, we will be going on the mission soon and I won't have a saber."
"Then I think you better focus really hard. I would hate to be the only master to have a padawan not trained enough to carry his own saber on his first mission. That would be a dark mark on that padawan."
Obi would have liked to think that his master was just kidding and that he would let him make a saber. However, Obi was beginning to know this master very well and something told him that if he did not get his "act" together, Master Jinn spoke the truth. His master would indeed delay the making of his saber until he was satisfied that Obi-Wan could use it correctly. Obi-Wan flushed a deep pink and got up. He bowed respectively to his master and left to do as he was told.
Obi-Wan was frustrated but not with his master He was annoyed with himself for not grasping the force as his master thought he should so easily should be able too. He thought he had shamed himself and in turn his master by his actions and outburst on the gym floor.
As he left the auditorium, he saw his master go up and greet Knight Gayron and Xanatos.
While Jinn talked to Gayron more than likely about the mission Obi thought, he could not help but notice Xani flash him a look of disgust.
//I guess I showed everyone here that as weak as Xani and my master's bond was, Xani was still a better padawan to him than I am. My master seems to glow at the sight of his former padawan. Wonder if he regrets giving up Xani to train me? //
Obi-Wan had just put on his padawan outfit when he noticed Xanatos come into the shower area. Obi-Wan wondered why he would be here since he did not even practice with them. This session was for the younger padawans, his age, not Xanatos'.
"Don't feel so bad Obi-Wan. I was not perfect when I started either. Although I think my master thought with such a close bond and so much power that your are suppose to possess, you should have been able to execute the most simplest of movements. He went into great detail with my master how poorly you have done today. I guess maybe your saber practice today has taken a little shine off you in my old masters' eyes. Maybe he does not see you as that Super Jedi he was so excited to teach. Master always liked a challenge, but in your case, It think he is becoming sorely disappointed and at a fast rate of speed. I think when he has you do a couple of katas with your clumsiness and inability to grasp the force as he said; you'll have him regretting altogether that he ever wanted you over me."
Obi-Wan could not figure out why Xanatos was being so cruel. He was the one who wanted to leave his master to become the padawan to Knight Gayron.
//Why now would he speak so harshly to me? Not that what he said was not true, at least about me. Master Jinn will regret he ever took me if I do not get the knack for this grasping of the force thing. Sometimes I do not even know what they are talking about. What if I mess up on the mission and my master is harmed because of my inability to do anything a padawan does to help protect his master? //
Qui-Gon could not help but notice that Obi-Wan had positioned himself over by the big bay window. He must have migrated there in a fit of depression thought his master. Obi-Wan had not been there since he found out that he had his powers back and that the council agreed to give him a test mission to see if he could be trained.
Jinn went straight to the kitchen to put some dry-goods away. He looked up to see the boy staring at him. Obi-Wan had to turn his head and crane his neck up and over the break-fast bar to see through the little portal between the common room and the kitchen.
"Are we sulking padawan?"
"No master "we" aren't doing anything. I am sulking and I have found that I have become quite good at it."
Obi tried to break the tension between he and his master.
"Do you think I treated you unfairly Obi-Wan; any different than I would have another apprentice?"
"Did Xanatos ever get your harsh words like the ones I got today for not doing well in his saber class?"
"Xanatos never, "not did well in his class"."
Jinn regretted the words as soon as he said them. It wasn't good to ever compare padawans especially to their face.
"What I mean is when Xani came to me, he was quite astute in the use of the saber. He is now considered the best in the senior padawans."
"Oh."
That one word did not tell Jinn much about what Obi-Wan thought.
"Do you think me unfair today? It takes a simple reply of yes or no to a simple question."
"I guess not."
"Jedi do not guess Obi-Wan. Either you feel I was too harsh on you or you don't."
"Well you seemed kinda mean."
Qui-Gon finished putting the last of the supplies away and walked into the common room.
Obi-Wan would have preferred he stayed in the kitchen. It seemed to be better if he spoke to his master with him further away. Not that he was afraid of Qui-Gon, he just didn't want Jinn to see the misery in his face.
Qui plopped down on a floor pillow next to where Obi-Wan sat.
"I don't think your abilities with the saber is the cause. You are not willing to trust the force."
A little anger could be felt a crossed their bond.
"So sorry master, but aside from you, I find it extremely difficult to trust anything in my life. My parents, I trusted them, now they are gone. There was certainly no trust at the Inn where I worked and then the pirates. The pirates…."
Obi let his voice trail off while he remembered the horrors, almost forgotten with the help and kindness of Qui-Gon. His master had helped him a great deal with that and then when he was so ill, but now the memories took up residence in his mind again with an increased vengeance.
Obi-Wan even hated to go on the mission with so many people around. He thought had Xani and Gayron not come it would have been less stressing. But then to find out Plo Koon was coming, just increased his apprehension about the mission. He knew well enough about the Jedi to know you couldn't stay afraid of the anyone and everyone, if you were to become an apprentice.
//What does Master Yoda say? Fear leads to the dark side. I must be half way there. //
Qui-Gon did not mean to eavesdrop on Obi's thoughts but a few slipped through. He could feel the worry the child had about being around so many people. He wished now he had insisted Obi-Wan go speak with a mind healer about what the pirates had put him through. Jinn felt he could help more than a healer could. Was he so wrong about this child?
"You have to let go padawan. You can't be a Jedi and hold onto the past as you do. Your parents are gone certainly not by their own chose. You know the others to be cruel and evil people. You will not be subjected to any more of that I promise. I will protect you from anything like that ever happening again. You have my word, but you have to let go. Just reach for the force."
"It is so easy for you isn't it master? You weren't raised without the understanding of how the force works. I don't want to put my trust in anything or anyone again. Only you, I trust you and then sometimes .. Well sometimes…never mind."
Qui-Gon looked at the hurt in the child's face.
"Don't even say something like that and then tell me to never mind. Do you trust me Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
Jinn waited and Obi just sat there. He knew one of the codes for an apprentice was too never lie to their master. Could he say yes and mean it? He wasn't sure so he just didn't answer.
"I am waiting for an answer Obi-Wan. Have you suddenly lost your trust in me?"
"I never lost anything master."
"Then you never had any in me. If you have no trust in me, you can't trust what I tell you. Maybe that is why you struggle so much with becoming in touch with the force."
"The force, the force, I don't want to hear about the force again today."
Jinn could see that look of defiance he was quickly learning Obi-Wan had. Every word seethed with oozing anger and frustration.
"Remember this Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi is just a physical extension of the living force among us. We are but clay to be molded and guided by it. Your refusal to answer my question leads me to assume you have no trust in me or the force which is in you and I. Without that trust you will never be a Jedi. You may possess phenomenal powers, but you will not be a guardian of peace."
The only reaction Jinn got from his new padawan was Obi-Wan quick withdrawal from Jinn mind and bond. He closed himself off completely and turned to watch the space craft speed by the outside realm.
" Obi-Wan I was told today that since your midichlorian count is back up we will leave in two days on our mission. You have no saber and I intend not to allow you to have one on our mission."
Obi-Wan was thrown off balance mentally by his master's words. He thought they had another two weeks before their mission.
"I thought we had longer. I can't go without a saber."
"And with you not in touch with the force, I can't allow you to have one. Master Plo Koon can assess you without one. The mission can not be stalled or delayed until you except the force and all it has to offer you and your training to become a Jedi."
"But you said no padawan had ever gone on a mission without one."
"Yes that is true. You will have more obstacles than other apprentices to overcome now. However I have no doubt that you can do it. You know had you reached for the force's help from the beginning as I instructed you to do, we wouldn't have this problem. With your potential it would have required very little training with the saber for you to be up equal to the other padawans your age."
"But never as good as Xani?"
"What in the name of the dark side brought that on? This isn't about Xani, it is about you. We can go back to saber practice once the mission is over. We will have more time. But I have to insist you still work with becoming in touch with the living force. Your apprenticeship mandates it. You must also be able to trust me, your master unconditionally and I am not so sure you have that trust needed."
Obi-Wan got up quietly and bowed respectively to his master.
"May I be excused master?"
"Yes, but they are having spaghetti in the commissary. I thought we would eat there and later come back and meditate together."
That was evidently Obi-Wan's way of saying he did not wish to speak further on the subject and Qui-Gon felt there was no need to badger the boy. He said what he needed to say. What Obi-Wan did what he said would depend on the boy and not him.
"I am no very hungry master could you go without me? When you return just let me know and we will meditate."
Always the polite padawan Jinn thought. However there was so much left unsaid between the two. There seemed to be an invisible wedge between them and it just happened as they spoke about the mission they would soon go on with Jinn's former apprentice.
Obi-Wan reached the door and turned.
Qui-Gon had just gotten up off the cushions and was headed to his room to freshen up.
"You were wrong about one thing master."
"What is that Obi-Wan?"
"You said this had nothing to do with Xani and yet I get the feeling it has everything to do with your former padawan……"
Qui-Gon sat at the computer terminal in the main room of the cottage supplied to them by the prime minister elect of Gronoss. There were three little planets out in the outer Quadrant of the galaxy that the Jedi kept an eye on. This was their first planet to visit of the three because of assassination threats and attempts leveled against the new prime minister. The Jedi's job was to find but who was doing it and to protect the man as he was sworn in.
Really a simple job. This was not all Jinn had to worry about. Plo Koon had become aware that there was definitely some kind of rift between master and new apprentice, Jinn and Kenobi. The two days there and Obi-Wan had spent most of his time hiding in the bedroom. He had spoken very little to Jinn and what was worse he did not come in and participate in the talks with the prime minister and his men.
Obi-Wan Kenobi still suffered from fear of being around others. He had learned early in his young life, it was hard to distinguish the bad guy from the good, so he opted to stay away from all and everyone, for he didn't know who was truly worthy of his trust.
For that matter he didn't care to be around Xani or Gayron and felt even worse when in a room with Plo Koon.
Jinn was well aware that their bond remained closed on Obi's side because his stubbornness. That was all Jinn could call it.
Obi-Wan refused to discuss the issue with Jinn and until he opened up their was nothing the big master could do. His patience was wearing thin and the glances shot to him by Plo Koon left no misunderstanding between the two.
Plo Koon grew even more weary of what was going on between the two and he very soon would delve into the mystery and possibly find out more about Obi-Wan's fears.
Qui-Gon had just flipped a data pad open, with a list of possible suspects in the assassination attempts.
He read down the list as he tried to occupy himself on something that concerned the mission and not on the problems which seemed to have sprung up almost instantly and with no clue as to why.
Behind him, he could feel a pair of eyes baring down on him as Plo Koon walked up to Jinn.
"You know Master Jinn, I am quite in tune with the living force. I can almost pick and point out the training bonded pair at the temple, without even knowing who the master's apprentice is. Right now I feel a new formed bond with Xanatos and Gayron but I get absolutely nothing from you and Obi-Wan. Is there a reason for that?"
"It could be that one or the other of us is shielding could it not Master Plo Koon?"
"Humph… ugh.. well of course Master Jinn, but is that wise? It is never good the shield from a newly bonded. You as a senior master should know that all too well."
Jinn closed the data pad and tried very hard not to slam it down on the computer desk as he turned around to face Master Plo Koon."
"Let's cut to the truth. We both know you are not here to assess Obi-Wan. You are here to hopefully document some flaw in our bond to have Obi permanently removed from his position in the Jedi; to have his apprenticeship negated by some imaginary or trumped-up charges."
"He was not capable of mastering even the simplest of saber techniques. I was against bringing him on this mission with his inability to use a saber. He needs protection, yet he can't protect as a padawan should be able too."
"I am all the protection Obi-Wan needs, until he learns the use of the saber. Besides it is important for a Jedi to learn diplomacy is it not Master Plo Koon?"
"Certainly it is master. But Obi-Wan has a duty to you and to himself to protect and defend, if need be. What should we do, ask Obi-Wan to negotiate with fine words if we are attacked?"
Plo Koon was quite smugly pleased with himself over his words of criticism of Jinn's apprentice.
"Obi-Wan will be up and ready for our mission in the morning."
"Good for you only have until in the morning. As your former master likes to quote, "Fear leads to the dark side" and I have never seen a padawan with so much fear as yours. If any man comes within a foot of him he cowers in fear. Not conducive to a working padawan I would say."
"He has had a difficult time. It hard for him to know who to trust and who not too."
Although he knew it would do no good, Jinn tried to appeal to the compassion in Plo Koon over Obi's previous plight with the pirates. He soon found out Plo Koon had no compassionate side.
"I don't care about that. Tell him to get over it and quick if he hopes to be your apprentice. Of course the way you two have been with each other, I don't know if he honestly wants to be a Jedi. I am very observant and I can tell there is some kind of unspoken disagreement between the two of you. Correct it Master Jinn or face the consequences; my consequences."
Plo Koon, satisfied that Jinn now knew where he and Obi-Wan stood with him walked away. Jinn picked up the data pad as if he intended to go back calmly to his work before he slammed it back down.
Xani and Gayron who had overheard everything but didn't dare interfere looked up and knew the master before them was down right angry.
Jinn got up and stomped to the bedroom where Obi-Wan had been the entire day.
//Stubbornness or not the boy has to straighten up or Plo Koon will do just as he promised. I have to find out what exactly happened that day when we practiced the saber moves. Is he so petty, that Obi would let a little corrective criticism bring him to this point surely not or he won't be able to become a padawan.//
Jinn walked in and Obi got up immediately and went to the window to look out.
"You can watch all that life go by you Obi-Wan, but don't worry. You may have plenty of time to do that very thing, watch the outside world. You just may have the rest of your life."
Obi-Wan quickly turned to stare at his master. He wanted to know what he meant.
######back in the common room####
"I think Master Plo Koon is out to get my former master."
"No, Xani I think he is out to get Obi-Wan and he will take down anyone who tries to stand in his way and that would be your former master, Qui-Gon. Of course it is up to us to do what we came here to do and stay out of their business. You know Plo Koon is here to assess Obi-Wan, although I think he already has a mindset that Obi should not remain a Jedi."
"Maybe he shouldn't if he can't grasp the force and in not being able to do so, he has put his master in danger."
"No, Master Jinn was right not to let him have saber and this mission shouldn't prove dangerous, but I think that is why we were sent here. We are Jinn's backup in case problems arise. I think the council knew very well it was too soon for Obi-Wan to be ready for a battle, even had he mastered some moves and techniques with the saber."
"Well I know you and I will do everything we can to insure our and Master Jinn's safety, but I have my doubts about that little padawan."
"Like I said Xani just stay out of it . Master Jinn isn't your concern now."
//Not my concern? Am I to forget the time we had together. I don't think so. And I don't think I will stand around and let Obi-Wan Kenobi drag my master down to his level. No I will stop him before that happens. //
PEACE ewen
It was the fifth or sixth time Jinn and Kenobi had gone over this maneuver in saber training. That had been at this one simple movement for over three hours and Obi-Wan was not advancing his understanding of it or his ability to complete it.
Qui-Gon went down on the practice floor, adjusted Obi-Wan's stance, and the way he held his saber. Then he activated the machine that threw the attack orbs at Obi-Wan. He would probably be busy all evening healing the numerous burns the child had received that day from the orbs he has missed as they plowed into him. It was something all padawans went through. Not truly injured just their pride more than their body.
Qui-Gon went up to sit high in the bleacher seating where Mace sat and watched Obi and others as they practiced.
"I tell you Mace I think I am getting too old for this."
"Nay, you aren't. You just need to practice some of that JedI patience we have been taught all of our life. You have to remember that Obi-Wan is a lot younger than the padawan you had. I mean can't you remember how hard it was to train Xani, in the beginning?"
"Was it truly this hard? Maybe I have "bitten off more than I can chew" sorta speak. I mean I thought if his midichlorians were so high, things controlled by the force would just come naturally to him."
"Do you think a genius with an extremely high I. Q. was born with the knowledge of speech or of reading? No matter how intelligent they were, they had to be taught. Just like with Obi-Wan and his midichlorians. He still has to be taught and I can think of no master better than you to do it."
"You can just save that flattery of yours. It is still your turn to buy last- meal out tonight."
"That's not fair. Obi-Wan eats for three."
The joking between the two halted when Jinn noticed Obi-Wan had stopped doing his practicing, without permission
Jinn went back down on the floor to see if maybe the child had been hurt.
"Obi-Wan did you get hurt?"
"No Master"
Obi-Wan continued to stare at the floor.
"Then why have you stopped? I don't remember telling you that you could."
"I know I was just getting to frustrated."
"That doesn't matter. It is for me to say when you may stop. Now go back on the floor and start all over."
Obi-Wan slammed his practice saber down. Several of the other padawans looked up to see what the noise was and quickly turned away. They did not be reprimanded by Master Jinn.
"Very well, go to our room and meditate. Maybe you can better grasp the force that way."
"No, I will try it again"
Obi could feel that he had disappointed his master. He however did not feel anger coming from Qui-Gon.
"No I do not wish you try again today or any other day until you set your mind to what you are doing. I asked you to reach for the force. You know you are blessed with it mightily, but you refuse to concentrate and let the force flow through you and the motions you make. They are choppy, not fluid as they should be. You do not follow through with your attempted strikes with the saber. Obi-Wan still could not feel any anger coming from his master and that was perplexing. Obi thought he would rather have his master angry than the way he was now.
Obi-Wan started to pick the training saber up and Jinn reached out and took his arm to stop him.
"Maybe I did not make myself clear enough. I do not wish you to touch a saber even the training one until you are more focused. That will mean of course that our plan to have you start making your own saber for the mission is now put on hold."
"But master, we will be going on the mission soon and I won't have a saber."
"Then I think you better focus really hard. I would hate to be the only master to have a padawan not trained enough to carry his own saber on his first mission. That would be a dark mark on that padawan."
Obi would have liked to think that his master was just kidding and that he would let him make a saber. However, Obi was beginning to know this master very well and something told him that if he did not get his "act" together, Master Jinn spoke the truth. His master would indeed delay the making of his saber until he was satisfied that Obi-Wan could use it correctly. Obi-Wan flushed a deep pink and got up. He bowed respectively to his master and left to do as he was told.
Obi-Wan was frustrated but not with his master He was annoyed with himself for not grasping the force as his master thought he should so easily should be able too. He thought he had shamed himself and in turn his master by his actions and outburst on the gym floor.
As he left the auditorium, he saw his master go up and greet Knight Gayron and Xanatos.
While Jinn talked to Gayron more than likely about the mission Obi thought, he could not help but notice Xani flash him a look of disgust.
//I guess I showed everyone here that as weak as Xani and my master's bond was, Xani was still a better padawan to him than I am. My master seems to glow at the sight of his former padawan. Wonder if he regrets giving up Xani to train me? //
Obi-Wan had just put on his padawan outfit when he noticed Xanatos come into the shower area. Obi-Wan wondered why he would be here since he did not even practice with them. This session was for the younger padawans, his age, not Xanatos'.
"Don't feel so bad Obi-Wan. I was not perfect when I started either. Although I think my master thought with such a close bond and so much power that your are suppose to possess, you should have been able to execute the most simplest of movements. He went into great detail with my master how poorly you have done today. I guess maybe your saber practice today has taken a little shine off you in my old masters' eyes. Maybe he does not see you as that Super Jedi he was so excited to teach. Master always liked a challenge, but in your case, It think he is becoming sorely disappointed and at a fast rate of speed. I think when he has you do a couple of katas with your clumsiness and inability to grasp the force as he said; you'll have him regretting altogether that he ever wanted you over me."
Obi-Wan could not figure out why Xanatos was being so cruel. He was the one who wanted to leave his master to become the padawan to Knight Gayron.
//Why now would he speak so harshly to me? Not that what he said was not true, at least about me. Master Jinn will regret he ever took me if I do not get the knack for this grasping of the force thing. Sometimes I do not even know what they are talking about. What if I mess up on the mission and my master is harmed because of my inability to do anything a padawan does to help protect his master? //
Qui-Gon could not help but notice that Obi-Wan had positioned himself over by the big bay window. He must have migrated there in a fit of depression thought his master. Obi-Wan had not been there since he found out that he had his powers back and that the council agreed to give him a test mission to see if he could be trained.
Jinn went straight to the kitchen to put some dry-goods away. He looked up to see the boy staring at him. Obi-Wan had to turn his head and crane his neck up and over the break-fast bar to see through the little portal between the common room and the kitchen.
"Are we sulking padawan?"
"No master "we" aren't doing anything. I am sulking and I have found that I have become quite good at it."
Obi tried to break the tension between he and his master.
"Do you think I treated you unfairly Obi-Wan; any different than I would have another apprentice?"
"Did Xanatos ever get your harsh words like the ones I got today for not doing well in his saber class?"
"Xanatos never, "not did well in his class"."
Jinn regretted the words as soon as he said them. It wasn't good to ever compare padawans especially to their face.
"What I mean is when Xani came to me, he was quite astute in the use of the saber. He is now considered the best in the senior padawans."
"Oh."
That one word did not tell Jinn much about what Obi-Wan thought.
"Do you think me unfair today? It takes a simple reply of yes or no to a simple question."
"I guess not."
"Jedi do not guess Obi-Wan. Either you feel I was too harsh on you or you don't."
"Well you seemed kinda mean."
Qui-Gon finished putting the last of the supplies away and walked into the common room.
Obi-Wan would have preferred he stayed in the kitchen. It seemed to be better if he spoke to his master with him further away. Not that he was afraid of Qui-Gon, he just didn't want Jinn to see the misery in his face.
Qui plopped down on a floor pillow next to where Obi-Wan sat.
"I don't think your abilities with the saber is the cause. You are not willing to trust the force."
A little anger could be felt a crossed their bond.
"So sorry master, but aside from you, I find it extremely difficult to trust anything in my life. My parents, I trusted them, now they are gone. There was certainly no trust at the Inn where I worked and then the pirates. The pirates…."
Obi let his voice trail off while he remembered the horrors, almost forgotten with the help and kindness of Qui-Gon. His master had helped him a great deal with that and then when he was so ill, but now the memories took up residence in his mind again with an increased vengeance.
Obi-Wan even hated to go on the mission with so many people around. He thought had Xani and Gayron not come it would have been less stressing. But then to find out Plo Koon was coming, just increased his apprehension about the mission. He knew well enough about the Jedi to know you couldn't stay afraid of the anyone and everyone, if you were to become an apprentice.
//What does Master Yoda say? Fear leads to the dark side. I must be half way there. //
Qui-Gon did not mean to eavesdrop on Obi's thoughts but a few slipped through. He could feel the worry the child had about being around so many people. He wished now he had insisted Obi-Wan go speak with a mind healer about what the pirates had put him through. Jinn felt he could help more than a healer could. Was he so wrong about this child?
"You have to let go padawan. You can't be a Jedi and hold onto the past as you do. Your parents are gone certainly not by their own chose. You know the others to be cruel and evil people. You will not be subjected to any more of that I promise. I will protect you from anything like that ever happening again. You have my word, but you have to let go. Just reach for the force."
"It is so easy for you isn't it master? You weren't raised without the understanding of how the force works. I don't want to put my trust in anything or anyone again. Only you, I trust you and then sometimes .. Well sometimes…never mind."
Qui-Gon looked at the hurt in the child's face.
"Don't even say something like that and then tell me to never mind. Do you trust me Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
Jinn waited and Obi just sat there. He knew one of the codes for an apprentice was too never lie to their master. Could he say yes and mean it? He wasn't sure so he just didn't answer.
"I am waiting for an answer Obi-Wan. Have you suddenly lost your trust in me?"
"I never lost anything master."
"Then you never had any in me. If you have no trust in me, you can't trust what I tell you. Maybe that is why you struggle so much with becoming in touch with the force."
"The force, the force, I don't want to hear about the force again today."
Jinn could see that look of defiance he was quickly learning Obi-Wan had. Every word seethed with oozing anger and frustration.
"Remember this Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi is just a physical extension of the living force among us. We are but clay to be molded and guided by it. Your refusal to answer my question leads me to assume you have no trust in me or the force which is in you and I. Without that trust you will never be a Jedi. You may possess phenomenal powers, but you will not be a guardian of peace."
The only reaction Jinn got from his new padawan was Obi-Wan quick withdrawal from Jinn mind and bond. He closed himself off completely and turned to watch the space craft speed by the outside realm.
" Obi-Wan I was told today that since your midichlorian count is back up we will leave in two days on our mission. You have no saber and I intend not to allow you to have one on our mission."
Obi-Wan was thrown off balance mentally by his master's words. He thought they had another two weeks before their mission.
"I thought we had longer. I can't go without a saber."
"And with you not in touch with the force, I can't allow you to have one. Master Plo Koon can assess you without one. The mission can not be stalled or delayed until you except the force and all it has to offer you and your training to become a Jedi."
"But you said no padawan had ever gone on a mission without one."
"Yes that is true. You will have more obstacles than other apprentices to overcome now. However I have no doubt that you can do it. You know had you reached for the force's help from the beginning as I instructed you to do, we wouldn't have this problem. With your potential it would have required very little training with the saber for you to be up equal to the other padawans your age."
"But never as good as Xani?"
"What in the name of the dark side brought that on? This isn't about Xani, it is about you. We can go back to saber practice once the mission is over. We will have more time. But I have to insist you still work with becoming in touch with the living force. Your apprenticeship mandates it. You must also be able to trust me, your master unconditionally and I am not so sure you have that trust needed."
Obi-Wan got up quietly and bowed respectively to his master.
"May I be excused master?"
"Yes, but they are having spaghetti in the commissary. I thought we would eat there and later come back and meditate together."
That was evidently Obi-Wan's way of saying he did not wish to speak further on the subject and Qui-Gon felt there was no need to badger the boy. He said what he needed to say. What Obi-Wan did what he said would depend on the boy and not him.
"I am no very hungry master could you go without me? When you return just let me know and we will meditate."
Always the polite padawan Jinn thought. However there was so much left unsaid between the two. There seemed to be an invisible wedge between them and it just happened as they spoke about the mission they would soon go on with Jinn's former apprentice.
Obi-Wan reached the door and turned.
Qui-Gon had just gotten up off the cushions and was headed to his room to freshen up.
"You were wrong about one thing master."
"What is that Obi-Wan?"
"You said this had nothing to do with Xani and yet I get the feeling it has everything to do with your former padawan……"
Qui-Gon sat at the computer terminal in the main room of the cottage supplied to them by the prime minister elect of Gronoss. There were three little planets out in the outer Quadrant of the galaxy that the Jedi kept an eye on. This was their first planet to visit of the three because of assassination threats and attempts leveled against the new prime minister. The Jedi's job was to find but who was doing it and to protect the man as he was sworn in.
Really a simple job. This was not all Jinn had to worry about. Plo Koon had become aware that there was definitely some kind of rift between master and new apprentice, Jinn and Kenobi. The two days there and Obi-Wan had spent most of his time hiding in the bedroom. He had spoken very little to Jinn and what was worse he did not come in and participate in the talks with the prime minister and his men.
Obi-Wan Kenobi still suffered from fear of being around others. He had learned early in his young life, it was hard to distinguish the bad guy from the good, so he opted to stay away from all and everyone, for he didn't know who was truly worthy of his trust.
For that matter he didn't care to be around Xani or Gayron and felt even worse when in a room with Plo Koon.
Jinn was well aware that their bond remained closed on Obi's side because his stubbornness. That was all Jinn could call it.
Obi-Wan refused to discuss the issue with Jinn and until he opened up their was nothing the big master could do. His patience was wearing thin and the glances shot to him by Plo Koon left no misunderstanding between the two.
Plo Koon grew even more weary of what was going on between the two and he very soon would delve into the mystery and possibly find out more about Obi-Wan's fears.
Qui-Gon had just flipped a data pad open, with a list of possible suspects in the assassination attempts.
He read down the list as he tried to occupy himself on something that concerned the mission and not on the problems which seemed to have sprung up almost instantly and with no clue as to why.
Behind him, he could feel a pair of eyes baring down on him as Plo Koon walked up to Jinn.
"You know Master Jinn, I am quite in tune with the living force. I can almost pick and point out the training bonded pair at the temple, without even knowing who the master's apprentice is. Right now I feel a new formed bond with Xanatos and Gayron but I get absolutely nothing from you and Obi-Wan. Is there a reason for that?"
"It could be that one or the other of us is shielding could it not Master Plo Koon?"
"Humph… ugh.. well of course Master Jinn, but is that wise? It is never good the shield from a newly bonded. You as a senior master should know that all too well."
Jinn closed the data pad and tried very hard not to slam it down on the computer desk as he turned around to face Master Plo Koon."
"Let's cut to the truth. We both know you are not here to assess Obi-Wan. You are here to hopefully document some flaw in our bond to have Obi permanently removed from his position in the Jedi; to have his apprenticeship negated by some imaginary or trumped-up charges."
"He was not capable of mastering even the simplest of saber techniques. I was against bringing him on this mission with his inability to use a saber. He needs protection, yet he can't protect as a padawan should be able too."
"I am all the protection Obi-Wan needs, until he learns the use of the saber. Besides it is important for a Jedi to learn diplomacy is it not Master Plo Koon?"
"Certainly it is master. But Obi-Wan has a duty to you and to himself to protect and defend, if need be. What should we do, ask Obi-Wan to negotiate with fine words if we are attacked?"
Plo Koon was quite smugly pleased with himself over his words of criticism of Jinn's apprentice.
"Obi-Wan will be up and ready for our mission in the morning."
"Good for you only have until in the morning. As your former master likes to quote, "Fear leads to the dark side" and I have never seen a padawan with so much fear as yours. If any man comes within a foot of him he cowers in fear. Not conducive to a working padawan I would say."
"He has had a difficult time. It hard for him to know who to trust and who not too."
Although he knew it would do no good, Jinn tried to appeal to the compassion in Plo Koon over Obi's previous plight with the pirates. He soon found out Plo Koon had no compassionate side.
"I don't care about that. Tell him to get over it and quick if he hopes to be your apprentice. Of course the way you two have been with each other, I don't know if he honestly wants to be a Jedi. I am very observant and I can tell there is some kind of unspoken disagreement between the two of you. Correct it Master Jinn or face the consequences; my consequences."
Plo Koon, satisfied that Jinn now knew where he and Obi-Wan stood with him walked away. Jinn picked up the data pad as if he intended to go back calmly to his work before he slammed it back down.
Xani and Gayron who had overheard everything but didn't dare interfere looked up and knew the master before them was down right angry.
Jinn got up and stomped to the bedroom where Obi-Wan had been the entire day.
//Stubbornness or not the boy has to straighten up or Plo Koon will do just as he promised. I have to find out what exactly happened that day when we practiced the saber moves. Is he so petty, that Obi would let a little corrective criticism bring him to this point surely not or he won't be able to become a padawan.//
Jinn walked in and Obi got up immediately and went to the window to look out.
"You can watch all that life go by you Obi-Wan, but don't worry. You may have plenty of time to do that very thing, watch the outside world. You just may have the rest of your life."
Obi-Wan quickly turned to stare at his master. He wanted to know what he meant.
######back in the common room####
"I think Master Plo Koon is out to get my former master."
"No, Xani I think he is out to get Obi-Wan and he will take down anyone who tries to stand in his way and that would be your former master, Qui-Gon. Of course it is up to us to do what we came here to do and stay out of their business. You know Plo Koon is here to assess Obi-Wan, although I think he already has a mindset that Obi should not remain a Jedi."
"Maybe he shouldn't if he can't grasp the force and in not being able to do so, he has put his master in danger."
"No, Master Jinn was right not to let him have saber and this mission shouldn't prove dangerous, but I think that is why we were sent here. We are Jinn's backup in case problems arise. I think the council knew very well it was too soon for Obi-Wan to be ready for a battle, even had he mastered some moves and techniques with the saber."
"Well I know you and I will do everything we can to insure our and Master Jinn's safety, but I have my doubts about that little padawan."
"Like I said Xani just stay out of it . Master Jinn isn't your concern now."
//Not my concern? Am I to forget the time we had together. I don't think so. And I don't think I will stand around and let Obi-Wan Kenobi drag my master down to his level. No I will stop him before that happens. //
PEACE ewen