Just what do you mean I may have a life time to watch the world go by?"
Jinn had piqued Obi-Wan's curiosity and he planned it that way. Kenobi had been hesitant to talk anything over with his master since the day of the saber training class. The day unbeknownst to him Obi-Wan had a conversation with Xani.
"Master Plo Koon has informed me that he knows perfectly well we are working here with a closed off bond. I did not tell which one of us closed it and why. Although I myself am not sure why you chose to do it, but I do know that it is your side of the bond that has been shielded. Care too explain?"
"I have no explanation at least right now."
"Obi-Wan we are dealing with a very new and tender bond here. You can't just close it off on a minute's notice and expect it to come right back when you drop your shields. It doesn't always work that way. How can we work as one if you want to take the burden of whatever it is disturbing you and cling to it like it holds value. It doesn't hold value child and it may destroy our bond or your chance of becoming a Jedi permanently. Plo Koon has already threatened to send you back to Coruscant on the next public transport that leaves here."
"Why I have done nothing."
"That's the point you have done absolutely nothing. You refuse to sit in on the conversations when we go over the diplomatic matters here, you don't want to be around the other Jedi, and you certainly aren't willing to mentally connect with me. That's not how a master and apprentice relationship evolves into almost one of singular thought."
"I am sorry I just need time."
"Well I am truly sorry Obi-Wan but time is something you don't have. You knew this. I thought you had made a speedy recovery over what happened to you."
"Yeah, but maybe you and I both thought wrong. I had so much to deal with when I got sick I could easily push the memories out of my head. Now with this mission and being around so many people at one time those memories have resurfaced and magnified themselves for me."
"Then I should have been made aware of this and you could have gone to a soul healer and talked it over with him."
Obi-Wan glanced back at his master and then turned to the window but Jinn got the feeling he looked into space not what was outside. It was just someplace to put his eyes rather than have to face his master.
"I don't need a soul healer to tell me I have problems and they are all up here."
Obi-Wan pointed to his head. His finger bounced off his head with such fierceness Jinn thought the boy might actually do himself harm.
"Everyone has things in their life up here as you put it that we have to deal with. Some can do it alone and some need help."
Jinn did the same thing and pointed to his head only he didn't use the fierceness, he only jabbed slightly to his.
"I may need help master but I don't want it and I refuse to have it. I closed the bond because my memories flooded in. They swirl endlessly in my head. There is no way to keep them hidden from anyone who would mind link with me and since there is only one who can I guess that means you."
"That's what I am here for, son."
"I am not your son. I'm not anyone's son now. The pirates saw to that and a great many other things I didn't even know about before they go a hold of me."
Jinn knew what they boy meant even though he just alluded to the abuse and wouldn't repeat what happened.
"See Obi you fear to even speak it yet it dwells in that head of yours. Maybe talking about it would help."
Obi-Wan grabbed his head as if in pain but he was not. He spun around and sat down on the bed behind him close to the window.
"No, no, no, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to tell you every little thing that happened. I want to forget but my mind won't let me. Xani was right! I am not good enough to be your apprentice. If I told you all the things that tormented up here in my mind, I could never look you in the eye again."
//Xani thought Jinn. When did he talk to Xanatos lately for Xani to be right about anything?//
"What do you mean Xani is right? When did you last speak to him?"
Obi knew he had "let the cat of out of the bag" and he would have to tell Jinn about he and Xanatos' conversation, though he thought it didn't matter now. Plo Koon would almost certainly send him home if he couldn't come to grips with his memories of abuse that once again plagued him.
"At the practice session when you got onto me for not doing so well. He and Knight Gayron were there and they heard you . He knows how bad I am with the saber and he said you wouldn't keep me and…. Well he kinda said I am not good enough for you. That seemed to have torn down any confidence I had. The nightmares, along with the horrible memories came gushing back and flooded my mind with things I thought I had successfully buried in the back of my mind."
Jinn saw things a lot clearer now. The main reason for everything to come crashing back so hard on the boy was because of his lack of self-confidence, instilled in him by Jinn's former padawan's words. Although they might not have been intentional to do damage and the worst kind too, damage was done that here on a mission Jinn had no way of knowing how to correct. Obi-Wan seemed unwilling now to even ask for the force to help and maybe worse yet he wouldn't ask his master for assistance. The boy again found himself alone in a world he thought surrounded him cruel and evil people.
//I suppose for whatever reason Xani had for saying what he did to Obi, the boy has put Xanatos in that group of "can't be trusted people". Maybe he has put all of us Jedi in it// now.
Jinn sat down beside Obi-Wan and even feared to touch him in the condition he was in.
"Listen to me padawan. I don't plan to get rid of you for any reason. You will find me hard to rid yourself of me even if you wish too. The use of the saber will be taught to you when we return. I have all the confidence in the galaxy that you will master its use and be very good at it. You have not been given the time. Maybe we Jedi have not even given you the time to heal the mental wounds left on your mind by your abusers. That will change Obi-Wan. However if you do not open your link to me by in the morning Plo Koon will know."
"But master you will know all the things that happened to me."
"I already know a great deal of them and I cant think of others being worse than what I saw once before. If they are and you had them buried, they are evidently out now and have to be dealt with. However you don't have to deal with them alone,I can help you. I will hold nothing against you for what happened. You are too blame for nothing. It might be better to let me see all the truths and atrocities than to tell me about them."
Obi-Wan turned to his master. He took both of Master Jinn's overly large and even rougher hands and placed one on each side of his head.
Jinn watched Obi as his hands trembled and his tunic front vibrated by the thumping of his heart through the material.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and did what his master had taught him on how to drop and raise his shields. This time though he willed his master's entrance to his mind so Qui-Gon could know personally what he went through. With at mind link Jinn would not only see what happened he would feel the pain and repercussions of it. This time he let his master in on every big and little vile detail of the abuse he sustained at the hands of the first pirate captain.
Qui-Gon Jinn's eyes turned to giant blue orbs at the shock of the torture Obi-Wan went through. He now clearly understood why the child had no wish to tell even him about it. These memories were tucked away so well that the last time Jinn entered his mind, he had no idea the extinct of Obi-Wan's abuse by the pirates.
//No wonder the child suffers nightmares…. . All of Obi-Wan's innocence was TAKEN from him that one day.//
Jinn abruptly withdrew his hands from Obi-Wan's head as if he had just touched a searing heat.
Obi-Wan took that to mean he was disgusted at what he saw so in turn he was disgusted with Obi-Wan.
Jinn was disgusted but Obi-Wan had it wrong. Had Jinn had the captain pirate before him now he thought himself capable of killing the man with his bare hands. Of course he did not say that to Kenobi.
Obi quickly got up and went over to the window, unable to face his master who he assumed didn't even want to look at him right now.
"Obi-Wan I don't know what I can say to make things better. I really don't think there is anything to say. You won't ever forget but the pain will ease with time and you have to learn to let go, although I know you can't do it all at one time. If we can just get through this mission and if you truly want to be a Jedi I will help you stow all those memories away and never bring them out again. But the first thing you have to do is trust me."
"Xanatos is right master I am not worthy to be your padawan."
"Xani is right about nothing and if need be I will tell him so. We can do this. We can complete this mission and go back and get the proper mental care for you. However you have to trust me. I am asking you to keep the bond open now that I know everything. Keep it opened and I can help you with the memories and to complete this mission successfully. We will deal with the other things later. Just know that I am here for you."
Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon.
"I will try master I will make more than an effort this time, I promises."
"I don't want empty promises like last time Obi and you will learn from my old master there is no "try" only "do". Just let me guide you in this and all will be well. That is my promise to you and it is not an empty one."
"All right master I will do my best."
"Very well. The first thing you have to do is go out there and show Master Plo Koon along with Xanatos and Knight Gayron that you are there for me; a working apprentice alongside his master."
"Give me a few minutes to freshen up master and I will be out."
########the next day##########
The Jedi walked down the street. They encircled the prime minister-elect as they did so. He was out greeting people along the route to the Senate offices where he would be sworn in. The Jedi acted as body guards.
Plo Koon edged his way up beside Qui-Gon.
"I don't know how you managed to get that boy to open his bond but it still will do you no good. Anyone can see his heart is not in this mission and quite possibly in even becoming a Jedi. I think for the best for all of us, you should just abandon the idea of taking him as your apprentice. I don't think he can overcome the abuse he suffered. A Jedi must never live in the past. There is only the future."
"You are very wrong Master Plo Koon."
Jinn hesitated a moment to survey a group of men to his left who seemed to follow the prime minister's every move since they left his home.
""One should not live in the past, but one should also not forget the present as they look to the future. The present is now and Obi-Wan is dealing with his memories now so in the future his mind will be clear to follow his quest to become a Jedi. I have not lost my faith in him and neither will I just give up on him now. No, if he is to be thrown out of the Jedi order you are going to have to write down you findings and reasoning's for why. They also will have to satisfy not only me but the council and I am not without friends there either."
"Don't threaten me Jinn, with your friends. Everyone knows Master Yoda will do anything you tell him. I know now you have Mace once again in your corner, but I am not without my persuasive ways with the council. We will just have to see how things turn out. I have seen nothing in the boy so far that would be lead me to a favorable assessment of him."
Plo Koon slowed his steps until he was once again in the back of the entourage.
Only a few more blocks till they would reach their destination but Jinn began to worry. He called Gayron back and discussed the men who amassed to double the amount of in just a few short minutes. They seemed to be attempting to circle the Jedi.
"I think we are in for trouble and very soon Knight Gayron."
"Yes I just mentioned to Xanatos that I think an attack is imminent and we are out in the open. What should be done?"
"There is a large building just ahead. I don't know what it is. It really doesn't matter. Start veering to the left as we walk. Pass it along to the other personal guards of the Prime minister. We want to be as close to that building as we can get. If we aren't attacked before we get there then we will go in and it will provide at least some kind of cover for us."
Gayron went back to his position.
They were very close to the building. The group had worked their way over to the left, closer to where they planned to make a run for it.
Just as the Jedi started rushing the Prime Minister toward the building, they were attacked.
Even Plo Koon drew his saber and engaged in battle. Obi-Wan stood startled by the pandemonium that had just erupted around them.
Quick qlimpses paraded a crossed his mind of the attack on his city by the pirates when his parents were killed. Some of the men dressed in long dark tunics but some were dressed not unlike the pirates who kidnapped him and killed his family.
Jinn's green saber glowed even in the light of day as he battled two men together when they lunged for the Prime minister. They fell quickly at the hand of Qui-Gon Jinn. However, the master had no time to see what happened to Obi-Wan for two more men replaced the downed attackers and he was once more lunging and somersaulting in mid-air to avoid a blaster shot. Obi- Wan still stood in the middle of the battle and couldn't move. He stood there frozen.
Xanatos saw Obi-Wan as he stood right in the middle of the battle and did not attempt to take cover. He was too busy battling an aggressor who was swinging a sword in his face, to help Obi. Xani glanced from Obi-Wan to his former master and saw a man coming up on Master Jinn from the back. Qui-Gon was engaged with battling three men and he did not know of the attack from his rear. Xani yelled to Obi-Wan, who was closer, thus able to here him.
"Warn your Master, Kenobi. He's being attacked from behind."
Obi-Wan looked over to where his master was. It only took a moment for it to register in Obi's mind what Xani had actually said and then another moment to get the words out, "Master, behind you."
However it was enough time for the man to advance and land a blow with his sword to the back of Jinn's leg just below his left knee. Jinn's legging, along with flesh and muscle was sliced into like soft cream-butter. Blood gushed from a gaping wound on his master's leg.
The man had attacked before Obi-Wan could even complete his warning. Every cell, every molecule, every fiber that was Obi-Wan Kenobi told him that it was his fault. Had he hesitated his warning? Did it take too long to form the words and then to actually shout them? Was it fear that caused him not get out the warning out in time? Obi's lack of self-confidence in himself swelled to unbelievable proportions. He blamed himself for Qui-Gon's injury and he was sure the others would blame him as well.
He was partially right. After the battle he would not only face the glaring opened accusations of Xanatos but also the forthright condemnation by a council member, Master Plo Koon.
Right now though nothing mattered except the welfare of his master. Obi-Wan did not hesitate to run to him and provide help. He grabbed the dropped saber and handed it back to Qui-Gon. He helped Jinn to his feet and back-pedaled out of the way so his master could continue battle. With each step Qui-Gon's life sustaining blood poured from the open wound, yet he still fought off his attackers.
Xani saw what happened but not all of it. He was not sure if Jinn's apprentice hesitated yet he so he willingly put the blame of his former master's injury on Obi-Wan's head. He was aflame with anger because the boy had not gotten the warning out of his mouth in time to keep Qui-Gon from being injured.
Xani fought harder than he had ever fought. He wanted the battle over so Master Jinn could get help for he knew his former master would fight until he dropped.
Gayron went over to assist Master Jinn. He could see Qui-Gon was losing blood too quickly.
Finally the battle was over and the Prime Minister safe.
A healer was called for.
Obi-Wan ran back over to his master and was angrily greeted by Xanatos. Master Jinn was just barely conscious from the loss of blood. He was awake not quite coherent as he willed his eyes to remained open. Although his injury was not life threatening, since the healers arrived immediately and started a blood transfusion, his wooziness from the blood loss made him think unclearly..
Obi-Wan tried to reach his master He was met and shoved away by Xanatos.
"You stay away from him, I told you to warn him. You took too long."
Jinn could here what was said but he was unable to defend his apprentice Obi-Wan. Everything was scrambled in his mind. When Xani came to kneel beside him he deliriously and wrongly thought that it was Obi-Wan. He groped for Obi's hand but in reality took the hand of his former apprentice, Padawan Xanatos.
Obi-Wan was not going to let Xanatos stop him from seeing his master. As soon as Xani let go of him to go to see to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan rushed to be by Master Jinn's side. However, his master's next words stopped the apprentice dead in his tracks.
"Ah...... Padawan, I can think of no other I would rather have by my side right now."
In his state of semi-consciousness and mental haze, Qui-Gon had reached out for the wrong apprentice, had frantically grasped the hand of the wrong apprentice, and had spoken the words of endearment to the wrong apprentice, Xanatos Crion instead of the intended one, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Obi-Wan could see Jinn's hand cradled in Xani's and thought his master clearly knew who he just spoke of.
Master Qui-Gon Jinn didn't want or need Obi by his side. He had just said that the only one who could give him comfort was Xanatos.
Jinn succumbed to the darkness of unconsciousness that had threatened to overcome him, now had succeeded. That was when Xanatos whirled around and turned on Obi-Wan.
"You hesitated, you little coward and my former master was almost killed because of your cowardice and incompetence."
"No, I mean I might have hesitated a moment. I'm not sure, but I don't think my master is hurt because I waited too long. I just think I didn't have enough time."
"See you aren't even sure what you did or if you hesitated or not. I hope Master Plo Koon reports this to the council. Not only were you unable to be allowed to carry a saber which might have saved your master today, you couldn't even yell a warning in time to help him."
Obi-Wan hung his head. He shook with fear. It was not fear for himself. It was for Qui-Gon and his injury.
Plo Koon stepped up right in Obi-Wan's face and when the child looked up, he spewed his venomous remarks.
"I plan to make sure the council knows very well how you jeopardized your master's life. First by not learning what you should have so you could have carried a saber, then because you froze in a battle and couldn't even yell a simple warning to him."
"I promise you Obi-Wan Kenobi, your days as a Jedi apprentice are numbered……."
Qui-Gon Jinn went to the healers ward on Norden, but Obi-Wan went on to the little cottage that had been given them to stay n. The prime minister had been safely delivered for inauguration and the assassins caught.
Knight Gayron mistook Obi-Wan's decision not to go with his master as one other than what actually it was. Obi-Wan was heart sick that his master had wanted Xanatos over him. Gayron thought just the trauma of the battle had spooked the child and although it was his duty and obligation to go with his master, Gayron would not pressure him to so..
//It's likely he will not be allowed to pursue his quest to be an apprentice anyway, if what my padawan said is true. He hesitated and refused to call to his master. A grave error and could have been a deadly mistake for Master Jinn had the blow not landed where it did.//
Gayron shook his head in sad resign. He had hoped for the best when it came to pairing of master and apprentice, but the with witnessing of such a mistake by his padawan there would be enough against Obi-Wan to immediately put him out of the Jedi order.
Master Plo Koon stayed at the side of the prime minister. Now that all the danger was over he stayed to reap his just rewards and praise over the rescue and safe delivery of the prime minister to his own inauguration.
Once at the healers ward Qui-Gon quickly regained consciousness and his vitals stabilized satisfactorily. Against his insistence that he was fine, he was told he would have to remain there overnight. He saw Xanatos sitting quietly beside him when he first woke up and assumed Obi-Wan had stepped out for moment. He remembered how gallantly Obi had tried to warn him and when he didn't receive the warning in time, how Obi helped him to his feet and retrieved his saber.
//Had he not thought so quickly and got me up and armed again, I might not be here right now. That one that landed the blow most determined to finish it. He just kept coming for me.//
His memory of it what happened was quite intact. He had heard the warning of Obi-Wan, however he misjudged his timing. He thought he could land just one more blow to one of his attackers in front of him before he turned to the back and defended himself from that one. He was wrong.
Qui-Gon felt the pain as the sword cut through his leggings and realized how badly he had misjudged his timing. It was not Obi's fault that Jinn was hurt, if it was anyone's fault, it was his for his hesitation. Of course the master did not know that Obi-Wan had been accused of anything other than trying and succeeding in helping him once he was down and unarmed.
Qui-Gon sat in the bed, feeling much better and waited patiently until that patience of his seem to lose its self in the time waiting for Obi-Wan.
"Are you feeling better Master?"
Xanatos waited to see if Qui-Gon would even answer him. He hadn't said anything since their arrival at the ward.
"UHN? Oh yes I feel much better. I don't know why I even have to stay overnight."
""I think they are just being cautious master because you lost so much blood. Everything is taken care now and you can use the rest."
"I suppose you are right? Where is Obi-Wan ? Did he step out to go get a drink?"
Jinn had not wanted to mention Obi to Xani. He knew he would feel much better if his padawan was here. He had not been able to feel him through their bond since he awoke from the loss of blood.
"I am sorry master, but he opted not to come to the hospital with you."
Something pulled at the big master's heart.
//He wasn't even concerned enough to come and see how I was?//
Jinn knew he was not thinking like a Jedi. Of course he was all right and maybe Obi just was overwhelmed by the attack he stood right in the middle of.
"Will he be here later?"
Xanatos got very nervous. He didn't know what to say to his former master. He could feel his stress over Obi-Wan not being there. He hated to make his master feel that badly but Jinn had to know it was for the best. Obi-Wan after all would not be his apprentice after all the truth came out about his incompetence.
Xani almost hated to tell his former master of Obi-Wan's incompetence and cowardice behavior.
Xanatos was just about to tell Master Jinn of all the circumstances around the attack and of the cowardly way his apprentice acted but he was saved from doing the dirty work when Master Plo Koon came bounding in the room in an overly jovial mood that confused even Master Jinn.
You could see the relief in Xanatos when he saw Master Plo Koon. He was a council master, surely he would know what to do.
Xanatos made eye contact with Plo Koon and moved his eyes trying to get the unbridled attention of Plo Koon. Plo Koon stopped and stared at Xani.
"Is there a problem Padawan Xanatos?
Plo Koon could not figure out why Xanatos was rolling his eyes as if he was in the middle of some kind of seizure,
"Well, Master Jinn was concerned because his padawan wasn't here. I was just about to tell him. Since you are here, I will let you visit with him. Then you will be able to more fully explain why Kenobi isn't here with his master as he should be, as is his rightful place."
Plo Koon straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Yes well…… yes, I suppose I can handle that for you Padawan. Go get something to eat and I will stay with Master Jinn."
#####back at the cottage Gayron and Obi-Wan#######
Gayron was not sure what to say to the young padawan that would bring him any comfort. It would be hard for him to return to the temple and be branded a coward. He would be considered to have brought shame to his master. Gayron thought maybe he should try to ease the worry of Obi-Wan. He was not aware of the fact that Obi-Wan didn't know he consequences of his actions, for he didn't quite know with accuracy what his actions truly had been..
"Look Obi when you get back to the temple, you will just have to hold your head up. None of the other padawans were here and they also didn't have to go through what all you have. I mean… I am sure Master Jinn will hold nothing against you. I am sure he will go to before the council for you."
//What is talking about? Will everyone think me a coward? I am not even sure what happened out there, How can they be so positive I was wrong in my actions?//
"You mean eveyone at the temple will know about this Knight Gayron?"
"Well I sure it will go before a review of various masters to see if you were in any way in the wrong, but like I said I am sure your master will defend you."
Obi-Wan knew that it meant the others on this mission thought Jinn's injury was the direct cause of Obi-Wan reflexive actions not being quick enough. Obi-Wan knew he would be ashamed, however his worry for his master overcame any shame he had for himself. He knew what he had to do.
I//t will be easier for my master to face everyone if I am not there as a reminder of the disgrace I have brought him. I guess Norden is just as good as any place to live. //
Master Gayron may I be excused? I am very tired."
"Yes of course that's an excellent idea."
Obi-Wan went into the bedroom and walked straight to the window; a window just like the one at home where he often watched life pass him by. He turned one time to look toward the door. Obi-Wan silently and slowly raised the window and slipped out being unnoticed and feeling unwanted…………………
###Back in the hospital ward where Qui-Gon and Plo Koon are.##########
Plo Koon was sincerely concerned for the master. Qui-Gon had been injured and betrayed by this boy he had pinned all his hope of the future on. Yes, Plo Koon had enough heart in him to sympathize with this master, but not enough to keep him from reporting his findings of the Kenobi child before the other council masters.. None of the assessments of Obi-Wan would be good and all of them would be backed up and collaborated by Padawan Xanatos and even Knight Gayron.
"Not that I don't appreciate your concern, Master Plo Koon, but I don't need a babysitter. I will tell you what I do need though. I need to know where my apprentice is. I want to thank Padawan Kenobi for saving my life……..."
############ A dip in the bacta tank, stitches, and a blood transfusion had rendered the Jedi master a bit tired, but in much better shape than when he was when he was brought to the healers ward. He had already dressed and waited on the other four Jedi. They would head for another small planet of the outer Quadrant to see how things progressed there.
Qui-Gon walked around the room just to get a feeling of how bad his leg was working Surprisingly, the master found that other than a little stiffness that was gradually leaving with each step he took,his leg was in good shape. He glanced out the window and saw three of the four Jedi he expected. Much to his disappointment, the one he wanted to see wasn't with them.
//Where is that boy now? Maybe Master Plo Koon had him stay to pack up my belongings. No, I told Gayron this morning we would leave immediately once they came for me. //
Jinn had already formed his line of questioning he had for his Jedi companions and he speedily jumped into them as soon as they entered his room.
"Gayron I saw you come up as I watched out the window. You are one shy a Jedi. I told you we would head directly to the ship. Just where is my padawan? Why isn't Obi-Wan with you now?"
So many questions but no one wanted to answer them, although they knew they would have too.
Plo Koon wasn't past being able to pass bad news along to the master now that he felt better. He launched into a long sermon of how Obi-Wan could not become a Jedi; was not worth of the Jedi to have considered him. As he watched the Jedi master's face grow red with anger, he finally decided to land the last blow to Qui-Gon Jinn.
"The last thing I think you will want to know is that the child ran away while I was up here with you last night."
"Last night! Why wasn't I informed before now? What happened? You were with him were you not Knight Garyon?"
"Yes but I assure you I did not say anything that would bring him added stress. If anything I tried to make it better. I told him how you would more than likely standup for him when he went before the review board."
"Why would Obi-Wan have to go before a board of reviews? Just what do you think he was guilty of yesterday, other than saving my life. Is that a crime now within the Jedi order?"
Xanatos felt is was time his master faced the truth.
"Master we all saw what Obi-Wan did in the middle of battle. He almost cost you your life when he hesitated on his warning to you."
"Padawan Xanatos you know none of the facts and I resent you thinking the worst of my new apprentice. Yes Obi-Wan warned me but he did not hestiate, I did. I thought I had enough time to finish the battle with the one ahead of me and didn't attack the one behind me in time. I suppose none of you saw the boy rush to me. help me off the ground, and retrieved my saber for me. Had he not done what he did, the attacker that wounded me would have finished it off with another blow, while I lay helpless and defenseless on the ground."
Gayron was taken aback with the startling news. He had been too engrossed in his own battle to see what happened, he trusted the words of his pad wan as to what happened to Master Jinn. A mistake he would not soon make again.
"Xanatos have you misspoken the truth to me and Master Plo Koon of what happened?"
"No, I saw him help Master Jinn up, but he wouldn't have needed help had Obi-Wan warned him in time."
"Master Jinn just told you that he was warned and opted to continue his battle with the man in front of him. That can't be Obi-Wan's fault no matter how against him you are."
Plo Koon spoke words of truth. He could feel Xani's spiteful disagreement of his former master training Obi-Wan.
"Well I don't why we are standing here right now. I will sort this out later and I may have a few things to say to your apprentice also Knight Gayron. However right now we need to organize a search for Obi-Wan. Xanatos you contact the Prime minister. Maybe he is grateful enough that we saved his life that he will graciously put some of his men in the search with us. There aren't that many places Obi-Wan can go in this tiny city. I think he would be noticed as an outsider for very few come this far out in the galaxy."
"Yes Master Jinn. Look I am sorry.."
"Save it Padawan Xanatos for later. I think once we have found Obi-Wan, there should be several apologies made to Obi-Wan and mine will be no exception. I should have defended the boy when he was first sent on this mission. I knew well enough he was not prepared and I should have spoken that concern honestly to the council. On the other hand Master Plo Koon, you as a council master should have been aware of the fact that you just can't throw a child in the middle a battle with no formal training or at least minimal training."
That said, all the Jedi left the hospital to begin their search for the little lost padawan, who really didn't know how to fend for himself in the outside world. Although this was the second time he ran away, the first was met by pirate this run-away adventure might ender him hungry alone, lost, and a chance to freeze to death at night if shelter was not found. Nights there dipped to 20 below or more.
The Jedi were not the only ones to search for Obi-Wan. The Prime minister put some of his personal guards, plus the local constables on the search.
Qui-Gon continued with his search as he commed Master Yoda for advice and needed moral support. He had a sudden desire to talk with his former master. If not to help him figure out where Obi-Wan might have gone then Master Yoda still would be valuable in giving Qui-Gon the courage and faith to go on.
"Recover you have my padawan?"
"Yes Master, but I did not comm you to talk about me."
"Sure I am you did not, however know I must how my padwan is. Right am I not?"
"Yes, I suppose but can you help me with finding Obi?"
"Not sure from here how I could? Question I have for you though."
"Yes master what is it?"
"Strong enough your bond with Obi-Wan to override his shields?"
What a question!! Jinn certainly had not epected that from his master. He had heard of such a thing, but had not attempted it nor had he known anyone who had. It was very risky.
If Obi-Wan fought the intrusion extremely hard and Jinn was successful with dropping the boys shields they could be shattered and destroyed by his attempt. He would find Obi-Wan but was he willing to find him in that manner? He wasn't sure.
"What if Obi-Wan fights against my entrance to his mind, Master. He will not survice the shock of the destroyed shields."
"Older than you I am padawan. In the Jedi much longer I think. Know well the rsik you take. Risk you take also if find the boy you do not before setting sun. Freeze in ten minutes or less our Obi will."
Jinn had never heard any terms of endearment from Yoda unless he was referring to Qui-Gon himself. No one other than himself had meant so much to the little troll of a master. Jinn realized Obi-Wan must have worked his way into Master Yoda's heart much like he had Jinn's.
"Very well I guess extreme circumstances call for extreme measures to counteract them. I will attempt it master, just as soon as I can get time by myself and focus on this. I wouldn't want to lose connection to the boy after I possibly scarfice his very life to find him. I hope our bond is as strong as I think. if not the outcome could be as bad as if his shields shattered. Either way we could lose the child."
"Lose the boy you will not. Faith in you I have. Faith in the force you should have. Also faith in Obi-Wan we both keep for without his faith in you and the force none of this can happen."
#######In a darken alley under some fire escape step where a trash bin sits###
//Darkness must come very early here. I hadn't noticed before. Boy I also didn't realize how cold it got with the onset of night. //
Obi-Wan had settled on a fenced-surrounded trash bin behind a restaurant as his sanctuary from the night's threats and the winter's cold. While his stomach grumbled from hunger Obi-Wan thought;
//At least I have the delicious aroma of food and the sound of merriment of good company that comes from the restaurant beside me…//
#####################
One more post should it it! Again, thank you for the feedback I have received on this one and continue reading my other two!!!
PEACE ewen
Jinn had piqued Obi-Wan's curiosity and he planned it that way. Kenobi had been hesitant to talk anything over with his master since the day of the saber training class. The day unbeknownst to him Obi-Wan had a conversation with Xani.
"Master Plo Koon has informed me that he knows perfectly well we are working here with a closed off bond. I did not tell which one of us closed it and why. Although I myself am not sure why you chose to do it, but I do know that it is your side of the bond that has been shielded. Care too explain?"
"I have no explanation at least right now."
"Obi-Wan we are dealing with a very new and tender bond here. You can't just close it off on a minute's notice and expect it to come right back when you drop your shields. It doesn't always work that way. How can we work as one if you want to take the burden of whatever it is disturbing you and cling to it like it holds value. It doesn't hold value child and it may destroy our bond or your chance of becoming a Jedi permanently. Plo Koon has already threatened to send you back to Coruscant on the next public transport that leaves here."
"Why I have done nothing."
"That's the point you have done absolutely nothing. You refuse to sit in on the conversations when we go over the diplomatic matters here, you don't want to be around the other Jedi, and you certainly aren't willing to mentally connect with me. That's not how a master and apprentice relationship evolves into almost one of singular thought."
"I am sorry I just need time."
"Well I am truly sorry Obi-Wan but time is something you don't have. You knew this. I thought you had made a speedy recovery over what happened to you."
"Yeah, but maybe you and I both thought wrong. I had so much to deal with when I got sick I could easily push the memories out of my head. Now with this mission and being around so many people at one time those memories have resurfaced and magnified themselves for me."
"Then I should have been made aware of this and you could have gone to a soul healer and talked it over with him."
Obi-Wan glanced back at his master and then turned to the window but Jinn got the feeling he looked into space not what was outside. It was just someplace to put his eyes rather than have to face his master.
"I don't need a soul healer to tell me I have problems and they are all up here."
Obi-Wan pointed to his head. His finger bounced off his head with such fierceness Jinn thought the boy might actually do himself harm.
"Everyone has things in their life up here as you put it that we have to deal with. Some can do it alone and some need help."
Jinn did the same thing and pointed to his head only he didn't use the fierceness, he only jabbed slightly to his.
"I may need help master but I don't want it and I refuse to have it. I closed the bond because my memories flooded in. They swirl endlessly in my head. There is no way to keep them hidden from anyone who would mind link with me and since there is only one who can I guess that means you."
"That's what I am here for, son."
"I am not your son. I'm not anyone's son now. The pirates saw to that and a great many other things I didn't even know about before they go a hold of me."
Jinn knew what they boy meant even though he just alluded to the abuse and wouldn't repeat what happened.
"See Obi you fear to even speak it yet it dwells in that head of yours. Maybe talking about it would help."
Obi-Wan grabbed his head as if in pain but he was not. He spun around and sat down on the bed behind him close to the window.
"No, no, no, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to tell you every little thing that happened. I want to forget but my mind won't let me. Xani was right! I am not good enough to be your apprentice. If I told you all the things that tormented up here in my mind, I could never look you in the eye again."
//Xani thought Jinn. When did he talk to Xanatos lately for Xani to be right about anything?//
"What do you mean Xani is right? When did you last speak to him?"
Obi knew he had "let the cat of out of the bag" and he would have to tell Jinn about he and Xanatos' conversation, though he thought it didn't matter now. Plo Koon would almost certainly send him home if he couldn't come to grips with his memories of abuse that once again plagued him.
"At the practice session when you got onto me for not doing so well. He and Knight Gayron were there and they heard you . He knows how bad I am with the saber and he said you wouldn't keep me and…. Well he kinda said I am not good enough for you. That seemed to have torn down any confidence I had. The nightmares, along with the horrible memories came gushing back and flooded my mind with things I thought I had successfully buried in the back of my mind."
Jinn saw things a lot clearer now. The main reason for everything to come crashing back so hard on the boy was because of his lack of self-confidence, instilled in him by Jinn's former padawan's words. Although they might not have been intentional to do damage and the worst kind too, damage was done that here on a mission Jinn had no way of knowing how to correct. Obi-Wan seemed unwilling now to even ask for the force to help and maybe worse yet he wouldn't ask his master for assistance. The boy again found himself alone in a world he thought surrounded him cruel and evil people.
//I suppose for whatever reason Xani had for saying what he did to Obi, the boy has put Xanatos in that group of "can't be trusted people". Maybe he has put all of us Jedi in it// now.
Jinn sat down beside Obi-Wan and even feared to touch him in the condition he was in.
"Listen to me padawan. I don't plan to get rid of you for any reason. You will find me hard to rid yourself of me even if you wish too. The use of the saber will be taught to you when we return. I have all the confidence in the galaxy that you will master its use and be very good at it. You have not been given the time. Maybe we Jedi have not even given you the time to heal the mental wounds left on your mind by your abusers. That will change Obi-Wan. However if you do not open your link to me by in the morning Plo Koon will know."
"But master you will know all the things that happened to me."
"I already know a great deal of them and I cant think of others being worse than what I saw once before. If they are and you had them buried, they are evidently out now and have to be dealt with. However you don't have to deal with them alone,I can help you. I will hold nothing against you for what happened. You are too blame for nothing. It might be better to let me see all the truths and atrocities than to tell me about them."
Obi-Wan turned to his master. He took both of Master Jinn's overly large and even rougher hands and placed one on each side of his head.
Jinn watched Obi as his hands trembled and his tunic front vibrated by the thumping of his heart through the material.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and did what his master had taught him on how to drop and raise his shields. This time though he willed his master's entrance to his mind so Qui-Gon could know personally what he went through. With at mind link Jinn would not only see what happened he would feel the pain and repercussions of it. This time he let his master in on every big and little vile detail of the abuse he sustained at the hands of the first pirate captain.
Qui-Gon Jinn's eyes turned to giant blue orbs at the shock of the torture Obi-Wan went through. He now clearly understood why the child had no wish to tell even him about it. These memories were tucked away so well that the last time Jinn entered his mind, he had no idea the extinct of Obi-Wan's abuse by the pirates.
//No wonder the child suffers nightmares…. . All of Obi-Wan's innocence was TAKEN from him that one day.//
Jinn abruptly withdrew his hands from Obi-Wan's head as if he had just touched a searing heat.
Obi-Wan took that to mean he was disgusted at what he saw so in turn he was disgusted with Obi-Wan.
Jinn was disgusted but Obi-Wan had it wrong. Had Jinn had the captain pirate before him now he thought himself capable of killing the man with his bare hands. Of course he did not say that to Kenobi.
Obi quickly got up and went over to the window, unable to face his master who he assumed didn't even want to look at him right now.
"Obi-Wan I don't know what I can say to make things better. I really don't think there is anything to say. You won't ever forget but the pain will ease with time and you have to learn to let go, although I know you can't do it all at one time. If we can just get through this mission and if you truly want to be a Jedi I will help you stow all those memories away and never bring them out again. But the first thing you have to do is trust me."
"Xanatos is right master I am not worthy to be your padawan."
"Xani is right about nothing and if need be I will tell him so. We can do this. We can complete this mission and go back and get the proper mental care for you. However you have to trust me. I am asking you to keep the bond open now that I know everything. Keep it opened and I can help you with the memories and to complete this mission successfully. We will deal with the other things later. Just know that I am here for you."
Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon.
"I will try master I will make more than an effort this time, I promises."
"I don't want empty promises like last time Obi and you will learn from my old master there is no "try" only "do". Just let me guide you in this and all will be well. That is my promise to you and it is not an empty one."
"All right master I will do my best."
"Very well. The first thing you have to do is go out there and show Master Plo Koon along with Xanatos and Knight Gayron that you are there for me; a working apprentice alongside his master."
"Give me a few minutes to freshen up master and I will be out."
########the next day##########
The Jedi walked down the street. They encircled the prime minister-elect as they did so. He was out greeting people along the route to the Senate offices where he would be sworn in. The Jedi acted as body guards.
Plo Koon edged his way up beside Qui-Gon.
"I don't know how you managed to get that boy to open his bond but it still will do you no good. Anyone can see his heart is not in this mission and quite possibly in even becoming a Jedi. I think for the best for all of us, you should just abandon the idea of taking him as your apprentice. I don't think he can overcome the abuse he suffered. A Jedi must never live in the past. There is only the future."
"You are very wrong Master Plo Koon."
Jinn hesitated a moment to survey a group of men to his left who seemed to follow the prime minister's every move since they left his home.
""One should not live in the past, but one should also not forget the present as they look to the future. The present is now and Obi-Wan is dealing with his memories now so in the future his mind will be clear to follow his quest to become a Jedi. I have not lost my faith in him and neither will I just give up on him now. No, if he is to be thrown out of the Jedi order you are going to have to write down you findings and reasoning's for why. They also will have to satisfy not only me but the council and I am not without friends there either."
"Don't threaten me Jinn, with your friends. Everyone knows Master Yoda will do anything you tell him. I know now you have Mace once again in your corner, but I am not without my persuasive ways with the council. We will just have to see how things turn out. I have seen nothing in the boy so far that would be lead me to a favorable assessment of him."
Plo Koon slowed his steps until he was once again in the back of the entourage.
Only a few more blocks till they would reach their destination but Jinn began to worry. He called Gayron back and discussed the men who amassed to double the amount of in just a few short minutes. They seemed to be attempting to circle the Jedi.
"I think we are in for trouble and very soon Knight Gayron."
"Yes I just mentioned to Xanatos that I think an attack is imminent and we are out in the open. What should be done?"
"There is a large building just ahead. I don't know what it is. It really doesn't matter. Start veering to the left as we walk. Pass it along to the other personal guards of the Prime minister. We want to be as close to that building as we can get. If we aren't attacked before we get there then we will go in and it will provide at least some kind of cover for us."
Gayron went back to his position.
They were very close to the building. The group had worked their way over to the left, closer to where they planned to make a run for it.
Just as the Jedi started rushing the Prime Minister toward the building, they were attacked.
Even Plo Koon drew his saber and engaged in battle. Obi-Wan stood startled by the pandemonium that had just erupted around them.
Quick qlimpses paraded a crossed his mind of the attack on his city by the pirates when his parents were killed. Some of the men dressed in long dark tunics but some were dressed not unlike the pirates who kidnapped him and killed his family.
Jinn's green saber glowed even in the light of day as he battled two men together when they lunged for the Prime minister. They fell quickly at the hand of Qui-Gon Jinn. However, the master had no time to see what happened to Obi-Wan for two more men replaced the downed attackers and he was once more lunging and somersaulting in mid-air to avoid a blaster shot. Obi- Wan still stood in the middle of the battle and couldn't move. He stood there frozen.
Xanatos saw Obi-Wan as he stood right in the middle of the battle and did not attempt to take cover. He was too busy battling an aggressor who was swinging a sword in his face, to help Obi. Xani glanced from Obi-Wan to his former master and saw a man coming up on Master Jinn from the back. Qui-Gon was engaged with battling three men and he did not know of the attack from his rear. Xani yelled to Obi-Wan, who was closer, thus able to here him.
"Warn your Master, Kenobi. He's being attacked from behind."
Obi-Wan looked over to where his master was. It only took a moment for it to register in Obi's mind what Xani had actually said and then another moment to get the words out, "Master, behind you."
However it was enough time for the man to advance and land a blow with his sword to the back of Jinn's leg just below his left knee. Jinn's legging, along with flesh and muscle was sliced into like soft cream-butter. Blood gushed from a gaping wound on his master's leg.
The man had attacked before Obi-Wan could even complete his warning. Every cell, every molecule, every fiber that was Obi-Wan Kenobi told him that it was his fault. Had he hesitated his warning? Did it take too long to form the words and then to actually shout them? Was it fear that caused him not get out the warning out in time? Obi's lack of self-confidence in himself swelled to unbelievable proportions. He blamed himself for Qui-Gon's injury and he was sure the others would blame him as well.
He was partially right. After the battle he would not only face the glaring opened accusations of Xanatos but also the forthright condemnation by a council member, Master Plo Koon.
Right now though nothing mattered except the welfare of his master. Obi-Wan did not hesitate to run to him and provide help. He grabbed the dropped saber and handed it back to Qui-Gon. He helped Jinn to his feet and back-pedaled out of the way so his master could continue battle. With each step Qui-Gon's life sustaining blood poured from the open wound, yet he still fought off his attackers.
Xani saw what happened but not all of it. He was not sure if Jinn's apprentice hesitated yet he so he willingly put the blame of his former master's injury on Obi-Wan's head. He was aflame with anger because the boy had not gotten the warning out of his mouth in time to keep Qui-Gon from being injured.
Xani fought harder than he had ever fought. He wanted the battle over so Master Jinn could get help for he knew his former master would fight until he dropped.
Gayron went over to assist Master Jinn. He could see Qui-Gon was losing blood too quickly.
Finally the battle was over and the Prime Minister safe.
A healer was called for.
Obi-Wan ran back over to his master and was angrily greeted by Xanatos. Master Jinn was just barely conscious from the loss of blood. He was awake not quite coherent as he willed his eyes to remained open. Although his injury was not life threatening, since the healers arrived immediately and started a blood transfusion, his wooziness from the blood loss made him think unclearly..
Obi-Wan tried to reach his master He was met and shoved away by Xanatos.
"You stay away from him, I told you to warn him. You took too long."
Jinn could here what was said but he was unable to defend his apprentice Obi-Wan. Everything was scrambled in his mind. When Xani came to kneel beside him he deliriously and wrongly thought that it was Obi-Wan. He groped for Obi's hand but in reality took the hand of his former apprentice, Padawan Xanatos.
Obi-Wan was not going to let Xanatos stop him from seeing his master. As soon as Xani let go of him to go to see to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan rushed to be by Master Jinn's side. However, his master's next words stopped the apprentice dead in his tracks.
"Ah...... Padawan, I can think of no other I would rather have by my side right now."
In his state of semi-consciousness and mental haze, Qui-Gon had reached out for the wrong apprentice, had frantically grasped the hand of the wrong apprentice, and had spoken the words of endearment to the wrong apprentice, Xanatos Crion instead of the intended one, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Obi-Wan could see Jinn's hand cradled in Xani's and thought his master clearly knew who he just spoke of.
Master Qui-Gon Jinn didn't want or need Obi by his side. He had just said that the only one who could give him comfort was Xanatos.
Jinn succumbed to the darkness of unconsciousness that had threatened to overcome him, now had succeeded. That was when Xanatos whirled around and turned on Obi-Wan.
"You hesitated, you little coward and my former master was almost killed because of your cowardice and incompetence."
"No, I mean I might have hesitated a moment. I'm not sure, but I don't think my master is hurt because I waited too long. I just think I didn't have enough time."
"See you aren't even sure what you did or if you hesitated or not. I hope Master Plo Koon reports this to the council. Not only were you unable to be allowed to carry a saber which might have saved your master today, you couldn't even yell a warning in time to help him."
Obi-Wan hung his head. He shook with fear. It was not fear for himself. It was for Qui-Gon and his injury.
Plo Koon stepped up right in Obi-Wan's face and when the child looked up, he spewed his venomous remarks.
"I plan to make sure the council knows very well how you jeopardized your master's life. First by not learning what you should have so you could have carried a saber, then because you froze in a battle and couldn't even yell a simple warning to him."
"I promise you Obi-Wan Kenobi, your days as a Jedi apprentice are numbered……."
Qui-Gon Jinn went to the healers ward on Norden, but Obi-Wan went on to the little cottage that had been given them to stay n. The prime minister had been safely delivered for inauguration and the assassins caught.
Knight Gayron mistook Obi-Wan's decision not to go with his master as one other than what actually it was. Obi-Wan was heart sick that his master had wanted Xanatos over him. Gayron thought just the trauma of the battle had spooked the child and although it was his duty and obligation to go with his master, Gayron would not pressure him to so..
//It's likely he will not be allowed to pursue his quest to be an apprentice anyway, if what my padawan said is true. He hesitated and refused to call to his master. A grave error and could have been a deadly mistake for Master Jinn had the blow not landed where it did.//
Gayron shook his head in sad resign. He had hoped for the best when it came to pairing of master and apprentice, but the with witnessing of such a mistake by his padawan there would be enough against Obi-Wan to immediately put him out of the Jedi order.
Master Plo Koon stayed at the side of the prime minister. Now that all the danger was over he stayed to reap his just rewards and praise over the rescue and safe delivery of the prime minister to his own inauguration.
Once at the healers ward Qui-Gon quickly regained consciousness and his vitals stabilized satisfactorily. Against his insistence that he was fine, he was told he would have to remain there overnight. He saw Xanatos sitting quietly beside him when he first woke up and assumed Obi-Wan had stepped out for moment. He remembered how gallantly Obi had tried to warn him and when he didn't receive the warning in time, how Obi helped him to his feet and retrieved his saber.
//Had he not thought so quickly and got me up and armed again, I might not be here right now. That one that landed the blow most determined to finish it. He just kept coming for me.//
His memory of it what happened was quite intact. He had heard the warning of Obi-Wan, however he misjudged his timing. He thought he could land just one more blow to one of his attackers in front of him before he turned to the back and defended himself from that one. He was wrong.
Qui-Gon felt the pain as the sword cut through his leggings and realized how badly he had misjudged his timing. It was not Obi's fault that Jinn was hurt, if it was anyone's fault, it was his for his hesitation. Of course the master did not know that Obi-Wan had been accused of anything other than trying and succeeding in helping him once he was down and unarmed.
Qui-Gon sat in the bed, feeling much better and waited patiently until that patience of his seem to lose its self in the time waiting for Obi-Wan.
"Are you feeling better Master?"
Xanatos waited to see if Qui-Gon would even answer him. He hadn't said anything since their arrival at the ward.
"UHN? Oh yes I feel much better. I don't know why I even have to stay overnight."
""I think they are just being cautious master because you lost so much blood. Everything is taken care now and you can use the rest."
"I suppose you are right? Where is Obi-Wan ? Did he step out to go get a drink?"
Jinn had not wanted to mention Obi to Xani. He knew he would feel much better if his padawan was here. He had not been able to feel him through their bond since he awoke from the loss of blood.
"I am sorry master, but he opted not to come to the hospital with you."
Something pulled at the big master's heart.
//He wasn't even concerned enough to come and see how I was?//
Jinn knew he was not thinking like a Jedi. Of course he was all right and maybe Obi just was overwhelmed by the attack he stood right in the middle of.
"Will he be here later?"
Xanatos got very nervous. He didn't know what to say to his former master. He could feel his stress over Obi-Wan not being there. He hated to make his master feel that badly but Jinn had to know it was for the best. Obi-Wan after all would not be his apprentice after all the truth came out about his incompetence.
Xani almost hated to tell his former master of Obi-Wan's incompetence and cowardice behavior.
Xanatos was just about to tell Master Jinn of all the circumstances around the attack and of the cowardly way his apprentice acted but he was saved from doing the dirty work when Master Plo Koon came bounding in the room in an overly jovial mood that confused even Master Jinn.
You could see the relief in Xanatos when he saw Master Plo Koon. He was a council master, surely he would know what to do.
Xanatos made eye contact with Plo Koon and moved his eyes trying to get the unbridled attention of Plo Koon. Plo Koon stopped and stared at Xani.
"Is there a problem Padawan Xanatos?
Plo Koon could not figure out why Xanatos was rolling his eyes as if he was in the middle of some kind of seizure,
"Well, Master Jinn was concerned because his padawan wasn't here. I was just about to tell him. Since you are here, I will let you visit with him. Then you will be able to more fully explain why Kenobi isn't here with his master as he should be, as is his rightful place."
Plo Koon straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Yes well…… yes, I suppose I can handle that for you Padawan. Go get something to eat and I will stay with Master Jinn."
#####back at the cottage Gayron and Obi-Wan#######
Gayron was not sure what to say to the young padawan that would bring him any comfort. It would be hard for him to return to the temple and be branded a coward. He would be considered to have brought shame to his master. Gayron thought maybe he should try to ease the worry of Obi-Wan. He was not aware of the fact that Obi-Wan didn't know he consequences of his actions, for he didn't quite know with accuracy what his actions truly had been..
"Look Obi when you get back to the temple, you will just have to hold your head up. None of the other padawans were here and they also didn't have to go through what all you have. I mean… I am sure Master Jinn will hold nothing against you. I am sure he will go to before the council for you."
//What is talking about? Will everyone think me a coward? I am not even sure what happened out there, How can they be so positive I was wrong in my actions?//
"You mean eveyone at the temple will know about this Knight Gayron?"
"Well I sure it will go before a review of various masters to see if you were in any way in the wrong, but like I said I am sure your master will defend you."
Obi-Wan knew that it meant the others on this mission thought Jinn's injury was the direct cause of Obi-Wan reflexive actions not being quick enough. Obi-Wan knew he would be ashamed, however his worry for his master overcame any shame he had for himself. He knew what he had to do.
I//t will be easier for my master to face everyone if I am not there as a reminder of the disgrace I have brought him. I guess Norden is just as good as any place to live. //
Master Gayron may I be excused? I am very tired."
"Yes of course that's an excellent idea."
Obi-Wan went into the bedroom and walked straight to the window; a window just like the one at home where he often watched life pass him by. He turned one time to look toward the door. Obi-Wan silently and slowly raised the window and slipped out being unnoticed and feeling unwanted…………………
###Back in the hospital ward where Qui-Gon and Plo Koon are.##########
Plo Koon was sincerely concerned for the master. Qui-Gon had been injured and betrayed by this boy he had pinned all his hope of the future on. Yes, Plo Koon had enough heart in him to sympathize with this master, but not enough to keep him from reporting his findings of the Kenobi child before the other council masters.. None of the assessments of Obi-Wan would be good and all of them would be backed up and collaborated by Padawan Xanatos and even Knight Gayron.
"Not that I don't appreciate your concern, Master Plo Koon, but I don't need a babysitter. I will tell you what I do need though. I need to know where my apprentice is. I want to thank Padawan Kenobi for saving my life……..."
############ A dip in the bacta tank, stitches, and a blood transfusion had rendered the Jedi master a bit tired, but in much better shape than when he was when he was brought to the healers ward. He had already dressed and waited on the other four Jedi. They would head for another small planet of the outer Quadrant to see how things progressed there.
Qui-Gon walked around the room just to get a feeling of how bad his leg was working Surprisingly, the master found that other than a little stiffness that was gradually leaving with each step he took,his leg was in good shape. He glanced out the window and saw three of the four Jedi he expected. Much to his disappointment, the one he wanted to see wasn't with them.
//Where is that boy now? Maybe Master Plo Koon had him stay to pack up my belongings. No, I told Gayron this morning we would leave immediately once they came for me. //
Jinn had already formed his line of questioning he had for his Jedi companions and he speedily jumped into them as soon as they entered his room.
"Gayron I saw you come up as I watched out the window. You are one shy a Jedi. I told you we would head directly to the ship. Just where is my padawan? Why isn't Obi-Wan with you now?"
So many questions but no one wanted to answer them, although they knew they would have too.
Plo Koon wasn't past being able to pass bad news along to the master now that he felt better. He launched into a long sermon of how Obi-Wan could not become a Jedi; was not worth of the Jedi to have considered him. As he watched the Jedi master's face grow red with anger, he finally decided to land the last blow to Qui-Gon Jinn.
"The last thing I think you will want to know is that the child ran away while I was up here with you last night."
"Last night! Why wasn't I informed before now? What happened? You were with him were you not Knight Garyon?"
"Yes but I assure you I did not say anything that would bring him added stress. If anything I tried to make it better. I told him how you would more than likely standup for him when he went before the review board."
"Why would Obi-Wan have to go before a board of reviews? Just what do you think he was guilty of yesterday, other than saving my life. Is that a crime now within the Jedi order?"
Xanatos felt is was time his master faced the truth.
"Master we all saw what Obi-Wan did in the middle of battle. He almost cost you your life when he hesitated on his warning to you."
"Padawan Xanatos you know none of the facts and I resent you thinking the worst of my new apprentice. Yes Obi-Wan warned me but he did not hestiate, I did. I thought I had enough time to finish the battle with the one ahead of me and didn't attack the one behind me in time. I suppose none of you saw the boy rush to me. help me off the ground, and retrieved my saber for me. Had he not done what he did, the attacker that wounded me would have finished it off with another blow, while I lay helpless and defenseless on the ground."
Gayron was taken aback with the startling news. He had been too engrossed in his own battle to see what happened, he trusted the words of his pad wan as to what happened to Master Jinn. A mistake he would not soon make again.
"Xanatos have you misspoken the truth to me and Master Plo Koon of what happened?"
"No, I saw him help Master Jinn up, but he wouldn't have needed help had Obi-Wan warned him in time."
"Master Jinn just told you that he was warned and opted to continue his battle with the man in front of him. That can't be Obi-Wan's fault no matter how against him you are."
Plo Koon spoke words of truth. He could feel Xani's spiteful disagreement of his former master training Obi-Wan.
"Well I don't why we are standing here right now. I will sort this out later and I may have a few things to say to your apprentice also Knight Gayron. However right now we need to organize a search for Obi-Wan. Xanatos you contact the Prime minister. Maybe he is grateful enough that we saved his life that he will graciously put some of his men in the search with us. There aren't that many places Obi-Wan can go in this tiny city. I think he would be noticed as an outsider for very few come this far out in the galaxy."
"Yes Master Jinn. Look I am sorry.."
"Save it Padawan Xanatos for later. I think once we have found Obi-Wan, there should be several apologies made to Obi-Wan and mine will be no exception. I should have defended the boy when he was first sent on this mission. I knew well enough he was not prepared and I should have spoken that concern honestly to the council. On the other hand Master Plo Koon, you as a council master should have been aware of the fact that you just can't throw a child in the middle a battle with no formal training or at least minimal training."
That said, all the Jedi left the hospital to begin their search for the little lost padawan, who really didn't know how to fend for himself in the outside world. Although this was the second time he ran away, the first was met by pirate this run-away adventure might ender him hungry alone, lost, and a chance to freeze to death at night if shelter was not found. Nights there dipped to 20 below or more.
The Jedi were not the only ones to search for Obi-Wan. The Prime minister put some of his personal guards, plus the local constables on the search.
Qui-Gon continued with his search as he commed Master Yoda for advice and needed moral support. He had a sudden desire to talk with his former master. If not to help him figure out where Obi-Wan might have gone then Master Yoda still would be valuable in giving Qui-Gon the courage and faith to go on.
"Recover you have my padawan?"
"Yes Master, but I did not comm you to talk about me."
"Sure I am you did not, however know I must how my padwan is. Right am I not?"
"Yes, I suppose but can you help me with finding Obi?"
"Not sure from here how I could? Question I have for you though."
"Yes master what is it?"
"Strong enough your bond with Obi-Wan to override his shields?"
What a question!! Jinn certainly had not epected that from his master. He had heard of such a thing, but had not attempted it nor had he known anyone who had. It was very risky.
If Obi-Wan fought the intrusion extremely hard and Jinn was successful with dropping the boys shields they could be shattered and destroyed by his attempt. He would find Obi-Wan but was he willing to find him in that manner? He wasn't sure.
"What if Obi-Wan fights against my entrance to his mind, Master. He will not survice the shock of the destroyed shields."
"Older than you I am padawan. In the Jedi much longer I think. Know well the rsik you take. Risk you take also if find the boy you do not before setting sun. Freeze in ten minutes or less our Obi will."
Jinn had never heard any terms of endearment from Yoda unless he was referring to Qui-Gon himself. No one other than himself had meant so much to the little troll of a master. Jinn realized Obi-Wan must have worked his way into Master Yoda's heart much like he had Jinn's.
"Very well I guess extreme circumstances call for extreme measures to counteract them. I will attempt it master, just as soon as I can get time by myself and focus on this. I wouldn't want to lose connection to the boy after I possibly scarfice his very life to find him. I hope our bond is as strong as I think. if not the outcome could be as bad as if his shields shattered. Either way we could lose the child."
"Lose the boy you will not. Faith in you I have. Faith in the force you should have. Also faith in Obi-Wan we both keep for without his faith in you and the force none of this can happen."
#######In a darken alley under some fire escape step where a trash bin sits###
//Darkness must come very early here. I hadn't noticed before. Boy I also didn't realize how cold it got with the onset of night. //
Obi-Wan had settled on a fenced-surrounded trash bin behind a restaurant as his sanctuary from the night's threats and the winter's cold. While his stomach grumbled from hunger Obi-Wan thought;
//At least I have the delicious aroma of food and the sound of merriment of good company that comes from the restaurant beside me…//
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One more post should it it! Again, thank you for the feedback I have received on this one and continue reading my other two!!!
PEACE ewen