Chibi Vegeta
(It's My Tail And I'll Cry If I Want To!)
Trunks watched nervously as his mother absorbed the information - well, he thought she was absorbing the information. It was hard to tell, as her eyes had a rather glazed look to them at the moment. Slowly, oh so slowly, Bulma's unblinking eyes traveled from her son to the baby she was holding against her shoulder, and she carefully lowered him to get another good look at his face. Vegeta, who had stopped crying when his son had revealed his identity, stared solemnly up at his mate, waiting for her to react.
After another few moments of watching his mom stare blankly at his dad, Trunks began to worry that maybe the shock had overloaded Bulma's mind. Taking a few hesitant steps toward the blue haired genius, the eight year old boy floated above the ground a foot or two so he was eye level with his mother. Bulma's crystal blue eyes didn't even twitch at the movement, fixated completely on the spiky haired child in her arms.
"Uhh... mom? Are you all right?" Trunks asked, his voice tinged with concern. When he still got no response, he waved a hand in front of her face, hoping to distract her enough to catch her attention. No response. Waving his hand again, he silently prayed to Kami that his mother hadn't completely lost her mental stability, and that he wouldn't have to commit her to an insane asylum.
Like water rushing from a broken dam, Bulma suddenly broke out in peals of helpless laughter. "Vegetahahaha!! Vegeta's a... Vegeta's a... hehehe!! Vegeta's a baby?!" Another set of giggles overtook her as she collapsed back into her chair, clutching the chibi to her chest to keep from dropping him. As her laughter continued for another minute or so, Goten sweatdropped and cast his friend a look that said, 'Your mom's a nutcase, Trunks.' Trunks sighed and nodded his agreement with his friend's assessment.
I fail to see what the hell is so funny! Vegeta mentally raged, struggling to free himself from his mate's grip. Woman, let go of me! I can't breathe! The poor, unfortunate chibi - the position Bulma was inadvertently holding him in placed his face directly in between her breasts, and try as he might, he could not seem to turn his head to a point where he could comfortably breathe. He was either simply too weak - which he sincerely hoped was not the case - or Bulma was actually stronger than he'd realized. Still pathetic compared to a Saiyan, but maybe strong enough to overpower a Saiyan baby with ease. After all, she'd been adventuring and living with Saiyans since she was sixteen years old; it stood to reason she might have developed some strength from all that!
Fortunately for the chibi prince's continued health, Bulma recovered from her fit and pulled Vegeta away from her chest, slipping her hands underneath his armpits so she could hold him out at arm's length and look him over. Gulping sweet air gratefully, Vegeta allowed himself to dangle there without complaint - well, for now at least - glad to be out of the suffocating embrace. That is, until the blue haired woman suddenly put her face in front of his and rubbed his nose with hers!
"Oh, Vegeta! Why didn't you tell me you were such an adorable baby?!" she exclaimed, grinning and rubbing noses again for good measure. Vegeta's eyes widened in indignation, preparing to growl out a protest, but Bulma wasn't done yet! Laying the naked chibi down in her lap, she tickled his chin and ruffled his spiky hair affectionately.
Stop that, onna! This is serious! Now shut up and let the brat explain - seeing as how I can't seem to form even the simplest of words with this damn child's mouth - so you can get to work on returning me to normal! Almost as an afterthought, he added, And I'm not 'adorable'! "Naddobal!"
"Umm... mom? He can't understand you," Trunks interjected, seeming somewhat reluctant to bring the conversation back to the important issue at hand.
Yes, I can! Vegeta cut in angrily, waving a fist at his son. "Assaca!" You just made a false presumption based on circumstantial evidence!
"What? How do you know that, Trunks?" Bulma blinked, ignoring the baby in her lap so she could glare at the lavender haired boy and his friend suspiciously. "And just how exactly did your father end up like this?"
Gulping nervously, the guilty duo exchanged glances, Goten silently encouraging his friend to continue. They were in too deep to back out now. Deciding to tackle the easier of his mother's questions, Trunks stepped forward and picked Vegeta's tail up. "Goten and I think he's a baby in his mind, too. Here, watch. You'll see what I mean."
What are you doing, brat? Let go of my tail! A small growl escaped from the baby's throat as he grabbed at his tail, determined to pull it from his son's hands. Surprisingly, Trunks didn't resist at all, allowing Vegeta to free his tail without any struggle whatsoever. Hmph. Good for you, brat. Now if only you'd listen to the other things I've been trying to tell you! He didn't realize that he hadn't actually spoken out loud this time - or tried to - as he clutched his tail protectively to his chest. Now to figure out what it was you wanted to show the onna to prove that I'm a baby... Pondering the matter over, he started to suck on the tip of his tail thoughtfully. Once I find out, I'll do exactly the opposite and prove that I can understand you!
"You're right," Bulma giggled suddenly, for no discernible reason that Vegeta could see. "Vegeta would never do that if he was in his right mind."
Huh? Do what? The chibi sucked furiously at his tail, eyes darting back and forth as he tried to think of what it was he could possibly be doing to convince them that he wasn't in complete possession of his mental facilities. Unable to see whatever it was they were referring to, the spiky haired prince scowled and removed one hand from his tail so he could make a fist and wave it angrily at the two idiots. I'm not doing anything, you bakas! What the hell gives you the idea that I'm 'not in my right mind'?! "Nnnathee bagaka! Mmmarammyn!" he mumbled around a mouthful of tail.
Smiling in amusement, Bulma rubbed Vegeta's bare tummy even as she turned her attention back to her son. "Okay, so that explains how you know he's a child in mind as well as body. Now," she narrowed her eyes suddenly, "how did Vegeta get turned into a baby?"
The lilac haired boy scuffed at the ground with one foot, guiltily avoiding eye contact with his mother. "Well, y'see, a while back, me an' Goten accidentally blew up our secret hide out." He glanced swiftly at his seven year old friend for support, then took a deep breath and continued. "We gathered the dragonballs so we could, you know, wish the hide out back, and then we had one more wish and we didn't know what to wish for and..." Remembering what it was that had made him screw the wish up in the first place, Trunks dejectedly rubbed his bruised arm. "Dad and I had been sparring right before this, and I'm still not really strong enough to keep up with him... But he treats me like I'm a baby!" he protested angrily. "It doesn't matter how hard I try, I'm still 'too weak' to meet his standards!" A small sigh escaped the boy's lips and he felt the brief flash of anger fade. "I was going to wish that I was stronger, so dad would respect me and be proud of me, but... Well, I kinda accidentally wished that dad knew what it was like to be a baby," he finished lamely.
Still oblivious to the tail in his mouth, Vegeta glared furiously at his son, hardly believing what he had just heard. I do not treat you like a baby, brat! If I did, I wouldn't even bother to spar with you at all! He was angry, damn it! His own son had wished him into a... a helpless infant, unable to fend off even one stupid onna who kept rubbing at his tummy! Distracted by said belly rubbing, Vegeta tried to bat at Bulma's fingers to discourage her from continuing her annoying actions. Unfortunately, Bulma only seemed to find this entertaining, grabbing his tiny fist and bouncing it up and down as though she was trying to shake his hand. Vegeta was not amused.
Her attention still on the baby she was playing with, Bulma's words, however, were aimed at the eight year old boy waiting uncertainly for her reaction. "So, let me get this straight. You took the Dragon - radar without permission - ran off who knows where to collect the dragonballs - again, without permission - and then you used the dragonballs - without permission or even thinking about what your second wish would be - to fix your hide out... and then you accidentally changed your father into a baby. Did I get everything?" She glanced at Trunks long enough to catch the weak nod of his response, then returned her gaze to chibi Vegeta to buy herself enough time to organize her thoughts. She couldn't help but smile fondly as the destroyer of worlds and Prince of a race of fierce warriors continued to suck on his tail, one hand curled around the fuzzy appendage and the other caught in Bulma's hand. "Well, I can't argue that he had it coming," she finally said, startling all three Saiyans. "I've always told the baka that he needed to ease up on you, but would he listen? Nooo..." Rolling her eyes in exasperation, the blue haired genius brushed a lock of hair out of the baby's eyes. "'Woman!'" she growled in a fair imitation of Vegeta's voice. "'Do not tell me how to train my son!' Stubborn idiot. But anyway, to return to the subject at hand, you still broke some pretty important rules, mister! Both of you!" Bulma tightened her lips firmly and scowled at Goten and Trunks, who ducked their heads sheepishly. "Well, let the punishment fit the crime, I always say. Until I figure out a way to return Vegeta to normal, you two are going to help me take care of him!"
Trunks blinked. That was it? No ranting, no thrown objects, no suspended computer privileges, or extra chores? He couldn't believe his luck -
"Oh, and Trunks? Goten?" Bulma cut into his mental celebration. "Taking care of babies is a lot of work, as I should know. You'll be helping feed him, change his diapers, play with him - baby games, not sparring - pick up after him, and keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get into any trouble." Just like that, reality crashed down on the two demis' heads and the groaned simultaneously. No, they might not be having the usual kind of punishment - what they now faced was much, much worse. "Goten," she continued, "you only have to help out when you come to visit - which had better be at least once a week, or I'll have to call Chi-Chi! You're getting off easier than Trunks, since he is the one who made the wish in the first place." She still intended to call her friend anyway, as the news of her husband's... condition... was just too big to keep to herself! She'd probably find out on her own anyway, so there was no real point in keeping it secret.
Exchanging sighs of resignation, Goten and Trunks nodded their heads meekly and accepted their punishment, since there wasn't much else they could do. They knew from experience that protesting would only earn them added punishment. Vegeta, however, was outraged at the thought of having to suffer through the two brats' care taking, of being fed, and diapered, and generally being treated like a helpless, mindless child - even if that was exactly what he was at the moment (minus the mindless part). Onna, I will not allow either of these brats to... baby-sit me! he growled with heavy distaste. I am not a child, damn it, and I refuse to be treated like one! "Braba nottadan refaba!" he gurgled, unconsciously sucking on his tail when he was finished protesting.
Unlike his previous outbursts, this one caught Bulma's attention, and the blue haired beauty frowned down at the spiky haired chibi in her lap. Wrapping her hand around Vegeta's tail, she gently pulled the slobbery end out of his mouth and wiped it off on her shirt.
Huh? Vegeta blinked at the appendage his mate now held in her hand. How'd that get in my mouth? His eyes widened as he suddenly realized he had been sucking on his tail again! I am the Prince of all Saiyans! I do not suck on my tail!
"We'll need to get his tail cut off, of course," Bulma thought out loud, absentmindedly tickling Vegeta's nose with the tip of his own tail. The infant prince sneezed and grabbed at his tail, missing by a few inches as Bulma pulled it back. Then what she said caught up with him, and his eyes widened with horror.
What?! Vegeta yelped. Onna, there's absolutely no reason to cut my tail off! A tail is a Saiyan's pride and a source of strength and I will not allow you to cut mine off! The only good thing that's come out of this whole mess is regaining my tail, and you want to cut it off!?! He lunged at his captive tail with renewed determination, this time managing to grab hold of it and yank it free, though doing so made him wince. Apparently, his tail was as sensitive as it had been as a child, and not 'desensitized' like it had been when he had first fought Goku. But right now that didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that his mate was plotting to remove his tail! Clutching his tail to his chest protectively, he glowered up at the female's amused face. What are you smiling about, woman? he growled. This is serious!
"Why do we need to cut his tail off, Bulma?" Goten asked curiously, speaking up for the first time since he and Trunks had walked in. He found he was having a hard time keeping a smile of his own face, since he found it incredibly funny that mean old Mr. Vegeta kept chasing after his tail and sucking on it. He kind of wanted the baby to keep his tail!
"Well, two reasons, Goten," Bulma answered truthfully. "For one thing, it'd be safer for him if we had it removed. Saiyan tails are rather sensitive, so he could easily get hurt if someone stepped on it, or if it got caught in a door, or a million other things happened to it. He's helpless now, so he can't protect himself from things like that."
So be more careful around me! Vegeta raged, letting go of his tail so he could shake his fist angrily in his mate's direction. Sensitivity and vulnerability is no excuse to remove a Saiyan child's tail! If it were, no Saiyan in existence would have a tail at all!
"The other reason," she continued obliviously, "is that Saiyan tails are just plain dangerous. I mean, imagine if he got a good look at the moon! He'd go 'ape' on us and might accidentally kill innocent people before someone could stop him!"
"But, Bulma, you forgot!" a new voice interjected suddenly, catching all four off guard. Four heads snapped up in the direction of the voice - well, Vegeta's head only turned in that direction, as he was still on his back in Bulma's lap - to discover the pleasantly smiling face of Goku in their midst. "There's no danger of the baby going oozaru, Bulma. Don't you remember? Piccolo destroyed the moon and no one ever brought it back."
"Daddy!" Goten cheered, running up to hug his father's leg. Goku smiled and ruffled the child's hair affectionately before turning his attention back on Bulma and the chibi in her lap.
Cradling Vegeta in her arms, Bulma stood up and gave her old friend a sunny smile. "Goku! How long have you been here?"
The spiky haired Saiyan scratched the back of his head and grinned in the way his family was known for. "Well, just long enough to hear you talking about cutting off the baby's tail. I was eating lunch over at Master Roshi's house when I noticed someone using the dragonballs to summon Shenlong. I figured it was probably Goten and Trunks, so I finished eating, locked onto their ki and used my Instant Transmission to get here and, well, here I am!" he finished cheerfully. "Anyway, like I said, there's no moon, so there's really no danger in letting him keep his tail. We'll just have to be more careful around him, same as me and Chi-Chi did when we first had Gohan."
"Hmm... I guess you're right, Goku. And his tail is rather cute!" Bulma giggled.
A feeling of intense relief washed over the tiny Saiyan and he unknowingly began to smile. I could almost thank you for that, Kakarot. Not that I'd ever tell you that, of course. Yes, he was more than pleased that he would get to keep his tail after all. Who knows? When the onna finds a way to change me back into an adult, maybe I'll get to keep my tail! Now that would be something to look forward to!
"He's a cute little tyke, isn't he?" Goku grinned, holding his arms out. "May I hold him, Bulma?"
Vegeta's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest vehemently, but wasn't given the chance as the blue haired woman deposited him in his long time rival's arms. "Why, sure, Goku! Be my guest!" A smirk that was uncannily similar to a certain Saiya-jin no Ouji's crossed Bulma delicate features when Goku cradled Vegeta in his arms, making silly faces. Damn, I wish I had a camera!
The relief that Vegeta had been feeling from having his tail spared vanished like a pricked bubble, replaced instead by humiliation and outrage. Let go of me, you third class baka! How dare you play with me, the Prince of all Saiyans, like a baby! How dare you even touch me! I swear, when I get my normal body back, I'll kill you! Now PUT ME DOWN! Curling his hands into little fists, he determinedly pounded on the larger Saiyan's chest, growling as menacingly as his childish throat would allow.
"Well, aren't you a strong one?" Goku laughed, not at all fazed by the baby's attacks. "I'm sure you'll grow up to be quite the warrior someday! Say, Bulma?" He tilted his head to peer at his friend inquisitively. "Why didn't you tell me you and Vegeta had another baby?" Grinning broadly, he gently tossed Vegeta in the air and caught him on the way down, ruffling his hair affectionately. "He looks just like his dad!"
Vegeta's first response to being launched into the air was to use his ki to control his momentum, but the moment he tried to summon his energy, he came to the sudden realization that his ki was either too low for flight, or his body was incapable of controlling ki. Growling his frustration with this discovery, he glared up at the man who, at this moment, literally held Vegeta's fate in his hands. Why the hell does everyone immediately assume that I'm someone else's baby?! Although I don't suppose I could expect anything else from this baka! If you drop me, Kakarot, I swear I'll kill you, wish you back, and then kill you again!
"Actually, Goku," Bulma chortled. "That is Vegeta. When Goten and Trunks summoned the Dragon, Trunks accidentally wished his father like that."
"WHAT?!" Goku yelped, his eyes as wide as saucers, shifting from Bulma to the baby in his arms, and back again. "You're kidding! Vegeta's a baby?!" At Bulma's nod, the defender of Earth gaped down at Vegeta, stunned beyond words for several long moments. Slowly, a large grin spread across his face, a grin that held a hint of mischievousness. "I never would have thought Vegeta was such a cute baby! Is he all baby? Or just his body?"
I am not cute! Vegeta protested angrily, pounding a chubby little fist against his rival's chest again.
"All baby," Bulma confirmed, watching in amusement as Trunks and Goten began sneaking out of the room while Goku was distracted. Not that it would do them much good. They'd have to face the consequences sooner or later. "He was sucking on his tail half the time I was talking to Trunks and Goten, and that's not something I can imagine Vegeta would do if he was aware of his actions."
Nodding thoughtfully, Goku caught the chibi prince's fist in his hand in mid-punch. "Well, if he's all chibi," the physically older Saiyan reasoned, the spark of mischief gleaming in his eyes as he cradled Vegeta in one arm. "Then he won't mind if I do this!" Quick as lightning, the fingers of Goku's free hand danced across Vegeta's ribs, tickling him mercilessly as the broad grin returned to his face in full force.
Unable to control his body's reactions, Vegeta began to giggle helplessly, squirming under his fellow Saiyan's fingers in a futile effort to escape. Inwardly he was cursing both Goku and himself, the baka for humiliating him like this, and himself for being unable to do anything about it. Curse you, Kakarot!! "Hehehehehehehe!!" he laughed, shrieking and batting at Goku's hand in an attempt to fend him off. Unsuccessfully, of course.
"Wow, it's hard to believe that's Vegeta!" Goku laughed, letting his fingers come to a stop. "I mean, I don't think I've ever seen Vegeta smile, let alone laugh!"
The instant Goku's fingers stopped tickling him, the chibi Vegeta opened his mouth and screamed out all the humiliation, frustration, anger, and indignation of the past few minutes. KAAKAAROOOT!!! "WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"
~*~
Wow, this chapter ended up pretty long (by my standards). But I just couldn't find a good stopping place! Not that any of YOU are complaining. *grins*
By the way, I do NOT have a mailing list for this story, so please don't ask to be notified of updates. I may eventually form a mailing list, but not now. Sorry!
You know the drill. Please review. ^_^