With that bit of self-advertisement, on with the story!
Disclaimer: It's not fair! I don't own DBZ!! *sniffles* All I own is this old and moldy cupcake that I forgot I'd been saving and has been sitting in this cookie tin for weeks now.... I don't suppose Akira Toriyama would trade DBZ for my cupcake, would he?
Chibi Vegeta
(Tail Woes, Furniture, and Baby Clothes)
"Awww, poor little guy," Bulma cooed, smoothing Vegeta's hair as the little baby continued to bawl his head off in Goku's arms. "Shhh... don't cry, Veggie-chan. It's okay."
No, it is not okay! Vegeta screamed wordlessly. Not only have I just been subjected to the humiliation of being tickled by that brain damaged, soft hearted, low class idiot, but I giggled in response!! I am the Prince of all Saiyans! I DO NOT GIGGLE!!! Pausing to inhale deeply, the spiky haired chibi screwed up his face into an expression of utter fury, even as he tried to kick Goku with his pudgy feet. AND DON'T CALL ME VEGGIE-CHAN!! "Docamma vecan!!!"
Seeing that Vegeta was not to be mollified by mere words of comfort, Bulma held out her arms, looking up at Goku as she said, "Here, Goku. Let me hold him. He probably just misses his mommy, whoever she was, so maybe if he's held by a woman he'll calm down." Smiling down at her infant husband, the blue haired scientist felt a surge of pity and maternal protectiveness for him. After all, with his mind reverted to the age and memories he had as a baby, chibi Vegeta would be feeling disoriented and lost here on Earth, separated from the only family he'd recognize at his age. He was a helpless orphan child who needed someone to care for him, and Bulma felt that someone should be her - his mate, or future mate, depending on how you looked at it.
Vegeta was about to protest the allegation that he "missed his mommy" but was cut off when Goku shifted him to rest against his shoulder, rather than passing him off to Bulma. "Actually, Bulma, there's an easier way to calm him down," the tall Saiyan stated good naturedly, a smile tugging at his lips as fond memories resurfaced in his mind. "Let me show you something Chi-Chi and I learned when we were raising Gohan. You wouldn't know about it, I don't think, 'cause you had Trunks's tail cut off right after he was born."
What are you talking about? Vegeta growled even as he tried to shove himself away from his rival, not wanting to be held in any position that was even remotely affectionate by his hated enemy. He was, unfortunately, unsuccessful. Goku's hold on him was simply too strong for an infant to have any chance of altering it, though that didn't mean he would let that keep him from trying. Far be it from him to accept his condition! What does my son's tail have to do with 'calming me down'?
Bulma watched in fascination as Goku supported the baby with one arm, lifting his free hand to rest on Vegeta's fuzzy brown tail... and then calmly proceeded to stroke the length of the furry appendage, keeping his movements slow and rhythmic. Realization as to what the other Saiyan was doing crashed into Vegeta's shocked and outraged mind at the same time as a wave of warmth and well-being that enveloped him like a comforting blanket. Opening his mouth to angrily protest what was happening to him, the little prince was horrified to find that the only thing that emerged from his throat was a soft purring noise, a sound he had not made in many, many years - not since he was a child and still had his tail. It was the sound of a happy Saiyan baby. And it was being caused by Kakarot.
A burning rage flared up inside Vegeta's mind at the infantile behavior he was exhibiting and at his hated rival for causing it in the first place, and he started to weakly struggle in Goku's arms, fighting the effects of having his tail petted. He even managed a small growl past all the purrs, curling a fist with the intent to pound it against his captor's chest. Unfortunately for Vegeta, however, the effects of the tail petting were too great, easily overpowering his feeble attempts to resist, and the prince's mind was quickly submerged in a fog of drowsiness that stifled all conscious thought. Free of any directives from his brain, his child body was able to react as any normal Saiyan baby would to having his tail stroked like this. Curling up in the arms of whoever was holding him, Vegeta continued to purr contentedly, his eyelids drooping as he became more and more vulnerable to the sleepiness that was creeping up on him. It had, after all, been a rather stressful afternoon for him, and his body was only that of a baby, not having much energy and needing plenty of naps, and that tail petting was so very relaxing. With a little yawn and a final adjustment of his position to make himself more comfortable, Vegeta's eyes closed completely and he fell into a blissful sleep.
~*~
A few moments of awed silence passed after Vegeta dozed off, broken only by the sound of his soft snores, as Bulma openly gaped at the scene before her. Logically, she understood that this wasn't the Vegeta she knew, that this was her husband back when he was only a child and that he naturally wouldn't hold the same grudges and prejudices that the grown man did. Even so, it was still utterly weird to see him first purring and then sleeping peacefully in the arms of the man he hated most.
"Wow," she muttered to herself, gradually overcoming her shock. "I wish I'd known about that when Trunks was born - I'd have let him keep his tail for a while and saved myself a lot of trouble getting him to sleep! Not to mention all the times he pulled a fit over something..."
Still stroking Vegeta's tail to make sure he stayed firmly planted in the land of dreams, Goku chuckled wryly. "It doesn't work quite like that, Bulma. Sure, petting his tail might help calm him down, but if he has something to be genuinely upset about - like if he got injured or if he's hungry - it wouldn't do much good. That is," he amended, "if he's like Gohan was at that age. He was probably already tired to begin with, he just needed to relax a bit before he could fall asleep."
"It still would have been useful for all those times when Trunks was tired but too stubborn to go to sleep, or just fussing over nothing," Bulma argued back. "Maybe if I have any other children, I'll let them keep their tails - for a little while anyway." She pursed her lips as she looked at the sleeping Vegeta speculatively, then held her arms out again. "Here, give him to me, Goku. We need to get a diaper and some clothes on him, and I'll need your help getting out the old baby furniture."
Goku nodded and passed the sleeping chibi over to his blue haired friend, being careful not to wake him up, and followed Bulma out of the lab and down the halls of Capsule Corporation. His mouth twitched with amusement as he watched Bulma cradle her small husband lovingly and ruffling his spiky black hair, acting a lot more like his mother than his mate. In response to this, the naked child murmured quietly, his chubby fingers unconsciously curling around a fistful of Bulma's shirt. Fortunately, he didn't wake up, instead settling back into the blissful slumber of an innocent baby.
After walking down the hall for a ways, Bulma finally stopped at a door and waited for Goku to open it before stepping through. Inside a moderately size room - for Capsule Corp., anyway - were stacked dozens of boxes and disassembled baby furniture. "I decided to store Trunks's old things in this room, rather than in capsules, because the capsules probably would have gotten lost before I'd need them again," Bulma explained. "You know how my parents are about losing or misplacing things. Besides, this has a more 'nostalgic' feel to it; I can just walk in and reminisce about Trunks's childhood any time I feel like it, without actually having to set anything up." Smiling at the memories embodied by the objects within the room, the blue haired genius shifted Vegeta to a more comfortable position and started examining the various boxes and furniture. "Okay, there's the crib, and there's the changing table..." she nodded her head in the direction of the items in question. "That box has some clothes that would probably fit him... Hmmm... and a play pen. We'll definitely need a play pen... now where could it be...?"
While Bulma searched for the elusive play pen, Goku set to work pulling the indicated boxes out into the hall to separate them from the rest. Bulma still hadn't located the play pen, so Goku set about looking through the assorted stacks of toys and clothes to see if it was hiding behind one of them. "Say, Bulma," he said thoughtfully as he peered behind a table with miscellaneous boxes piled on time. "What about the diapers? Did you keep any from when Trunks was a baby, or are you going to have to buy some new ones?"
"Hmm..." Bulma mused over the question for a moment, leaning against the wall while she did so. "I might have, Goku, but even if I did I don't think we could use them. The last diapers I bought for Trunks were meant for two and three year olds, so they'd be too big. We'll just have to use a cloth diaper until I can buy some in Vegeta's size. Old fashioned, I know, but I liked to be prepared for anything. They should be in that box right behind you, the one labeled "Cloth Diapers." Examining the label on another large box, she grinned triumphantly and nodded her head in its direction. "Hey, I found the play pen!" The human female eyed the pile of stuff that her Saiyan friend had accumulated in the hall and nodded approvingly. "Okay, I think that's all we need for now. After I get Vegeta dressed, I'm going to take him shopping. We'll need special diapers for him, since he has that tail of his. Maybe we can used the kind of diaper they use for the animal people? If all else fails, I supposed I could just poke holes in the back of some normal ones...."
Dragging the last of the boxes Bulma had indicated out into the hall, Goku shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Sorry, Bulma, I don't know what to suggest. Chi-Chi only ever used cloth diapers for Gohan, since it was too far to the nearest store and I didn't have my license then." Placing his hand behind his head, he laughed wryly. "And you know as well as I do how much she doesn't like me carrying her through the air for long distances. I think she just hates not being in control. Anyway, cloth diapers were more convenient, and cheaper, since they're reusable, so that's what we used. We never had a problem with fitting them around Gohan's tail beyond having to pin them up around his tail so they wouldn't fall off."
"Hmm... Well, I think I'm going to look into buying diapers from somewhere rather than use cloth diapers," Bulma said, shifting the sleeping baby in her arms to another position so her arms wouldn't become too tired. "Disposable diapers would be much more convenient for me to deal with, if I can find some that would accommodate Vegeta's tail. If I can't find anything else, then I guess I'll just have to go with cloth diapers." Spotting one last item of interest in the storage room, the beautiful scientist darted back inside and pulled the baby stroller out from behind a stack of baby books. "Perfect!" she crowed. "This is exactly what I'll need for when I take Vegeta shopping with me! In fact, I could probably use it right now." With an expert use of one arm and her legs, Bulma managed to set the stroller up and gently deposited her burden in the seat of the baby blue contraption. "Whew, that's much better! He may only be a baby, and a somewhat small one, at that, but he still weighs in your arms! Now, to get some clothes on him..." So saying, she knelt down next to the box with the diapers in it and pulled out a piece of cloth and three diaper pins.
Always one to be helpful, Goku eyed the various boxes of disassembled furniture and gave he friend a questioning look. "Bulma, do you want me to help set these up for you?"
"Oh, Goku, would you?" Ignoring the diaper for a moment, Bulma gave the younger man her most winning smile, hoping to get out of the task of setting up furniture completely. "In fact, why don't you do that while I take Vegeta shopping? I should probably take Trunks with me, too. I've been meaning to buy him some new clothes for a while now, and that way he'll be out of your hair while you're doing that."
"Sure thing," was Goku's amiable reply to Bulma's request. "I'm sure Chi-Chi won't mind if I'm gone a little longer, just so long as I'm not late for dinner." The younger man reached down and easily hefted the boxes of furniture, started off down the hall towards the room that had once been Trunks's nursery.
"Ha! As if you'd ever be late for dinner, Goku!" Grinning in a teasing manner, Bulma returned to her task of folding the square of cloth and setting her sleeping husband on top. Grabbing a diaper pin from the three she had selected earlier, she hurriedly began to pin the diaper around Vegeta's waist, eager to escape the odious chore of trying to puzzle through the instructions of furniture assembly. In her haste, she grabbed the third and final pin, the one which would pin the diaper up around Vegeta's tail, rolled the chibi onto his tummy so she could gain access to the back of the diaper - which he somehow miraculously managed to sleep through - and poked the sharp point through the cloth and straight into the baby's tail.
"Wah!" Vegeta yelped in pain, eyes snapping open with a wince. Fortunately for him, the pin had only poked him a little, barely breaking the surface of the skin, but considering the sensitivity of a Saiyan's tail, it was still painful enough to bring him to a rude awakening. Tears involuntarily leaked from the corners of his eyes even as he flipped himself onto his back to face whatever had attacked his tail.
"Oh, Vegeta, I'm so sorry!" cried Bulma, dropping the diaper pin so she could scoop him up in her arms to give him a comforting hug. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Smothering him with kisses, she stroked his tail as Goku had shown her in an effort to prevent his sniffles from developing into a full fledged wail. Vegeta was less than appreciative.
Woman, stop that! "Woona dabat!" he protested, squirming futilely in his mate's arms. Spotting the dropped pin, it wasn't hard for him to guess what weapon had been used to inflict him with the pain that had woken him up. As if a little pin like that could hurt me! When the prick in his tail throbbed a bit, he silently amended that statement. Much. But that's beside the point! Stop petting my tail! I am not a baby!! "Nodda bee!" Much to his annoyance, a few involuntary purrs slipped from his throat in response to his mate's ministrations.
Hearing Vegeta's purrs and his lack of crying, Bulma naturally assumed that her efforts had been successful, and she smiled triumphantly. "There there, you're okay," she cooed, tickling his chin affectionately. "Just let me put this last pin on your diaper, then we can get you dressed and ready to go shopping!" So saying, she once again her chibi husband belly down on the ground, swiftly fitted the diaper around the Saiyan baby's tail, and pinned it there before he could so much as protest. She turned him over again and left him laying face up on the ground while she rummaged through a box of clothes for something suitable for him to wear.
Vegeta's eyes widened and he froze in shock and horror at the implications of the human woman's words. His eyes traveled down to his waist where they met with the unwanted confirmation of what his mate had just said. There was a diaper fastened snugly around the lower half of his body. He... was wearing... a diaper. A gurgling growl rumbled from his tiny chest as visions of the graphic mutilation of his firstborn son - the cause of this whole entire mess, and thus the person to blame for his current humiliation - passed through his mind accompanied by a vicious bloodlust. When I get my hands on that brat-
"Here we go!" Bulma cheerfully interrupted his mental tirade, holding up a simple blue shirt with a little yellow star on the front. Pulling Vegeta into her lap, she shoved the neck of the shirt over his head in a manner that left his hair spiking out in odd directions, then began to work on pulling his chubby arms up and into the sleeves. "Y'know, it's too bad I don't have any onesies or pants with holes for your tail. Guess you'll just have to go in only a shirt and diaper. Oh well, that's what this shopping trip is for - to get you some clothes that will fit!"
Ack! Onna, let go of my arm! I can get them through on my own, and your 'help' is causing more trouble than it's solving! "Wah! Nalego marm! Gehm too mahn heccamo tabblesa!" As soon as his arms popped out of the sleeves and Bulma had tugged the shirt down around his torso, he scowled and waved a fist in her direction. And if you think I'm going shopping with you, think again! We have plenty of perfectly good clothes for me to wear from when Trunks was a baby - just poke a hole in the back or let me go without pants entirely! And I certainly won't need very many since you are going to change me back without delay!!!
Smoothing Vegeta's hair back into its usual wild position, Bulma chuckled with amusement. "Well, you're certainly in a talkative mood! That nap must have been just what you needed to perk you up. Come on, let's go find Trunks." Plopping the scowling child in the stroller she'd extracted from the storage room, the slim genius buckled him in and strode off down the hall, following the mother's intuition that told her where she'd probably find her son.
You know, for someone whose mate has been turned into an infant, you're taking this whole thing pretty damn well, Vegeta grumbled to himself, fiddling with the seat buckle in an attempt to open it. So far, it wasn't working very well. The stupid mechanism had apparently been made proof to the probing fingers of curious and mischievous children, thus preventing the young prince from making an escape should his mate turn her back on him. He tried simply crushing the damn thing in his hands, but that effort also proved fruitless. He was either too weak or the material used to build it was too strong for him to even damage it. It didn't occur to him that maybe it just hadn't entered Bulma's mind yet that perhaps this condition couldn't be solved with technology, that they might have to wait a full year before returning him to normal. Nor did it occur to him that perhaps the novelty of the situation hadn't worn off yet, that the full implications of Vegeta's condition hadn't sunk in yet. No, all he knew was that his blue haired mate was acting too damn cheerful about the whole situation and didn't seem concerned in the slightest, and, frankly, that annoyed him to no end.
Not to mention the fact that he still hadn't figured out a way to convince the people around him that he was still in full possession of him mental faculties.
~*~
"Come on, Goten! Quit fooling around! When my dad changes back to normal, if he finds out we were the ones who turned him into a baby in the first place, he's going to kill us! We have to train so we're strong enough that he can't beat us to a bloody pulp!" Trunks stood facing his best friend, a white aura of energy dancing around his body and an impatient look on his face. His hands curled into fists as his body shifted into a defensive stance, ready to attack or defend at any moment.
"But, Trunks, I thought we were hiding from your mom so we wouldn't have to help out with your dad bein' a baby!" the younger demi Saiyan protested. The two boys were inside the now vacant gravity room, which Trunks had activated so that a full 100 times Earth's gravity was pulling down on their bodies. Powering up enough so that he could remain upright, Goten gave his friend a confused look. "Besides, I'm not the one who made the wish! That was you, Trunks!"
Trunks rolled his eyes in exasperation at the seven year old's logic. "Do you think my dad'll care about that, Goten? In his mind, anything that I do, you do too!" Which is usually the case, he added silently. "Now come on and power up! If we can become Super Saiyans, then maybe we can keep my dad from killing us! We're close, Goten, I just know it! We just need to train harder!"
"Okay, Trunks," Goten agreed, excited by the prospect of becoming a Super Saiyan like his brother and his father. Besides which, he enjoyed sparring with his best friend no matter what the reason. The only reason he'd protested was the ingrained need to hide his ki when hiding from someone, since most of the people who would be looking for them could sense ki. Trunks had just convinced Goten that the need to train outweighed the need to hide, even if their spar got cut short because they were found.
Half an hour passed as the two boys traded blows, challenging their limits as they fought against each other and the gravity that weighed their bodies down. Both were breathing heavily from their physical exertion, but neither was ready to call it quits yet. In their minds, they could see the image of golden hair and magnified energy as just a few more punches and blows away, tantalizingly close if only they reached just a little further. Thoroughly engrossed in their fight, they were, of course, taken completely off guard when the gravity suddenly shut up and Bulma stepped inside, pushing a stroller containing a slightly disgruntled baby Vegeta in front of her.
"I thought I'd find you in here, knowing how much you two love to fight, and the small explosions were something of a giveaway." Smiling knowingly, Bulma folded her arms and gave the two a mildly reproving look. "You two aren't getting out of your punishment that easily, you know. Trunks, you're going shopping with me. I need someone to help me keep an eye on Vegeta while I find some clothes that will fit him and his tail. Goten, your dad is helping to set up the baby furniture in Trunks's old nursery, and I want you to go help him."
Twin looks of dismay passed across the faces of the two demi Saiyans, although Trunks's was a little more desperate than Goten's. "But, mom-"
"No 'buts,' Trunks!" Bulma firmly cut through the budding protest. "You're coming shopping with me and Vegeta, and that's final!" Seeing that Goten looked ready to protest his task as well, she turned her glare to the black haired boy and pointed a finger at him. "As for you, Son Goten, I'm sure your father will think of something for you to do, and you can be sure that I'll talk to Goku when I get back to see if you helped him."
"But couldn't I go with you, Bulma?" Giving her his best Son Puppy Eyes (TM), Goten hoped that if he had to help out with the baby stuff, then maybe he could at least be with his best friend at the same time. "I could help watch the baby, too."
The thought of going shopping with both Goten and Trunks sent a shudder up the spine of the woman who had been brave enough to travel to Namek and later to come with the Z Warriors just so she could get a glimpse of the dreaded Frieza. She had once made the mistake of allowing both boys to accompany her and, needless to say, the outcome of that shopping trip had been bad enough that Bulma had sworn never to bring both boys shopping with her ever again. Not without tranquilizer darts, anyway. Heavy tranquilizer darts. "No, Goten. You're staying here with your father. Now, no more complaining. I'm not going to change my mind." So saying, Bulma took hold of her reluctant son's hand and guided him out of the gravity room, pushing the baby stroller with her other hand, leaving Goten to sigh in resignation as he made his way back into Capsule Corp. to find his father and help set up baby furniture.
~*~
A lot of this chapter was filler material, I know, but I needed to set up for the next chapter. This was also a fairly LONG chapter! I was expecting to get this completed a few days ago, but I couldn't cut it off until I got in all the events that needed to happen before the next chapter. Sorry if it's not really all that funny, but as I stated in the first chapter, I don't know exactly how funny this whole story will be. Amusing, yes, but I doubt I'll reach Frozenflower quality humor on a regular basis. *wry smile*
Yes, Bulma seems to be taking things rather well, but I have a good explanation for that. However, the explanation won't happen for another chapter or two, so please don't complain that she seems to be taking this incident too well.
Vegeta will react to what Goku did to him, he just didn't really remember it upon waking up. There were other things on his mind, after all. *wry smile*
As for Goten and Trunks not being able to go Super yet... *shrugs* No one really knows exactly when they first make that transformation, and they're only just barely seven and eight years old. Besides which, I felt that it would be more appropriate for this story if they couldn't become Super Saiyans. Yet. If that's not excuse enough for you, then I call on the mighty powers of Willing Suspension of Disbelief! *grins*
Something interesting I came across while writing this chapter: "Onesy" is, apparently, not a word. It doesn't appear in either my huge, unabridged dictionary OR my slang dictionary, despite the fact that I have heard so many men and women (mostly ones who have children *grins*) use it. It's a type of baby's clothing that's one piece with snaps in the crotch and sometimes on the arms and legs, depending on the type of sleeves and legs that the thing has. I thought it rather amusing that, even as commonly as this word is used, it isn't considered a word. *wry smile*
Last, but not least.... mailing list! After much deliberation, I decided I WILL have a mailing list for this story after all! So, if you want to be notified whenever I put up a chapter, you can do one of two things.
1) In a review, leave your e-mail address and STATE that you want to be on the mailing list. And, people, PLEASE don't just sign in and expect me to open your ff.net account to find your e-mail address on my own! Some of you don't even have your e-mail address available to the public, and it's a pain to do that on my ancient, slow computer!
OR
2) In an e-mail sent to brook_tamlin@yahoo.com give me your e-mail address (if different from the one you're sending from) and state which story you want to be on the mailing list of. I have more than one mailing list, so you need to be specific.
Well, that's all for now! Please review. ^_^