Title : And the winner is.

Author : Géraldine

Email : lazy.gege@ibelgique.com

Category : Humor

Characters : Sam and Hoynes

Rating : G

Summary : A poll puts Sam and Hoynes in an embarrassing position.

Disclaimer : Thankfully, they don't belong to me but to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, NBC, Warner Brothers, and I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. I'm not making money for this story, I just have too much free time on my hands. So I'm begging : don't sue.

Spoilers : None

Note : Yes, it's silly. Yes, the only point of it was to have Hoynes and Sam in the same room. Yes, the reason I wrote it was because I was bored. No, I don't have a life.

Thanks to Manuela for taking the time to beta read this.

AND THE WINNER IS .

Géraldine

**********************

Sam walked straight to his office, trying very hard not to pay attention to the stifled laughs and the glances shot his way by the staffers. He hated public life sometimes. Like today.

He stormed into his office without really paying attention to what he was doing. He was halfway to his desk when he noticed the banderole.

"YOU MADE US ALL PROUD, SAM"

He growled "Josh!" Who else but his friend could have been behind this?

A noise behind him made him turn back. Toby was in the doorway, looking highly entertained.

Sam sighed. He was never going to live that one down.

His boss was staring at him. "Nice picture in this magazine," he said.

"Toby - "

"No, seriously. Black suits you. When was it taken?"

"Toby, I really don't need that coming from you."

"Oh, but you don't seriously think you're going to get away with this. Seriously, Robin, celebrity is right there at your front door, you should enjoy it."

"Hey, Spanky!" CJ called as she entered the room. "How are you doing?"

"Oh God," Sam thought. He had the distinct feeling he was looking like a deer caught in a car's headlights, but he couldn't help it. The day was going to be hell. In fact, the whole week was going to be hell. Maybe even the next month. And he was already praying for a national emergency to happen.

Josh joined the fun. "Leo is waiting for us in his office," he said before adding in a barely suppressed giggle : "Sam, you OK? You look a little pale here."

Well of course he looked pale. The staff meeting was going to be awful. And knowing the President, he was probably going to come make fun of the situation too.

This was going to be long day indeed.

"I hate my life," Sam thought. "I really do."

*****

Six hours later, he had decided to hide in his office while the others were having their fun. Nobody seemed to understand why he was uncomfortable about the issue, but having all the women in the White House looking at him with fake lust and all the men pretending to be jealous was making him more than a little embarrassed.

He heard a commotion outside, but he'd closed the door and he wasn't about to open it again anytime soon.

A knock on the door made him wince. He just wanted to be alone in his misery, was that so hard to understand ?

"Come in," he said, resigned.

To his surprise, the person who entered wasn't yet another assistant trying to make him miserable.

"Mister Vice President," he said, jumping to his feet.

"Sit down, Sam. We're in your office. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, Sir."

"I wanted to." Hoynes had tried to keep a smile on his face, but he couldn't hold it any longer. He slumped on a chair, defeated. "God, this is awful."

"I know, Sir."

Sam looked again at the magazine lying on his desk. The magazine that published a series of polls each year. Sexiest actors, sexiest actresses, sexiest women in politics . sexiest men in politics. The latter being the cause of the bad day Sam and Hoynes were having.

The two men had been elected "sexiest man in politics" ex aequo. And the practical jokes and not-so-subtle allusions had begun.

"How are you holding up?" Hoynes asked.

"I hate my life," Sam stated.

"Me too. Everyone is laughing behind my back," Hoynes complained.

"They don't bother to be discreet about it with me, Sir. They just laugh. Hard. Especially Josh. Which is a little ironic since he was one of the ten nominated. And he has a fan club."

"Yes. Well, let's be honest for a second, I don't think either of us would have been nice to him if he had been elected."

Sam thought about it for a moment. He had to admit that the Vice President had a point. After all, he * did * tease Josh about his fan club. Still, his friend could be a little more compassionate about all this.

"I'm going to get myself drunk," he said to no one in particular. "Spectacularly drunk. So drunk I'll fall in a coma and when I'll wake up, the week will be over, or we'll have declared war on someone, or aliens will have invaded, and I won't have to deal with that."

"Sounds like a good plan," Hoynes said, almost regretfully.

"Yeah."

The two men sat in silence, savoring the privacy of the office. Sam had never really had a chance to get to know Hoynes, but he was finding a lot to share with him right now.

He heard his stomach growl. He had asked Bonnie to bring him something back from the mess, but she'd answered that stardom was starting to get to his head and he should go buy his sandwich himself. He hadn't dared to go out on his own, so he hadn't eaten.

There was a knock on the door and Sam sighed. His only potential ally was with him so it couldn't be good news. With an apologetic glance to Hoynes, he called : "Come in."

Congressman Russel marched into the office, saw who was with Sam and stopped where he was. "Mister Vice President," he said nervously.

"Hello, Congressman," Hoynes said, shaking his hand before turning to Sam. "Sam, I have to go."

"Yes, Sir. Have a good day."

That was his way to say "Be strong" without saying it and Hoynes understood.

"You too."

Hoynes gone, Russel eyed Sam quizzically. "So I .read the newspaper."

Sam suddenly decided he'd had it. He had endured the jokes of his colleagues, the sideway glances, the snickering, but he wasn't about to let a congressman mock him without saying something.

"Yes, they took nice pictures didn't they ?" he said politely. "Well, why don't we get to the point of the meeting. After all, I won't be here much longer. Since I've reached my goal - which was to be elected sexiest man in politics - I don't see why I should stay in Washington any longer. The weather isn't doing anything for my tan, and it could spoil my chances to become a Hollywood star. So, about the credits for the teachers."

The blank look on Russel's face was well worth his little outburst. While half his attention was directed to the problem at hand, he was planning a little payback for his fellow staffers.

Hunting time was over. Time to get revenge had come.

Sam smiled.

THE END