A/N: Ok sorry it's taken so long to get out. Been busy, sharing computer time with Caytin, blah blah blah. Plus, I have *a lot* of ideas for new fics running through my head. There's an interdimensional HP meets Chicago type thing called "All That Jazz", a Gryffs and Slyths come to a high school in America type insane thing that Caytin and I will be co-writing called "The Cat's Meow: A Musical", and a HP/LOTR crossover weird little plotty thing that I will be writing and is currently untitled. So, yeah. In this chapter there is some language, hints at sexual situations, and a song with some pretty strong language. So yeah. The theme song for this chapter is "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", by Cyndi Lauper. Oh and, yes, they are still Gender-Switched. And don't ask how they know what a Ken doll is. They just do. So there! *sticks tongue out* I have a very cute tongue… and cute feet… Okie dokie then…
Disclaimer: Not mine. *pout*
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, by Cyndi Lauper
I come home in the morning light
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh mother, dear
We're not the fortunate ones
And girls
They wanna have fu-un
Oh girls
Just wanna have fun
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh daddy, dear
You know you're still number one
But girls
They wanna have fu-un
Oh, girls, just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....
When the working day is done
Oh, girls
They wanna have fu-un
Oh, girls
Just wanna have fun....
Girls
They want
Wanna have fun
Girls
Wanna have
Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun
Oh, girls
They wanna have fu-un
Oh, girls
Just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....
When the working day is done
Oh, girls
They wanna have fu-un
Oh, girls
Just wanna have fun...
Chapter 10: Of Another Gender
Later that week Lilith and Rory were sitting by the lake, deep in discussion.
"Crotch. It's always been called a crotch. Why change it?" Rory said.
"Because *crouch* sounds so much better. And it's even funnier because it's the name of two dead idiot wizards. The name of the dead must live on!" Lilith argued.
"True… okay, we'll call it a crouch. It does have a nice ring to it…" Rory mused.
"Dooooy! Of course it does," Lilith replied, skipping a rock into the water.
Rory leaned back against the large oak behind her and suddenly burst into hysterical giggles.
"What?" Lilith asked, confused.
"All the girls… that were guys," Rory replied breathlessly. "They're VIRGINS!"
"Oh my gods! We can deflower virgins!" Lilith said excitedly.
"We are such perverts," Rory said.
"Yes. Okay here's the deal. We'll divide them up half in half. Well… all hot ones. We'll leave the ugly ones out," Lilith said.
"Yeah… except for Ron. I'm sure Draco has already popped that cherry," Rory replied.
"Okay, I get George and Tim Burr," Lilith said, conjuring some parchment and a self-inking quill, and proceeded to make a list.
"Yeah and I get Charlie. And definitely Neville," Rory replied.
Lilith copied all this down.
"Do you think we should share?" she asked.
"Uh… no…" Rory said, looking at her as if she had suddenly sprouted… boobs…
"I was wondering something," Rory said a few minutes later.
"What's that?" her sister replied as she stroked one of the gargantuous tentacles of the giant squid.
"Well… what if a hermaphrodite drank that potion?" she asked.
"Hmmm…" Lilith replied, appearing to be in deep thought.
"I mean… would they turn into a Ken doll, or something?" Rory said, completely serious.
"No," Lilith replied, having found the answer to world peace. (Yes world peace depends on this, because the author says so.) "They would turn into puppies."
"Puppies!" Rory squealed.
With that, the girls got up and went into the Great Hall for lunch, where they found Ron, George, and Charlie Weasley, and Tim Burr on top of the Gryffindor table singing Missy Elliott's "Work It."
CHORUS:
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's your fremma neppa vinette
It's your fremma neppa vinette
If you got a big *elephant noisy*, let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's your fremma neppa vinette
It's your fremma neppa vinette
I'd like to get to know ya, so I can show ya
Put the pussy on ya, like I told ya
Gimme all your numbers so I can phone ya
Your girl acting skank than call me ova
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or you won't cha
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips don't cha
See my ass and my lips don't cha
Lost a few pounds in my whips for ya
That the kinda beat that go ba ta ta
Ba ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
Sex me so good I say blah blah blah
Work it; I need a glass of wata
Boy oh boy it's good to know ya
(chorus)
If you're a fly gal, get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy lift it up, let's make a toasta
Let's get drunk, its gon bring us closa
Don't I look like a Halle Berry posta?
See ma Belvedere playin tricks on ya
Girlfriend wanna be like me neva
You won't find a bitch that's even betta
I'll make you hot as Las Vegas weatha
Listen up close while I take you backwards
sdrawkcab ti ekat ot ekil yssiM yaw eht hctaW
I'm not a prostitute but I can give you whatchya want
I love your braids and your mouth full of floss
Love the way my ass go ba-bonka bonk bonk
Keep your eyes on my ba-bonka bonk bonk
And think you can handle this ba-donka dunk dunk
Take my thong off and my ass go boom
Cut the lights on so you see what I can do
(chorus)
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
Wai tong tanya tongo tanya tang
Wai tong tanya tongo tanya tang
Girls, girls, get that cash
If its 9-5 or shakin your ass
Ain't no shame ladies, do yo thang
Just make sure you ahead of tha game
Just cuz I got a lotta fame supa
Prince couldn't get me change my name papa
Kunta Kinte, a slave again, no sir
Picture black sayin o yes a master
Picture Lil' Kim dating a pastor
Minute man big red can outlast ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out, you won't even matta
Why you act dumb like Big Dooog
You say you act dumb like uuugh, duh
As the drummer boy go pa rum pum pum pum
Give ya some some, some of this cinnabun
(Chorus)
To my fellas ooh
I like the way you work that
To my ladies, woo
You sure know how to work that.
Good god
Everyone clapped and gave them a standing ovation. Albus Dumbledore seemed to be particularly enjoying this.
The next couple of weeks continued on in this fashion. There was much deflowering of virgins and flamboyant sexuality, but it soon became monotonous.
Lilith remarked to her sister one day before Potions, "You know, this is getting old. To quote a certain sexy Irish Princess Greco-Roman Goddess with a body I would kill for and long beautiful red hair… 'There was much deflowering of virgins and flamboyant sexuality, but it soon became monotonous."
Rory looked at her with one raised eyebrow and said, "Huh?"
"Oh I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I was compelled to say that… Oh well," Lilith replied.
"Okaaay…" Rory said, looking scared.
"In other words," Lilith said as they took their seats in the between the Gryffindor and Slytherin sides, "This would be all good and fun if I were a lesbian. There's a hell of a lot of hot female Gryffs now! But I'm just not attracted to them… not even to George. I had a really hard (pun not intended) time completing my list."
"Yeah, I guess. But when I turned male, my mind turned male too," Rory said.
"Oh I so envy you!" Lilith replied jealously.
The Slytherin's prank had not turned out quite as they had intended. Most of the Gryffindors had enjoyed being the opposite sex for a while. It had finally lost all its luster, but it didn't matter because things would back to normal in a few days anyway.
Slowly, testosterone was creeping back into the "girls", and the "guy's" voices were getting higher.
They would have to find a new source of entertainment, and soon.
And now, the author has done all she could with this chapter and will proceed to the plottiness of Chapter Eleven. The author apologized for the major shortness of this chapter.
A/N: And now the reviewer cookies….
kippinator: LOL, I'm glad you like it. More insanity to come!
Dark Queen of Roses: Strange is my middle name. ^_^ But thanks!
Elfmoon87: LOL, thanks. ^_^ Yes, Lilith and Rory have very… obscure… personalities…