A/N: Yeah… Humor, big time. I'm hungry! The theme song is "The Wizard Song" by Linkin Park because I couldn't think of anything else.
Disclaimer: Recognize it, it's JKR's. Don't recognize it, it's mine.
The Wizard Song, by Linkin Park
Down on the fairy tale path, there is a wizard awaiting you
With aluminum fashion
And with panthers to boot
Send me your power through the lightning in your eyes
Wearing the magic hat, yeah, yeah, yeahChapter 18: Moldywart
Mundungus turned to Vicious and asked, incredulously, "Dragon Pixies, Vicious?"
Vicious hid her face and squeaked, "Yes…"
Lilith and Rory bounded over to their mother and sang out, "Come on Mummy! Change with us!"
Vicious looked at her daughters as if they were crazy and spoke to the group.
"Ever heard of Cornish Pixies? Yeah, they're Pixies of every breed that were caught by humans and mutilated. Sorry if I don't want that for my people or me.
"But Professor Snape," said George, confused. "All breeds of Pixies are now an endangered species. You can't be touched."
A light came on in Vicious' sapphire eyes as she exclaimed, (with glee, mind you) "Yippee!!!"
Within seconds her blonde hair was replaced with flame-colored curls and silver streaks. Her eyes turned silver, freckles appeared on her clear, pale skin, and a platinum circlet appeared about her head. Fangs snaked out her mouth and down her lips, and silver dragon wings sprang forth from her back. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the Queen of the Dragon Pixies did, in fact, stand before them.
"WHEEEEE DOOOO!!! I'M NEKKID!" yelled Vicious in her high, sing-songy Pixie voice.
"Nuh uh!"
"Mummy, you're not nakey! Can we get nakey, Mummy?"
Mundungus sighed, turned to the Snapes, and said, "Um, Pixies? Can we get this show on the road?"
"Aw yeeeaaah… Oh, Moldywart…" said Vicious, stepping forward, with an evil grin plastered on her face, her daughters following suit.
Voldemort curled up into a little ball on his throne, crying, "Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me… Please, I'll give you candy!"
Vicious looked thoughtful, before shaking her head from side to side and saying, "Nah… We're gonna poke you and then *take* your candy!"
The Death Eaters ran screaming from the room, only to be followed closely by two fox demons (formerly known as George and Charlie Weasley)
Mundungus looked around the room and asked, "Am I the *only* human in this little group?"
Lilith nodded and said, "Yes, Mundy… in fact, you're the only human in the entire Order."
"Right then," said Mundungus, before following after the Kitsunes, to fight Death Eaters.
The three Dragon Pixies ran forward, their index fingers pointed outward, and began poking the Dark Lord while screeching, "Pokey, pokey! Pokey, pokey!"
"MERCY! HAVE MERCY ON ME!"
Vicious looked at the wizard and angrily sang, "You were a big meaniehead to my puppy!"
Lilith and Rory added an extra "Yeah!" before launching into their own rendition of the Hokey Pokey.
"You put your finger in his ear; you put your finger in his nose…
And do the Hokey Pooookey! Do the Hokey Poooookey!"
"MERLIN! MAKE IT STOP!"
Rory sat on his knee and screamed, "Do the horsy! I want the horsy!"
Voldemort shakily nodded and tentatively sang, "Uh… Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony… Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!"
"Move over! It's my turn!"
"No it's not! It's my turn!"
"MY TURN!"
"MY TURN!"
"STOP!" screamed Voldemort. "I can't take this anymore!"
The Pixies turned to him, blew three loud, wet raspberries, and climbed into his lap, demanding the "Horsy".
The Dark Lord sighed and bounced his knees, singing the song again.
"Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony…
Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!"
"AGAIN!"
After the five hundred and sixty-third time of doing the "Horsy", Voldemort suddenly turned to dust.
The Pixies fell on the throne on top of one another and said, "Oh… he dead…"
"Let's get his candy!"
"Yeah!"
Vicious sniffled sadly and told her daughters, "He doesn't have any candy…"
The Pixies burst into tears at this revelation.
"What's all the commotion?"
Lilith and Rory's heads shot up at the sound of the new voice.
"DADDY!!!"
"Do you have any candy?"
A/N: Yeah, Pixies kind of have the mentality of three-year-olds. (Which is why they're so AWESOME!) Don't ask how Voldie knows an American Muggle song. He just does. I'm still hungry… Oh well, I'll give all the cookies to my lovely reviewers anyway…
hevensdevil: Your wish is my command…
Angelxd14: Hey Princess Anna! My Updates mailing list won't send to you anymore… *sniffle* It says you're an unknown user… Anyway, I figured you'd like the whole Pixies thing. That was like the purpose of the whole story… annoy Voldie to death… *hides head in shame* Love ya! ~Queen Alexa
Elfmoon87: Hehe… thanks. =^_^= The humor is pretty much gonna be a constant fixture until the end…
Dark Queen of Roses: Hehe yeah… what a way to die, eh? Being annoyed to death… Thanks for adding me to your faves!