Disclaimer: Kanashimi:...Considering how many Les Mis fics I've disclaimed by now, I'd think it'd be clear the Korin owns nothing! *goes into a corner to sulk*
The Things You Remember
I stand by the door looking out. The wind is blowing the trees about. It's a strong wind, and I haven't seen one like it in a while. The branches caught up move wildly, crazily, carried in it. Slowly I put my hand out to feel. It has a cooling touch, and it caresses my fingers.
He used to do that. I can almost see him in front of me, smiling at me, the wind playing with his golden hair, him taking my hand in his. I miss his touch. I miss everything about him.
He went to Paris. He wanted to be a student. I stayed behind...because I am a fool. I was afraid to leave home, to go places. Now I know what a mistake I made. I've been torn to pieces by having him away. And still, still, I've been afraid and not followed, the way I should. I'm afraid he'll hate me now. When he left, I started to die. I drank, and I didn't take care of myself. I can't be the boy he remembers any longer, and I'm afraid to face him and find out. I can still pretend like this.
But the aching inside me is getting so much stronger, every day, worse. Even now I can see him, anywhere I look. Him being away hasn't made me forget him; it's made me remember everything about him in greater detail. Alcohol hasn't made me forget either...it's only made me despise myself, and fear finding him.
If he came home... Any day, he might come home. And then he'd see what I've done to myself, and he'd hate me surely. If only I could pull myself out of this pit. If only I could force myself to wake up, to stop pretending and seeing him in the wind, to cease drinking and trying to forget his beautiful memory. If only I could follow him where he's gone and beg him to forgive me and have him to love me again. No one else ever wanted me, but he did. He wouldn't want me now, like this.
I'm going to Paris.
No matter what he thinks, I want to be there with him, I want to be able to see him, really see him, and not my shadows and visions. Besides, if I am with him again, it can't be too hard to make myself the person he loved once more.
Owari ~ End
The Things You Remember
I stand by the door looking out. The wind is blowing the trees about. It's a strong wind, and I haven't seen one like it in a while. The branches caught up move wildly, crazily, carried in it. Slowly I put my hand out to feel. It has a cooling touch, and it caresses my fingers.
He used to do that. I can almost see him in front of me, smiling at me, the wind playing with his golden hair, him taking my hand in his. I miss his touch. I miss everything about him.
He went to Paris. He wanted to be a student. I stayed behind...because I am a fool. I was afraid to leave home, to go places. Now I know what a mistake I made. I've been torn to pieces by having him away. And still, still, I've been afraid and not followed, the way I should. I'm afraid he'll hate me now. When he left, I started to die. I drank, and I didn't take care of myself. I can't be the boy he remembers any longer, and I'm afraid to face him and find out. I can still pretend like this.
But the aching inside me is getting so much stronger, every day, worse. Even now I can see him, anywhere I look. Him being away hasn't made me forget him; it's made me remember everything about him in greater detail. Alcohol hasn't made me forget either...it's only made me despise myself, and fear finding him.
If he came home... Any day, he might come home. And then he'd see what I've done to myself, and he'd hate me surely. If only I could pull myself out of this pit. If only I could force myself to wake up, to stop pretending and seeing him in the wind, to cease drinking and trying to forget his beautiful memory. If only I could follow him where he's gone and beg him to forgive me and have him to love me again. No one else ever wanted me, but he did. He wouldn't want me now, like this.
I'm going to Paris.
No matter what he thinks, I want to be there with him, I want to be able to see him, really see him, and not my shadows and visions. Besides, if I am with him again, it can't be too hard to make myself the person he loved once more.
Owari ~ End