Sneezes and Sword Fights
By Joanna
*Thanks to Sami, whose review inspired this chapter.
Chapter Eight: Taking His Rest
Aragorn launched himself off his pillows with a speed and force that took even him by surprise. Legolas, however, was quite prepared for the Elessar that flew through the air towards him and stepped nimbly out of the way.
Aragorn, his target shifted too late to correct his aim, pitched into thin air and out of the bed.
Legolas rather enjoyed watching the King's bare legs fly above his head as he tumbled from the bed head first, flipping somewhere in midair, and finally coming to an abrupt halt on the flat of his back, with a satisfying smacking sound of skin against stone.
"Ow." Aragorn simply said and blinked up at the ceiling, leaving his arms flailed out to his sides, the posture he'd been in as he'd tried, unsuccessfully, to catch himself before hitting the floor.
In a moment, Legolas peered over him. "You have lovely legs, Estel. I had no idea, really."
Aragorn quickly reached down and jerked his nightdress back down past his knees. "I hade you."
"You did not have me. Not even close," Legolas disagreed.
"Nod had. Hade. Hade…despise."
"Oh, I see now. You hate me," Legolas said merrily. "Well done."
Aragorn continued to stare up at Legolas, wondering why the elf smiled so broadly and where his own fight had gone so suddenly. He should really put an end to the elf as soon as possible, or at least maim him, but as it were, he felt perfectly content to lay still there, the cold stone pressing against the back of his legs, his heated skull throbbing against it.
As he watched, Legolas' face began to waver, as if he looked at a reflection of the elf in a fountain rather than the elf himself. Cocking his head to the side, he saw colors swimming and hovering around Legolas' golden head, watched in amazement as they materialized into little bursts, like fireworks.
"Hmmm," he said, fascinated.
"How do you feel, Aragorn?" Legolas wondered knowingly.
And something in that tone returned Aragorn, for only a moment, to sobriety. "You haf poisoed me," he accused, but already his interest was wavering.
"Nay, poisoned is such a strong word. I have drugged you, yes. Don't worry. It will only help you sleep. It will not kill you, most likely."
"Did the healerd pud this in the medicid?"
Legolas smiled, bending in and out of focus, his face obscured by a large purple butterfly-like cloud that floated across it. Aragorn heard the elf's voice as if from some great distance. "He is far too loyal to you to put anything else in your medicine. You forget I know something of plants and trees. I found the root myself. Your gardens are quite adept to the needs of a healer, you know."
"You are nod a healerd!" Aragorn charged, eyelids lowering.
"Nay. But your recovery requires plenty of rest. You must rest more."
"Id thad whad the healerd said?" Aragorn wondered.
"It is what I say. If you do not sleep, I fear what I shall do to impede your recovery. Let us get you into bed, mellon nin. Your dreams should be sweet ones. I will wake you when it is time to take your medicine again. Or perhaps after you've already taken it."
Legolas reached down and struggled to lift Aragorn off the floor. Aragorn was little help in the matter, his limbs gone limp and heavy as a dead man's. By the time Legolas got him semi-on his feet and urged him the two steps toward the bed, Aragorn was almost snoring.
With a final shove, Legolas got Aragorn onto the mattress, though the King fell face down in the pillows. His breathing was muffled, if not stopped altogether, but still Aragorn did not move. With a great sigh of impatience, Legolas hurried to the other side of the bed, and crawled upon it, reaching over the still form and grabbing Aragorn's far shoulder.
He pulled a little, but Estel did not budge. He couldn't very well let the king suffocate into his own pillows, so with a determined set of his jaw, Legolas prepared to pull the dead weight over onto his back.
In his fear of having to tell Arwen he'd killed Aragorn, Legolas put too much strength into the effort and Aragorn rolled easier than he'd intended. Caught off balance, with all of his momentum coming back at him unspent, it was the elf's turn to tumble backwards off the bed and onto the floor.
"Ow." He murmured, much as Aragorn had, from the flat of his back and looked at the ceiling.
And from the bed, there came just the slightest sound, one that could have almost been a giggle that soon dissolved into snores.
***
Early the next day, Arwen paused outside the door to her and Aragorn's chambers.
Something seemed wrong. It was too quiet. Too peaceful. She could hear birds singing through the open window of the hallway, welcoming in the spring morning. No shouting, no insults, no threats. It was almost eerie.
Supposing she would find they'd finally killed one another since she had left them, black medicine smeared across both their faces, Arwen stepped into the room and raised her eyebrow in surprise.
The curtains were drawn open and light spilled into the room. Aragorn slept soundly in a rectangle of sunlight, a blissful smile upon his face. Legolas too, slept, perched in the windowsill.
She made not a sound, but went to her husband's side, and sat lightly down on the bed beside him, without even a twitch of blankets.
Unable to help herself, because he looked so dear at the moment, smiling in his sleep, his nose cherry red and his chapped lips parted a little, she reached forward and stroked his cheek.
His smile stretched those chapped lips and he gave a delightful little laugh in his sleep, a high-pitched "hee," which caused her, in turn, to laugh softly.
The slight sound awakened Legolas, who quickly shifted his gaze to Aragorn's bedside. He smiled when he saw Evenstar, tenderly stroking Aragorn's cheek.
And for a moment, he left her to her thoughts of her husband, suspecting they were the first kind ones she'd had towards him in days and days.
However, when he saw her expression turn solemn and inward, he felt obligated to intrude and lift her from whatever sorrowful thoughts she had descended into.
"Lady?" he inquired, as he left the windowsill and walked to the opposite side of Aragorn's bed from where she sat. "What troubles you?"
She did not look surprised that he had read her expression. With a sigh, she brushed Aragorn's hair back from his forehead. "I was thinking of how easily these mortals expire. A simple chill, a fall from a horse, an arrow gone astray, any of these things may so easily be the end them."
"Aragorn is strong, My Lady. Your children are strong. They are of the blood of Elendil."
"I know, Legolas. But not even that will keep them from their final fate."
She looked so troubled, and there was nothing Legolas could think of to offer her as comfort, for the thought also plagued and troubled him, and had since he had seen how easily men could fall at Helms Deep.
"It is the risk we take in loving them, Lady," Legolas murmured at last, "in loving him."
Arwen nodded silently, a bittersweet smile crossing her lips as Aragorn smiled and laughed softly again in his sleep.
"You have drugged him with Somneil root," she guessed.
"He used the word 'poisoned,'" Legolas admitted with a nod. "He has slept soundly now for almost twelve hours. Through the evening and night."
"No wonder he is smiling. Dear, foolish man," Arwen shook her head and sighed again, looking to Legolas.
She had attempted to be light, but Legolas could still read her thoughts in her eyes, knew she still considered not only Aragorn's ultimate fate, but her own.
Knowing that he saw this, she finally gave her thoughts to him. "Is it worth it, Legolas? Is it worth the pain?"
Legolas smiled gently at her, and a thousand years of wisdom fell from him in his next words.
"Love is always worth it, Arwen. It is worth any price. And you have always known it, even when the rest of us did not."
********
To be continued…
**A moment of seriousness here, from out of nowhere seemingly, but just to assure you I've somewhat held onto my sanity, because in the next chapter, I will push the limits of absurdity, even for this story, I think.
*** I didn't want to give it away before hand, but it was Sami who said it was about time for the elf to give the King a tranquilizer, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was absolutely right. It wasn't in the original plans, but I liked it so much, I hope you don't mind that I used it, Sami! It was good for an extra chapter!
Anyway, thanks once again! Here goes:
JEbb: Wow. Kellogs on the keyboard. A most interesting dilemma…I hope all is squared away and that you've learned your lesson. Which to me, would be, don't get up early enough to eat cereal!
Orion: my chanting friend! Hello! Thank you very, very, very, very, very, very much!
Mouse: "evil little vegemite mate." Quite possibly my most favorite thing I've ever been called. LOL. Each week my level of evil goes up. I'm so proud that you've noticed! Thanks for the wishes of luck. 19 written pages later, my final is over and I don't even care anymore.
LegyLuva: You know, if it works for you to be the "kig," I say go for it. Although Michelle Frodo has expressed her concerns about your habit. So you liked having Legolas hit the floor huh?
Dot: Ooh! Evil wench is good too! Mouse had better look out! As for your question of what is more important, I give you a resounding LOTR FICTION! Unfortunately, it doesn't pay as well as my stipend. And my poor dog has to eat. And of course Legolas had Aragorn all figured out!
Strider4Me: Well, I guess Legolas can't really HURT the king, however, if the King happens to hurt himself in the process, he's really innocent in the matter isn't he?
Arwen Undomiel: Love right back at you! Thanks so much! And I still put up a fight…not so much with cough syrup, which I was taking earlier this winter…hey that's some good stuff and I've never slept better in my life. Friends started telling me they were going to take it away after three days or so, but eyedrops, I put up a fight to rival Aragorn at the eye doctor! That was random information, huh?
Trinity C: Thanks for the luck wishes. After my presentation tomorrow morning…well I'll still have two huge papers due, but I'm trying to make myself feel better, so we'll say it's all downhill from there. Long live Arwen and feminine wisdom! Hugs back!
Dragon-of-the-North: You do have a point, it seems, about war "being upon" them. The cold speak is likely to continue and may even take on more accurate shades, as I finally, have come into my comeuppance and am sniffling and sneezing. For instance, earlier today, when I said "come here" to my friend, I learned it would actually be "cub ear." Ah, alas. If only I had contracted this two weeks ago…then again, it wouldn't have been finals week then, and I wouldn't have been forced to sit in a silent room and sniffle and sneeze while everyone attempts to write essays.
Jedi-Faramir: Well, I think that the argument can be made that this elf, at this moment, certainly deserves to claim "weariness." *You RUINS it precioussss, spoiling nasty laugh with tripsssses! Ah, and I was so proud of you last week. Maybe we get it down stationary, then progress to the moving evil laugh?
Sami: You totally inspired me with your idea….hope you don't mind, but thought you might not since you were kind enough to suggest it! I hadn't planned the tranquilizer, but it was just too good to pass up.
Semmerie: ROUND 8!!!! Both parties were allowed to retire to their corners for a few minutes, but the bell is about to ring again (cue Arwen and Eowyn in bikinis walking around the ring in high heels with large signs with "8" on them).
Mwpplover: So, I'm trying to keep them both alive, but it is, at this point, totally out of my hands. I can't control these two any longer!
Kaz: No, no, I refuse to lose my awe. I am now your biggest fan! YEAH! If you need a cheering section for finishing up your dissertation, I'm your girl. I'm so impressed! Just for you, I'm not going to kill them in the next chapter at least.
Estelcontar: well, be industrious. Start working on all the money in the world. Actually, I'll haggle. At this point, I'd sell my soul for $5 and a margarita. And oh, yes, let's assume the floor was dirty and the elf had a big old smudge on his face!
Urylia: Thanks so much! I usually update a little more quickly, but my real life is totally in the way. I should do better from here on out.
IMJinnie: Hey! So, have you figured out who else is in TTT yet? It isn't just Legolas, I told you! Anyway, although this wasn't the much anticipated "flame," thanks anyway!
EarthFaery/Tessa: LOL. I have more readers who should probably be hauled away than any other writer in this whole archive, I think. I fit right in. It's so nice! Well, I hope you have avoided being dragged off thus far!
Chiki45: Wow. Such a generous offer…sacrifice your little brother huh? I'm so touched. Then again, you might need to keep him around. I imagine they are good for something, but being an only child, I'm not sure what. I think I'm beyond the help of all the fire gods at this point anyway. Sigh.
tapetum lucidum: LOL. And who's side are you on? I'm not sure what I could to that would be worse than bludgeoning. I'll work on it! Hee. Maybe this'll give you some idea for medicating your kids? Then again, it might be a little illegal to tie then down and drug them, which is probably why it's a good thing I don't have kids yet.
Whitestar: I like your mental picture. I had more in mind, Legolas with a fist full of Aragorn's forelock, almost like he was holding up a severed head or something. Thanks for the good luck! Maybe it paid off. I'm sure y'all here about it in one form of ranting or another.
Lily of the Shadow: Yes, I could! Soon enough? Thanks!
Nilbrethiliel: Aww! You're so sweet. So much so that I hope you weren't hurt when you fell from your chair. I just hope no one was around to witness it, for your sake! And I like your style! That's my new motto: Let em suffer!
Laura: I laughed at YOUR description of Legolas as the WWI soldier. I just had a picture of him in the hat, and I don't know, I'm sleep deprived okay?
Mari: Well, Aragorn was fuddled by fever and medicine, so we'll just let him live in his little bubble that the trap could have worked! And yes…I have read so many stories with such wonderful subtle humor…and then there's mine. I think I'm the writer equivalent to Jim Carrey…and yet, I love Ace Ventura Pet Detective so unnaturally much, is it even surprising I continue to go round the bend?
Pie: I missed you! Bless your little sleep deprived heart. Though I am a little jealous that you've been gallivanting on holiday while I slave over research, but I'll forgive you as your new term has probably started by now. I'm sick too! I hope you feel better by now. I'm just starting to get my cold. That's good news that you've seen high marks for me. Since I read your prophecy, I just didn't even bother to fill out the test okay? (That's a lie, if you read earlier reviews, I wrote 19 pages in two hours and if that isn't enough I don't know what is!). The review did brighten my day very much. Grassy-ass. (how a southerner pronounces thank you in Spanish). Feel better!
Elessarfanatic: I don't know what was funnier. Your review or your email address! And no, I don't mind being called Jo. Or Joan. However, when my college roommate started calling me HoJo, I took exception. Which, of course, only encouraged her. As for the English teacher…it isn't the only one I've nearly killed. There was one in 9th grade who I think I nearly ended not with laughter, but with dangling modifiers and such. LORD. I cringe to think an English tutor read this, as I've been doing it without a beta and there are comma splices EVERYWHERE! LOL. Takes me back to the day! And yes, I deserved the yelling. I've completely destroyed all the nobility surrounding Aragorn huh? And yesss, we loves gollum preciousssssss! Definitely sexier than Aragorn or Legolas. Big blues eyes, balding, clammy skin…split personalities? What a catch!
Michelle Frodo: all my fault? I'm so insulted, after I've tried very hard to stop LegyLuva from walking around proclaiming herself royalty for weeks, but it didn't work and I've finally given up on her. I think she really thinks she's the "kig." Glad you are feeling better. Did you give me your cold when you left the review? And good luck on your exams! I've got the biggest one out of my way now!
***The weirdest thing happened last night. About 4 in the morning as I was going to bed after studying, I lay down and all of a sudden, my mattress starting shifting back and forth. I thought my dog was crawling around under my bed or something, but no…it was an EARTHQUAKE. I didn't realize this until I talked to my mom and dad, three states away, who said that everyone was talking about it, but as I've been secluded from the outside world and in Finals Land, and not watching the news, I had no idea. Apparently we had some little tremors too, which in my part of the country is unheard of. Never been in an earthquake before. It was less exciting than I thought it would be at the time, now I'm a little freaked out. So that's my story for the week. It doesn't take much to amuse me.
A fond farewell until the next chapter, in which there will be, as promised, much absurdity, and which should be coming soon, barring any more natural disasters or grave illnesses (wow, I don't exaggerate things at all do I?). Now, I'm just sitting here waiting for another earthquake. I'm such a wimp.