Interlude for….CAKE!
"N-Nikyia…" Tamahome stuttered. He was shaking terribly, the limp girl still in his arms.
"She's fine, Tamahome…see how she smiles?"
"CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT!!!!!!"
Nikyia and Tamahome shut up and looked towards the voice. In the doorway of the destroyed house stood TA Maxwell.
"What's all this about?" Tamahome's dad inquired, sitting up. He made a point of flicking some of the blood onto Tamahome, seeing he was already getting stained by Yuiren's (the girl was looking questioningly at the authoress as well. Why are they alive? BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO BE!!)
"Eew….daaaaad…."
"You'll seeee!" Nuriko grinned.
"You've planned something…."
"You know me well!"
With a snap, the blood was cleaned up from the kids and Tamahome's father.
"Just step out here and you'll see." TA turned out of the room and outside. Nikyia took a step forward, but Nuriko made a point of stopping her.
"You last, kiddo."
Nikyia was thoroughly confused as Tamahome and his family exited. Nuriko paused, then released Nikyia and dashed outside, slamming the door behind him. The redhead blinked.
"What in Dad's name is going on?!" she asked no one in particular before heading for the door. The door swung open slowly, and the poor girl was blown over by the force of the following announcement.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI-CHAN!!"
"B-b-birthday?" Nikyia stuttered.
"Yup!" TA stepped forward. "It's been exactly one year since you were officially introduced onto fanfiction.net!"
Everyone was there. The dead, the living, ….the immortal…the ones in Kutou, the ones who were supposed to be in Konan…Before she could look more, a small force slammed into her legs.
"Genrou!!" Nikyia croaked, scooping up the boy.
"Heya Big Sister!!"
"It took awhile to arrange everything with Taiitsukun. She wasn't keen on retrieving your family from the realm of the dead, but TA had a mallet to match hers."
TA proudly hugged her Baka-Mallet (a very LARGE mallet that makes people's IQ lower one point with each hit. ^^)
"So….." Nikyia got a childish look in her eye. "Presents?"
TA's mischievous glint matched Nikyia's.
"You're a mini-me, aren't ya?"
"Nope. I'm older."
TA sweatdropped.
"Only be a year or two…"
"I'm still older-"
"Don't contradict your creator!"
Nikyia went silent. Never argue with an authoress. TA cleared her throat.
"Well, Nikki-chan…we happen to have a nice lil something for ya…" TA pulled out a small box. "Took a LONG time to collect them all, but I think the readers will enjoy them."
Nikyia blinked.
"The READERS?"
TA nodded.
"Don't worry, dear. There's other stuff later," Suzaku whispered, putting an arm around her and failing to notice Chichiri's glare.
"So, what is this?" Nikyia carefully peeled open the gift TA had stuffed into her hands. Inside was….a video tape. Nikyia sighed contentedly. It WASN'T a stinkbomb after all! She had done that to a friend's character before. "Thanks, TA-sama."
"Ah, you've yet to watch it!"
Nikyia blinked, realizing the tape was unlabeled.
"Hells, what did you do, TA?"
TA grinned innocently as Nuriko and Chibi dragged in a Big Screen TV with stereo system to make sure everyone could see it, and, of course, the VCR.
"What did you get on tape, TA?" Nikyia asked again as the tape was swiped.
"Oh, just little things you've done in the creation of this fanfic we like to call…BLOOPERS!"
Nikyia's hand met her forehead as the entire crowd circled around the TV.
Just for a listing before we begin, the cast of this party consisted of the following: Young Genrou, "Mama", "Papa", Hotohori, Miaka, Yui, Tasuki, Kouji, Chichiri (of course, what would be an embarrassing movie without the boyfriend?!), Nuriko (duh), Chiriko, Mitsukake, Shouka (who was currently being cuddled by previously mentioned Seishi) (why is she alive? BECAUSE I WANT HER TO BE!), Tamahome, Jaden and Nakago, (much to Nikyia's GREAT distress even though the first was bound, gagged and sat upon by the bandits and a beanbag chair
Tasuki: *kick* Stop movin!!
Jaden: MmmpppH!!!
Back to the list. Suzaku, Seiryuu, Aerelia, Arafae, Amiboshi (who was being watched warily by Nakago), and, of course, Tamahome's family. (Anyone TA left out, I'm terribly sorry and I love you because you belong to Watase-sama! There was also a mysterious guy who will appear within the next few chapters. I have a lot of parenthesis in this, don't I? Well toooooooooough!)
"Play it!! Play it!!" the bandits chanted.
Nuriko could see Nikyia's body tense up as TA swiped the tape and headed for the VCR. Of course, everyone was anticipating seeing the silly mistakes accomplished during the making of the fanfic, so what else was the strong crossdresser to do but follow the bandits' lead and stuff HER under a beanbag chair? Tasuki gave a thumbs up as TA turned on the tape.
~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1, Akugi 1!
"Papa, when's KaiKai supposed to come back? I miss KaiKai…" Little Brother's voice said.
"Oh Genrou…KaiKai will be home soon…I hope…"
KaiKai bit her lip and pushed the door.
Nikyia: *blinkblink* Hey…*pull* This door is stuck!! TAAAA!!!!!!!
*from inside*
Hotohori: Wrong way, Nikyia!!!
Nikyia: *blinkblink* *push* ooooooooohhhhhh *sweatdrop* let's try that over again, huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1 Akugi 2!
"If I may have a word alone with you…" he asked, smiling at her. Nikyia tried to smile, tried not to stare. She'd never been so close to the young emperor before. He couldn't have been much older than her.
"Y…Yes your highness. Genrou, go with Mama and Papa. I'll be along soon."
Genrou stared at her for a second, then ran to catch up with Mama. When they were all gone, Nikyia turned back to the emperor.
"Your highness, you wished a word?"
Hotohori: Yeah! Just thought I'd say, DAMN you have a nice rack!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chichiri: HOTOHORI-SAMA!!
Hotohori: I was just joking….*shrinks away from the pissed off monk*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1 Akugi 3!
"I'll go no da. I was planning on setting out anyway no da."
"Oh, Chichiri, you are such a nice young man. If you wouldn't mind, it shouldn't take too long. I just need someone with her. She's too young and pretty to go alone."
Hotohori: I'll take her!! Fine ass lil lady *wink*
Chichiri: HOTOHORI-SAMA!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hotohori: Whaaaaaaat?? *scooting more away from Chichiri*
Chichiri: *gllllaaaaaare*
Nuriko: *glaring down at Nikyia who's trying to hide under the bean bag chair*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2! Akugi 1!
As Nikyia caught up with Miaka, they both noticed a table of food.
"What in Suzaku's name is that doing out here?"
"Food!"
Miaka ran at the table.
Nikyia: *crosses arms as Miaka vanishes* Nuh uh. I know a trick when I see one.
Taiitsukun's voice: Very well.
*Chichiri in a speedo appears*
Nikyia: O.O GIMME!! *lunge* *gets sucked into the mirror as well*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
*ALL eyes turn to Nikyia*
Nikyia: *hides further under beanbag chair*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2! Akugi 2!
Fake Miaka: I am Miaka, only the part of her you never see. Although that can be changed. Who's up for strip poker?!
Hotohori/Tamahome: ME!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2! Akugi 3!
"I…can't bear to look at anything that ugly…" he muttered. The old hag pulled out a mallet from somewhere and smacked the emperor with it.
"Is that how you treat a goddess?"
"Excuse me…ma'am…but are you…Tai…"
Tamahome: Kwan-do!
Nuriko: Dye!
Miaka: Wan chicken!
Hotohori: mai shu!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tasuki: Mai shu?
Hotohori: yeah…you know…Tai mai shu?
Tasuki: …….
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3! Akugi 1!
"Miaka, I'm…" she couldn't say back. Sitting across from Miaka and Nuriko was a familiar, blue peacock haired monk with a cat-like face.
"You're what Nikyia?" Miaka asked. At the old name, Chichiri turned towards the door and gaped
Nikyia: I'm…trying to remember why he looks familiar….I've seen him before…..*gasp* YOU WERE ON THE MILK CARTON!!
Chichiri: ano….no da….
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chichiri: Milk carton no da?
Nikyia: It said to contact TA Maxwell if located.
TA: *innocent grin*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3! Akugi 2!
"She died with Genrou…"
A tear lingered in Nikyia eye as she remembered everything about her little brother.
"You loved him a lot, I guess no da."
Nikyia: no…He got everything in Papa's will. I got squat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Papa: I swear, Nikyia, your mother left you her…..dresser….
Nikyia: *glares, poking head out from under bean bag chair*
Tasuki: TAI MAI SHU!! TYE MY SHOE! I GET IT!! BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
All: …………..
Tamahome: Slllooooowwwww
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3! Akugi 3!
Nikyia never knew what inspired her to what she did next, but she leaned up and kissed him, just for a second. The look on Chichiri's face was one of mixed surprise. Then he smiled down at her, leaned forward and kissed her back on the lips.
Tamahome: BWAHAHA!! *jumps out and ties the two together* HEY EVERYONE!!! THREE MON A POP TO SEE A MONK CAUGHT MAKING OUT!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikyia: Oh yeaaaahhh…
Chichiri: We still have to kill him for that no da….
Tamahome: Ehhe…..^^;;; *hides*
Yuiren: Big Brother, what's "making out"?
Tamahome:…….
Nikyia: ^__^ while YOU are busy with the little ones and the Talk, we'll finish watching this. *tosses Tamahome and the children inside the house*
*a few moments later*
Children: EEEEEEW!!!!!
Nikyia: Okay. Let's continue!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4! Akugi 1!
As she looked around, an area in the red light shimmered and from it appeared a young man, about age 30 Nikyia guessed. He smiled at her silently.
"Who…who are you?" she asked the man.
Suzaku: Nikyia…..I am your father!
Nikyia:……Do you have any clue how overdone that is?
Suzaku: hey! I'm the god, I can say whatever overused copyright phrases I want to.
Nikyia: the judge is more powerful than the god.
Suzaku: ….true…damn…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4! Akugi 2!
"Always, forever, fire loses to water. Elementally you are the underdog, Nikyia. You will always be the underdog." He kept his palm up and shot a blast of water out at her.
"Nikyia! Move!" Suzaku's voice echoed in her head like an order.
Nikyia: *turns to run* *BAM* shit…..door……*sliiiiiiiide* *thud* @_@
Jaden: *blinkblink*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaden: So THAT'S what happened… *evil grin*
Nikyia: Weren't you just gagged?
Jaden: *blink* oh yeaaaaaah….
Kouji: *kick* shaddap, chair.
Jaden: *grumbles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4! Akugi 3!
"As you command, Lord Jaden." The man narrowed his eyes. Nikyia felt limp all of a sudden, then she was flying through the air at high speed. Miaka stopped before she hit the wall as Nikyia slammed into it, then fell limply to the ground. Chichiri appeared, holding Miaka.
"Gee, that was a close one no da. She coulda died if she'd hit that wall no da."
Nikyia: And you're supposed to be MY boyfriend?!!?
Chichiri: Um….
Nikyia: I can see you groping her from here!!
Chichiri: O.o I am not!!
Nikyia: *sniff* I'm so betrayed!!
Nakago: It's alright. It's just PMS. Soi gets it all the time. You'll get used to it.
Chichiri: daaa…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chichiri: I remember that….
Nikyia: ehhe *sweatdrop* I love you now, Baby…
TA: Wait until she gets pregnant!
Nikyia: ….oh hells don't tell me you've got THAT planned!!
TA: *opens mouth* *pauses* you know, I just might not tell and keep you AND the readers in suspense.
Nikyia: ……why me?
Chichiri: Well there'd be only one way that were possible…*seductive grin*
Nikyia: True…*matching grin*
Nuriko: Hey hey heeeeyyy!! *waves Japanese fan* Let's keep this PG-13 please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5! Akugi 1!
"Up and healed for only five minutes and you're already horsing around?" Taiitsukun scolded them. Miaka screeched and tugged the sheets towards her. Tamahome fell out of the bed, naked as a jaybird.
Nikyia: Woooo, damn, Miaka!! You got lucky!!
Miaka: *staring over side of bed at Tamahome* *whistles* Hell yeah…night time fuuuuuun ^__^
Nikyia: invite me some time…
Chichiri: Nikyia….Miaka……ano……..da…..*crosses arms* I'm twice what he's got.
Nikyia/Miaka: O.o
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chichiri: *blushes*
Tamahome: I doubt that!! I'm better than anyone!
Miaka: I'll agree…
Nikyia: Miaka!! O.O The priestess must be a virgin!!
Miaka:…..shit
All Suzaku seishi: O.O
Miaka: KIDDING!!
Nakago: …….well damn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5! Akugi 2!
The four Nyan-Nyans went running out of the room to obey. Two of them ran right by Nikyia, sending her spinning again. Like before, Chichiri caught her.
"I think I'm a magnet for those things…" she muttered, getting back to her feet.
Chichiri: Let's test that theory! *picks up Nikyia and throws her into the hall* *pulls her back in a moment later, Nyan-Nyans swarming over her* Well whaddaya know no da!
Nikyia: *muffled by a Nyan-Nyan on her face* if we were married, I'd call for a divorce about now…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5! Akugi 3!
"Now that's the girl I met two years ago no da. And Tamahome?"
"What?"
"Let go no da."
Tamahome: but…Chichiri…have I told you how incredibly sexy you are? I mean, better than Miaka! She does have a better bust line, but really, I can overlook that! I've always wanted to know what a monk was like if you know what I mean.
Chichiri: …….mommy no da……..*traumatized*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikyia: oh…oh, you have another death wish, don't you Tamahome!
Tamahome: *from inside* What'd I do now-ooooohhhh
Miaka: *wail* TAMAHOMEEE!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 6! Akugi 1!
"I guess I can't argue with my father, can I?" she held out her arm for the bird. "What may I call you then?" He hopped on.
You, child, may call me Arafae.
Arafae: Or if you don't like that I answer to Hubert.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nakago: ………Hubert?
Arafae: Lay off. My parent's weren't very creative.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 6! Akugi 2!
Nikyia skid into the room. Miaka, Tamahome and Hotohori were there already. Arafae flew in seconds after and began circling a place on the ceiling.
"What's that bird doing?" Miaka asked.
Arafae: Scrr! Flight 72 bound for Hollywood, you are cleared for landing. Scrrr-*BAM* Ow…invisible person. *THUD*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chiriko: I think that determines who really has the higher IQ.
Arafae: I was DRUNK!
Nikyia: Suuuuurrrreeeee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 6! Akugi 3!
"Why you little…" he took a step towards Nikyia, but she was quick. She raised the bow and readied another arrow.
"I'd recommend you leave, now, or you'll be feeling another arrow in your flesh."
Seiryuu hesitated.
Seiryuu: Fine! *sniff* I know when I'm not wanted! I'll leave, and I'm never coming back!! *turns*
*TWANG*
Seiryuu: GYAH!! *has an arrow in his butt*
Nikyia: *innocent whistle*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suzaku seishi: *cheer, applaude*
Nakago and Jaden: *grumble as Seiryuu blushes*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TA stood and turned off the video. The group blinked.
"Hey, we were only 1/3rd of the way done with that!!"
"I know," TA grinned. "Nikyia oughta take a look at her other presents."
There was a sigh of relief from the crowd. Truthfully, not many others wanted to see what the authoress had caught on video. And so, the wrapped gifts were gathered. After a weapon polishing kit from her parental units (both sets) a bandanna from Mitsukake and Shouka, a scroll from Chiriko, a necklace from Genrou, and a dress from Nuriko and Hotohori (which Nikyia made a mental note to hide deep in her closet,) Tasuki and Kouji stood from their places over their beanbag chair and Jaden. Both lifted the tied up god from the ground as Seiryuu watched helplessly restrained by TA.
"Well, Nik, cuz it's yer birthday n all, gotcha the best thing we could think of," Kouji began.
"One good free kick in the spot'a yer choice!"
Jaden started howling under his gag as Nikyia grinned evilly, cracking her fingers.
"Best present anyone could give…"
As the girls cheered, every single male member of the party turned their head until the high pitched squeal had passed.
Happy Birthday, Daughter of Suzaku!
(This really just shows how lazy I am….)