Big Namekian Ballz - Thanks for the reviews!
I do NOT own that horrible song "Ironic" or that long ass movie "Titanic." Or DBZ.
And I'll say this now, I got no beef with Canadian's.
Hate Triangle
Well, Namek, sex is...
Gohan was the first to open his eyes. He saw Bulma lying next to him on the big pink cushion. They were in a small white room and by the door there was a speaker and two things that looked like gas masks. He mentally took note of the size of the door. It was only a few feet taller than him. He shook Bulma lightly.
Bulma giggled "Oh no, Vegeta. Not again..." She grabbed Gohan into an embrace and puckered up.
Gohan's eyes popped out of his head as she was closing in for the kiss "AUGH!!!"
Bulma's eyes shot open "AUGH!!!" She shoved him away.
"I'm sorry Gohan, I thought you were Vegeta."
Gohan was shaking uncontrollably "Then why did you try to k-k- kiss me, Bulma?"
"Uh...did I say Vegeta? I meant to say Yamcha." She laughed nervously.
"Ewww...you kiss Yamcha? You could get cooties!"
Bulma sighed "Just wait for about ten years and you'll understand, Gohan."
Just then they heard the speaker turn on. "Ding. Put on the masks."
Bulma turned red with rage and started yelling at the speakers "I do NOT have to listen to you! My father is the owner of Capsule Corp.! NOBODY tells ME what to do!"
"Just shut the fuck up and put on the masks or the fumes beyond these doors will kill your spoiled little rich girl ass." The speaker replied.
Bulma rushed to get a mask. "Fine! But I demand to know what I'm doing here afterwards!" Gohan did the same.
Just as they finished putting on their masks, the little door opened revealing a startling sight.
Gohan looked down at the alien. It was shorter than Gohan, it had no hair, six little dots on it's forehead, and...no nose?
"Greetings. I am Putt-Putt, a Fartling. We do not come in peace..."
Bulma looked down from picking at her nails "Oh. I'm sorry. Where you saying something?" She blinked "Hey, you remind me of some one. I just can't put my finger on it..."
"Well, as I was saying...we are an extremely powerful race; the Fartlings..." he noticed Bulma and Gohan playing a game of chess, not listening. He sighed "Why is it that all aliens don't pay attention to our race? And why do they forget about us trying to take over the universe?" He farted to get their attention.
"What the f-?" Bulma looked at Putter. "UH! Even with these masks on, that fart fucking reeks! No wonder your species don't have a nose! If you guys had a nose then you would all destroy yourselves with your own smell! Kami! What kind of shit did you eat?!"
"Don't you wanna know why you are here!?"
"Yeah, Shorty! Tell us why we are here!" She stood up and put her hands on her hips.
"Then you better listen this time!"
Bulma and Gohan sat down on the pink thing and listened while drinking coffee so they wouldn't fall asleep.
* * * * *
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE WITH YOU GUYS!!!" Chi-Chi was going crazy in the room. She couldn't move and found it hard to breath.
"Humph. Doesn't Harpy ever get tired of yelling?" Vegeta sat in the living room watching T.V. with Piccolo. "She's ruining the movie!"
"Obviously not. She's been in there for hours and she hasn't stopped screaming. My ears are really starting to hurt." Piccolo ,answered keeping his attention on the T.V.
"Jack...JACK!" Rose shook Jack's stiff hand, but he wouldn't wake up...
Vegeta's bottom lip started to quiver, but he was determined to look tough in front of Piccolo. Piccolo sniffed and took his cape to dry his eyes. He looked over to Vegeta and offered him a section of his cape. Vegeta roughly grabbed the cape and buried his face into it's softness, balling his eyes out. Piccolo rubbed his back in understanding.
Vegeta realized that he was showing weakness and let go of the cape and quickly shoved him away. "Damn Namek! *sniff* I don't need your comfort or pity! I just got something in my eye..." He rubbed his eyes with his fists and they both turned their attention back to the T.V.
Rose pried his frozen hands off the floating door and watched him sink to his watery grave. "I'll never let go, Jack...I'll nev-"
"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! WHEN MY GOKU GETS BACK, I'M GONNA SICK HIM ON YOU TWO!!!"
"FUCK!!! She ruined the best part!...I mean...I'm going to go train in that little training room." Vegeta got up and headed toward the built in G.R.
"Fine. Since I won't get any meditating done, then I guess I'll start digging her out." Piccolo stood up and walked to the door made of books and studying material.
"Don't help that Bitch!" Vegeta yelled at Piccolo.
Piccolo stuffed the ends of his cape into his ears and started pulling out books "Your ears aren't as sensitive as mine.."
Vegeta crouched into a fighting stance "She'll get out of there over my lifeless body." Piccolo took a fighting stance also ready to fight.
"FINE!" Chi-Chi screeched. "IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT OF HERE THEN I'M GONNA START SINGING!!!...IT'S LIKE RAI-I-AIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY...!!!"
Vegeta and Piccolo cringed. "Fine. Get the Harpy out. Anything besides HER singing THAT song, Ironic by that damn Canadian."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I am digging you out, now!" Piccolo started grunting as he was stacking Gohan's books neatly in the living room. He found a video camera and set it down next to him. 'I hate these things, but it may come in handy.'
Vegeta humphed and turned toward the G.R. He took one step and fell flat on his face. "AUGH!!!" Vegeta rolled on the floor screaming and holding his ankle that was twisted so his toes were pointing behind him.
Piccolo saw it happen and was trying hard not to laugh. "You shouldn't have made that big dent in the floor with your head." He snickered.
Vegeta stopped screaming and looked at Piccolo for a moment, then shot a small ki blast at him. "I'm fine! I can handle a slightly broken ankle. I AM the Price of Saiyans." With that said, he stuck his nose in the air and stood up.
Piccolo grabbed the video camera and hurried to turn it on. He snickered again as he thought 'I can't miss him try to walk on it.' He turned it on and started taping Vegeta.
Vegeta tried to walk on his broken ankle with a strait face, then on his first step, there was a nasty 'SNAP!' Vegeta crumbled back on to the floor screaming again. His foot was folded against his leg, bone was sticking out, and his toes were still pointing behind him.
"Now THAT is the most broken ankle I've ever seen." Piccolo said into the microphone with wide eyes. He was too disgusted to laugh.
Vegeta was laying on the ground, heartbroken. "I can't believe I felt and twisted my ankle. I am the Prince of Saiyans! The legendary Super Saiyan! Taken down by a mere dent in the floor. A dent that I created! Then I make it all worse by trying to walk on it!" Vegeta growled at himself and made his hands into fists "Now I'll never beat Kakarot. I'm a failure. I can't even walk anymore!!!" Vegeta lay there in defeat.
Piccolo stopped recording "Damn Vegeta, your way too hard on yourself sometimes. Just float to the sofa and we'll tend to your ankle later." He sat the camera down and kept on pulling out more books from the room.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, NAMEK!!!" Vegeta humphed and floated to the sofa and turned on the T.V., leaving a trail of blood behind him.
Piccolo just rolled his eyes at Vegeta's mood swings. 'I wonder why Chi-Chi is so quiet? Maybe she finally passed out form the lack of oxygen. Oh well, better enjoy it while I can.'
* * * * *
Bulma and Gohan just stared at Putt-Putt in disbelief.
"So... what you are saying is that your race, the Fartlings, took me, Gohan and my pink thing millions of light years away from our planet to make a mask and to design something else?" Bulma asked.
"Yes. That is correct. But it's a VERY special mask and a VERY special project to design. Lord Fart needs a special mask so he will be able to stand his own stench. He is too powerful for his own good. And the other project is for our own project. If you co-operate then we may spare your planet." Putt-Putt proudly explained.
Gohan looked at Bulma with those puppy dog eyes "Can I blow him to smithereens now, Bulma?"
"I don't think your mom would be too happy with me if I let you blow up aliens, but what Mom don't know won't hurt her, will it?" She winked at Gohan.
Gohan smiled real big and blasted Putt-Putt. He giggled evilly.
Bulma watched Gohan and the evil glint in his eyes and thought 'Gosh. When are you coming home, Goku? Gohan really needs a male role model other than Vegeta.'
As soon as Putt-Putt was killed, a thick greenish-brown cloud of stank-ass smoke emerged from where his body was. It filled the room, making Gohan and Bulma pass out again.
* * * * *
Back on earth...hours after take off...
Yamcha came out of Mandi's house in a good mood, but still pondered which Mandy called when Vegeta answered the phone. 'Well, it wasn't THAT Mandi that called me. Hm...maybe he said Candy...' after thinking for a while he snapped his fingers as he remembered "A-HA! It was little Mandy! I remember picking her up from her junior high school and telling her that I'd sneak into her room last night!" He thought some more "Damn, I hate going over to her house. Her over-protective father is a professional hunter that can find a needle in a haystack in two seconds. Not to mention he has a good shot and a expert with knives.' He gulped and started heading toward her house "I gotta be careful sneaking in."
* * * * *
Vegeta finally finished flipping through the channels and found something interesting on the dirty human station. He smirked as he thought about Bulma.
Piccolo finally found Chi-Chi. Just as he suspected, she was out from the lack of oxygen. She was still half way hanging out of the area that he cleared away. He snorted and grabbed Chi-Chi's by her clothing and yanked, ignoring the ripping sound of cloth. He pulled her out and dropped her on the floor then went to a chair and sat down to watch T.V.
That annoying tune started to play again. Vegeta picked up the phone "What." Piccolo listened with his Namek ears.
"Yam...this is Mandy again" the girl who said that was obviously crying. "I thought you loved me... *sniff*...but this whole time you were playin' me, weren't you? First you stood me up last night and then you told me hours ago that you would come by in two minutes." She started crying harder "I know that I'm only 12 and you are old enough to be my father, but I still love you..."
Vegeta thought about all she had said and was disgusted with Yamcha, but the fact that he was a big loser and that this would bring some good blackmail was too much for Vegeta's evil mind to handle "BWAHAHAHAHA...!!!"
"How dare you laugh at me, you jerk!" She was crying even more now "And I'm gonna show every one that picture of you in that pink tutu!" Then she hung up.
Vegeta and Piccolo busted up laughing after she hung up. Then they started watching the T.V. again. Chi-Chi was still passed out on the floor, the top half of her body was exposed.
* * * * *
Yamcha looked in the window to see Mandy crying on her bed. He smiled to himself, thinking that he was about to get some from the young lady. He tapped the glass.
Mandy looked up and shot him a dirty look. She got up from her bed and stomped to the window and slammed it open on his fingers. "You got alot of nerve coming here after laughing at me on the phone like that!"
Yamcha's eyes widened and he stopped shaking his hands "Candy, it wasn't me! A short, evil, and powerful alien with big, spiky hair stole my phone and took it into outer space with him!"
Mandy glared at him "My name is Mandy! Not Candy! And I know I'm young, but I'm not stupid!"
"But, Mindy! It's the truth!"
With that said, Mandy took a rather large intake of air "DADDY!!!!! THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY ROOM!!! HELP!!!"
Daddy woke up from his nap and as fast as any Z-warrior, he grabbed his rifle and extra ammo and was up in his daughter's room aiming out the window at Yamcha's retreating body. Daddy took three shot and laughed maniacally "Hahaha! I'll teach you to mess with my daughter!" Then he jumped out the window and started running after Yamcha.
"GET HIM DADDY!!!" Mandy was already feeling much better. She grabbed the picture of Yamcha and went to go make plenty of copies.
* * * * *
Piccolo stared at the T.V. with his antennas standing erect and a surprised looked on his face as he watched the porno that Vegeta was watching. Vegeta tnoticedhis and smirked "What's wrong, Namek?" He asked in a mocking tone.
Piccolo took no notice in Vegeta's tone "W-what are those humans doing, Vegeta?"
Vegeta snickered "They are doing IT, Namek." He snickered again behind his hand. "Why? Didn't anyone ever explain to the Asexual Namek how sex and reproduction works?"
Piccolo thought about it and remembered something...
Flashback:
"Goku?"
"Yeah, Piccolo?"
"What is this...sex that I always hear humans talk about?"
"Well, Piccolo, it's how humans have babies."
"You mean humans don't hatch from an egg that is barfed up from their father?...Like me?"
"Nope! Gohan came out from a little hole between Chi-Chi's legs." Goku added with a big cheesy grin on his face.
"But, what is sex?"
"Well, sex is where two people get married and then the wife gives her husband some funny tasting water and the husband starts to feel funny and forgets what happens during the night. Then the next morning, the husband wakes up with a bad headache, feeling sick, and it burns him to go pee. And the wife is in a really good mood and next thing you know, the wife is pregnant! That's how Gohan was made!"
Piccolo raised an antenna thinking 'Maybe I asked the wrong person. I should ask Tien or Yamcha or Krillen."
End flashback.
"No. No one had ever told me what sex is or how human reproduction works."
"Then I shall enlighten you..."
Piccolo scooted closer to Vegeta, but scooted and inch or two back after Vegeta growled at him for getting too close to his broken and bleeding ankle.
"Well, Namek, sex is..."
Big Namekian Ballz - Again, I got no beef with Canadians
So what will happen with Bulma and Gohan? Why did that alien look so familiar to Bulma? Does anyone care what happens to Yamcha? What will Chi-Chi do when she wakes up half naked and clothes torn? What will Vegeta tell Piccolo? What's up with the pink thing? What about Vegeta's ankle? Is anyone reading this?
Next chapter...Chi-Chi wakes up. Bulma and Gohan find out exactly what else they have to make other than a mask. Vegeta's ankle gets the best of him. Piccolo studies.
Vegeta is territorial and some professional kidnappers want to take Bulma for ransom. Will Vegeta let her be taken or will he blast the intruders? A humorous B/V get together. Rated PG-13. Check out my other fic "Trespassing!"
I do NOT own that horrible song "Ironic" or that long ass movie "Titanic." Or DBZ.
And I'll say this now, I got no beef with Canadian's.
Hate Triangle
Well, Namek, sex is...
Gohan was the first to open his eyes. He saw Bulma lying next to him on the big pink cushion. They were in a small white room and by the door there was a speaker and two things that looked like gas masks. He mentally took note of the size of the door. It was only a few feet taller than him. He shook Bulma lightly.
Bulma giggled "Oh no, Vegeta. Not again..." She grabbed Gohan into an embrace and puckered up.
Gohan's eyes popped out of his head as she was closing in for the kiss "AUGH!!!"
Bulma's eyes shot open "AUGH!!!" She shoved him away.
"I'm sorry Gohan, I thought you were Vegeta."
Gohan was shaking uncontrollably "Then why did you try to k-k- kiss me, Bulma?"
"Uh...did I say Vegeta? I meant to say Yamcha." She laughed nervously.
"Ewww...you kiss Yamcha? You could get cooties!"
Bulma sighed "Just wait for about ten years and you'll understand, Gohan."
Just then they heard the speaker turn on. "Ding. Put on the masks."
Bulma turned red with rage and started yelling at the speakers "I do NOT have to listen to you! My father is the owner of Capsule Corp.! NOBODY tells ME what to do!"
"Just shut the fuck up and put on the masks or the fumes beyond these doors will kill your spoiled little rich girl ass." The speaker replied.
Bulma rushed to get a mask. "Fine! But I demand to know what I'm doing here afterwards!" Gohan did the same.
Just as they finished putting on their masks, the little door opened revealing a startling sight.
Gohan looked down at the alien. It was shorter than Gohan, it had no hair, six little dots on it's forehead, and...no nose?
"Greetings. I am Putt-Putt, a Fartling. We do not come in peace..."
Bulma looked down from picking at her nails "Oh. I'm sorry. Where you saying something?" She blinked "Hey, you remind me of some one. I just can't put my finger on it..."
"Well, as I was saying...we are an extremely powerful race; the Fartlings..." he noticed Bulma and Gohan playing a game of chess, not listening. He sighed "Why is it that all aliens don't pay attention to our race? And why do they forget about us trying to take over the universe?" He farted to get their attention.
"What the f-?" Bulma looked at Putter. "UH! Even with these masks on, that fart fucking reeks! No wonder your species don't have a nose! If you guys had a nose then you would all destroy yourselves with your own smell! Kami! What kind of shit did you eat?!"
"Don't you wanna know why you are here!?"
"Yeah, Shorty! Tell us why we are here!" She stood up and put her hands on her hips.
"Then you better listen this time!"
Bulma and Gohan sat down on the pink thing and listened while drinking coffee so they wouldn't fall asleep.
* * * * *
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE WITH YOU GUYS!!!" Chi-Chi was going crazy in the room. She couldn't move and found it hard to breath.
"Humph. Doesn't Harpy ever get tired of yelling?" Vegeta sat in the living room watching T.V. with Piccolo. "She's ruining the movie!"
"Obviously not. She's been in there for hours and she hasn't stopped screaming. My ears are really starting to hurt." Piccolo ,answered keeping his attention on the T.V.
"Jack...JACK!" Rose shook Jack's stiff hand, but he wouldn't wake up...
Vegeta's bottom lip started to quiver, but he was determined to look tough in front of Piccolo. Piccolo sniffed and took his cape to dry his eyes. He looked over to Vegeta and offered him a section of his cape. Vegeta roughly grabbed the cape and buried his face into it's softness, balling his eyes out. Piccolo rubbed his back in understanding.
Vegeta realized that he was showing weakness and let go of the cape and quickly shoved him away. "Damn Namek! *sniff* I don't need your comfort or pity! I just got something in my eye..." He rubbed his eyes with his fists and they both turned their attention back to the T.V.
Rose pried his frozen hands off the floating door and watched him sink to his watery grave. "I'll never let go, Jack...I'll nev-"
"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! WHEN MY GOKU GETS BACK, I'M GONNA SICK HIM ON YOU TWO!!!"
"FUCK!!! She ruined the best part!...I mean...I'm going to go train in that little training room." Vegeta got up and headed toward the built in G.R.
"Fine. Since I won't get any meditating done, then I guess I'll start digging her out." Piccolo stood up and walked to the door made of books and studying material.
"Don't help that Bitch!" Vegeta yelled at Piccolo.
Piccolo stuffed the ends of his cape into his ears and started pulling out books "Your ears aren't as sensitive as mine.."
Vegeta crouched into a fighting stance "She'll get out of there over my lifeless body." Piccolo took a fighting stance also ready to fight.
"FINE!" Chi-Chi screeched. "IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT OF HERE THEN I'M GONNA START SINGING!!!...IT'S LIKE RAI-I-AIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY...!!!"
Vegeta and Piccolo cringed. "Fine. Get the Harpy out. Anything besides HER singing THAT song, Ironic by that damn Canadian."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I am digging you out, now!" Piccolo started grunting as he was stacking Gohan's books neatly in the living room. He found a video camera and set it down next to him. 'I hate these things, but it may come in handy.'
Vegeta humphed and turned toward the G.R. He took one step and fell flat on his face. "AUGH!!!" Vegeta rolled on the floor screaming and holding his ankle that was twisted so his toes were pointing behind him.
Piccolo saw it happen and was trying hard not to laugh. "You shouldn't have made that big dent in the floor with your head." He snickered.
Vegeta stopped screaming and looked at Piccolo for a moment, then shot a small ki blast at him. "I'm fine! I can handle a slightly broken ankle. I AM the Price of Saiyans." With that said, he stuck his nose in the air and stood up.
Piccolo grabbed the video camera and hurried to turn it on. He snickered again as he thought 'I can't miss him try to walk on it.' He turned it on and started taping Vegeta.
Vegeta tried to walk on his broken ankle with a strait face, then on his first step, there was a nasty 'SNAP!' Vegeta crumbled back on to the floor screaming again. His foot was folded against his leg, bone was sticking out, and his toes were still pointing behind him.
"Now THAT is the most broken ankle I've ever seen." Piccolo said into the microphone with wide eyes. He was too disgusted to laugh.
Vegeta was laying on the ground, heartbroken. "I can't believe I felt and twisted my ankle. I am the Prince of Saiyans! The legendary Super Saiyan! Taken down by a mere dent in the floor. A dent that I created! Then I make it all worse by trying to walk on it!" Vegeta growled at himself and made his hands into fists "Now I'll never beat Kakarot. I'm a failure. I can't even walk anymore!!!" Vegeta lay there in defeat.
Piccolo stopped recording "Damn Vegeta, your way too hard on yourself sometimes. Just float to the sofa and we'll tend to your ankle later." He sat the camera down and kept on pulling out more books from the room.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, NAMEK!!!" Vegeta humphed and floated to the sofa and turned on the T.V., leaving a trail of blood behind him.
Piccolo just rolled his eyes at Vegeta's mood swings. 'I wonder why Chi-Chi is so quiet? Maybe she finally passed out form the lack of oxygen. Oh well, better enjoy it while I can.'
* * * * *
Bulma and Gohan just stared at Putt-Putt in disbelief.
"So... what you are saying is that your race, the Fartlings, took me, Gohan and my pink thing millions of light years away from our planet to make a mask and to design something else?" Bulma asked.
"Yes. That is correct. But it's a VERY special mask and a VERY special project to design. Lord Fart needs a special mask so he will be able to stand his own stench. He is too powerful for his own good. And the other project is for our own project. If you co-operate then we may spare your planet." Putt-Putt proudly explained.
Gohan looked at Bulma with those puppy dog eyes "Can I blow him to smithereens now, Bulma?"
"I don't think your mom would be too happy with me if I let you blow up aliens, but what Mom don't know won't hurt her, will it?" She winked at Gohan.
Gohan smiled real big and blasted Putt-Putt. He giggled evilly.
Bulma watched Gohan and the evil glint in his eyes and thought 'Gosh. When are you coming home, Goku? Gohan really needs a male role model other than Vegeta.'
As soon as Putt-Putt was killed, a thick greenish-brown cloud of stank-ass smoke emerged from where his body was. It filled the room, making Gohan and Bulma pass out again.
* * * * *
Back on earth...hours after take off...
Yamcha came out of Mandi's house in a good mood, but still pondered which Mandy called when Vegeta answered the phone. 'Well, it wasn't THAT Mandi that called me. Hm...maybe he said Candy...' after thinking for a while he snapped his fingers as he remembered "A-HA! It was little Mandy! I remember picking her up from her junior high school and telling her that I'd sneak into her room last night!" He thought some more "Damn, I hate going over to her house. Her over-protective father is a professional hunter that can find a needle in a haystack in two seconds. Not to mention he has a good shot and a expert with knives.' He gulped and started heading toward her house "I gotta be careful sneaking in."
* * * * *
Vegeta finally finished flipping through the channels and found something interesting on the dirty human station. He smirked as he thought about Bulma.
Piccolo finally found Chi-Chi. Just as he suspected, she was out from the lack of oxygen. She was still half way hanging out of the area that he cleared away. He snorted and grabbed Chi-Chi's by her clothing and yanked, ignoring the ripping sound of cloth. He pulled her out and dropped her on the floor then went to a chair and sat down to watch T.V.
That annoying tune started to play again. Vegeta picked up the phone "What." Piccolo listened with his Namek ears.
"Yam...this is Mandy again" the girl who said that was obviously crying. "I thought you loved me... *sniff*...but this whole time you were playin' me, weren't you? First you stood me up last night and then you told me hours ago that you would come by in two minutes." She started crying harder "I know that I'm only 12 and you are old enough to be my father, but I still love you..."
Vegeta thought about all she had said and was disgusted with Yamcha, but the fact that he was a big loser and that this would bring some good blackmail was too much for Vegeta's evil mind to handle "BWAHAHAHAHA...!!!"
"How dare you laugh at me, you jerk!" She was crying even more now "And I'm gonna show every one that picture of you in that pink tutu!" Then she hung up.
Vegeta and Piccolo busted up laughing after she hung up. Then they started watching the T.V. again. Chi-Chi was still passed out on the floor, the top half of her body was exposed.
* * * * *
Yamcha looked in the window to see Mandy crying on her bed. He smiled to himself, thinking that he was about to get some from the young lady. He tapped the glass.
Mandy looked up and shot him a dirty look. She got up from her bed and stomped to the window and slammed it open on his fingers. "You got alot of nerve coming here after laughing at me on the phone like that!"
Yamcha's eyes widened and he stopped shaking his hands "Candy, it wasn't me! A short, evil, and powerful alien with big, spiky hair stole my phone and took it into outer space with him!"
Mandy glared at him "My name is Mandy! Not Candy! And I know I'm young, but I'm not stupid!"
"But, Mindy! It's the truth!"
With that said, Mandy took a rather large intake of air "DADDY!!!!! THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY ROOM!!! HELP!!!"
Daddy woke up from his nap and as fast as any Z-warrior, he grabbed his rifle and extra ammo and was up in his daughter's room aiming out the window at Yamcha's retreating body. Daddy took three shot and laughed maniacally "Hahaha! I'll teach you to mess with my daughter!" Then he jumped out the window and started running after Yamcha.
"GET HIM DADDY!!!" Mandy was already feeling much better. She grabbed the picture of Yamcha and went to go make plenty of copies.
* * * * *
Piccolo stared at the T.V. with his antennas standing erect and a surprised looked on his face as he watched the porno that Vegeta was watching. Vegeta tnoticedhis and smirked "What's wrong, Namek?" He asked in a mocking tone.
Piccolo took no notice in Vegeta's tone "W-what are those humans doing, Vegeta?"
Vegeta snickered "They are doing IT, Namek." He snickered again behind his hand. "Why? Didn't anyone ever explain to the Asexual Namek how sex and reproduction works?"
Piccolo thought about it and remembered something...
Flashback:
"Goku?"
"Yeah, Piccolo?"
"What is this...sex that I always hear humans talk about?"
"Well, Piccolo, it's how humans have babies."
"You mean humans don't hatch from an egg that is barfed up from their father?...Like me?"
"Nope! Gohan came out from a little hole between Chi-Chi's legs." Goku added with a big cheesy grin on his face.
"But, what is sex?"
"Well, sex is where two people get married and then the wife gives her husband some funny tasting water and the husband starts to feel funny and forgets what happens during the night. Then the next morning, the husband wakes up with a bad headache, feeling sick, and it burns him to go pee. And the wife is in a really good mood and next thing you know, the wife is pregnant! That's how Gohan was made!"
Piccolo raised an antenna thinking 'Maybe I asked the wrong person. I should ask Tien or Yamcha or Krillen."
End flashback.
"No. No one had ever told me what sex is or how human reproduction works."
"Then I shall enlighten you..."
Piccolo scooted closer to Vegeta, but scooted and inch or two back after Vegeta growled at him for getting too close to his broken and bleeding ankle.
"Well, Namek, sex is..."
Big Namekian Ballz - Again, I got no beef with Canadians
So what will happen with Bulma and Gohan? Why did that alien look so familiar to Bulma? Does anyone care what happens to Yamcha? What will Chi-Chi do when she wakes up half naked and clothes torn? What will Vegeta tell Piccolo? What's up with the pink thing? What about Vegeta's ankle? Is anyone reading this?
Next chapter...Chi-Chi wakes up. Bulma and Gohan find out exactly what else they have to make other than a mask. Vegeta's ankle gets the best of him. Piccolo studies.
Vegeta is territorial and some professional kidnappers want to take Bulma for ransom. Will Vegeta let her be taken or will he blast the intruders? A humorous B/V get together. Rated PG-13. Check out my other fic "Trespassing!"