Big Namekian Ballz ~ Wow, thanks for the reviews, guys. I'm happy
to hear that I'm making you all laugh. Don't own Viagra, Victoria
Secrets. Now, on with the chapter.
Hate Triangle
"Bonded For ALL Eternity"
"...and...then...the...c-cat...in the...ha-hat...lived...happily...ever...after." Piccolo closed the book, smiling proudly to himself.
"Good Piccolo! Your a fast learner!" Chi-Chi was beaming that her pupil could already read, somewhat.
"Yes. Now I'm going to go meditate" he started to get up.
"Wait! I wanna know where you go to meditate! And what Vegeta has been doing in the room the last few hours? I've been hearing banging and stuff!"
Piccolo rolled his eyes and mumbled "...stupid control freak..."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!"
"Huh? I said 'probably sleeping'." He quickly recovered.
Chi-Chi's facial expression softened a bit "Oh, well, in that case, I'm gonna go cook dinner." She turned and headed toward the kitchen.
Piccolo fearfully watched her leave the room. 'I'll never get used to her mood swings' then decided to go to his meditation spot.
Chi-Chi went through the cupboards searching for something to eat. "Damn. Mrs. Briefs didn't have time to stock up the kitchen before went took off. I'm gonna kill Yamcha when I get my hands on him." She then looked in the refrigerator and realized that they only had enough food for a few days at the most, considering Vegeta's saiyan appetite. "Hmmm...better tell the assholes we're low on food." Walking out of the kitchen she smirked to herself 'Now I can find out where Piccolo goes to meditate.'
The Control Freak searched through out the ship. She checked the control room, living room, gravity room, her room, the broom closet and the bathroom. As she entered the bathroom she heard water running from the bathtub faucet. She reached behind the shower curtain to turn it off and took a quick glimpse into the bathtub. No one was in there. She shrugged and just figured she could find Piccolo in Vegeta's room.
Piccolo was deep in meditation as he felt Chi-Chi go through out the whole house. Possibly looking for him. Then she entered to room that he was in. She drew closer and he heard his favorite sound cease below him as he hovered above the bathtub, cape blowing in the soft breeze. Maybe if he stayed quiet, The Annoyance would go away.
"YES!!! WOMAN!!!" Vegeta's voice echoed throughout the ship.
"Ugh!" Chi-Chi stomped out and right up to Vegeta's door. "WHAT DO YOU WANT VEGETA!?!"
"...I didn't call...YOU!" his scratchy voice came from the room.
"I'M THE ONLY 'WOMAN' ON THIS SHIP!"
"...go...AWAY!"
"What's the matter, Vegeta, you seem a little pre-occupied." Chi-Chi listened as the room fell in total silence, except for a fast paced squishing-like sound. "OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!"
"NO!!!"
"FINE!!!" The banshee woman did a standing jump kick and the door was kicked in. As she stormed in she saw the most horrifying sight she had ever witnessed, besides seeing Master Roshi naked. There was Vegeta on the bed, relieving his sexual tension with his own hand! "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta looked up to see Chi-Chi screaming bloody murder as she watched him relieve his sexual tension with his own hand! "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" He used his free hand to aim a ki blast at her face. "GET OUT!!!"
Chi-Chi dove down to the floor and in one swift movement she picked up the door, now currently lying on the floor, and used it as a shield. The ki blast burnt a hole in the door. She then took the opportunity to escape. She military rolled out of the room.
"CLOSE THE DOOR!!!" she heard him yell.
She then went back into the room with one hand covering her eyes and the other searching the floor for the damaged door.
"HURRY UP!!!"
She jumped and grabbed the door with both hands, but head down. As soon as she propped the door up against the frame, she felt it was safe to lift her head again. She sighed a sigh of relief and lifted her head, thanking Kami she didn't have to see THAT again. Her gaze fell upon Vegeta's naked form again, glaring back at her through the rather large hole in the door created by his small ki blast.
"AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" Chi-Chi ran toward the bathroom to barf.
* * * * *
Back on Earth...
Panting, Yamcha made it to the city. "Yes! I made it to Falker city alive! That professional hunter won't shoot me in the streets."
SHOOOM...
As bullet flew right by Yamcha's head and ricoched off the building next to him.
"Eek!" Yamcha started running for his life again. "Atleast I know he won't try to kill me at one of the largest malls in the world, The Right-Bye Mall!"
* * * * *
On the Fartling ship...
Frank and Beans came in carrying a stack of books each and dumped the books onto the floor. "Here you are, Saiyan. Don't over load your puny brain." They snickered.
Gohan's eyes lit up with happiness "Okay, I won't, Mr. Fartlings" while digging into the pile of alien books.
Frank and Beans gave each other a puzzled glance. 'How could this kid be so smart, yet SO dumb?' They once again backpedaled out the room so not to turn their backs on the weird Earthlings.
"Wow Gohan! Look at all those alien books! Your mother would be so proud when you come back home knowing things that no other human would know!" Bulma looked down at the pile of books and then she saw a creature that she had seen on Earth before. "Hey, that alien looks like Frieza." She picked up the book and read the cover "The Horrendous Reign of Frieza Cold."
"Look Bulma! A book about Saiyans! This book is gonna be the first one I read!" Gohan held the book up to Bulma's eye level.
"Gosh. That man looks like Vegeta with red hair" she looked a little closer "and that little boy looks like Vegeta!"
"Wow. I bet it is Vegeta! A universal celebrity lives in your backyard, Bulma!"
Bulma's eyes got big hearts in her eyes. "Wow. And I'm his mate..."
"What did you say, Bulma?"
"Uh...I said...uh...I'd better get to work." Bulma walked up to the double doors in her living room that the Fartlings had casually mentioned was her personal lab. "Ugh. I can't wait to see what a generic lab they built for me." As she opened the doors he eyes grew wide at the beautiful sighting front of her.
Hundreds of Fartlings scurried around the football field sized room wearing white lab coats. She could hear cheering in the background and one Fartling yell "HEY! STOP HUMPING THE MACHINERY!"
A Fartling came up to her and handed her a blue lab coat that matched her odd colored hair. "Pleased to meet you, Ms. Briefs. My name is Stinkbomb. I will be your head personal assistant for the remainder of your stay. Would you like me to show you around your new lab?"
"Uh...yes. I would greatly appreciate that." Bulma slipped on her lab coat and it fit her perfectly. 'Bulma Briefs' was embroidered in black on her coat. Bulma was truly stunned.
* * * * *
Elsewhere on that same damn ship...
"Lord Fart, you cannot continue to ignore the signs. You need to destroy the Earthlings, Planet Earth, and the pink thingy." Old Fart exclaimed.
"Calm yourself, Old Fart. There is no need to get worked up over this. Our advanced race will always prevail."
"But sir, the boy is half saiyan as well as human. He could be the Purple Prince. And the woman...Frank and Beans have informed me that she claims to be the Dark Prince's mate."
"THE BOY IS NOT PURPLE! AND THE DARK PRINCE IS DEAD! THIS IS OBSURED!"
"But the boy is human and saiyan! The human woman is the Blue Queen. That makes one saiyan and two humans, the pink thing, and the Blue Queen of Saiyans."
"Even so, the legend claims two saiyans, three humans, Purple Prince, Blue Queen, the pink thing, AND Killer all come at once. Where is the other saiyan, the other human, the Purple Prince and most of all WHERE IS KILLER?"
"Well, sir, I cannot say where Killer is. The legend says he emerges from smoke. Nor do I know about the other three, but I do have a theory."
"Spill the beans!"
"The other saiyan, human, and Purple Prince...are all the same person."
"WHAT? HAVE YOU GONE SENILE? GUARDS! DISPOSE OF THIS WORTHLESS BAG OF GAS!"
The guards come to take Old Fart to the de-gasing chamber.
"Think about it, Sir!" Old Fart yelled as he was being dragged away to his doom. "IF THE WOMAN IS THE MATE OF THE DARK PRINCE THEN THEIR CHILD WOULD BE SAIYAN AND HUMAN AND A PRINCE!" Old Fart had a tear in his eye knowing that his race won't last that much longer as he was dragged away.
Lord Fart listened, but paid no heed. He did not believe in the silly legend. He didn't believe that Killer would used the pink thing to end his life or that Killer would simply use a disk to destroy his spectacular race. He snorted "Killer is supposed to be half fartling, half human. He wouldn't destroy his own race for anything."
* * * * *
Chi-Chi flushed the toilet. The picture of Vegeta relieving his sexual tension with his hand danced in her head. "Ugh..." She had never experienced her stomach so queasy - except for that one time she saw master Roshi naked. 'Maybe if I took a big shit my stomach would feel better.' She lifted her dress and pulled down her Vicci's. "Ahhh..." She sighed in relief.
Piccolo sniffed the air 'How can a Namek meditate with all that rank stench?' he thought to himself as he feet touched to bottom of the bathtub. "What the fuck is that horrible smell!!!"
Chi-Chi's relaxation came to an abrupt halt as she heard a rough voice say "What the fuck is that horrible smell!!!"
She screamed as the shower curtain was violently shoved aside. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo took in the sight of her trying unsuccessfully to cover her large, untamed bush (think scary movie before it was chain sawed). "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta heard his unwelcome passengers screaming bloody murder and his fighting instincts kicked in, thinking the ship was under attack by space pirates. At the speed of light, he was at ground zero.
He took in the sight of Chi-Chi on the pot, bush bulging out everywhere. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Chi-Chi looked at the other intruder of her private time doing the necessary and realized he was only sporting a woody. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo's eyes moved to Vegeta's naked body and his virgin eyes where - yet, again - violated with the horror of seeing his first REAL private areas'. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta glanced down to where they were looking and realized he wasn't wearing any clothes and that the Viagra hadn't worn off yet. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta quickly turned to run, but his boner hit the door frame with such force, he fell to the ground in agony. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo took this opportunity to run out of the bathroom, but on his way out he tripped and kneed Vegeta in nuts. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Chi-Chi got up and slammed the door with all her might.
* * * * *
Back on the Fartling ship:
Bulma came into the living quarters to get her reading glasses to see Gohan with his nose in the Saiyan book. "Hey Kid, find out anything interesting?"
Gohan looked up from the book "Yeah, Bulma! I'm reading about how Saiyans used to bond. NOTHING could break the bond. Not even death! Their two souls are connected for all eternity! Bonded for ALL eternity!"
"Sounds interesting. Very romantic. How do two people bond?"
"Well, one has to bite the other's neck..."
"Hmmm...I better get back to work." Bulma walked off thinking about biting Vegeta's neck...
* * * * *
Piccolo got up and helped up Vegeta, who was crying lightly. The Viagra was starting to wear off thanks to the sight of Chi-Chi's untamed bush.
"Vegeta, what was Chi-Chi doing in there?" Piccolo was curious as to why he had to see her with no pants on. He took off his cape and handed it to Vegeta.
" *sniff* She was taking a shit, Namek! DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO YOU TO?!?" He wrapped the cape around his naked body. Explaining how sex and reproduction to the clueless namek was fun and interesting, but now he had to explain human excretion?
"What is the purpose of this...'shit'?" Piccolo sat on the couch.
Vegeta sat on the other couch. "Well, Namek, have you ever noticed that we...normal beings not only drink water, but we also need to eat food?"
"Yes, I've realized that." Piccolo rolled his eyes at Vegeta for explaining the information as if he were a clueless child, which he wasn't.
"Well, Namek, we...normal beings would explode if we didn't have any means of excreting the food. So we shit it out."
"What eat it and then shit it out?" This was all to confusing to the water drinking namek.
"Because we need the vitamins and minerals. They make us stronger and live longer."
"But Kami doesn't eat food, he only drinks water. So did my father. They both lived to be over thousands of years old and Kami is still alive. Maybe vitamins and minerals shorten your life span."
"No, Namek! It makes you stronger! That's why I'm stronger than you!" Vegeta was frustrated at having to explain everything to the stupid namek.
"Oh. Then Goku is stronger than you because he eats more food?"
"NO NAMEK! KAKAROT IS NOT STRONGER THAN ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ARE A FREAK!!!"
"Just because I don't eat food like every else does, it doesn't make me a freak!"
"NAMEK'S A FREAK! NAMEK'S A FREAK! NAMEK'S A FREAK!" Vegeta started throwing the couch cushions at Piccolo.
"NO!!!"
Flashback to his first day at Kindergarten:
One bully reached for his turban "I got his turban!" All the kids gasped when they saw his antennas.
"He's a freak!" a kid yelled right before he ran away screaming for him mama.
"HE'S NOT A FREAK!" Liccopo yelled back.
"FREAK!" a bully yelled. Then all the little kids started chanting "Freak! Freak! Freak ! Freak! Freak!"
"Come on Piccolo, let's go. Don't listen to them." Liccopo took Piccolo's hand and started leading him away from the crowd of kids.
As they were leaving one bully yelled "FREAK!" and started throwing rocks at Piccolo. The other kids started copying him yelling "Freak!" and throwing rocks at him. Then one hit Liccopo so hard that she started crying.
End traumatizing flashback.
"NO!!! LICCOPO!!!"
Vegeta stopped chanting and throwing cushions "Huh?" He had never seen the namek snap like that. He had expected the namek to say 'Knock it off, Vegeta' and fire a small ki blast at his chest, but now he looks a little pale.
"DIE!!!" Piccolo dove at Vegeta with murderous eyes.
Vegeta didn't have time to react or counter the violent attack. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo dug his claws into Vegeta's shoulders and sunk his fangs into Vegeta's neck. "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooo...!!!
"What's going on here!?!" Chi-Chi stood five feet away from them.
The two stopped fighting and looked up at her, not daring to say a word about what happened earlier.
"HE CALLED ME A FREAK!!!"
"HE BIT MY NECK!!!"
"Do you guys have to act like little kids?" Chi-Chi put her hands on her hips and scolded them.
"CUNT!!! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS?!? HE BIT ME!!! THEREFOR, WE ARE NOW BONDED!!!"
"Bonded? You mean like mates?" Piccolo was afraid to ask.
"YES!!! BONDED FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!"
Piccolo fainted. Chi-Chi fell to the ground, laughing hysterically.
BNB ~ I bet none of you expected that. Now, tell me, which of the three do you feel sorry most in this chapter? And tell me why.
Vegeta ignored [Bulma's] yelling and focused on a new smell. The smell of urine. The smell of adult, male, human piss! Yamcha's piss. He looked at Yamcha who pissed his pants as he thought hard at the situation. 'So the Weakling is trying to mark my territory. What a pathetic attempt. His scent marker hasn't even touched the ground...yet. I'll fix that.' Without warning, Vegeta used the ki ball he was holding and burned Yamcha's lower half. Wanna know what the hell THIS is? Check out my other humorous fic. The B/V fic with the Territorial Saiyan'...Tresspassing
Email me if you wanna be on my chapter alert list! Cuz I know I don't put out as often as I should.
Hate Triangle
"Bonded For ALL Eternity"
"...and...then...the...c-cat...in the...ha-hat...lived...happily...ever...after." Piccolo closed the book, smiling proudly to himself.
"Good Piccolo! Your a fast learner!" Chi-Chi was beaming that her pupil could already read, somewhat.
"Yes. Now I'm going to go meditate" he started to get up.
"Wait! I wanna know where you go to meditate! And what Vegeta has been doing in the room the last few hours? I've been hearing banging and stuff!"
Piccolo rolled his eyes and mumbled "...stupid control freak..."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!"
"Huh? I said 'probably sleeping'." He quickly recovered.
Chi-Chi's facial expression softened a bit "Oh, well, in that case, I'm gonna go cook dinner." She turned and headed toward the kitchen.
Piccolo fearfully watched her leave the room. 'I'll never get used to her mood swings' then decided to go to his meditation spot.
Chi-Chi went through the cupboards searching for something to eat. "Damn. Mrs. Briefs didn't have time to stock up the kitchen before went took off. I'm gonna kill Yamcha when I get my hands on him." She then looked in the refrigerator and realized that they only had enough food for a few days at the most, considering Vegeta's saiyan appetite. "Hmmm...better tell the assholes we're low on food." Walking out of the kitchen she smirked to herself 'Now I can find out where Piccolo goes to meditate.'
The Control Freak searched through out the ship. She checked the control room, living room, gravity room, her room, the broom closet and the bathroom. As she entered the bathroom she heard water running from the bathtub faucet. She reached behind the shower curtain to turn it off and took a quick glimpse into the bathtub. No one was in there. She shrugged and just figured she could find Piccolo in Vegeta's room.
Piccolo was deep in meditation as he felt Chi-Chi go through out the whole house. Possibly looking for him. Then she entered to room that he was in. She drew closer and he heard his favorite sound cease below him as he hovered above the bathtub, cape blowing in the soft breeze. Maybe if he stayed quiet, The Annoyance would go away.
"YES!!! WOMAN!!!" Vegeta's voice echoed throughout the ship.
"Ugh!" Chi-Chi stomped out and right up to Vegeta's door. "WHAT DO YOU WANT VEGETA!?!"
"...I didn't call...YOU!" his scratchy voice came from the room.
"I'M THE ONLY 'WOMAN' ON THIS SHIP!"
"...go...AWAY!"
"What's the matter, Vegeta, you seem a little pre-occupied." Chi-Chi listened as the room fell in total silence, except for a fast paced squishing-like sound. "OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!"
"NO!!!"
"FINE!!!" The banshee woman did a standing jump kick and the door was kicked in. As she stormed in she saw the most horrifying sight she had ever witnessed, besides seeing Master Roshi naked. There was Vegeta on the bed, relieving his sexual tension with his own hand! "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta looked up to see Chi-Chi screaming bloody murder as she watched him relieve his sexual tension with his own hand! "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" He used his free hand to aim a ki blast at her face. "GET OUT!!!"
Chi-Chi dove down to the floor and in one swift movement she picked up the door, now currently lying on the floor, and used it as a shield. The ki blast burnt a hole in the door. She then took the opportunity to escape. She military rolled out of the room.
"CLOSE THE DOOR!!!" she heard him yell.
She then went back into the room with one hand covering her eyes and the other searching the floor for the damaged door.
"HURRY UP!!!"
She jumped and grabbed the door with both hands, but head down. As soon as she propped the door up against the frame, she felt it was safe to lift her head again. She sighed a sigh of relief and lifted her head, thanking Kami she didn't have to see THAT again. Her gaze fell upon Vegeta's naked form again, glaring back at her through the rather large hole in the door created by his small ki blast.
"AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" Chi-Chi ran toward the bathroom to barf.
* * * * *
Back on Earth...
Panting, Yamcha made it to the city. "Yes! I made it to Falker city alive! That professional hunter won't shoot me in the streets."
SHOOOM...
As bullet flew right by Yamcha's head and ricoched off the building next to him.
"Eek!" Yamcha started running for his life again. "Atleast I know he won't try to kill me at one of the largest malls in the world, The Right-Bye Mall!"
* * * * *
On the Fartling ship...
Frank and Beans came in carrying a stack of books each and dumped the books onto the floor. "Here you are, Saiyan. Don't over load your puny brain." They snickered.
Gohan's eyes lit up with happiness "Okay, I won't, Mr. Fartlings" while digging into the pile of alien books.
Frank and Beans gave each other a puzzled glance. 'How could this kid be so smart, yet SO dumb?' They once again backpedaled out the room so not to turn their backs on the weird Earthlings.
"Wow Gohan! Look at all those alien books! Your mother would be so proud when you come back home knowing things that no other human would know!" Bulma looked down at the pile of books and then she saw a creature that she had seen on Earth before. "Hey, that alien looks like Frieza." She picked up the book and read the cover "The Horrendous Reign of Frieza Cold."
"Look Bulma! A book about Saiyans! This book is gonna be the first one I read!" Gohan held the book up to Bulma's eye level.
"Gosh. That man looks like Vegeta with red hair" she looked a little closer "and that little boy looks like Vegeta!"
"Wow. I bet it is Vegeta! A universal celebrity lives in your backyard, Bulma!"
Bulma's eyes got big hearts in her eyes. "Wow. And I'm his mate..."
"What did you say, Bulma?"
"Uh...I said...uh...I'd better get to work." Bulma walked up to the double doors in her living room that the Fartlings had casually mentioned was her personal lab. "Ugh. I can't wait to see what a generic lab they built for me." As she opened the doors he eyes grew wide at the beautiful sighting front of her.
Hundreds of Fartlings scurried around the football field sized room wearing white lab coats. She could hear cheering in the background and one Fartling yell "HEY! STOP HUMPING THE MACHINERY!"
A Fartling came up to her and handed her a blue lab coat that matched her odd colored hair. "Pleased to meet you, Ms. Briefs. My name is Stinkbomb. I will be your head personal assistant for the remainder of your stay. Would you like me to show you around your new lab?"
"Uh...yes. I would greatly appreciate that." Bulma slipped on her lab coat and it fit her perfectly. 'Bulma Briefs' was embroidered in black on her coat. Bulma was truly stunned.
* * * * *
Elsewhere on that same damn ship...
"Lord Fart, you cannot continue to ignore the signs. You need to destroy the Earthlings, Planet Earth, and the pink thingy." Old Fart exclaimed.
"Calm yourself, Old Fart. There is no need to get worked up over this. Our advanced race will always prevail."
"But sir, the boy is half saiyan as well as human. He could be the Purple Prince. And the woman...Frank and Beans have informed me that she claims to be the Dark Prince's mate."
"THE BOY IS NOT PURPLE! AND THE DARK PRINCE IS DEAD! THIS IS OBSURED!"
"But the boy is human and saiyan! The human woman is the Blue Queen. That makes one saiyan and two humans, the pink thing, and the Blue Queen of Saiyans."
"Even so, the legend claims two saiyans, three humans, Purple Prince, Blue Queen, the pink thing, AND Killer all come at once. Where is the other saiyan, the other human, the Purple Prince and most of all WHERE IS KILLER?"
"Well, sir, I cannot say where Killer is. The legend says he emerges from smoke. Nor do I know about the other three, but I do have a theory."
"Spill the beans!"
"The other saiyan, human, and Purple Prince...are all the same person."
"WHAT? HAVE YOU GONE SENILE? GUARDS! DISPOSE OF THIS WORTHLESS BAG OF GAS!"
The guards come to take Old Fart to the de-gasing chamber.
"Think about it, Sir!" Old Fart yelled as he was being dragged away to his doom. "IF THE WOMAN IS THE MATE OF THE DARK PRINCE THEN THEIR CHILD WOULD BE SAIYAN AND HUMAN AND A PRINCE!" Old Fart had a tear in his eye knowing that his race won't last that much longer as he was dragged away.
Lord Fart listened, but paid no heed. He did not believe in the silly legend. He didn't believe that Killer would used the pink thing to end his life or that Killer would simply use a disk to destroy his spectacular race. He snorted "Killer is supposed to be half fartling, half human. He wouldn't destroy his own race for anything."
* * * * *
Chi-Chi flushed the toilet. The picture of Vegeta relieving his sexual tension with his hand danced in her head. "Ugh..." She had never experienced her stomach so queasy - except for that one time she saw master Roshi naked. 'Maybe if I took a big shit my stomach would feel better.' She lifted her dress and pulled down her Vicci's. "Ahhh..." She sighed in relief.
Piccolo sniffed the air 'How can a Namek meditate with all that rank stench?' he thought to himself as he feet touched to bottom of the bathtub. "What the fuck is that horrible smell!!!"
Chi-Chi's relaxation came to an abrupt halt as she heard a rough voice say "What the fuck is that horrible smell!!!"
She screamed as the shower curtain was violently shoved aside. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo took in the sight of her trying unsuccessfully to cover her large, untamed bush (think scary movie before it was chain sawed). "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta heard his unwelcome passengers screaming bloody murder and his fighting instincts kicked in, thinking the ship was under attack by space pirates. At the speed of light, he was at ground zero.
He took in the sight of Chi-Chi on the pot, bush bulging out everywhere. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Chi-Chi looked at the other intruder of her private time doing the necessary and realized he was only sporting a woody. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo's eyes moved to Vegeta's naked body and his virgin eyes where - yet, again - violated with the horror of seeing his first REAL private areas'. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta glanced down to where they were looking and realized he wasn't wearing any clothes and that the Viagra hadn't worn off yet. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Vegeta quickly turned to run, but his boner hit the door frame with such force, he fell to the ground in agony. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo took this opportunity to run out of the bathroom, but on his way out he tripped and kneed Vegeta in nuts. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Chi-Chi got up and slammed the door with all her might.
* * * * *
Back on the Fartling ship:
Bulma came into the living quarters to get her reading glasses to see Gohan with his nose in the Saiyan book. "Hey Kid, find out anything interesting?"
Gohan looked up from the book "Yeah, Bulma! I'm reading about how Saiyans used to bond. NOTHING could break the bond. Not even death! Their two souls are connected for all eternity! Bonded for ALL eternity!"
"Sounds interesting. Very romantic. How do two people bond?"
"Well, one has to bite the other's neck..."
"Hmmm...I better get back to work." Bulma walked off thinking about biting Vegeta's neck...
* * * * *
Piccolo got up and helped up Vegeta, who was crying lightly. The Viagra was starting to wear off thanks to the sight of Chi-Chi's untamed bush.
"Vegeta, what was Chi-Chi doing in there?" Piccolo was curious as to why he had to see her with no pants on. He took off his cape and handed it to Vegeta.
" *sniff* She was taking a shit, Namek! DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO YOU TO?!?" He wrapped the cape around his naked body. Explaining how sex and reproduction to the clueless namek was fun and interesting, but now he had to explain human excretion?
"What is the purpose of this...'shit'?" Piccolo sat on the couch.
Vegeta sat on the other couch. "Well, Namek, have you ever noticed that we...normal beings not only drink water, but we also need to eat food?"
"Yes, I've realized that." Piccolo rolled his eyes at Vegeta for explaining the information as if he were a clueless child, which he wasn't.
"Well, Namek, we...normal beings would explode if we didn't have any means of excreting the food. So we shit it out."
"What eat it and then shit it out?" This was all to confusing to the water drinking namek.
"Because we need the vitamins and minerals. They make us stronger and live longer."
"But Kami doesn't eat food, he only drinks water. So did my father. They both lived to be over thousands of years old and Kami is still alive. Maybe vitamins and minerals shorten your life span."
"No, Namek! It makes you stronger! That's why I'm stronger than you!" Vegeta was frustrated at having to explain everything to the stupid namek.
"Oh. Then Goku is stronger than you because he eats more food?"
"NO NAMEK! KAKAROT IS NOT STRONGER THAN ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ARE A FREAK!!!"
"Just because I don't eat food like every else does, it doesn't make me a freak!"
"NAMEK'S A FREAK! NAMEK'S A FREAK! NAMEK'S A FREAK!" Vegeta started throwing the couch cushions at Piccolo.
"NO!!!"
Flashback to his first day at Kindergarten:
One bully reached for his turban "I got his turban!" All the kids gasped when they saw his antennas.
"He's a freak!" a kid yelled right before he ran away screaming for him mama.
"HE'S NOT A FREAK!" Liccopo yelled back.
"FREAK!" a bully yelled. Then all the little kids started chanting "Freak! Freak! Freak ! Freak! Freak!"
"Come on Piccolo, let's go. Don't listen to them." Liccopo took Piccolo's hand and started leading him away from the crowd of kids.
As they were leaving one bully yelled "FREAK!" and started throwing rocks at Piccolo. The other kids started copying him yelling "Freak!" and throwing rocks at him. Then one hit Liccopo so hard that she started crying.
End traumatizing flashback.
"NO!!! LICCOPO!!!"
Vegeta stopped chanting and throwing cushions "Huh?" He had never seen the namek snap like that. He had expected the namek to say 'Knock it off, Vegeta' and fire a small ki blast at his chest, but now he looks a little pale.
"DIE!!!" Piccolo dove at Vegeta with murderous eyes.
Vegeta didn't have time to react or counter the violent attack. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
Piccolo dug his claws into Vegeta's shoulders and sunk his fangs into Vegeta's neck. "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooo...!!!
"What's going on here!?!" Chi-Chi stood five feet away from them.
The two stopped fighting and looked up at her, not daring to say a word about what happened earlier.
"HE CALLED ME A FREAK!!!"
"HE BIT MY NECK!!!"
"Do you guys have to act like little kids?" Chi-Chi put her hands on her hips and scolded them.
"CUNT!!! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS?!? HE BIT ME!!! THEREFOR, WE ARE NOW BONDED!!!"
"Bonded? You mean like mates?" Piccolo was afraid to ask.
"YES!!! BONDED FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!"
Piccolo fainted. Chi-Chi fell to the ground, laughing hysterically.
BNB ~ I bet none of you expected that. Now, tell me, which of the three do you feel sorry most in this chapter? And tell me why.
Vegeta ignored [Bulma's] yelling and focused on a new smell. The smell of urine. The smell of adult, male, human piss! Yamcha's piss. He looked at Yamcha who pissed his pants as he thought hard at the situation. 'So the Weakling is trying to mark my territory. What a pathetic attempt. His scent marker hasn't even touched the ground...yet. I'll fix that.' Without warning, Vegeta used the ki ball he was holding and burned Yamcha's lower half. Wanna know what the hell THIS is? Check out my other humorous fic. The B/V fic with the Territorial Saiyan'...Tresspassing
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