Understanding

Chapter 12 – Tea and sherbet lemons (sorry that really is an awful chapter name.)

Severus was smiling as I shut the door behind Harry and Sirius. I walked back over to the desk and sat down opposite him.

'Well, I've got to say it, Severus, I'm proud of you.' I said. 'See what happens when you make an effort?'

'Thank you, Hermione.'

'What for?'

'For giving me a push in the right direction just then.'

'A push?! Hardly! I shouted at you.' I said in an undertone.

'Well, maybe that's what I needed. I can't remember the last time someone shouted at me like that. I'm used to threats, and Unforgivable curses, but never shouting.'

'Maybe it shows I care.'

'Do you care?'

'Don't be daft, Severus, of course I care about you.' I laughed.

'Why?' He asked. I thought he was joking, but when I looked into his eyes I saw that he wasn't.

'Why not?' I replied, skirting around the question with another of my own.

'Why not?' He echoed. 'Don't get me started. I've treated you and your friends like dirt for seven years.'

'Just because you hold a grudge well, doesn't mean that everyone does, Severus. Honestly, I understand the position you were in. It's all forgotten now. Like you said to Sirius, it's a new start. We need to let go of the past.'

'It's not just the past though, is it Hermione? Only last night, just when we were getting on well, I went and fucked it all up by kissing you.' His voice was raised, but he seemed to be shouting at himself rather than me.

'Do you have to heap all the blame on yourself? We kissed each other!'

'Well that may be the case, but you only did it because you felt sorry for me.' He seemed really angry now, but I didn't know who his anger was directed at, himself, or me. 'I poured my heart out to you, and you thought you'd give the sad old man a little bit of attention to make me feel better.'

'Shut up! You know it wasn't like that! You listen to me, Severus Snape. I have never, ever pitied you. You're not a sad old man. We kissed each other, and whatever you say I'll not regret it. I kissed you because I wanted to, nothing more, nothing less.' With that I walked out, slamming the door for effect.

I walked slowly out of the dungeons, lost in thought. Men, who needed them? Honestly, I couldn't believe that a man who appeared on the surface to think so much of himself, to be so unswervingly proud, could, underneath all those layers, actually think that the only reason I would dream of kissing him was out of pity. Pity! If there was one thing I never did if I could help it, it was pitying people. After all, making the best of a bad situation was the one thing we had to learn from. Okay, so Severus had grown from a bad childhood, but why would I pity him because of that? Throughout my life in the wizarding world, my origins had been looked down on by so-called pure blooded wizards, perhaps if they hadn't been so busy hating me, they would have pitied me. But for what reason? Surely it didn't matter what you were born as, if you were a good person. I wasn't quite sure how my confused thoughts had travelled from me supposedly feeling sorry for Severus to wizarding prejudice, when I bumped into Professor Dumbledore in the Entrance Hall.

'Hermione, good evening.' He said, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

'Good evening, Professor.' I replied.

'Please, call me Albus. We're equals now.'

'Okay……Albus.'

'Would you like to join me for tea in my office?' He asked politely.

'Er, yes of course.' I answered, and we set off through the corridors.

I seated myself by the roaring fireplace, as I was offered tea, and then sherbet lemons. I declined the sherbet lemons, after deciding that they didn't really go with tea.

'How is the work on the potion going?' He asked me as he took a seat.

'Fine. Do you know about it then?' I asked, even though it was obvious that he did.

'Yes, yes. Severus has explained it to me. I gather it was you who discovered it?'

'Well, yes, I suppose so, but it was my handbook really, it just pointed out the obvious.' I sipped at my tea.

'Not at all. It must have been you who chose to follow the path of Harry and Voldemort's brother wand cores.'

'I thought about other possible routes, but it seemed to me that the wand cores are a major weakness of Voldemort's.'

'Very true. Now, I'm working on gathering an army of sorts, everyone who is on our side, as back up when we go in. We'll need to gain the allegiance of the Dementors, of course. They will help gather up the remaining Death Eaters. If and when their allegiance is gained, we should be able to capture Death Eaters and thus severely weaken Voldemort's support. That way, even if we are unsuccessful with the original strategy, he will be prevented from drastic action. Although without the potion we can't destroy his powers, as a collective group we can seriously reduce his threat.' Albus finished, then drank from his tea cup, whilst sucking on a sherbet lemon.

'Sounds like you've got everything covered, Albus.' I smiled.

'These things never quite go to plan, in the end. Now, Hermione, had you thought of how the potion will be taken to Voldemort?'

'Er, well, originally, I suppose Severus would have taken it during a meeting, but now that's out of the question, clearly.'

'Yes,' He seemed to be prompting me to suggest my decision from the previous night.

'Or, I could take it, in my animagus form?'

'That was what I was thinking. I don't know if Severus would agree to you going in his place, though.' He winked at me.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, the two of you do seem to getting on famously, don't you think?'

'Hhmmph. We were just arguing before I bumped into you. I don't think he thinks an awful lot of me.'

'What makes you think that?'

'He thinks I feel sorry for him because of his childhood.'

'And do you?'

'Of course not! He's a good man. But he can be so damned difficult sometimes.'

'I know that. I've known him for almost thirty years! But you're right. He is a good man. That side of him just needs encouraging every so often, that's all. Trust me, Hermione; Severus does think a lot of you. He just takes time to let people into his life sometimes.' I smiled weakly in response, then went back to my tea as we sat in silence. Then, who should burst from the moving staircase but Severus himself, black robe flapping out behind him.

'Ah, Severus, good evening. I think I'll just leave you two here. Yes, I could do with a visit to see Professor Sprout's new batch of mandrakes. Goodbye.' With that, Albus turned and shot out onto the moving staircase, leaving Severus and I awkwardly avoiding one another's eyes. He sat down in the chair that Albus had just vacated, and helped himself to a sherbet lemon, which was very out of character. I sat and stared at him. He said nothing. For five minutes, we sat in silence. I began humming a tune to myself. I would not be the one to crack first.

'Hermione, I need to know, were you telling the truth when you said you wanted to kiss me?' He asked quietly after a further five minutes.

'Of course I was. Why would I lie to you?'

'Well, I've just been racking my brains and I can't think of a single reason why you would want to kiss me.' He laughed.

'Severus, the most simple reason of why I kissed you was because I just couldn't resist. Are you happy now?'

'I don't understand. What couldn't you resist?' He had one eyebrow tilted upwards, and from the glittering in his eyes I could tell he was teasing me now.

'Well,' I said, mentally compiling a list. 'There's your voice for a start. And the whole dark, formidable image thing. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was utterly irresistible.' I said with a big grin on my face.

'What voice? You mean this one?' He growled.

'Er, yes. Has no one ever mentioned it before?'

'Well, you know, only in my fan mail.' He smiled a wide, false grin and tossed his hair, in manner of Gilderoy Lockhart. I was lost from that moment, the image was just too amusing. I was doubled over in laughter.

'Honestly, Hermione. You really are something else.' He leaned over and kissed me on the nose, which only made me laugh even more, for some reason. While he was in a good mood, I decided to tell him about my decision.

'Severus, I need to tell you something, more serious.'

'What is it?' He asked suspiciously.

'I decided, and Albus agrees, that I should be the one to take the potion to Voldemort.'

A/N

Sorry about the shortness of this chapter. I've had an idea for a new story pop into my head this week, and I can't get it out! Still, this story will probably be over by the time it gets to twenty chapters, so I can concentrate on it then.

Thanks to Ponine, DragonFireAngelVWP, LadyBrannon, OzRatbag2, kittykat52788, sorceress, Luna Writer and StarGazr! Severus loans all round (if you want him!) if not you can borrow Harry, or Sirius, or whoever takes your fancy! If you want Dumbledore, though, I will start to seriously doubt your sanity. Of course, I'm sure he's really good looking if you squint a bit, and forget the fact that he's 150 years old!(

Ponine – The 'new start' thing was supposed to be kind of ambiguous, it was really said to Sirius, as they were starting over, forgetting all about being enemies at school. But Severus looked at Hermione straight after to kind of imply that they also should have a new start, because he acted like such an idiot when he flew out the room the day before. I hope this clears it up!

DragonFireAngelVWP – Teachers have a habit of setting loads of work at the worst time, don't they? Fortunately, I have finished all my coursework before Easter, and I leave school forever in three weeks!! But, I still have to go back for exams. I will try and make the next chapter longer.

Thanks for reading, please review, or else I will force you to eat vomit flavoured beans!