Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I do not take any credit for them etc. See chapter 1 for the rest of it.

Chapter 3: Of the coming of age and a corset strap.

            Anyhow, it did eventually come to pass that Boromir was rescued from this terrible plight. Although no-one seemed to care that he'd gone – in fact so far it seemed that no-one had actually noticed – he was chanced upon about 5 years later by Aragorn, who was searching for his lost family heirloom. This precious item was his great great great grandmother's leather corset strap, and a Middle-Earth wide search was being conducted. Aragorn seemed to think this was necessay. Anyway, rather than actually having any desire to free Boromir, Aragorn thought that if he did he could leave Boromir to search the rest of Caradhras and get the hell out of there.

            Meanwhile, back in Rivendell Elrond had decided that many of the younger elves were now old and mature enough to have responsibilities concerning some of his many experiments. At which declaration they had decided to act as immaturely as possible and go to smash up his room. "After all," they pondered, "if you're going to go to all the bother you might as well pick someone with an expensive taste in interior design."

            Needless to say Elrond was slightly dissappointed with the lack of enthusiasm for his ideas of a bright, modern new world. However, he could hardly fail to understand his comrades' reluctance concerning the 'abrasive mould' that had destroyed the sanatorium a grand total of 17 times (not including the times it had been 'half destroyed' or 'almost destroyed' or 'practically destroyed'), and the 'rafflesia air freshener' which meant the sanatorium was needed more than ever just when it was out of action. (Rafflesia is a flower that smells of rotten meat). Even Elrond's cook was having problems – the 'popping candy' went a bit over the top. There goes what was left of the antique architecture.

            However, there was one other reason why the younger elves thought it at their convenience to smash up what was left of Rivendell. They were looking for a ceratin slingshot which had been confiscated some years ago after a nasty accident involving a large rock, a violent vermillion coloured robe and a field of Spanish bulls. It had happened to have a very fine leather strap, and Aragorn appeared slightly upset when he realised it was no longer in his sparkly purple jewellery box. These younger Elves had been brought up very strictly in the proper etiquette (you say 'give me that juice mother, now!' not 'Hand i' over dere mum, dis sec'nd!' as one example of court manners) and aswell as wanting to help Aragorn in his plight also thought there might be a reward in the bargain. Especially if they 'happened' to find it somewhere dangerous. Or they could get an even bigger reward from one of Aragorn's friends who was getting fed up and would pay any price to get rid of him. Heh heh heh

            Anyway, by now Aragorn was so distraught that he decided drastic measures were in order. He must go and visit Merry and Pippin. Walking slowly and dejectedly up to their door, he gave a 'light tap' (at which point the door fell in, smashing into the light and plunging the hobbit-hole into complete darkness) walked in the door (tripping over the carpet and landing face first in Boromir's basket of leftover mushrooms which he had given the hobbits as a gift) then called out Merry and Pippin's names (waking up a very vicous dog in the next room.) Soon Merry and Pip came to see what all the fuss was about, and sniggered as they tried to untangle Aragorn from the dog and the hat stand with which he was defending himself with (well, attempting to.) Merry sighed. "Well, Mr Strider, it appears that our dog's been annoying you again. Dear old Mauler." Aragorn's glare as blood poured down his leg was completely lost as Merry enquired whether he wanted some more mushrooms. And he even forgot his own anger as he gradually lost it in the euphoria of his mushroom DHE.

"Merry?" said Pip.

"Yes Pip?" said Merry.

"I thought Aragorn was supposed to be a proud and chivalrous warrior." Unfortunately at this moment the DHE wore off and Aragorn, now fully returned to his senses, looked at Pippin in shock. "Why, you….you…..you can TALK! In the language of the Dunedain! And I actually understood you! I didn't know you could talk that language!"

Pip raised his eyebrows disdainfully. "I didn't know that YOU could talk at all actually. Judging by the success of your battle strategies you don't seem to possess any great intellectual capacity."

"Go get 'im Pip!" yelled Merry in encouragement, skipping around the room with a bottle of recently discovered diet lemonade, "and I bet he can't swing off that tree like you do either!"

Aragorn spluttered, and enquired what tree this might be. When Merry showed him the little apple tree in the garden he swaggered over with a manly swagger and began to climb up after Pip. "Now," said Pip, "you simply put your foot here, your right hand here, your left hand here round this rope…….and swing!" Aragorn snorted at the easiness of it all. He put his foot in the foot hole, his right hand where instructed, and his left hand on the rope. He was just about to let go when he happened to glance at the rope he was holding. With a surprised yell he let go, his foot caught in a vine swung him round into the trunk, but unfortunately he was still holding onto the other branch. With a 'snap' it gave way, leaving him to fall in a very convenient hole which was filled with nettles. Lovely.

And as to the familiarity of this hole and the rope (which you have most probably guessed) you'll have to wait for chapter 4. If you can still be bothered reading this after all the forced jokes that is………