Chapter 2 – Temporary Solutions

Spike's words rang out through the night shattering her illusions of his trust in her.  He turned to head back toward the car, leaving her unable to breath, frozen in her pain. Her mind scrambled for something to say, anything that would hold him there.

"You want to touch me. Then touch me," she cried. As he turned back to look at her, she began to pull her clothes off. "Go ahead and fuck me, Spike."

Her shoes flew through the air landing at his feet as her sobs stopped anymore words from being said. A part of her didn't care. She wanted him. Had always wanted him but she had once believed in happy endings and if all she could now be was one of his weekly conquests then that is what she would be.

"Stop it, Buffy." He said but yet he watched as her body became more visible.

"No, what you said is bullshit. You know it is." She said. "I have never, ever, thought that you weren't good enough for me."

"Then why," he purred as he sauntered toward her, "haven't you made this offer before?" His hand slid around her waist and pulled her against him. "Or do you think that now you're below me it doesn't matter anymore?"

Their eyes collided in a stormy demand for conquest, hers to have him for just one more moment and his to win her heart. As they visually sparred, and she felt her heart breaking from the truth hidden among a lie, she reacted and her hand connected with his face. He stared at her in disbelief before he picked her up and carried her, struggling, back to the car. She was deposited on the trunk with him between her knees and his hand pulled her head back by her hair.

"No one hits me," he growled. "Do you understand me? No one. Not anymore."

"I know, I'm sorry, Spike. Please."

"If it was anyone but you, I would have hit them back." His eyes moved over her body, still covered by panties, bra and her unbuttoned shirt. "But maybe I'll just take you up on your pity offer and relieve some frustration that way."

She whimpered as she slid toward him and his hand covered her breast. Almost a year they had denied themselves this pleasure. He had other women in his life, she knew that, but she hadn't been with anyone else. None of the boys she had dated had come close to making her feel the way he could with just a glance across a hallway and she wouldn't hurt herself by settling.

With a final glance into each other's eyes their lips met in a vicious battle of wills. There was no gentle coaxing but lips and tongues trying to dominate each other with the most pleasure. Cool air danced across her breasts as he undid her bra and she took his hand and led him to her aching flesh. Her sobs of pain turned to cries for more as he suckled at her neck, leaning her downwards until her back hit the metal of the car.

Automatically her legs wrapped around him and a groan was rendered as his erection pressed against the apex of her thighs. Nothing mattered anymore but how he was making her feel again. The coldness of these past few days disappeared as her body went into heated overload and his mouth finally clasped her nipple between his lips. The whole world disappeared as she rubbed herself against him, creating an aching vortex that only he could satisfy.

Just as she reached the point of begging for him, everything changed.

"I love you, Buffy, oh God I love you," he moaned as his mouth moved down her stomach and his fingers caught the waistband of her panties.

"No, no, stop, damn it, stop," she begged as she pushed him away. In a meager attempt at modesty she pulled her shirt around her. Through her tears she finally looked up at him, standing only inches away but miles divided them, those eyes she had wanted to drown in were filled with so much pain. "I can't do this."

"Can't or won't," he rasped out as his own tears started to fall.

"Can't, I won't hurt you with promises of things that…give you things you can't keep."

He laughed. "Who said I wanted to keep it?"

It was a way to protect himself but it ripped her fragile ego even further as she slid off the trunk and began to gather her shoes and pants.

"I guess I was the fool who believed you when you said you loved me."

Tears slid silently down her face. There was nothing left. The last precious thing in the world was taken from her because she couldn't give him what he wanted, her body, or what he needed, her heart. The devastation showed on her face as she fastened her bra and began to do up the buttons on her blouse.

Suddenly he was there, his hands covering hers.

"I know you don't love me but you've always made me feel like a man. More than I ever thought I could be. You're hurting and the 'hold me' vibes have been rolling off of you tonight thicker than molasses. Let me give something back."

He took her jeans and shoes, only to drop them on the ground, before pulling her toward the car. Their eyes didn't break contact until he turned them so she could get in the car first.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered in one last effort to protect him from the damage that she was.

"It's my choice," he answered as he pulled his t-shirt over his head while he kicked his shoes off.

With steady hands she slipped her shirt and bra off leaving them in a pile on the ground before sliding into the backseat. He followed her and this time it was slow and sweet as he made her feel real again and gave her his dreams of who she was. His love flowed over her as surely as his hands and mouth did. He filled her and moved in her as she clung to him with everything she had. She held nothing back, letting her body tell him of what her voice never could, pretending that this could be real for them.

As she came, tears flowed from them both as he rocked himself toward his, and they held each other with regrets that they couldn't have made it last forever. They both knew it would probably be the last time they would ever touch like this.

When they finally separated he got out of the car, pulled his jeans on and grabbed the rest of their clothes, bringing them back into the car with him. As she slowly dressed he huddled by the door, smoking a cigarette, the hurt was hanging heavy around him. And she didn't know what to say to him to make it better. The only thing she knew was the one thing she couldn't. As she moved to climb into the front seat with him, she pulled his duster off the back of the seat and an envelope floated to the floor.

"What's this?"

He tried to snatch it from her but she pulled back as she turned it over. It was from UCLA.

"You got accepted, didn't you? Everything is set for you to go and you weren't going to tell me. Were you?"

"Only if you come with me."

She climbed over the seat and sitting with her legs drawn up, she faced him with his hand in hers.

"I can't Spike, seriously I can't."

"Why?" His voice was so forlorn and lost, that he broke her heart even more. "I can't do it without you."

"Yes, you can. You have to. One of us has to get out of here so that one of us makes it."

The cigarette was ground out before his fingers traced her face.

"Why can't you come with me?"

"I wish I could but everything's changed. I don't have the money to pay for college anymore and besides…my mom she's devastated over everything. She can't even get out of bed and I got a job after school to support us until she's better. I can't leave her and Dawn alone. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do," he smiled slightly. "No matter what anyone says, you've never been selfish and if you didn't help your mum, I'd be really surprised."

"So, will you go? Go to college like we planned. Make something of yourself. Please?"

He pulled her toward him and kissed her softly before rubbing his nose against hers.

"Yeah, I'll go. But I'm not giving up on you yet."

She laughed, tickling his face with the sound, "Friends don't give up on each other."

They kissed again, letting it linger for awhile, their tongues playing softly as they held onto the moment as long as possible.

"I don't know who I'll miss more." She whispered as she cuddled into him. "You or Mr. Gordo, the two of you have always been there for me."

"That arrogant pig? The one who doesn't understand why you waste your time on me, pig? Please," he teased until he saw she was serious. "What happened to Mr. Gordo?"

"He's still in the house. They say we can get the personal non-valuable stuff out when they are done but I miss him and Dawn's been crying for Mr. Lido the lamb."

A decision was made as he thought of her sister crying for a small stuffed animal because if she was then Buffy probably was too. He picked her up and moved her to the other side of the car so he could slide under the wheel.

"Did we get everything?" He asked as he started the car.

Buffy quickly scanned the outside and nodded. "Where are we going?"

"To rescue the hostages," he told her solemnly as he pulled out onto the road. "Mr. Gordo and Mr. Lido need to be home with their mothers.

Buffy laughed and knew if she hadn't loved him before, she did now. A rush of adrenaline coursed through her and she pointed down the highway, "Up, up and away."

TBC