Chapter 6 – Sweet Umbrage

It was Friday night and it was one of the best nights of Spike's life, following one of the best weeks of his life. And it was all because of Buffy Summers. Since the night he had picked her up from her job they had practically been inseparable. He was giving her rides to school and then back in the afternoons or straight to her job. And every free moment they had from school and work they were together. Sometimes they were studying for the finals coming up, or playing board games with Dawn, or his favorite, the afternoon that neither of them had to work but his Mum did, and they ended up spending it in his bed.

Once he had found out that he had been her only lover, he had become possessive and for some reason she was letting him. But it was only allowed if it was done by deed and not by words. Any attempt he had made at declaring his love or putting an agreement on their relationship was quickly met with disapproval and she seemed to slip away from him. So, he kept his mouth shut for now and just tried to enjoy what she was giving him. It had to be leading them to the obvious conclusion. Hence her not minding everyone at school seeing them together, or when he took or picked her up from work and if nothing else then her acceptance to have dinner with him at a popular steak house in town where they knew half the patrons and staff. He had been terrified when he had asked her last night but she had agreed easily.

So, now he sat with her mother and sister making small talk while she got ready to go out with him. She had been late coming home from work because they had a rush at the last minute and she had to stay and help out. As Dawn gave a monologue on her friends, he tried to pay attention but his mind kept drifting.

He was elbow deep into the car when he had heard someone drive around the back of the trailer and he peeked out from under the hood. It was Buffy stepping out of her little convertible looking totally feminine in a long pink skirt and a sweater that was only a little darker. Her hair was curled and pulled back with barrettes and he wondered what it was with her and pink. Rolling his eyes he returned to his task, knowing that she would bounce his way when she was ready. Every once in a while she would come out to visit on the weekends and either drag him down to the dock or sit on the picnic table and watch him work on the car, which she was doing now.

"I'm bored," she announced after taking a long drink from the Big Gulp cup she had brought with her. "Everything is the same and everybody is doing it."

"Sorry, Pet, that the royal kingdom is not doing your bidding by coming up with something original for you to do."

"Hardy har har."

When he glanced out at her she had her nose wrinkled and he couldn't help himself. If she was hanging out with him for a thrill then she might as well get the full effect.

"The bag beside you, bring it here, please."

Buffy turned to find it and looked it over carefully to make sure that it didn't have grease on it, then picked it between forefinger and thumb and stepped carefully toward him.

"Here," she said holding it out to him.

"Take out one of the plugs and hand it here."

He watched from the corner of his eye as she sighed and pulled one of the little boxes out. She carefully inspected the contents before handing it to him.

"What is that thing?"

"It's a spark plug. And before you ask, I'm giving the car a tune up."

"Oh."

Grinning mischievously at her he asked, "Why don't you help out and kill some of your boredom?"

"No, I don't think so."

"You could borrow some of my clothes so you wouldn't ruin the royal wardrobe."

Without thinking she had swatted him on the shoulder as they both laughed. When she saw the grease on her fingers she had appropriately, 'eewed' and went in the trailer to wash her hands. His Mum was used to Buffy hanging around and had never said anything to him about it; he had yet to meet her parents, officially anyway, and figured he never would.

It was as she was coming toward him again that he got the idea and keeping his eyes on the engine, he had asked her.

"So, if you're bored, why don't you come out with me tonight?"

She had remained silent for a minute until he had added as friends.

"We'll go someplace that no one will know who we are and we can just have some fun. Play some pool and darts."

"I have a date," she told him quietly.

Remaining nonchalant he had shrugged his shoulders.

"Give me a drink, woman, you keep sipping on that thing and haven't offered once."

Relief that he wasn't going to push it seemed to flood through her as she held the drink out for him and watched as he sucked on the straw. He returned his attention to the car after he was done and ignored her for awhile.

"Yeah, I just need to break the date. It was just a gang of us going to the movies anyway." She said after looking contemplative for a moment. "What time and where?"

They slid across from each other into the booth as they tried to ignore the looks from people that they knew. Neither of them spoke as they perused the menus but kept glancing at each other over the top.

"So, what are you getting?" Buffy asked trying to appear casual.

"The most expensive thing on the menu," he said. She looked up at him with a slight flush on her face and he smiled. "Get what you want, Luv, I can afford it."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be…"

"Condescending? Have I ever let you down before?"

Buffy shook her head and smiled at him. With a quick glance around he reached across the table and squeezed her hand hoping she wouldn't snatch it away. She didn't and until the waitress returned with their drinks and a basket of rolls their fingers stayed entwined. They placed their orders and Spike was satisfied when she ordered a decent sized meal. Usually when they went out it didn't include meals and he won the argument of who paid for the drinks and snacks they did get. But then she'd return the favor with a small present or something for his car that she knew he needed or wanted.

"Are you ready for the Algebra exam next week?"

"Yeah, should be. Been kissing Mrs. Taylor's butt all semester and she's been giving me some extra help. She liiiiikes me." He grinned at her with an evil twist to his lips and she chuckled at his mood.

"Good, then you can help me." Buffy hesitated. "With everything going on I haven't been able to concentrate too well."

"No problem. Be glad to be on the helping end for a change."

They continued to talk about school and work and everything but the future as they ate or rather he ate and she played with her main course. She had eaten a couple of rolls and the salad but now that dinner was there she wasn't eating.

"Full?"

With her eyes on the table she told him she was but then it clicked. When she had come home from work she had brought a meal from work to give to Dawn and he had a feeling that was where the dinner before her was going to go too. Buffy had been losing weight, her already petite body was getting smaller every time he held her and her jeans tonight were almost too loose on her. Her small family was surviving on what Buffy made which couldn't be much and he looked around to find the waitress. When she came in response to his signal, he ordered two more of the meals that Buffy had picked out.

"Who are those for?"

"For your sister and Mum. If I hadn't wanted to be alone with you so much I would have invited them along."

"You didn't have to do that." She told him indignantly. "We are doing fine."

"I know you are but I'm just trying to be nice not condescending."

Relief surged through him as she chuckled.

"Okay, okay, I give up," she said as she returned her attention to her dinner and ended up finishing it completely as well as the dessert she ordered.

They had agreed to meet at the movie theater and ride in his car since they would be going out of Sunnydale for their first excursion. Spike pulled into the back row of the lot slowly looking for her car and came to a stop behind it when he spotted it. Buffy slipped out of her car and made her way toward him. His heart stopped beating for a second when he first saw her. Gone was the cotton candy girl, replaced by a beautiful, confidant woman.  Her black leather pants clung to her hips and a tight red lace crop top with long sleeves curved along the swell of her breasts. Her make up was darker than he had ever seen it and he could almost feel the drool accumulating in his mouth.

She slipped into his car like she did it all the time and gave him a huge smile from those lips painted red and he forgot how to talk. But then she giggled like the Buffy he knew and he relaxed. The ride out to the little bar he had found one night when he was carousing was alternately uncomfortable and easy between them. When they found a topic of conversation that was familiar to them it was easy and when they thought about the fact that this was the first time they were teetering on the borderline of their friendship they became nervous. Her eyes opened wide when he stopped outside the place and looked at him like he was crazy for bringing her there and he had laughed.

"You won't be bored. I promise." Spike told her as he held the door open for her.

Taking her hand he led her into the bar and within a few minutes they were setting up a game of pool and she was batting her eyes saying she didn't know how to play but she ended up beating him three games to two.

"Never played before? You lie," he teased her as she did this strange little victory dance. "Not bored are you, Pet?"

"Nope and gonna stay that way." Buffy sidled up to him and grabbed his hands. She started to pull him toward the dance floor.

"No, I don't dance."

"You do now." She was using her weight to try to move him but he wasn't budging. Spike didn't dance. That is until she stepped really close to him and looked up into his eyes and her lower lip quivered. "Please, dance with me. You don't want me to get bored do you?"

Rolling his eyes, Spike followed Buffy onto the small floor. She started to dance to the music but he just stood there and watched her for a second as he was mesmerized with her movements. Slowly with her encouragement he started to dance with her. She didn't laugh at him but started to show him moves and when she ended up in his arms during a slow song he knew he was in love with her.

The hotel room door slammed shut as Spike leaned against the car. Buffy had taken the take out boxes into her Mum and sister while he waited for her. Absently he patted his pockets with the prom tickets in it and tried to quell the butterflies in his stomach. Since the night he had first danced with her he had dreamed of taking her to prom but he had never thought it would be reality. After the last week they had shared it had to mean she cared. Buffy couldn't be sharing such intimacy with him and have it not mean anything was what he kept telling himself.

At the sound of the door opening he looked up and watched Buffy return to him. She wrapped her arms around him and tilted her head back for a kiss. Smiling with his hands on her hips he gave her what she was seeking, allowing it to deepen for a few moments but pulled back before it became too heated.

"Mmmm, thank you, for everything. I had a good time." Buffy whispered.

"Me too," he said as he kissed her forehead. "I want to ask you something."

"Yeah?" She smiled up at him and wiggled a little closer.

"Would you go to prom with me?"

"What?"

"Would you go to prom with me?" He repeated with a smile as he tried to deny the coldness in her eyes. Spike tried to pull her closer but she stepped away from him.

"I can't go to prom."

"Why not?"  A nervous laugh filled the silence as she stared in disbelief at him and for the first time Spike wondered if he had made a mistake.

"Because I can't," Buffy said as her arms crossed in front of her. "I don't have anything to wear much less the money to buy anything with. Besides I'll probably have to work because everyone with seniority will have already requested it off."

His dream was slipping away from him and Spike took a step closer to her in an attempt to hold her but once again she danced off to the side. "If you want to go, we'll find a way." He hated the desperation in his voice. Not once had he begged anyone for anything but for her he would crawl on his knees.

"Are you not listening to me? No."

"Is it because you don't want to go with me?" Spike asked. "Or what?"

"You? Why would you think that? Does it always have to come back to your insecurities?"

"Oh, come on, like you would ever plan on going to the prom much less anywhere with me that someone might see us? Gee, why should I be insecure?"

Spike clutched onto the small bit of anger that he could find, anything not to appear to be the loser he was sounding like. He closed his eyes for a moment and rolled his shoulders trying to regain some of his dignity.

"Spike, please don't do this."

"Don't what? Did you really think I'd let the biggest night of senior year just go by for you? I didn't think you'd be this upset about going with me. We've spent the last week together…dating."

Finally he put the word out there between them and wished he hadn't as her eyes opened wide and the color seemed to fade from her cheeks.

"Dating? No…no, this hasn't been dating."

"Well, what do you call it?" This time he stepped closer, resting his hands on her hips, and drew her against him. "We're together all the time." He kissed her cheek. "Making love. And if we're not dating then what do you call tonight?"

Buffy seemed to be fighting herself as she seemed to be relaxing in his arms but her eyes were wide and frantic as her fingers kneaded his arms.

"Spike, I thought you understood. This isn't dating. No, it's not dating. We're just…just."

"Just what, Baby? I love you and I thought you understand that. I thought that you were finally ready to step off your pedestal and let me love you. To give me a chance."

A tear slipped down her cheek as she looked up at him so sadly that it made his heart feel like it was going to shatter.

"And you're leaving," Buffy whispered as she stepped out of his arms again.

"We can work it out," he pleaded. "LA is only a couple of hours away. I can come up on weekends and you can visit on your days off. It might be hard but we can do it. We can be together like we've been in the last week."

She shook her head as she tried to swallow back a sob. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked up at him.

"No, we can't. I'm sorry if you misunderstood but you've built this huge fantasy on nothing more than… It was a good time. And that's all it was."

"No, it wasn't. I know you love me. When we're together, I can feel it. In the way you touch me and the way you kiss me."

Her hands frantically wiped the tears from her face as anger and frustration took their place and he knew he was losing.

"For the last time. No."

"Just give me one good reason, why not?"

His voice cracked as he asked. It was over and he knew he was just making the wounds between them bloodier but he wanted to know. Wanted to know why his whole world was crashing down around him. This was supposed to be the night. This was the night when she would step into his arms and life and promise forever but she wasn't. She was running and he wanted to hold onto her as long as possible.

"You wanna know why not? Because if we tried to make this work, I'd end up hating you. You're going off to college while I'm scraping grease off a fucking grill. I worked and sacrificed for you to go to college, well, the big joke was on me because I don't get to go with you."

"For now but you'll find a way. I now you will, Buffy. If you believed enough for me then you should believe enough for you and if you don't then I will."

Suddenly she shoved him away from her, the pain surging through her giving her enough strength to almost knock him off his feet.

"I don't believe in anything anymore. That's why I've been fucking you all week. To get what I can while I can. It doesn't mean anything because there isn't a damn thing in this world that means anything to me any more. I'm angry that you're going off to a whole new life while I'm stuck here. I hate who I've become. You're going to hate who I've become especially after you get a taste of life away from here. I'd be an embarrassment to you around the new friends you're going to make. And most of all I hate my father for doing this to me."

"Don't, please, I'd never hate you."

"Go away, Spike, its over. Go take your opportunities and have a good life. I can't deal with you anymore. Don't talk to me or call me. Just stay away from me."

She turned and walked out of his life.

"Please don't do this," he begged as she gave him one last look before closing the door. Spike slid along the side of the car until he was sitting on the pavement and the sobs overtook him. He didn't care anymore because his world had just been taken away from him.

TBC