Ch. 1
Everything Then Gone
She was sick, almost sick to the point were she was knocking on deaths door.and the only thing he could do about was hold her hand.
Rinoa had been sleeping for quite some time now, yet he hadn't left her bedside for a minute. Every moment with Rinoa was precious and Squall didn't want to miss a one.
Her hand was soft and tender within in own rough and coarse one. He gently caressed her hand with his thumb. He could hardly make himself look her in the face, it brought too many fond memories that he just couldn't face at the moment. Squall just let her presence sooth his soul, her very accents calming the storm that had moved in over his heart.
"Dammit!" He screamed knowing that the soothing calm that only Rinoa Heartilly brought wasn't to last much longer. It burned him, who the hell was given the right to play god? Who in Diablo's name decided to take Rinoa away from him!? Hadn't the two eighteen year olds been through enough?
It was just two weeks after they had gotten engaged that Rinoa had found out. Squall still felt the vivid pain of her words.
"Squall, can we please go somewhere to talk?"
He looks at her suspiciously "Is there something wrong?"
Her expression was dry "I really just want to go somewhere to talk."
Nervously Squall walked with her silently to the balcony of the floating garden. The sky was clear as crystal and the air as fresh as rain, but Squall couldn't help but to feel a foreboding feeling wash over him. Bluntly he asked his fiancée.
"Rinoa, if you want to hold off our engagement I completely understand. This is a big step and I"- Squall stopped when he saw the tears pouring from Rinoa's eyes. He watched Rinoa with concern moving in closer to her.
"Don't.don't you want to get married?"
"Squall, that's all I want in the whole world."
"Then what's wrong?"
Rinoa went quiet Squall watched as she contemplated with her own thoughts. Finally after a nerve breaking silence she said something.
"Squall.I'm sick."
"Well come on then I'll help you get into bed."
"No, Squall I'm very sick. In fact.I'm dying."
Squall stood there words not able to come out of his mouth. She couldn't be dying; she was the damn sorceress for heavens sake.
"How.how can that be? I mean shouldn't your powers stop things like that?"
"It's actually my sorceress powers that are causing my illness."
"Then get rid of them."
"To who?"
"I don't know how about Edea?"
"She's too old to take them."
"Well then how about Quistis and Selphie, hell how about any girl on the street let's just get rid of it."
"It doesn't work like that Squall you know that and even if it did I would never leave the burden on anyone else's soul."
Squall looks away from Rinoa. This couldn't be happening. After everything they've been through, after all the times they risked their lives and lived and then this?
"How come this is happening?" He asked almost mutely.
"My powers have been kind of eating away at me for the last couple of months. At first I could hardly notice it, but over time it got worse."
"How come you never told me!?" Squall protested.
"I didn't want to worry you until I was sure that it was serious."
Squall let's out a false laugh "Well it's serious."
"Please try to understand"-
"Understand what?" Squall interrupted her. "That I'm going to loose the only person that I'd ever loved, the person who means the most to me in the entire world. Oh yeah I understand completely." After his last snide remark Squall falls to his knees and whispers defeated "I understand completely."
Rinoa joins him on her knees looking him directly in the eyes he returns her stare with their eye's meeting the two collapse into each other's arms.
From out of his thoughts Squall stands up he picks up the lamp from the nightstand and throws it clear across the room watching it shatter against the wall.
From the noise Dr. Kadowaki emerges into the room looking from the destroyed lamp then to Squall.
"Sorry," was all he muttered.
"Maybe you should get some rest Mr. Leonhart." The doctor said concerned.
"I'm fine, besides I want to stay by Rinoa."
"I'll come get you as soon ass she awakes until then I advise you get some rest."
"But," Squall started but Dr. Kadowaki didn't let him finish.
"It isn't a request Mr. Leonhart that's an order."
Squall highly doubted Dr. Kadowaki had any authority over him, but simply too tired to argue Squall walked defeated out of the hospital wing.
He only took a few steps before Squall heard his name being called. Squall looked up to see Selphie and Irvine in front of him.
Selphie and Irvine both moved to Trabia soon after their victory over Ulticimia. Selphie was offered the headmistress position at the rebuilding garden. Of course she took it and without a second thought Irvine followed.
A year has gone by since and Squall hasn't seen much of either of his comrades. He and Rinoa had once paid a memorable visit to the rebuilt garden and the dynamic duo had paid a couple of their own visits to Balamb but that was it. Now they were here just as Rinoa was.Squall wasn't going to hear any of it. He walked right pass his friends without so much as a look.
He could hear Selphie squeal behind him "Squall."
Then came Irvine's Galbadian drawl "Squall man were so sorry."
Their pleads only made him walk faster, why were people always sorry? Sorry never fixed anything it was just some meaningless thing that people said.
Storming past all watching cadets and SeeD's Squall went right to his room where he collapsed, emotional lost from any reality, into his bed.
Everything going on around him was just so surreal. They had just a little more then a year together, they were just starting to plan their lives around each other.then the guardians with one swipe take everything away.
Squall puts his pillow over his head creating a false darkness. Into that pillow Squall prayed, now Squall never prayed for anything, but then again Squall never wanted something so bad in his life. He prayed when Rinoa got up everything would be alright.
Sleep was starting to overcome the young commander. Squall closed his eyes and began to drift off clinging to his prayer.
"Squall wake up. Squall come on she's up." came a female voice deep within his dreams.
Squall stood up with a start his mind was confused and tired. He was having such a good dream that it was enticing to go back and finish it, but then the woman's voice started again. Squall realized it was Quistis' voice from the other side of the door.
"Squall, Rinoa's up she's calling for you." called Quistis' voice.
He didn't waste another moment Rinoa was waiting for him. Squall raced out the door not even noticing Quistis waiting for him.
He reached the hospital wing and found it crowded with people; Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Headmaster Cid, Edea, and Quistis who just stepped in.
From within the crowd Squall could hear Rinoa's meek voice calling his name.
"Squall, where's Squall?"
He ran to her bed kneeling down beside her they were face to face. "I'm right here Rinoa, don't worry." He told her taking her hand. Rinoa smiles weakly. She lightly presses her hand against his face. Her touch was so welcoming. He closed his eyes just wanting to feel her touch.
"Squall, I love you." Rinoa's words had awakened him from his moment.
"Don't say that Rinoa," he begged it sounded so final.
"Squall I do. I love you with every ounce of my being. Do.do you love me?"
He knew she knew that he did, but she wanted to hear it.hear it one last time.
Everyone in the room was crying. Their tears all in unison with each others, but no one could quite match Squall whose tears were drowning his face.
He looked Rinoa right in her warm, almond brown eyes. Their souls at that moment reached out for each other, grasping one another in a moment that they wanted to last forever but knew it couldn't.
Through sobs Squall told the woman he loves "Rinoa you've made me happier then I ever thought I could be. You showed me light when all I could see was darkness. You made my life worth living, you made life worth risking, Rinoa you made my life."
Sobs could be heard loudly throughout the room, but Squall couldn't hear them. The only one's he heard was Rinoa's and his own.
"Rinoa Heartilly I love you more then I ever thought possible."
Moving down towards her the tragic couple kissed. A kiss filled with so many emotions that it would be impossible not to see the love and irony of it all.
Pulling away Rinoa grasped her Griever ring and after a weak sob she asked him.
"Squall promise me something." Her voice was so fragile it tore at Squall's heart.
"What?" He whispered.
"Pr.promise me.you.you'll move.on"
"I.I don't.thin. think I can .prom.promise that." Squall whimpered.
"You.you have to."
Rinoa's eyes were now beginning to flutter open and shut.
"Rinoa!" He shouted, but there was no response "Rinoa!" He repeated. Squall's heart stopped when he saw her eyes flicker open with her last amount of strength she breathed out the word.
"Promise."
But Squall was never able to make that promise. Squall was never allowed to hear her sweet voice or see her warm caring eyes again for Rinoa Heartilly, the sorceress, the daughter; the love of Squall Leonhart's life was gone.
She was sick, almost sick to the point were she was knocking on deaths door.and the only thing he could do about was hold her hand.
Rinoa had been sleeping for quite some time now, yet he hadn't left her bedside for a minute. Every moment with Rinoa was precious and Squall didn't want to miss a one.
Her hand was soft and tender within in own rough and coarse one. He gently caressed her hand with his thumb. He could hardly make himself look her in the face, it brought too many fond memories that he just couldn't face at the moment. Squall just let her presence sooth his soul, her very accents calming the storm that had moved in over his heart.
"Dammit!" He screamed knowing that the soothing calm that only Rinoa Heartilly brought wasn't to last much longer. It burned him, who the hell was given the right to play god? Who in Diablo's name decided to take Rinoa away from him!? Hadn't the two eighteen year olds been through enough?
It was just two weeks after they had gotten engaged that Rinoa had found out. Squall still felt the vivid pain of her words.
"Squall, can we please go somewhere to talk?"
He looks at her suspiciously "Is there something wrong?"
Her expression was dry "I really just want to go somewhere to talk."
Nervously Squall walked with her silently to the balcony of the floating garden. The sky was clear as crystal and the air as fresh as rain, but Squall couldn't help but to feel a foreboding feeling wash over him. Bluntly he asked his fiancée.
"Rinoa, if you want to hold off our engagement I completely understand. This is a big step and I"- Squall stopped when he saw the tears pouring from Rinoa's eyes. He watched Rinoa with concern moving in closer to her.
"Don't.don't you want to get married?"
"Squall, that's all I want in the whole world."
"Then what's wrong?"
Rinoa went quiet Squall watched as she contemplated with her own thoughts. Finally after a nerve breaking silence she said something.
"Squall.I'm sick."
"Well come on then I'll help you get into bed."
"No, Squall I'm very sick. In fact.I'm dying."
Squall stood there words not able to come out of his mouth. She couldn't be dying; she was the damn sorceress for heavens sake.
"How.how can that be? I mean shouldn't your powers stop things like that?"
"It's actually my sorceress powers that are causing my illness."
"Then get rid of them."
"To who?"
"I don't know how about Edea?"
"She's too old to take them."
"Well then how about Quistis and Selphie, hell how about any girl on the street let's just get rid of it."
"It doesn't work like that Squall you know that and even if it did I would never leave the burden on anyone else's soul."
Squall looks away from Rinoa. This couldn't be happening. After everything they've been through, after all the times they risked their lives and lived and then this?
"How come this is happening?" He asked almost mutely.
"My powers have been kind of eating away at me for the last couple of months. At first I could hardly notice it, but over time it got worse."
"How come you never told me!?" Squall protested.
"I didn't want to worry you until I was sure that it was serious."
Squall let's out a false laugh "Well it's serious."
"Please try to understand"-
"Understand what?" Squall interrupted her. "That I'm going to loose the only person that I'd ever loved, the person who means the most to me in the entire world. Oh yeah I understand completely." After his last snide remark Squall falls to his knees and whispers defeated "I understand completely."
Rinoa joins him on her knees looking him directly in the eyes he returns her stare with their eye's meeting the two collapse into each other's arms.
From out of his thoughts Squall stands up he picks up the lamp from the nightstand and throws it clear across the room watching it shatter against the wall.
From the noise Dr. Kadowaki emerges into the room looking from the destroyed lamp then to Squall.
"Sorry," was all he muttered.
"Maybe you should get some rest Mr. Leonhart." The doctor said concerned.
"I'm fine, besides I want to stay by Rinoa."
"I'll come get you as soon ass she awakes until then I advise you get some rest."
"But," Squall started but Dr. Kadowaki didn't let him finish.
"It isn't a request Mr. Leonhart that's an order."
Squall highly doubted Dr. Kadowaki had any authority over him, but simply too tired to argue Squall walked defeated out of the hospital wing.
He only took a few steps before Squall heard his name being called. Squall looked up to see Selphie and Irvine in front of him.
Selphie and Irvine both moved to Trabia soon after their victory over Ulticimia. Selphie was offered the headmistress position at the rebuilding garden. Of course she took it and without a second thought Irvine followed.
A year has gone by since and Squall hasn't seen much of either of his comrades. He and Rinoa had once paid a memorable visit to the rebuilt garden and the dynamic duo had paid a couple of their own visits to Balamb but that was it. Now they were here just as Rinoa was.Squall wasn't going to hear any of it. He walked right pass his friends without so much as a look.
He could hear Selphie squeal behind him "Squall."
Then came Irvine's Galbadian drawl "Squall man were so sorry."
Their pleads only made him walk faster, why were people always sorry? Sorry never fixed anything it was just some meaningless thing that people said.
Storming past all watching cadets and SeeD's Squall went right to his room where he collapsed, emotional lost from any reality, into his bed.
Everything going on around him was just so surreal. They had just a little more then a year together, they were just starting to plan their lives around each other.then the guardians with one swipe take everything away.
Squall puts his pillow over his head creating a false darkness. Into that pillow Squall prayed, now Squall never prayed for anything, but then again Squall never wanted something so bad in his life. He prayed when Rinoa got up everything would be alright.
Sleep was starting to overcome the young commander. Squall closed his eyes and began to drift off clinging to his prayer.
"Squall wake up. Squall come on she's up." came a female voice deep within his dreams.
Squall stood up with a start his mind was confused and tired. He was having such a good dream that it was enticing to go back and finish it, but then the woman's voice started again. Squall realized it was Quistis' voice from the other side of the door.
"Squall, Rinoa's up she's calling for you." called Quistis' voice.
He didn't waste another moment Rinoa was waiting for him. Squall raced out the door not even noticing Quistis waiting for him.
He reached the hospital wing and found it crowded with people; Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Headmaster Cid, Edea, and Quistis who just stepped in.
From within the crowd Squall could hear Rinoa's meek voice calling his name.
"Squall, where's Squall?"
He ran to her bed kneeling down beside her they were face to face. "I'm right here Rinoa, don't worry." He told her taking her hand. Rinoa smiles weakly. She lightly presses her hand against his face. Her touch was so welcoming. He closed his eyes just wanting to feel her touch.
"Squall, I love you." Rinoa's words had awakened him from his moment.
"Don't say that Rinoa," he begged it sounded so final.
"Squall I do. I love you with every ounce of my being. Do.do you love me?"
He knew she knew that he did, but she wanted to hear it.hear it one last time.
Everyone in the room was crying. Their tears all in unison with each others, but no one could quite match Squall whose tears were drowning his face.
He looked Rinoa right in her warm, almond brown eyes. Their souls at that moment reached out for each other, grasping one another in a moment that they wanted to last forever but knew it couldn't.
Through sobs Squall told the woman he loves "Rinoa you've made me happier then I ever thought I could be. You showed me light when all I could see was darkness. You made my life worth living, you made life worth risking, Rinoa you made my life."
Sobs could be heard loudly throughout the room, but Squall couldn't hear them. The only one's he heard was Rinoa's and his own.
"Rinoa Heartilly I love you more then I ever thought possible."
Moving down towards her the tragic couple kissed. A kiss filled with so many emotions that it would be impossible not to see the love and irony of it all.
Pulling away Rinoa grasped her Griever ring and after a weak sob she asked him.
"Squall promise me something." Her voice was so fragile it tore at Squall's heart.
"What?" He whispered.
"Pr.promise me.you.you'll move.on"
"I.I don't.thin. think I can .prom.promise that." Squall whimpered.
"You.you have to."
Rinoa's eyes were now beginning to flutter open and shut.
"Rinoa!" He shouted, but there was no response "Rinoa!" He repeated. Squall's heart stopped when he saw her eyes flicker open with her last amount of strength she breathed out the word.
"Promise."
But Squall was never able to make that promise. Squall was never allowed to hear her sweet voice or see her warm caring eyes again for Rinoa Heartilly, the sorceress, the daughter; the love of Squall Leonhart's life was gone.