Ch. 15
Keeping Promises
The next few weeks were some of the most miserable weeks in the sad history of Squall Leonhart's pathetic life. It had become hard for him to even perform the simplest of tasks. He was sure his friends noticed his changed, but they never said anything, just another effect that his charming personality caused. He made his friends want to not even talk to him.
Squall spent his days locked in his office. He wasn't doing any work, but at least it made it appear as if he was.
On one unexpected day Cid paid him a visit. They talked about the current events that were going on within the garden. Squall was ashamed to hear that Cid knew more of what was going on in the garden then he did.
Cid was concerned about him there was no denying it. Through out their conversations he kept hinting at it. Cid was never exactly the master at hiding his emotions.
When the old headmaster was about to leave he looked at Squall, and in a tone that Squall wouldn't ever forget, he said to him.
"I don't know what happened to you Squall. Just a few months ago you were so full of life again. I thought you had finally come around to being the man that we all knew you could be.the one you were with Rinoa. What happened Squall?"
Cid didn't wait for Squall to answer, when that answer never came without another gesture Cid left his office.
Squall, however, did know what happened. Back then Emma was in his life. He hadn't realized it until now. It was kind of startling, but it was the truth. Emma was what made the difference.
Repeating the phrase that he kept saying to himself 'it's for the best,' Squall left his office with gunblade in hand and made his way to the training center.
A few nights later after Cid's visit Squall heard a knock on his dorm room door. Squall was snuggled in his covers sound asleep when the drum of a fist against the door woke him up.
Regrettably Squall crawled from his bed and stumbled to the door. He found Seifer to be the owner of the late night knock.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He mumbled sleepily rubbing his fist against his eyes in effort to keep them awake.
"Can we take a walk?"
"Why in the name of Diablo would we go for a walk at," Squall looks over at the clock in his room. "At 3:00 a.m. in the morning?"
"Just come on." Seifer persisted.
Too tired to complain Squall grabbed his brown leather jacket and followed Seifer out of the room.
Seifer led him through the quiet garden halls and to the only area that would permit them at this time of night-the training center.
They walked through the forest not stopping once to listen for any unwanted creatures. Actually Seifer didn't stop until they reached the 'secret area.'
The two of them leaned against the railing of the area, just like Quistis and he had only a couple of years ago. Seifer didn't say anything so neither did Squall. They just looked at the view-which was gorgeous as ever.
Squall surprised himself when out from no where he said to Seifer. "Your girlfriend brought me here once." Seifer looked at him which made Squall frown. "It was nothing like that;" he tried to explain "she had just lost her instructor license and wanted someone to talk to. Needless to say I wasn't the best of company."
"She should have never lost her license." Seifer told him. "She was a fantastic instructor. It was my fault for always giving her such a hard time."
Squall shrugs. "But look at all that happened after. Sometimes things just work out for the best."
Seifer gives Squall a funny look. "I never thought I hear you say that things work out for the best that's so uncharacteristically optimistic of you."
"I said 'sometimes.'" Squall reminded him.
The two continue to look out into the view. Seifer keeping his eyes focused into the distance says to Squall.
"I know about you and Emma Squall." Squall looks at Seifer trying hard to keep the surprise from his face. "You didn't have to hide it."
"There was nothing to hide."
"That's bullshit Squall and you know it." Now Seifer's gaze was on him. Squall looked away from his friend resenting him for cornering him like this.
"It's complicated Seifer. It wasn't like it was with Rinoa."
"Rinoa's dead Squall!"
His words rang out so brutally that Squall had to take a step back. Squall's eyes were now staring sternly at Seifer's.
"Don't you think I fucking know that!?" Squall shouted at him. "Everyday in my heart I'm reminded of the loss.that's why it's so hard. I feel like I'm committing adultery."
"Rinoa's dead Squall." Seifer repeated only this time sympathetically.
"It's not the physical kind of adultery," he told Seifer. "It's like I'm committing adultery to my heart."
Seifer was quiet for a moment as if contemplating something. Out from his silence he asks Squall.
"Do you love her?"
Love her? Squall had thought about it, but he had yet to really consider it. What was it like to love again? Squall wasn't planning on ever having to deal with it, but like the first time around it had hit him like a ton of bricks and it left Squall unsure of what to do.
"Do you or don't you?" Seifer asked him his voice getting angry. Squall remained silent.
"You know when I saw Emma again I almost didn't recognize her. She looked exactly the same except for one thing. Her eyes glowed with a brilliance that made you stop and just stare at them. You know what made her eyes glow like that.love. She had only said 'where's Squall' to me, but from those two words I saw the love she felt for you. What she felt for me doesn't even compare to what she feels for you. Not one word had to be exchanged for me to realize that."
Squall stood there not knowing what to say. With Squall being mute Seifer took the chance to continue. "I had only seen that look of love once before and that was on you Squall."
Squall thought of all the times Seifer had seen him with Rinoa. There hadn't been that many.
"It was right after the first time you came back from Timber. I saw it right away, I just didn't say anything."
Squall stared at Seifer. His heart was turning in that way that was becoming so familiar, and his head was spinning so uncontrollable it became a struggle just to stand.
Meanwhile Seifer started to walk away, but he stopped at the areas entranced and turned to Squall.
"Why do you always fall for the one's I've already been with?" With a smirk on his face Seifer left Squall alone with nothing to do, but think.
He sat in the 'secret area' till day break. All the while, despite how much he tried, he just couldn't get that guilty feeling to go away.
It had been a long night of mental torment. The emotional trauma soon made it difficult to stay awake. His eyelids were becoming as heavy as bricks and as much as he tried to fight it, the dark eventually consumed him.
* * *
The smell of fresh flowers lightened his heart. Startled by the sweet smell Squall quickly looked around his surroundings, he was surprised to discover he was at Edea's orphanage, back when it was in rambles.
Squall stepped by a few piles of rocks making his way towards the flower field.
This place never zest to amaze him. The flowers a collage of colors, all of them so warm and bright. It was the type of sight that could take your breathe away.
Squall had only looked a little further down the field when he saw a sight that really did take his breathe away.
Rinoa stood twenty feet in front of him. She was wearing that baby blue outfit that he had grown to adore. Squall could only stand there dumbly as he stared at her incredulously.
"Impossible." He whispered to himself.
Rinoa slowly began to walk towards him. Her every step was like a graceful dance. Squall unbearably wanted to run to her, but his feet wouldn't move. It was like his whole body went rigid from the sight of her figure.
When she approached him Squall almost fainted, and had to use every ounce of his strength just to stay conscious.
"Hey Squall," her voice sang. She smiled at him so radiantly that Squall had to pinch himself to make sure all this was real. When he felt the tinge of pain from his fingers he gathered himself just enough to regain control of his voice, he whispered to her.
"Rinoa, are you really there?"
She gave him a weak smile then laid her hand against his cheek. Squall could feel the warmth from her smooth, soft hands. He set his own hand against her face feeling her silky skin against his fingers.
Tears began to roll down his eyes, but Squall didn't care. He moved closer towards her and without another thought pressed his lips against hers. Squall could feel Rinoa kiss back, indescribable passion swept through his entire body, as for that one moment their souls were reunited.
They stayed that way for awhile, but it felt like seconds. When he felt Rinoa hesitate and pull away from their kiss he grabbed her by the shoulders and cried out desperately to her.
"You're not leaving Rinoa! Not again!"
With tears in her eyes she looks up at Squall lovingly.
"Things are the way they are, despite how much how much I want to change them the fact remains."
"Then what are you doing here Rinoa? Is this just some cruel trick to torture my already tortured soul?"
"Squall I know you loved me. You don't have to go on the way you have."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'lovED'?" Squall made sure to emphasize the pass tense part of the word that he never spoken to another soul.
"You know Squall you never promised me that you would move on. I need you to promise me that right now." "Rinoa, I couldn't make it then what in the hell makes you think that I could make it now?"
Rinoa leans over to him kissing him ever so softly on the forehead. "Because you can now."
Squall watches helplessly as Rinoa starts taking steps backwards, her image slowly fading away. Squall wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and never ever let go, but for some reason he stayed put.
"I love you." She said to him, her voice echoing throughout the flower field.
In return Squall mouthed the words to her. "I.I promise." His voice didn't carry, but somehow the words did. Rinoa nodded and gave him one last smile that even as her figure faded her smile never did, it was etched in his heart forever.
* * *
Squall awoke with a start; he shook his head in effort to regain himself. Rinoa.the effect she had on him never stopped surprising him.
Squall jumped up from the ground with a burst of energy he couldn't explain. He sprinted out of the training center bumping into Zell on his way.
Zell called after him.
"Where the hell are you going!?"
Still running Squall yelled back. "Going to keep a promise!"
Keeping Promises
The next few weeks were some of the most miserable weeks in the sad history of Squall Leonhart's pathetic life. It had become hard for him to even perform the simplest of tasks. He was sure his friends noticed his changed, but they never said anything, just another effect that his charming personality caused. He made his friends want to not even talk to him.
Squall spent his days locked in his office. He wasn't doing any work, but at least it made it appear as if he was.
On one unexpected day Cid paid him a visit. They talked about the current events that were going on within the garden. Squall was ashamed to hear that Cid knew more of what was going on in the garden then he did.
Cid was concerned about him there was no denying it. Through out their conversations he kept hinting at it. Cid was never exactly the master at hiding his emotions.
When the old headmaster was about to leave he looked at Squall, and in a tone that Squall wouldn't ever forget, he said to him.
"I don't know what happened to you Squall. Just a few months ago you were so full of life again. I thought you had finally come around to being the man that we all knew you could be.the one you were with Rinoa. What happened Squall?"
Cid didn't wait for Squall to answer, when that answer never came without another gesture Cid left his office.
Squall, however, did know what happened. Back then Emma was in his life. He hadn't realized it until now. It was kind of startling, but it was the truth. Emma was what made the difference.
Repeating the phrase that he kept saying to himself 'it's for the best,' Squall left his office with gunblade in hand and made his way to the training center.
A few nights later after Cid's visit Squall heard a knock on his dorm room door. Squall was snuggled in his covers sound asleep when the drum of a fist against the door woke him up.
Regrettably Squall crawled from his bed and stumbled to the door. He found Seifer to be the owner of the late night knock.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He mumbled sleepily rubbing his fist against his eyes in effort to keep them awake.
"Can we take a walk?"
"Why in the name of Diablo would we go for a walk at," Squall looks over at the clock in his room. "At 3:00 a.m. in the morning?"
"Just come on." Seifer persisted.
Too tired to complain Squall grabbed his brown leather jacket and followed Seifer out of the room.
Seifer led him through the quiet garden halls and to the only area that would permit them at this time of night-the training center.
They walked through the forest not stopping once to listen for any unwanted creatures. Actually Seifer didn't stop until they reached the 'secret area.'
The two of them leaned against the railing of the area, just like Quistis and he had only a couple of years ago. Seifer didn't say anything so neither did Squall. They just looked at the view-which was gorgeous as ever.
Squall surprised himself when out from no where he said to Seifer. "Your girlfriend brought me here once." Seifer looked at him which made Squall frown. "It was nothing like that;" he tried to explain "she had just lost her instructor license and wanted someone to talk to. Needless to say I wasn't the best of company."
"She should have never lost her license." Seifer told him. "She was a fantastic instructor. It was my fault for always giving her such a hard time."
Squall shrugs. "But look at all that happened after. Sometimes things just work out for the best."
Seifer gives Squall a funny look. "I never thought I hear you say that things work out for the best that's so uncharacteristically optimistic of you."
"I said 'sometimes.'" Squall reminded him.
The two continue to look out into the view. Seifer keeping his eyes focused into the distance says to Squall.
"I know about you and Emma Squall." Squall looks at Seifer trying hard to keep the surprise from his face. "You didn't have to hide it."
"There was nothing to hide."
"That's bullshit Squall and you know it." Now Seifer's gaze was on him. Squall looked away from his friend resenting him for cornering him like this.
"It's complicated Seifer. It wasn't like it was with Rinoa."
"Rinoa's dead Squall!"
His words rang out so brutally that Squall had to take a step back. Squall's eyes were now staring sternly at Seifer's.
"Don't you think I fucking know that!?" Squall shouted at him. "Everyday in my heart I'm reminded of the loss.that's why it's so hard. I feel like I'm committing adultery."
"Rinoa's dead Squall." Seifer repeated only this time sympathetically.
"It's not the physical kind of adultery," he told Seifer. "It's like I'm committing adultery to my heart."
Seifer was quiet for a moment as if contemplating something. Out from his silence he asks Squall.
"Do you love her?"
Love her? Squall had thought about it, but he had yet to really consider it. What was it like to love again? Squall wasn't planning on ever having to deal with it, but like the first time around it had hit him like a ton of bricks and it left Squall unsure of what to do.
"Do you or don't you?" Seifer asked him his voice getting angry. Squall remained silent.
"You know when I saw Emma again I almost didn't recognize her. She looked exactly the same except for one thing. Her eyes glowed with a brilliance that made you stop and just stare at them. You know what made her eyes glow like that.love. She had only said 'where's Squall' to me, but from those two words I saw the love she felt for you. What she felt for me doesn't even compare to what she feels for you. Not one word had to be exchanged for me to realize that."
Squall stood there not knowing what to say. With Squall being mute Seifer took the chance to continue. "I had only seen that look of love once before and that was on you Squall."
Squall thought of all the times Seifer had seen him with Rinoa. There hadn't been that many.
"It was right after the first time you came back from Timber. I saw it right away, I just didn't say anything."
Squall stared at Seifer. His heart was turning in that way that was becoming so familiar, and his head was spinning so uncontrollable it became a struggle just to stand.
Meanwhile Seifer started to walk away, but he stopped at the areas entranced and turned to Squall.
"Why do you always fall for the one's I've already been with?" With a smirk on his face Seifer left Squall alone with nothing to do, but think.
He sat in the 'secret area' till day break. All the while, despite how much he tried, he just couldn't get that guilty feeling to go away.
It had been a long night of mental torment. The emotional trauma soon made it difficult to stay awake. His eyelids were becoming as heavy as bricks and as much as he tried to fight it, the dark eventually consumed him.
* * *
The smell of fresh flowers lightened his heart. Startled by the sweet smell Squall quickly looked around his surroundings, he was surprised to discover he was at Edea's orphanage, back when it was in rambles.
Squall stepped by a few piles of rocks making his way towards the flower field.
This place never zest to amaze him. The flowers a collage of colors, all of them so warm and bright. It was the type of sight that could take your breathe away.
Squall had only looked a little further down the field when he saw a sight that really did take his breathe away.
Rinoa stood twenty feet in front of him. She was wearing that baby blue outfit that he had grown to adore. Squall could only stand there dumbly as he stared at her incredulously.
"Impossible." He whispered to himself.
Rinoa slowly began to walk towards him. Her every step was like a graceful dance. Squall unbearably wanted to run to her, but his feet wouldn't move. It was like his whole body went rigid from the sight of her figure.
When she approached him Squall almost fainted, and had to use every ounce of his strength just to stay conscious.
"Hey Squall," her voice sang. She smiled at him so radiantly that Squall had to pinch himself to make sure all this was real. When he felt the tinge of pain from his fingers he gathered himself just enough to regain control of his voice, he whispered to her.
"Rinoa, are you really there?"
She gave him a weak smile then laid her hand against his cheek. Squall could feel the warmth from her smooth, soft hands. He set his own hand against her face feeling her silky skin against his fingers.
Tears began to roll down his eyes, but Squall didn't care. He moved closer towards her and without another thought pressed his lips against hers. Squall could feel Rinoa kiss back, indescribable passion swept through his entire body, as for that one moment their souls were reunited.
They stayed that way for awhile, but it felt like seconds. When he felt Rinoa hesitate and pull away from their kiss he grabbed her by the shoulders and cried out desperately to her.
"You're not leaving Rinoa! Not again!"
With tears in her eyes she looks up at Squall lovingly.
"Things are the way they are, despite how much how much I want to change them the fact remains."
"Then what are you doing here Rinoa? Is this just some cruel trick to torture my already tortured soul?"
"Squall I know you loved me. You don't have to go on the way you have."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'lovED'?" Squall made sure to emphasize the pass tense part of the word that he never spoken to another soul.
"You know Squall you never promised me that you would move on. I need you to promise me that right now." "Rinoa, I couldn't make it then what in the hell makes you think that I could make it now?"
Rinoa leans over to him kissing him ever so softly on the forehead. "Because you can now."
Squall watches helplessly as Rinoa starts taking steps backwards, her image slowly fading away. Squall wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and never ever let go, but for some reason he stayed put.
"I love you." She said to him, her voice echoing throughout the flower field.
In return Squall mouthed the words to her. "I.I promise." His voice didn't carry, but somehow the words did. Rinoa nodded and gave him one last smile that even as her figure faded her smile never did, it was etched in his heart forever.
* * *
Squall awoke with a start; he shook his head in effort to regain himself. Rinoa.the effect she had on him never stopped surprising him.
Squall jumped up from the ground with a burst of energy he couldn't explain. He sprinted out of the training center bumping into Zell on his way.
Zell called after him.
"Where the hell are you going!?"
Still running Squall yelled back. "Going to keep a promise!"