I am very tired. And megh. I have just woken up, kinda. My coooooosin woke
me upe cos id fallen aslpeep just before the chess parrt. Aaah. If give in.
laura, writren erfor rme…
She's very tired…she's sorry she brought this upon you my boy, she's sorry for everything….
I don't own starbucks….
* * * * * * * * * * * *
By some small miracle, the fellowship started, again, on their quest, leaving Elrond by the lake. The Elf-lord seemed none the worse for his 'experience' and was wearing Aragorn's clothes, forcing Aragorn to wear Merry's spare set of trousers and shirt. Legolas had to admit, hobbit clothes made a rather fetching outfit of shorts and crop-top for a grown Man. Aragorn looked down at his exposed midriff.
"I don't see why I should wear this." Legolas patted his shoulder. (What a nice shoulder. What's its name?)
"Because he's an elf-lord. And your foster father. And your father-in-law… look on the bright side, he could have made you wear the dress." Aragorn just humphed, and trekked on ahead. It was hard to look important in the Middle-Earth equivalent of cycling shorts.
Boromir had decided to walk next to Legolas, and was humming a tune to himself. Legolas, being an elf and having an ear for music, politely enquired what tune it was.
"What the hell is that noise? I've heard more tuneful cave trolls!" Boromir smiled proudly.
"It's my new song; Three arrows and counting." Legolas sighed in despair and rolled his eyes.
Orlando walked hand-in-hand with Elijah, blissfully unaware of anything around them. Merry, Pippin and Frodo followed Legolas and Boromir, intently watching the elf walk. Sam walked next to Orlando, shooting him wistful looks. Sean was walking next to Aragorn, laughing at him. Billy and Dominic followed them all, Dominic trying desperately not to convince Billy to do the tongue thing, and Billy trying desperately not to do it.
Aragorn looked round confused, as the fellowship trudged through thick woods. He had been through these woods a hundred times in his 90 years (yes, he is that old) and he knew that these trees weren't this close before. He heard a yelp as a hobbit was hit by a tree branch that had been carelessly swung back into him. Legolas appeared next to him, glanced down at his outfit and giggled.
"Aragorn, something's going on…" He dissolved into giggles, snorted and then managed to stop laughing long enough to finish his sentence. "Something's going on. I don't like this… I keep expecting something to happen." Legolas looked around, and then burst into giggles again.
Legolas had every reason to be concerned (and laughing hysterically). A few hours later as the duck settled… er dusk settled, the fellowship stepped, stumbled, fell and skipped their way from between the trees… onto a snow covered mountainous landscape. They stared at it blankly for about five minutes, then turned round to look at the forest only to discover it had vanished.
"Well." Aragorn said, suddenly painfully aware of his rather severe lack of warm clothes. "300 miles off our journey. Yay." He shivered. Legolas shielded his eyes from the sun (and Aragorn's chest) and peered up the mountain.
"I see something… a building." He looked round at the others, who had shuffled together to keep warm, like penguins. Boromir had Aragorn cuddled up to his chest, with his cloak wrapped around both of them. Legolas raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"We…we'd better… go then." Aragorn said, teeth chattering in the freezing cold.
The building had turned out to be more than just a hut, like the hobbits, elf and men suspected. In fact, only the Things knew exactly what it was.
"It's a ski resort." Orlando said, to Legolas, Boromir and the hobbits. Aragorn was a shivering heap, wrapped in Boromir's cloak. "Its where… okay, skiing is where you strap two long, thin boards on your feet and slide down a hill…" The others gave him a blank look. "It's really big where I come from. Really, its great fun."
"So, a ski resort is…" Boromir raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Is where you stay when you're not skiing…" The others looked at each other, then back at Orlando. "Its fun. You'll like it…"
"We are n… not skiing." Aragorn snapped, as they started forward again. "We don't have time." Orlando, Billy and Dominic pouted (a faint thud was heard as Laura fainted again).
"Hey, they have a gift shop!" Sean ran up, and peered into a window, above which was written 'Caradhras Ski Resort! Last Avalanche: 3years 27days 10hours.' The fellowship regarded this, a little worried.
"Maybe they sell clothes!" Aragorn flung open the doors, winced at the draught, and stepped inside. The rest of the fellowship shared exasperated glances and followed him inside (Billy, Dominic and Orlando are still pouting, and Laura is still unconscious).
As it turned out, the only clothes they sold were large anoraks, dubbed by Orli as 'flasher coats', novelty socks (both of which had 'I've been to Caradhras… AND SURVIVED!' written on them) and brown leather open toe sandals. Since Aragorn had only Merry's clothes, he had to settle with these. (Sandals and socks… EW) Merry and Pippin had bought naughty type keyrings (the elves at the counter accepted anything that might be money in any known or unknown culture. The fellowship in total spent several handfuls of rocks, leaves, Pippin's scarf, parts of Legolas' hair (to which the elf had protested loudly) and Boromir's fascinating collection of birds feet). All the Things bought a pen each, though Merry and Pippin had said that they could have stolen them from Elrond's Office Supply Warehouse, so Sean said that they weren't thieves like the hobbits were, so Merry slapped him, so Sean slapped him back, so Pippin slapped Sean, so Sean slapped them both, so Sam slapped Sean for insulting hobbitses, so Legolas slapped all of them and told them off for being immature so Merry and Pippin kicked Legolas in the shins and stuck their tongues out at him, but Legolas found that arousing so he ran off and hid behind Boromir… you get the idea. Elijah and Orlando had bought each other mountain shaped lollipops, and kept licking each others…. Er, lollipops. (Oooooooh.) Dominic was sucking (Laura has fainted again) a more normal shaped lollipop, and Billy was watching him with a look of barely contained lust and kept licking his lips, desperately trying not to do the tongue thing. Boromir and Legolas didn't buy anything. Legolas was fondling his now slightly shorter hair, and pouting sulkily at the injustice of it all (author faints………………hi Laura…………………………… Kay, I'm back) and Boromir was resting his hands on the elf's shoulders, massaging slightly, whilst walking just slightly behind him.
"Perhaps we should stay here tonight." Aragorn suggested whilst frowning at the bottom of his coat, which came just above his ankles, showing off his Caradhras socks and hairy legs.
"Really? We can stay?" Billy and Dominic looked pleased. Aragorn looked over at Legolas and Boromir and frowned.
"Yeah, we'll stay."
That evening, the fellowship lounged around the lounge of the ski resort, drinking coffee. Elijah, Orlando, Billy and Dominic were missing however, as they had seemed very eager to stay in their rooms. Legolas was talking to Boromir, ignoring Aragorn who was more than a little tipsy (and he thought no-one had noticed him slipping something a little stronger into his drink) and had been offering to show what was under his flasher coat. The hobbits were having a game of chess, and Sean was having an animated conversation with the elf behind the counter.
Suddenly, Sam noticed a figure sat alone in a corner, nursing her cup of Starbucks coffee. It was, of course, Laura, wearing her 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me' top, and huge black baggy jeans. Sam, feeling a little sorry for her, excused himself and walked over to her, fiddling with the material of his cloak nervously.
"'Scuse me miss, would you like some company?" She smiled at him.
"Thank you." Said she, and Sam sat on the seat next to her.
Frodo watched Sam talk to the girl, feeling jealously flare up somewhere inside him. The Author seemed to be having a little too much fun with his gardener. He had seen how Sam had been watching Orlando recently, and now with this girl? What was it again, Laura? Yes, someone was enjoying this way too much.
"Bet ya 3 rocks that he kisses her in under an hour." Merry said, moving the castle forward three squares.
"Bet ya 5 rocks that he kisses her after an hour." Pippin moved his knight and knocked Merry's castle off the board.
"Bet ya 10 rocks that he doesn't kiss her at all." Frodo muttered, glaring at the girl, who Sam now had his arm around.
"Hey, lookit that." Legolas nodded at Sam and Laura. Boromir looked.
"Hey, is that Sam actually talkin' to a lass, and not blushin'?" Legolas squinted.
"Yes, I believe it is." Boromir, very unsubtly, slipped his arm round Legolas' shoulders. "Its no use Boromir, I am not attracted to you." Boromir just grinned at him.
"Laura, I'm going to kiss you." Sam said, his arm around her shoulders. She smiled.
"And you seriously think I would try and stop you?" He smiled and leant forward, pressing his lips to hers.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! Samwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise!" Frodo screamed, but for some inexplicable reason, no-one heard him.
She's very tired…she's sorry she brought this upon you my boy, she's sorry for everything….
I don't own starbucks….
* * * * * * * * * * * *
By some small miracle, the fellowship started, again, on their quest, leaving Elrond by the lake. The Elf-lord seemed none the worse for his 'experience' and was wearing Aragorn's clothes, forcing Aragorn to wear Merry's spare set of trousers and shirt. Legolas had to admit, hobbit clothes made a rather fetching outfit of shorts and crop-top for a grown Man. Aragorn looked down at his exposed midriff.
"I don't see why I should wear this." Legolas patted his shoulder. (What a nice shoulder. What's its name?)
"Because he's an elf-lord. And your foster father. And your father-in-law… look on the bright side, he could have made you wear the dress." Aragorn just humphed, and trekked on ahead. It was hard to look important in the Middle-Earth equivalent of cycling shorts.
Boromir had decided to walk next to Legolas, and was humming a tune to himself. Legolas, being an elf and having an ear for music, politely enquired what tune it was.
"What the hell is that noise? I've heard more tuneful cave trolls!" Boromir smiled proudly.
"It's my new song; Three arrows and counting." Legolas sighed in despair and rolled his eyes.
Orlando walked hand-in-hand with Elijah, blissfully unaware of anything around them. Merry, Pippin and Frodo followed Legolas and Boromir, intently watching the elf walk. Sam walked next to Orlando, shooting him wistful looks. Sean was walking next to Aragorn, laughing at him. Billy and Dominic followed them all, Dominic trying desperately not to convince Billy to do the tongue thing, and Billy trying desperately not to do it.
Aragorn looked round confused, as the fellowship trudged through thick woods. He had been through these woods a hundred times in his 90 years (yes, he is that old) and he knew that these trees weren't this close before. He heard a yelp as a hobbit was hit by a tree branch that had been carelessly swung back into him. Legolas appeared next to him, glanced down at his outfit and giggled.
"Aragorn, something's going on…" He dissolved into giggles, snorted and then managed to stop laughing long enough to finish his sentence. "Something's going on. I don't like this… I keep expecting something to happen." Legolas looked around, and then burst into giggles again.
Legolas had every reason to be concerned (and laughing hysterically). A few hours later as the duck settled… er dusk settled, the fellowship stepped, stumbled, fell and skipped their way from between the trees… onto a snow covered mountainous landscape. They stared at it blankly for about five minutes, then turned round to look at the forest only to discover it had vanished.
"Well." Aragorn said, suddenly painfully aware of his rather severe lack of warm clothes. "300 miles off our journey. Yay." He shivered. Legolas shielded his eyes from the sun (and Aragorn's chest) and peered up the mountain.
"I see something… a building." He looked round at the others, who had shuffled together to keep warm, like penguins. Boromir had Aragorn cuddled up to his chest, with his cloak wrapped around both of them. Legolas raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"We…we'd better… go then." Aragorn said, teeth chattering in the freezing cold.
The building had turned out to be more than just a hut, like the hobbits, elf and men suspected. In fact, only the Things knew exactly what it was.
"It's a ski resort." Orlando said, to Legolas, Boromir and the hobbits. Aragorn was a shivering heap, wrapped in Boromir's cloak. "Its where… okay, skiing is where you strap two long, thin boards on your feet and slide down a hill…" The others gave him a blank look. "It's really big where I come from. Really, its great fun."
"So, a ski resort is…" Boromir raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Is where you stay when you're not skiing…" The others looked at each other, then back at Orlando. "Its fun. You'll like it…"
"We are n… not skiing." Aragorn snapped, as they started forward again. "We don't have time." Orlando, Billy and Dominic pouted (a faint thud was heard as Laura fainted again).
"Hey, they have a gift shop!" Sean ran up, and peered into a window, above which was written 'Caradhras Ski Resort! Last Avalanche: 3years 27days 10hours.' The fellowship regarded this, a little worried.
"Maybe they sell clothes!" Aragorn flung open the doors, winced at the draught, and stepped inside. The rest of the fellowship shared exasperated glances and followed him inside (Billy, Dominic and Orlando are still pouting, and Laura is still unconscious).
As it turned out, the only clothes they sold were large anoraks, dubbed by Orli as 'flasher coats', novelty socks (both of which had 'I've been to Caradhras… AND SURVIVED!' written on them) and brown leather open toe sandals. Since Aragorn had only Merry's clothes, he had to settle with these. (Sandals and socks… EW) Merry and Pippin had bought naughty type keyrings (the elves at the counter accepted anything that might be money in any known or unknown culture. The fellowship in total spent several handfuls of rocks, leaves, Pippin's scarf, parts of Legolas' hair (to which the elf had protested loudly) and Boromir's fascinating collection of birds feet). All the Things bought a pen each, though Merry and Pippin had said that they could have stolen them from Elrond's Office Supply Warehouse, so Sean said that they weren't thieves like the hobbits were, so Merry slapped him, so Sean slapped him back, so Pippin slapped Sean, so Sean slapped them both, so Sam slapped Sean for insulting hobbitses, so Legolas slapped all of them and told them off for being immature so Merry and Pippin kicked Legolas in the shins and stuck their tongues out at him, but Legolas found that arousing so he ran off and hid behind Boromir… you get the idea. Elijah and Orlando had bought each other mountain shaped lollipops, and kept licking each others…. Er, lollipops. (Oooooooh.) Dominic was sucking (Laura has fainted again) a more normal shaped lollipop, and Billy was watching him with a look of barely contained lust and kept licking his lips, desperately trying not to do the tongue thing. Boromir and Legolas didn't buy anything. Legolas was fondling his now slightly shorter hair, and pouting sulkily at the injustice of it all (author faints………………hi Laura…………………………… Kay, I'm back) and Boromir was resting his hands on the elf's shoulders, massaging slightly, whilst walking just slightly behind him.
"Perhaps we should stay here tonight." Aragorn suggested whilst frowning at the bottom of his coat, which came just above his ankles, showing off his Caradhras socks and hairy legs.
"Really? We can stay?" Billy and Dominic looked pleased. Aragorn looked over at Legolas and Boromir and frowned.
"Yeah, we'll stay."
That evening, the fellowship lounged around the lounge of the ski resort, drinking coffee. Elijah, Orlando, Billy and Dominic were missing however, as they had seemed very eager to stay in their rooms. Legolas was talking to Boromir, ignoring Aragorn who was more than a little tipsy (and he thought no-one had noticed him slipping something a little stronger into his drink) and had been offering to show what was under his flasher coat. The hobbits were having a game of chess, and Sean was having an animated conversation with the elf behind the counter.
Suddenly, Sam noticed a figure sat alone in a corner, nursing her cup of Starbucks coffee. It was, of course, Laura, wearing her 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me' top, and huge black baggy jeans. Sam, feeling a little sorry for her, excused himself and walked over to her, fiddling with the material of his cloak nervously.
"'Scuse me miss, would you like some company?" She smiled at him.
"Thank you." Said she, and Sam sat on the seat next to her.
Frodo watched Sam talk to the girl, feeling jealously flare up somewhere inside him. The Author seemed to be having a little too much fun with his gardener. He had seen how Sam had been watching Orlando recently, and now with this girl? What was it again, Laura? Yes, someone was enjoying this way too much.
"Bet ya 3 rocks that he kisses her in under an hour." Merry said, moving the castle forward three squares.
"Bet ya 5 rocks that he kisses her after an hour." Pippin moved his knight and knocked Merry's castle off the board.
"Bet ya 10 rocks that he doesn't kiss her at all." Frodo muttered, glaring at the girl, who Sam now had his arm around.
"Hey, lookit that." Legolas nodded at Sam and Laura. Boromir looked.
"Hey, is that Sam actually talkin' to a lass, and not blushin'?" Legolas squinted.
"Yes, I believe it is." Boromir, very unsubtly, slipped his arm round Legolas' shoulders. "Its no use Boromir, I am not attracted to you." Boromir just grinned at him.
"Laura, I'm going to kiss you." Sam said, his arm around her shoulders. She smiled.
"And you seriously think I would try and stop you?" He smiled and leant forward, pressing his lips to hers.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! Samwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise!" Frodo screamed, but for some inexplicable reason, no-one heard him.