I had fun writing this one… can u tell? The only thing is, I really
disturbed myself when I realised I found the idea of Aragorn and Boromir
kissing kinda cute… Lara, this doesn't mean I fancy Boromir! I don't! That
weirdness is reserved especially for you! My own weirdness is my Elrond
obsession… and my little eyebrow fetish…
Have fun imagining the Tongue Thing… I know I did…
Ah! The chess pieces are out to get me! Nooooo!
Sorry Laura, I just can't write an Orli/Elijah/Dominic threesome… its just too graphic! So, I leave it to your twisted imagination…
To Psycho Cowgirl, MarigoldG, Mercuria, Elendor, Zurizip and everyone else who has very kindly reviewed me (oh, and that weird cousin of mine who likes the ugly hobbit [kidding Laura!] and the other strange one who likes Boromir); Thankyou! Very, very, very muchly! You inspire me!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Frodo was still sulking as Pippin fell asleep leaning against Merry's shoulder. Aragorn had practically passed out on top of Boromir, who was holding him up and had decided to carry him to his room. Legolas was sat on a large couch, and was slowly falling asleep. Sean sat next to him.
"Hi Sean." Legolas murmured, wondering if there was anywhere comfy he could sleep. Sean smiled at him.
"Tired?" The elf nodded, and suddenly noticed how comfy Sean's lap looked. Yawning, he lay down with his head in Sean's lap, and smiled up at the Thing. "Aw, you look so cute when you're sleepy." Sean smiled, slowly starting to stroke the elf's hair, lulling Legolas into wherever it was elves go when they dream. Legolas just kept smiling back, and stretched, before turning his body slightly and wrapping his arms round Sean's knees.
Aragorn fell through the door to his room, followed by Boromir.
"Fer 'eaven's sake Strider." He shook his head as Aragorn slumped on the bed.
"S'Aragorn to you, Bowmir, I's king o' Gond… Gon…" The ranger dissolved into a fit of giggles. Boromir sighed and closed the door, then walked over to the giggling king of Gondor, and reached down to undo his coat. Aragorn made a noise like a chihuahua being kicked (kinda like 'yip').
"You… You tryin' somethin' Bowmir?" He clutched his coat around him with one hand, and waved a finger accusingly at the other Man.
"Flamin' hell, what d'ya think I am?" Boromir winced at the thought, and tried to go for the sandals and socks instead. Aragorn yipped again, and kicked out at Boromir's hand, but that simple action unbalanced him and he ended up sprawled out on the bed. Aragorn giggled, as Boromir pulled the sandals off. "Aragorn, you're going to bed. You're off yer head, for 'eavens sake." Aragorn pushed himself up on his elbows and smiled widely at Boromir. His coat had fallen open, and Boromir found himself facing a scantily dressed ranger, who's only attire happened to be skin-tight hobbit clothes. He gulped.
"Bowmir…?" Aragorn asked, biting his lip thoughtfully.
"Hmm?" It was the only safe sound Boromir could think of.
"Sing me a song." The ranger smiled sweetly at him and leant forward to grab Boromir's collar and drag him beside him onto the bed.
"Er, anythin' in particular?" Boromir asked, as Aragorn shifted so they were lying facing each other.
"Anything."
"Erm." Boromir thought about it, then started softly. "Three arrows and countin', I hoped 'twas yours that pierced my heart. Holy crap, we're being attacked, and that Uruk's got one heck of a big bow…" Aragorn giggled, and shuffled closer.
"That's kinda sweet." He slurred, lifting his head to try and focus on Boromir's face. Boromir gulped, then kissed him.
Boromir's eyes shot open, and he realised, with horrifying clarity, that he was kissing Aragorn. He jerked away… or at least he tried to. His lips seemed to have other ideas, and were firmly planted onto Aragorn's.
"Hmph!" Aragorn had suddenly sobered up and realised, also with horrifying clarity, that Boromir was kissing him. He tried to move his hands to push the other man away, but they wouldn't move from where they were clutching Boromir's arms.
"Grff…" Boromir said.
"Ntryg!" Aragorn muttered. They both realised that in order to talk, they would have to open their mouths, and they shuddered at the implications.
"Sthuthe." Boromir said, pushing as hard as he could against Aragorn's chest, but his arms wouldn't listen to him.
"Shrp." Aragorn concentrated on his fingers, managing to loosen them a litte.
"Tha…" Boromir realised his dreadful mistake, as Aragorn unwillingly took advantage of his slightly parted lips.
Merry looked up as Dominic sat down next to him. Pippin snuggled a little more into Merry's shoulder.
"Hi." Dominic smiled at the hobbit, who had leant back a little way to make Pippin a little more comfy.
"Hey… I thought you were with Billy." Dominic blushed.
"I was." Merry raised his eyebrows (have u noticed how much eyebrow raising there is in this story?) "He's asleep."
"Oh." The hobbit smirked at the Thing, who avoided his gaze.
"Merry." Dominic started, then paused as he contemplated what he was about to say. "You've… been with Pippin, haven't you?" Merry shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Um… yeah. Why?" Dominic stared at the chessboard on the table. The black king was being trampled by the white one. Dominic briefly wondered when chess pieces had started moving on their own, and developed a thirst for chess genocide, but he let that pass.
"I was just wondering… if…" He blushed again. Merry was getting worried. "Does Pippin do… the Tongue Thing?"
"The Tongue Thing?" Merry looked puzzled, and he tried to remember everything they had done that night in the trench in the woods (sorry, couldn't help myself).
"The Tongue Thing." Dominic stared at him, meaningfully, until Merry suddenly realised.
"Oh… The Tongue Thing…" He grinned, and tightened his grip around the sleeping hobbit laid on him. "I know the Tongue Thing…" The hobbit and the Thing were silent for a moment, remembering their own versions of the Tongue Thing. Then they both sighed happily, and shook themselves out of their little Billy or Pippin induced dream-worlds, and back to reality.
"Hey." They both looked up at the slurred voice, and stared. Orlando rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, stretched, the slumped down on the seat opposite them. That in itself, though a very nice image, wasn't what made them stare. It could have something to do with the fact that Orlando was wearing just black boxers.
"Hello." Merry squeaked, and Orlando gave him a tired smile. Dominic tried to stop himself looking at the scantily dressed Orlando, but he was fighting a losing battle.
"Where's Lij?" He asked, then coughed as his voice came out several notes higher than he intended.
"He wanted a drink." Orlando said in explanation, though it was slightly distracted, as he had just noticed the chessboard. The knight was losing its battle against a rather vicious black castle. "Hey, the chess pieces are…"
"Yeah we know." Merry had settled with staring at the sleeping Pippin, as it took his attention away from Orlando. Sighing and shaking his head, Orlando stood up again.
"Well… better get Elijah his drink. He'll be getting impatient." Dominic gulped and tried to think of something other than Elijah and Orlando… it wasn't working. He watched Orlando wander over to the bar, have a quick chat with the bar-elf (who, for some reason which is totally beyond even the author, didn't seem to be attracted to sleepy half-naked Orlando), get a glass of water and head over to the door. He stopped, his hand resting on the door handle, and glanced over at Dominic, flashing him a quick grin. Dominic just stared back.
"Dom, why don't you come up? Im sure Elijah won't mind…" Orlando, seemingly forgetting all about being tired, gave Dominic his best sultry look. Almost every elf, dwarf, hobbit and man in the place suddenly paid an unhealthy amount of attention to the Thing, and Dominic just grinned, stood up and followed Orli out the door, sticking his tongue out at everyone in the lounge before closing the door.
"Lucky git…" A dwarf muttered. Everyone else was inclined to agree.
Boromir was getting really fed up. Apparently, the Author had decided that it would be a good idea to get some fondling in there too, and now he was really wishing Aragorn's hands had stayed on his arms. He tried pushing Aragorn away again, but his arms still weren't listening. And they were still kissing. Except now it was a little more… intense.
"We have…" He managed to gasp as they broke away for air, but was cut off again as they were forced back together. "To stop…" and again. "This."
"Yeah…" Aragorn agreed, "This is…" His eyes widened as they suddenly rolled over so Boromir was lying over him. "Getting dis…" His hands started fumbling with Boromir's clothes. "Gusting."
"We should…" He suddenly wished he was wearing more clothes. "Call for…" One of Aragorn's hands tangled in his hair and pulled him down. "Help."
Billy woke up, expecting to find Dominic asleep next to him. He sat up when he realised he was alone. Frowning gently, he climbed out of bed, pulled a dressing gown on (you know those big Victorian ones? Aw, Billy in a dressing gown) and wandered out of the room into the corridor.
"Dom?" He called, getting no reply. Then suddenly, rather faintly, familiar voices could he heard…
"Hel…"
"Plea…"Then a pause, in which muffled groaning could be heard. "…se help!" Billy, very confused, headed down the corridor to where the sounds where coming from.
"Help!" Billy recognized that voice.
"Aragorn?" He called out, reaching out towards the door handle.
"Billy…" An ominous moan drifted from the room. "Boromir… You liked… that?!"
"No…" More rustling. "I dint." Billy nervously turned the handle and swung the door open, peering inside. He gasped in shock at the sight before him…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Translation time:
"Grff…" Gerroff – Kindly remove yourself
"Ntryg!" Im trying!
"Sthuthe." It's the Author
"Shrp." Shurrup – please be quiet…
Have fun imagining the Tongue Thing… I know I did…
Ah! The chess pieces are out to get me! Nooooo!
Sorry Laura, I just can't write an Orli/Elijah/Dominic threesome… its just too graphic! So, I leave it to your twisted imagination…
To Psycho Cowgirl, MarigoldG, Mercuria, Elendor, Zurizip and everyone else who has very kindly reviewed me (oh, and that weird cousin of mine who likes the ugly hobbit [kidding Laura!] and the other strange one who likes Boromir); Thankyou! Very, very, very muchly! You inspire me!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Frodo was still sulking as Pippin fell asleep leaning against Merry's shoulder. Aragorn had practically passed out on top of Boromir, who was holding him up and had decided to carry him to his room. Legolas was sat on a large couch, and was slowly falling asleep. Sean sat next to him.
"Hi Sean." Legolas murmured, wondering if there was anywhere comfy he could sleep. Sean smiled at him.
"Tired?" The elf nodded, and suddenly noticed how comfy Sean's lap looked. Yawning, he lay down with his head in Sean's lap, and smiled up at the Thing. "Aw, you look so cute when you're sleepy." Sean smiled, slowly starting to stroke the elf's hair, lulling Legolas into wherever it was elves go when they dream. Legolas just kept smiling back, and stretched, before turning his body slightly and wrapping his arms round Sean's knees.
Aragorn fell through the door to his room, followed by Boromir.
"Fer 'eaven's sake Strider." He shook his head as Aragorn slumped on the bed.
"S'Aragorn to you, Bowmir, I's king o' Gond… Gon…" The ranger dissolved into a fit of giggles. Boromir sighed and closed the door, then walked over to the giggling king of Gondor, and reached down to undo his coat. Aragorn made a noise like a chihuahua being kicked (kinda like 'yip').
"You… You tryin' somethin' Bowmir?" He clutched his coat around him with one hand, and waved a finger accusingly at the other Man.
"Flamin' hell, what d'ya think I am?" Boromir winced at the thought, and tried to go for the sandals and socks instead. Aragorn yipped again, and kicked out at Boromir's hand, but that simple action unbalanced him and he ended up sprawled out on the bed. Aragorn giggled, as Boromir pulled the sandals off. "Aragorn, you're going to bed. You're off yer head, for 'eavens sake." Aragorn pushed himself up on his elbows and smiled widely at Boromir. His coat had fallen open, and Boromir found himself facing a scantily dressed ranger, who's only attire happened to be skin-tight hobbit clothes. He gulped.
"Bowmir…?" Aragorn asked, biting his lip thoughtfully.
"Hmm?" It was the only safe sound Boromir could think of.
"Sing me a song." The ranger smiled sweetly at him and leant forward to grab Boromir's collar and drag him beside him onto the bed.
"Er, anythin' in particular?" Boromir asked, as Aragorn shifted so they were lying facing each other.
"Anything."
"Erm." Boromir thought about it, then started softly. "Three arrows and countin', I hoped 'twas yours that pierced my heart. Holy crap, we're being attacked, and that Uruk's got one heck of a big bow…" Aragorn giggled, and shuffled closer.
"That's kinda sweet." He slurred, lifting his head to try and focus on Boromir's face. Boromir gulped, then kissed him.
Boromir's eyes shot open, and he realised, with horrifying clarity, that he was kissing Aragorn. He jerked away… or at least he tried to. His lips seemed to have other ideas, and were firmly planted onto Aragorn's.
"Hmph!" Aragorn had suddenly sobered up and realised, also with horrifying clarity, that Boromir was kissing him. He tried to move his hands to push the other man away, but they wouldn't move from where they were clutching Boromir's arms.
"Grff…" Boromir said.
"Ntryg!" Aragorn muttered. They both realised that in order to talk, they would have to open their mouths, and they shuddered at the implications.
"Sthuthe." Boromir said, pushing as hard as he could against Aragorn's chest, but his arms wouldn't listen to him.
"Shrp." Aragorn concentrated on his fingers, managing to loosen them a litte.
"Tha…" Boromir realised his dreadful mistake, as Aragorn unwillingly took advantage of his slightly parted lips.
Merry looked up as Dominic sat down next to him. Pippin snuggled a little more into Merry's shoulder.
"Hi." Dominic smiled at the hobbit, who had leant back a little way to make Pippin a little more comfy.
"Hey… I thought you were with Billy." Dominic blushed.
"I was." Merry raised his eyebrows (have u noticed how much eyebrow raising there is in this story?) "He's asleep."
"Oh." The hobbit smirked at the Thing, who avoided his gaze.
"Merry." Dominic started, then paused as he contemplated what he was about to say. "You've… been with Pippin, haven't you?" Merry shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Um… yeah. Why?" Dominic stared at the chessboard on the table. The black king was being trampled by the white one. Dominic briefly wondered when chess pieces had started moving on their own, and developed a thirst for chess genocide, but he let that pass.
"I was just wondering… if…" He blushed again. Merry was getting worried. "Does Pippin do… the Tongue Thing?"
"The Tongue Thing?" Merry looked puzzled, and he tried to remember everything they had done that night in the trench in the woods (sorry, couldn't help myself).
"The Tongue Thing." Dominic stared at him, meaningfully, until Merry suddenly realised.
"Oh… The Tongue Thing…" He grinned, and tightened his grip around the sleeping hobbit laid on him. "I know the Tongue Thing…" The hobbit and the Thing were silent for a moment, remembering their own versions of the Tongue Thing. Then they both sighed happily, and shook themselves out of their little Billy or Pippin induced dream-worlds, and back to reality.
"Hey." They both looked up at the slurred voice, and stared. Orlando rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, stretched, the slumped down on the seat opposite them. That in itself, though a very nice image, wasn't what made them stare. It could have something to do with the fact that Orlando was wearing just black boxers.
"Hello." Merry squeaked, and Orlando gave him a tired smile. Dominic tried to stop himself looking at the scantily dressed Orlando, but he was fighting a losing battle.
"Where's Lij?" He asked, then coughed as his voice came out several notes higher than he intended.
"He wanted a drink." Orlando said in explanation, though it was slightly distracted, as he had just noticed the chessboard. The knight was losing its battle against a rather vicious black castle. "Hey, the chess pieces are…"
"Yeah we know." Merry had settled with staring at the sleeping Pippin, as it took his attention away from Orlando. Sighing and shaking his head, Orlando stood up again.
"Well… better get Elijah his drink. He'll be getting impatient." Dominic gulped and tried to think of something other than Elijah and Orlando… it wasn't working. He watched Orlando wander over to the bar, have a quick chat with the bar-elf (who, for some reason which is totally beyond even the author, didn't seem to be attracted to sleepy half-naked Orlando), get a glass of water and head over to the door. He stopped, his hand resting on the door handle, and glanced over at Dominic, flashing him a quick grin. Dominic just stared back.
"Dom, why don't you come up? Im sure Elijah won't mind…" Orlando, seemingly forgetting all about being tired, gave Dominic his best sultry look. Almost every elf, dwarf, hobbit and man in the place suddenly paid an unhealthy amount of attention to the Thing, and Dominic just grinned, stood up and followed Orli out the door, sticking his tongue out at everyone in the lounge before closing the door.
"Lucky git…" A dwarf muttered. Everyone else was inclined to agree.
Boromir was getting really fed up. Apparently, the Author had decided that it would be a good idea to get some fondling in there too, and now he was really wishing Aragorn's hands had stayed on his arms. He tried pushing Aragorn away again, but his arms still weren't listening. And they were still kissing. Except now it was a little more… intense.
"We have…" He managed to gasp as they broke away for air, but was cut off again as they were forced back together. "To stop…" and again. "This."
"Yeah…" Aragorn agreed, "This is…" His eyes widened as they suddenly rolled over so Boromir was lying over him. "Getting dis…" His hands started fumbling with Boromir's clothes. "Gusting."
"We should…" He suddenly wished he was wearing more clothes. "Call for…" One of Aragorn's hands tangled in his hair and pulled him down. "Help."
Billy woke up, expecting to find Dominic asleep next to him. He sat up when he realised he was alone. Frowning gently, he climbed out of bed, pulled a dressing gown on (you know those big Victorian ones? Aw, Billy in a dressing gown) and wandered out of the room into the corridor.
"Dom?" He called, getting no reply. Then suddenly, rather faintly, familiar voices could he heard…
"Hel…"
"Plea…"Then a pause, in which muffled groaning could be heard. "…se help!" Billy, very confused, headed down the corridor to where the sounds where coming from.
"Help!" Billy recognized that voice.
"Aragorn?" He called out, reaching out towards the door handle.
"Billy…" An ominous moan drifted from the room. "Boromir… You liked… that?!"
"No…" More rustling. "I dint." Billy nervously turned the handle and swung the door open, peering inside. He gasped in shock at the sight before him…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Translation time:
"Grff…" Gerroff – Kindly remove yourself
"Ntryg!" Im trying!
"Sthuthe." It's the Author
"Shrp." Shurrup – please be quiet…