I don't know why I've been so slash-happy lately… Laura! You've corrupted
me, you naughty thing you! Talking about Orli and Elijah and Dominic having
threesomes (which they did, in case any readers didn't realise…) and
remember where the red hotpants come from? The same place the God of Unruly
Pants comes from! Wahay! Don't ya just love our msn conversations?
Mums friend came round earlier (Sean Beans friend) and he was shocked that I didn't fancy him (Sean Bean that is, not him…)! Well he was also shocked that I like the Goon Show, Monty Python, Ken Dodd, Jasper Carrott, Blackadder, Father Ted and Graham Norton…. But he was REALLY shocked when he found out about my handcuffs… I don't know why…
Well, anyhoo, enjoy the wonderful slashyness, and have nice images (like I did whilst writing this)…
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"Scarred for life." Billy shook his head, and rubbed his eyes. "That's it, definitely scarred for life." He shuddered and rubbed his eyes again.
"S'not like we wanted to!" Boromir protested from inside the bathroom. Aragorn wandered out of the kitchen, where had been washing his mouth out in the sink.
"Stupid Author." He slumped on the bed, then suddenly remembered what had transpired there earlier, and stood up again. Boromir stuck his head out of the bathroom.
"If ya'd just kept your hands on my arms, then we…"
"If you hadn't opened your mouth in the first place…"
"Well, if you 'adn't got so blind drunk, it'd never…"
"Enough!" Billy snapped, glaring at them. He was beginning to get a headache. "It's the Authors fault, okay?" Boromir and Aragorn nodded, still sulking.
"Hey, do you think it's a good idea to insult the Author like that?" Aragorn pointed out. "I mean, that was bad…"
"The earth dint exactly move for me either, strider." Boromir piped up. Aragorn ignored him.
"But it could be worse… much much worse." The three men exchanged worried glances.
Elijah woke up. Not a pleasant feeling, considering there was something lying on his chest, and another thing draped over his legs. However, the outlook for the day brightened considerably when he realised the things were actually Things… to be more specific, Orlando and Dominic. He tried to stretch, but stopped that when Orlando moved slightly, groaned into his chest, and slid up to rest his head on the younger man's shoulder. Elijah smiled, and wrapped his arm round his boyfriend's waist. There was a groan from further down the bed.
"Morning." Elijah smiled at him, and Dominic looked up blearily.
"Morning?" He looked around, until he noticed a small alarm clock on the bedside table. He peered at it for a few seconds, trying to focus, and realised it was well into morning. "Oh crap." He tried to stand up, but fell over as he was still tangled in Elijah and Orlando's legs. He managed to climb off the bed, and searched around for his clothes. "I've gotta go…" He said, as he pulled his travelling clothes back on.
"Bye." Elijah called out as Dominic bolted out the door. Orlando raised his head slightly.
"Wha… wha's goin on?" He murmured, sleepily. Elijah gently kissed his forehead.
"Nothing, love. Go back to sleep." Orlando nodded slowly, and then slumped back down. Elijah smiled happily and settled down to sleep.
Dominic hurried down the hall towards his and Billy's room. He just hoped he got there before Billy woke up. He was his best friend; he shouldn't have to wake up alone, especially after what happened the night before… Dominic stopped and shook his head, then ran the rest of the way to the room. He stopped outside the door, his hand resting on the door handle, and he tried to calm his breathing down a little. Sighing, he opened the door and looked in.
"Billy?" There was no answer, and he stepped inside. "Billy?" He looked around, but there was no-one there. Dominic frowned and wandered back out into the hallway. Then, faintly, he heard something.
"Boromir… don't please! Aragorn, no!" Dominic would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Billy!" He raced down to where the noises where coming from and flung the door open. "Billy I'm… Oh."
Billy looked up pleadingly from where he was handcuffed to the bed. With fluffy red handcuffs, no less. And Dominic was pretty sure that Billy didn't own a pair of red leather hotpants. Aragorn wasn't wearing his coat anymore (or sandals and socks thankfully), and Boromir had seemingly gone for the 70's look, as he was wearing large, bright yellow flares, a purple tanktop, and a jacket with lapels so large he was in danger of taking off if there was a gust of wind. Aragorn looked down at the tube of squirty cream (trench thoughts, bad bad trench thoughts) in his hand, and blushed, but found himself unable to put it down. Boromir quickly tried to hide the sequined bra behind his back, but not before Dominic had noticed it.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Help me! They've gone crazy!" Billy struggled at his restraints.
"S'not our fault!" Boromir protested, finally managing to throw the bra as far away from him as possible.
"We insulted the Author!" Aragorn said, dropping the tube onto the bed and backing away.
"They're forcin' me to wear this!" Boromir added, also backing away from the seething Dominic, who marched over to Aragorn and held his hand out.
"Keys." He demanded, and Aragorn searched his pockets quickly, before dropping them onto Dominic's palm.
"Ya know, we really dint mean to…" Boromir stated, but Dominic gave him his well-rehearsed death glare, before leaning down and unfastening the handcuffs around Billy's wrists.
"Thanks…" Billy smiled coyly up at Dominic, who suddenly realised how close they were. Forgetting all about Aragorn and Boromir, he dropped the hand cuffs, gently stroked Billy's cheek, and leant down to press their lips together for a sweet kiss.
"We'd better be goin'…" Boromir started towards the door, propelling Aragorn forwards in front of him.
"See you later then…" They hurried out, just as Dominic realised that Billy was still wearing red leather hotpants.
Sean woke up to something wriggling on his knees. He frowned gently, then opened his eyes and looked down. Legolas, trying to get comfortable, was tossing and turning in his lap, eventually stopping in the same position he had fallen asleep in. Sean smiled, and ran his fingers through the long blonde hair. Legolas opened his eyes.
"Sean?" He stretched, then lay still, gazing up at the Thing. "Is it morning?" Sean nodded, his hand still playing idly with the elf's hair. Legolas smiled, then decided to move and sat up next to the Thing, leaning against his shoulder slightly. "Thankyou." He mumbled, leaning closer to snuggle against Sean's neck.
"You're welcome." Sean turned, just as Legolas raised his head, and their faces ended up dangerously close. Legolas smiled, then closed the gap and kissed Sean firmly on the lips.
"Legolas…" Sean managed to gasp as the elf pulled away. "Im not su…" Legolas silenced him with another kiss, longer this time. "You know this is the Author, don't yo…" Again, he was cut off, and this time, he wasn't going to stop him.
Frodo raised his head, and realised from the crick in his neck, that he had fallen asleep at the table in the lounge. He groaned and rubbed his aching neck, before trying to find his bearings. Merry and Pippin were playing chess… No, actually they were watching the chess pieces attempt to destroy each other. Sean and Legolas were… Oh… Frodo looked away, and searched for his friend. Sam was wandering back to Frodo, after his night with Laura in the corner, and sat next to the older hobbit, smiling at him.
"And where were you last night?" Frodo raised an eyebrow questioningly (hehe, eyebrow raising again…).
"Um… Well, Mr Frodo, I…" Sam stuttered, then fell into silence. Frodo just smiled at him.
"It's okay Sam." Frodo rested his hand on Samwise's shoulder, reassuringly. "Lets go see what Merry and Pippin are up to, shall we?" Sam nodded, and the two hobbits wandered over to their companions.
"Woohoo! Go blacks!" Pippin was cheering, and Merry shoved him.
"They're the bad guys Pip…"
"Don't care. Blacks are better." Frodo slipped into the empty seat at the table, and Sam hurried off to get one for himself.
"What's happening?" Frodo asked, looking down as a white knight and bishop pummeled a black pawn.
"It's the Last Alliance of Pawns and Kings." Merry explained, then cheered as the black pawn scuttled off the board, only to fall into the trap of three white pawns.
"It seems rather vicious." Frodo said, frowning gently as the three white pawns hopped back onto the board and mobbed an unsuspecting black castle.
"Oh it is." Pippin said. Sam reappeared, dragging a chair, and quickly got settled, before handing out some bags of leftover popcorn.
"See that black king…" Merry pointed out, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. "He's doing it all wrong." Frodo and Sam gave him confused looks. "He sent out all his pawns at the beginning of the battle… and now hes only got knights, castles and bishops left."
"What about the queen?" Sam asked, but his question was answered by the horrible sound of chess pieces being flung carelessly to the side and off the board. The queen was angry.
"There ya go Sam." Pippin stared as the queen left a trail of destruction in her path. "The queen's always the most dangerous one…Yeah! Go blacks!" Frodo and Sam shared an exasperated look.
Mums friend came round earlier (Sean Beans friend) and he was shocked that I didn't fancy him (Sean Bean that is, not him…)! Well he was also shocked that I like the Goon Show, Monty Python, Ken Dodd, Jasper Carrott, Blackadder, Father Ted and Graham Norton…. But he was REALLY shocked when he found out about my handcuffs… I don't know why…
Well, anyhoo, enjoy the wonderful slashyness, and have nice images (like I did whilst writing this)…
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"Scarred for life." Billy shook his head, and rubbed his eyes. "That's it, definitely scarred for life." He shuddered and rubbed his eyes again.
"S'not like we wanted to!" Boromir protested from inside the bathroom. Aragorn wandered out of the kitchen, where had been washing his mouth out in the sink.
"Stupid Author." He slumped on the bed, then suddenly remembered what had transpired there earlier, and stood up again. Boromir stuck his head out of the bathroom.
"If ya'd just kept your hands on my arms, then we…"
"If you hadn't opened your mouth in the first place…"
"Well, if you 'adn't got so blind drunk, it'd never…"
"Enough!" Billy snapped, glaring at them. He was beginning to get a headache. "It's the Authors fault, okay?" Boromir and Aragorn nodded, still sulking.
"Hey, do you think it's a good idea to insult the Author like that?" Aragorn pointed out. "I mean, that was bad…"
"The earth dint exactly move for me either, strider." Boromir piped up. Aragorn ignored him.
"But it could be worse… much much worse." The three men exchanged worried glances.
Elijah woke up. Not a pleasant feeling, considering there was something lying on his chest, and another thing draped over his legs. However, the outlook for the day brightened considerably when he realised the things were actually Things… to be more specific, Orlando and Dominic. He tried to stretch, but stopped that when Orlando moved slightly, groaned into his chest, and slid up to rest his head on the younger man's shoulder. Elijah smiled, and wrapped his arm round his boyfriend's waist. There was a groan from further down the bed.
"Morning." Elijah smiled at him, and Dominic looked up blearily.
"Morning?" He looked around, until he noticed a small alarm clock on the bedside table. He peered at it for a few seconds, trying to focus, and realised it was well into morning. "Oh crap." He tried to stand up, but fell over as he was still tangled in Elijah and Orlando's legs. He managed to climb off the bed, and searched around for his clothes. "I've gotta go…" He said, as he pulled his travelling clothes back on.
"Bye." Elijah called out as Dominic bolted out the door. Orlando raised his head slightly.
"Wha… wha's goin on?" He murmured, sleepily. Elijah gently kissed his forehead.
"Nothing, love. Go back to sleep." Orlando nodded slowly, and then slumped back down. Elijah smiled happily and settled down to sleep.
Dominic hurried down the hall towards his and Billy's room. He just hoped he got there before Billy woke up. He was his best friend; he shouldn't have to wake up alone, especially after what happened the night before… Dominic stopped and shook his head, then ran the rest of the way to the room. He stopped outside the door, his hand resting on the door handle, and he tried to calm his breathing down a little. Sighing, he opened the door and looked in.
"Billy?" There was no answer, and he stepped inside. "Billy?" He looked around, but there was no-one there. Dominic frowned and wandered back out into the hallway. Then, faintly, he heard something.
"Boromir… don't please! Aragorn, no!" Dominic would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Billy!" He raced down to where the noises where coming from and flung the door open. "Billy I'm… Oh."
Billy looked up pleadingly from where he was handcuffed to the bed. With fluffy red handcuffs, no less. And Dominic was pretty sure that Billy didn't own a pair of red leather hotpants. Aragorn wasn't wearing his coat anymore (or sandals and socks thankfully), and Boromir had seemingly gone for the 70's look, as he was wearing large, bright yellow flares, a purple tanktop, and a jacket with lapels so large he was in danger of taking off if there was a gust of wind. Aragorn looked down at the tube of squirty cream (trench thoughts, bad bad trench thoughts) in his hand, and blushed, but found himself unable to put it down. Boromir quickly tried to hide the sequined bra behind his back, but not before Dominic had noticed it.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Help me! They've gone crazy!" Billy struggled at his restraints.
"S'not our fault!" Boromir protested, finally managing to throw the bra as far away from him as possible.
"We insulted the Author!" Aragorn said, dropping the tube onto the bed and backing away.
"They're forcin' me to wear this!" Boromir added, also backing away from the seething Dominic, who marched over to Aragorn and held his hand out.
"Keys." He demanded, and Aragorn searched his pockets quickly, before dropping them onto Dominic's palm.
"Ya know, we really dint mean to…" Boromir stated, but Dominic gave him his well-rehearsed death glare, before leaning down and unfastening the handcuffs around Billy's wrists.
"Thanks…" Billy smiled coyly up at Dominic, who suddenly realised how close they were. Forgetting all about Aragorn and Boromir, he dropped the hand cuffs, gently stroked Billy's cheek, and leant down to press their lips together for a sweet kiss.
"We'd better be goin'…" Boromir started towards the door, propelling Aragorn forwards in front of him.
"See you later then…" They hurried out, just as Dominic realised that Billy was still wearing red leather hotpants.
Sean woke up to something wriggling on his knees. He frowned gently, then opened his eyes and looked down. Legolas, trying to get comfortable, was tossing and turning in his lap, eventually stopping in the same position he had fallen asleep in. Sean smiled, and ran his fingers through the long blonde hair. Legolas opened his eyes.
"Sean?" He stretched, then lay still, gazing up at the Thing. "Is it morning?" Sean nodded, his hand still playing idly with the elf's hair. Legolas smiled, then decided to move and sat up next to the Thing, leaning against his shoulder slightly. "Thankyou." He mumbled, leaning closer to snuggle against Sean's neck.
"You're welcome." Sean turned, just as Legolas raised his head, and their faces ended up dangerously close. Legolas smiled, then closed the gap and kissed Sean firmly on the lips.
"Legolas…" Sean managed to gasp as the elf pulled away. "Im not su…" Legolas silenced him with another kiss, longer this time. "You know this is the Author, don't yo…" Again, he was cut off, and this time, he wasn't going to stop him.
Frodo raised his head, and realised from the crick in his neck, that he had fallen asleep at the table in the lounge. He groaned and rubbed his aching neck, before trying to find his bearings. Merry and Pippin were playing chess… No, actually they were watching the chess pieces attempt to destroy each other. Sean and Legolas were… Oh… Frodo looked away, and searched for his friend. Sam was wandering back to Frodo, after his night with Laura in the corner, and sat next to the older hobbit, smiling at him.
"And where were you last night?" Frodo raised an eyebrow questioningly (hehe, eyebrow raising again…).
"Um… Well, Mr Frodo, I…" Sam stuttered, then fell into silence. Frodo just smiled at him.
"It's okay Sam." Frodo rested his hand on Samwise's shoulder, reassuringly. "Lets go see what Merry and Pippin are up to, shall we?" Sam nodded, and the two hobbits wandered over to their companions.
"Woohoo! Go blacks!" Pippin was cheering, and Merry shoved him.
"They're the bad guys Pip…"
"Don't care. Blacks are better." Frodo slipped into the empty seat at the table, and Sam hurried off to get one for himself.
"What's happening?" Frodo asked, looking down as a white knight and bishop pummeled a black pawn.
"It's the Last Alliance of Pawns and Kings." Merry explained, then cheered as the black pawn scuttled off the board, only to fall into the trap of three white pawns.
"It seems rather vicious." Frodo said, frowning gently as the three white pawns hopped back onto the board and mobbed an unsuspecting black castle.
"Oh it is." Pippin said. Sam reappeared, dragging a chair, and quickly got settled, before handing out some bags of leftover popcorn.
"See that black king…" Merry pointed out, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. "He's doing it all wrong." Frodo and Sam gave him confused looks. "He sent out all his pawns at the beginning of the battle… and now hes only got knights, castles and bishops left."
"What about the queen?" Sam asked, but his question was answered by the horrible sound of chess pieces being flung carelessly to the side and off the board. The queen was angry.
"There ya go Sam." Pippin stared as the queen left a trail of destruction in her path. "The queen's always the most dangerous one…Yeah! Go blacks!" Frodo and Sam shared an exasperated look.