I hope this makes up for that pitiful last chapter that I really really
don't like... to be honest I just wrote it to annoy Laura with the
squickiness of Aragorn/Boromir/Dominic... Hehe, it worked too...
Well, what can I say bout this chapter... I wrote it in about two hours; because I got sudden inspiration, and I really really want to see Elrond in leather... maybe that's just me...
To Elendor, sorry but you do know I had to make Haldir camp, don't you? I mean, look at him in the film! I just had to! Please don't hurt me… don't worry, the Haldir/Legolas thing will be explained in the next chapter!
Im making new words up again… this time it's 'beautifuller'…
Oh, and Sunrise? yes, I am exaggerating a bit… apparently that's because im an eccentric person... or so my mother tells me... I'm not *that* eccentric, am I Laura?... Laura?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Haldir?" Legolas shrieked, standing up as Haldir ran over, a big grin on his face, and hugged him before holding him at arms length, leaning in to place a kiss on each cheek, which Legolas returned. Then he turned to the others and held his arms out.
"Welcome to Lothlorien, my friends!" He beamed, and did a little twirl. He was wearing long flowing robes of different colours, a funny hat that was tilted to cover one of his eyes and several dozen bead necklaces about his neck. Oh, and lots of make-up. Legolas thought that maybe there was a tad too much blusher, but he kept that to himself. "But it seems that we have some newcomers to the Golden Wood." The Things were wondering just how camp an elf could be, and also how Boy George came to be known in Middle Earth.
"Um, yeah." Elijah stood up, as Sean was a little busy with Billy threatening to be sick all over him. Merry, Pippin and Frodo were all tucking into some candy floss that Pippin had nicked from Morialand. Dominic, Aragorn, Boromir, Sam and Orlando were all off somewhere doing something (or someone). "We're from..." Haldir held his hand up.
"The Lady is expecting you." He said, as several more elves (of indeterminate gender) appeared behind him, dressed similarly (and some even sillier)
The Fellowship followed Haldir a little warily to the centre of Lothlorien, Legolas walked next to Haldir, their arms linked as they chatted non-stop in Elvish. As the scenery got even beautifuller, they started to notice some odd things in the tall mallorn trees. Round lights of different bright colours, some in sets of three or four, but most of them were separate, dotted round the wood. Only the Things recognized them.
"Why are there disco lights in Lothlorien?" Sean asked, adjusting the nauseas Scotsman hanging off his arm. Haldir just smiled brightly at them, and led them further into the forest.
"Um Haldir..." Frodo struggled to catch up with the strangely dressed elf, finally managing to reach him, and tapping his hip.
"Yes, young hobbit?"
"Er... What about the others? Sam, and Orli and Aragorn and Bo..."
"Worry not, little one." Haldir patted Frodo's head affectionately. "We have search parties looking for them already."
"S... Search parties?" Frodo looked worried, which made Haldir fuss over him even more. Frodo could put up with the 'aw, you're just so adorable' and 'such lovely hair' comments, accompanied with hair stroking and cheek pinching (fortunately the ones on his face). However, as the elves accompanying them decided to get in on it too, he had had enough and he hurried back to join Merry and Pippin
It took them a surprisingly short time to reach the Great Mallorn where the original fellowship first met the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien. It was looking a little... different. The large flet (or talan in Elvish *grins proudly* I researched!) had been cleared, except for some large disco lights at the top, and some large box-like objects at the back. As it was, the lights were turned off, and the wood was silent, but for Haldir's murmured 'karma chameleon' under his breath whenever he wasn't nattering. Legolas was still confused as to what a chameleon actually was.
It was some time later that the other members of the fellowship rejoined them. Aragorn, Boromir and Dominic were all blushing intensely, and sat as far away from each other as possible, and resolutely kept their mouths shut at the others questions. Sam and Orlando gave each other a friendly (and manly) hug before going to sit next to their respective partners. Legolas had disappeared with Haldir somewhere, mentioning something vague about the 'fabulous new fabric just in from Mirkwood' and wouldn't it look 'so amazing with Legolas' leggings'.
"So Dominic..." Merry sat down next to Dominic, who was hugging his (white leather-clad) knees. "Care to tell us where you were all this time?"
"Go away."
"Oh come on Dom. I mean, you were alone in the forest with two very manly testosterone driven men... what could possibly have happened?" Dominic blushed even harder and attempted to merge into the floor. It was failing miserably however. Pippin, seeing how Merry's attempt to get information from Dominic wasn't working, decided to talk to Boromir.
"Hey Borry."
"Hey Pippin."
"So Borry..."
"Yes Pippin?"
"Out in the forest earlier..."
"Yes Pippin..."
"What happened?"
"Well Pippin..."
"Please stop saying my name."
"Why? S'a nice name. Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin..." Pippin gave up on Boromir.
Frodo, curious as ever (most unnatural for a hobbit), sat next to Aragorn and smiled gently at him. Aragorn gave him an odd look (aw, for me?).
"Strider..." Aragorn gulped. Frodo was using the puppy dog eyes, the 'i'm- so-adorable-you-just-have-to-tell-me-your-deepest-darkest-secrets' voice and his nickname all at once. The ranger wasn't sure he could handle this, (and this coming from a man raised by Elrond and his terrifyingly smug 'I- can-make-you-disappear-off-the-face-of-Middle-Earth-if-you-ever-look-at- Arwen-that-way-again' look.)
"Yes Frodo?"
"What happened, Strider? Why did you leave us?" Aragorn bit his lip as Frodo's puppy dog eyes changed to 'you-really-hurt-me-so-tell-me-everything- NOW-and-that-includes-details' eyes.
"I... It was... Er, I mean... The Author...." He stumbled, as Frodo started to pout.
"The Author? You're not hurt are you?" Frodo looked concerned. That was all it took to break Aragorn's defenses.
"The Author forced us to... you know." He muttered, looking down and blushing redder than the disco lights above them in the trees.
"Forced?" Frodo's voice was just as quiet, and he rested his hand on Aragorn's arm. "Come on now Strider..."
"It was! Really!" Aragorn protested, fiddling with a twig he'd found on the floor. "I didn't want to... I mean, I did but it was the Author... It was!" He said again.
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" Frodo's voice had changed yet again (wow, the Changing Voice of Frodo) into the paternal 'I-know-you- better-than-you-do' voice. Aragorn glared at him.
"I didn't." He said, resolutely, and looked round. "Then the elves found us and told us to come here. We were lucky we'd already finished... some of them wanted to join in."
Legolas reappeared a little later with Haldir, wearing his new tunic (that looked suspiciously like a minidress), arm linked with Haldir's.
"Come on." He beckoned them along, grinning madly as the place suddenly came alive with music. Very loud, very odd music, and there was a sudden shout that rang out through the wood.
"Y M C A!"
Legolas and Haldir looked at each other and giggled, before hurrying towards the source of the music. Aragorn glanced over at Boromir, who was watching him, a strange glint in his eyes (get it out! get it out!). Then they both grinned and raced after the elves. The Things looked at each other and groaned, and then followed the others. The hobbits looked at each other for a second, reached an unspoken agreement and hurried off into the forest.
When the Things arrived at the source of the music, the Great Mallorn, they spotted a large group of elves, crowded together at the base of the tree and looking up at the stage. Most of them were doing erratic arm movements to resemble certain letters. Of course, being elves, most of these were Elvish letters, which was why the dance made no sense to anyone Elvish- illiterate. Aragorn and Boromir were soon located as the music blared out from the huge speakers at the back of the flet, and the disco lights started flashing around the crowd. The elves cheered as four figures ran out on stage. Aragorn led them, looking rather fetching in his builder's outfit. He was followed by Boromir, perfectly suited as the Indian, complete with huge feathery headdress. Celeborn was next, waving a pair of handcuffs seductively as part of his policeman's uniform, next came...
"Elrond?!" Sean exclaimed, as the Elf-Lord strutted on-stage, looking suitably badass in his leather biker's gear. The female elves, and a few males too, cheered, and Elrond gave a gratuitous pelvic thrust (imagining it Laura? oooh I am...). The Things mouths fell open. Billy groaned.
"Guys... Im gonna go and... Lay down..." He muttered before staggering off, waving off Dominic's offer of going with him to make sure he was alright. Onstage, the group had started dancing.
"Young elf! Are you listening to me? I said..." Celeborn took the lead, whilst the others did a suitably cheesy dance behind him.
"This is just embarrassing." Dom shook his head, glancing at Orlando and Elijah, who seemed to be enjoying it immensely and were attempting to slip off into the crowd, probably to go and 'get down their bad selves'. Maybe in more ways than one. Dom glanced around, and noticed Sean grinning at him. No, he was grinning at something behind him. Dominic looked round curiously, and grinning. Legolas and Haldir were dancing together, facing each other and holding hands as they did so.
"You think maybe they're..." Sean raised his eyebrows questioningly. Dom laughed.
"Probably. Care to dance?" Sean just laughed and took Dominic's offered hand (ere, give that back...) and let the younger man lead him into the crowd.
Aragorn was really enjoying himself. His outfit had gone down a treat, and he was fairly certain he'd got more cheers than Elrond. He waited backstage for Boromir as they left the stage for the next act, grinning when he saw the younger man.
"Aragorn!" Boromir slapped him on the back, (in a friendly manly way of course). "They love us!" Aragorn laughed, and let Boromir lead him away.
"Of course. Who wouldn't in these outfits?" They continued a little way until they both realised they had gotten lost in the dense woods behind the stage.
"Um..." Boromir looked round, then back at Aragorn, who groaned.
"Come on, we'll find the way back... just follow the music!" He grabbed Boromir's' hand and led him back towards where he thought the music was coming from. However, that was easier said than done, and they had wandered round for quite some time already.
"Face it, Aragorn. We're lost. And wi' this damned Author against us, we ain't gonna get back any time soon." Boromir sighed and leant against a tree. Aragorn looked around once more, and had to agree, wandering over to Boromir and leaning against the tree next to him. He turned his head to look at the other man.
"We rocked, though." He said, and Boromir laughed and turned his head too.
"Yeah we did."
"You were very good out there..." Aragorn said, then suddenly stopped as images from earlier in forest popped back into his head. "Er..." Boromir seemed to get the idea, and grinned devilishly.
"Oh really? Weren't too bad yourself, old man..." Aragorn growled and suddenly moved so he was standing in front of Boromir, pushing the other man against the tree.
"Old man? I'll show you old..." He muttered and kissed him.
Legolas looked up from where he was dancing with Haldir at the sudden burst of music on stage. Galadriel had arrived. The two elves looked at each other, then grinned and joined in with the cheering as the Lady of Lothlorien appeared on stage. She was wearing a flowing white robe that was more draped across her than worn. Her skin was pale, nearly white, and her hair was frizzed up to stand about a foot from her head. If there had been plug sockets in Middle Earth, she probably would have stuck her fingers in it to get this look. She looked round at the assembled elves, then raised the mic to her mouth as the first strands of Wuthering Heights rang out between the trees.
The hobbits nervously waited backstage for their turn. Merry slapped Frodo's hand away as he started fiddling with his dress.
"Stop fidgeting! You look fine." He hissed, as Frodo looked down at the silver minidress he was wearing.
"Are you sure?" He looked worried and tugged the dress down a little at the back. "It's not too revealing?"
"No." Pippin wandered up, looking fairly pleased with his white sparkly catsuit, with huge flares that covered his feet.
"Pippin, you've grown." Sam said, tugging at his flares. Pippin just grinned and pulled the flares up to reveal high platforms.
"Pippin!" Merry snapped, "Get them off, now!" Pippin smirked, but stepped out of them anyway, just as Galadriel was finishing. Merry surveyed the group. "Well, are we ready?" They all nodded, and as one, they leapt out on stage in a flash of bright light to the intro of Mamma Mia...
Well, what can I say bout this chapter... I wrote it in about two hours; because I got sudden inspiration, and I really really want to see Elrond in leather... maybe that's just me...
To Elendor, sorry but you do know I had to make Haldir camp, don't you? I mean, look at him in the film! I just had to! Please don't hurt me… don't worry, the Haldir/Legolas thing will be explained in the next chapter!
Im making new words up again… this time it's 'beautifuller'…
Oh, and Sunrise? yes, I am exaggerating a bit… apparently that's because im an eccentric person... or so my mother tells me... I'm not *that* eccentric, am I Laura?... Laura?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Haldir?" Legolas shrieked, standing up as Haldir ran over, a big grin on his face, and hugged him before holding him at arms length, leaning in to place a kiss on each cheek, which Legolas returned. Then he turned to the others and held his arms out.
"Welcome to Lothlorien, my friends!" He beamed, and did a little twirl. He was wearing long flowing robes of different colours, a funny hat that was tilted to cover one of his eyes and several dozen bead necklaces about his neck. Oh, and lots of make-up. Legolas thought that maybe there was a tad too much blusher, but he kept that to himself. "But it seems that we have some newcomers to the Golden Wood." The Things were wondering just how camp an elf could be, and also how Boy George came to be known in Middle Earth.
"Um, yeah." Elijah stood up, as Sean was a little busy with Billy threatening to be sick all over him. Merry, Pippin and Frodo were all tucking into some candy floss that Pippin had nicked from Morialand. Dominic, Aragorn, Boromir, Sam and Orlando were all off somewhere doing something (or someone). "We're from..." Haldir held his hand up.
"The Lady is expecting you." He said, as several more elves (of indeterminate gender) appeared behind him, dressed similarly (and some even sillier)
The Fellowship followed Haldir a little warily to the centre of Lothlorien, Legolas walked next to Haldir, their arms linked as they chatted non-stop in Elvish. As the scenery got even beautifuller, they started to notice some odd things in the tall mallorn trees. Round lights of different bright colours, some in sets of three or four, but most of them were separate, dotted round the wood. Only the Things recognized them.
"Why are there disco lights in Lothlorien?" Sean asked, adjusting the nauseas Scotsman hanging off his arm. Haldir just smiled brightly at them, and led them further into the forest.
"Um Haldir..." Frodo struggled to catch up with the strangely dressed elf, finally managing to reach him, and tapping his hip.
"Yes, young hobbit?"
"Er... What about the others? Sam, and Orli and Aragorn and Bo..."
"Worry not, little one." Haldir patted Frodo's head affectionately. "We have search parties looking for them already."
"S... Search parties?" Frodo looked worried, which made Haldir fuss over him even more. Frodo could put up with the 'aw, you're just so adorable' and 'such lovely hair' comments, accompanied with hair stroking and cheek pinching (fortunately the ones on his face). However, as the elves accompanying them decided to get in on it too, he had had enough and he hurried back to join Merry and Pippin
It took them a surprisingly short time to reach the Great Mallorn where the original fellowship first met the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien. It was looking a little... different. The large flet (or talan in Elvish *grins proudly* I researched!) had been cleared, except for some large disco lights at the top, and some large box-like objects at the back. As it was, the lights were turned off, and the wood was silent, but for Haldir's murmured 'karma chameleon' under his breath whenever he wasn't nattering. Legolas was still confused as to what a chameleon actually was.
It was some time later that the other members of the fellowship rejoined them. Aragorn, Boromir and Dominic were all blushing intensely, and sat as far away from each other as possible, and resolutely kept their mouths shut at the others questions. Sam and Orlando gave each other a friendly (and manly) hug before going to sit next to their respective partners. Legolas had disappeared with Haldir somewhere, mentioning something vague about the 'fabulous new fabric just in from Mirkwood' and wouldn't it look 'so amazing with Legolas' leggings'.
"So Dominic..." Merry sat down next to Dominic, who was hugging his (white leather-clad) knees. "Care to tell us where you were all this time?"
"Go away."
"Oh come on Dom. I mean, you were alone in the forest with two very manly testosterone driven men... what could possibly have happened?" Dominic blushed even harder and attempted to merge into the floor. It was failing miserably however. Pippin, seeing how Merry's attempt to get information from Dominic wasn't working, decided to talk to Boromir.
"Hey Borry."
"Hey Pippin."
"So Borry..."
"Yes Pippin?"
"Out in the forest earlier..."
"Yes Pippin..."
"What happened?"
"Well Pippin..."
"Please stop saying my name."
"Why? S'a nice name. Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin Pippin..." Pippin gave up on Boromir.
Frodo, curious as ever (most unnatural for a hobbit), sat next to Aragorn and smiled gently at him. Aragorn gave him an odd look (aw, for me?).
"Strider..." Aragorn gulped. Frodo was using the puppy dog eyes, the 'i'm- so-adorable-you-just-have-to-tell-me-your-deepest-darkest-secrets' voice and his nickname all at once. The ranger wasn't sure he could handle this, (and this coming from a man raised by Elrond and his terrifyingly smug 'I- can-make-you-disappear-off-the-face-of-Middle-Earth-if-you-ever-look-at- Arwen-that-way-again' look.)
"Yes Frodo?"
"What happened, Strider? Why did you leave us?" Aragorn bit his lip as Frodo's puppy dog eyes changed to 'you-really-hurt-me-so-tell-me-everything- NOW-and-that-includes-details' eyes.
"I... It was... Er, I mean... The Author...." He stumbled, as Frodo started to pout.
"The Author? You're not hurt are you?" Frodo looked concerned. That was all it took to break Aragorn's defenses.
"The Author forced us to... you know." He muttered, looking down and blushing redder than the disco lights above them in the trees.
"Forced?" Frodo's voice was just as quiet, and he rested his hand on Aragorn's arm. "Come on now Strider..."
"It was! Really!" Aragorn protested, fiddling with a twig he'd found on the floor. "I didn't want to... I mean, I did but it was the Author... It was!" He said again.
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" Frodo's voice had changed yet again (wow, the Changing Voice of Frodo) into the paternal 'I-know-you- better-than-you-do' voice. Aragorn glared at him.
"I didn't." He said, resolutely, and looked round. "Then the elves found us and told us to come here. We were lucky we'd already finished... some of them wanted to join in."
Legolas reappeared a little later with Haldir, wearing his new tunic (that looked suspiciously like a minidress), arm linked with Haldir's.
"Come on." He beckoned them along, grinning madly as the place suddenly came alive with music. Very loud, very odd music, and there was a sudden shout that rang out through the wood.
"Y M C A!"
Legolas and Haldir looked at each other and giggled, before hurrying towards the source of the music. Aragorn glanced over at Boromir, who was watching him, a strange glint in his eyes (get it out! get it out!). Then they both grinned and raced after the elves. The Things looked at each other and groaned, and then followed the others. The hobbits looked at each other for a second, reached an unspoken agreement and hurried off into the forest.
When the Things arrived at the source of the music, the Great Mallorn, they spotted a large group of elves, crowded together at the base of the tree and looking up at the stage. Most of them were doing erratic arm movements to resemble certain letters. Of course, being elves, most of these were Elvish letters, which was why the dance made no sense to anyone Elvish- illiterate. Aragorn and Boromir were soon located as the music blared out from the huge speakers at the back of the flet, and the disco lights started flashing around the crowd. The elves cheered as four figures ran out on stage. Aragorn led them, looking rather fetching in his builder's outfit. He was followed by Boromir, perfectly suited as the Indian, complete with huge feathery headdress. Celeborn was next, waving a pair of handcuffs seductively as part of his policeman's uniform, next came...
"Elrond?!" Sean exclaimed, as the Elf-Lord strutted on-stage, looking suitably badass in his leather biker's gear. The female elves, and a few males too, cheered, and Elrond gave a gratuitous pelvic thrust (imagining it Laura? oooh I am...). The Things mouths fell open. Billy groaned.
"Guys... Im gonna go and... Lay down..." He muttered before staggering off, waving off Dominic's offer of going with him to make sure he was alright. Onstage, the group had started dancing.
"Young elf! Are you listening to me? I said..." Celeborn took the lead, whilst the others did a suitably cheesy dance behind him.
"This is just embarrassing." Dom shook his head, glancing at Orlando and Elijah, who seemed to be enjoying it immensely and were attempting to slip off into the crowd, probably to go and 'get down their bad selves'. Maybe in more ways than one. Dom glanced around, and noticed Sean grinning at him. No, he was grinning at something behind him. Dominic looked round curiously, and grinning. Legolas and Haldir were dancing together, facing each other and holding hands as they did so.
"You think maybe they're..." Sean raised his eyebrows questioningly. Dom laughed.
"Probably. Care to dance?" Sean just laughed and took Dominic's offered hand (ere, give that back...) and let the younger man lead him into the crowd.
Aragorn was really enjoying himself. His outfit had gone down a treat, and he was fairly certain he'd got more cheers than Elrond. He waited backstage for Boromir as they left the stage for the next act, grinning when he saw the younger man.
"Aragorn!" Boromir slapped him on the back, (in a friendly manly way of course). "They love us!" Aragorn laughed, and let Boromir lead him away.
"Of course. Who wouldn't in these outfits?" They continued a little way until they both realised they had gotten lost in the dense woods behind the stage.
"Um..." Boromir looked round, then back at Aragorn, who groaned.
"Come on, we'll find the way back... just follow the music!" He grabbed Boromir's' hand and led him back towards where he thought the music was coming from. However, that was easier said than done, and they had wandered round for quite some time already.
"Face it, Aragorn. We're lost. And wi' this damned Author against us, we ain't gonna get back any time soon." Boromir sighed and leant against a tree. Aragorn looked around once more, and had to agree, wandering over to Boromir and leaning against the tree next to him. He turned his head to look at the other man.
"We rocked, though." He said, and Boromir laughed and turned his head too.
"Yeah we did."
"You were very good out there..." Aragorn said, then suddenly stopped as images from earlier in forest popped back into his head. "Er..." Boromir seemed to get the idea, and grinned devilishly.
"Oh really? Weren't too bad yourself, old man..." Aragorn growled and suddenly moved so he was standing in front of Boromir, pushing the other man against the tree.
"Old man? I'll show you old..." He muttered and kissed him.
Legolas looked up from where he was dancing with Haldir at the sudden burst of music on stage. Galadriel had arrived. The two elves looked at each other, then grinned and joined in with the cheering as the Lady of Lothlorien appeared on stage. She was wearing a flowing white robe that was more draped across her than worn. Her skin was pale, nearly white, and her hair was frizzed up to stand about a foot from her head. If there had been plug sockets in Middle Earth, she probably would have stuck her fingers in it to get this look. She looked round at the assembled elves, then raised the mic to her mouth as the first strands of Wuthering Heights rang out between the trees.
The hobbits nervously waited backstage for their turn. Merry slapped Frodo's hand away as he started fiddling with his dress.
"Stop fidgeting! You look fine." He hissed, as Frodo looked down at the silver minidress he was wearing.
"Are you sure?" He looked worried and tugged the dress down a little at the back. "It's not too revealing?"
"No." Pippin wandered up, looking fairly pleased with his white sparkly catsuit, with huge flares that covered his feet.
"Pippin, you've grown." Sam said, tugging at his flares. Pippin just grinned and pulled the flares up to reveal high platforms.
"Pippin!" Merry snapped, "Get them off, now!" Pippin smirked, but stepped out of them anyway, just as Galadriel was finishing. Merry surveyed the group. "Well, are we ready?" They all nodded, and as one, they leapt out on stage in a flash of bright light to the intro of Mamma Mia...