Chapter Three: "The Ties That Bind"
Elizabeth Corday, F.R.C.S
Valentines Day was nothing special. Not anymore - since the events of the last years. I
loved my husband every day, no day any more or any less than the others, and I didn't
have to prove it to him nor him to me. Not since I nearly lost him, not since he nearly
missed out on seeing our beautiful baby daughter. It does make you take each day at a
time, and try to make something in it worthwhile. That's why I do what I do. How easily
that can all come crashing to a halt was not something I was prepared to accept, until I
was forced to.
County General Hospital Surgical Floor, 14/2/02 9:55am
Ella was up all night. I was not in the best temper. I haven't been in the best temper since I
was born, though I's undoubtedly one of the best things to have ever happened to me,
asides of Mark that is. Being at work was something closely resembling hell at that
moment in time, it's the last place on earth I can be bothered being. That's just not like
me. I was exhausted. Being a mother does that to you I guess. Shame no one warns you
just how bad it is. I was walking down the corridor outside the OR, away from Romano
and yet another pointless argument. I needed some time to think, to clear my head and to
try and recover my composure a little. He really managed to rattle me. After all these
years, he can still do that. In the blissful silence, my ears are assaulted by my pager. I
delved reluctantly into the scrubs pocket and fiId it out. I was being paged to the ER. This
had better be important, I thought angrily, storming towards the stairs to the ER.
"What's going on?"
They looked up stunned at my barked question. Benton began to explain to me as I
walked over to the gurney. I hadn't gone more than two steps towards the patient when it
happened. Light and heat and sound exploded into my mind with uncontrollable force and
I was momentarily stunned. I felt my back hit something solid and sank down in relief,
trying to comprehend what had happened. Dust stung my frightened eyes as I stared
around, saw the devastation, and realised with a horrifying jolt what this was. Adrenaline
kicked in instantly, fighting with my shocked body to let me escape. This conflict lasted
mere seconds before there was a second wave of sound and movement. Maybe they were
the same, I couldn't distinuguish between my senses, they were all overloaded. I screwed
my irritated eyes shut and held my breath until it was over. Glass, metal shards, plaster and
wood rained down on us. I felt my chest constrict, tighten in reaction to trauma, and I
fought for every breath, fought to stay awake. It wasn't going to beat me. I don't know
how long it was after the second explosion when my ears heard another person breathing,
somewhere in the room. The pain in my chest was intensifying, I couldn't speak or shout,
I couldn't even move. My survival instinct was stronger than ever. I was a mother and Ella
needed me. There was nothing I could do though, I was trapped, trapped by my own weak
body. Frustration rose in me, and with no reasonable outlet, only served to make my
breathing harder. Relief coursed in waves through my veins when I heard movement and I
was practically ecstatic when I heard Benton shout out.
"Elizabeth? Are you alright?"
He was by my side instantaneously it seemed. I tried to smile weakly at him for
reassurance, but he looked more worried than I'd ever seen him. I could see the thoughts
running in his mind and they echoed mine exactly. I didn't know what he was going to do
then though.
"Never felt better..."
He held my shoulders as I gasped for air. Humour as a defence is an age-old trick, but
here only worsened my situation.
"Can't...breathe..."
I finished, gasping and clawing at nothing desperately, as my lungs struggled for air. Reality
was beginning to slip away from me, and I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't strong
enough to fight it anymore. my eyes closed and my head fell forwards onto his shoulder.
"Elizabeth. Lizzie. Are you trapped? Can you move?"
His voice was becoming more and more urgent. I wasn't trapped, wasn't pinned by
anything physical. I managed to move my head against his shoulder to indicate no. His
muscles tensed. I think I probably realised then the plan forming in his mind.
"We have to get out of here,"
"I can't...can't..."
It wasn't in my nature to give up, but my tortured lungs were begging to be released from
this agony, my whole body wracked with pain from lack of oxygen. I felt the loose rubble
swept aside off my legs, but wasn't expecting what came next. Strong arms lifted me off
the ground. Taken completely by surprise, I coughed abruptly at being disturbed, then
finally I passed out. It was a blessed relief. I don't remember anything that happened
between there and the hospital bed, and I'm quite glad of that.
Northwestern ER, 14/2/02 16:52
"Hi,"
I looked up at the voice from the bed, still feeling very fragile. Breathing was easier,
thought my chest still hurt. Bruised ribs - it would for a while. Benton entered and sat by
my bed, looking decidedly nervous and very shaken. It was unusual for someone normally
so together. It was difficult to hold together under this kind of pressure, it had to be.
"How are you?"
I smiled up at him pathetically. I wasn't the Lizzie he was used to and I could see that
frightened him.
"Been better,"
"They keeping you in?"
The nod was barely there. I sensed there was something he wanted to talk to me about,
something he wanted to say to me that he wasn't. He couldn't upset me, that damage had
already been done. I feared for everyone's lives, I feared for everyone of my colleagues. I
feared for my husband and my daughter and wondered if we'd ever be a family again.
"Just for safety's sake,"
I'd suffered a heavy blow to the chest. They had to keep an eye on that, in case there were
further complications from the impact. Benton laid his hand on mine supportively, looking
straight into my tired eyes. I'm sure he could see the worry that lay there, but had as yet
gone unexpressed.
"Elizabeth, there's something I have to tell you,"
I cast my eyes aside, immeadiately filled with dread, and tightened my fingers round his
for reassurance there would be someone there when my world fell apart.
"I know what you're about to say. Mark didn't make it did he?"
I made the pre-emptive strike, and the mournful look in his eyes told me it was true. His
voice was very small.
"He hasn't been found yet,"
Silent tears flowed unbidded from my eyes. If he hasn't been found by now, the chances of
him being alive are slim. And getting slimmer every second. With every beat of my
pounding heart, my husband slipped further from my life, I could sense it. Grief began to
flow in my veins like ice. Somehow through my tears, I gathered enough strength to ask
the same question undoubtedly on every survivors mind.
"He's not the only one is he?"
Benton shook his head sadly. I trembled from head to toe, chilled and shocked by the days
events, and by the prospect of losing so much so quickly.
"Tell me, please, I want to know,"
He lowered his head, clearly haunted by what he'd seen at the site earlier. I didn't know
then what it was, but I understood later why it was.
"Peter?"
Taking a deep breath, I questioned his silence. Composure regained, he spoke quietly.
"They've found three others so far."
"Who?"
He paused notably. I closed my eyes, tasting the salt of my tears on my lips, and tensed
myself for the answer.
"Cleo, Carter and Kovac,"
I stifled a cry for him. What a tragic double blow. My heart broke all over again for him in
that instant. I watched him was he continued, pain in his words that hadn't been
previously evident.
"Weaver, Romano, Malucci, Haleh and Lily are still missing. Abby, Jerry, Yosh and Chen
got out alive,"
There was some good news, but the grief still hit like a train. Time stopped for me then,
my life ground to a jarring halt.
"I'm sorry, Peter,"
"Yeah, me too,"
I rested my head back against the pillow. I think I ran out of tears in the minutes that
followed. I haven't cried so intensely in my life. I never want to again. There was no way of putting this back together, no way of mending this, and as a doctor I felt completely helpless. This wasn't an illness, and no number of stitches would ever heal these wounds. I was alone and helpless. Benton stayed, just watching me as I drifted into a fitful sleep, always holding my hand tight in his own for reassurance. What else could he do?
Elizabeth Corday, F.R.C.S
Valentines Day was nothing special. Not anymore - since the events of the last years. I
loved my husband every day, no day any more or any less than the others, and I didn't
have to prove it to him nor him to me. Not since I nearly lost him, not since he nearly
missed out on seeing our beautiful baby daughter. It does make you take each day at a
time, and try to make something in it worthwhile. That's why I do what I do. How easily
that can all come crashing to a halt was not something I was prepared to accept, until I
was forced to.
County General Hospital Surgical Floor, 14/2/02 9:55am
Ella was up all night. I was not in the best temper. I haven't been in the best temper since I
was born, though I's undoubtedly one of the best things to have ever happened to me,
asides of Mark that is. Being at work was something closely resembling hell at that
moment in time, it's the last place on earth I can be bothered being. That's just not like
me. I was exhausted. Being a mother does that to you I guess. Shame no one warns you
just how bad it is. I was walking down the corridor outside the OR, away from Romano
and yet another pointless argument. I needed some time to think, to clear my head and to
try and recover my composure a little. He really managed to rattle me. After all these
years, he can still do that. In the blissful silence, my ears are assaulted by my pager. I
delved reluctantly into the scrubs pocket and fiId it out. I was being paged to the ER. This
had better be important, I thought angrily, storming towards the stairs to the ER.
"What's going on?"
They looked up stunned at my barked question. Benton began to explain to me as I
walked over to the gurney. I hadn't gone more than two steps towards the patient when it
happened. Light and heat and sound exploded into my mind with uncontrollable force and
I was momentarily stunned. I felt my back hit something solid and sank down in relief,
trying to comprehend what had happened. Dust stung my frightened eyes as I stared
around, saw the devastation, and realised with a horrifying jolt what this was. Adrenaline
kicked in instantly, fighting with my shocked body to let me escape. This conflict lasted
mere seconds before there was a second wave of sound and movement. Maybe they were
the same, I couldn't distinuguish between my senses, they were all overloaded. I screwed
my irritated eyes shut and held my breath until it was over. Glass, metal shards, plaster and
wood rained down on us. I felt my chest constrict, tighten in reaction to trauma, and I
fought for every breath, fought to stay awake. It wasn't going to beat me. I don't know
how long it was after the second explosion when my ears heard another person breathing,
somewhere in the room. The pain in my chest was intensifying, I couldn't speak or shout,
I couldn't even move. My survival instinct was stronger than ever. I was a mother and Ella
needed me. There was nothing I could do though, I was trapped, trapped by my own weak
body. Frustration rose in me, and with no reasonable outlet, only served to make my
breathing harder. Relief coursed in waves through my veins when I heard movement and I
was practically ecstatic when I heard Benton shout out.
"Elizabeth? Are you alright?"
He was by my side instantaneously it seemed. I tried to smile weakly at him for
reassurance, but he looked more worried than I'd ever seen him. I could see the thoughts
running in his mind and they echoed mine exactly. I didn't know what he was going to do
then though.
"Never felt better..."
He held my shoulders as I gasped for air. Humour as a defence is an age-old trick, but
here only worsened my situation.
"Can't...breathe..."
I finished, gasping and clawing at nothing desperately, as my lungs struggled for air. Reality
was beginning to slip away from me, and I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't strong
enough to fight it anymore. my eyes closed and my head fell forwards onto his shoulder.
"Elizabeth. Lizzie. Are you trapped? Can you move?"
His voice was becoming more and more urgent. I wasn't trapped, wasn't pinned by
anything physical. I managed to move my head against his shoulder to indicate no. His
muscles tensed. I think I probably realised then the plan forming in his mind.
"We have to get out of here,"
"I can't...can't..."
It wasn't in my nature to give up, but my tortured lungs were begging to be released from
this agony, my whole body wracked with pain from lack of oxygen. I felt the loose rubble
swept aside off my legs, but wasn't expecting what came next. Strong arms lifted me off
the ground. Taken completely by surprise, I coughed abruptly at being disturbed, then
finally I passed out. It was a blessed relief. I don't remember anything that happened
between there and the hospital bed, and I'm quite glad of that.
Northwestern ER, 14/2/02 16:52
"Hi,"
I looked up at the voice from the bed, still feeling very fragile. Breathing was easier,
thought my chest still hurt. Bruised ribs - it would for a while. Benton entered and sat by
my bed, looking decidedly nervous and very shaken. It was unusual for someone normally
so together. It was difficult to hold together under this kind of pressure, it had to be.
"How are you?"
I smiled up at him pathetically. I wasn't the Lizzie he was used to and I could see that
frightened him.
"Been better,"
"They keeping you in?"
The nod was barely there. I sensed there was something he wanted to talk to me about,
something he wanted to say to me that he wasn't. He couldn't upset me, that damage had
already been done. I feared for everyone's lives, I feared for everyone of my colleagues. I
feared for my husband and my daughter and wondered if we'd ever be a family again.
"Just for safety's sake,"
I'd suffered a heavy blow to the chest. They had to keep an eye on that, in case there were
further complications from the impact. Benton laid his hand on mine supportively, looking
straight into my tired eyes. I'm sure he could see the worry that lay there, but had as yet
gone unexpressed.
"Elizabeth, there's something I have to tell you,"
I cast my eyes aside, immeadiately filled with dread, and tightened my fingers round his
for reassurance there would be someone there when my world fell apart.
"I know what you're about to say. Mark didn't make it did he?"
I made the pre-emptive strike, and the mournful look in his eyes told me it was true. His
voice was very small.
"He hasn't been found yet,"
Silent tears flowed unbidded from my eyes. If he hasn't been found by now, the chances of
him being alive are slim. And getting slimmer every second. With every beat of my
pounding heart, my husband slipped further from my life, I could sense it. Grief began to
flow in my veins like ice. Somehow through my tears, I gathered enough strength to ask
the same question undoubtedly on every survivors mind.
"He's not the only one is he?"
Benton shook his head sadly. I trembled from head to toe, chilled and shocked by the days
events, and by the prospect of losing so much so quickly.
"Tell me, please, I want to know,"
He lowered his head, clearly haunted by what he'd seen at the site earlier. I didn't know
then what it was, but I understood later why it was.
"Peter?"
Taking a deep breath, I questioned his silence. Composure regained, he spoke quietly.
"They've found three others so far."
"Who?"
He paused notably. I closed my eyes, tasting the salt of my tears on my lips, and tensed
myself for the answer.
"Cleo, Carter and Kovac,"
I stifled a cry for him. What a tragic double blow. My heart broke all over again for him in
that instant. I watched him was he continued, pain in his words that hadn't been
previously evident.
"Weaver, Romano, Malucci, Haleh and Lily are still missing. Abby, Jerry, Yosh and Chen
got out alive,"
There was some good news, but the grief still hit like a train. Time stopped for me then,
my life ground to a jarring halt.
"I'm sorry, Peter,"
"Yeah, me too,"
I rested my head back against the pillow. I think I ran out of tears in the minutes that
followed. I haven't cried so intensely in my life. I never want to again. There was no way of putting this back together, no way of mending this, and as a doctor I felt completely helpless. This wasn't an illness, and no number of stitches would ever heal these wounds. I was alone and helpless. Benton stayed, just watching me as I drifted into a fitful sleep, always holding my hand tight in his own for reassurance. What else could he do?