The image of Kirsty huddled on the ground where Kane had pushed her out of
the car, was still vividly imprinted in his memory. She had sat there with
tears running down her cheeks and such a look of disbelief and hurt that it
had made Kane's heart break.
As he had driven home, he had repeated to himself over and over again, like a mantra, that Kirsty was with her family and better off without him. But it hadn't worked, and right now he was lying on his bed, not even noticing the tears falling on to his pillow. He was furious with himself for being so weak and mean. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but as she had hugged him for the last time and told him she wasn't scared, he had known that he would have to be cruel to be kind. And so he had been, but it hadn't made it any easier, only more painful. He wondered if she had believed all of the horrible things he had said to her to make her get out of the car, and stop looking at him with her big brown eyes full of tears. She needed her family and he hoped they would welcome her back. But he didn't know, couldn't be sure, and he was worried about her. There were too many thoughts and questions running through his mind, and he couldn't think clearly. He covered his face with his hands as if he could shut his out emotions, but all that he succeeded in doing was realising that he had hurt far too many people again, especially Kirsty, and that he hated himself for it.
He needed to get away, go inland, to the coast, anywhere but stay here. He had a place at the TAFE College for the maritime course, but if he was quick he might be able to get a transfer to another location. He jumped up from his bed and pulled down an oversized bag from his wardrobe, proceeding to stuff it with his clothes and the few possessions he owned. He didn't even bother to glance back through the open doorway as he ran down the stairs. However, just before he got through the door he remembered that his aunt probably deserved to know what he was doing, in case she was worried or needed to get in touch. He set his bag down in the hall by the front door, and went through to the tiny kitchen and diner, where he searched for a pen and the small notepad his aunt always kept next to the phone for messages. He sat down and quickly wrote a note detailing that he had had to leave and that he thanked his aunt for letting him stay with her, and everything she had done for him. After everything his dad and brother had put her through he figured that she would probably be relieved to see him go.
He left the note on the table. As he sat there with the pen in his hand and the paper in front of him, he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't take the chance that Kirsty had really believed all of the nasty things he had said, and that she didn't know how much he really did love her. She had changed his life; given him direction and motivation, and more than anything he wanted to do the same for her. A final parting gift he thought with a grim smile. As he got into his car, he knew that there was one more thing he had to do before he was ready to leave.
As he had driven home, he had repeated to himself over and over again, like a mantra, that Kirsty was with her family and better off without him. But it hadn't worked, and right now he was lying on his bed, not even noticing the tears falling on to his pillow. He was furious with himself for being so weak and mean. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but as she had hugged him for the last time and told him she wasn't scared, he had known that he would have to be cruel to be kind. And so he had been, but it hadn't made it any easier, only more painful. He wondered if she had believed all of the horrible things he had said to her to make her get out of the car, and stop looking at him with her big brown eyes full of tears. She needed her family and he hoped they would welcome her back. But he didn't know, couldn't be sure, and he was worried about her. There were too many thoughts and questions running through his mind, and he couldn't think clearly. He covered his face with his hands as if he could shut his out emotions, but all that he succeeded in doing was realising that he had hurt far too many people again, especially Kirsty, and that he hated himself for it.
He needed to get away, go inland, to the coast, anywhere but stay here. He had a place at the TAFE College for the maritime course, but if he was quick he might be able to get a transfer to another location. He jumped up from his bed and pulled down an oversized bag from his wardrobe, proceeding to stuff it with his clothes and the few possessions he owned. He didn't even bother to glance back through the open doorway as he ran down the stairs. However, just before he got through the door he remembered that his aunt probably deserved to know what he was doing, in case she was worried or needed to get in touch. He set his bag down in the hall by the front door, and went through to the tiny kitchen and diner, where he searched for a pen and the small notepad his aunt always kept next to the phone for messages. He sat down and quickly wrote a note detailing that he had had to leave and that he thanked his aunt for letting him stay with her, and everything she had done for him. After everything his dad and brother had put her through he figured that she would probably be relieved to see him go.
He left the note on the table. As he sat there with the pen in his hand and the paper in front of him, he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't take the chance that Kirsty had really believed all of the nasty things he had said, and that she didn't know how much he really did love her. She had changed his life; given him direction and motivation, and more than anything he wanted to do the same for her. A final parting gift he thought with a grim smile. As he got into his car, he knew that there was one more thing he had to do before he was ready to leave.