Chapter 5
"Hello, Vegeta!!" Goku said, and he flew over, almost stranging Bones. "Get that mutt away from me before I kill it!!" Vegeta screamed in a raw sound. "Behave, Honey." Bulma said to Vegeta. "Mind if we join you in eating?" Goku said. Bulma shook her head. "Though with 2 saiyans and 2 half saiyans, it might be difficult to have enough." "I'll say!!" Vegeta yelled. "I get first pickings, because my wife bought the food." "My wife buys food too." Goku said. "And food for Bones. and if me and Bones dont get what we want, we tend to bite people." Vegeta's eyes got wide. "B-B-Bite people?" Bones hopped up on the bench beside Vegeta and Bulma. He looked right at Vegeta. "Excuse me, Bulma, but I have to go." And he flew away and perched on the Merry Go Round. "Vegeta!!" Bulma called. "Please come back! I can't survive with these people without you!!" Chi Chi was mixing up some beer, when out of the blue, Picollo came. "Do I smell Beer?" He asked. "That trash bag is getting pretty hot." "What are you doing here?" Bulma asked. "Veggie dropped you in a treatment center, right?" "No jail can hold me." Picollo explained. "Oh." Bulma said. She went over to the Merry Go Round. "You get RIGHT BACK over there RIGHT NOW!! Goku and the rest are soooooo annoying, I can't survive alone!! And lookit you-- your rediculous, scared of a small little puppy dog. " Vegeta frowned. "It is not just a puppy dog, it is a Pit Bull, and it will bite me if I don't let Kakarott eat first." Goku looked over at them evilly. "See!!" Vegeta said. "He already told that dog to come over here and rip us apart!!" "Alright," Bulma said. "If you won't come on your own, I'll have to DRAG you!!" She grabbed a part of Vegeta's spandex and started to pull. Vegeta grabbed on to a merry go round bar and held on tight. "COME ON!!!!" Bulma screeched. "NO!!" Vegeta countered. "I'll never let go!" Bulma pulled for a while, but sand was getting in her shoes so she stopped. When she let go of the tight rubber material, it snapped Vegeta's leg. "Ouch!!" He said. "Fine." Bulma said. "You win. But don't whine to me when your hungry! But we might through you a few bread crumbs!" Vegeta was sad. He was sooooo hungry. He decided he would have to KILL Bones before he would get his lunch. He pointed at Bones, who growled at him. A small Ki Blast formed on his finger and shot out. JUst at the right moment, Bones jumped up. The horrible blast shot out and hit.... "MY HOUSE!!" Goku wailed. Vegeta had forgotten Kakarott's house was behind the park. Bulma laughed as the house was ingulfed in flame. "Nice shot, Vegeta!" She yelled. He gave a thumbs up and watched as the house burnt to the ground. Goten and Goku quickly flew and tried to rescue certain things. Goten came out with his Game Boy and a few Games, and a scorch mark on his face. "Goku!" Chi Chi yelled. But he didn't come out. "Did daddy go in?" Goten asked. Chi Chi nodded. But he didn't come out. "Go see if he's in there." Trunks said to Vegeta. "Maybe he got burned up." Vegeta shrugged. "Maybe god answered my prayers. Lemme go check!" And he flew over to the ruins of the house. Goku was sitting in the middle of the living room watching T.V. "This is the last of T.V i'll ever see." He said to Vegeta. Then a spark jumped on his clothes and caught him on fire. "OW!" He yelled, flailing his arms and legs. "Help me!!" He screeched. "OWWWWW!!" Vegeta just stood there laughing, while Goku ran out of the house, a huge ball of fire. He flew after him. "Goku!!" Chi Chi yelled, and poured alchohal on him to try and put the fire out. Big mistake. The fire flared up over Goku's face, arms and everywhere else. "Stop Drop and Roll, daddy!!" Goten said. "Hurry!!" Goku started rolling. Vegeta decided to be real funny, and picked up Bones. "NO, VEGETA!!" Bulma screamed. Too late. Vegeta tossed Bones on top of Goku, and Bones caught on fire. It was only a matter of minutes before you could smell burning fur, and Bones was dead. Goku's fire was out from rolling. He was one huge 3rd degree burn. "Owwww...." He said. Vegeta looked at him. "Geez. You dont look so good." He said.
"The hospital said Goku can get out of the hospital in about 2 days." Bulma said. "His burns were pretty bad, but they need his room." Vegeta grunted while looking through a magazine. "And why do you think I wanna know that?" Bulma frowned. "Because Goku and his family need somewhere to stay. They're house was burned down, and let me remind you it was YOUR Ki Blast." "So? Please lemme alone! I'm reading!!" Bulma ripped the magazine away. "Vegeta, I told them they could stay here until they find a place. Goku said he would like to use your gravity room to help with his training when he gets over being bedridden." Vegeta's eyes got wide as dinner plates. "Kakarotts family--staying here? No way!! I've already got one nagging lady living with me!! Chi Chi will be like....double it!!" "Vegeta, our house has 2 bedrooms that we don't even use. It's a huge place. C'mon." "And think about the little brat!! Iv'e already got one living here!!" "Trunks won't be much of a problem because we'll dump him outside or at his grandparents alot." Vegeta groaned. "But Bulma, My gravity room is....MINE!! I train there every day!! It's set for MY level! He'll screw it up!! You built it for ME!! Not Kakarott!!" "Vegeta, what I say goes! I bought the house, I work to keep us from losing the house, and I don't CARE about your gravity room! You and Goku can train together!!" Shge giggled when she said the last part. "No!!" Vegeta screeched. "Fags do that!! I'm notta fag!!" Bulma was laughing really hard. "Vegeta, there's no problem with being a fag." "I'm not a fag!! I have a WIFE in case you forgot!!" Bulma stopped laughing. "Okay, whatever. But maybe this will help the rift between you and Goku, huh?" Vegeta crossed his arms. "I can't beleive you. You didn't even ask me first. I thought I lived here." "You do, but that doesn't mean you matter much." Bulma said. Then Bulma walked out. Vegeta was mad.
"Vegeta, go help carry Goku's stretcher and the Son's stuff." Vegeta sat there and ignored her. "I'm so mad at you right now I could blow your head off." Bulma slapped Vegeta's head. "Go carry Goku in!! He's on a stretcher!! He can't walk!!" Vegeta angrily trudged outside, where Goten was lifting up one end of the stretcher. "You get the other end, Trunks' dad." He told Vegeta. Vegeta looked at Goten sourly. He picked it up. "Hiii....." Goku said. "Vegeta, thanks for burning my house down. Now I get to take over yours!!" Goku said, and he laughed maniaclly. Picollo popped out of the trash sack. "Hi guys. What are you doing here?" Vegeta dropped Goku's stretcher, and his head bumped the ground. "Ow!!" He said. "Bulma, Vegeta's being mean!!" Vegeta picked up the stretcher end as Bulma came out. "He's lying!! He's lying!!" Vegeta said. "Goku, how come your all read and black?" Picollo asked. "I got horribly burned." "Oh." Picollo said. "Guess what I had for dinner last night? Some guy threw me a hamburger because I was crying." Vegeta told Picollo to go away. "I see how you are." Picollo said in his boring voice and went under his trash sack. Vegeta carried Goku into one of the guest rooms and tossed him on the bed. "Ow!!" He said. "Could I get some water!!" "No!" Vegeta said. "I'm not your slave." "VEGETA!!" Bulma said. "You get that nice man some water right now or I'll unplug the gravity room!" Vegeta slumped over and walked into the kitchen. He filled a jelly jar glass with water. "I will not be a slave in my own home." He grumbled. Bulma was washing dishes. "No, Chi Chi will do the rest. But If you dont be extra nice to Goku, I'll wring your neck." Vegeta mocked her and brought the glass to Goku. "Thanks, buddy!!" goku said when he brought it in. "I'm not your buddy!!" Vegeta growled. "And I will not get anything else for you. You have a woman, make her do it." Goku sighed. "I was awfully sad when you killed my dog, Bones." Vegeta laughed. "All in a days work." He said. "Well, you know what Chi Chi did when you did that?" Vegeta didn't care. "What?" He asked. "Cried?" Goku laughed and shook his head. "No. Chi Chi!! Come show Vegeta our suprise!!" "Yes, Goku!!" Vegeta said. Then he was horrified. A large, mean looking dog stalked in, dragging Chi Chi. It was on a chain and had a red spiky collar around it's neck. It was a doberman. Not one of those miniature ones, this one was full sized. It had huge teeth, cropped ears, and a cropped tail. It had huge muscles. "Meet Rex." Goku said. "Our new dog!!"
Vegeta screamed and screeched. He raced out of the room at top speed. "Bulma, Bulma!!" He cried. He ran into the kitchen and hid behind her. "What is it, Veggie?" She asked. "Lookk.....a.....b-b-big doggy!!" "Nonsense!!" She said. "There's no dogs in this house. Calm down!!" But Vegeta was shaking all over. "Fine, I'll go see." Bulma said. "Stay here." "No!" Vegeta said. "If your gone, who will protect me?!" Bulma didnt have to go. The dog stalked in, dragging Chi Chi. "Oh, hi puppy!!" Bulma said. Vegeta screamed and burst into tears. Bulma was petting Rex, and Chi Chi wasn't moving. She was fainted. Rex set his eyes on Vegeta and he started to growl. "He doesn't like me!!" "Yes he does!!" Bulma said. "Come and pet him, and he'll like you!!" Rexie snapped and barked at Vegeta. Vegeta cried harder. "I think you needa nap." Bulma said. Vegeta wailed. "I'll lock the door so Rex can't get in." Vegeta walked into his room and Bulma locked the door.
They were all watching Rex catch the Frisbee outside. Except for Goku; he was still hurt. But even Picollo and Vegeta were out there, because Bulma had dragged them out for a barbecue. Vegeta was sitting way up in a tree where he was hoping Rex couldenb;t see him. Everyone else was under the tree, in the shade because it was hot. Trunks and Goten were playing with Rex. Bulma was flipping the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Vegeta usually did that, but he was too much of a chicken sh*t right now. "Vegeta, if you don't come down from there right now, you dont get any barbecue." Bulma said. "Are you trying to starve me?" He responded. "First I didn't get lunch; and now this!! I'm a saiyan!! I need food!! This is an outrage!! I'm so mad!! Makes me wanna scream, but doggy will get me!! AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" His voice was making that croaky sound it does on the show when he gets upset. "This dog will not hurt you!!" Trunks said. "Look daddy, he's really nice!! He wants you to come down!"
Rex was barking up at him. The kids thought Rex was happy; but Vegeta knew the dog wanted him to come down so he could rip out his intestines and chew through his liver until it gushed fluids. "Hey, you stupid animal! You don't bark at me! Leave me alone!!" He called. Rex continued to bark. "Vegeta, dont call Rex a stupid animal!!" Picollo said. "We're best friends!! Aren't we, Rexie?" Rex jumped on Picollo and began biting him. He ripped long strips of Picollo's green flesh. "Ow!! Gee, that hurts!!" Picollo yelled. He blasted a S. Beam Cannon at Rex, not hitting him but scaring him enough to back off. "Are you alright?!" Bulma asked. Picollo nodded. "Oh, yeah. Nothing a little beer can't fix." And he grabbed a beer and began drinking it. "Don't you at least want a Band-aid?" Bulma asked, holding one out. "Don't mind if I do." He said, and ate it. "Okay......?" Bulma said, and flipped the Barbecue. Vegeta thought the barbecue smelled so good. He was drooling everywhere. "Can't I have some?" He called. "NO!!" Chi Chi said. "None!! Your a chicken!!" "Shut up you stupid whore!!" He yelled at her. "I'll bring you some!!" Bulma said. She took a plate and put on it Barbecued chicken, some barbecued hot dogs, a barbecued hamburger, some coleslaw, some sweet potatoes and a Dr. Pepper. "Can you come down and get it?" She asked. "I'm not a good tree cilmber, especially when the first branch is 40 feet above me." Vegeta hesitated. "Are you sure the dog won't kill me?" Bulma rolled her eyes. "No. Now come down here and sit and eat with us. We miss your company." "Yeah right!!" Chi Chi hollered. Bulma gave her the finger and Vegeta called her a whore. "Chain up that awful mutt and then maybe I will." "Trunks, put a chain on that dog so your dad will come down." Trunks groaned, but he did what he was told to. Vegeta slowlt floated down and grabbed his plate. "Where do I sit at?" He asked. Bulma pointed. "Right here, by me."Vegeta parked his @$$. He started eating, watching Rex the whole time. It was tugging at the chain and making a horrible racket. Spit flew from it's ugly lips. Trunks and Goten were eating their dinner right by it. Vegeta hoped it would bite Goten. It didn't. It bit Picollo when he tried to pet it. But he still insisted that Rex was his best friend. For a second, he got distracted from watching Rex. Maybe it was because he noticed there was a fly in his hair, maybe because Bulma was doing something he thought was hot, maybe because Picollo had disappeared again. But whatever it was, it distracted him long enough that Rex broke his chain!! Vegeta looked up again. "OMG!!" He gasped. He shook Bulma. "Lookit, Lookit it's gone, it busted the chain and its gone and OMG its going to come over here and eat me..." His voice did the croaky thing again. "Oh look!!" Bulma said, turning around. "He LIKES you!!" Vegeta leaped 3 feet into the air. "Yipes!!" He said, and grabbed his plate. He flew up into the tree, while Rex snapped at his heels. It grabbed ahold of his spandex and held on as Vegeta flew up, but Vegeta didn't notice. "Ah, the safety of my tree.". He saw carved in Childish letters was the word Patty carved in the tree. Picollo had named the tree Patty. Vegeta patted the tree and blinked. When he opened his eye, drool dropped in it. "Oh my." He said. "I think my tree has sprung a leak." He looked up into the face of REX !!!!!! "Dear old Patty, why have you betrayed me?!" He yelled as he leaped from the tree. He landed down hard and both his knees snapped. Bulma sighed. "Bring me the phone." She said. She dialed a number. "Hello? Dende? "
Dende walked into the front door. "Whats wrong?" He asked. "Is Picollo wasted again? Another hangover?" Bulma shook her head and lead him outside. Vegeta was sitting there in his boxer shorts, staring at the dog chained to the wall. His knees were swollen and purple and bloody. He was wailing. "Hi Vegeta!!" Dende said. "Whats wrong?" Vegeta wiled someore. "He broke his legs!!" Trunks said. "It's awfully funny how daddy broke his legs. I wonder if I can break mine?" Dende rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess, you want me to heal you?" Bulma walked out with an ice pack. "Yes, you stupid green fag! Now do it!" "Bein' greennn....." Dende sighed. "Everyone misunderstands me." "Shut up and heal me!" Vegeta said. "No can do." Dende said. "Not 20 minutes ago I went out to the park and there was this dog there. He was dead so I took his to the hospital and they jumpstarted his heart up, then I healed him."
"What did this dog look like? And why can't you heal my busted bones?!" Dende shrugged. "He was a little Pit Bull. I was so totally WASTED I thought he was worth it. So I can't heal you. I'm too wasted to heal 2 people in the space of one hour." Vegeta screamed. "My poor ol busted bones." Bulma grabbed one leg. "Maybe if we can set your bones, they wont hurt so much until the hour is up." She fiddled with his bones!! They rubbed together, grinded, and chipped against eachother.
"OW!!! GOD D*MN!!! OW~~~!!!" He screeched. When she was finished 'setting' the bones, they were horribly mishapen. "You made it worse!" He wailed. "Ow!!" Rex jumped down from the tree casually. He saw Vegeta on the ground and his horrible mishapen knees. He began running toward him. "No way!!" Bulma yelled. "If you kill my husband, there's no one to do my dirty work!!" She hurled a rock at Rex. He ran all the way in the back of the yard and sat there, shivering. He had a big ol purple lump on his haid.
"I can try." Dende said. "But I dont know if it will work." He spread his hands over Vegeta. He expected Vegeta to turn green and be healed. But to his suprise, his legs bucked and landed hard on the concrete patio. "OWCH!!!" Vegeta yelled. "Whoops." Dende said and laughed like a retard. "I acidently used my hand-moving stuff power. Sorry!!" Vegeta grabbed Dende around the neck. "Listen up, you little green pimp!! If you dont heal me RIGHT NOW, I'll kill you. To H*ll with earth!" Dende stomped on Vegeta's knees. Vegeta gritted his teeth but didn't let go. So Dende kicked him in the nuts. A tear dripped from his left eye, but he didn't let go. So he grabbed the snapped knee bones and rubbed them together. Vegeta let go, and he fainted. "Oh dear." Said Chi Chi. "He died." "He didn't die, mommy you whore." Goten said. "He's just fainted!!" Bulma put a rag on his head, then put some smelling salts under his nose. She expacted him to wake up, say 'Nope, that ain't gonna do it' like Flanders on the simpsons, and faint again, but he sat upright. Vegeta noticed that one of the bones was sticking out of his skin. "Hurry up, dende!" He said. "My poor ol busted bones hurts!" "I'm taking him to the hospital!" Bulma said. "Dende will probley be so WASTED that--" "Speaking of wasted, lemme go talk to Picollo for a second...." Dende said. Bulma rolled her eyes. "As I was saying, he'll probley use his lil' 'Hand moving thingy' and hurt him even more. So Trunks, fly me to the hospital!!" Trunks shrugged. "I'm sorry, but you and daddy are simply to fat. I'm only five years old,and that would hurt." Bulma shrugged. "Aw well. Veggie, do you want Corny dogs or hamburgers for dinner tomarrow?" "Advil." He replied. "Your talking about dinner at a time like this? I'm dying!!" Bulma shook her head. "Your not dying, Vegeta. Your bones are just busted and your bleeding pretty bad. Maybe from now on you'll stop jumping out of that tree." "Trunks, carry me to my bedroom." He said. "I want to die in my own room, surrounded by my own house." Trunks struggled and carried him in. Everyone, including Rex, followed. "This is all I need." He said. "Goodbye, cruel world." He closed his eyes, but they popped open again. "And maybe some orange juice, but thats all I need." Bulma got up and got him some orange juice. He picked out all the pulp and drank it. Then he closed his eyes. Not 5 seconds later, they opened. "Can I have the remote?" He said, pointing to the T.V remote. "I decided I dont wanna die right now." Trunks gave it to him. He clicked it onto the history channel. "Whats going on?" Goku said. "I wanna know!!" Dende ran in."Oh hi Goku. You look great!" "Picollo gave me some--" He stopped. "Some....Perkiset!! Yeah thats it!!" (Perkiset is a medicine you can buy that perks you up, like speed cept over the counter) He put his hands on Vegeta and healed him. "Great!!" Bulma said. "Now, Vegeta, you can change our sheets because you got blood on them." vegeta changed the sheets because he likes to.
Dende was passed out on the floor. But nobody cared. He was so totally WASTED that nobody wanted to bother picking him up. But nobody had seen Picollo in a little while. But there was a strange smell coming from the ally behind the Capsule Corp. where the trash bag was. "I figure Picollo's wasted." Goku said, in his wheelchair. He wasn't supposed to be using his arms yet, but he was anyway. But he looked like a giant scab. A cough came from behind the house. "Thats him!!" Dende said, awakening. "I want more!!" The little green thing ran like heck to the back of Capsule Corp. "What's Picollo up to?" Vegeta asked. He was doing sit ups to bend his knees so they woulden't stiffen up. "I don't know." Bulma said. "But whatever he's got back there, it's really addictive. Why, just last week I had to prevent Trunks from seeing Picollo." Trunks blushed. "Mom, why do you have to embarras me?" "I'm going to see!" Chi Chi said. She stomped out of the house. Nobody knew why she was always mad. "Is this one of those girl things?" Goku asked. "Why Chi Chi is always mad?" Vegeta shrugged. "Bulma gets like that sometimes. But when I lock her in the closet, she straightens up pretty fast." Goku thought about how he could lock Chi Chi in the closet. "Maybe we better go see too." Bulma said. "If its somethings really good, I may want some too. Coming, Vegeta?" Vegeta stood up from his sit ups and threw his sweat towel over his shoulders. "I guess so. You have a good point." They went to the back of the huge house. Picollo was standing in front of his trash sack. Several holes were poked in it, and rats were running all around. Chi Chi stepped on a dead one. Her high-heel poked into it's eye. "Lets have a look-see inside there." Bulma said. She reached past Picollo to open up the trash sack. He bit her with his sharp teeth. "Nobody touches my trash sack and my stuff!" He said. He looked really scary. "All we wanna know is if there's any illegal stuff behind our house." Vegeta said. "I mean, we've all done our share of crimes, but we don't wanna go to jail for it." He creaked Picollo's neck in a strange angle and reached into the ally. He opened the trash sack and looked inside. "Holy Sh*t!!" He yelled. "Lookit all this stuff!!" He dumped it out. Beer, liquor, and a bunch of illegal stuff (I can't say the horrible d word or they'll make me rate this story 'r') fell out. "You weren't selling it to anyone under 21 were you?" Chi Chi asked. Picollo didn't say anything. "Our SON is 5." Bulma said. "Oh, Picollo." Was all Chi Chi said. "Maybe we can get this stuff out of here before the cops find out." Vegeta said. "I know!!" Bulma said, being an idiot female. "Why don't you just ki blast it and then we can all go back to our lives and i can......(Her voice got boring)....finish washing the dirty breakfast dishes and washing Vegeta's smelly training clothes..." "Great Idea!!" Chi Chi said. "Do it, Vegeta." He shrugged. "I dont think it will do anything bad." Picollo was sobbing, so Chi Chi had Rex stand in front of him so he wouldent try anything. "I worked so hard to get this far!!" Picollo was screaming. Vegeta tossed the bag up in the air and ki blasted it with a single finger movement. It exploded into a thousand peices. "Whats that smell?" Chi Chi asked. "Smells like....beer." Vegeta shrugged. "I dunno. But I kinda like it. Go get the broom, so's I can sweep this stuff up and ki blast it again." His eyes were getting red. "Geez, dat burnz muh eyez." He said. His words were slurring. Bulma came back with a broom. " Hey Vegeetaa.... here's za broom. Geez, Im feeling kinda ztrange, aren't you?"
Vegeta nodded. "And I like it. Wadda bout u, Chi Chi?" Chi Chi was laughing. Rex was stumbling everywhere. "Whaddaya think happened?" Bulma asked. "I think we're wasted." Chi Chi said. Vegeta shrugged. "Aw welll..now we can have fun and have an excuse. Bulma, lets go up to our room and lock the door and turn out the lights and-'
"Please dont continnnnnue." Chi Chi said. "I needs a drinks. Buh bye." Vegeta and Bulma went into the house and Chi chi fainted by the door. Trunks ran outside. "Wheres mommy and da-Oh my god....what is that smellll........" Goten followed. "Trunks whats that smell? It smells like Picollo's trash sack!!" Picollo was crying. "Guys?" Goku called from in the house. "I can't make it out there cause there's a woman by the door!! Oh, it's Chi Chi!!" "Don't come out, daddy." Goten said. "Trunks is acting REEEEEEEALLLLLLLLY strange." Goku looked outside. "Good god!! Whats wrong with that dog?" Rex was trying to dig in the cement. "I think your wasted, Trunks!!" Goku said. "Wait till your mom hears about this!!" Trunks laughed. "She's not available right now.........................." Picollo sobbed. "I'm locking you in the closet until your no longer wasted! The fumes from Picollos.....stuff must have made you this way!!" "You'll have to fight me to get me away from this smell!!" Trunks said. "It makes me feel better than I ever have!!" He powered up into Super Saiyan. "Oh please." Goku said. "Your just a kid. Don't make me beat your @$$." Trunks shrugged. "It's all good!!" He said, and powered down. Then he followed Goku into the house, followed by the family dog, Goten, and ChI Chi, who had just woken up. Picollo decided to stay outside and cry. "Somebody tell me what happened." Goku said. "Well...." Trunks started. He prepared to tell a lie. "It all started when that mean old dog ran outside. I knew how sad you would be if it got away. So I went out there, and what did I see? My daddy, My momma, and Chi Chi and Picollo and that mean old dog were laughing at Picollo because they stole all his stuff. So I esploded the stuff so they won't fight over it anymore. Then there was this smell, so I ran in the house and got Goten and when I come back out, Momma and daddy were acting really strange and Chi Chi fell down and momma and daddy went into the house. That's how it happened." Goten shook his head. "Nuh uh, Daddy! I know how it happened and Trunks is lying!!" Goku scowled at Trunks. "My faithful old son will tell the truth. Go on, Goten!!" "Well....Goten said. "I went oputside, and there was a big old monster! Trunks was saying, 'save me save me' so I watched and Trunks' dad esploded the monster. Then Trunks ran inside, and there was a really funny smell! Then everyone started acting weird, then I saved the day, then Mommy fainted. "That's not how it happened!" Chi Chi said. "I was knocked out in a horrible battle!!" Rex barked. "Shut up everyone!" Goku said. "I dont believe Trunks because his dad has made him a ruthless lier. I don't beleive Goten because his story is a bunch of bullSh*t. I don't beleive my wife because I hate her. I don't beleive Rex because I don't understand him. Somebody tell me what happened." Vegeta and Bulma came out. "What's wrong, Goku?" Bulma asked. "Filling the children's heads with crap again?" Goku shook his head again. "Nope. Not this time. I'm trying to figure out what happened." Bulma started washing dishes. "Why don't you ask Vegeta?" Bulma said. "He doesn't lie." "Okay." Goku said. "vegeta, you tell me what happened." "Well...."Vegeta started, "It all happened when we decided to check out what Picollo had in his trash sack. So we all go outside, and trhere was a big mob who had sighns and they said, 'kill kakarott.' so I decided I would explode all the people and do what they said. You know, go with the majority? So I was about to go inside, when there was this strange smell and everyone acted pretty weird, so me and Bulma decided to comne in the house so you won't think we did anything." Goku was sad. "Nobody will tell me what happened!!" "I will!!" Bulma said. "We were all outside, enjoying the fresh summer air." She started. "It's spring." vegeta corrected. "Whatever." She said. "We were all enjoying the SPRING air, when there was this really hot guy and he was selling cosmetics. I wanted to buy some, but Vegeta wanted to save money, so he exploded the guy. Then there was this smell, and everyone acted weird. The end." "I think I know whats wrong!!" Goku said. "Your all wasted. Vegeta exploded the stuff and the fumes made you high. Correct?" They all groaned. "Answer me right now." They all nodded. "For punishment for getting yourselves wasted, Bulma you have to wash my clothes, Chi Chi you have to rub my feet, Goten you can't watch The Osbournes, Trunks you can't watch South Park, and vegeta, you......" Vegeta waited. "You have to feed the dog every day!!" vegeta's eyes widened. If he wasn't so wasted, he wouldn't have accepted. "But I'm scared of Old Yeller!" "This is not old yeller. This is a mean dog who will tear your eyes out if you don't feed em." "But I like my eyes." vegeta said. "If he rips out my eyes, I won't be able to see and feed him." Goku was mad. "Go feed my dog now!!"
"You don't live here." Bulma said. "This is me, Vegetas and Trunks' house. If you try to be mean, we'll throw you out." Goku shrugged. Just then, some strange guy kicked the door in!!
"Hello, Vegeta!!" Goku said, and he flew over, almost stranging Bones. "Get that mutt away from me before I kill it!!" Vegeta screamed in a raw sound. "Behave, Honey." Bulma said to Vegeta. "Mind if we join you in eating?" Goku said. Bulma shook her head. "Though with 2 saiyans and 2 half saiyans, it might be difficult to have enough." "I'll say!!" Vegeta yelled. "I get first pickings, because my wife bought the food." "My wife buys food too." Goku said. "And food for Bones. and if me and Bones dont get what we want, we tend to bite people." Vegeta's eyes got wide. "B-B-Bite people?" Bones hopped up on the bench beside Vegeta and Bulma. He looked right at Vegeta. "Excuse me, Bulma, but I have to go." And he flew away and perched on the Merry Go Round. "Vegeta!!" Bulma called. "Please come back! I can't survive with these people without you!!" Chi Chi was mixing up some beer, when out of the blue, Picollo came. "Do I smell Beer?" He asked. "That trash bag is getting pretty hot." "What are you doing here?" Bulma asked. "Veggie dropped you in a treatment center, right?" "No jail can hold me." Picollo explained. "Oh." Bulma said. She went over to the Merry Go Round. "You get RIGHT BACK over there RIGHT NOW!! Goku and the rest are soooooo annoying, I can't survive alone!! And lookit you-- your rediculous, scared of a small little puppy dog. " Vegeta frowned. "It is not just a puppy dog, it is a Pit Bull, and it will bite me if I don't let Kakarott eat first." Goku looked over at them evilly. "See!!" Vegeta said. "He already told that dog to come over here and rip us apart!!" "Alright," Bulma said. "If you won't come on your own, I'll have to DRAG you!!" She grabbed a part of Vegeta's spandex and started to pull. Vegeta grabbed on to a merry go round bar and held on tight. "COME ON!!!!" Bulma screeched. "NO!!" Vegeta countered. "I'll never let go!" Bulma pulled for a while, but sand was getting in her shoes so she stopped. When she let go of the tight rubber material, it snapped Vegeta's leg. "Ouch!!" He said. "Fine." Bulma said. "You win. But don't whine to me when your hungry! But we might through you a few bread crumbs!" Vegeta was sad. He was sooooo hungry. He decided he would have to KILL Bones before he would get his lunch. He pointed at Bones, who growled at him. A small Ki Blast formed on his finger and shot out. JUst at the right moment, Bones jumped up. The horrible blast shot out and hit.... "MY HOUSE!!" Goku wailed. Vegeta had forgotten Kakarott's house was behind the park. Bulma laughed as the house was ingulfed in flame. "Nice shot, Vegeta!" She yelled. He gave a thumbs up and watched as the house burnt to the ground. Goten and Goku quickly flew and tried to rescue certain things. Goten came out with his Game Boy and a few Games, and a scorch mark on his face. "Goku!" Chi Chi yelled. But he didn't come out. "Did daddy go in?" Goten asked. Chi Chi nodded. But he didn't come out. "Go see if he's in there." Trunks said to Vegeta. "Maybe he got burned up." Vegeta shrugged. "Maybe god answered my prayers. Lemme go check!" And he flew over to the ruins of the house. Goku was sitting in the middle of the living room watching T.V. "This is the last of T.V i'll ever see." He said to Vegeta. Then a spark jumped on his clothes and caught him on fire. "OW!" He yelled, flailing his arms and legs. "Help me!!" He screeched. "OWWWWW!!" Vegeta just stood there laughing, while Goku ran out of the house, a huge ball of fire. He flew after him. "Goku!!" Chi Chi yelled, and poured alchohal on him to try and put the fire out. Big mistake. The fire flared up over Goku's face, arms and everywhere else. "Stop Drop and Roll, daddy!!" Goten said. "Hurry!!" Goku started rolling. Vegeta decided to be real funny, and picked up Bones. "NO, VEGETA!!" Bulma screamed. Too late. Vegeta tossed Bones on top of Goku, and Bones caught on fire. It was only a matter of minutes before you could smell burning fur, and Bones was dead. Goku's fire was out from rolling. He was one huge 3rd degree burn. "Owwww...." He said. Vegeta looked at him. "Geez. You dont look so good." He said.
"The hospital said Goku can get out of the hospital in about 2 days." Bulma said. "His burns were pretty bad, but they need his room." Vegeta grunted while looking through a magazine. "And why do you think I wanna know that?" Bulma frowned. "Because Goku and his family need somewhere to stay. They're house was burned down, and let me remind you it was YOUR Ki Blast." "So? Please lemme alone! I'm reading!!" Bulma ripped the magazine away. "Vegeta, I told them they could stay here until they find a place. Goku said he would like to use your gravity room to help with his training when he gets over being bedridden." Vegeta's eyes got wide as dinner plates. "Kakarotts family--staying here? No way!! I've already got one nagging lady living with me!! Chi Chi will be like....double it!!" "Vegeta, our house has 2 bedrooms that we don't even use. It's a huge place. C'mon." "And think about the little brat!! Iv'e already got one living here!!" "Trunks won't be much of a problem because we'll dump him outside or at his grandparents alot." Vegeta groaned. "But Bulma, My gravity room is....MINE!! I train there every day!! It's set for MY level! He'll screw it up!! You built it for ME!! Not Kakarott!!" "Vegeta, what I say goes! I bought the house, I work to keep us from losing the house, and I don't CARE about your gravity room! You and Goku can train together!!" Shge giggled when she said the last part. "No!!" Vegeta screeched. "Fags do that!! I'm notta fag!!" Bulma was laughing really hard. "Vegeta, there's no problem with being a fag." "I'm not a fag!! I have a WIFE in case you forgot!!" Bulma stopped laughing. "Okay, whatever. But maybe this will help the rift between you and Goku, huh?" Vegeta crossed his arms. "I can't beleive you. You didn't even ask me first. I thought I lived here." "You do, but that doesn't mean you matter much." Bulma said. Then Bulma walked out. Vegeta was mad.
"Vegeta, go help carry Goku's stretcher and the Son's stuff." Vegeta sat there and ignored her. "I'm so mad at you right now I could blow your head off." Bulma slapped Vegeta's head. "Go carry Goku in!! He's on a stretcher!! He can't walk!!" Vegeta angrily trudged outside, where Goten was lifting up one end of the stretcher. "You get the other end, Trunks' dad." He told Vegeta. Vegeta looked at Goten sourly. He picked it up. "Hiii....." Goku said. "Vegeta, thanks for burning my house down. Now I get to take over yours!!" Goku said, and he laughed maniaclly. Picollo popped out of the trash sack. "Hi guys. What are you doing here?" Vegeta dropped Goku's stretcher, and his head bumped the ground. "Ow!!" He said. "Bulma, Vegeta's being mean!!" Vegeta picked up the stretcher end as Bulma came out. "He's lying!! He's lying!!" Vegeta said. "Goku, how come your all read and black?" Picollo asked. "I got horribly burned." "Oh." Picollo said. "Guess what I had for dinner last night? Some guy threw me a hamburger because I was crying." Vegeta told Picollo to go away. "I see how you are." Picollo said in his boring voice and went under his trash sack. Vegeta carried Goku into one of the guest rooms and tossed him on the bed. "Ow!!" He said. "Could I get some water!!" "No!" Vegeta said. "I'm not your slave." "VEGETA!!" Bulma said. "You get that nice man some water right now or I'll unplug the gravity room!" Vegeta slumped over and walked into the kitchen. He filled a jelly jar glass with water. "I will not be a slave in my own home." He grumbled. Bulma was washing dishes. "No, Chi Chi will do the rest. But If you dont be extra nice to Goku, I'll wring your neck." Vegeta mocked her and brought the glass to Goku. "Thanks, buddy!!" goku said when he brought it in. "I'm not your buddy!!" Vegeta growled. "And I will not get anything else for you. You have a woman, make her do it." Goku sighed. "I was awfully sad when you killed my dog, Bones." Vegeta laughed. "All in a days work." He said. "Well, you know what Chi Chi did when you did that?" Vegeta didn't care. "What?" He asked. "Cried?" Goku laughed and shook his head. "No. Chi Chi!! Come show Vegeta our suprise!!" "Yes, Goku!!" Vegeta said. Then he was horrified. A large, mean looking dog stalked in, dragging Chi Chi. It was on a chain and had a red spiky collar around it's neck. It was a doberman. Not one of those miniature ones, this one was full sized. It had huge teeth, cropped ears, and a cropped tail. It had huge muscles. "Meet Rex." Goku said. "Our new dog!!"
Vegeta screamed and screeched. He raced out of the room at top speed. "Bulma, Bulma!!" He cried. He ran into the kitchen and hid behind her. "What is it, Veggie?" She asked. "Lookk.....a.....b-b-big doggy!!" "Nonsense!!" She said. "There's no dogs in this house. Calm down!!" But Vegeta was shaking all over. "Fine, I'll go see." Bulma said. "Stay here." "No!" Vegeta said. "If your gone, who will protect me?!" Bulma didnt have to go. The dog stalked in, dragging Chi Chi. "Oh, hi puppy!!" Bulma said. Vegeta screamed and burst into tears. Bulma was petting Rex, and Chi Chi wasn't moving. She was fainted. Rex set his eyes on Vegeta and he started to growl. "He doesn't like me!!" "Yes he does!!" Bulma said. "Come and pet him, and he'll like you!!" Rexie snapped and barked at Vegeta. Vegeta cried harder. "I think you needa nap." Bulma said. Vegeta wailed. "I'll lock the door so Rex can't get in." Vegeta walked into his room and Bulma locked the door.
They were all watching Rex catch the Frisbee outside. Except for Goku; he was still hurt. But even Picollo and Vegeta were out there, because Bulma had dragged them out for a barbecue. Vegeta was sitting way up in a tree where he was hoping Rex couldenb;t see him. Everyone else was under the tree, in the shade because it was hot. Trunks and Goten were playing with Rex. Bulma was flipping the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Vegeta usually did that, but he was too much of a chicken sh*t right now. "Vegeta, if you don't come down from there right now, you dont get any barbecue." Bulma said. "Are you trying to starve me?" He responded. "First I didn't get lunch; and now this!! I'm a saiyan!! I need food!! This is an outrage!! I'm so mad!! Makes me wanna scream, but doggy will get me!! AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" His voice was making that croaky sound it does on the show when he gets upset. "This dog will not hurt you!!" Trunks said. "Look daddy, he's really nice!! He wants you to come down!"
Rex was barking up at him. The kids thought Rex was happy; but Vegeta knew the dog wanted him to come down so he could rip out his intestines and chew through his liver until it gushed fluids. "Hey, you stupid animal! You don't bark at me! Leave me alone!!" He called. Rex continued to bark. "Vegeta, dont call Rex a stupid animal!!" Picollo said. "We're best friends!! Aren't we, Rexie?" Rex jumped on Picollo and began biting him. He ripped long strips of Picollo's green flesh. "Ow!! Gee, that hurts!!" Picollo yelled. He blasted a S. Beam Cannon at Rex, not hitting him but scaring him enough to back off. "Are you alright?!" Bulma asked. Picollo nodded. "Oh, yeah. Nothing a little beer can't fix." And he grabbed a beer and began drinking it. "Don't you at least want a Band-aid?" Bulma asked, holding one out. "Don't mind if I do." He said, and ate it. "Okay......?" Bulma said, and flipped the Barbecue. Vegeta thought the barbecue smelled so good. He was drooling everywhere. "Can't I have some?" He called. "NO!!" Chi Chi said. "None!! Your a chicken!!" "Shut up you stupid whore!!" He yelled at her. "I'll bring you some!!" Bulma said. She took a plate and put on it Barbecued chicken, some barbecued hot dogs, a barbecued hamburger, some coleslaw, some sweet potatoes and a Dr. Pepper. "Can you come down and get it?" She asked. "I'm not a good tree cilmber, especially when the first branch is 40 feet above me." Vegeta hesitated. "Are you sure the dog won't kill me?" Bulma rolled her eyes. "No. Now come down here and sit and eat with us. We miss your company." "Yeah right!!" Chi Chi hollered. Bulma gave her the finger and Vegeta called her a whore. "Chain up that awful mutt and then maybe I will." "Trunks, put a chain on that dog so your dad will come down." Trunks groaned, but he did what he was told to. Vegeta slowlt floated down and grabbed his plate. "Where do I sit at?" He asked. Bulma pointed. "Right here, by me."Vegeta parked his @$$. He started eating, watching Rex the whole time. It was tugging at the chain and making a horrible racket. Spit flew from it's ugly lips. Trunks and Goten were eating their dinner right by it. Vegeta hoped it would bite Goten. It didn't. It bit Picollo when he tried to pet it. But he still insisted that Rex was his best friend. For a second, he got distracted from watching Rex. Maybe it was because he noticed there was a fly in his hair, maybe because Bulma was doing something he thought was hot, maybe because Picollo had disappeared again. But whatever it was, it distracted him long enough that Rex broke his chain!! Vegeta looked up again. "OMG!!" He gasped. He shook Bulma. "Lookit, Lookit it's gone, it busted the chain and its gone and OMG its going to come over here and eat me..." His voice did the croaky thing again. "Oh look!!" Bulma said, turning around. "He LIKES you!!" Vegeta leaped 3 feet into the air. "Yipes!!" He said, and grabbed his plate. He flew up into the tree, while Rex snapped at his heels. It grabbed ahold of his spandex and held on as Vegeta flew up, but Vegeta didn't notice. "Ah, the safety of my tree.". He saw carved in Childish letters was the word Patty carved in the tree. Picollo had named the tree Patty. Vegeta patted the tree and blinked. When he opened his eye, drool dropped in it. "Oh my." He said. "I think my tree has sprung a leak." He looked up into the face of REX !!!!!! "Dear old Patty, why have you betrayed me?!" He yelled as he leaped from the tree. He landed down hard and both his knees snapped. Bulma sighed. "Bring me the phone." She said. She dialed a number. "Hello? Dende? "
Dende walked into the front door. "Whats wrong?" He asked. "Is Picollo wasted again? Another hangover?" Bulma shook her head and lead him outside. Vegeta was sitting there in his boxer shorts, staring at the dog chained to the wall. His knees were swollen and purple and bloody. He was wailing. "Hi Vegeta!!" Dende said. "Whats wrong?" Vegeta wiled someore. "He broke his legs!!" Trunks said. "It's awfully funny how daddy broke his legs. I wonder if I can break mine?" Dende rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess, you want me to heal you?" Bulma walked out with an ice pack. "Yes, you stupid green fag! Now do it!" "Bein' greennn....." Dende sighed. "Everyone misunderstands me." "Shut up and heal me!" Vegeta said. "No can do." Dende said. "Not 20 minutes ago I went out to the park and there was this dog there. He was dead so I took his to the hospital and they jumpstarted his heart up, then I healed him."
"What did this dog look like? And why can't you heal my busted bones?!" Dende shrugged. "He was a little Pit Bull. I was so totally WASTED I thought he was worth it. So I can't heal you. I'm too wasted to heal 2 people in the space of one hour." Vegeta screamed. "My poor ol busted bones." Bulma grabbed one leg. "Maybe if we can set your bones, they wont hurt so much until the hour is up." She fiddled with his bones!! They rubbed together, grinded, and chipped against eachother.
"OW!!! GOD D*MN!!! OW~~~!!!" He screeched. When she was finished 'setting' the bones, they were horribly mishapen. "You made it worse!" He wailed. "Ow!!" Rex jumped down from the tree casually. He saw Vegeta on the ground and his horrible mishapen knees. He began running toward him. "No way!!" Bulma yelled. "If you kill my husband, there's no one to do my dirty work!!" She hurled a rock at Rex. He ran all the way in the back of the yard and sat there, shivering. He had a big ol purple lump on his haid.
"I can try." Dende said. "But I dont know if it will work." He spread his hands over Vegeta. He expected Vegeta to turn green and be healed. But to his suprise, his legs bucked and landed hard on the concrete patio. "OWCH!!!" Vegeta yelled. "Whoops." Dende said and laughed like a retard. "I acidently used my hand-moving stuff power. Sorry!!" Vegeta grabbed Dende around the neck. "Listen up, you little green pimp!! If you dont heal me RIGHT NOW, I'll kill you. To H*ll with earth!" Dende stomped on Vegeta's knees. Vegeta gritted his teeth but didn't let go. So Dende kicked him in the nuts. A tear dripped from his left eye, but he didn't let go. So he grabbed the snapped knee bones and rubbed them together. Vegeta let go, and he fainted. "Oh dear." Said Chi Chi. "He died." "He didn't die, mommy you whore." Goten said. "He's just fainted!!" Bulma put a rag on his head, then put some smelling salts under his nose. She expacted him to wake up, say 'Nope, that ain't gonna do it' like Flanders on the simpsons, and faint again, but he sat upright. Vegeta noticed that one of the bones was sticking out of his skin. "Hurry up, dende!" He said. "My poor ol busted bones hurts!" "I'm taking him to the hospital!" Bulma said. "Dende will probley be so WASTED that--" "Speaking of wasted, lemme go talk to Picollo for a second...." Dende said. Bulma rolled her eyes. "As I was saying, he'll probley use his lil' 'Hand moving thingy' and hurt him even more. So Trunks, fly me to the hospital!!" Trunks shrugged. "I'm sorry, but you and daddy are simply to fat. I'm only five years old,and that would hurt." Bulma shrugged. "Aw well. Veggie, do you want Corny dogs or hamburgers for dinner tomarrow?" "Advil." He replied. "Your talking about dinner at a time like this? I'm dying!!" Bulma shook her head. "Your not dying, Vegeta. Your bones are just busted and your bleeding pretty bad. Maybe from now on you'll stop jumping out of that tree." "Trunks, carry me to my bedroom." He said. "I want to die in my own room, surrounded by my own house." Trunks struggled and carried him in. Everyone, including Rex, followed. "This is all I need." He said. "Goodbye, cruel world." He closed his eyes, but they popped open again. "And maybe some orange juice, but thats all I need." Bulma got up and got him some orange juice. He picked out all the pulp and drank it. Then he closed his eyes. Not 5 seconds later, they opened. "Can I have the remote?" He said, pointing to the T.V remote. "I decided I dont wanna die right now." Trunks gave it to him. He clicked it onto the history channel. "Whats going on?" Goku said. "I wanna know!!" Dende ran in."Oh hi Goku. You look great!" "Picollo gave me some--" He stopped. "Some....Perkiset!! Yeah thats it!!" (Perkiset is a medicine you can buy that perks you up, like speed cept over the counter) He put his hands on Vegeta and healed him. "Great!!" Bulma said. "Now, Vegeta, you can change our sheets because you got blood on them." vegeta changed the sheets because he likes to.
Dende was passed out on the floor. But nobody cared. He was so totally WASTED that nobody wanted to bother picking him up. But nobody had seen Picollo in a little while. But there was a strange smell coming from the ally behind the Capsule Corp. where the trash bag was. "I figure Picollo's wasted." Goku said, in his wheelchair. He wasn't supposed to be using his arms yet, but he was anyway. But he looked like a giant scab. A cough came from behind the house. "Thats him!!" Dende said, awakening. "I want more!!" The little green thing ran like heck to the back of Capsule Corp. "What's Picollo up to?" Vegeta asked. He was doing sit ups to bend his knees so they woulden't stiffen up. "I don't know." Bulma said. "But whatever he's got back there, it's really addictive. Why, just last week I had to prevent Trunks from seeing Picollo." Trunks blushed. "Mom, why do you have to embarras me?" "I'm going to see!" Chi Chi said. She stomped out of the house. Nobody knew why she was always mad. "Is this one of those girl things?" Goku asked. "Why Chi Chi is always mad?" Vegeta shrugged. "Bulma gets like that sometimes. But when I lock her in the closet, she straightens up pretty fast." Goku thought about how he could lock Chi Chi in the closet. "Maybe we better go see too." Bulma said. "If its somethings really good, I may want some too. Coming, Vegeta?" Vegeta stood up from his sit ups and threw his sweat towel over his shoulders. "I guess so. You have a good point." They went to the back of the huge house. Picollo was standing in front of his trash sack. Several holes were poked in it, and rats were running all around. Chi Chi stepped on a dead one. Her high-heel poked into it's eye. "Lets have a look-see inside there." Bulma said. She reached past Picollo to open up the trash sack. He bit her with his sharp teeth. "Nobody touches my trash sack and my stuff!" He said. He looked really scary. "All we wanna know is if there's any illegal stuff behind our house." Vegeta said. "I mean, we've all done our share of crimes, but we don't wanna go to jail for it." He creaked Picollo's neck in a strange angle and reached into the ally. He opened the trash sack and looked inside. "Holy Sh*t!!" He yelled. "Lookit all this stuff!!" He dumped it out. Beer, liquor, and a bunch of illegal stuff (I can't say the horrible d word or they'll make me rate this story 'r') fell out. "You weren't selling it to anyone under 21 were you?" Chi Chi asked. Picollo didn't say anything. "Our SON is 5." Bulma said. "Oh, Picollo." Was all Chi Chi said. "Maybe we can get this stuff out of here before the cops find out." Vegeta said. "I know!!" Bulma said, being an idiot female. "Why don't you just ki blast it and then we can all go back to our lives and i can......(Her voice got boring)....finish washing the dirty breakfast dishes and washing Vegeta's smelly training clothes..." "Great Idea!!" Chi Chi said. "Do it, Vegeta." He shrugged. "I dont think it will do anything bad." Picollo was sobbing, so Chi Chi had Rex stand in front of him so he wouldent try anything. "I worked so hard to get this far!!" Picollo was screaming. Vegeta tossed the bag up in the air and ki blasted it with a single finger movement. It exploded into a thousand peices. "Whats that smell?" Chi Chi asked. "Smells like....beer." Vegeta shrugged. "I dunno. But I kinda like it. Go get the broom, so's I can sweep this stuff up and ki blast it again." His eyes were getting red. "Geez, dat burnz muh eyez." He said. His words were slurring. Bulma came back with a broom. " Hey Vegeetaa.... here's za broom. Geez, Im feeling kinda ztrange, aren't you?"
Vegeta nodded. "And I like it. Wadda bout u, Chi Chi?" Chi Chi was laughing. Rex was stumbling everywhere. "Whaddaya think happened?" Bulma asked. "I think we're wasted." Chi Chi said. Vegeta shrugged. "Aw welll..now we can have fun and have an excuse. Bulma, lets go up to our room and lock the door and turn out the lights and-'
"Please dont continnnnnue." Chi Chi said. "I needs a drinks. Buh bye." Vegeta and Bulma went into the house and Chi chi fainted by the door. Trunks ran outside. "Wheres mommy and da-Oh my god....what is that smellll........" Goten followed. "Trunks whats that smell? It smells like Picollo's trash sack!!" Picollo was crying. "Guys?" Goku called from in the house. "I can't make it out there cause there's a woman by the door!! Oh, it's Chi Chi!!" "Don't come out, daddy." Goten said. "Trunks is acting REEEEEEEALLLLLLLLY strange." Goku looked outside. "Good god!! Whats wrong with that dog?" Rex was trying to dig in the cement. "I think your wasted, Trunks!!" Goku said. "Wait till your mom hears about this!!" Trunks laughed. "She's not available right now.........................." Picollo sobbed. "I'm locking you in the closet until your no longer wasted! The fumes from Picollos.....stuff must have made you this way!!" "You'll have to fight me to get me away from this smell!!" Trunks said. "It makes me feel better than I ever have!!" He powered up into Super Saiyan. "Oh please." Goku said. "Your just a kid. Don't make me beat your @$$." Trunks shrugged. "It's all good!!" He said, and powered down. Then he followed Goku into the house, followed by the family dog, Goten, and ChI Chi, who had just woken up. Picollo decided to stay outside and cry. "Somebody tell me what happened." Goku said. "Well...." Trunks started. He prepared to tell a lie. "It all started when that mean old dog ran outside. I knew how sad you would be if it got away. So I went out there, and what did I see? My daddy, My momma, and Chi Chi and Picollo and that mean old dog were laughing at Picollo because they stole all his stuff. So I esploded the stuff so they won't fight over it anymore. Then there was this smell, so I ran in the house and got Goten and when I come back out, Momma and daddy were acting really strange and Chi Chi fell down and momma and daddy went into the house. That's how it happened." Goten shook his head. "Nuh uh, Daddy! I know how it happened and Trunks is lying!!" Goku scowled at Trunks. "My faithful old son will tell the truth. Go on, Goten!!" "Well....Goten said. "I went oputside, and there was a big old monster! Trunks was saying, 'save me save me' so I watched and Trunks' dad esploded the monster. Then Trunks ran inside, and there was a really funny smell! Then everyone started acting weird, then I saved the day, then Mommy fainted. "That's not how it happened!" Chi Chi said. "I was knocked out in a horrible battle!!" Rex barked. "Shut up everyone!" Goku said. "I dont believe Trunks because his dad has made him a ruthless lier. I don't beleive Goten because his story is a bunch of bullSh*t. I don't beleive my wife because I hate her. I don't beleive Rex because I don't understand him. Somebody tell me what happened." Vegeta and Bulma came out. "What's wrong, Goku?" Bulma asked. "Filling the children's heads with crap again?" Goku shook his head again. "Nope. Not this time. I'm trying to figure out what happened." Bulma started washing dishes. "Why don't you ask Vegeta?" Bulma said. "He doesn't lie." "Okay." Goku said. "vegeta, you tell me what happened." "Well...."Vegeta started, "It all happened when we decided to check out what Picollo had in his trash sack. So we all go outside, and trhere was a big mob who had sighns and they said, 'kill kakarott.' so I decided I would explode all the people and do what they said. You know, go with the majority? So I was about to go inside, when there was this strange smell and everyone acted pretty weird, so me and Bulma decided to comne in the house so you won't think we did anything." Goku was sad. "Nobody will tell me what happened!!" "I will!!" Bulma said. "We were all outside, enjoying the fresh summer air." She started. "It's spring." vegeta corrected. "Whatever." She said. "We were all enjoying the SPRING air, when there was this really hot guy and he was selling cosmetics. I wanted to buy some, but Vegeta wanted to save money, so he exploded the guy. Then there was this smell, and everyone acted weird. The end." "I think I know whats wrong!!" Goku said. "Your all wasted. Vegeta exploded the stuff and the fumes made you high. Correct?" They all groaned. "Answer me right now." They all nodded. "For punishment for getting yourselves wasted, Bulma you have to wash my clothes, Chi Chi you have to rub my feet, Goten you can't watch The Osbournes, Trunks you can't watch South Park, and vegeta, you......" Vegeta waited. "You have to feed the dog every day!!" vegeta's eyes widened. If he wasn't so wasted, he wouldn't have accepted. "But I'm scared of Old Yeller!" "This is not old yeller. This is a mean dog who will tear your eyes out if you don't feed em." "But I like my eyes." vegeta said. "If he rips out my eyes, I won't be able to see and feed him." Goku was mad. "Go feed my dog now!!"
"You don't live here." Bulma said. "This is me, Vegetas and Trunks' house. If you try to be mean, we'll throw you out." Goku shrugged. Just then, some strange guy kicked the door in!!