Chapter 8
Disclaimer: I dont own Dragonball Z. I don't own any of the books Vegeta reads. I hate to read. I only read Stephen King. So if you think that I would own any of the other types of books that Vegeta reads, then maybe Vegeta needs to Stick his foot up your--you know. I don't think it's nesesary to cuss in a diclaimer. And I'm sorry I can't spell nesessary.
The following is a dream that took place while Vegeta was under the gas so they could operate: *****
The big booming red faced man in the leprechaun hat took Vegeta to a wonderful place. But all the man could do was laugh. His big jolly belly shook! Vegeta laughed with him. "Who are you?" He asked, looking at the rainbows and Unicorns. The Unicorns that were tapdancing. "Who am I?" The man replied. "I am your dreams and your wishes! Your hopes and your faiths!" "Sounds like bullsh*t to me." Vegeta said. "Take me back to my um, world thingy. I'm ready to wake up now." The man laughed. "No, Vegeta! Your under laughing gas! You can't get out! Enjoy it while you can and take a slide down a rainbow!" "Uh, No. I'm not that type of man. Now take me back or else." The fat man laughed again. It was really starting to annoy Vegeta. "I don't like all your sissy stupid fag stuff. Now LET ME WAKE UP." The man laughed. "Listen! If you don't let me wake up, I'm gonna use you as a beach ball, fatty! Then I'm gonna scrape off all your fat and use it cook my bacon! Then I'm going to jam my boot in your throat and fill you with maggots!" The man laughed. Then he turned into a huge monster. "Looks who's talking, Ugly!" It shouted. It had big horns, but it just looked like smoke. Vegeta jumped on a unicorn and kicked it. As it ran at breakneck speed, It's legs fell off! "Oh crap, I'm going to be screwed!" Vegeta said. A woman came out of a little glass hut. She was horribly ugly! "Are you holding auditions for that roll?" She asked, waddling toward him. She looked like a shrew! "No way! Your the ugliest woman I've ever seen!:" "How dare you call my unfaithful wife ugly!" The monster/fat guy said. It charged toward him. Vegeta guessed this was some on crack dream. Then a really pretty lady approached. "Hello." She said. "Hello!" Vegeta replied. "Your hitting on the ugliest lady in town!" The monster said. Vegeta relized this world was flipped all around. He tried to fly, but he only hopped. "This will do." He sighed. "Vegeta!" The monster said. "What?" He asked. "Vegeta!" The monster said. "WHAT?"! He asked. "VEGETA!" It said. "WHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????"***
Then he woke up. "Vegeta!" Bulma said, shaking him. "Where am I?!" He asked. He whipped his head around. "Where's the monster? And the shrew lady?!" She looked at him weird. Then he relized. "Bulma, am I dead?" She shook her head. "Your alive. Your just high because that doctor gave you too much." Vegeta lifted up his hospital gown and saw an ugly red cut and stitches wear his underwear line was. "Ew!" He said. Trunks ran into the room and launched himself right on top of Vegeta in that very spot. Vegeta's eyes seemed to bulge out of his head as he screamed in pain. Rivers of blood spouted from between the stitches. "Trunks. That was disrespectful!" Bulma said. She picked him up and set him off the bed. Goku wheeled in. " Hiya, Vegeta! Bulma told me you hate me! Is this true?"
"Yes." Vegeta said bordly. "Why don't you go away? I already had to deal with one ugly shrew." "Okay. I'm gone." Goku said, and he wheeled out. "Where's Akurei?" Vegeta said. "He told me he was coming to check on me." Bulma was wiping the blood off Vegeta's stomach." He'll be here, I bet." sHe said. Then the doctor walked in. He looked ugly. " Good morning!" He said. Trunks pulled his pants down. There were red flowers on his thongs. "Your wearing panties like MOMMY.' Trunks said, giggling. "Exactly like mommy!" Vegeta said, then he howled with laughter. "Not really." Bulma said. "Mine like that don't have all the skid marks." "Honey, those aren't skid marks." Vegeta said. (If you don't know what it was ask about it in my reveiw) Then he laughed harder. The doctor pulled his pants up. A breeze was floating in through the window. "Vegeta, I've come to talk about your health." He said. Vegeta looked at him. "Yeah, so?" "Well,you have alot of stress." The doctor said. "By the looks of your panties, so do you." Trunks said. The doctor ignored him. "You need to slim down on your stress." Bulma cut in. "We just went on a Vacation. We don't need another."
"Whats all this We sh*t?" The doctor said. "Vegeta needs one by himself." "By myself?" Vegeta asked. "I can't possibly do that." The doctor looked at him. "Will you if I throw in some panties?"
Vegeta had agreed that he would go away for 3 weeks for the sake of his health. But after he got out of the hospital. "You can go home whenever your ready." The doctor said. Vegeta nodded. "But do you think that it's wise to leave my family without protection for 3/4 of a month?" "We'll be okay." Bulma said. "Remember? Goku's staying with us." The nurses were packing up Vegeta's things because he was about to go home. Vegeta was a little worried about that, too. Bulma helped him into the sitting postion, although it was painful. "He can barely sit up!" Bulma protested. "How can you send him away like this!" She gave Veggie a hug. "He'll be alright." The doctor said. Vegeta wasn't so sure. The nurses were done packing up. "Goodbye, Vegeta!" Bulma said, and he gave her a big Veggie hug. "I'll be alright." He said. "But wait-- I have something for you." He pulled a sack out from underneath his hospital bed. There was a box in it. "Veggie, what's this?" Bulma asked. He smirked. "Open it." She opened the box and, inside was......Yes, you guessed it! Bulma's red shoes!!! "Thank you Vegeta!" She said. "But can you do something for me?" "What?" Vegeta asked. "Hurry, I have to leave." "You have to take Rex with you." Vegeta's eyes got wide. "WHAT?!" He asked. "Do you think I'm CRAZY?! You know I'm afriad of dogs! I buy you some expensive shoes and you ask me to take a DOG with me?!" "But Vegeta, your weak from surgery. If something comes, you'll need Rex to protect you. Just drop by the house and pick him up, please?" Vegeta stared crosswise. "Alright." He said. "But if he rips out my intestines, don't cry to Shenron." She nodded.
Vegeta was leading Rex through the woods into a cabin. Rex wasn't going so willingly. He had to drag his butt through bramble bushes, so Rex was in pain. "I don't like this either!" Vegeta said. "But my wife made me. If you want to bite someone, bite her for crying outloud. Now cooperate!" Rex growled and snapped. Vegeta noticed that it was getting pretty dark, and the moon was coming up. "Oh, that's just NICE. Very NICE! Yes, Mr doctor and Bulma and Trunks, this is a good idea, but look who's talking? You get to sleep in your nice warm water beds and I--" He creaked open the front door to the cabin. It was all one room. A twin sized bed, A kitchen table, a stove, a heater, and a small black and white TV. No toilet. He would have to go outside. Rex trotted inside and layed down on a round rug. He closed one eye and watched Vegeta with the other. (Oh, I forgot. There was a phone)Vegeta eyed the phone and picked it up. He dialed Bulma's number. "Hello?" Asked Bulma. She sounded distressed. There was loud music in the background. "It's me." Vegeta said. "Oh, hi dear!" Bulma said. "Whats going on? Did you make it out there Okay?" Vegeta heard her go into a quiet room and shut the door. His guess was the closet. "I'm fine." Vegeta said. "But what's all that music? Am I missing something?" Bulma shut another door. "Um, no. Goku just has some friends over, thats all." "Friends like Picollo? That drug dealing drunk! I'm going to GET him for sending me to jail!" Bulma hesitsted, then answered. "Yes, he's here, but he's drunk so he doesn't remember." "Okay." Vegeta said. "I'm going to give you some instructions, Bulma." "Okay." She said. "What is it." "Boil up some water, so hot it almost turns to steam." He heard Bulma's new high heels tap on the kitchen floor as she went to the stove. He heard her get out a metal pan and put some water in, then he heard the stove knob click as she set it to 400degrees fahreignheit. "Why am I doing this?" She asked. "Just wait." Vegeta said. "I garuntee you'll love it." They waited about 15 minutes until the water was boiling. "Now take the water and put it in an empty beer bottle." She put on oven mits and poored the water into a glass beer bottle. "Now give it to picollo and tell him it's a rare wine, and if he doesnt drink it fast it could kill him." "Here Picollo!" Bulma said as she handed Picollo the bottle full of still boiling water. "Drink it FAST or it will kill you!" Picollo held it to his green lips and guzzled it down. It seemed to take him 5 seconds to realize the water was hot. Immediatly blisters formed on his toungue and throat. "How did that get in there?" Bulma said. "Well, I was right. Had you drunk it any slower, your tongue would be ashes!" She giggled as picollo writhed on the floor in pain. "I did it!" Bulma said. "It's funny." Picollo ran out the door. "That got rid of him." "I knew it would." Vegeta said. "Now fill ALL his beer bottles with expensive tabasco sauce. That'll break his drinking problem." "Okay." Bulma said. "Thanks for the good advice." "Any time." Vegeta said. "Trunks really misses you!" Bulma said. "He said Rex probley killed you by now. And I miss you too. How is Rex?" "REX is fine." Vegeta said. "He gets to sleep, carefree, while I have to make a fire in the heater to stay warm because its on of the ones you have to stock full of wood. You know, the old ones?" "Yeah, I know." Bulma said. "Have fun on your WATER BED!" Vegeta wailed. "My bed is made of ROCKS, I swear. It's a big change and it's small compared to our king sized." "Your not supposed to be worrieying." Bulma said. "How's your stomach?"
"My stomach's not so good." "Oh, well get better. I have to go, Chi Chi's doing a strip tease and I need to stop her!" "Okay, bye Bulma." "Bye Vegeta. I love you." Vegeta grunted and hung up, like he always did. Then he flounced on the bed and almost busted his head open on the hard matress. He was still rubbing it, when he fell asleep.
It was 12:00 midnight at Bulma's and Trunks's house. Goku had to take Chi Chi to the hospital when she fell while doing the strip tease, so they were all alone. It was about that time that Bulma was thinking that the room was very quiet without Vegeta's snoring when she heard a noise. It was the living room door opening!! She layed there for a good five minuted debating on what to do. She slipped into her shoes and slowly walked down the hall. At first she saw nothing. And then.... A big scary man darted down the hall! He tripped her and ripped the shoes off her feet. "These will make a great present for my girlfriend!" He shouted. Then he ran into Bulma's room. "My shoes!" She said. She ran after him. "Nobody takes MY shoes!" She screamed. She ninja kicked the man into the T.V. She wasn't aware she knew karate. She stood in a karate stance. "Come on!" She said. "Give me my shoes!" The man threw a telephone at her. "That was GRANDMA'S!!" She yelled, and hurled a flower vase at him.He screamed as it hit him in the head. She zoomed over and grabbed her shoes. "Okay, buster! You get out of my house before I kick your @$$!!" The man laughed. Bulma hurled a high heel right at him. It twirled through the air and the heel hit the guy right in the nuts. He screamed and howled.
Bulma zoomed over and cracked him over the head with her fists. Then she whipped around and caught him in the lips with her elbow. She could feel his lips split as she hit them. It was satisfactory. "Thats why Vegeta likes doing this so much!" She said. The man lay there groaning. "Let that be a lesson to you!!! NOBODY comes in my house!" The man started to say something. "After I waited all that time to rob this house; I waited until the man with the big muscles and the doberman dog were gone." "That goes to show you they aren't the only ones in this house who are worth something." Bulma said. She put on her shoe. "No! Don't!" The man said. "Sorry, but I need you to shut up while I call the police. And my husband. I bet he'll pay a nice PAINFUL visit to you when he gets back." She laughed evilly. "No!" The man said as she stomped on his head with her high heel and knocked him out.
Vegeta had been sleeping when the phone rang. "Hello?" He asked annoyed. "Who IS this?!" The person on the other line was breathing hard. "Its me!" Bulma said. "You'll never guess what I just did!!!" Vegeta sighed." Probley not. What, did you buy a new dress?" He was used to her calling him for useless things. "No! I beat up a robber!"
"Nice story."He said. "Now go back to bed-" "No! Really! There was this guy in the house and I beat him up with those kicks you taught me to protect myself." "You?" Vegeta said. "A man came in the house? Did he hurt Trunks or you? I should come home unless he comes back." "No! He's in jail. But I'm so proud of myself." "Why didn't you use the gun?!"Bulma laughed. "I wanted to try out the moves you taught me!" She said. Vegeta coulden't beleive what he was hearing. "You could have been KILLED." He said. "Well, I wasn't ." Bulma said. "Bye!" "Bye." Vegeta said, still thinking about how crazy she was. Bulma hung up. Vegeta closed his eyes and coulden't get any more sleep. Rex was at the door and was scratching at it. "What do you want?" Vegeta said. He was trying to think why dogs would scratch on the door. Maybe he wants me to play with him? Vegeta thought. "No way, Stupid scary dog. I'm not playing with a monster like you. I already can't get off my bed because of you." Rex started barking as well as sctratching.
"Maybe you want something to eat?" Vegeta asked. He flew up as high as he could go without spearing himself on the plant hooks and went to the cabinet. A can was labled 'DOGGY YUMMIEZ FOOD'. "How do I open a can?" Vegeta asked himself. He bashed it on the cabinet. It dented. "Oh, Sh*t!!" He cursed. He smashed the dent back into normal standing and then he got an idea. "I know! I'll set the can in a bowl and KI blast it so it explodes!" He found a plastic red bowl that said 'rex' on it. He set the can inside. Then he blasted it with a weak blast. Success! There was food in the bowl. He looked in. "Looks yummy." He mumbled. Then he saw something shiny and silver. He popped it in his mouth and chewed. "OW!" He said. He could taste blood. "Peices of the can! Sh*t!!"
So he spent three hours picking peices of metal out of Rex's food. Then he was finally done. Rex was laying down, lazilly scratching at the door. "Here, Rexie." Vegeta said. He dropped the bowl. Rex waddled over and sniffed it. Then he looked up at Vegeta and Barked. "No way am I coming down there so you can kill me." Vegeta said. "I'm way smarter than that!" Vegeta said. "ooh, a penny." He almost flew down to pick it up, but he stopped himself. "I have to resist this horrible temptation!!" He said. Then he got an idea. "Maybe, possibly, he has to go to the bathroom." Vegeta thought. So he flew down and opened the door. Rex stared barking and spitting and making a ruckus. "Geezus me!" Vegeta gasped. "Dogs are loud!" He swung open the door. "Rex, you stupid mutt! Shut your face!" But Rex kept barking. "Gosh darn!" Vegeta slomped down on the bed and started flipping channels over Rex's insane barking. It was on a very insteresting channel for men(If you know what I mean) when the cable went off. "Oh no!!" Vegeta said. "The antennae must have blown at a strange angle!" He was about to go outside and fly up on the roof in attempt to repair it, when he noticed that the wind was whipping the trees all around at strange angles. He got to thinking that those trees wo0uld be HIM if he tried to fly up in the air in this weather. So he decided to stay inside and watch the only channel he was getting right now, and that was Animal Planet. They were getting on the topic of show dolphins.
Bulma got up in the morning. She was happy and refreshed because she beat up a robber. She decided that she wanted Trunks to train her so she could defend herself without that 'criminal paralyzer' thingy, because she liked the way that taking things into her own hands felt like. She got up and put on her pretty red shoes. Then she went down stairs and with her red magic marker prepared to put a big red X on the previous day on the calendar. The date read October 17th. She stared at the words written on the date. They said 'Bulma's Birthday today!!' Then she looked at November 14th. Those words said 'The prince of Saiyans Birthday'. She tried to process what these words meant. "These words, and fabulous context clues must mean...." She thought some more. "Must mean that it's my birthday!!" She clapped her hands. "I have to call Vegeta! Maybe he has something special planned! And Trunks can teach me how to fight for my present!" She grabbed the phone and she dialed. "Hey Vegeta!" She shouted as soon as he picked up the phone. He was ticked off. "It's not Vegeta." He said. "Then who is it? Vegeta's new 'freind'? Is he too good for me? Does he prefer the copmpany of MEN?!" "No, defenetly not. This is someone who is not Vegeta.Someone who is not too good for you. Someone who wants you to hang up and call back in 1,000 years." Bulma stared at the mouthpeice of the phone and screamed in to it. "LISTEN, VEGETA!!" SHe squealed. "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND IF I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I GET TO TALK TO YOU! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! NOW ADMIT TO BEING VEGETA OR I'LL HANG A PICTURE OF YAMCHA IN THE GRAVITY ROOM AND I WON'T LET YOU THROW DARTS AT IT! THEN I'LL INVITE KRILLIN FOR A NICE ROUND OF POKER! " "Fine. This is Vegeta." "......." "HOLY SH*T! Did you say it was your birthday?" "Yes I did. Your rude." "Happy birthday to Bulma! Happy Birthday to YOUUUU!!" Vegeta rasped. "Can I watch T.V now?" He asked. "No. What are you going to get me for my birthday?" Vegeta thought. "Can I come to your party today and come RIGHT back here?"
Bulma made a funny humming sound. "I don't think so. The doctor's said if you get much more stress in 3 weeks, you could die." Vegeta was silent. "Oh, fine. But only for a little while." "Okay. Maybe we could go on a midnight stroll or something." "Vegeta?" "What?" "Who says 'stroll' anymore. Your supposed to say romp." "Romp sounds too sexual. I say stroll." "Say March."
"Marching is what those Robots do. No way." "Bye. Seeya laterz." "Bai." Bulma hung up. She stared putting up stremers and stuff for her party. She was happy because she loved birthday parties. But when she stepped into her living room to set up the table, the lights were all clicked off. She coulden't see a thing. She was feeling around when she heard "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BULMA!!"
It was a suprise party! Goku, Krillin, Chi Chi,Gohan, Videl, Goten, Trunks, Picollo and Yamcha were all behind the couches or chairs. Yamcha looked zoned out like usuall. "Why did you do this?!" She asked. She didn't look happy. She had dropped her martini. "We thought you might like it mom! And look!!" He pointed at the table. Gifts were piled up to the brim! And a big chocolate brownie cake that said, 'Happy Birthday Bulma!' Bulma stared at the colorful wrapping paper and tried to guess what was in them. The one from Yamcha was only a card. "Don't you give that to me!" She shouted, chunking the card at him. "I know you can afford to buy me a real present! Now you march out that door right now and get me something worth openeing!" They all stared and hoped Bulma liked their presents. "We have games, Mommy!" Trunks said. "A pinata and Pin the tail on the donkey! And hide and go seek!" "Oh lovely." Bulma said. "But we have to wait until your father gets here. Sorry." Trunks sat down. "What can we do until then?" "Well, you can all go into the kitchen and help me put up the party supplies that I put up for myself because I didn't know I was having a party from you guys! And after Vegeta gets here and the games are done, which I hope we do quickly, We are going to watch some movies!" They all groaned because they knew what type of movies Bulma liked. Cheesy romances or mild horror. And if it was horror, the animation was off. Then, the window broke and Vegeta flew in. He had sticks in his hair. "Vegeta!" Bulma squealed. She ran over and gave him a big hug. He returened it and looked at everything. "What happened here?! It looks like a happy bomb went off!"
"A happy bomb?" Goku asked. Vegeta glared at him horribly. It was such a horrible ugly face Goku almost fainted. "We are going to play games and eat cake and open presents and bust a pinata!" Trunks said. "It'll be so fun, right dad?!" "Yes, the greatest." Vegeta said. "Let's get this over with so I can get back to my solitude." They all romped out into the hugr back yard. A colorful pinata desighned to look like a bull was hanging and swinging back in forth in the tree Vegeta liked to sit in. Goku ran over and grabbed the rope to pull it up and down. "Who wants to go first?!" Bulma asked. "I do!" Trunks said. And Bulma let him because he was her child. She put a flowery bandanna around his little neck and spun him around. Then she handed him a baseball bat. He wandered around. "Where is it?" He asked. "Where?"
"I know!" Picollo said. "It's over here!" Trunks charged and began hitting Picollo with the bat with all his strength. "I found it!" He called. "Look mom! Has the candy spilled yet?" Bulma was silent. "No son!" Vegeta yelled. "Keep on hitting it!!" So Trunks kept on beating Picollo until he felt a small object hit his bare foot. "Candy!" He said, and he tore off the bandana. But it was one of Picollo's teeth. "EW!" Trunks said. "What kind of weirdo fills a pinata with pointy teeth?!" Then he looked up at the bleeding and angry Picollo. "If I was full of Booze, I would kill you." Picollo said through swollen lips. His eye was all swollen too. "Let me try!" Goten said. He swung at it three times, but he missed. So Bulma wanted to go. Goku tied the bandana around her eyes and spun her around as everyone else watched. She stepped over toward the pinata. Vegeta was whispering, 'NO! It's over there! To the left! Yes, that's it!" Bulma swung as hard as she could. Goku jerked the rope up, and the Pinata dashed over her head. She tripped and landed on her head. Krillin gazed down her dress. "You little pervert!" Vegeta yelled and launched a powerball. It set Krillin's butt on fire. Krillin put it out in the swimming pool. "Let me!" Vegeta said. "Okay!" Bulma said, and she got up and dusted herself off. Gohan tied the bandanna around Vegeta's eyes as he griped that it was a half @$$ job. Then he spun him around. "Alright." He said, handing him the bat. "Go for it!" Vegeta dashed toward the direction of the Pinata and swung wildly. It thumped the bottom of the pinata but only skimmed as Goku jerked it up. Vegeta screamed and pumped the bat again, this tgime missing completly. He swung it so hard it made a whizzing sound. The force of missing caused him to spin around in a crazy circle. By now he was storming mad. He screamed in rage.
"Your turn is over." Goku said plainly. Vegeta charged at Goku and swung the bat. It hit him right in the ribs. He uttered a horrible sound and fell to the ground. Vegeta began beating him horribly, each hit followed by a terrible groan. Bulma ran over and took the bat. "Remember what the doctor said about your stress, honey." Bulma said. Vegeta growled and stalked back to stand in line. On his way by, he punched the Pinata, now aware of his own strength. Candy showered down on his head and in his hair. As everybody scrambled to get trrhe candy, Vegeta unwrapped a Snickers and ate it.
Later, Akurei had arrived. He was late because he said he was in a hot tub full of young schoolteachers. No one beleived him. He was the first one up for Pin The Tail on the Donkey. It was one of his favorites. Bulma gave him a razor sharp tack to put the tail on with.Then she attached the tail on it. "Why did you make it so sharp?" He asked. "Because I hate how sometimes it won't go in." Bulma explined. "Are you ready?" He nodded. Bulma spun him around about 17 times. He was dizzy by the time she was finished, and when he staggered toward the donkey, he was a little too far left. "Your so stupid!" Vegeta laughed. "You can't even get the tail CLOSE to the donkey!" Akurei took 3 steps to the right. "Too far right, you stupid!" Vegeta howled. "Stop it!" Bulma scolded. But Vegeta didn't stop. "Your so stupid and ugly too!" Akurei staggered. "Shut up Man!!" He growled. He felt the wall for the plastic mat. "Ha ha! That won't work. We DREW the donkey on the wall with washable marker, you strupid excuse for a Saiyan!" "SHUT UP!" Akurei said. He was getting really mad. Vegeta shrugged. "Hey, don't get all mad at me because I'm smarter and more handsome than you." "That's it!" Akurei shouted. He jumped on top of Vegeta and started poking him all over. "Ow ow ow!" Vegeta yelled. He tried to buck Akurei off.
"This tack is sharp! SHARRRRP!" Bulma tried to pull Akurei off as he was assaulting Vegeta with a thumb tack. "Um, please stop poking my husband." Bulma said quietly. "You have to do better than that!" Vegeta hissed. "He's killing me! Remember, Bulma? My stress?!" "Um, It's not a good idea to poke Vegeta." BUlma said. "If his stress level gets too high, he could have a heart attack!" Akurei stabbed even harder. "That's it!" Bulma yelled. She karate kicked Akurei off Vegeta. "FIRST, YOUR LATE TO MY PARTY!" She yelled, and kicked him in the head. "THEN, YOU START ASSAULTING MY HUSBAND WITH A THUMB TACK!" She kicked him with her high heel in thye left ear. Vegeta was wiping Kleenex's all over the bloody spots. "WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Bulma howled, kicking his ribs and stomach. ''I WON'T STAND FOR IT!" She kicked Akurei so hard he flew into the next wall. "Gosh." Vegeta said. "She's strong for a woman." Bulma dived on top of Akurei and started beating the crap out of him. He howled and screamed. Krillin pulled Bulma off of Akurei. "Mommy, can I try?" Trunks asked. "Go right ahead, Trunks!" Bulma said. Her voice croaked terribly. Trunks dove toward Akurei, but Vegeta grabbed the back of his shirt. He Put Trunks up on his shoulders. "Let's go play something else." He said. 'This is boring." Trunks grabbed onto his dad's shirt. "Run, daddy, run!!" He said. 'So Vegeta ran with Trunks on his back for a while. They all just watched. Akurei was limping over to the barbecue grill to support himself. "I n-need h-h-help." He croaked. But it was in vein. "No one wants to help you." Picollo said in his boring voice. Akurei collapsed in a faint. "I think he died." Picollo said. "Nonsense!" Chi CHi said. "Just give me 2 minutes with him! He'll feel absolutly better!" She grabbed Akurei's arm and pulled him into the kitchen. Vegeta stopped running. "I'm getting tired." He said. "What next so I can leave?" They all thought. "Oh, I know!" Goku said. "Let's play tag!" "Tag?!" Asked Bulma. "I love tag!" Vegeta shook his head. "No way. I just ran like a mile." "Well we can fly then!" Goku said. "I can't fly." Builma said. "You can ride on me, Mommy." Trunks said. But Trunks was too small so she just rode on Vegeta instead. Yamcha was asleep on the table. The game of tag was really fun, but it was tireing. Every time Vegeta tagged someone, they rolled across the yard. Bulma was being bucked back and forth and all around, so her stomach didn't feel the best. "Vegeta, stop it!" Bulma said. "I don't think I want to play tag anymore!" She said. Vegeta came to a screeching halt which sent Bulma careening into the garbage cans. When she pulled her head up, a small yellow and ROTTEN banana peel was on her head. Trunks peeled it off. "Cool!" He said. "Now you smell." Bulma stood up. "That's it! Everybody go home!" Bulma yelled. They all just looked in awe. "I mean it, Krillin, Gohan, Videl, Yamcha, Picollo....Go home. Goku and Chi Chi and Goten--Go to your room!"
They all stared. "No." Picollo said. "You haven't even opened your presents yet." "I don't need your help to open presents. Now leave!" "......." "I'm warning you...."
"......." BUlma kicked, karate chopped, and ear-boxed everyone. They screamed and ran out of the Capsule Corporation. "Now." She said. "About my presents." Vegeta was starting to get really scared of Bulma's mood swings. "Trunks, your going to teach me how to protect myself while your dad is away getting rid of some insanity." Now she seemed cheerful again. "And Vegeta, we can talk about my present later! Now I have to open all these presents!" She picked up a package and shook it. Then she opened it. It was a glass duck. But it was broken. "What kind of freak gives me a broken duck?" Bulma said. "I don't even like ducks!" She read the name tag. It said, 'from Gohan'. "Maybe it's broke up because you shook it, mommy." Trunks said. "Do you want a slap in the mouth?" Bulma asked. He looked at his feet. Bulma threw the broken duck away. Then she picked up the next present and opened it. It was a sticker book. She took out a sticker and stuck it, but then she got bored and threw it away. "What stupid presents so far!" She said. The book was from Picollo. He seemed fascinated with small and stupid things. Then she came to Krillin's present. It was a blonde wig. "Just because he's bald doesn't mean I am!" BUlma screamed. When she threw it it landed on Vegeta's head. He would look really good with long blonde hair. Bulma opened up various other presents. None of them were good ones at all. "This sucks balls!" Bulma said. "Nobody can even get me a decent present!"
"Ummm..." Vegeta said, taking off the wig. "We could goooo.....Dancing?" Bulma looked at him awkwardly. He hoped he had said the right thing. "Dancing?" Bulma said. "Why would you suggest that?" "Because we could....eat dinner too? And go on a night stroll? And throw eggs at people from a bridge?" "It sounds great except the last part." Bulma said. "Eggs are expensive." "They don't have to be our eggs." Vegeta said. "We could steal them." "We're not stealing and going to jail over EGGS, Vegeta." Bulma said. "Let's go!" Vegeta was happy because he wanted to go home and this would be over with fast.
"Where can we eat?" Bulma asked. "It has to be all you can eat." Vegeta said. "Other than that, I don't care." Bulma thought. "Does McDonalds have all you can eat?" Vegeta shook his head. "Let's go to a place that goes with our budget, you know, like a fancy buffet." "Okay." Bulma said. "But there's not really any fancy buffets around, do you think?" Vegeta thought. How rare. "I know! Luby's!" "OKay." Bulma said. "That sounds good!" Vegeta landed at Luby's. It was really crowded. "You would think that a prince would get VIP passes." So they waited in a long line. Then they finally got into the buffet part. There was Asperagus and Green beans in the Vegetable section. Bulma got Lettuce and Tomatoes with ranch dressing, and Vegeta got 16 cherry tomatoes in a little green bowl. Then they went to the meat section. Vegeta got 10 fried chicken legs. Bulma got mini sausages. Then they passed on to the next section, soups. Vegeta got two bowls of clam chowder. Bulma didn't get anything. And on the desert place, Vegeta got 8 cinamon rolls and 7 brownies. Bulma got a small peice of cake. Then they payed for the food which was a staggering $42.50, And sat at a table by the window. AS Vegeta gobbled down his food, he was looking outside. Nothing unusual. Just a man shooting somebody. Vegeta was done eating Before BUlma even had her 4th bite. "God your a pig." Bulma said. "Why do Saiyans eat like that?" "Because we need food to make energy, and we need energy to fight." Bulma ate one more bite of her cake. " Well, I'm not too hungry. So you can have the rest." Vegeta gobbled it down. It was so embarrasing to be married to a saiyan.
Disclaimer: I dont own Dragonball Z. I don't own any of the books Vegeta reads. I hate to read. I only read Stephen King. So if you think that I would own any of the other types of books that Vegeta reads, then maybe Vegeta needs to Stick his foot up your--you know. I don't think it's nesesary to cuss in a diclaimer. And I'm sorry I can't spell nesessary.
The following is a dream that took place while Vegeta was under the gas so they could operate: *****
The big booming red faced man in the leprechaun hat took Vegeta to a wonderful place. But all the man could do was laugh. His big jolly belly shook! Vegeta laughed with him. "Who are you?" He asked, looking at the rainbows and Unicorns. The Unicorns that were tapdancing. "Who am I?" The man replied. "I am your dreams and your wishes! Your hopes and your faiths!" "Sounds like bullsh*t to me." Vegeta said. "Take me back to my um, world thingy. I'm ready to wake up now." The man laughed. "No, Vegeta! Your under laughing gas! You can't get out! Enjoy it while you can and take a slide down a rainbow!" "Uh, No. I'm not that type of man. Now take me back or else." The fat man laughed again. It was really starting to annoy Vegeta. "I don't like all your sissy stupid fag stuff. Now LET ME WAKE UP." The man laughed. "Listen! If you don't let me wake up, I'm gonna use you as a beach ball, fatty! Then I'm gonna scrape off all your fat and use it cook my bacon! Then I'm going to jam my boot in your throat and fill you with maggots!" The man laughed. Then he turned into a huge monster. "Looks who's talking, Ugly!" It shouted. It had big horns, but it just looked like smoke. Vegeta jumped on a unicorn and kicked it. As it ran at breakneck speed, It's legs fell off! "Oh crap, I'm going to be screwed!" Vegeta said. A woman came out of a little glass hut. She was horribly ugly! "Are you holding auditions for that roll?" She asked, waddling toward him. She looked like a shrew! "No way! Your the ugliest woman I've ever seen!:" "How dare you call my unfaithful wife ugly!" The monster/fat guy said. It charged toward him. Vegeta guessed this was some on crack dream. Then a really pretty lady approached. "Hello." She said. "Hello!" Vegeta replied. "Your hitting on the ugliest lady in town!" The monster said. Vegeta relized this world was flipped all around. He tried to fly, but he only hopped. "This will do." He sighed. "Vegeta!" The monster said. "What?" He asked. "Vegeta!" The monster said. "WHAT?"! He asked. "VEGETA!" It said. "WHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????"***
Then he woke up. "Vegeta!" Bulma said, shaking him. "Where am I?!" He asked. He whipped his head around. "Where's the monster? And the shrew lady?!" She looked at him weird. Then he relized. "Bulma, am I dead?" She shook her head. "Your alive. Your just high because that doctor gave you too much." Vegeta lifted up his hospital gown and saw an ugly red cut and stitches wear his underwear line was. "Ew!" He said. Trunks ran into the room and launched himself right on top of Vegeta in that very spot. Vegeta's eyes seemed to bulge out of his head as he screamed in pain. Rivers of blood spouted from between the stitches. "Trunks. That was disrespectful!" Bulma said. She picked him up and set him off the bed. Goku wheeled in. " Hiya, Vegeta! Bulma told me you hate me! Is this true?"
"Yes." Vegeta said bordly. "Why don't you go away? I already had to deal with one ugly shrew." "Okay. I'm gone." Goku said, and he wheeled out. "Where's Akurei?" Vegeta said. "He told me he was coming to check on me." Bulma was wiping the blood off Vegeta's stomach." He'll be here, I bet." sHe said. Then the doctor walked in. He looked ugly. " Good morning!" He said. Trunks pulled his pants down. There were red flowers on his thongs. "Your wearing panties like MOMMY.' Trunks said, giggling. "Exactly like mommy!" Vegeta said, then he howled with laughter. "Not really." Bulma said. "Mine like that don't have all the skid marks." "Honey, those aren't skid marks." Vegeta said. (If you don't know what it was ask about it in my reveiw) Then he laughed harder. The doctor pulled his pants up. A breeze was floating in through the window. "Vegeta, I've come to talk about your health." He said. Vegeta looked at him. "Yeah, so?" "Well,you have alot of stress." The doctor said. "By the looks of your panties, so do you." Trunks said. The doctor ignored him. "You need to slim down on your stress." Bulma cut in. "We just went on a Vacation. We don't need another."
"Whats all this We sh*t?" The doctor said. "Vegeta needs one by himself." "By myself?" Vegeta asked. "I can't possibly do that." The doctor looked at him. "Will you if I throw in some panties?"
Vegeta had agreed that he would go away for 3 weeks for the sake of his health. But after he got out of the hospital. "You can go home whenever your ready." The doctor said. Vegeta nodded. "But do you think that it's wise to leave my family without protection for 3/4 of a month?" "We'll be okay." Bulma said. "Remember? Goku's staying with us." The nurses were packing up Vegeta's things because he was about to go home. Vegeta was a little worried about that, too. Bulma helped him into the sitting postion, although it was painful. "He can barely sit up!" Bulma protested. "How can you send him away like this!" She gave Veggie a hug. "He'll be alright." The doctor said. Vegeta wasn't so sure. The nurses were done packing up. "Goodbye, Vegeta!" Bulma said, and he gave her a big Veggie hug. "I'll be alright." He said. "But wait-- I have something for you." He pulled a sack out from underneath his hospital bed. There was a box in it. "Veggie, what's this?" Bulma asked. He smirked. "Open it." She opened the box and, inside was......Yes, you guessed it! Bulma's red shoes!!! "Thank you Vegeta!" She said. "But can you do something for me?" "What?" Vegeta asked. "Hurry, I have to leave." "You have to take Rex with you." Vegeta's eyes got wide. "WHAT?!" He asked. "Do you think I'm CRAZY?! You know I'm afriad of dogs! I buy you some expensive shoes and you ask me to take a DOG with me?!" "But Vegeta, your weak from surgery. If something comes, you'll need Rex to protect you. Just drop by the house and pick him up, please?" Vegeta stared crosswise. "Alright." He said. "But if he rips out my intestines, don't cry to Shenron." She nodded.
Vegeta was leading Rex through the woods into a cabin. Rex wasn't going so willingly. He had to drag his butt through bramble bushes, so Rex was in pain. "I don't like this either!" Vegeta said. "But my wife made me. If you want to bite someone, bite her for crying outloud. Now cooperate!" Rex growled and snapped. Vegeta noticed that it was getting pretty dark, and the moon was coming up. "Oh, that's just NICE. Very NICE! Yes, Mr doctor and Bulma and Trunks, this is a good idea, but look who's talking? You get to sleep in your nice warm water beds and I--" He creaked open the front door to the cabin. It was all one room. A twin sized bed, A kitchen table, a stove, a heater, and a small black and white TV. No toilet. He would have to go outside. Rex trotted inside and layed down on a round rug. He closed one eye and watched Vegeta with the other. (Oh, I forgot. There was a phone)Vegeta eyed the phone and picked it up. He dialed Bulma's number. "Hello?" Asked Bulma. She sounded distressed. There was loud music in the background. "It's me." Vegeta said. "Oh, hi dear!" Bulma said. "Whats going on? Did you make it out there Okay?" Vegeta heard her go into a quiet room and shut the door. His guess was the closet. "I'm fine." Vegeta said. "But what's all that music? Am I missing something?" Bulma shut another door. "Um, no. Goku just has some friends over, thats all." "Friends like Picollo? That drug dealing drunk! I'm going to GET him for sending me to jail!" Bulma hesitsted, then answered. "Yes, he's here, but he's drunk so he doesn't remember." "Okay." Vegeta said. "I'm going to give you some instructions, Bulma." "Okay." She said. "What is it." "Boil up some water, so hot it almost turns to steam." He heard Bulma's new high heels tap on the kitchen floor as she went to the stove. He heard her get out a metal pan and put some water in, then he heard the stove knob click as she set it to 400degrees fahreignheit. "Why am I doing this?" She asked. "Just wait." Vegeta said. "I garuntee you'll love it." They waited about 15 minutes until the water was boiling. "Now take the water and put it in an empty beer bottle." She put on oven mits and poored the water into a glass beer bottle. "Now give it to picollo and tell him it's a rare wine, and if he doesnt drink it fast it could kill him." "Here Picollo!" Bulma said as she handed Picollo the bottle full of still boiling water. "Drink it FAST or it will kill you!" Picollo held it to his green lips and guzzled it down. It seemed to take him 5 seconds to realize the water was hot. Immediatly blisters formed on his toungue and throat. "How did that get in there?" Bulma said. "Well, I was right. Had you drunk it any slower, your tongue would be ashes!" She giggled as picollo writhed on the floor in pain. "I did it!" Bulma said. "It's funny." Picollo ran out the door. "That got rid of him." "I knew it would." Vegeta said. "Now fill ALL his beer bottles with expensive tabasco sauce. That'll break his drinking problem." "Okay." Bulma said. "Thanks for the good advice." "Any time." Vegeta said. "Trunks really misses you!" Bulma said. "He said Rex probley killed you by now. And I miss you too. How is Rex?" "REX is fine." Vegeta said. "He gets to sleep, carefree, while I have to make a fire in the heater to stay warm because its on of the ones you have to stock full of wood. You know, the old ones?" "Yeah, I know." Bulma said. "Have fun on your WATER BED!" Vegeta wailed. "My bed is made of ROCKS, I swear. It's a big change and it's small compared to our king sized." "Your not supposed to be worrieying." Bulma said. "How's your stomach?"
"My stomach's not so good." "Oh, well get better. I have to go, Chi Chi's doing a strip tease and I need to stop her!" "Okay, bye Bulma." "Bye Vegeta. I love you." Vegeta grunted and hung up, like he always did. Then he flounced on the bed and almost busted his head open on the hard matress. He was still rubbing it, when he fell asleep.
It was 12:00 midnight at Bulma's and Trunks's house. Goku had to take Chi Chi to the hospital when she fell while doing the strip tease, so they were all alone. It was about that time that Bulma was thinking that the room was very quiet without Vegeta's snoring when she heard a noise. It was the living room door opening!! She layed there for a good five minuted debating on what to do. She slipped into her shoes and slowly walked down the hall. At first she saw nothing. And then.... A big scary man darted down the hall! He tripped her and ripped the shoes off her feet. "These will make a great present for my girlfriend!" He shouted. Then he ran into Bulma's room. "My shoes!" She said. She ran after him. "Nobody takes MY shoes!" She screamed. She ninja kicked the man into the T.V. She wasn't aware she knew karate. She stood in a karate stance. "Come on!" She said. "Give me my shoes!" The man threw a telephone at her. "That was GRANDMA'S!!" She yelled, and hurled a flower vase at him.He screamed as it hit him in the head. She zoomed over and grabbed her shoes. "Okay, buster! You get out of my house before I kick your @$$!!" The man laughed. Bulma hurled a high heel right at him. It twirled through the air and the heel hit the guy right in the nuts. He screamed and howled.
Bulma zoomed over and cracked him over the head with her fists. Then she whipped around and caught him in the lips with her elbow. She could feel his lips split as she hit them. It was satisfactory. "Thats why Vegeta likes doing this so much!" She said. The man lay there groaning. "Let that be a lesson to you!!! NOBODY comes in my house!" The man started to say something. "After I waited all that time to rob this house; I waited until the man with the big muscles and the doberman dog were gone." "That goes to show you they aren't the only ones in this house who are worth something." Bulma said. She put on her shoe. "No! Don't!" The man said. "Sorry, but I need you to shut up while I call the police. And my husband. I bet he'll pay a nice PAINFUL visit to you when he gets back." She laughed evilly. "No!" The man said as she stomped on his head with her high heel and knocked him out.
Vegeta had been sleeping when the phone rang. "Hello?" He asked annoyed. "Who IS this?!" The person on the other line was breathing hard. "Its me!" Bulma said. "You'll never guess what I just did!!!" Vegeta sighed." Probley not. What, did you buy a new dress?" He was used to her calling him for useless things. "No! I beat up a robber!"
"Nice story."He said. "Now go back to bed-" "No! Really! There was this guy in the house and I beat him up with those kicks you taught me to protect myself." "You?" Vegeta said. "A man came in the house? Did he hurt Trunks or you? I should come home unless he comes back." "No! He's in jail. But I'm so proud of myself." "Why didn't you use the gun?!"Bulma laughed. "I wanted to try out the moves you taught me!" She said. Vegeta coulden't beleive what he was hearing. "You could have been KILLED." He said. "Well, I wasn't ." Bulma said. "Bye!" "Bye." Vegeta said, still thinking about how crazy she was. Bulma hung up. Vegeta closed his eyes and coulden't get any more sleep. Rex was at the door and was scratching at it. "What do you want?" Vegeta said. He was trying to think why dogs would scratch on the door. Maybe he wants me to play with him? Vegeta thought. "No way, Stupid scary dog. I'm not playing with a monster like you. I already can't get off my bed because of you." Rex started barking as well as sctratching.
"Maybe you want something to eat?" Vegeta asked. He flew up as high as he could go without spearing himself on the plant hooks and went to the cabinet. A can was labled 'DOGGY YUMMIEZ FOOD'. "How do I open a can?" Vegeta asked himself. He bashed it on the cabinet. It dented. "Oh, Sh*t!!" He cursed. He smashed the dent back into normal standing and then he got an idea. "I know! I'll set the can in a bowl and KI blast it so it explodes!" He found a plastic red bowl that said 'rex' on it. He set the can inside. Then he blasted it with a weak blast. Success! There was food in the bowl. He looked in. "Looks yummy." He mumbled. Then he saw something shiny and silver. He popped it in his mouth and chewed. "OW!" He said. He could taste blood. "Peices of the can! Sh*t!!"
So he spent three hours picking peices of metal out of Rex's food. Then he was finally done. Rex was laying down, lazilly scratching at the door. "Here, Rexie." Vegeta said. He dropped the bowl. Rex waddled over and sniffed it. Then he looked up at Vegeta and Barked. "No way am I coming down there so you can kill me." Vegeta said. "I'm way smarter than that!" Vegeta said. "ooh, a penny." He almost flew down to pick it up, but he stopped himself. "I have to resist this horrible temptation!!" He said. Then he got an idea. "Maybe, possibly, he has to go to the bathroom." Vegeta thought. So he flew down and opened the door. Rex stared barking and spitting and making a ruckus. "Geezus me!" Vegeta gasped. "Dogs are loud!" He swung open the door. "Rex, you stupid mutt! Shut your face!" But Rex kept barking. "Gosh darn!" Vegeta slomped down on the bed and started flipping channels over Rex's insane barking. It was on a very insteresting channel for men(If you know what I mean) when the cable went off. "Oh no!!" Vegeta said. "The antennae must have blown at a strange angle!" He was about to go outside and fly up on the roof in attempt to repair it, when he noticed that the wind was whipping the trees all around at strange angles. He got to thinking that those trees wo0uld be HIM if he tried to fly up in the air in this weather. So he decided to stay inside and watch the only channel he was getting right now, and that was Animal Planet. They were getting on the topic of show dolphins.
Bulma got up in the morning. She was happy and refreshed because she beat up a robber. She decided that she wanted Trunks to train her so she could defend herself without that 'criminal paralyzer' thingy, because she liked the way that taking things into her own hands felt like. She got up and put on her pretty red shoes. Then she went down stairs and with her red magic marker prepared to put a big red X on the previous day on the calendar. The date read October 17th. She stared at the words written on the date. They said 'Bulma's Birthday today!!' Then she looked at November 14th. Those words said 'The prince of Saiyans Birthday'. She tried to process what these words meant. "These words, and fabulous context clues must mean...." She thought some more. "Must mean that it's my birthday!!" She clapped her hands. "I have to call Vegeta! Maybe he has something special planned! And Trunks can teach me how to fight for my present!" She grabbed the phone and she dialed. "Hey Vegeta!" She shouted as soon as he picked up the phone. He was ticked off. "It's not Vegeta." He said. "Then who is it? Vegeta's new 'freind'? Is he too good for me? Does he prefer the copmpany of MEN?!" "No, defenetly not. This is someone who is not Vegeta.Someone who is not too good for you. Someone who wants you to hang up and call back in 1,000 years." Bulma stared at the mouthpeice of the phone and screamed in to it. "LISTEN, VEGETA!!" SHe squealed. "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND IF I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I GET TO TALK TO YOU! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! NOW ADMIT TO BEING VEGETA OR I'LL HANG A PICTURE OF YAMCHA IN THE GRAVITY ROOM AND I WON'T LET YOU THROW DARTS AT IT! THEN I'LL INVITE KRILLIN FOR A NICE ROUND OF POKER! " "Fine. This is Vegeta." "......." "HOLY SH*T! Did you say it was your birthday?" "Yes I did. Your rude." "Happy birthday to Bulma! Happy Birthday to YOUUUU!!" Vegeta rasped. "Can I watch T.V now?" He asked. "No. What are you going to get me for my birthday?" Vegeta thought. "Can I come to your party today and come RIGHT back here?"
Bulma made a funny humming sound. "I don't think so. The doctor's said if you get much more stress in 3 weeks, you could die." Vegeta was silent. "Oh, fine. But only for a little while." "Okay. Maybe we could go on a midnight stroll or something." "Vegeta?" "What?" "Who says 'stroll' anymore. Your supposed to say romp." "Romp sounds too sexual. I say stroll." "Say March."
"Marching is what those Robots do. No way." "Bye. Seeya laterz." "Bai." Bulma hung up. She stared putting up stremers and stuff for her party. She was happy because she loved birthday parties. But when she stepped into her living room to set up the table, the lights were all clicked off. She coulden't see a thing. She was feeling around when she heard "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BULMA!!"
It was a suprise party! Goku, Krillin, Chi Chi,Gohan, Videl, Goten, Trunks, Picollo and Yamcha were all behind the couches or chairs. Yamcha looked zoned out like usuall. "Why did you do this?!" She asked. She didn't look happy. She had dropped her martini. "We thought you might like it mom! And look!!" He pointed at the table. Gifts were piled up to the brim! And a big chocolate brownie cake that said, 'Happy Birthday Bulma!' Bulma stared at the colorful wrapping paper and tried to guess what was in them. The one from Yamcha was only a card. "Don't you give that to me!" She shouted, chunking the card at him. "I know you can afford to buy me a real present! Now you march out that door right now and get me something worth openeing!" They all stared and hoped Bulma liked their presents. "We have games, Mommy!" Trunks said. "A pinata and Pin the tail on the donkey! And hide and go seek!" "Oh lovely." Bulma said. "But we have to wait until your father gets here. Sorry." Trunks sat down. "What can we do until then?" "Well, you can all go into the kitchen and help me put up the party supplies that I put up for myself because I didn't know I was having a party from you guys! And after Vegeta gets here and the games are done, which I hope we do quickly, We are going to watch some movies!" They all groaned because they knew what type of movies Bulma liked. Cheesy romances or mild horror. And if it was horror, the animation was off. Then, the window broke and Vegeta flew in. He had sticks in his hair. "Vegeta!" Bulma squealed. She ran over and gave him a big hug. He returened it and looked at everything. "What happened here?! It looks like a happy bomb went off!"
"A happy bomb?" Goku asked. Vegeta glared at him horribly. It was such a horrible ugly face Goku almost fainted. "We are going to play games and eat cake and open presents and bust a pinata!" Trunks said. "It'll be so fun, right dad?!" "Yes, the greatest." Vegeta said. "Let's get this over with so I can get back to my solitude." They all romped out into the hugr back yard. A colorful pinata desighned to look like a bull was hanging and swinging back in forth in the tree Vegeta liked to sit in. Goku ran over and grabbed the rope to pull it up and down. "Who wants to go first?!" Bulma asked. "I do!" Trunks said. And Bulma let him because he was her child. She put a flowery bandanna around his little neck and spun him around. Then she handed him a baseball bat. He wandered around. "Where is it?" He asked. "Where?"
"I know!" Picollo said. "It's over here!" Trunks charged and began hitting Picollo with the bat with all his strength. "I found it!" He called. "Look mom! Has the candy spilled yet?" Bulma was silent. "No son!" Vegeta yelled. "Keep on hitting it!!" So Trunks kept on beating Picollo until he felt a small object hit his bare foot. "Candy!" He said, and he tore off the bandana. But it was one of Picollo's teeth. "EW!" Trunks said. "What kind of weirdo fills a pinata with pointy teeth?!" Then he looked up at the bleeding and angry Picollo. "If I was full of Booze, I would kill you." Picollo said through swollen lips. His eye was all swollen too. "Let me try!" Goten said. He swung at it three times, but he missed. So Bulma wanted to go. Goku tied the bandana around her eyes and spun her around as everyone else watched. She stepped over toward the pinata. Vegeta was whispering, 'NO! It's over there! To the left! Yes, that's it!" Bulma swung as hard as she could. Goku jerked the rope up, and the Pinata dashed over her head. She tripped and landed on her head. Krillin gazed down her dress. "You little pervert!" Vegeta yelled and launched a powerball. It set Krillin's butt on fire. Krillin put it out in the swimming pool. "Let me!" Vegeta said. "Okay!" Bulma said, and she got up and dusted herself off. Gohan tied the bandanna around Vegeta's eyes as he griped that it was a half @$$ job. Then he spun him around. "Alright." He said, handing him the bat. "Go for it!" Vegeta dashed toward the direction of the Pinata and swung wildly. It thumped the bottom of the pinata but only skimmed as Goku jerked it up. Vegeta screamed and pumped the bat again, this tgime missing completly. He swung it so hard it made a whizzing sound. The force of missing caused him to spin around in a crazy circle. By now he was storming mad. He screamed in rage.
"Your turn is over." Goku said plainly. Vegeta charged at Goku and swung the bat. It hit him right in the ribs. He uttered a horrible sound and fell to the ground. Vegeta began beating him horribly, each hit followed by a terrible groan. Bulma ran over and took the bat. "Remember what the doctor said about your stress, honey." Bulma said. Vegeta growled and stalked back to stand in line. On his way by, he punched the Pinata, now aware of his own strength. Candy showered down on his head and in his hair. As everybody scrambled to get trrhe candy, Vegeta unwrapped a Snickers and ate it.
Later, Akurei had arrived. He was late because he said he was in a hot tub full of young schoolteachers. No one beleived him. He was the first one up for Pin The Tail on the Donkey. It was one of his favorites. Bulma gave him a razor sharp tack to put the tail on with.Then she attached the tail on it. "Why did you make it so sharp?" He asked. "Because I hate how sometimes it won't go in." Bulma explined. "Are you ready?" He nodded. Bulma spun him around about 17 times. He was dizzy by the time she was finished, and when he staggered toward the donkey, he was a little too far left. "Your so stupid!" Vegeta laughed. "You can't even get the tail CLOSE to the donkey!" Akurei took 3 steps to the right. "Too far right, you stupid!" Vegeta howled. "Stop it!" Bulma scolded. But Vegeta didn't stop. "Your so stupid and ugly too!" Akurei staggered. "Shut up Man!!" He growled. He felt the wall for the plastic mat. "Ha ha! That won't work. We DREW the donkey on the wall with washable marker, you strupid excuse for a Saiyan!" "SHUT UP!" Akurei said. He was getting really mad. Vegeta shrugged. "Hey, don't get all mad at me because I'm smarter and more handsome than you." "That's it!" Akurei shouted. He jumped on top of Vegeta and started poking him all over. "Ow ow ow!" Vegeta yelled. He tried to buck Akurei off.
"This tack is sharp! SHARRRRP!" Bulma tried to pull Akurei off as he was assaulting Vegeta with a thumb tack. "Um, please stop poking my husband." Bulma said quietly. "You have to do better than that!" Vegeta hissed. "He's killing me! Remember, Bulma? My stress?!" "Um, It's not a good idea to poke Vegeta." BUlma said. "If his stress level gets too high, he could have a heart attack!" Akurei stabbed even harder. "That's it!" Bulma yelled. She karate kicked Akurei off Vegeta. "FIRST, YOUR LATE TO MY PARTY!" She yelled, and kicked him in the head. "THEN, YOU START ASSAULTING MY HUSBAND WITH A THUMB TACK!" She kicked him with her high heel in thye left ear. Vegeta was wiping Kleenex's all over the bloody spots. "WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Bulma howled, kicking his ribs and stomach. ''I WON'T STAND FOR IT!" She kicked Akurei so hard he flew into the next wall. "Gosh." Vegeta said. "She's strong for a woman." Bulma dived on top of Akurei and started beating the crap out of him. He howled and screamed. Krillin pulled Bulma off of Akurei. "Mommy, can I try?" Trunks asked. "Go right ahead, Trunks!" Bulma said. Her voice croaked terribly. Trunks dove toward Akurei, but Vegeta grabbed the back of his shirt. He Put Trunks up on his shoulders. "Let's go play something else." He said. 'This is boring." Trunks grabbed onto his dad's shirt. "Run, daddy, run!!" He said. 'So Vegeta ran with Trunks on his back for a while. They all just watched. Akurei was limping over to the barbecue grill to support himself. "I n-need h-h-help." He croaked. But it was in vein. "No one wants to help you." Picollo said in his boring voice. Akurei collapsed in a faint. "I think he died." Picollo said. "Nonsense!" Chi CHi said. "Just give me 2 minutes with him! He'll feel absolutly better!" She grabbed Akurei's arm and pulled him into the kitchen. Vegeta stopped running. "I'm getting tired." He said. "What next so I can leave?" They all thought. "Oh, I know!" Goku said. "Let's play tag!" "Tag?!" Asked Bulma. "I love tag!" Vegeta shook his head. "No way. I just ran like a mile." "Well we can fly then!" Goku said. "I can't fly." Builma said. "You can ride on me, Mommy." Trunks said. But Trunks was too small so she just rode on Vegeta instead. Yamcha was asleep on the table. The game of tag was really fun, but it was tireing. Every time Vegeta tagged someone, they rolled across the yard. Bulma was being bucked back and forth and all around, so her stomach didn't feel the best. "Vegeta, stop it!" Bulma said. "I don't think I want to play tag anymore!" She said. Vegeta came to a screeching halt which sent Bulma careening into the garbage cans. When she pulled her head up, a small yellow and ROTTEN banana peel was on her head. Trunks peeled it off. "Cool!" He said. "Now you smell." Bulma stood up. "That's it! Everybody go home!" Bulma yelled. They all just looked in awe. "I mean it, Krillin, Gohan, Videl, Yamcha, Picollo....Go home. Goku and Chi Chi and Goten--Go to your room!"
They all stared. "No." Picollo said. "You haven't even opened your presents yet." "I don't need your help to open presents. Now leave!" "......." "I'm warning you...."
"......." BUlma kicked, karate chopped, and ear-boxed everyone. They screamed and ran out of the Capsule Corporation. "Now." She said. "About my presents." Vegeta was starting to get really scared of Bulma's mood swings. "Trunks, your going to teach me how to protect myself while your dad is away getting rid of some insanity." Now she seemed cheerful again. "And Vegeta, we can talk about my present later! Now I have to open all these presents!" She picked up a package and shook it. Then she opened it. It was a glass duck. But it was broken. "What kind of freak gives me a broken duck?" Bulma said. "I don't even like ducks!" She read the name tag. It said, 'from Gohan'. "Maybe it's broke up because you shook it, mommy." Trunks said. "Do you want a slap in the mouth?" Bulma asked. He looked at his feet. Bulma threw the broken duck away. Then she picked up the next present and opened it. It was a sticker book. She took out a sticker and stuck it, but then she got bored and threw it away. "What stupid presents so far!" She said. The book was from Picollo. He seemed fascinated with small and stupid things. Then she came to Krillin's present. It was a blonde wig. "Just because he's bald doesn't mean I am!" BUlma screamed. When she threw it it landed on Vegeta's head. He would look really good with long blonde hair. Bulma opened up various other presents. None of them were good ones at all. "This sucks balls!" Bulma said. "Nobody can even get me a decent present!"
"Ummm..." Vegeta said, taking off the wig. "We could goooo.....Dancing?" Bulma looked at him awkwardly. He hoped he had said the right thing. "Dancing?" Bulma said. "Why would you suggest that?" "Because we could....eat dinner too? And go on a night stroll? And throw eggs at people from a bridge?" "It sounds great except the last part." Bulma said. "Eggs are expensive." "They don't have to be our eggs." Vegeta said. "We could steal them." "We're not stealing and going to jail over EGGS, Vegeta." Bulma said. "Let's go!" Vegeta was happy because he wanted to go home and this would be over with fast.
"Where can we eat?" Bulma asked. "It has to be all you can eat." Vegeta said. "Other than that, I don't care." Bulma thought. "Does McDonalds have all you can eat?" Vegeta shook his head. "Let's go to a place that goes with our budget, you know, like a fancy buffet." "Okay." Bulma said. "But there's not really any fancy buffets around, do you think?" Vegeta thought. How rare. "I know! Luby's!" "OKay." Bulma said. "That sounds good!" Vegeta landed at Luby's. It was really crowded. "You would think that a prince would get VIP passes." So they waited in a long line. Then they finally got into the buffet part. There was Asperagus and Green beans in the Vegetable section. Bulma got Lettuce and Tomatoes with ranch dressing, and Vegeta got 16 cherry tomatoes in a little green bowl. Then they went to the meat section. Vegeta got 10 fried chicken legs. Bulma got mini sausages. Then they passed on to the next section, soups. Vegeta got two bowls of clam chowder. Bulma didn't get anything. And on the desert place, Vegeta got 8 cinamon rolls and 7 brownies. Bulma got a small peice of cake. Then they payed for the food which was a staggering $42.50, And sat at a table by the window. AS Vegeta gobbled down his food, he was looking outside. Nothing unusual. Just a man shooting somebody. Vegeta was done eating Before BUlma even had her 4th bite. "God your a pig." Bulma said. "Why do Saiyans eat like that?" "Because we need food to make energy, and we need energy to fight." Bulma ate one more bite of her cake. " Well, I'm not too hungry. So you can have the rest." Vegeta gobbled it down. It was so embarrasing to be married to a saiyan.