Chapter 9
Discalimer: I do not own DragonBallZ or any of the charectars associated. I also do not own Wal Mart or anything else copyrighted on this story.
Now, it was time for Veggie and Bulma to go dancing. They were choosing a place with their Mapsco that they stole from Wal Mart because the checkout lines were too long. "Let's go clubbing!" Bulma said. "Clubbing?" Vegeta asked. "What is a club?" Bulma looked up. "Well, they have music and beer, and if your a guy and you care, they might have young single women. But you woulden't care about that." Vegeta shrugged. "Maybe I would." He said. He pointed to a large pink building across the street. "Is that a club?" Music was booming out of it and you could tell by the windows blinking that a strobe light was on. "Yes, that's one!" Bulma said. The club was called 'Honk Your Horn'.(Get it? I made it up!) "Let's go there." Bulma suggested. "I bet they play nice music." Vegeta nodded. "Okay." So he landed in front of the club and opened the door. What he saw was so wonderful to him he almost cried. Skinny Teenage girls in short shorts and bikini tops were pole dancing on a pole dancing stage! (Ew. What a perv) Bulma saw it. "Oh my god!" She said. The girls were dancing to the song 'Cottoneyed Joe'. "I really like this place!" Vegeta said, running inside. He was staring. "Stop it!" Bulma said. "Your a married guy! We're leaving!" Vegeta groaned. "But Can't i live like I was single just one more time? Please? You don't have to watch and I promise I'll dance with you!!" Bulma looked into Vegeta's puppy dog eyes. "God he's a perv." She thought. "Okay." She said. "But only for a while." Vegeta jumped. "I'll go get us some drinks!" She said, and she started over to the drink counter.
When she came back, she saw a horrifying sight! Vegeta was chatting with one of the pole dancers. Bulma was outreaged. She ran over and slugged the girl right across the face. "You stupid ugly B*tch!" Bulma cried. The girl flew off the Pole Dancing stage and fell to the floor. Vegeta tried to hold Bulma back, but she was struggling and he didn't want to hurt her, so he let her go. She started punching and kicking the girl. "How dare you touch my husband!" Bulma said. She broke a beer bottle over the girls head. She was practiccly seeing stars! "Please stop." Said the girl through tears. Vegeta grabbed Bulma's arm and dragged her out. "What were you doing?" Vegeta asked. "We were talking about a basketball team!" Bulma frowned. "Yeah right!" She said. "Maybe about the basketball team she strips for! I'm so mad at you, Vegeta." He rolled his eyes. "Not again." He said. "Let's go dancing somewhere nice." Vegeta said. "A place with NO distractions." Bulma was still mad. "OKay." She said. "No more stupid ugly strippers." Vegeta nodded. "alright." Bulma hopped on Vegeta's back. "When are you and Trunks going to start your training?" Bulma thought. "Tomarrow, I guess. And the whole time until your done with your vacation. I need something to do at night." Vegeta was silent. "I don't like you fighting people while I'm gone." "Why, are you afraid I'll get hurt?" Bulma asked, wanting him to be worried. "No." Vegeta said. "You'll take all the credit." Bulma didn't know if that was a joke or not, but either way she didn't like it. "I won't take the credit!" Bulma said. "Remember those red shoes you got me? That last dude was going to take them home and use them for his Girlfriend. But I beat him up with those!! They were a really great weapon!" "I bought those for you! I'll bet you got blood on them, right?" Bulma scoffed. "No, I hit him in the nuts." "Ooooohhhh..." Vegeta said. "Poor Guy." "It can't hurt that bad. " Vegeta shook his head. "You don't realize what that feels like! It feels like your taking away our manhood!!" "Don't worry. We don't want to take away all that makes you a man. Then where would our entertainment be?" Vegeta realized she had a point. But he still felt sorry for the poor burglar. "Did he steal anything of mine?" Vegeta asked. "Some of my books?" By now, Bulma had gotten Vegeta a big oak bookcase of books. There were hundreds! 50 of which Vegeta already had read. "Nope. He didn't seem interested in books." "Gee, he really was a creep." She hoped Vegeta didn't notice she had taken one of his books, ripped the pages out, and gave them to a bum to line him clothes with. But she decided she needed to tell him while they were on the way to dance. "Um, how do you feel about bums?" Bulma ask. "Bum? What is a bum?" Bulma thought of how to say it in a way he would understand. Then she got it. "Bum. Commoner in royal people talk. They don't have any money, and they ask you for money and food and stuff."
"Oh, you mean grifters? Gee, I think they're ugly and stinky and stupid and poor and fags and I hate them." BUlma gulped. "Well sometimes, they get really cold. I mean, really really cold. And there was this one standing on the side of the street. All he had was a thin jacket in -5 degree weather. So you know what I did?" "Do I WANT to know?" Bulma thought. "No." "Okay then." She shut up. It was about time she did that.
"Where is my mommy and daddy!?" Trunks asked. Goku, Chi Chi and Goten were tied up in the living room with socks on their mouths. All of Trunks' soldier and indian action figures he loved to play with were gathered around. "Tell, me! Or we'll scrafice you to Wee-Zee-La-Po-Tlie. He's a god in indian." He is, the sun god. But its spelled guezelapotili. Goten spit out his sock. "I want to play indians! Let me out!" "Shut up!! " Trunks said. he moved a toy soldier with a spear next to Goten's face. The spear was almost tounching his eye. "If you value your seeing eye, you will tell me." "I don't know!" Goten said, and he cried. "Ask daddy and mommy!!" (This soldier toy was one that launched the spear if you pushed a button) Trunks pushed the button on the back of the soldier. The spear hit and bounced off Goten's eye. It didn't poke it out, but it poked it alright.
"Ow, my eye!" Goten said. "Trunks, your mean!" Trunks moved all the soldier and indian's arms where they were aiming their spears at him. Trunks moved to Chi Chi. "Perhaps you will talk." He moved the captain soldier action figure. "There's a handsome man in it for you." He made the action figure make a suductive pose. "Well, they went dancing."
"Exactly where?" Trunks asked. "Um, as handsome as your guy is, I don't know. ONly Goku knows." Trunks shot two spears at Chi Chi. One hit her in the nose, the other in the forehead. "There are 12 more men that I can use to make you talk!" Trunks said. "Now tell me! Where is my mommy and daddy?"
Goku started to cry. "Please don't sik the soldiers on me! I promise I'll be good! I'll tell you everything that I know! They went out to eat at Luby's! They went to dance at a club! Your mother thinks George bush is hot and your father plays knife games!!!" Trunks looked at him cockeyed. "Okay. But you still get 6 spears because your ugly." He shot six spears at Goku.
They decided to stop and dance at the Country Club. They were having one of those little dance thingy's. Vegeta liked it because there was food. The song playing was a slow waltz. When they started to dance, Vegeta stepped on Bulma's feet and smashed her toes. "OW!" She cried. "YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE HOOVES, YOU STUPID KLUTZ! LEARN SOME RESPECT!" Vegeta looked at the ground. "Sorry. My mind's somewhere else. I was thinking about that poor stripper." "Wrong thing to say, buddy!" BUlma said, and she stomped on Vegeta's toe. "Owch." He said. "That's angering." But he tried to keep his temper in check because of all the people around. Then he zoned out and he danced just fine. It's funny. With the stripper on his mind, he danced bad. but without Bulma on his mind, he danced okay. Vegeta was staring blankly at Bulma's face with his mouth open zoned out. "I didn't know I was that pretty." BUlma said. A string of drool fell from Vegeta's bottom lip. Bulma slapped him back into reality. "Oh! Sorry." He said. So Vegeta focused on a painting. Then some drunk rich people (Not unusual at a country club) stepped up on the little stage thingy. "We are goinnnnnnn to recites a poem." One of the guys said. "How embarrasing." Vegeta said. "Getting up in public drunk like that." "JUst watch!" BUlma said. "Sometimes they make complete fools of themselves." They started a Poem. "Three Blind Mice!" One said. "Three blind mice! See how they twinkle! Twinkle little star! How I Hey diddle diddle! The cat and the Little Jack horner! Sittin in a corner! Stuck his thumb in a dumb old pie. The end." Vegeta's mouth hung open. "Bulma, that was a mixture of like 5 nursery rhymes." Bulma shrugged. An old lady walked over. "Hello, Bulma dear!" She said. "Um, hello Agnis." Bulma said in a bored voice. "How are you?" Vegeta had never seen this Agnis before in his life. An old man walked beside Agnis. He had a glass on his eye. "Hello, young chap!" He said, and he slapped Vegeta on the back. "I'm not a chap and if you touch me again I'll rip your arm off." Bulma glared at Vegeta. "This is Agnis and her husband Casey." Vegeta laughed. "Casey? What a gay name." The man looked sad. "You guys are pretty old." Vegeta said. "70? 80?" "Nope." Said Agnis. "We're 34." Vegeta laughed. "You need some wrinkle cream if your 34. Your younger than me and Bulma and we don't have any wrinkles!" Casey and Agnis were deeply disturbed. "Why are you at the Country Club tonight?" Casey asked. "We wanted to go dancing for my brithday." Bulma said. "His little present." Vegeta stared at Casey. "Do you have a problem with me?" Casey asked. "Yes! " Vegeta said. "Your ugly!" Casey was outraged. "Your the most rude, crass, horrible human being on earth and I don't know why Bulma wanted to marry you!" Bulma got P*ssed. "Are you questioning MY judjement?" She hissed. "And insulting MY husband?! Vegeta's right! YOu do need some Botox! You need to get laid! You need marriage counseling and whats with that little glass thing on your eye?!" She jumped on Casey and started beating him up.
Agnis and Casey made Bulma and Vegeta leave. "That wasn't fair." Vegeta said. "They don't have a right to tell us to leave." Bulma nodded. "Yes they do! Agnis screwed the club owner and now they can do whatever they want." "I can see how that would work." Vegeta said. As they floated past the 'Honk your Horn' club, Vegeta was tempted to fly down, but he didn't. He wanted to ditch Bulma off at home and get back to the cabin. He was really enjoying the time by himself. "How long do you have to stay there all by yourself?" Bulma asked. "I get worried about you with that dog. Don't let him outside unsupervised. He dosen't have rabies shots! Remember Cujo?" She said. Vegeta nodded. "Beleive me, If I could, he would be locked in the broom closet. I have to stay for 3 weeks. That's all. And I really like it."Bulma was enjoying her break too, but she thought that was horrible. "I wonder if Kakarott is still alive at home with Trunks. If he isn't, I'll be awfully proud!" Vegeta said. They landed at the Capsule Corp. Bulma opened the door and walked in. Goku, Chi Chi and a crying Goten were tied up. She sighed. "What happened, why did it happen, and did you have a motive?" She said. It was the usual thing she said every time Trunks was alone. "That's my boy!" Vegeta said. "Great job, Trunks!" "Are those words coming out of the mouth of the man who told me to 'have fun raising the little brat' when I got pregant?" Vegeta was ashamed. "I'll be in the kitchen." He said, and he sidestepped away. Bulma untied Goten. "Tell me what happened, Goten." Bulma said.
"I'll tell you what happened!" Goku said. "That little brat of yours went Incredible Hulk on me! I tried to stop him, but he's really strong. YOu guy trained him to hard! I tried to tell you, but--" Bulma shoved the sock into Goku's mouth. "Go on, Goten." She said. "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-T-Trunks grabbed me b-by my arms! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! T-then he put m-m-me in the o- ven and c-cooked me to a c-crisp and I d-died!!"
"Is THAT so, Goten?" Bulma said. "It's not, mom." Trunks mumbled. "He's lying. He's a big fat lier." "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH He c-called me fat!" "I did not. Your a big fat ugly poopyhead lier." "WAHAHAHWHAHWHAHWHAHWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "What kind of word is Poopyhead?" Said Picollo. "Where did you come from?" Bulma asked. "WE didn't ask you to." Picollo was ashamed. "I was wondering if you had any of those orange scented trash bags." Vegeta handed Bulma one from the kitchen. he was chomping on a banana. Bulma gave it to Picollo."Take it and go away." She said. Picollo gave a selute and ducked out. "This banana tastes bad." Vegeta explained. "I hate it when bits of the peel get stuck on it. It tastes bad." Bulma gave up in trying to get answers out of Goku's family. "All of you go back to your rooms NOW! I'm going to talk to my son up and personal about this!" "If you forgot, we can't walk when we're tied up." Chi Chi explained. Bulma untied them and they left. "Trunks....." Bulma whispered. "GOOD JOB!" Vegeta and Bulma cried in unison. They hugged and tousled Trunks' hair. "You sure showed Kakarott!" Vegeta said. "He looked so funny all tied up!"
"No kidding!" Bulma agreed. "He was like--" She put her fist in her mouth, crossed her eyes and made muffled noises. They al laughed.. Then Trunks aimed an action figure at Bulma. "Sit in the chair so I can tie you up." Trunks said.
Later, after Vegeta had knocked Trunks out so Bulma could get away, it was almost time for Vegeta to go back to his cabin. "That dog is probley raising heck." Vegeta said. "He might be hungry." Bulma nodded. She was brushing her hair by a mirror. "Can you stay for just one more night?" Bulma asked. "You can leave early in the morning." Vegeta shook his head. "Even one more night here would be stressful. That boy--god he makes me have breakdowns!" "But you woulden't ever have to leave this room!" Bulma said. Vegeta smiled. "Nope. I have to leave. There's plenty of time for that when I get back." Bulma sighed. "Okay, fine. Even though it is my birthday." Vegeta gave Bulma a hug and then they kissed for about 2 minutes, and then he flew out the window. The cabin was about 45 minutes away to a fast flying saiyan. He blasted as fast as he could go because he was ready to go to bed. And about 20 minutes into the flight he was wishing he had stayed at his house for one more night. When he finally got home, the dog was barking outside and throwing itself against the door. "Oh, stop it!" Vegeta said, opening the door as it ran at it. It careened inside and hit it's head on the dresser. "Serves you right!" Vegeta said. "You ruined a perfectly good screen door." Vegeta opened up the cabinet. He took out a can of creamed corn and opened it. Then he poored it in the dogs bowl because he hated corn. Then he put the bowl outside, and Rex eagerly ran outside and gobbled it up. Vegeta closed the glass door so he could see outside because it helped him sleep without the picture window in his room. Then Vegeta changed into some flannel pajamas. They were green and fuzzy. Then he got into bed and pulled the thin blanket up. He was still shivering. He could feel the air conditioner under that blanket. He cursed the stupid cabin as he powered up a little so he could generate his own body heat. He figuered he could stay at that level all night.
At about 2:00 AM, Vegeta awoke with a start. There was a horrible peal of thunder so loud Rex was yelping. Vegeta could hear greusome hail and hard rain pounding on the weak wooden ceiling. Leaks were dripping all over him. "Oh Sh*t!" He said, and he jumped out of bed. He flew up and put a peice of kleenex in a ceiling hole. It got soaked, and the water dripped again. "How do I plug up this stupid hole?" He asked himself. He put his finger in it. It stopped. He took his finger out. It leaked again. He whipped his head around and found a dusty action figure. He realized the last people who stayed her must have had children. He shoved it's head in the leak that was bothering him, and it stopped. Then He clicked on the T.V for weather. He didn't really care about the weather, but Trunks was afraid of Thunderstorms and he wanted to know if this one was bad enough to make Trunks start cutting himself. (Dont ask). An ugly old geezer was talking to the young news reporter. "No tornadoes, but hail and wind gusts of up to 70 MPH. Bring all pets in." Vegeta turned off the TV. "Ha. No way." He said. He glaned over at the door. rex was shivering at the door. He was soaking wet and his cropped ears were droopy. "Stupid dog." Vegeta said. "He's all wet." Then he realized that he was talking to himself. He climbed back into the tiny bed and gazed out the door. He kept staring at the sad looking dog outside. "I wonder if dogs are living things." He said. "Animals are living things. And dogs are on Animal Planet. That must mean dogs are living things. I wonder if he feels cold." He noticed how the dog was shivering. "When i am cold, I shiver." He stared at Rex for a long long time. And then he realized something. Rex was probably really uncomfortable being cold. He remembered how sometimes he had to pull the covers way over his head because he was cold and that would make him warm, but Rex didn't have any covers to pull over his head. And Rex coulden't power up to stay warm. So Vegeta decided to let Rex inside. He flew up and unlatched the door. Rex ran inside and jumped up on Vegeta's bed. He shook his fur and water flew everywhere. "Oh no!" Vegeta said. "Now there's water and stinky dog smell on my bed!" He used a small Ki Blast to knock Rex off. No way he was touching this evil creature. Vegeta realized that he was hungry. He walked into the kitchen and opened up the cabinets. Everything in there had to be heated up or cooked. Then it hit him. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE MICROWAVE OR COOK! "How am I going to eat?" He asked himself. "Bulma always cooks. I don't have any idea how to!" He looked at the oven. "She always puts the food in here. Maybe I just put it in there and the oven will do the work." He took out a frozen TV dinner and put it in the oven. Then he stood and waited for about 5 minutes.
"Darn!" Vegeta said, taking it out. "It didn't cook!" It was still frozen. It was making his hands cold so he put it down on the counter. "There's those little dail thingy's she turns every time she puts in food." Vegeta said. He put the food back in and turned the dial all the way up. In a matter of minutes He could smell it cooking. "Wow!" He said. "It smells good! But Bulma always leaves it for about 10 minutes in the oven. So I'll just wait." He waited ten minutes. His mouth was watering because he could smell it so vividly. He opened the oven and grabbed the hot TV dinner without a mit. "YEOUCH!" He screamed as he threw it on the counter and watched his hand as 2 blisters appeared. He popped his fingers in his mouth and looked at his food. It was a solid, fused black peice. It was burned to a crisp! Vegeta picked it up and threw it across the room in rage. It collided with the wall and busted into a thousand black peices. "Now I have to clean it up." He mumbled. But that could wait until the morning. He picked up the phone to call Bulma and ask how to make food, but he stopped. "She's probley asleep. And plus......If I call for everything she'll think I can't do anything myself." He put the phone down. But it was true. The only thing he could do himself was fight and torture fish.And read. "I can go to the store and buy some stuff I don't have to cook." He said. He took out a brown wallet. He looked inside. There were two twentys, and a one hundered dollar bill. The rest of him and Bulma's money was with Bulma or in the bank, he guessed. "How much money is this?" He wondered. He didn't know how to count money. (I know they're money is in Zeni, but I can't count Zeni and I don't know what they look like, so I'm using American money. If you can't count American money, then you need to go to first grade. If you haven't gone to first grade, you don't need to be reading this). "Are the stores open this late?" He asked himself. There was a really bad storm, so he figured not.
"OKay Trunks!" Bulma shouted at 6:00 AM. "Time to get up, honey! Rise and Shine!" Trunks groaned and rolled over. "MOTHER, It's summer vacation, remember? I don't have to go to jail today." Bulma threw some training clothes at him. "Get up get up! School isn't what I mean. Today you're going to teach me to fight, Remember?!" Trunks glared at Bulma. "But Mommy, It's too early. Wait a little! Dad says to wait so You won't be tired and then you can fight better." Bulma rolled her eyes. "That does not sound like something VEGETA would say. Now get up before I put ice in your shirt." Trunks bolted up. "Do you mind?" He asked. "I don't like Girls watching me get dressed." BUlma walked out. She started painting her fingernails that she had just put on. She had the most expensive nail polish you could buy. And the most expensive cuticle pusher and everything. Goku walked in. "Your not in your wheelchair today." Bulma observed. "No." Goku said. "Your little brat is using it for his army station!" "Aren't kids cute?!" Bulma gushed. Goku shuffled and sat down. "Where are you guy going so early? I heard Trunks cussing in his room about getting dressed." Bulma rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll have to make him eat soap. We're going to the Gravity room." Goku was suprised. "GRAVITY ROOM?! Won't Vegeta get mad? That's his gravity room." Bulma blew on her nails. "I Built it, and It's my house. So I can go too." Goku nodded. "But a.......why do you wanna go? To watch Trunks?" Bulma shook her head. She was getting annoyed that he woulden't shut up. "NO. I'm learning how to fight so I can protect Trunks too." Goku nodded. "Good god Vegeta's not teaching you. He would mhit you with Ki blasts and kick you and everything. Thats what he did to me when he was trying to help me move my muscles again after the burn accident." Bulma laughed. "He hit and kicked you because he HATES you. And I'M going to hate you if you don't LET ME DO MY FINGERNAILS." Goku got up and went to the refrigerator. Goten came in. "Are you going to play in the gravity room today?" He asked Bulma. He liked to watch her do her fingernails. Bulma nodded. "Can you do MY fingernails like that?" He asked. He thought they were pretty. At first Bulma considered it, but then she thought Goten was adorable and she didn't want the neighbors to think he was a faggot. Trunks walked out of his room in the training clothes. "Your nails are just going to get messed up." Trunks said. "Punching isn't fingernail friendly. You shoulden't have done that." He picked up a banana and was a bout to take a bite when Picollo stuck his head in the window. The smell was awful, and Picollo looked terrible. There were huge bags under his eyes. "C-Can you spare 10 cents? I-its for a good cause." The threw up on the window seal. "Good god, Picollo!" Goku said. "You look horrible! Whats happened to you!" Picollo's toungue flopped out from between his sharp teeth. "Same old, Same old." He said. Goku nodded. "I mean, what Illegal things are you hiding out there?!" Bulma looked mad. "Trunks! Here's our first lesson!" She grabbed Trunks and they stalked outside. Goku heard Picollo's grunts, roars, and struggles. He heard karate sounds and Trunks giving Bulma instructions. The next thing he knew, Bulma and Trunks were carrying an unconsious Picollo into a pantry. They locked him in. "Until your no longer addicted to horrible things, you can't come out!" Bulma shouted. Picollo bashed his body against the door and scraped his teeth against it. But it was all in vein. He was trapped!
Vegeta walked down an aisle in the store. He had to idea what stuff needed to be cooked and what stuff didn't. It was really starting to frustrate him, when a little old man walked up. "I wanted to know what stuff doesn't have to be heated up or cooked." Vegeta said. The man looked at Vegeta funny. "What, do you come from the planet Mars or something?" Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Planet VEGETA. Get it right. Now answer my question." "Cookies, bread, milk...." He named at least 20 other things. "Or you could buy a cake from the bakery." The man explained. "Cookies?" Vegeta asked. "Cake?" The man nodded. "I like cookies and cake. But is there anything healthy?!" The old man took inventory. "Sure. Nutri-Grain bars and Slim Fast."
"Oh, my wife eats those. Those are gross." The old man shrugged and went back to stocking the shelves. Vegeta loaded his basket with Rice Cakes, Cookies, Bakery made Cakes, Strawberry milk, Bananas, apples, Nutri- Grain bars, and many other things. He took the cart and was walking out the door. "Hey stop!" A lady cashier said. "Sir! You have to PAY for all that stuff before you can take it! Geez!" Vegeta looked at all the stuff. "Pay for it? What would I want to do that for?" The woman looked at him. "You've got to be kidding me. Now get back here and pay!" Vegeta took out the brown wallet. He gave her 2 twenty dollar bills. (A total of forty). "No." The lady said, handing it back. "$86.54 is the total. Give me the hundered." Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "I gave you TWO. The hundred is only ONE. This is more." The lady shook her head. "No, sir! Can't you count money?" Vegeta nodded. "See? 1,2,3." He counted like normal counting. "I gave you 2/3 of what I have. That should be enough." The woman buzzed the manager. "We have a stupid person who can't count money."Vegeta was offended. "I'm not stupid! I'm royalty!" She looked at him and laughed. "Your royalty and I'm George Bush." Vegeta held out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bush. I've heard so much about you. My wife thinks your attractive." The lady looked at his extended hand and burst out laughing. "Juist leave, you idiot!" She said. "It's on the house." Vegeta took all his food and flew out. As he was flying away, he exploded the store. He thought the lady deserved it.
Vegeta got home and looked at all his food. It looked so yummy. He decided to eat the cookies first. He opened the package and cookies went everywhere. Rex gobbled up 3 of them. Vegeta shooed Rex away and sat down on the bed. He was so tired. Then the phone rang. He picked it up. "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID." It said. "Who the hell are you?!" Vegeta asked. "Sorry, wrong number." The person rasped. Vegeta hung the phone up. Then it rang again. It was Picollo. "SAVE ME." He said. "What?" Vegeta asked. "What's wrong?" Picollo sobbed. "Your crazy wife and crazy son locked me in this place. I'm almost out of cell phone minutes. What do I do?" Vegeta sighed. "I guess you sit in there until she's ready to get you out." Vegeta said. Picollo sobbed even louider. "I;'m going crazy in here. Please help." Then he hung up. Vegeta decided to call and see what was going on. He dialed his home phone, and Kakarott picked up. "Hello, Vegeta!" He said joyously. "How are ya?" "Give the phone to Bulma, you stupid idiot." Vegeta said. "Oh, Okay." Goku said. Goku gave the phone to Bulma. She was breathing hard. "Hi honey! How are you doing?" Vegeta was scared. "Why is Picollo in the pantry?"
"He's not!" Bulma replied. "Oh." Vegeta said. "He called me and said he was- -"
"He's in the linen closet." "Why is he in the linen closet?" Vegeta asked. He was starting to get a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him something wasn't right. "Do you need me to come home?" Vegeta asked. "Just to put Picollo in his place?" "No." Bulma said. "You stay right where you are, Veggie. If your stress gets bad enough you could die. Picollo is in there until he no longer depends on Illegal things to live his life." Vegeta sighed. "Fine, fine. But do you really think sitting here and worrying is doing anything good for mu stress? Just let me come home for a while." "No." Bulma said sternly. "And if you keep asking me, I'll hang up on you. Me an Trunks are going to go train in the gravity room!!" "Oh great!" Vegeta said. "I don't want you to move the gravity setting! It'll take me forever to find it again! You won't be able to stand up in there! I don't like you training like this while I'm gone. Trunks is 5. If you get hurt, he won't know what to do." Vegeta was REALLY worried about the credit he would lose. But also he was a little bit worried about Bulma. "He will." Bulma said. "All he needs to know is call 911." Vegeta sighed. "Okay, whatever. Make sure you leave Picollo in that Linen closet for about 2 weeks." Bulma gasped. "How will I change the sheets?!"
Vegeta thought. "Since I'm not there, the sheets shoulen't get dirty." He resolved."Well, what about Pillow cases?" Vegeta was silent. "Unless you have brain bleeding or bad earwax they should be OKay." "Alright." Bulma said. "What did you do for breakfast and dinner last night? I never taught you how to cook." "Well, I went to the store where this lady called me an idiot about 2,000 times, but I tried to keep my temper in check for the sake of my health." He was reciting lines he had practicly reheared. In other words, he was telling her what she wanted to hear so he woulden't be nagged at. "If you need your clothes washed, have a dilevery guy send them over! You can't wash clothes either." Vegeta knew he coulden't wash clothes, and he didn't really care to know. "Have you heard from Agnis and Casey's lawyer?" Vegeta asked randomly. (Remember the old people at the country club?)."No." Bulma said. "I think they might be afraid of you and me now." Bulma said. "And we can pay almost anything they ask, so it would really be un necessary." "Not if they charged us both conjoined for counts of Physical and Verbal assault?" Bulma was silent. She hoped they didn't do that or they were up the creek without a paddle. "Just.....eat something." Bulma said. "Your hungry." Vegeta said, 'No, I just ate some--" "YOUR HUNGRY." "Ok." Vegeta said. "I guess I'll be hungry then. Bai."
"Bai Vegeta. I love you." "Of course you do." Vegeta said, and he hung up the phone. he was not hungry. He picked up a chocolate cookie and threw it across the room. Rex caught it and chomped it. "You can catch things?" Vegeta asked. "That was pretty cool!" He threw another cookie. Rex hopped up and caught it. "THATs awsome!" Vegeta said. He picked up a ball. "Can you catch THIS, I wonder?" He asked. He opened the back door and they went outside. He tossed the ball, and Rex caught it.
Vegeta had discovered that playing with Balls and dogs was fun! He had been out there with Rex for 3 hours when his stomach started to growl. His throat was horribly dry. "I want some lemonade." Vegeta said. "And a popsicle!" He went into the kitchen and got an ice cold glass of lemonade. Then he got a bright orange popsicle and stepped outside. Rex ran over because he wanted some. Vegeta flew up into the air. "Watch it!" Vegeta growled. "Don't get too close to me." He picked up Rex's bowl and poured some lemonade in it. Then he put a popsicle on the ground. Rex happily lapped up the lemonade and the melting popsicle while Vegeta's ran down his arm. It was really good, but he was starting to get cold. He realized it was nice to get away from his family once in a while. They could become annoying easily. He missed them a little bit because they usually cooked his food and changed his sheets, but he was getting along great wihtout them. And he was glad Bulma made him take Rex with him, because Rex was a good source of company although he was scared to death of him. "Okay Im done!" Vegeta said. He threw the ball as far as he could without it going out of the 3 acre yard. So he didn't throw it very hard because he was so strong. Rex bounded after it. He could run pretty fast for a dog that ate so much junk food from Goten. Vegeta guessed his excersise was from chasing people.
"I have been in here so long." Piccolo wrote on a linen sheet. He was talking out what he wrote. "The hours are like months. I don't know how long I can survive. My eyes are bloodshot and--OW!" The laundrey shoot opened and hit him on the head. Dirty clothes buryed him. "And this strange metal door keeps opening and pouring smelly clothes on me. THere was this one pair of Vegeta's training clothes and boy did they smell like sweat." Picollo rubbed his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot and his mind was becoming unstable. He needed a beer--NOW. "I don't know how long I can last." He sobbed.
Bulma put the last load of dirty clothes in the laundry shoot. Trunks and Goten were playing a violent Video game where intestines and blood spirted everywhere. The game had been banned by Vegeta for Trunks(Not because of the violence but because Vegeta never got to play because it was hogged up)But he was playing it anyway. "Turn that off!" Bulma snapped. "I heard your dad tell you not to play that." She started cleaning out the cat's litter box. "If dad gets a vacation from me, why can't I get one from his stupid rules?" Trunks mouthed off as he threw the controller against the TV. Bulma slapped Trunks across the face. "Don't talk about your father like that!" She said. "Without him you woulden't even be here!" Trunks mocked her. "I was a mistake anyway. Dad used to tell me that when I was bad." Trunks grabbed Goten's arm and dragged him into his room. Picollo started banging against the door again. "Stop it, Piccolo!" Bulma said. She was getting ticked at Piccolo. And she was ticked at Vegeta for telling Trunks he was conceived on a stormy night when Vegeta was tired and not thinking straight. But not even Trunks could believe a stupid cowardly lie like that, and he was 5 going on 6. Goten fell down the stairs all the sudden. "Ow ow ow!" He said as his head hit each step. "What happened?" Bulma asked as Goku rushed over to help Goten. "Trunks pushed me down the stairs. He said his soldiers told him to!" Goten started to cry. "Trunks and his stupid plastic soldiers have gone too far!" Bulma screamed. He stormed up to his room. She opened the door. "Gosh, mom. You really need to put on some makeup today." She growled. Then she brought her shiny high heel down on one of his soldier toys. It squashed with a crack. "Lutenant Charles!" Trunks gasped. "He was planning an attack on the spanish!"" Trunks eyes narrowed. "We'll make sure you pay." He formed his soldiers in another formation. "No more stupid soldiers for you!" Bulma said, and she began crushing all of them." Stop it!" Trunks cried. "You don't know what your doing!" He clawed at his face. Bulma threw open the closet door and saw a horrifying sight. Kitty(The cat)'s paws were tied to four seperate strings attacched to the closet wall. She was meowing and trying to get away. Soldier toys were everywhere. "What were you DOING in there?" She said, throwing the toys out. She untied the cat, who clawed her and ran away. Goku walked in. "ooooooohhhh, I'll bet your grounded." He giggled. Bulma pointed to all the soldiers. "Start smashing toys!" Bulma screamed. Trunks cried and tried to hold his soldiers against him. "If Kernal Roberts can survive we can bring the French army back togather!" Trunks said. "All they need is breif knowledge of the military, and then they can start from scratch!" Bulma and Goku raided every nook and cranny of Trunks' large room and squashed every toy.
Later, Trunks was sobbing in aroom with no soldiers. Bulma was sitting next to him on the bed. "Now trunks, we squashed all your toys because you were hurting other people with them. Hurting other people is bad." Trunks wiped a tear. "But in one of me and daddy's talks, he said its okay to hurt people in make beleive." Bulma showed Trunks a bruise on Goten's arm. "Bruises aren't make beleive. And it's not okay to play violent." "They are if I make them, and I can play whatever the hell I want." "TRUNKS! Where did you hear that?'
"Daddy." They both said at the same time. Bulma looked away. "Okay, new rule. Next time Daddy tells you something, ask me about it to make sure it's true. Sometimes Daddy says things because he wants you to go away. And daddy saw alot of bad things when he was young. So daddy might have a little loose screw." Trunks nodded. "I totally get it. But where do my toys come in!?" BUlma decided something nice. "Let's go buy you some more toys! Toys that good little boys play with. And if your daddy tells you they're wimp toys, tell daddy that he needs to go get laid, and he needs to come see me." Trunks didn't know what that meant, but he nodded because he was telling her what she wanted to hear. So they decded to go and get better 'good boy' toys. Gag me.
Vegeta and Rex were done playing a long day of fetch. Vegeta was tired and he wanted to go to sleep. So he hopped in bed and thats what he did.
Discalimer: I do not own DragonBallZ or any of the charectars associated. I also do not own Wal Mart or anything else copyrighted on this story.
Now, it was time for Veggie and Bulma to go dancing. They were choosing a place with their Mapsco that they stole from Wal Mart because the checkout lines were too long. "Let's go clubbing!" Bulma said. "Clubbing?" Vegeta asked. "What is a club?" Bulma looked up. "Well, they have music and beer, and if your a guy and you care, they might have young single women. But you woulden't care about that." Vegeta shrugged. "Maybe I would." He said. He pointed to a large pink building across the street. "Is that a club?" Music was booming out of it and you could tell by the windows blinking that a strobe light was on. "Yes, that's one!" Bulma said. The club was called 'Honk Your Horn'.(Get it? I made it up!) "Let's go there." Bulma suggested. "I bet they play nice music." Vegeta nodded. "Okay." So he landed in front of the club and opened the door. What he saw was so wonderful to him he almost cried. Skinny Teenage girls in short shorts and bikini tops were pole dancing on a pole dancing stage! (Ew. What a perv) Bulma saw it. "Oh my god!" She said. The girls were dancing to the song 'Cottoneyed Joe'. "I really like this place!" Vegeta said, running inside. He was staring. "Stop it!" Bulma said. "Your a married guy! We're leaving!" Vegeta groaned. "But Can't i live like I was single just one more time? Please? You don't have to watch and I promise I'll dance with you!!" Bulma looked into Vegeta's puppy dog eyes. "God he's a perv." She thought. "Okay." She said. "But only for a while." Vegeta jumped. "I'll go get us some drinks!" She said, and she started over to the drink counter.
When she came back, she saw a horrifying sight! Vegeta was chatting with one of the pole dancers. Bulma was outreaged. She ran over and slugged the girl right across the face. "You stupid ugly B*tch!" Bulma cried. The girl flew off the Pole Dancing stage and fell to the floor. Vegeta tried to hold Bulma back, but she was struggling and he didn't want to hurt her, so he let her go. She started punching and kicking the girl. "How dare you touch my husband!" Bulma said. She broke a beer bottle over the girls head. She was practiccly seeing stars! "Please stop." Said the girl through tears. Vegeta grabbed Bulma's arm and dragged her out. "What were you doing?" Vegeta asked. "We were talking about a basketball team!" Bulma frowned. "Yeah right!" She said. "Maybe about the basketball team she strips for! I'm so mad at you, Vegeta." He rolled his eyes. "Not again." He said. "Let's go dancing somewhere nice." Vegeta said. "A place with NO distractions." Bulma was still mad. "OKay." She said. "No more stupid ugly strippers." Vegeta nodded. "alright." Bulma hopped on Vegeta's back. "When are you and Trunks going to start your training?" Bulma thought. "Tomarrow, I guess. And the whole time until your done with your vacation. I need something to do at night." Vegeta was silent. "I don't like you fighting people while I'm gone." "Why, are you afraid I'll get hurt?" Bulma asked, wanting him to be worried. "No." Vegeta said. "You'll take all the credit." Bulma didn't know if that was a joke or not, but either way she didn't like it. "I won't take the credit!" Bulma said. "Remember those red shoes you got me? That last dude was going to take them home and use them for his Girlfriend. But I beat him up with those!! They were a really great weapon!" "I bought those for you! I'll bet you got blood on them, right?" Bulma scoffed. "No, I hit him in the nuts." "Ooooohhhh..." Vegeta said. "Poor Guy." "It can't hurt that bad. " Vegeta shook his head. "You don't realize what that feels like! It feels like your taking away our manhood!!" "Don't worry. We don't want to take away all that makes you a man. Then where would our entertainment be?" Vegeta realized she had a point. But he still felt sorry for the poor burglar. "Did he steal anything of mine?" Vegeta asked. "Some of my books?" By now, Bulma had gotten Vegeta a big oak bookcase of books. There were hundreds! 50 of which Vegeta already had read. "Nope. He didn't seem interested in books." "Gee, he really was a creep." She hoped Vegeta didn't notice she had taken one of his books, ripped the pages out, and gave them to a bum to line him clothes with. But she decided she needed to tell him while they were on the way to dance. "Um, how do you feel about bums?" Bulma ask. "Bum? What is a bum?" Bulma thought of how to say it in a way he would understand. Then she got it. "Bum. Commoner in royal people talk. They don't have any money, and they ask you for money and food and stuff."
"Oh, you mean grifters? Gee, I think they're ugly and stinky and stupid and poor and fags and I hate them." BUlma gulped. "Well sometimes, they get really cold. I mean, really really cold. And there was this one standing on the side of the street. All he had was a thin jacket in -5 degree weather. So you know what I did?" "Do I WANT to know?" Bulma thought. "No." "Okay then." She shut up. It was about time she did that.
"Where is my mommy and daddy!?" Trunks asked. Goku, Chi Chi and Goten were tied up in the living room with socks on their mouths. All of Trunks' soldier and indian action figures he loved to play with were gathered around. "Tell, me! Or we'll scrafice you to Wee-Zee-La-Po-Tlie. He's a god in indian." He is, the sun god. But its spelled guezelapotili. Goten spit out his sock. "I want to play indians! Let me out!" "Shut up!! " Trunks said. he moved a toy soldier with a spear next to Goten's face. The spear was almost tounching his eye. "If you value your seeing eye, you will tell me." "I don't know!" Goten said, and he cried. "Ask daddy and mommy!!" (This soldier toy was one that launched the spear if you pushed a button) Trunks pushed the button on the back of the soldier. The spear hit and bounced off Goten's eye. It didn't poke it out, but it poked it alright.
"Ow, my eye!" Goten said. "Trunks, your mean!" Trunks moved all the soldier and indian's arms where they were aiming their spears at him. Trunks moved to Chi Chi. "Perhaps you will talk." He moved the captain soldier action figure. "There's a handsome man in it for you." He made the action figure make a suductive pose. "Well, they went dancing."
"Exactly where?" Trunks asked. "Um, as handsome as your guy is, I don't know. ONly Goku knows." Trunks shot two spears at Chi Chi. One hit her in the nose, the other in the forehead. "There are 12 more men that I can use to make you talk!" Trunks said. "Now tell me! Where is my mommy and daddy?"
Goku started to cry. "Please don't sik the soldiers on me! I promise I'll be good! I'll tell you everything that I know! They went out to eat at Luby's! They went to dance at a club! Your mother thinks George bush is hot and your father plays knife games!!!" Trunks looked at him cockeyed. "Okay. But you still get 6 spears because your ugly." He shot six spears at Goku.
They decided to stop and dance at the Country Club. They were having one of those little dance thingy's. Vegeta liked it because there was food. The song playing was a slow waltz. When they started to dance, Vegeta stepped on Bulma's feet and smashed her toes. "OW!" She cried. "YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE HOOVES, YOU STUPID KLUTZ! LEARN SOME RESPECT!" Vegeta looked at the ground. "Sorry. My mind's somewhere else. I was thinking about that poor stripper." "Wrong thing to say, buddy!" BUlma said, and she stomped on Vegeta's toe. "Owch." He said. "That's angering." But he tried to keep his temper in check because of all the people around. Then he zoned out and he danced just fine. It's funny. With the stripper on his mind, he danced bad. but without Bulma on his mind, he danced okay. Vegeta was staring blankly at Bulma's face with his mouth open zoned out. "I didn't know I was that pretty." BUlma said. A string of drool fell from Vegeta's bottom lip. Bulma slapped him back into reality. "Oh! Sorry." He said. So Vegeta focused on a painting. Then some drunk rich people (Not unusual at a country club) stepped up on the little stage thingy. "We are goinnnnnnn to recites a poem." One of the guys said. "How embarrasing." Vegeta said. "Getting up in public drunk like that." "JUst watch!" BUlma said. "Sometimes they make complete fools of themselves." They started a Poem. "Three Blind Mice!" One said. "Three blind mice! See how they twinkle! Twinkle little star! How I Hey diddle diddle! The cat and the Little Jack horner! Sittin in a corner! Stuck his thumb in a dumb old pie. The end." Vegeta's mouth hung open. "Bulma, that was a mixture of like 5 nursery rhymes." Bulma shrugged. An old lady walked over. "Hello, Bulma dear!" She said. "Um, hello Agnis." Bulma said in a bored voice. "How are you?" Vegeta had never seen this Agnis before in his life. An old man walked beside Agnis. He had a glass on his eye. "Hello, young chap!" He said, and he slapped Vegeta on the back. "I'm not a chap and if you touch me again I'll rip your arm off." Bulma glared at Vegeta. "This is Agnis and her husband Casey." Vegeta laughed. "Casey? What a gay name." The man looked sad. "You guys are pretty old." Vegeta said. "70? 80?" "Nope." Said Agnis. "We're 34." Vegeta laughed. "You need some wrinkle cream if your 34. Your younger than me and Bulma and we don't have any wrinkles!" Casey and Agnis were deeply disturbed. "Why are you at the Country Club tonight?" Casey asked. "We wanted to go dancing for my brithday." Bulma said. "His little present." Vegeta stared at Casey. "Do you have a problem with me?" Casey asked. "Yes! " Vegeta said. "Your ugly!" Casey was outraged. "Your the most rude, crass, horrible human being on earth and I don't know why Bulma wanted to marry you!" Bulma got P*ssed. "Are you questioning MY judjement?" She hissed. "And insulting MY husband?! Vegeta's right! YOu do need some Botox! You need to get laid! You need marriage counseling and whats with that little glass thing on your eye?!" She jumped on Casey and started beating him up.
Agnis and Casey made Bulma and Vegeta leave. "That wasn't fair." Vegeta said. "They don't have a right to tell us to leave." Bulma nodded. "Yes they do! Agnis screwed the club owner and now they can do whatever they want." "I can see how that would work." Vegeta said. As they floated past the 'Honk your Horn' club, Vegeta was tempted to fly down, but he didn't. He wanted to ditch Bulma off at home and get back to the cabin. He was really enjoying the time by himself. "How long do you have to stay there all by yourself?" Bulma asked. "I get worried about you with that dog. Don't let him outside unsupervised. He dosen't have rabies shots! Remember Cujo?" She said. Vegeta nodded. "Beleive me, If I could, he would be locked in the broom closet. I have to stay for 3 weeks. That's all. And I really like it."Bulma was enjoying her break too, but she thought that was horrible. "I wonder if Kakarott is still alive at home with Trunks. If he isn't, I'll be awfully proud!" Vegeta said. They landed at the Capsule Corp. Bulma opened the door and walked in. Goku, Chi Chi and a crying Goten were tied up. She sighed. "What happened, why did it happen, and did you have a motive?" She said. It was the usual thing she said every time Trunks was alone. "That's my boy!" Vegeta said. "Great job, Trunks!" "Are those words coming out of the mouth of the man who told me to 'have fun raising the little brat' when I got pregant?" Vegeta was ashamed. "I'll be in the kitchen." He said, and he sidestepped away. Bulma untied Goten. "Tell me what happened, Goten." Bulma said.
"I'll tell you what happened!" Goku said. "That little brat of yours went Incredible Hulk on me! I tried to stop him, but he's really strong. YOu guy trained him to hard! I tried to tell you, but--" Bulma shoved the sock into Goku's mouth. "Go on, Goten." She said. "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-T-Trunks grabbed me b-by my arms! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! T-then he put m-m-me in the o- ven and c-cooked me to a c-crisp and I d-died!!"
"Is THAT so, Goten?" Bulma said. "It's not, mom." Trunks mumbled. "He's lying. He's a big fat lier." "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH He c-called me fat!" "I did not. Your a big fat ugly poopyhead lier." "WAHAHAHWHAHWHAHWHAHWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "What kind of word is Poopyhead?" Said Picollo. "Where did you come from?" Bulma asked. "WE didn't ask you to." Picollo was ashamed. "I was wondering if you had any of those orange scented trash bags." Vegeta handed Bulma one from the kitchen. he was chomping on a banana. Bulma gave it to Picollo."Take it and go away." She said. Picollo gave a selute and ducked out. "This banana tastes bad." Vegeta explained. "I hate it when bits of the peel get stuck on it. It tastes bad." Bulma gave up in trying to get answers out of Goku's family. "All of you go back to your rooms NOW! I'm going to talk to my son up and personal about this!" "If you forgot, we can't walk when we're tied up." Chi Chi explained. Bulma untied them and they left. "Trunks....." Bulma whispered. "GOOD JOB!" Vegeta and Bulma cried in unison. They hugged and tousled Trunks' hair. "You sure showed Kakarott!" Vegeta said. "He looked so funny all tied up!"
"No kidding!" Bulma agreed. "He was like--" She put her fist in her mouth, crossed her eyes and made muffled noises. They al laughed.. Then Trunks aimed an action figure at Bulma. "Sit in the chair so I can tie you up." Trunks said.
Later, after Vegeta had knocked Trunks out so Bulma could get away, it was almost time for Vegeta to go back to his cabin. "That dog is probley raising heck." Vegeta said. "He might be hungry." Bulma nodded. She was brushing her hair by a mirror. "Can you stay for just one more night?" Bulma asked. "You can leave early in the morning." Vegeta shook his head. "Even one more night here would be stressful. That boy--god he makes me have breakdowns!" "But you woulden't ever have to leave this room!" Bulma said. Vegeta smiled. "Nope. I have to leave. There's plenty of time for that when I get back." Bulma sighed. "Okay, fine. Even though it is my birthday." Vegeta gave Bulma a hug and then they kissed for about 2 minutes, and then he flew out the window. The cabin was about 45 minutes away to a fast flying saiyan. He blasted as fast as he could go because he was ready to go to bed. And about 20 minutes into the flight he was wishing he had stayed at his house for one more night. When he finally got home, the dog was barking outside and throwing itself against the door. "Oh, stop it!" Vegeta said, opening the door as it ran at it. It careened inside and hit it's head on the dresser. "Serves you right!" Vegeta said. "You ruined a perfectly good screen door." Vegeta opened up the cabinet. He took out a can of creamed corn and opened it. Then he poored it in the dogs bowl because he hated corn. Then he put the bowl outside, and Rex eagerly ran outside and gobbled it up. Vegeta closed the glass door so he could see outside because it helped him sleep without the picture window in his room. Then Vegeta changed into some flannel pajamas. They were green and fuzzy. Then he got into bed and pulled the thin blanket up. He was still shivering. He could feel the air conditioner under that blanket. He cursed the stupid cabin as he powered up a little so he could generate his own body heat. He figuered he could stay at that level all night.
At about 2:00 AM, Vegeta awoke with a start. There was a horrible peal of thunder so loud Rex was yelping. Vegeta could hear greusome hail and hard rain pounding on the weak wooden ceiling. Leaks were dripping all over him. "Oh Sh*t!" He said, and he jumped out of bed. He flew up and put a peice of kleenex in a ceiling hole. It got soaked, and the water dripped again. "How do I plug up this stupid hole?" He asked himself. He put his finger in it. It stopped. He took his finger out. It leaked again. He whipped his head around and found a dusty action figure. He realized the last people who stayed her must have had children. He shoved it's head in the leak that was bothering him, and it stopped. Then He clicked on the T.V for weather. He didn't really care about the weather, but Trunks was afraid of Thunderstorms and he wanted to know if this one was bad enough to make Trunks start cutting himself. (Dont ask). An ugly old geezer was talking to the young news reporter. "No tornadoes, but hail and wind gusts of up to 70 MPH. Bring all pets in." Vegeta turned off the TV. "Ha. No way." He said. He glaned over at the door. rex was shivering at the door. He was soaking wet and his cropped ears were droopy. "Stupid dog." Vegeta said. "He's all wet." Then he realized that he was talking to himself. He climbed back into the tiny bed and gazed out the door. He kept staring at the sad looking dog outside. "I wonder if dogs are living things." He said. "Animals are living things. And dogs are on Animal Planet. That must mean dogs are living things. I wonder if he feels cold." He noticed how the dog was shivering. "When i am cold, I shiver." He stared at Rex for a long long time. And then he realized something. Rex was probably really uncomfortable being cold. He remembered how sometimes he had to pull the covers way over his head because he was cold and that would make him warm, but Rex didn't have any covers to pull over his head. And Rex coulden't power up to stay warm. So Vegeta decided to let Rex inside. He flew up and unlatched the door. Rex ran inside and jumped up on Vegeta's bed. He shook his fur and water flew everywhere. "Oh no!" Vegeta said. "Now there's water and stinky dog smell on my bed!" He used a small Ki Blast to knock Rex off. No way he was touching this evil creature. Vegeta realized that he was hungry. He walked into the kitchen and opened up the cabinets. Everything in there had to be heated up or cooked. Then it hit him. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE MICROWAVE OR COOK! "How am I going to eat?" He asked himself. "Bulma always cooks. I don't have any idea how to!" He looked at the oven. "She always puts the food in here. Maybe I just put it in there and the oven will do the work." He took out a frozen TV dinner and put it in the oven. Then he stood and waited for about 5 minutes.
"Darn!" Vegeta said, taking it out. "It didn't cook!" It was still frozen. It was making his hands cold so he put it down on the counter. "There's those little dail thingy's she turns every time she puts in food." Vegeta said. He put the food back in and turned the dial all the way up. In a matter of minutes He could smell it cooking. "Wow!" He said. "It smells good! But Bulma always leaves it for about 10 minutes in the oven. So I'll just wait." He waited ten minutes. His mouth was watering because he could smell it so vividly. He opened the oven and grabbed the hot TV dinner without a mit. "YEOUCH!" He screamed as he threw it on the counter and watched his hand as 2 blisters appeared. He popped his fingers in his mouth and looked at his food. It was a solid, fused black peice. It was burned to a crisp! Vegeta picked it up and threw it across the room in rage. It collided with the wall and busted into a thousand black peices. "Now I have to clean it up." He mumbled. But that could wait until the morning. He picked up the phone to call Bulma and ask how to make food, but he stopped. "She's probley asleep. And plus......If I call for everything she'll think I can't do anything myself." He put the phone down. But it was true. The only thing he could do himself was fight and torture fish.And read. "I can go to the store and buy some stuff I don't have to cook." He said. He took out a brown wallet. He looked inside. There were two twentys, and a one hundered dollar bill. The rest of him and Bulma's money was with Bulma or in the bank, he guessed. "How much money is this?" He wondered. He didn't know how to count money. (I know they're money is in Zeni, but I can't count Zeni and I don't know what they look like, so I'm using American money. If you can't count American money, then you need to go to first grade. If you haven't gone to first grade, you don't need to be reading this). "Are the stores open this late?" He asked himself. There was a really bad storm, so he figured not.
"OKay Trunks!" Bulma shouted at 6:00 AM. "Time to get up, honey! Rise and Shine!" Trunks groaned and rolled over. "MOTHER, It's summer vacation, remember? I don't have to go to jail today." Bulma threw some training clothes at him. "Get up get up! School isn't what I mean. Today you're going to teach me to fight, Remember?!" Trunks glared at Bulma. "But Mommy, It's too early. Wait a little! Dad says to wait so You won't be tired and then you can fight better." Bulma rolled her eyes. "That does not sound like something VEGETA would say. Now get up before I put ice in your shirt." Trunks bolted up. "Do you mind?" He asked. "I don't like Girls watching me get dressed." BUlma walked out. She started painting her fingernails that she had just put on. She had the most expensive nail polish you could buy. And the most expensive cuticle pusher and everything. Goku walked in. "Your not in your wheelchair today." Bulma observed. "No." Goku said. "Your little brat is using it for his army station!" "Aren't kids cute?!" Bulma gushed. Goku shuffled and sat down. "Where are you guy going so early? I heard Trunks cussing in his room about getting dressed." Bulma rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll have to make him eat soap. We're going to the Gravity room." Goku was suprised. "GRAVITY ROOM?! Won't Vegeta get mad? That's his gravity room." Bulma blew on her nails. "I Built it, and It's my house. So I can go too." Goku nodded. "But a.......why do you wanna go? To watch Trunks?" Bulma shook her head. She was getting annoyed that he woulden't shut up. "NO. I'm learning how to fight so I can protect Trunks too." Goku nodded. "Good god Vegeta's not teaching you. He would mhit you with Ki blasts and kick you and everything. Thats what he did to me when he was trying to help me move my muscles again after the burn accident." Bulma laughed. "He hit and kicked you because he HATES you. And I'M going to hate you if you don't LET ME DO MY FINGERNAILS." Goku got up and went to the refrigerator. Goten came in. "Are you going to play in the gravity room today?" He asked Bulma. He liked to watch her do her fingernails. Bulma nodded. "Can you do MY fingernails like that?" He asked. He thought they were pretty. At first Bulma considered it, but then she thought Goten was adorable and she didn't want the neighbors to think he was a faggot. Trunks walked out of his room in the training clothes. "Your nails are just going to get messed up." Trunks said. "Punching isn't fingernail friendly. You shoulden't have done that." He picked up a banana and was a bout to take a bite when Picollo stuck his head in the window. The smell was awful, and Picollo looked terrible. There were huge bags under his eyes. "C-Can you spare 10 cents? I-its for a good cause." The threw up on the window seal. "Good god, Picollo!" Goku said. "You look horrible! Whats happened to you!" Picollo's toungue flopped out from between his sharp teeth. "Same old, Same old." He said. Goku nodded. "I mean, what Illegal things are you hiding out there?!" Bulma looked mad. "Trunks! Here's our first lesson!" She grabbed Trunks and they stalked outside. Goku heard Picollo's grunts, roars, and struggles. He heard karate sounds and Trunks giving Bulma instructions. The next thing he knew, Bulma and Trunks were carrying an unconsious Picollo into a pantry. They locked him in. "Until your no longer addicted to horrible things, you can't come out!" Bulma shouted. Picollo bashed his body against the door and scraped his teeth against it. But it was all in vein. He was trapped!
Vegeta walked down an aisle in the store. He had to idea what stuff needed to be cooked and what stuff didn't. It was really starting to frustrate him, when a little old man walked up. "I wanted to know what stuff doesn't have to be heated up or cooked." Vegeta said. The man looked at Vegeta funny. "What, do you come from the planet Mars or something?" Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Planet VEGETA. Get it right. Now answer my question." "Cookies, bread, milk...." He named at least 20 other things. "Or you could buy a cake from the bakery." The man explained. "Cookies?" Vegeta asked. "Cake?" The man nodded. "I like cookies and cake. But is there anything healthy?!" The old man took inventory. "Sure. Nutri-Grain bars and Slim Fast."
"Oh, my wife eats those. Those are gross." The old man shrugged and went back to stocking the shelves. Vegeta loaded his basket with Rice Cakes, Cookies, Bakery made Cakes, Strawberry milk, Bananas, apples, Nutri- Grain bars, and many other things. He took the cart and was walking out the door. "Hey stop!" A lady cashier said. "Sir! You have to PAY for all that stuff before you can take it! Geez!" Vegeta looked at all the stuff. "Pay for it? What would I want to do that for?" The woman looked at him. "You've got to be kidding me. Now get back here and pay!" Vegeta took out the brown wallet. He gave her 2 twenty dollar bills. (A total of forty). "No." The lady said, handing it back. "$86.54 is the total. Give me the hundered." Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "I gave you TWO. The hundred is only ONE. This is more." The lady shook her head. "No, sir! Can't you count money?" Vegeta nodded. "See? 1,2,3." He counted like normal counting. "I gave you 2/3 of what I have. That should be enough." The woman buzzed the manager. "We have a stupid person who can't count money."Vegeta was offended. "I'm not stupid! I'm royalty!" She looked at him and laughed. "Your royalty and I'm George Bush." Vegeta held out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bush. I've heard so much about you. My wife thinks your attractive." The lady looked at his extended hand and burst out laughing. "Juist leave, you idiot!" She said. "It's on the house." Vegeta took all his food and flew out. As he was flying away, he exploded the store. He thought the lady deserved it.
Vegeta got home and looked at all his food. It looked so yummy. He decided to eat the cookies first. He opened the package and cookies went everywhere. Rex gobbled up 3 of them. Vegeta shooed Rex away and sat down on the bed. He was so tired. Then the phone rang. He picked it up. "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID." It said. "Who the hell are you?!" Vegeta asked. "Sorry, wrong number." The person rasped. Vegeta hung the phone up. Then it rang again. It was Picollo. "SAVE ME." He said. "What?" Vegeta asked. "What's wrong?" Picollo sobbed. "Your crazy wife and crazy son locked me in this place. I'm almost out of cell phone minutes. What do I do?" Vegeta sighed. "I guess you sit in there until she's ready to get you out." Vegeta said. Picollo sobbed even louider. "I;'m going crazy in here. Please help." Then he hung up. Vegeta decided to call and see what was going on. He dialed his home phone, and Kakarott picked up. "Hello, Vegeta!" He said joyously. "How are ya?" "Give the phone to Bulma, you stupid idiot." Vegeta said. "Oh, Okay." Goku said. Goku gave the phone to Bulma. She was breathing hard. "Hi honey! How are you doing?" Vegeta was scared. "Why is Picollo in the pantry?"
"He's not!" Bulma replied. "Oh." Vegeta said. "He called me and said he was- -"
"He's in the linen closet." "Why is he in the linen closet?" Vegeta asked. He was starting to get a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him something wasn't right. "Do you need me to come home?" Vegeta asked. "Just to put Picollo in his place?" "No." Bulma said. "You stay right where you are, Veggie. If your stress gets bad enough you could die. Picollo is in there until he no longer depends on Illegal things to live his life." Vegeta sighed. "Fine, fine. But do you really think sitting here and worrying is doing anything good for mu stress? Just let me come home for a while." "No." Bulma said sternly. "And if you keep asking me, I'll hang up on you. Me an Trunks are going to go train in the gravity room!!" "Oh great!" Vegeta said. "I don't want you to move the gravity setting! It'll take me forever to find it again! You won't be able to stand up in there! I don't like you training like this while I'm gone. Trunks is 5. If you get hurt, he won't know what to do." Vegeta was REALLY worried about the credit he would lose. But also he was a little bit worried about Bulma. "He will." Bulma said. "All he needs to know is call 911." Vegeta sighed. "Okay, whatever. Make sure you leave Picollo in that Linen closet for about 2 weeks." Bulma gasped. "How will I change the sheets?!"
Vegeta thought. "Since I'm not there, the sheets shoulen't get dirty." He resolved."Well, what about Pillow cases?" Vegeta was silent. "Unless you have brain bleeding or bad earwax they should be OKay." "Alright." Bulma said. "What did you do for breakfast and dinner last night? I never taught you how to cook." "Well, I went to the store where this lady called me an idiot about 2,000 times, but I tried to keep my temper in check for the sake of my health." He was reciting lines he had practicly reheared. In other words, he was telling her what she wanted to hear so he woulden't be nagged at. "If you need your clothes washed, have a dilevery guy send them over! You can't wash clothes either." Vegeta knew he coulden't wash clothes, and he didn't really care to know. "Have you heard from Agnis and Casey's lawyer?" Vegeta asked randomly. (Remember the old people at the country club?)."No." Bulma said. "I think they might be afraid of you and me now." Bulma said. "And we can pay almost anything they ask, so it would really be un necessary." "Not if they charged us both conjoined for counts of Physical and Verbal assault?" Bulma was silent. She hoped they didn't do that or they were up the creek without a paddle. "Just.....eat something." Bulma said. "Your hungry." Vegeta said, 'No, I just ate some--" "YOUR HUNGRY." "Ok." Vegeta said. "I guess I'll be hungry then. Bai."
"Bai Vegeta. I love you." "Of course you do." Vegeta said, and he hung up the phone. he was not hungry. He picked up a chocolate cookie and threw it across the room. Rex caught it and chomped it. "You can catch things?" Vegeta asked. "That was pretty cool!" He threw another cookie. Rex hopped up and caught it. "THATs awsome!" Vegeta said. He picked up a ball. "Can you catch THIS, I wonder?" He asked. He opened the back door and they went outside. He tossed the ball, and Rex caught it.
Vegeta had discovered that playing with Balls and dogs was fun! He had been out there with Rex for 3 hours when his stomach started to growl. His throat was horribly dry. "I want some lemonade." Vegeta said. "And a popsicle!" He went into the kitchen and got an ice cold glass of lemonade. Then he got a bright orange popsicle and stepped outside. Rex ran over because he wanted some. Vegeta flew up into the air. "Watch it!" Vegeta growled. "Don't get too close to me." He picked up Rex's bowl and poured some lemonade in it. Then he put a popsicle on the ground. Rex happily lapped up the lemonade and the melting popsicle while Vegeta's ran down his arm. It was really good, but he was starting to get cold. He realized it was nice to get away from his family once in a while. They could become annoying easily. He missed them a little bit because they usually cooked his food and changed his sheets, but he was getting along great wihtout them. And he was glad Bulma made him take Rex with him, because Rex was a good source of company although he was scared to death of him. "Okay Im done!" Vegeta said. He threw the ball as far as he could without it going out of the 3 acre yard. So he didn't throw it very hard because he was so strong. Rex bounded after it. He could run pretty fast for a dog that ate so much junk food from Goten. Vegeta guessed his excersise was from chasing people.
"I have been in here so long." Piccolo wrote on a linen sheet. He was talking out what he wrote. "The hours are like months. I don't know how long I can survive. My eyes are bloodshot and--OW!" The laundrey shoot opened and hit him on the head. Dirty clothes buryed him. "And this strange metal door keeps opening and pouring smelly clothes on me. THere was this one pair of Vegeta's training clothes and boy did they smell like sweat." Picollo rubbed his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot and his mind was becoming unstable. He needed a beer--NOW. "I don't know how long I can last." He sobbed.
Bulma put the last load of dirty clothes in the laundry shoot. Trunks and Goten were playing a violent Video game where intestines and blood spirted everywhere. The game had been banned by Vegeta for Trunks(Not because of the violence but because Vegeta never got to play because it was hogged up)But he was playing it anyway. "Turn that off!" Bulma snapped. "I heard your dad tell you not to play that." She started cleaning out the cat's litter box. "If dad gets a vacation from me, why can't I get one from his stupid rules?" Trunks mouthed off as he threw the controller against the TV. Bulma slapped Trunks across the face. "Don't talk about your father like that!" She said. "Without him you woulden't even be here!" Trunks mocked her. "I was a mistake anyway. Dad used to tell me that when I was bad." Trunks grabbed Goten's arm and dragged him into his room. Picollo started banging against the door again. "Stop it, Piccolo!" Bulma said. She was getting ticked at Piccolo. And she was ticked at Vegeta for telling Trunks he was conceived on a stormy night when Vegeta was tired and not thinking straight. But not even Trunks could believe a stupid cowardly lie like that, and he was 5 going on 6. Goten fell down the stairs all the sudden. "Ow ow ow!" He said as his head hit each step. "What happened?" Bulma asked as Goku rushed over to help Goten. "Trunks pushed me down the stairs. He said his soldiers told him to!" Goten started to cry. "Trunks and his stupid plastic soldiers have gone too far!" Bulma screamed. He stormed up to his room. She opened the door. "Gosh, mom. You really need to put on some makeup today." She growled. Then she brought her shiny high heel down on one of his soldier toys. It squashed with a crack. "Lutenant Charles!" Trunks gasped. "He was planning an attack on the spanish!"" Trunks eyes narrowed. "We'll make sure you pay." He formed his soldiers in another formation. "No more stupid soldiers for you!" Bulma said, and she began crushing all of them." Stop it!" Trunks cried. "You don't know what your doing!" He clawed at his face. Bulma threw open the closet door and saw a horrifying sight. Kitty(The cat)'s paws were tied to four seperate strings attacched to the closet wall. She was meowing and trying to get away. Soldier toys were everywhere. "What were you DOING in there?" She said, throwing the toys out. She untied the cat, who clawed her and ran away. Goku walked in. "ooooooohhhh, I'll bet your grounded." He giggled. Bulma pointed to all the soldiers. "Start smashing toys!" Bulma screamed. Trunks cried and tried to hold his soldiers against him. "If Kernal Roberts can survive we can bring the French army back togather!" Trunks said. "All they need is breif knowledge of the military, and then they can start from scratch!" Bulma and Goku raided every nook and cranny of Trunks' large room and squashed every toy.
Later, Trunks was sobbing in aroom with no soldiers. Bulma was sitting next to him on the bed. "Now trunks, we squashed all your toys because you were hurting other people with them. Hurting other people is bad." Trunks wiped a tear. "But in one of me and daddy's talks, he said its okay to hurt people in make beleive." Bulma showed Trunks a bruise on Goten's arm. "Bruises aren't make beleive. And it's not okay to play violent." "They are if I make them, and I can play whatever the hell I want." "TRUNKS! Where did you hear that?'
"Daddy." They both said at the same time. Bulma looked away. "Okay, new rule. Next time Daddy tells you something, ask me about it to make sure it's true. Sometimes Daddy says things because he wants you to go away. And daddy saw alot of bad things when he was young. So daddy might have a little loose screw." Trunks nodded. "I totally get it. But where do my toys come in!?" BUlma decided something nice. "Let's go buy you some more toys! Toys that good little boys play with. And if your daddy tells you they're wimp toys, tell daddy that he needs to go get laid, and he needs to come see me." Trunks didn't know what that meant, but he nodded because he was telling her what she wanted to hear. So they decded to go and get better 'good boy' toys. Gag me.
Vegeta and Rex were done playing a long day of fetch. Vegeta was tired and he wanted to go to sleep. So he hopped in bed and thats what he did.