Chapter 10
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, the game Clue, or anything else
copyrighted.
It had been a week since Picollo was locked inside the Linen closet. Bulma was happier than ever! She would slip him bacon fat and stuff. She said food wasn't good for starting your new life. And she was also happy because Vegeta's vacation was over in 5 days and they could make up for lost time, so to speak. When her and Trunks had gone toy shopping, Trunks was devestated. She had bought him toys of lambs and rubber ducks. His entire room was baby colors. All his toys had interaction skills. "You'll pay for this!" Trunks yelled from his room. "For every last toy! Don't you beleive in reincarnation? What if Coloniel Mustard(Get the joke? CLUE) Gets reincarnated as a bunch of sheep! Sheep can cause way more damage!" Trunks rubbed his hands together. "Yes, I beleive you." Bulma said, rolling her eyes. "Where's your dirty socks?" Trunks pointed to the linen closet. "I'm not going there." Bulma mumbled. Piccolo was going TRULY, TRULY insane. The last few times she had opened the linen closet to get a look, which was about an hour ago, His eyes had been rolling around in his head and they were all puffy. He had mumbled things about the demons under the sheets. (Don't ask) As of now he was bashing against the door and swearing he would get his vengeance to Bulma and Trunks. Shge shrugged him off as Akurei walked through the door. It had been a while since they'd seen eachother. "I brought you some candy!" He said, holding it out. "They're all orange flavor!" Bulma closed the box of choclates and handed them back. "You KNOW I'm allergic to oranges." Bulma said. Akurei hung his head. "I'm sorry. All the training has gotten to me. Why's there someone in the closet!" "Shhhh." Bulma instructed. "It's Piccolo. I'm trying to help him help himself. It's a long story really." Picollo bashed his head against the door. "I don't think he wants your help." Akurei said. Trunks cackled horribly from his room. "BAA BAA BLOODY SHEEP, HAVE YOU ANY GUTS! NO SIR, NO SIR, THEY'RE ALL ON THE SIDEWALK!!" Trunks sang evilly. Then he laughed. "I'm more worried about my son than Piccolo." Bulma said, slapping her head. Then she went to tell Trunks to call his dad.
"Hello?" Vegeta said into the ringing phone. He was laying on the couch with Rex beside him, flipping through channels. They had developed a special bond after the ball catching and now they were inseperable. "Its Trunks." Trunks whispered. "What? What do you want?" Trunks laughed. "Whats so funny, son? Is something wrong?" Trunks cackled again. "Hey Daddy! Piccolo is going crazy. And I want to change my name to Shirly." Vegeta's eyes widened. "Let's take this a step at a time. What did you say?" "I said Piccolo is going nuts and I want to change my name to--" He was cut off as there was a terrible explosion at the other end of the line and the cord was disconnected. "Was that one of a child's typical monthly explosions?" Vegeta asked. "Or was that something dangerous?!" He picked up the phone and dialed Bulma's cell. She answered. "Oh hi Vegeta. Did you hear that?" "Yes, I did." Vegeta said. "If you don't tell me what Happened, I'm coming home." "Nothing happened, Honey. Piccolo just burst out of the closet and flew out the window. He destroyed our Cable Box and TV, but thats all." Vegeta gasped. "TV? Cable Box? Now My playbo-- I mean, Now my Boxing channel is gone." Vegeta pouted. "It's not fair. Where do you think he's headed towards?" "I don't know!" Bulma said. "Maybe to a strip joint?" That was probley the case. Drugs and Alchohal weren't the only things Piccolo was deprived of. (LOL!)"Well, If anything comes up, Give me a call, Okay?" Vegeta said. "Okay Vegeta. Bye. I have to go patch up the hole in the water bed." She hung up the phone. She sounded P*ssed. It was probley Trunks and his new toys she had told him about earlier in the week. She said he had sung a song that goes, 'LITTLE BOW PEEP GET AWAY FROM THOSE SHEEP WITH THE CHAINSAWS AND SO MANY GUNS'. Vegeta was worried about Trunks' sanity. But then again, he was only 5 years old and children that young tended to be weird sometimes. Vegeta clicked the Remote onto the news channel. He dropped his hand down to pet Rex and realized he wasn't there. Rex was at the front door scratching on it. "You just went out to pee!" Vegeta said. "Wait a while!" But Rex kept on. So Vegeta turned his attention on the TV. "A large and rather ugly green man is terrorizing an old lady." Said the reporter. The screen flashed to Piccolo biting a 70 year old's ear. "You rearely ever get to see scenes of nature so....so.....halarious. Nature doesn't tend to be this way." Then Piccolo flashed right in front of the camera. He shot a Special Beam Cannon at the reporter, singing her head clean off. "Yes, thats right, June!" Said a male reporter. "Nature doesn't get any funnier than this!" The camera flashed to Piccolo Special Beam Connoning a house. (From now on, S.B.C stands for Special Beam Cannon) "God, he is nuts!" Vegeta shouted. He noticed a familier face was flying toward Picollo. It was Akurei. He shot a Ki blast, and it hit Piccolo in the butt. He howled and turned around. Akurei noticed the camera was on him as Piccolo's butt swelled to Ghetto Proportions. "Why, hello." Akurei said. "What happened to your sexy young reporter?" "June got her head blasted off." Said the Male reporter. "I'm Jack Offer(Get the joke?). We noticed that you just shot a beam out of your hand. Where the hell did it come from, and are you a freak of nature?" He held the Microphone up to Akurei's mouth. "Um, Im a Saiyan? I fight for you people? I just wanted to say you can go to my website. I have webcams of many young woman, inckuding my best friends wife." Vegeta's eyes got big. "WHAT?!" He said. He cursed Akurei and decided not to go help. Piccolo trampled Akurei and tried to suck his blood. "Apparently, the large ugly green man thinks he's a vampire." Picollo got in the camera and roared as strings of spit flowed down his chin. "I'm gonna bite your skin into bite sized chunks and bite you until you can't bite any more!" He roared. The camera zoomed in on Picollo's left nostril. "Can you blow your nose, green guy?" Jack Offer asked. "I mean, you got this big green--" Picollo bit Jack Offer's cheek. He started biting him as the camera was thrown into a civilian. You could hear Jack Offer wail in the back ground. Akurei pounced on Piccolo and Began beating him up. "Ow." The civialian said. "We just got like...totally amazing footage of a green man's nose. And you saw it LIVE On KSTP channel 57." Piccolo knocked Akurei off him and killed a little kid. Then Vegeta saw two more familer faces dart onto the scene. Bulma kicked and planted her foot so hard on Picollo's butt Vegeta could have sworn her foot went up it. "What in the hell is she doing?" Vegeta asked. Trunks hopped on Piccolo's shoulders and began pulling his antennae. "Silly funny buggy man." Trunks taunted. He pulled harder. "HA HA! You have silly funny buggy strings sticking out of your silly funny buggy head." He yanked them. Piccolo bit his foot. The sweet taste of blood rushed past his sharp teeth and down his throat. Vegeta saw Blood explode from around where the teeth went it. "OW!" Trunks shouted and was thrown off with a sling of Piccolo's head. Then Piccolo turned to Bulma with evil eyes. "Is this yours??" He asked, pulling a high heeled shoe out of his crack. "Yes." Bulma said, scowling at the hole in Piccolo's pants and the slime on her shoe. She slipped in on her foot. "Yes, it's mine." She said, snottily. "And you have some cleaning to do down there." Vegeta howled with laughter. So did the civilian. Piccolo growled at Bulma and The camera shut off. Vegeta grabbed his doggy and his doggy's leash and put them on his back. Then they blasted out of the cabin and to where Piccolo and his nasty crack were.
Vegeta saw Trunks laying on the ground holding his bleeding foot. Vegeta landed. "Oh, stop crying! At least your foot didn't go up Piccolo's CRACK!" Trunks sniffed. "Hey Vegeta!" Piccolo said. "Im gonna kill the things you like the most!" He pointed at Bulma. "NO! Not Bulma!" Vegeta said. He pointed at the library. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THE LIVRARY OUT OF THIS!" He dove to try and save all the books. But he was too late. The library exploded and a book of naked ladies landed inTrunks' lap. As Vegeta wailed, he started thumbing through the magazine. He saw some things he hand never known to exist. "The library!" Vegeta said, tying Rex to a tree. "Now it's personal!" Vegeta made a sighn Language 'B' and launched a Big Bang attack. It nailed Picollo and his pants flew off. He was wearing flowery thongs. Bulma started laughing. She fell over. "Those underwear are more frilly than mine!" There was a big orange frill around the edges. Piccolo covered them up but then decided to fight in his lady's underpants. The civilian laughed. "This is funny. WAIT! Those are my mothers!" The civilian dropped the camera. "We can't beat him up!" Bulma said. "Look! He's disabled. His @$$ crack smells inhuman!" Vegeta went Super Siayan. "Let's knock off his shirt and see if he's wearing a bra!" He said, and he flew up. Indeed, Piccolo was. It matched the underwear.
"Bulma, you leave and fix Trunks' foot up." Vegeta said. "I'm going to beat Piccolo up, and in the process, find out what other secrets he has besides being vilontly queer."OKay!" Bulma said. She looked at the two holes in Trunks' huge swollen foot that looked like a block. They were surrounded by a purple bruise and plenty of blood. Bulma coulden't think of anything to jam in the holes and plug them up. So she did it with cigeratte butts. "OW!" Trunks said. He wasn't crying. "We have to go home and get colonial Mustard and his men!" Trunks explained. "They can fight and kill Piccolo!" Bulma shook her head. "You just stay here with these cigeratte butts in your foot while I go and beat Piccolo but try to avoid his butt crack!" Bulma found that she coulden't fly, so she coulden't get to Piccolo and Vegeta. She was discouraged. She worried about Vegeta's sanity because had to be around Piccolo as he flounced around in frilly thongs. Vegeta was getting the pulp beat out of him. Piccolo was talking in what resembled baby noises. "GA BAA BAA BOO ZA!" He said. "What?" Vegeta asked, blocking punches. "You sound like a baby!" "Ohh BAA?!" Vegeta punched Piccolo right in the face and Piccolo flew down fast and slammed into the side of a brick wall. "OHH BA!"He yelled. He had bitten his tongue almost in half. The Civilian picked up the camera again. "Another strage freak of nature has taken over the fight. Here comes the other freak of nature!" Akurei flew down from an outhouse. He was behind the now airborne Piccolo, who didn't know he was there. Vegeta mouthed at Akurei to attack. Akueri Grabbed an iron crowbar and brought it down HARD on Piccolo's head. "OH BABA!" Piccolo screamed in rage. He turned around and slung Akurei into the wall. Then he sped off. "Where are you going?" Vegeta called after Piccolo. Akurei struggled to get up. Piccolo was flying as fast as he could. To.....A Liquor store! He bursted in through the door. "Okay, People Ba Ba's." Piccolo said. "Give me all the beer, and no one will get hurt." A clerk was terrified. "Sir, if you drink all this beer at one time.....or even over a period of time, it'll make your liver exp--" Piccolo blasted her head off. Then he began grabbing bottles and guzzling them down by the dozen. Vegeta and Akurei burst in through the windows. "Stop it, Piccolo!" Vegeta said. He blasted the beer out of his hand. Akurei picked up about 3 bottles and was about to exit with them, when Piccolo held a finger. The scene seemed to move in slow motion as Piccolo S.B.C'd Akurei three times--In the Heart, Lungs and Stomach. Large holes the zize of quarters were in these places. Akurei was a saiyan peephole. Vegeta stared in amazement. "Does it hurt?" He asked. Akurei nodded. "Get that DEnde...." He started bleeding profusly out his mouth and every hole in his body except his ears. "DENDEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta called. Piccolo grabbed his beer and exited. Bulma, Rex and Trunks(Flying) Entered the room. "What happened?" Trunks asked. "He's a pincusion." Bulma cleared the way. "Coming through! Don't worry, I have plenty of cigeratte butts!" Vegeta gawked. "You can't put cigeratte butts in him!" "Well excuse me!" Bulma said. "I can do whatever I want." When she jammed a cigeratte butt in his hole(Ew) He screamed bloody murder. "Oh shut up!" She said, and poked a cigeratte butt down his throat. That shut him up. "Call that 911 mobile." Vegeta said. "I'll catch up with Piccolo." Bulma shook her head. "YOU call the 911 mobile! I'll find Piccolo!" And she ran outside and hopped in someone's plane. Then she flew off. "There's another arrest warrant against her." Vegeta sighed. Rex barked. He was sniffing at the dying Akurei. Trunks was already on the phone with 911, but they were talking about Star Wars. "The Ambulance is on the way." Trunks said when Vegeta asked. "He just knows plenty about Star Wars is all." Vegeta grabbed the phone from Trunks and hung it up on the ringer. Trunks groaned. He pulled the cigeratte butts out of his feet. Blood gushed all around. "EW!" Vegeta screamed. "God, Trunks, put it back!" Trunks put on a sock, but it didn't do any good. In moments the sock was soaked with blood and dripping. The paremedics came in and took Akurei, who was still consious but barely. They decided to take Trunks too because the wounds on his foot were through a main vein or two. "Are you coming with your son and friend?" The paremedic asked. "It wqould probley be better." Vegeta thought. "If I go, Bulma won't know where to find me!" And he hopped in. He was happy to be going. He picked up Rex and put him in because he wanted him to come. "The dog can't go." Said a gay paremedic." Vegeta looked at him evilly. "yes he can! He has rights too!!!!!!" The paremedic shoved Rex down as they sped off. Rex ran after them.
Piccolo was right in the windsheild of the plane. Bulma decided to go in for the kill and ram him in the @$$! "Look out, Piccolo!" She shouted as she put it into mach 5 and drove directly into Piccolo. He groaned and bounced off the windsheild in 3 little hops. Showers of blood poured. But Bulma wasn't finished yet. She put the plane into reverse and rammed into Piccolo from the front, this time, hoping to knock him out of the sky and the fall would knock him unconsious. But the second blow just dazed Piccolo, so she turned the plane around. Then she put the gas pedal to the floor! The plane roared foward and slammed into Piccolo. Scraps of his clothing was stuck to the front bumper of the plane. Piccolo's head was all bloody, as well as his flowery underwear and ghetto butt. Piccolo fell from the sky and landed in a fishing pond. Bulma quickly landed the plane and hopped out. She stole a fishing pole from a lonely old geezer and fished Piccolo out. Then she jumped on top and began beating the pulp out of him. He screamed and screeched and moaned. "THIS IS FOR BEING UGLY!" She said, and she slugged him across the face. "THIS IS FOR HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MASTER ROSHI!" She kicked his balls. "THIS IS FOR NOT DYING!" She slapped him hard. "AND THIS IS FOR BEING A PEICE OF SCUM!" She started punching, slapping and kicking him all over. Soon he was unconsious. She rammed his head against the rocks. Fishermen were watching her. "I hate you!" She yelled. "I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" The fisherman tapped on her shoulder. "Um, unconsious men can't hear you, dear." He said. Bulma drop kicked him over the horizon.
"You have to write your will." Vegeta prodded. "Because your going to croak soon. We all know that. So lay some money on me." Akurei groaned. "I;m not going to die. I'm going to live." Vegeta slapped him. "Don't speak of such morbid things!" He scolded. "Call in the lawyer and start writing the will! Your blue 63' Thunderbird car is really cool. Perhaps I could.... Or maybe you'll let me take your energy when you die? Then I'll be stronger and your weakness will be of some good." "You can't take someones energy." Akurei said. "Thats impossible." Vegeta nodded. "Yep, pretty much." Trunks griped as the doctors were putting bandages on his foot. :"Who put cigeratte butts in this child?" The doctor asked. "This is the most reckless and disgusting thing to do! Does she even know who smoked them?" Vregeta shrugged. "I don't know! What do you think I am, Confucious?" The doctor was silent. Vegeta clicked on the news. "Its seems a really hot blue haired lady beat the pulp out of the town beater upper guy!" Said the Civilian. A picture of Bulma talking to the press flashed on. "Yeah! And I punched him and ran him over. He's really meaqn, you know. And he has the worst breath. Anyway, he got my husband in jail, so I just decided I would get some revenge. So I did. How much did you say I'll nbe getting payed for this? $50.00 per press per minute sounds good." She paused while a reporter said something. "Why you cheap sons of Bit--" It cut her off as the Civilian showed a picture of the battered and beaten Piccolo. "It looks like he's coming around" Said the civilian. "Maybe he'll talk to us!" He held a Mike up to Picoolo. "BA BA?!" He said. Then his head dropped again. He was fainted again. Bulma's little money issue seemed to be worked out. "My flying, powerball shooting son and husband coulden't do it, but me, an earthiling could!" Vegeta was getting P*ssed that Bulma was talking credit. He hadn't hurt Piccolo because Piccolo was an old friend. Not that Vegeta really liked him......but there was that knowing him thing. It was hard to kill someone when they were only being mean because they were on a drug withdraw. And alchohal. Vegeta dialed Bulma's cell on his. It rang on the TV. "Oh, thats vegeta!" BVulma said. "G2G!" Bulma the TV taped the conversation. "Hello, Bulma? Stop talking to those press people right now! We're at the hospital. Come on." Bulma shook her head. "Vegeta, I'mc getting payed out the @$$ for this! I don't have to work for a month if I'm on herte for just half an hour! So come on, just a little longer." "Okay." Vegeta said. "Fine." Bulma bid her usuall love yous and goodbye and Vegeta hung up, still P*ssed beyond man's repair. Trunks kciked his foot and a bloody bandage hit the doctor in the face.
Later, Vegeta,Bulma and Trunks were happily at home. "I still have 5 days of my vacation left." Vegeta said. He had really started to enjoy the vacation now that he and Rex were such good freinds. "So I'm leaving! Bye!" He was about to fly off but Trunks grabbed him. "Daddy, let me just show you what happens when you go away." He said. "Number one, Green men go nuts. And number two--" They flew to the top of the stairs and he opened the door to his room. Vegeta was horrifyed! His son's brain was being warped by sheeps, birds and giraffes! All in pastel baby colors, as well! "Bulma!" Vegeta said. "What were you thinking?!" She looked so guilty Vegeta almost decided to drop the whole thing. "I just thought that it was bad for his health to shoot his parents and freinds with fake spears." Vegeta was really mad. "He's a little boy! Little boys need boyish toys or they'll grow up sissys or queers! Bulma, Bulma, Bulma....." He shook his head. "I don't see whats so wrong with it." Bulma said. "They're just lambs. Cute little lambs." "No, DEAR." Vegeta said sarcasticly. "I will show you a SHEEP. These are freakin puffy cloud things!" He flew through the window and was back about 3 minutes later. He had a baby lamb in his arms. "THIS is a sheep. THAT is not a sheep." Trunks saw the lamb. It had a blue ribbon and bell around it's neck. "Oh, how cute Vegeta!" Bulma said. She hugged the baby lamb. Her face was buried in its fur. "Its not cute." Said vegeta, disgusted. "It has no way of defending itself. I could snap my fingers and Rex would eat it up!" Bulma hugged it and kissed it. Vegeta was jealous. "I'm taking it back." He said as Trunks joined in on the charade. "But daddy!" Trunks said. "I want to keep it! It's so cute!" "ITS NOT CUTE! Its getting more kisses from my wife than I get in a month, and from here it looks like there's considerably more tongue involved!" Bulma was offended. "I'm not french kissing this lamb." Bulma said. "I only french kiss people and fish." Vegeta decided to let that comment slide. "I didn't mean you were french kissing it! I meant you were licking it! Thats one good thing you did for me! At least you usually keep your tongue in my mouth and not all over my face." Bulma was sad. She stopped kissing the lamb. "If you decide not to go tonight, then..." She said. vegeta rolled his eyes. Trunks was hugging the lamb. "I want to keep this lamb." He said.
"LAmbs poop! They smell! They can't be trained!" The lamb walked over and peed on the newspaper. "And they're smart alecs!" Vegeta added. "Just let him keep the stupid lamb." Bulma said. "No." Said Vegeta. " You have a romantic interest in this lamb." Bulma slapped the lamb. "No I don't. Let him keep the lamb so he'll shut up." Trunks was crying and hugging the lamb. He took out a marker and wrote 'Mustard'on the bell. "Mustard. Thats his name." Trunks giggled. He liked Mustard. "OKay, you can keep Mustard." Vegeta sighed. Trunks hugged Vegeta's legs. "Thank you daddy! Me and Mustard will be so happy!" Rex stepped into the room. Vegeta was hoping he would maul Mustard and get it over with, But Rex just sat down by Vegeta's feet and stared at Mustard. He was scared of Mustard.
"Thanks for letting Trunks keep Mustard." Bulma said to Vegeta in their room. She was brushing her hair (Not that she has much of it. Keep in mind, she has her Buu saga haircut in this story) and pushing her cuticles back while Vegeta played Tug of War with Rex. They were using a sock. Rex stopped and jumped up on the table with the mirror where Bulma was doing her stuff. He put his paws on it and barked. "Get this nasty smelly breath animal out!" She said. "Go put it in Goku's room. It's his dog." Vegeta hugged Rex. "It's my dog." Bulma shook her head."No. We can't have a dog! They're messy and ugly and they have bad breath. Or we can't have one this big, Vegeta. I'll get you a nice Chiwawah. (You know, those small yappy dogs? Can't spell it. Somebody tell me how) Vegeta hugged Rex. "No! It's mine. I won't let you take rex away from me just because your attracted to a lamb!" "What does a lamb have to do with it?" Bulma asked. Then she put on a night gown and they put Rex in the hall and maybe I should stop writing about them right now so they can do their stuff in peace.
Trunks was laying in his room all by himself in his bed with Mustard. Mustard kept making a weird sound going 'BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" And Trunks didn't like this sound one bit. But he liked Mustard alot. But There was one problem. Whenever Trunks was around Mustard, he always had this huge urge to sneeze. And he thought he felt his eyes swelling up.
Vegeta was awake at 1:00 AM. He had spasificly waited until Bulma was asleep because he needed to go on a mission. He sat up in bed and saw that the time was just right. Then he looked over at Bulma. She was perfectly sound asleep. He was sure he could get away with it if he was quiet. He slowly pulled himself out of bed and got dressed. It was raining outside, so he put on a big black raincoat that looked like a trashbag. But as he stepped across the room and to the window, a board in the floor made a long creak. Vegeta scowled and cursed the floor as Bulma turned around. He felt sure that when her hand flopped over in her sleep and he wasn't there she would almost certainly wake up and ask where he was going. Her hand searched for him in her sleep........and she didn't wake up. She rolled over. Vegeta let out the breath he had been holding and hovered up and prepared to fly out the window. But just as he reached it............"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!?" He turned around. Bulma was still fast asleep. But Chi Chi was in the doorway. "Shut up!" Vegeta ordred. "Your gonna wake her up!" Vegeta stepped out of the room. "Whats your problem?" he asked her. "Do you want me to get caught?" Chi Chi nodded. "Your sneaking out to go screw some......some....Victoria's Secret Model, aren't you?! Is that what your up to?" Vegeta rolled his eyes. "No, they all have squished noses or thin hair." He said. "I think I'll pass. And your not supposed to even be walking down this hall. You guys' rooms are in the other wing!" Vegeta was getting P*ssed. "Well I heard the floorboards creak. I thought, 'it might be bedsprings' but then I thought that you might be trying to leave, and I was right! Boy was I right!" She kept on ranting and ranting and flapping her lips unil Vegeta knocked her out. A big purple ugly ghetto bruise appeared on her head. He thogut she looked kinda like a man. Then Goten came. "I heard you knock out mommy!" He said. "An so I came down and--" Vegeta knocked him out. Then came Goku. "Kakarott, don't make me have to knock out your whole family." Goku went out right the way he came. Then Vegeta entered his room. He hovered over the floor and to the, window. All the sudden-- "OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" Came Bulma's girlish squeal. "OH! SunofaB*tch.......................................OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" She screamed again. "Whats wrong?" Vegeta asked. Her eyes popped open. "An ant bit me." She sobbed. Shge smashed a little red fire ant. "Where were you going to so late?" She asked with a yawn. Vegeta debated on weather he should knock her out or not. But he coulden't bring himself to do it. "No where. Just don't worry about it; I'll be back." Bulma nodded and went back to sleep. Then Vegeta left to go see his favorite Kiddy Clown do tricks.
Vegeta loved the clown's tricks. Or he had loved it. Now he was at home back in bed. He was reading a book called ' Animal Farm' and eating some potato chips. He wasn't really understanding the words, though. He was worried about Akurei in the hospital and whether Piccolo was in a place he coulden't get out. Vegeta was probley the only one who knew just how powerful Piccolo was. At one time he had been the second strongest being on earth, that is before Vegeta started his training and became so strong. If Piccolo decided he wanted to, he could train up to be stronger than Vegeta and blast his @$$. Suddenly, Bulma started talking in her sleep. "There's treasure...." She said. Treasure? Vegeta thought. "Isn't that a bunch of gold and money?!" Bulma rolled to where she was facing him. Vegeta watched her talk. She was slurring her words as she said, "The Treasure is Buried outside." She looked dead, which was strange. Vegeta listened carefully, staring intently at her pretty face. "It's buried underneath Rex's doghouse." Bulma concluded. Then she threw her hand weirdly. "It hasss...money." She said as a final adjustment, and then she lay quiet. "Why thank you, Bulma." Vegeta said. "Thanks for the great advice!" Vegeta gave Bulma a kiss on the mouth and went to get his shovel.
It was dawn by the time Vegeta was finished. He had dug a 5 foot hole, but no treasure. And the soil was strange and hard as if it had never been dug in before. "Darn that woman!" Vegeta said. "Her lousy sleep talking sent me on a wild goose chase!" He threw the shovel at their elderly neighbor, Gerald. It hit Gerald in the face and then banged into his palm tree. (He had a palm tree in his yard) Geralds ugly black dog growled at Vegeta. Vegeta blasted it's leg off. Then it shut up. Vegeta stormed in the mouth and took a long drink of water. Bulma was eating a bagel aqnd reading a woman's magazine. Trunks was playing with Mustard in the floor. "Why are YOU all dirty?" Bulma asked, with a mouth full of bagel. She had a strange smile on her face. "Last night you sleep talked about some treasure under Rex's doghouse. I went outside and dug for this so called 'treasure' and there was nothing. You sleep talking isn't very accurate." Vegeta took a large drink, and Bulma bursted out laughing. "I wasn't asleep." She said. "What?" Vegeta asked. "I wasn't asleep. I told you there was treasure under Rex's doghouse to send you on a wild goose chase." Vegeta was angry. "But WHY?!" He asked. "WHY?!" Bulma pointed at a picture in the paper. There was a picture of Vegeta asking for a kiddy clown's autograph."You were the only person over 6 not in the parents section." Bulma laughed. She thought it was pretty funny. "It's not funny!" Vegeta growled. "That's my favorite clown!" "Thank god you didn't pick a prono clown." Trunks said suddenly. "Iv'e heard about those. They come to adult parties and do weird stuff." Vegeta scowled. "I don't know who told you about these adult clowns." "You did." Bulma and trunks said at the same time. Vegeta blushed. "I-Iv'e gotta go get the paper." He ran outside quickly to hide his embarassment. But when he picked up the paper, something very large and painful hit him right in the back of the head. It hitr him so hard his face was buried in the mud. He plucked his face out and looked up right into the snotty nose of Piccolo. A drop of snot hit him on the forehead. "GAH!" He said, startled. He wiped his head on the ground. "What do You want?" He asked. "I'm going to read my paper. Go away." It was that moment he remembered the events of yesterday. He sent a powerful blast right into Piccolo's face, who did 5 soumersaults backwards and hit the fence. Now was Vegeta's chance to finish Piccolo off or permanently disable him. He aimed a Big Bang at Piccolo. Then Gerald stepped on the scene. "Hit Piccolo, or Gerald?" Vegeta thought. It was a tough decision. "Piccolo. No, Gerald! No....." He thought some more. "Gerald." He hit Gerald with a big bang, and he flew right back into his own yard. Then he aimed a blast at Piccolo. A Golagon Fire, or something like that. "Please don't!" Piccolo begged. "I can change, I promise I can! " Vegeta stared at Piccolo. "Trunks, come out here!" Vegeta called. Trunks and Mustard romped at Vegeta's side. "Whats wrong, daddy?! Oh, it's Piccolo." "I want you to test your Burning Attack on Piccolo." Vegeta was so guilty about beating up Piccolo, he decided to get his son to do it. Trunks did as he was told. Piccolo's arm was shattered and burned. Piccolo screamed and blasted off. "I'll be back!" He called as he flew away. "Nice job, son." vegeta said, and he put his hand on Trunks head. Then he saw Mustard. He was a plump little lamb. Plump and healthy. Plump and healthy and he looked mouth-wateringly good. Vegeta began to drool as he stared at Mustard running. The Lamb's )O-So-good looking legs pumped, and Vegeta coulden't take it anymore. He pulled out a knife and spoon and started chasing after the lamb. "Dad!" Trunks said. "What are you doing?" vegeta tried to sink the fork in Mustard's thigh. The animal Bleated and kicked. Right in Vegeta's face. A big red hoofprint made itself known, and when vegeta snorted, there was thick red blood. "I'm bleeding!" He said. "My dose! OW!" Bulma came outside and saw the blood leaking from Vegeta's face and splashing to the ground. She grabbed her hankercehif and held it to Vegeta's nose. "What happened?" She asked. "Was Piccolo here and he hurt you?" Vegeta shook his head. "Yes and Do." He said, and he snorted. "Don't do that!" Bulma said, and she shuttered. "He did come but he didn't hurt my dose." Vegeta said. "Dat lamb Mustard kicked me in dah dose." He blew his nose on the now soaking hanky. His nose was becoming swollen. Mustard was cowering in the corner. "We're eating lambchops donight." Vegeta said, sounding all stuffy. Trunks hugged Mustard. "No!" He wailed. "Mother, don't let him eat Mustard!!" Trunks, Bulma and Vegeta(And Mustard, too) went back inside the house. Rex ran up to Vegeta and put his paws up on his knees. Vegeta petted Rex's head and threw the ball for rex. It bounced off Bulma's expensive vase, which crashed to the floor. Goku was in the kitchen eating an orange. The orange's fresh smell was in the kitchen. Then Bulma walked in. As soon as the smell of the orange hit her nose, she began sneezing and her eyes began itching. "Goku! I cannot-Achoo!-Be around-Achoo!-Oranges because I'm-Achoo!-Allergic to them! Achoo!" She rubbed her running nose. "What's that, Bulma?" Goku asked. He walked over with the orange in his hand. "Rubbing an orange in my face always help clear out the vocal cords!" He said. Those were the last words before Vegeta and Trunks heard Bulma's ear splitting scream and they ran in the kitchen. Goku was rubbing an orange in Bulma's face! Vegeta grabbed the orange and threw it to Rex. "You stupid@$$! She's allergic to oranges!" A purple and orange rash was breaking out all over Bulma's face.
about 45 minutes later, Bulma didn't look so good. Her face was covered with a puffy purplish red rash. Her eyes were swollen shut and watering. Her nose was running and she kept sneezing. The rash was spreading to all parts of her body. Vegeta handed her a glass of water. "Gosh, you look strange." Vegeta said. "You look like a totally different woman." He was silent then. "What do you mean by dat?" Bulma asked, then sneezed. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. Vegeta sat down on the edge of the bed. "You don't look as pretty." He said. "Right now you look not very pretty at all." For some STRANGE reason that Vegeta didn't quite know, Bulma began to cry. "I know, I look like a monster!" She said. "An ugly monster!" She sobbed. Vegeta patted her on the back. He gave her a tissue. "Not like a monster." He corrected. "Just not as pretty as you did look." "Hand me a mirror." Bulma demanded. "Now, Bulma..." Vegeta said. "I don't think seeing a mirror is the best thing right now--" Bulma grabbed a mirror and gazed upon her once beautiful face at the horrible things that covered it. The swollen eyes, the runny nose, and the purplish red rash. It was now all over her hands and legs, too. "I;m going to GET Goku for this." Bulma growled. "If it's the last thing I do." She slammed the mirror down on the nightstand so hard it shattered. "Um, read a book." Vegeta said. "Sometimes it makes me feel better if I'm mad. Especially if It has alot of sweareeing or revenge getting in it. I just imagine I'm the person swearing or getting revenge and it takes the feelings away. Here, I'll read a passage from a book." He looked through his bookcase and pulled out I know what you did last summer."Here's the passage." Vegeta started, then he cleared his throat. "My mother isn't either."Bud said. "She's in a darned sight worst condition than your mother. I have an account to settle with the four of you, but it hasn't all worked out the way I planned. You're the most important one, though. You're the one who made a joke of it by sending flowers." Vegeta stopped. "And then it goes on to tell of a gruesome attempt to kill. Tears were running down Bulma's montrous face. Then she heard a noise. "Did you...HEAR that?" She asked. She stuck a finger in her ear and twirled it, then listened again. "No....I didn't hear any-- THUMP!!!!!!--Thing? Oh wait, I guess I just did." Rex was barking outside and it sounded like he was trying to bite someone. "Go look outside."Bulma said. Suddenly someone swung the door open as fast as they could and landed right in the middle of Bulma. It was Trunks. "Mommy I heard somethig outside my window. There's someone on my swingset." "That's crazy talk!" Vegeta said. "It could be Goten! Did you think about GOTEN?!" Trunks shook his head. "But it's not. Goten went to the zoo. This person was so big I could hear it bumping." "Maybe you should see who it was." Bulma said. "We just bought that swingset last Christmas." Vegeta got up off the bed. "Fine. But it's nothing." He walked out of the room and Trunks and Bulma waited for something to tell them it was nothing. But They didn't hear anything. Trunks got up. "I'm gonna go see. Maybe Daddy got ate." He floated out the door and to the back door. He slowly turned the knob. He thought that he heard sounds og commotion outside. He was scared.
He had a reason to be scared! The first thing he noticed was that Vegeta was face down on the ground under a swinging swing. Rex was chained up to the fence. And then he raised his eyes. PICCOLO WAS SWINGING! He looked happy and smily. "I don't even think he knwows Daddy is knocked out under here." Trunks thought. "He always told me to stay away from moving swings." He sidestepped slowly in front of the swinging swing. Piccolo's eyes were closed and he was laughing. Trunks extended his hands and braced his feet. Then the swing bashed into his hands and he used all his strength to stop it. Piccolo flew forward and into the tree. Trunks turned around and looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot and red, and he was mad now. He had a can of Gasoline in his hands. He started pouring it all around him and the tree. "What are you DOING?!" Trunks asked. "Your not supposed to play with gasoline." Piccolo pulled out a match. "Oh god your not supposed to play with matches!" Trunks said. "I remember....." *FLASHBACK* Trunks was a small little kid of about 3 and a half. He happily held a box of matches from his daddy's favorite stripping restaraunt. Vegeta and Bulma were bickering in the kitchen, Trunks could hear them. So now was the perfect time to play with what he always dreamed of playing with(Ew that doesn't sound right) He took out a match and struck it against the side. It let up with a orangy yellow glow that Trunks found very pretty. Kitty was underneath him. (Kitty the 1st) Trunks thought the fire was so pretty, he reached out and touched it. "OW!" He yelled, and dropped the match. It landed on the cat, who screamed and yowled. Trunks stomped out the small square of fire beside the cat, who was running all over the yard. "Kitty! Come back so I can fix you!" Kitty ran all around. Trunks' finger was all red and blistery. he popped the finger into his mouth. Thats when Kitty exploded.*END FLASHBACK* By the time Trunks had stopped thinking about the past, Piccolo was getting ready to light the match. Alarms went off in Trunks' head. Even though he was little, he knew what would happen if you put fire on gasoline. Thats how his friend Tommy's suicidal dad set their house on fire. Trunks jumped on Piccolo and they began to wrestle for the match. Piccolo put Trunks' hand, and blood poured out. It wasn't that deep though. So Trunks applied a punch to Piccolo's mouth, knocking out all his front teeth and one of his pointy fangs. They clattered to the floor. Piccolo was inraged because his teeth were one of his best weapons. He struck the match extremely fast and got ready to drop it. But Trunks grabbed it and threw it behind him blindly. Any place was better than hitting the gasoline.
Later, as Trunks and Bulma sat it the hospital, Trunks thought he was really bad. He didn't mean to! The doctors wheeled in the stretcher with the burned up Vegeta on it. Vegeta growled. "You are SOOOOOOOO dead when I get out of here." Vegeta said. Trunks scratched his head. "Hey, any place is better than on the gasoline." Vegeta struggled to grab Trunks, but practiccly his whole body was a cast. "Stop!" Bulma said. "The more you move, the more likely you are to have scars. I dont want to sleep with a man who has scars all over him." She shuttered. "They said they could give me surgery to get rid of any scars." Vegeta rasped. "Now let me cut off Trunks' head." Trunks knew Vegeta didn't mean it, but he was still scared. "I always Told you not to play with matches!" Vegeta said. "Since you were three, and you exploded Kitty the 1st. I spent weeks cleaning off the side of the house. But NO! Everything I tell you goes in one ear and out the other." He wiggled in all the casts. "STOP it." Bulma said. Her rash's and stuff was totally gone by now, but she was still cranky. "These casts are stupid looking. They make me look like...like I'm weak!" Trunks hopped up on the bed with his dad. "Yes....Yes now your in perfect strangling range..." Vegeta said. "VEGETA, If you move in those casts I'm going to snatch you bald!" Bulma snapped. He lay perfectly still, but he glared at Trunks. "Let's watch the TV." Trunks said. He clicked on the TV with the remote. It was on the news channel, and they saw a familier face. Piccolo! Trunks gasped. "Daddy, with you in the hospital, what are we going to do about Piccolo?!" Vegeta wiggled. "I'm going to bust out of this joint and blast off his ears." Bulma slapped Vegeta right on the cheek. "STOP WIGGLING!" He stopped. Blood leaked from the bruns where she had slapped him. "Sorry, Honey." Bulma said, and she began to wipe it off. It was nasty. Piccolo, on the news, was terrorizing Toys R Us. "Thats my favorite store!" Trunks said. "We have to do something." He looked out the window and saw smoke rising from the all-too-familier store. "Come on, daddy!" Trunks said. He tugged on Vegeta's mass of casts. "Leave me alone, brat." He snapped. "I'm going to sit here and enjoy not being able to do anything while I can." Vegeta closed his eyes. Trunks jumped out the window and began to fly. He decided to go and get Goten from the zoo to help him out. So he headed in that direction.
The zoo was a smelly, ugly place full of animals who were bleating and hollering as circus masters and people abused them. Trunks decided not to focus on the animals, but on Goten. Goten and his parents were gazing at the tiger pin. "Cool, daddy! Woulden't you just totally FLIP if he bursted through the wires and ate you?" Goku shrugged. "Yes, just absolutly FLIP." He said sarcasticcly. Trunks landed and began tugging on Goten's arm. "What is it, Trunks?" Goten asked, annoyed. "We're on A Family trip." It was Goten's 5th birthday today. Trunks 6th brithday was next week. "We have to go stop piccolo from destroying the Toy R Us." Goten's eyes got wide. "He's destorying the Toys R Us? No kidding!" Goten began hovering. He powered up to Super Saiyan. So did Trunks. They flew toward the toy store, which was by now bursted into flame. Piccolo was carrying some lady's baby in the crook of his arm and laughing. "My baby!" The lady screamed. "Will somebody please tell him to make my baby's death slow and painful?!" Trunks and Goten decided to ignore her comment and PRETEND like she wanted her baby back. Trunks and his freind flew up to confront Piccolo. "Piccolo, what do you have to say for yourself?!" Trunks asked, furious. "I have nothing to say." Piccolo said, and he dropped the baby. Its screams got softer as it went down, a bit of a releif for Trunks. But Goten, on instinct, zipped down as fast as he could and caught the child. It ceased its screaming and stared at Goten peculiarly. Goten floated down and handed the child to it's mother, who didn't look to thrilled. She stalked off into a female stripping club. "Goten, get up here!" Trunks shouted. Him and Piccolo were in a punching round, and Trunks was using the best of his wits and training to avoid them all. But he wasn't trained more than Piccolo. Piccolo zipped around to the back of Trunks and applied a punch to the back of his head which sent him flying down to the ground. He hit his head and skidded about 50 feet with his face ingraved in the pavement. "Ow." Goten said. "That looks like it hurt." Trunks jumped up, powered up and zipped back to join the fight again. He caught Piccolo in the side of the face with a kick, but it didn't knock him out of the air. It just knocked him flying about 100 yards. Piccolo growled and zipped forward, punching Trunks about 50 times. When Trunks was wavering back and fourth and about to fall, Piccolo Used a Special Beam Cannon to knock Trunks out of the air. He flew 70 feet down to the ground and busted his head wide open. "Uh oh." Goten said. "Trunks is stronger than me, and he coulden't do it! But I have to try!" He powered up as high as he could and flew over to Piccolo. He tried yo punch clumsily, But Piccolo moved his head slightly and punched Goten square in the nose. he flew into a building and was knocked out on impact.
Vegeta and Bulma were watching this on the news. "Oh great, our son's a weakiling!" He said. "He coulden't beat up PICCOLO, of all people." Vegeta was trying to hide that he was worried about Trunks. "What are we going to do?" Bulma asked. "You can't get out of bed or you'll have scars." Vegeta groaned.
"We need the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!" Goten said to a woozy Trunks, who was struggling to stand. "They could beat Piccolo. I mean, bam, bang boom, and he'd be dead." Piccolo landed right in front of Goten. Goten put his hands together. "You come one step closer and I'll Kamehameha your @$$." Trunks let the vulgar language pass. "Yeah, you stupid green bafoon with a nasty butt crack! You ruined my mother's best shoes and caused me to throw a match on my daddy!" Trunks powered up. "Now It's OUR turn to stick something up your @$$!" Trunks blinked behind Piccolo and applied a swift kick to Piccolo's already bruised buttocks. he screamed in agony and whipped around to grab Trunks, but He blinked around front and kicked him right in the face. Goten joined in and threw an energy wave. It hit Piccolo's side and caused a large hole in the clothing, but barely broke the skin. "You have to use stronger attacks than that." Trunks said. "This guy used to be the second strongest person in the world, so says daddy." Goten nodded, and used Kamehameha. This knocked Piccolo out of the air. Trunks made a sign language 'b' and hoped he could use the attack his father had been pushing to teach him for so long. He gathered up all his power and did his father's classic Big Bang. It worked, but wasn't as strong as his father's. Piccolo screamed as his arm was blown off. AS you DBZ fan's know, Piccolo can regenerate any body part he loses. So as he struggled to regenerate, Trunks and Goten shot him with a barrage of power blasts. Some of the weaker ones bounced off, but most of them hit Piccolo in painful places. He screamed and yelped. When the two children were totally out of energy, they waited until the smoke cleared to see if Piccolo was going to be dead or alive. They gulped as the smoke cleared. It was almost clear, and-- That was the ladt thought they had before Piccolo blinked behind them and knocked them out.
Bulma was horrified. "Vegeta, our kid and his friend are out of energy!" She said, breathing hard. "They can't fight back like that! We have to help!" She hiked open the window. "Bulma, do you really think you can help at all? Your of the human race. You can't do anything. With Akurei gone, and Krillin being a misanthrope(Look it up, pal) and Goku burnt to a solid peice, there's nobody. Our son is as good as........" Vegeta trailed off. "Dead.....Your right, Bulma, go. I'll just sit here in all these rediculous casts and watch TV. He wiggled. "If you wiggle one more time I'll do to YOU what I want to do to Piccolo!" Vegeta stopped wiggling. It wasn't worth it. "Just get outta my sight." Said an angry Vegeta. She ran out the door. Since she coulden't fly, she would have to run all the way. She was P*ssed because Vegeta was being so mean. But, she was going against his wishes and he was very worried probley. But still, his little coment had stung.
It had been a week since Picollo was locked inside the Linen closet. Bulma was happier than ever! She would slip him bacon fat and stuff. She said food wasn't good for starting your new life. And she was also happy because Vegeta's vacation was over in 5 days and they could make up for lost time, so to speak. When her and Trunks had gone toy shopping, Trunks was devestated. She had bought him toys of lambs and rubber ducks. His entire room was baby colors. All his toys had interaction skills. "You'll pay for this!" Trunks yelled from his room. "For every last toy! Don't you beleive in reincarnation? What if Coloniel Mustard(Get the joke? CLUE) Gets reincarnated as a bunch of sheep! Sheep can cause way more damage!" Trunks rubbed his hands together. "Yes, I beleive you." Bulma said, rolling her eyes. "Where's your dirty socks?" Trunks pointed to the linen closet. "I'm not going there." Bulma mumbled. Piccolo was going TRULY, TRULY insane. The last few times she had opened the linen closet to get a look, which was about an hour ago, His eyes had been rolling around in his head and they were all puffy. He had mumbled things about the demons under the sheets. (Don't ask) As of now he was bashing against the door and swearing he would get his vengeance to Bulma and Trunks. Shge shrugged him off as Akurei walked through the door. It had been a while since they'd seen eachother. "I brought you some candy!" He said, holding it out. "They're all orange flavor!" Bulma closed the box of choclates and handed them back. "You KNOW I'm allergic to oranges." Bulma said. Akurei hung his head. "I'm sorry. All the training has gotten to me. Why's there someone in the closet!" "Shhhh." Bulma instructed. "It's Piccolo. I'm trying to help him help himself. It's a long story really." Picollo bashed his head against the door. "I don't think he wants your help." Akurei said. Trunks cackled horribly from his room. "BAA BAA BLOODY SHEEP, HAVE YOU ANY GUTS! NO SIR, NO SIR, THEY'RE ALL ON THE SIDEWALK!!" Trunks sang evilly. Then he laughed. "I'm more worried about my son than Piccolo." Bulma said, slapping her head. Then she went to tell Trunks to call his dad.
"Hello?" Vegeta said into the ringing phone. He was laying on the couch with Rex beside him, flipping through channels. They had developed a special bond after the ball catching and now they were inseperable. "Its Trunks." Trunks whispered. "What? What do you want?" Trunks laughed. "Whats so funny, son? Is something wrong?" Trunks cackled again. "Hey Daddy! Piccolo is going crazy. And I want to change my name to Shirly." Vegeta's eyes widened. "Let's take this a step at a time. What did you say?" "I said Piccolo is going nuts and I want to change my name to--" He was cut off as there was a terrible explosion at the other end of the line and the cord was disconnected. "Was that one of a child's typical monthly explosions?" Vegeta asked. "Or was that something dangerous?!" He picked up the phone and dialed Bulma's cell. She answered. "Oh hi Vegeta. Did you hear that?" "Yes, I did." Vegeta said. "If you don't tell me what Happened, I'm coming home." "Nothing happened, Honey. Piccolo just burst out of the closet and flew out the window. He destroyed our Cable Box and TV, but thats all." Vegeta gasped. "TV? Cable Box? Now My playbo-- I mean, Now my Boxing channel is gone." Vegeta pouted. "It's not fair. Where do you think he's headed towards?" "I don't know!" Bulma said. "Maybe to a strip joint?" That was probley the case. Drugs and Alchohal weren't the only things Piccolo was deprived of. (LOL!)"Well, If anything comes up, Give me a call, Okay?" Vegeta said. "Okay Vegeta. Bye. I have to go patch up the hole in the water bed." She hung up the phone. She sounded P*ssed. It was probley Trunks and his new toys she had told him about earlier in the week. She said he had sung a song that goes, 'LITTLE BOW PEEP GET AWAY FROM THOSE SHEEP WITH THE CHAINSAWS AND SO MANY GUNS'. Vegeta was worried about Trunks' sanity. But then again, he was only 5 years old and children that young tended to be weird sometimes. Vegeta clicked the Remote onto the news channel. He dropped his hand down to pet Rex and realized he wasn't there. Rex was at the front door scratching on it. "You just went out to pee!" Vegeta said. "Wait a while!" But Rex kept on. So Vegeta turned his attention on the TV. "A large and rather ugly green man is terrorizing an old lady." Said the reporter. The screen flashed to Piccolo biting a 70 year old's ear. "You rearely ever get to see scenes of nature so....so.....halarious. Nature doesn't tend to be this way." Then Piccolo flashed right in front of the camera. He shot a Special Beam Cannon at the reporter, singing her head clean off. "Yes, thats right, June!" Said a male reporter. "Nature doesn't get any funnier than this!" The camera flashed to Piccolo Special Beam Connoning a house. (From now on, S.B.C stands for Special Beam Cannon) "God, he is nuts!" Vegeta shouted. He noticed a familier face was flying toward Picollo. It was Akurei. He shot a Ki blast, and it hit Piccolo in the butt. He howled and turned around. Akurei noticed the camera was on him as Piccolo's butt swelled to Ghetto Proportions. "Why, hello." Akurei said. "What happened to your sexy young reporter?" "June got her head blasted off." Said the Male reporter. "I'm Jack Offer(Get the joke?). We noticed that you just shot a beam out of your hand. Where the hell did it come from, and are you a freak of nature?" He held the Microphone up to Akurei's mouth. "Um, Im a Saiyan? I fight for you people? I just wanted to say you can go to my website. I have webcams of many young woman, inckuding my best friends wife." Vegeta's eyes got big. "WHAT?!" He said. He cursed Akurei and decided not to go help. Piccolo trampled Akurei and tried to suck his blood. "Apparently, the large ugly green man thinks he's a vampire." Picollo got in the camera and roared as strings of spit flowed down his chin. "I'm gonna bite your skin into bite sized chunks and bite you until you can't bite any more!" He roared. The camera zoomed in on Picollo's left nostril. "Can you blow your nose, green guy?" Jack Offer asked. "I mean, you got this big green--" Picollo bit Jack Offer's cheek. He started biting him as the camera was thrown into a civilian. You could hear Jack Offer wail in the back ground. Akurei pounced on Piccolo and Began beating him up. "Ow." The civialian said. "We just got like...totally amazing footage of a green man's nose. And you saw it LIVE On KSTP channel 57." Piccolo knocked Akurei off him and killed a little kid. Then Vegeta saw two more familer faces dart onto the scene. Bulma kicked and planted her foot so hard on Picollo's butt Vegeta could have sworn her foot went up it. "What in the hell is she doing?" Vegeta asked. Trunks hopped on Piccolo's shoulders and began pulling his antennae. "Silly funny buggy man." Trunks taunted. He pulled harder. "HA HA! You have silly funny buggy strings sticking out of your silly funny buggy head." He yanked them. Piccolo bit his foot. The sweet taste of blood rushed past his sharp teeth and down his throat. Vegeta saw Blood explode from around where the teeth went it. "OW!" Trunks shouted and was thrown off with a sling of Piccolo's head. Then Piccolo turned to Bulma with evil eyes. "Is this yours??" He asked, pulling a high heeled shoe out of his crack. "Yes." Bulma said, scowling at the hole in Piccolo's pants and the slime on her shoe. She slipped in on her foot. "Yes, it's mine." She said, snottily. "And you have some cleaning to do down there." Vegeta howled with laughter. So did the civilian. Piccolo growled at Bulma and The camera shut off. Vegeta grabbed his doggy and his doggy's leash and put them on his back. Then they blasted out of the cabin and to where Piccolo and his nasty crack were.
Vegeta saw Trunks laying on the ground holding his bleeding foot. Vegeta landed. "Oh, stop crying! At least your foot didn't go up Piccolo's CRACK!" Trunks sniffed. "Hey Vegeta!" Piccolo said. "Im gonna kill the things you like the most!" He pointed at Bulma. "NO! Not Bulma!" Vegeta said. He pointed at the library. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THE LIVRARY OUT OF THIS!" He dove to try and save all the books. But he was too late. The library exploded and a book of naked ladies landed inTrunks' lap. As Vegeta wailed, he started thumbing through the magazine. He saw some things he hand never known to exist. "The library!" Vegeta said, tying Rex to a tree. "Now it's personal!" Vegeta made a sighn Language 'B' and launched a Big Bang attack. It nailed Picollo and his pants flew off. He was wearing flowery thongs. Bulma started laughing. She fell over. "Those underwear are more frilly than mine!" There was a big orange frill around the edges. Piccolo covered them up but then decided to fight in his lady's underpants. The civilian laughed. "This is funny. WAIT! Those are my mothers!" The civilian dropped the camera. "We can't beat him up!" Bulma said. "Look! He's disabled. His @$$ crack smells inhuman!" Vegeta went Super Siayan. "Let's knock off his shirt and see if he's wearing a bra!" He said, and he flew up. Indeed, Piccolo was. It matched the underwear.
"Bulma, you leave and fix Trunks' foot up." Vegeta said. "I'm going to beat Piccolo up, and in the process, find out what other secrets he has besides being vilontly queer."OKay!" Bulma said. She looked at the two holes in Trunks' huge swollen foot that looked like a block. They were surrounded by a purple bruise and plenty of blood. Bulma coulden't think of anything to jam in the holes and plug them up. So she did it with cigeratte butts. "OW!" Trunks said. He wasn't crying. "We have to go home and get colonial Mustard and his men!" Trunks explained. "They can fight and kill Piccolo!" Bulma shook her head. "You just stay here with these cigeratte butts in your foot while I go and beat Piccolo but try to avoid his butt crack!" Bulma found that she coulden't fly, so she coulden't get to Piccolo and Vegeta. She was discouraged. She worried about Vegeta's sanity because had to be around Piccolo as he flounced around in frilly thongs. Vegeta was getting the pulp beat out of him. Piccolo was talking in what resembled baby noises. "GA BAA BAA BOO ZA!" He said. "What?" Vegeta asked, blocking punches. "You sound like a baby!" "Ohh BAA?!" Vegeta punched Piccolo right in the face and Piccolo flew down fast and slammed into the side of a brick wall. "OHH BA!"He yelled. He had bitten his tongue almost in half. The Civilian picked up the camera again. "Another strage freak of nature has taken over the fight. Here comes the other freak of nature!" Akurei flew down from an outhouse. He was behind the now airborne Piccolo, who didn't know he was there. Vegeta mouthed at Akurei to attack. Akueri Grabbed an iron crowbar and brought it down HARD on Piccolo's head. "OH BABA!" Piccolo screamed in rage. He turned around and slung Akurei into the wall. Then he sped off. "Where are you going?" Vegeta called after Piccolo. Akurei struggled to get up. Piccolo was flying as fast as he could. To.....A Liquor store! He bursted in through the door. "Okay, People Ba Ba's." Piccolo said. "Give me all the beer, and no one will get hurt." A clerk was terrified. "Sir, if you drink all this beer at one time.....or even over a period of time, it'll make your liver exp--" Piccolo blasted her head off. Then he began grabbing bottles and guzzling them down by the dozen. Vegeta and Akurei burst in through the windows. "Stop it, Piccolo!" Vegeta said. He blasted the beer out of his hand. Akurei picked up about 3 bottles and was about to exit with them, when Piccolo held a finger. The scene seemed to move in slow motion as Piccolo S.B.C'd Akurei three times--In the Heart, Lungs and Stomach. Large holes the zize of quarters were in these places. Akurei was a saiyan peephole. Vegeta stared in amazement. "Does it hurt?" He asked. Akurei nodded. "Get that DEnde...." He started bleeding profusly out his mouth and every hole in his body except his ears. "DENDEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta called. Piccolo grabbed his beer and exited. Bulma, Rex and Trunks(Flying) Entered the room. "What happened?" Trunks asked. "He's a pincusion." Bulma cleared the way. "Coming through! Don't worry, I have plenty of cigeratte butts!" Vegeta gawked. "You can't put cigeratte butts in him!" "Well excuse me!" Bulma said. "I can do whatever I want." When she jammed a cigeratte butt in his hole(Ew) He screamed bloody murder. "Oh shut up!" She said, and poked a cigeratte butt down his throat. That shut him up. "Call that 911 mobile." Vegeta said. "I'll catch up with Piccolo." Bulma shook her head. "YOU call the 911 mobile! I'll find Piccolo!" And she ran outside and hopped in someone's plane. Then she flew off. "There's another arrest warrant against her." Vegeta sighed. Rex barked. He was sniffing at the dying Akurei. Trunks was already on the phone with 911, but they were talking about Star Wars. "The Ambulance is on the way." Trunks said when Vegeta asked. "He just knows plenty about Star Wars is all." Vegeta grabbed the phone from Trunks and hung it up on the ringer. Trunks groaned. He pulled the cigeratte butts out of his feet. Blood gushed all around. "EW!" Vegeta screamed. "God, Trunks, put it back!" Trunks put on a sock, but it didn't do any good. In moments the sock was soaked with blood and dripping. The paremedics came in and took Akurei, who was still consious but barely. They decided to take Trunks too because the wounds on his foot were through a main vein or two. "Are you coming with your son and friend?" The paremedic asked. "It wqould probley be better." Vegeta thought. "If I go, Bulma won't know where to find me!" And he hopped in. He was happy to be going. He picked up Rex and put him in because he wanted him to come. "The dog can't go." Said a gay paremedic." Vegeta looked at him evilly. "yes he can! He has rights too!!!!!!" The paremedic shoved Rex down as they sped off. Rex ran after them.
Piccolo was right in the windsheild of the plane. Bulma decided to go in for the kill and ram him in the @$$! "Look out, Piccolo!" She shouted as she put it into mach 5 and drove directly into Piccolo. He groaned and bounced off the windsheild in 3 little hops. Showers of blood poured. But Bulma wasn't finished yet. She put the plane into reverse and rammed into Piccolo from the front, this time, hoping to knock him out of the sky and the fall would knock him unconsious. But the second blow just dazed Piccolo, so she turned the plane around. Then she put the gas pedal to the floor! The plane roared foward and slammed into Piccolo. Scraps of his clothing was stuck to the front bumper of the plane. Piccolo's head was all bloody, as well as his flowery underwear and ghetto butt. Piccolo fell from the sky and landed in a fishing pond. Bulma quickly landed the plane and hopped out. She stole a fishing pole from a lonely old geezer and fished Piccolo out. Then she jumped on top and began beating the pulp out of him. He screamed and screeched and moaned. "THIS IS FOR BEING UGLY!" She said, and she slugged him across the face. "THIS IS FOR HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MASTER ROSHI!" She kicked his balls. "THIS IS FOR NOT DYING!" She slapped him hard. "AND THIS IS FOR BEING A PEICE OF SCUM!" She started punching, slapping and kicking him all over. Soon he was unconsious. She rammed his head against the rocks. Fishermen were watching her. "I hate you!" She yelled. "I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" The fisherman tapped on her shoulder. "Um, unconsious men can't hear you, dear." He said. Bulma drop kicked him over the horizon.
"You have to write your will." Vegeta prodded. "Because your going to croak soon. We all know that. So lay some money on me." Akurei groaned. "I;m not going to die. I'm going to live." Vegeta slapped him. "Don't speak of such morbid things!" He scolded. "Call in the lawyer and start writing the will! Your blue 63' Thunderbird car is really cool. Perhaps I could.... Or maybe you'll let me take your energy when you die? Then I'll be stronger and your weakness will be of some good." "You can't take someones energy." Akurei said. "Thats impossible." Vegeta nodded. "Yep, pretty much." Trunks griped as the doctors were putting bandages on his foot. :"Who put cigeratte butts in this child?" The doctor asked. "This is the most reckless and disgusting thing to do! Does she even know who smoked them?" Vregeta shrugged. "I don't know! What do you think I am, Confucious?" The doctor was silent. Vegeta clicked on the news. "Its seems a really hot blue haired lady beat the pulp out of the town beater upper guy!" Said the Civilian. A picture of Bulma talking to the press flashed on. "Yeah! And I punched him and ran him over. He's really meaqn, you know. And he has the worst breath. Anyway, he got my husband in jail, so I just decided I would get some revenge. So I did. How much did you say I'll nbe getting payed for this? $50.00 per press per minute sounds good." She paused while a reporter said something. "Why you cheap sons of Bit--" It cut her off as the Civilian showed a picture of the battered and beaten Piccolo. "It looks like he's coming around" Said the civilian. "Maybe he'll talk to us!" He held a Mike up to Picoolo. "BA BA?!" He said. Then his head dropped again. He was fainted again. Bulma's little money issue seemed to be worked out. "My flying, powerball shooting son and husband coulden't do it, but me, an earthiling could!" Vegeta was getting P*ssed that Bulma was talking credit. He hadn't hurt Piccolo because Piccolo was an old friend. Not that Vegeta really liked him......but there was that knowing him thing. It was hard to kill someone when they were only being mean because they were on a drug withdraw. And alchohal. Vegeta dialed Bulma's cell on his. It rang on the TV. "Oh, thats vegeta!" BVulma said. "G2G!" Bulma the TV taped the conversation. "Hello, Bulma? Stop talking to those press people right now! We're at the hospital. Come on." Bulma shook her head. "Vegeta, I'mc getting payed out the @$$ for this! I don't have to work for a month if I'm on herte for just half an hour! So come on, just a little longer." "Okay." Vegeta said. "Fine." Bulma bid her usuall love yous and goodbye and Vegeta hung up, still P*ssed beyond man's repair. Trunks kciked his foot and a bloody bandage hit the doctor in the face.
Later, Vegeta,Bulma and Trunks were happily at home. "I still have 5 days of my vacation left." Vegeta said. He had really started to enjoy the vacation now that he and Rex were such good freinds. "So I'm leaving! Bye!" He was about to fly off but Trunks grabbed him. "Daddy, let me just show you what happens when you go away." He said. "Number one, Green men go nuts. And number two--" They flew to the top of the stairs and he opened the door to his room. Vegeta was horrifyed! His son's brain was being warped by sheeps, birds and giraffes! All in pastel baby colors, as well! "Bulma!" Vegeta said. "What were you thinking?!" She looked so guilty Vegeta almost decided to drop the whole thing. "I just thought that it was bad for his health to shoot his parents and freinds with fake spears." Vegeta was really mad. "He's a little boy! Little boys need boyish toys or they'll grow up sissys or queers! Bulma, Bulma, Bulma....." He shook his head. "I don't see whats so wrong with it." Bulma said. "They're just lambs. Cute little lambs." "No, DEAR." Vegeta said sarcasticly. "I will show you a SHEEP. These are freakin puffy cloud things!" He flew through the window and was back about 3 minutes later. He had a baby lamb in his arms. "THIS is a sheep. THAT is not a sheep." Trunks saw the lamb. It had a blue ribbon and bell around it's neck. "Oh, how cute Vegeta!" Bulma said. She hugged the baby lamb. Her face was buried in its fur. "Its not cute." Said vegeta, disgusted. "It has no way of defending itself. I could snap my fingers and Rex would eat it up!" Bulma hugged it and kissed it. Vegeta was jealous. "I'm taking it back." He said as Trunks joined in on the charade. "But daddy!" Trunks said. "I want to keep it! It's so cute!" "ITS NOT CUTE! Its getting more kisses from my wife than I get in a month, and from here it looks like there's considerably more tongue involved!" Bulma was offended. "I'm not french kissing this lamb." Bulma said. "I only french kiss people and fish." Vegeta decided to let that comment slide. "I didn't mean you were french kissing it! I meant you were licking it! Thats one good thing you did for me! At least you usually keep your tongue in my mouth and not all over my face." Bulma was sad. She stopped kissing the lamb. "If you decide not to go tonight, then..." She said. vegeta rolled his eyes. Trunks was hugging the lamb. "I want to keep this lamb." He said.
"LAmbs poop! They smell! They can't be trained!" The lamb walked over and peed on the newspaper. "And they're smart alecs!" Vegeta added. "Just let him keep the stupid lamb." Bulma said. "No." Said Vegeta. " You have a romantic interest in this lamb." Bulma slapped the lamb. "No I don't. Let him keep the lamb so he'll shut up." Trunks was crying and hugging the lamb. He took out a marker and wrote 'Mustard'on the bell. "Mustard. Thats his name." Trunks giggled. He liked Mustard. "OKay, you can keep Mustard." Vegeta sighed. Trunks hugged Vegeta's legs. "Thank you daddy! Me and Mustard will be so happy!" Rex stepped into the room. Vegeta was hoping he would maul Mustard and get it over with, But Rex just sat down by Vegeta's feet and stared at Mustard. He was scared of Mustard.
"Thanks for letting Trunks keep Mustard." Bulma said to Vegeta in their room. She was brushing her hair (Not that she has much of it. Keep in mind, she has her Buu saga haircut in this story) and pushing her cuticles back while Vegeta played Tug of War with Rex. They were using a sock. Rex stopped and jumped up on the table with the mirror where Bulma was doing her stuff. He put his paws on it and barked. "Get this nasty smelly breath animal out!" She said. "Go put it in Goku's room. It's his dog." Vegeta hugged Rex. "It's my dog." Bulma shook her head."No. We can't have a dog! They're messy and ugly and they have bad breath. Or we can't have one this big, Vegeta. I'll get you a nice Chiwawah. (You know, those small yappy dogs? Can't spell it. Somebody tell me how) Vegeta hugged Rex. "No! It's mine. I won't let you take rex away from me just because your attracted to a lamb!" "What does a lamb have to do with it?" Bulma asked. Then she put on a night gown and they put Rex in the hall and maybe I should stop writing about them right now so they can do their stuff in peace.
Trunks was laying in his room all by himself in his bed with Mustard. Mustard kept making a weird sound going 'BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" And Trunks didn't like this sound one bit. But he liked Mustard alot. But There was one problem. Whenever Trunks was around Mustard, he always had this huge urge to sneeze. And he thought he felt his eyes swelling up.
Vegeta was awake at 1:00 AM. He had spasificly waited until Bulma was asleep because he needed to go on a mission. He sat up in bed and saw that the time was just right. Then he looked over at Bulma. She was perfectly sound asleep. He was sure he could get away with it if he was quiet. He slowly pulled himself out of bed and got dressed. It was raining outside, so he put on a big black raincoat that looked like a trashbag. But as he stepped across the room and to the window, a board in the floor made a long creak. Vegeta scowled and cursed the floor as Bulma turned around. He felt sure that when her hand flopped over in her sleep and he wasn't there she would almost certainly wake up and ask where he was going. Her hand searched for him in her sleep........and she didn't wake up. She rolled over. Vegeta let out the breath he had been holding and hovered up and prepared to fly out the window. But just as he reached it............"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!?" He turned around. Bulma was still fast asleep. But Chi Chi was in the doorway. "Shut up!" Vegeta ordred. "Your gonna wake her up!" Vegeta stepped out of the room. "Whats your problem?" he asked her. "Do you want me to get caught?" Chi Chi nodded. "Your sneaking out to go screw some......some....Victoria's Secret Model, aren't you?! Is that what your up to?" Vegeta rolled his eyes. "No, they all have squished noses or thin hair." He said. "I think I'll pass. And your not supposed to even be walking down this hall. You guys' rooms are in the other wing!" Vegeta was getting P*ssed. "Well I heard the floorboards creak. I thought, 'it might be bedsprings' but then I thought that you might be trying to leave, and I was right! Boy was I right!" She kept on ranting and ranting and flapping her lips unil Vegeta knocked her out. A big purple ugly ghetto bruise appeared on her head. He thogut she looked kinda like a man. Then Goten came. "I heard you knock out mommy!" He said. "An so I came down and--" Vegeta knocked him out. Then came Goku. "Kakarott, don't make me have to knock out your whole family." Goku went out right the way he came. Then Vegeta entered his room. He hovered over the floor and to the, window. All the sudden-- "OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" Came Bulma's girlish squeal. "OH! SunofaB*tch.......................................OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" She screamed again. "Whats wrong?" Vegeta asked. Her eyes popped open. "An ant bit me." She sobbed. Shge smashed a little red fire ant. "Where were you going to so late?" She asked with a yawn. Vegeta debated on weather he should knock her out or not. But he coulden't bring himself to do it. "No where. Just don't worry about it; I'll be back." Bulma nodded and went back to sleep. Then Vegeta left to go see his favorite Kiddy Clown do tricks.
Vegeta loved the clown's tricks. Or he had loved it. Now he was at home back in bed. He was reading a book called ' Animal Farm' and eating some potato chips. He wasn't really understanding the words, though. He was worried about Akurei in the hospital and whether Piccolo was in a place he coulden't get out. Vegeta was probley the only one who knew just how powerful Piccolo was. At one time he had been the second strongest being on earth, that is before Vegeta started his training and became so strong. If Piccolo decided he wanted to, he could train up to be stronger than Vegeta and blast his @$$. Suddenly, Bulma started talking in her sleep. "There's treasure...." She said. Treasure? Vegeta thought. "Isn't that a bunch of gold and money?!" Bulma rolled to where she was facing him. Vegeta watched her talk. She was slurring her words as she said, "The Treasure is Buried outside." She looked dead, which was strange. Vegeta listened carefully, staring intently at her pretty face. "It's buried underneath Rex's doghouse." Bulma concluded. Then she threw her hand weirdly. "It hasss...money." She said as a final adjustment, and then she lay quiet. "Why thank you, Bulma." Vegeta said. "Thanks for the great advice!" Vegeta gave Bulma a kiss on the mouth and went to get his shovel.
It was dawn by the time Vegeta was finished. He had dug a 5 foot hole, but no treasure. And the soil was strange and hard as if it had never been dug in before. "Darn that woman!" Vegeta said. "Her lousy sleep talking sent me on a wild goose chase!" He threw the shovel at their elderly neighbor, Gerald. It hit Gerald in the face and then banged into his palm tree. (He had a palm tree in his yard) Geralds ugly black dog growled at Vegeta. Vegeta blasted it's leg off. Then it shut up. Vegeta stormed in the mouth and took a long drink of water. Bulma was eating a bagel aqnd reading a woman's magazine. Trunks was playing with Mustard in the floor. "Why are YOU all dirty?" Bulma asked, with a mouth full of bagel. She had a strange smile on her face. "Last night you sleep talked about some treasure under Rex's doghouse. I went outside and dug for this so called 'treasure' and there was nothing. You sleep talking isn't very accurate." Vegeta took a large drink, and Bulma bursted out laughing. "I wasn't asleep." She said. "What?" Vegeta asked. "I wasn't asleep. I told you there was treasure under Rex's doghouse to send you on a wild goose chase." Vegeta was angry. "But WHY?!" He asked. "WHY?!" Bulma pointed at a picture in the paper. There was a picture of Vegeta asking for a kiddy clown's autograph."You were the only person over 6 not in the parents section." Bulma laughed. She thought it was pretty funny. "It's not funny!" Vegeta growled. "That's my favorite clown!" "Thank god you didn't pick a prono clown." Trunks said suddenly. "Iv'e heard about those. They come to adult parties and do weird stuff." Vegeta scowled. "I don't know who told you about these adult clowns." "You did." Bulma and trunks said at the same time. Vegeta blushed. "I-Iv'e gotta go get the paper." He ran outside quickly to hide his embarassment. But when he picked up the paper, something very large and painful hit him right in the back of the head. It hitr him so hard his face was buried in the mud. He plucked his face out and looked up right into the snotty nose of Piccolo. A drop of snot hit him on the forehead. "GAH!" He said, startled. He wiped his head on the ground. "What do You want?" He asked. "I'm going to read my paper. Go away." It was that moment he remembered the events of yesterday. He sent a powerful blast right into Piccolo's face, who did 5 soumersaults backwards and hit the fence. Now was Vegeta's chance to finish Piccolo off or permanently disable him. He aimed a Big Bang at Piccolo. Then Gerald stepped on the scene. "Hit Piccolo, or Gerald?" Vegeta thought. It was a tough decision. "Piccolo. No, Gerald! No....." He thought some more. "Gerald." He hit Gerald with a big bang, and he flew right back into his own yard. Then he aimed a blast at Piccolo. A Golagon Fire, or something like that. "Please don't!" Piccolo begged. "I can change, I promise I can! " Vegeta stared at Piccolo. "Trunks, come out here!" Vegeta called. Trunks and Mustard romped at Vegeta's side. "Whats wrong, daddy?! Oh, it's Piccolo." "I want you to test your Burning Attack on Piccolo." Vegeta was so guilty about beating up Piccolo, he decided to get his son to do it. Trunks did as he was told. Piccolo's arm was shattered and burned. Piccolo screamed and blasted off. "I'll be back!" He called as he flew away. "Nice job, son." vegeta said, and he put his hand on Trunks head. Then he saw Mustard. He was a plump little lamb. Plump and healthy. Plump and healthy and he looked mouth-wateringly good. Vegeta began to drool as he stared at Mustard running. The Lamb's )O-So-good looking legs pumped, and Vegeta coulden't take it anymore. He pulled out a knife and spoon and started chasing after the lamb. "Dad!" Trunks said. "What are you doing?" vegeta tried to sink the fork in Mustard's thigh. The animal Bleated and kicked. Right in Vegeta's face. A big red hoofprint made itself known, and when vegeta snorted, there was thick red blood. "I'm bleeding!" He said. "My dose! OW!" Bulma came outside and saw the blood leaking from Vegeta's face and splashing to the ground. She grabbed her hankercehif and held it to Vegeta's nose. "What happened?" She asked. "Was Piccolo here and he hurt you?" Vegeta shook his head. "Yes and Do." He said, and he snorted. "Don't do that!" Bulma said, and she shuttered. "He did come but he didn't hurt my dose." Vegeta said. "Dat lamb Mustard kicked me in dah dose." He blew his nose on the now soaking hanky. His nose was becoming swollen. Mustard was cowering in the corner. "We're eating lambchops donight." Vegeta said, sounding all stuffy. Trunks hugged Mustard. "No!" He wailed. "Mother, don't let him eat Mustard!!" Trunks, Bulma and Vegeta(And Mustard, too) went back inside the house. Rex ran up to Vegeta and put his paws up on his knees. Vegeta petted Rex's head and threw the ball for rex. It bounced off Bulma's expensive vase, which crashed to the floor. Goku was in the kitchen eating an orange. The orange's fresh smell was in the kitchen. Then Bulma walked in. As soon as the smell of the orange hit her nose, she began sneezing and her eyes began itching. "Goku! I cannot-Achoo!-Be around-Achoo!-Oranges because I'm-Achoo!-Allergic to them! Achoo!" She rubbed her running nose. "What's that, Bulma?" Goku asked. He walked over with the orange in his hand. "Rubbing an orange in my face always help clear out the vocal cords!" He said. Those were the last words before Vegeta and Trunks heard Bulma's ear splitting scream and they ran in the kitchen. Goku was rubbing an orange in Bulma's face! Vegeta grabbed the orange and threw it to Rex. "You stupid@$$! She's allergic to oranges!" A purple and orange rash was breaking out all over Bulma's face.
about 45 minutes later, Bulma didn't look so good. Her face was covered with a puffy purplish red rash. Her eyes were swollen shut and watering. Her nose was running and she kept sneezing. The rash was spreading to all parts of her body. Vegeta handed her a glass of water. "Gosh, you look strange." Vegeta said. "You look like a totally different woman." He was silent then. "What do you mean by dat?" Bulma asked, then sneezed. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. Vegeta sat down on the edge of the bed. "You don't look as pretty." He said. "Right now you look not very pretty at all." For some STRANGE reason that Vegeta didn't quite know, Bulma began to cry. "I know, I look like a monster!" She said. "An ugly monster!" She sobbed. Vegeta patted her on the back. He gave her a tissue. "Not like a monster." He corrected. "Just not as pretty as you did look." "Hand me a mirror." Bulma demanded. "Now, Bulma..." Vegeta said. "I don't think seeing a mirror is the best thing right now--" Bulma grabbed a mirror and gazed upon her once beautiful face at the horrible things that covered it. The swollen eyes, the runny nose, and the purplish red rash. It was now all over her hands and legs, too. "I;m going to GET Goku for this." Bulma growled. "If it's the last thing I do." She slammed the mirror down on the nightstand so hard it shattered. "Um, read a book." Vegeta said. "Sometimes it makes me feel better if I'm mad. Especially if It has alot of sweareeing or revenge getting in it. I just imagine I'm the person swearing or getting revenge and it takes the feelings away. Here, I'll read a passage from a book." He looked through his bookcase and pulled out I know what you did last summer."Here's the passage." Vegeta started, then he cleared his throat. "My mother isn't either."Bud said. "She's in a darned sight worst condition than your mother. I have an account to settle with the four of you, but it hasn't all worked out the way I planned. You're the most important one, though. You're the one who made a joke of it by sending flowers." Vegeta stopped. "And then it goes on to tell of a gruesome attempt to kill. Tears were running down Bulma's montrous face. Then she heard a noise. "Did you...HEAR that?" She asked. She stuck a finger in her ear and twirled it, then listened again. "No....I didn't hear any-- THUMP!!!!!!--Thing? Oh wait, I guess I just did." Rex was barking outside and it sounded like he was trying to bite someone. "Go look outside."Bulma said. Suddenly someone swung the door open as fast as they could and landed right in the middle of Bulma. It was Trunks. "Mommy I heard somethig outside my window. There's someone on my swingset." "That's crazy talk!" Vegeta said. "It could be Goten! Did you think about GOTEN?!" Trunks shook his head. "But it's not. Goten went to the zoo. This person was so big I could hear it bumping." "Maybe you should see who it was." Bulma said. "We just bought that swingset last Christmas." Vegeta got up off the bed. "Fine. But it's nothing." He walked out of the room and Trunks and Bulma waited for something to tell them it was nothing. But They didn't hear anything. Trunks got up. "I'm gonna go see. Maybe Daddy got ate." He floated out the door and to the back door. He slowly turned the knob. He thought that he heard sounds og commotion outside. He was scared.
He had a reason to be scared! The first thing he noticed was that Vegeta was face down on the ground under a swinging swing. Rex was chained up to the fence. And then he raised his eyes. PICCOLO WAS SWINGING! He looked happy and smily. "I don't even think he knwows Daddy is knocked out under here." Trunks thought. "He always told me to stay away from moving swings." He sidestepped slowly in front of the swinging swing. Piccolo's eyes were closed and he was laughing. Trunks extended his hands and braced his feet. Then the swing bashed into his hands and he used all his strength to stop it. Piccolo flew forward and into the tree. Trunks turned around and looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot and red, and he was mad now. He had a can of Gasoline in his hands. He started pouring it all around him and the tree. "What are you DOING?!" Trunks asked. "Your not supposed to play with gasoline." Piccolo pulled out a match. "Oh god your not supposed to play with matches!" Trunks said. "I remember....." *FLASHBACK* Trunks was a small little kid of about 3 and a half. He happily held a box of matches from his daddy's favorite stripping restaraunt. Vegeta and Bulma were bickering in the kitchen, Trunks could hear them. So now was the perfect time to play with what he always dreamed of playing with(Ew that doesn't sound right) He took out a match and struck it against the side. It let up with a orangy yellow glow that Trunks found very pretty. Kitty was underneath him. (Kitty the 1st) Trunks thought the fire was so pretty, he reached out and touched it. "OW!" He yelled, and dropped the match. It landed on the cat, who screamed and yowled. Trunks stomped out the small square of fire beside the cat, who was running all over the yard. "Kitty! Come back so I can fix you!" Kitty ran all around. Trunks' finger was all red and blistery. he popped the finger into his mouth. Thats when Kitty exploded.*END FLASHBACK* By the time Trunks had stopped thinking about the past, Piccolo was getting ready to light the match. Alarms went off in Trunks' head. Even though he was little, he knew what would happen if you put fire on gasoline. Thats how his friend Tommy's suicidal dad set their house on fire. Trunks jumped on Piccolo and they began to wrestle for the match. Piccolo put Trunks' hand, and blood poured out. It wasn't that deep though. So Trunks applied a punch to Piccolo's mouth, knocking out all his front teeth and one of his pointy fangs. They clattered to the floor. Piccolo was inraged because his teeth were one of his best weapons. He struck the match extremely fast and got ready to drop it. But Trunks grabbed it and threw it behind him blindly. Any place was better than hitting the gasoline.
Later, as Trunks and Bulma sat it the hospital, Trunks thought he was really bad. He didn't mean to! The doctors wheeled in the stretcher with the burned up Vegeta on it. Vegeta growled. "You are SOOOOOOOO dead when I get out of here." Vegeta said. Trunks scratched his head. "Hey, any place is better than on the gasoline." Vegeta struggled to grab Trunks, but practiccly his whole body was a cast. "Stop!" Bulma said. "The more you move, the more likely you are to have scars. I dont want to sleep with a man who has scars all over him." She shuttered. "They said they could give me surgery to get rid of any scars." Vegeta rasped. "Now let me cut off Trunks' head." Trunks knew Vegeta didn't mean it, but he was still scared. "I always Told you not to play with matches!" Vegeta said. "Since you were three, and you exploded Kitty the 1st. I spent weeks cleaning off the side of the house. But NO! Everything I tell you goes in one ear and out the other." He wiggled in all the casts. "STOP it." Bulma said. Her rash's and stuff was totally gone by now, but she was still cranky. "These casts are stupid looking. They make me look like...like I'm weak!" Trunks hopped up on the bed with his dad. "Yes....Yes now your in perfect strangling range..." Vegeta said. "VEGETA, If you move in those casts I'm going to snatch you bald!" Bulma snapped. He lay perfectly still, but he glared at Trunks. "Let's watch the TV." Trunks said. He clicked on the TV with the remote. It was on the news channel, and they saw a familier face. Piccolo! Trunks gasped. "Daddy, with you in the hospital, what are we going to do about Piccolo?!" Vegeta wiggled. "I'm going to bust out of this joint and blast off his ears." Bulma slapped Vegeta right on the cheek. "STOP WIGGLING!" He stopped. Blood leaked from the bruns where she had slapped him. "Sorry, Honey." Bulma said, and she began to wipe it off. It was nasty. Piccolo, on the news, was terrorizing Toys R Us. "Thats my favorite store!" Trunks said. "We have to do something." He looked out the window and saw smoke rising from the all-too-familier store. "Come on, daddy!" Trunks said. He tugged on Vegeta's mass of casts. "Leave me alone, brat." He snapped. "I'm going to sit here and enjoy not being able to do anything while I can." Vegeta closed his eyes. Trunks jumped out the window and began to fly. He decided to go and get Goten from the zoo to help him out. So he headed in that direction.
The zoo was a smelly, ugly place full of animals who were bleating and hollering as circus masters and people abused them. Trunks decided not to focus on the animals, but on Goten. Goten and his parents were gazing at the tiger pin. "Cool, daddy! Woulden't you just totally FLIP if he bursted through the wires and ate you?" Goku shrugged. "Yes, just absolutly FLIP." He said sarcasticcly. Trunks landed and began tugging on Goten's arm. "What is it, Trunks?" Goten asked, annoyed. "We're on A Family trip." It was Goten's 5th birthday today. Trunks 6th brithday was next week. "We have to go stop piccolo from destroying the Toy R Us." Goten's eyes got wide. "He's destorying the Toys R Us? No kidding!" Goten began hovering. He powered up to Super Saiyan. So did Trunks. They flew toward the toy store, which was by now bursted into flame. Piccolo was carrying some lady's baby in the crook of his arm and laughing. "My baby!" The lady screamed. "Will somebody please tell him to make my baby's death slow and painful?!" Trunks and Goten decided to ignore her comment and PRETEND like she wanted her baby back. Trunks and his freind flew up to confront Piccolo. "Piccolo, what do you have to say for yourself?!" Trunks asked, furious. "I have nothing to say." Piccolo said, and he dropped the baby. Its screams got softer as it went down, a bit of a releif for Trunks. But Goten, on instinct, zipped down as fast as he could and caught the child. It ceased its screaming and stared at Goten peculiarly. Goten floated down and handed the child to it's mother, who didn't look to thrilled. She stalked off into a female stripping club. "Goten, get up here!" Trunks shouted. Him and Piccolo were in a punching round, and Trunks was using the best of his wits and training to avoid them all. But he wasn't trained more than Piccolo. Piccolo zipped around to the back of Trunks and applied a punch to the back of his head which sent him flying down to the ground. He hit his head and skidded about 50 feet with his face ingraved in the pavement. "Ow." Goten said. "That looks like it hurt." Trunks jumped up, powered up and zipped back to join the fight again. He caught Piccolo in the side of the face with a kick, but it didn't knock him out of the air. It just knocked him flying about 100 yards. Piccolo growled and zipped forward, punching Trunks about 50 times. When Trunks was wavering back and fourth and about to fall, Piccolo Used a Special Beam Cannon to knock Trunks out of the air. He flew 70 feet down to the ground and busted his head wide open. "Uh oh." Goten said. "Trunks is stronger than me, and he coulden't do it! But I have to try!" He powered up as high as he could and flew over to Piccolo. He tried yo punch clumsily, But Piccolo moved his head slightly and punched Goten square in the nose. he flew into a building and was knocked out on impact.
Vegeta and Bulma were watching this on the news. "Oh great, our son's a weakiling!" He said. "He coulden't beat up PICCOLO, of all people." Vegeta was trying to hide that he was worried about Trunks. "What are we going to do?" Bulma asked. "You can't get out of bed or you'll have scars." Vegeta groaned.
"We need the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!" Goten said to a woozy Trunks, who was struggling to stand. "They could beat Piccolo. I mean, bam, bang boom, and he'd be dead." Piccolo landed right in front of Goten. Goten put his hands together. "You come one step closer and I'll Kamehameha your @$$." Trunks let the vulgar language pass. "Yeah, you stupid green bafoon with a nasty butt crack! You ruined my mother's best shoes and caused me to throw a match on my daddy!" Trunks powered up. "Now It's OUR turn to stick something up your @$$!" Trunks blinked behind Piccolo and applied a swift kick to Piccolo's already bruised buttocks. he screamed in agony and whipped around to grab Trunks, but He blinked around front and kicked him right in the face. Goten joined in and threw an energy wave. It hit Piccolo's side and caused a large hole in the clothing, but barely broke the skin. "You have to use stronger attacks than that." Trunks said. "This guy used to be the second strongest person in the world, so says daddy." Goten nodded, and used Kamehameha. This knocked Piccolo out of the air. Trunks made a sign language 'b' and hoped he could use the attack his father had been pushing to teach him for so long. He gathered up all his power and did his father's classic Big Bang. It worked, but wasn't as strong as his father's. Piccolo screamed as his arm was blown off. AS you DBZ fan's know, Piccolo can regenerate any body part he loses. So as he struggled to regenerate, Trunks and Goten shot him with a barrage of power blasts. Some of the weaker ones bounced off, but most of them hit Piccolo in painful places. He screamed and yelped. When the two children were totally out of energy, they waited until the smoke cleared to see if Piccolo was going to be dead or alive. They gulped as the smoke cleared. It was almost clear, and-- That was the ladt thought they had before Piccolo blinked behind them and knocked them out.
Bulma was horrified. "Vegeta, our kid and his friend are out of energy!" She said, breathing hard. "They can't fight back like that! We have to help!" She hiked open the window. "Bulma, do you really think you can help at all? Your of the human race. You can't do anything. With Akurei gone, and Krillin being a misanthrope(Look it up, pal) and Goku burnt to a solid peice, there's nobody. Our son is as good as........" Vegeta trailed off. "Dead.....Your right, Bulma, go. I'll just sit here in all these rediculous casts and watch TV. He wiggled. "If you wiggle one more time I'll do to YOU what I want to do to Piccolo!" Vegeta stopped wiggling. It wasn't worth it. "Just get outta my sight." Said an angry Vegeta. She ran out the door. Since she coulden't fly, she would have to run all the way. She was P*ssed because Vegeta was being so mean. But, she was going against his wishes and he was very worried probley. But still, his little coment had stung.