Chapter 11
Diaclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or anything else copyrighted in this story. Im simply not that stupid.
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Vegeta stared at the TV unblinking as they tracked Bulma running across the city. She wasn't very fast, even though she was waring her rather worn out leather boots she wears on the show. She ran like a girl. (Watching girls run, even MYSELF on video tape never ceases to make me laugh, we just run so funny)But Vegeta was really mad because she had defied his wishes. The camera flashed back to Trunks and Piccolo and Goten. Piccolo had Trunks and Goten backed into a corner. They were breathing hard and not even attempting to gather a powerball because all the small boys' energy was gone. Vegeta prayed Bulma would get there in time, but he doubted Piccolo would even FEEL her kicks. Then he started to get worried when he thought about how WEAK she was. And it didn't help his worries when Goku walked in with two cokes from McDonald's. "Hey, Vegeta!" He said. He handed him a coke. Vegeta took a drink. He was thinking hard. "What's wrong?" Goku asked. vegeta nodded in the direction of the TV. "Gee, is that BULMA?" Goku asked. "I'll bet the camera man is just taping her to watch her bounce, so to speak." Vegeta slapped Goku. "Can't you see? She's on her way to fight Piccolo." Goku was cluless as usual. "Why do you want to fight Piccolo? Isn't he good?" Vegeta slapped his forehead. "He was until he went crazy with drug and alchohal withdrawls!" Vegeta's first thought was that if he didn't get out of this bed to fight, Bulma and Trunks were as good as dead. But then he remembered his terrible burns. His second thought was that Kakarot could go and fight Piccolo. But Goku's energy level had been decreased from being burnt, and his muscles were all stiff from being in that wheelchair, and he hadn't trained for MONTHS, so his senses were all dull. And it wasn't easy to ask someone to fight who you almost burned to death. Than Vegeta got an idea. "Kakarott!" He said, sitting up so suddenly all his burned extremity's jolted. He winced. "What is it?" Goku asked. "I'm watching Bulma run, for the same reason the camera man probley is." Vegeta slapped Goku again. "You pervert! I need you to do that finger flashy thingy to go get Dende." Goku was puzzled. "Finger Flashy? I don't have an attack called 'finger flashy'. Goten might, but--" "No, I'm talking about that......one where you put the fingers on your head and you go places? I can't remember the name." A lightbulb switched on in Vegeta's head. "Instant Transmission. I think thats it!" Goku nodded. "Yeah. Thats it. To Dende? And bring him here, right?" Vegeta nodded. "Yes, where else....?" Goku instant Transmitted out of the room.
When Goku got to the lookout, Dende and Mr. Popo were drinking wildly and watching X rated adult movies. Goku was puzzled, but he still snuck a peak or two at the X-rated movie. "Um, Dende?" He asked, watching the TV. Dende turned around with half opened eyes. "Whadda you want?" He asked, getting up. He swayed vilontly back and forth, so he thought he was going to fall. He caught the couch and steadyed himself. "I need you to come back with me." Goku said, staring at the TV. Dende walked over. "Sure, whatever." He was still weaving. "Are we going, or what?" he asked. Goku was still. "Just wait till this part's over." He said.
Goku and Dende blinked right into Vegeta's room in about 10 minutes. "What took you so long?" Vegeta snapped. "I was waiting! Bulma's almost there!" Trunks and Goten were busy avoiding blasts from Piccolo. "We were watching an X-rated film." Goku said. "A really nice part." Vegeta wiggled. "Dende, get over here and heal me." Dende waddled over. " No can do. I can't heal anybody with a good heart." Goku looked at him akwardly. "You got it backwards, Dende." Dende shrugged and waddled over to Vegeta. He held his hands over his burned face. "Make sure you don't leave any scars or Bulma will leave me." He instructed meanly. "Now hurry." Vegeta was so badly hurt that it took at least two minutes for the healing to be complete. He looked good as new, but still wearing the hospital gown. "I can't fight in casts and a hospital gown." Vegeta said. He started slinging his arms around trying to get his casts off. But they woulden't come off. Then he started kicking his legs. But to no prevail. They were stuck tight. He ki blasted his leg, and the cast shattered. Unfortunatly, so did his leg. "OW!" He cried. Of course he could fight with a broken leg, Hell, he'd fought with both of them broken. But it wasn't comfortable in the LEAST. Dende coulden't heal anything else for 30 minutes, but Vegeta coulden't wait that long. So he'd have to fight with this broken leg. He buzzed the nurse with the red button. "What is it?" She asked, coming in. She eyed one of the casts on the floor and the burnless Vegeta. And there was a green guy in the room. "Whats going on?" She snapped. "Your seriously hurt! I have to get that cast on! Your leg is shattered!" She ran over to re apply it. "Thats just the thing. I need them off." The nurse shook her head. "No! Your hurt BAD." Vegeta pointed to the TV. "Thats my WIFE on there. My SOULMATE. I can't sit in here." The nurse shrugged. "I don't care." It flashed to Piccolo. "And now I'm seeing green people on TV and in here." Vegeta was so mad he jumped out if bed. But he stood on one foot so he woulden't further injure his broken leg. He snatched the cast saw from the nurse and began hacking at his casts. "Thats not how you do it." Goku said. "Your going to cut yourself." Vegeta ignored him and hacked until he got one of the arm casts off, leaving a deep red gash. Then he hacked off the other two, leaving DEEPER gashes. Now he had four gashes and a broken leg. Owch. He bursted through the ceiling, nevertheless.
Vegeta got to Bulma just as she was about to kick Piccolo. He grabbed the back of her dress. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Your all better." She looked him up and down. "But your wearing a hospital gown!" She was disappotined, because a hospital gown wasn't near as form-fitting as spandex. "Yeah well my clothes are at home." Vegeta said. He blasted at Piccolo, and it hit his head. He didn't seem to notice because he was cornering Trunks and Goten. "I guess I'll go and stop him from hurting our son!" Bulma said, and she ran up to Piccolo. She bounced off him and scratched him with her long fingernails. "Hey ugly!" She said. "You leave my son alone!" Trunks flushed. "Mother, your embarrasing me!" Piccolo blasted Bulma backwards, but Vegeta flew over and caught her before she hit a skyscraper. That would have turned her into human guts. "Hi, Vegeta." She said, dazed. "That was painful." She shook her head and stood up. "But I'll show him! Rude green man!" As she started running forward, about 30 girl civilians ran up. "Hello, Mr.!" They gushed. "Whats your name and are you single?" They were brushing all up against Vegeta. A pretty blond broad was close to his face. "No, but I sure wish I was." Vegeta powered up and sent them flying. "Why are they bothering me?" Vegeta growled, flying up beside Bulma to go help. "Because your freakin hot, I guess. Piccolo's about to kill Goten." Trunks had his head buried in the sand in the ostrich I-cant- see-you-you-cant-see-me fashion. And Piccolo wasn't bothering him. Vegeta flew over and grabbed Goten. "Kakarott, come get your little brat!" He yelled into one of the newscasters cameras. "He's only getting in the way." As he was distracted, Piccolo camu up behind Vegeta and punched him down. Vegeta winced as he tried to keep his @$$ from grinding into the ground. He landed firmly on his broken leg, and felt two bones grind together painfully. He gritted his teeth so hard they almost broke. "Are you alright?" Bulma asked, helping him up. "Maybe you would like some lemonade?" Vegeta nodded, seeing this as a way to get rid of her for a little while so she wasn't inm the way. "Some lemonade would be peachy keen. Now hurry up; Im really thirsty." Bulma ran into a McDonalds to get some Minute Maid lemonade. Vegeta flew up. When the pressure was reasleased from his leg, it hurt just as bad or worse as it had when he smashed against the ground. There was a painful spot where Vegeta suspected the bone was on the verge of poking through his skin. But he didn't have time to think about that now. About 2 minutes later, Goku wheeled up, grabbed his son and wheeled off. Vegeta barely noticed. Trunks waddled over to Vegeta. "Um, Daddy, can you fight Piccolo for a few moments while I look for something?" He asked. It sounded very important to him. "Trunks, whatever you need to find cannot possibly be more important than this. I thought I had tought you about priorities." Trunks shook his head. "You did teach me about Prie-Or-i-Teez, but thats not what I meant. See, I might have something that I can use to--" Vegeta waved him off. "Fine, fine, just hurry before he kills me." Vegeta flew out to Piccolo. "Hey ugly!!" Piccolo looked at Vegeta. "Excuse me?" He said. "It's not nice to call people ugly. Especially insane people." Vegeta stuck out his tongue and made the dork symnbol. "Well.......In case you haven't noticed, I don't have a reputation for being nice." Vegeta glanced over at Trunks, who was digging through his huge cargo pockets. He rolled his eyes.
Piccolo punched Vegeta on the top of the head. It hurt really bad, because when Vegeta landed his broken leg bent in two ways. He screamed loudly as he looked at the damage. His leg was swollen so bad his spandex were ripping, and it was all lumpy and misshapen. It was hanging on a hinge it looked like, and Vegeta had no control over what it did. Vegeta took out a pocket knife and had to CUT off his boot and leg of his spandex. they were squeezing the broken leg. Piccolo came over and SBC'd him in the leg. His leg hurt so bad already he barely felt it. So he flew up and decided to kick Piccolo(With his good leg of course) but when he did, Piccolo grabbed his broken leg and swung him around by it. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta screamed. Bulma came out of the restaruant with lemonade. "OMG!" She gasped. She ran up and kicked Piccolo squarly in the back of the head. Trunks was still searching through his pockets. "Nickles.....Dimes...." He hummed as he pulled everything out. "Lemon drops, bear food, quarter, stickers.........." He ate a lemon drop. Then he put his hand in his other pocket. There were like 7 GameBoy games and a gameboy, and a cell phone he stole from the guy next door, and one of Vegeta's man magazines, and some fingernail polish because he liked the smell, a pocket knife, a dry erase marker....." But he still coulden't find it! Piccolo was beating the crap out of Vegeta and Bulma. Trunks almost fainted at the sight of blood, a trait that Vegeta tried to train him out of. He looked at Vegeta's leg which was misshapen and ugly and purple, and Bulma was too scared to do anything. Trunks took out some bandaids. He flew over and put a bandaid on Vegeta's leg. Vegeta didn't say anything. "Hurry up!" He snapped at Trunks. Trunks put his hand in his pocket and he felt something. It was something hard and big and sharp! It was what he was looking for! He pulled it out. Vegeta stared at it. "Is this your big plan?" He asked. "THIS? Why, your not even supposed to HAVE this!" Vegeta tried to swipe it away from Trunks, but he moved his hand. Trunks flew over to Piccolo. Bulma looked at Trunks with disbeleif because she had strickly banned him from having these! Trunks didn't care though. He pointed General Mustard(Remember his action figures Bulma squished? Well, she missed one)at Piccolo, and pushed the red button that launched the spear. It hit Piccolo right in the temple, and he fell down down down all the way down and hit a rock. Trunks stared as his green skin exploded with a rock coming through. A big string of purple blood hit Vegeta right across the face. "EW!" He said, and wiped it off. He rubbed it on Bulma's shoe. She was fainted because she didn't like blood. Vegeta hovered up and looked at Piccolo's damage. "Whoa." He said. "Trunks--" Trunks was crying. "My spear fell into the lake after it hit Piccolo's head." He didn't care that Piccolo was dead. He just wanted his spear back. Vegeta picked up Bulma over his shoudler. "Get Piccolo!" He screamed at Trunks. "And stop crying! It makes me sick." Vegeta didn't like tears, and Bulma didn't like blood. Trunks hiked Piccolo over his shoulder. They decided to fly them to the hospital.
"Its all your fault he went crazy." Vegeta said to Bulma. "If you hadn't locked him in the linen closet, then all this woulden't have happened." Bulma shook her head. "No, its YOUR fault. All this is somehow linked to your liking books." Vegeta hung his head. "But at least I like something productive." A doctor was putting a cast on Vegeta's leg. But Vegeta didn't think he should bother because he was sjust going to have Dende heal it later. Vegeta said he wanted a blue cast. He liked blue. Bulma wanted him to get purple. Trunks wanted him to get a red one. But Trunks was busy crying over his spear. Piccolo was groaning in the ER while they tried to patch up a huge hole in his chest. After Bulma had came around with smelling salts, she got out of her hospital bed because nothing was wrong with her. But they didn't want to visit Piccolo. He would probley be mad because Trunks put a hole through him. Vegeta got down off the table after the doctor was done putting the cast on. It was hard and uncomfortable. He coulden't move his leg. "This is stupid!" He exclaimed. "Now I have to fly everywhere." The doctor looked at him funny. "Fly.............. Okay." He was writing down a report for Dr. Fagface to see because that was Vegeta's doctor. Vegeta didn't like Dr. Fagface. "We need a new doctor." He griped as he hovered out of the office and into the waiting room. "Let's leave!" Trunks said. "Mustard is hungry!" So they decided to leave.
Well, it turns out that Piccolo almost died. The rock had erupted through 2 different organs--the lungs, and his heart. But in a stroke of luck, the doctors managed to repair the damage. But this paragraph isn't about Piccolo. It about Vegeta. anyways, Vegeta had just called Dende over to heal his leg. He was tired of having a jbig bulky cast on his leg. Bulma told him that last night while they were in bed, Vegeta kicked like he usually did in his sleep and the cast stubbed her toe. She had alot of brusies, so to speak. "Hurry up, stupid!" Vegeta said, conking Dende on the head. "The game's on! Hurry it up!" He conked him again. Dende was having trouble healing Vegeta because he was being conked on the head. Trunks was playing with Goten. "Stop conking Dende on the head." Bulma said. "He's trying his best." DEnde shook his head. "You know that's not true." "Maybe you need to be the one with exploded organs." Bulma said. Then she walked out to go and fold clothes. She usually did that when she was upset. I don't know why she was upset, though. Maybe she got in a fight with her mother. Vegeta's leg was all healed! "YAY!" He shouted, and blew Dende against the wall. Dende groaned and scampered out. Goku came in. "That stupid lamb ate my training clothes!" He whined. Trunks hit Goku with a ki blast. "Don't call Mustard stupid." He said. "Good trunks." Vegeta said. "You've been trained well!" Goku humphed and walked out. He was upset. "I'm tired!" Trunks whined. "Goten, Go away. I'm going to bed." Goten grabbed Trunks' arm. "Nuh uh! If you go away your daddy might die of his broken leg!" Trunks flew up the stairs and into his room. "I'm tired too." Bulma yawned. "I'm going to bed." Goku came back with two beers. "Ready to watch the game, Vegeta?" Vegeta nodded. "Sure." "When your ready, come up to bed." Bulma told Vegeta. "Goodnight. I love you." Vegeta nodded as she kissed him goodnight and then looked at the TV. The football players were running out onto the feild. The players were the Dallas Cowboys and this other team. They were wearing green uniforms. "Oh!" Goku said, and he sat on the couch with the beer. He opened it with a *pst* and then he said something. "What is that green team called?" He asked. Goku squinted at the bottom of the screen. "The.........uglyhunchbacks." He said. Vegeta made a weird face. "Thats absurd. Who would want their team to be called the Uglyhunchbacks?" Goku shrugged. "I dunno. Them I guess." Vegeta stared as the Cowboys and they made a touchdown. "Yes!" Vegeta said. "I told you they are going to win. I TOLD YOU." Goku scoffed. "No, You dont even like the cowboys. You said that after watching the last game.' 'i didn't even get to WATCH the last game. Me and Bulma were.....' he searched for a way to say this right-having some fun. but thats none of your buisness. The point is.....I was right and you were wrong. say it, Kakarot."Goku rolled his eyes. "Fine. But that doesn't change the fact that your team sucks." They argued all night until the game was over. The Unglyhunchbacks won.
The next day, Vegeta Bulma and Trunks went to see Piccolo and Akurei at the hospital. Trunks borught balloons and a teddy bear. Bulma brought a paper weight. (LOL) Piccolo looked at the gifts. "Thanks, but what am i going to do with a paperweight? I live in a trash sack, remember?" Bulma hung her head. Vegeta was disgusted. "You aren't going to start refusing paper weights just because of your trash sack." Piccolo looked at his weird. "What are you suggesting, that I live in a box?" Vegeta shook his head. "No! We're going to find you a job, Piccolo. Then your going to buy a house." Piccolo coulden't beleive what he was hearing. "No one's going to give me a job. I'm green, remember? And I'll never be able to balance a budget....Im no mathmetician!" Bulma opened her mouth. "Maybe you could come stay with--" vegeta clapped a hand over her mouth. "No way is he coming to our house. We just got your parents to move out into an apartment, then you let Kakarott move in. We have too many people living with us now." Bulma ripped his hand away. "But Goku and his family's house will be finshed being built in a week! Let him stay!" vegeta looked at Piccolo, who was giving puppy doggy eyes. "NO!" Vegeta said. "Too many people live with us. We'll never get any privacy." "For god's sake, dad, we live in a house with 7 bathrooms." Trunks said. "It's not like you'll ever SEE Piccolo." But Vegeta still refused. "Piccolo has to learn to stand on his own two feet. And in order to do that, you have to get a job and get a house." Bulma rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Vegeta! You can't even stand on your own two feet! You have to get me to do everything! Even put on your shoes!" Vegeta was embarrased. "Its....it's not manly to put on your shoes." "BullSh*t." Bulma said. "Thats not true." Vegeta shrugged. "It is in my book. Plus, that isn't relevant to what we're talking about. Tomarrow, when Piccolo is out of here, he wiull get a job."
"Why do you think Piccolo will get a job?" Bulma asked as they were walking down the hall toward the cafeteria. Trunks was in the room with Akurei. "He's right, you know, he is green. No company is going to want a green guy working for them. The public might think he looks a little strange." Vetetas shrugged. "So? Who cares what the public thinks? All I know is he's not living with us. we don't get enough privacy as it is." Vegeta went into the cafeteria and Bulma followed. "But then again, the only type of job he could get with no schooling are like......McDonalds or something. and a McDonalds pay isn't going to be good enough to handle a household." Vegeta grabbed an ice cream cone and licked it. "Like I said, thats not our problem. We have bigger things to worry about. Your trying to run a company, here, and you barely get any time to work because you have to take care of me and the boy. Piccolo's a DRUG ADDICT for christ's sake. You'll have to run a nursing home in order to meet his needs. And that means you woulden't go to work, and that means no spending money for us. Unless you wanna take up a second job as a whore." But had to admit he had a point. But she wondered how lonmg it had taken him to come up with that speech. Bulma got a venilla ice cream and they sat down. "Maybe we could get him a job as a Capsule Corp employee? he woulden't have to stay at our house. he could stay with mom and dad until he had enough money to buy an apartment." Vegeta shook his head. "No, Capsule Corp people have to be normal looking or people aren't going to want to buy your cars and capsules." "True." Bulma said. they just coulden't think of anything Piccolo could do where he woulden't be seen. "Maybe he could be a magician." Bulma said. "They wear a mask most of the time. And Piccolo has enough of his own hocus pokus! He'd make alot of money." She thought a little more. "Hey! YOU could make alot of money as a magician! You can move things with your fingers." Vegeta groaned. "I am NOT becoming a magician.After all, this is about Piccolo." Bulms thought. 'You don't have to see people to become a telephone operator." "If Piccolo was a telephone operator, and they needed the number to a dating service, he'd tell them to get a life." Vegeta observed. Bulma nodded. "Yes, I guess your right that he would." They coulden't think of anything. Then Bulma got an idea. "Dating service! That's right!" Vegeta looked at her weird. "What are you saying?" Bulma grabbed Vegeta's hands so he would listen. he had a short attention span. "If we find Piccolo a woman, it would set him straight!" Bulma said. "You were a loud slob before you met me! I know this will help set Piccolo in the right direction!" Vegeta laughed. "Me and you fought like cats and dogs when we met. Remember that one time I flew you up and dropped you? I caught you, of course but it scared you awful good." Bulma was getting annoying. "Well, we got past it and so will he." Vegeta shook his head. "The only reason we got over it was because we had to LIVE together so I could train in the gravity room. And if he moves in with a girl he barely knows, like I did, it may result in a kid, like two certain people that we all know." Bulma growled. "That was a mistake. But we ended up getting married, and Trunks would be here anyway." Vegeta admitted she had a point. "But if we had waited it might have been a girl." Vegeta had really wanted a girl. "Shut up. This isn't our time to work out our problems. We're putting an ad for Piccolo in the paper." "Oh, alright." Vegeta sighed.
"Single Handsome male seeks attractive, slim woman. needs guidance in his life for past drug habits. Im very good looking, love animals and have a since of humor. I have the power. Literally. I have a freind who can grant any wish you want. Call Piccolo." Vegeta read from the paper. "Bulma, did you mention that he was GREEN?!" Vegeta asked. Bulma shook her head. "No girl is going to call if it says he's green." Vegeta groaned."No girl is going to STAY! Hello, Bulma, you have to mention these things." She rolled her eyes as the phone rang. Vegeta picked it up. "Vegeta speaking." He said. "State your name and whatever or whoever the hell you want." "I wish you woulden't answer the phone like that." Bulma mouthed. A girl was on the phone. "I'm looking for Piccolo? He had an ad in the paper. Single Handosome male seeks--" "Shut up. I'm getting him." Vegeta threw the phone out the window, and Piccolo picked it up. "Hello?" He said, trying to act smart and spohistecated. "Hello." Said the girls voice. Bulma, Trunks and Vegeta were listening on the other phone."Im Spohie! Is this Piccolo?" "Yes." Piccolo said. "Are you the attractive, slim woman?" "Yes!" The girl said. They talked a little about their personal lives. Two hours later, she asked the big question. "Is there anything your not telling me about yourself before we set up a date?" Sophie asked. Piccolo cleared his throat. "Um, no. Nothing at all." They set up a date Friday at 7:00 at the movies. "Let's go and follow them." Vegeta said. "They might get hot and heavy at the movies!" Bulma slapped that poor Vegeta. "No! We're going to give them privacy. And on the second date........We'l follow them and watch them and make them wish they were never alive." Trunks gave a weird look. "Okay, mother, but the last part......" "Yeah, scratch the last part." Vegeta said.
It was Friday at seven. Piccolo had made Bulma and Vegeta dress up specialy for this night. They all waited in anticipation. then the doorbell rang. "You know what to do, Trunks." Piccolo told the kid. He straightened his tie, and walked to the door. he opened it. There stood.................A monstrosity. She was blonde and ugly, with horrible acne and a smashed nose. Her eyelashes here short and her cheekbones were dull. Even the bit of makeup she had on coulden't hide her borish features. her ponytail was bumpy and her lipstick was uneven. She had a visible love handle around her stomach in which she wore a tight dress; her shoes were scuffed and her toes were too big. Her ears seemed to jut out of her head. "hello, it's Sophie!" She said. "Your such a cute young man." Trunks winced as he escorted her into the room. Vegeta ran and hid behind Bulma. "it's going to be alright....." She told Vegeta. She wished she was the one hiding. "Um, hello, I'm Bulma." Bulma stammered. She pointed at Vegeta. " And this is my lovely and handsome husband Vegeta." She took trunks' hand. "And this is our son, Trunks." Trunks managed a meek wave. "He's so cute!" Sophie said, and she pinched Trunks' cheek. he fought back the urge to punch out her lights. "Where's Piccolo?" Sophie asked. "Surely Im not supposed to go out with your husband." "NO!" Vegeta shouted. he came out of his hiding. "But you really are handsome." Sophie tried to get close to Vegeta, and he blasted her against the bookcase. She honked. "I only get involved with PRETTY ladies." He said. "Be polite!" Bulma said. "Or at least.....try your best." Vegeta stomped away. "Come along, Trunks. You woulden't wanna catch her PIMPLE sickness." He and Trunks walked out, and Piccolo walked in. "hello, mr. Green man. You must be their slave. I'm looking for Piccolo." Piccolo looked hurt. "I AM Piccolo."
It was 12:00 midnight. They were wating for Piccolo to get back home so he could tell them how his night went. Then the door slowly opened. Piccolo walked in. "HOw did it go?" Bulma asked. "Did you get in her--" Bulma stopped Vegeta. "It went fine." Piccolo said, sadly. "Just fine." he went into his room. "Oh, he looked sad." Trunks said. "That means he got REJECTED." Vegeta said. "I can recognize the face of rejection anywhere. He was too GREEN for that ugly broad." Bulma and trunks felt bad for Piccolo. But vegeta didn't. Then the phone rang again. "hello?" bulma asked. 'Hello, this is Mildred." Said a really ugly, honky voice. "W-what is it?" Bulma asked. "Do you want to speak to piccolo or Trunks or vegeta?" 'Piccolo.' The voice honked. "Sure." Bulma said. Piccolo took the phone. "Hello? It's Piccolo." Said Piccolo.
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They had talked on the phone for about 3 hours. When Piccolo got off, he said they had a date for tomarrow at 7. "Okay." Bulma said. "She sure did have an ugly old voice, for someone who is supposed to be pretty." She had a weird look on her face. "She's 26, has two kids and their dad ran out on them." Piccolo said. "She wants a man to help her take care of her two kids. I figure if she already has two kids at 26, she must be pretty awsome, if you know what I mean." Bulma nodded. "Yes, I do." She didn't want to talk about it. "What does she look like?" Trunks asked. "Did she say?" Vegeta was standing in the corner. "Is she another pimply, fat ugly heifer?" Piccolo shook his head. "She told me she admits she has a rather large nose, and big feet too. But I think I can live with that." Vegeta stepped out of his dark spot. "You have to learn that you only accept perfect or better." He said.
It was tomarrow at 7. They were all waiting again, but they hadn't bothered to pretty themselves up. They wore the average clothes and spoke the average language, because they were expecting average. Or lower, of course. Last time they had been ecpecting PRETTIFUL. But they had gotten garbage rank. Sweat was running down Piccolo's face. He hoped it wasn't another Sophie. Then, the doorbell rang. "Who should answer the door?!" Trunks asked. "I can't; I have ketchup on my face!" He wiped at his face. "I can't, I'll seem like an overacheiver!" Bulma said. "I can't, Im her date." Piccolo said. "I can't. I don't want to." Vegeta said. "Go on, Vegeta." Bulma said. "Open the door." He stepped toward the door, silently cursing to himself in Namekian. He'd spent hours learning all the Namekian cusswords so when he cussed in the house Bulma woulden't yell. He turned the knob. There was a beutiful lady. She had blond hair and blue eyes, and she was really skinny. It was obvious she had money because of her Pratashoes and her purse. "Hello, I'm looking for Piccolo." She said in her terrible voice. Vegeta stared at her low-cut dress. "Excuse me?" Said the girl, getting cross. "Im looking for PICCOLO." Vegeta snapped out of it. "Oh, uh, I'm Picco--" Bulma smacked him in the head with a newspaper. "Piccolo's right in here." She said. "Come in and sit down." She cussed at Vegeta while she tried to sit Mildred down at the table. Trunks was shy so he was hiding under the table with Rex. Piccolo came from around the corner. "Hello, I'm Piccolo." He said. Mildred looked pretty suprised, that you could tell. But she tried to be polite. "Um, hello, I'm Mildered." She said. They shook hands. "We'd better get going." Piccolo suggested. She nodded and they stepped out the door.
"This sucks balls." Vegeta groaned. "They get to go out and have fun, and we're stuck to sit in the house." Bulma and Trunks were reading books. Trunks was reading a kiddy one and Bulma was reading 'Cujo' by Stephen King. Vegeta had been reading the book 'Night Shift', but he was too busy thinking about Piccolo to read. "How many times have we gone out and left Goku or Piccolo to take care of Trunks?" Bulma asked. "It has to be 20 at least." Vegeta just picked up his book and started reading. But it was really hard to read without his glasses. But without them, he felt so liberated! And with them on, he felt like a nerd. So he decided not to put them on. He tried to read someore. But the words were so blurry and they all blended together. "Bulma, where's my glasses?" He asked, squinting at the page. When he looked up, it was all blurry because he had been concentrating on the words. "They're over there." She said, pointing. The look on her face suggested someone had just gotten killed. She was all greenish. "I tried to fix them, I think I did a good--" She ran into the bathroom really fast. "Wow!" Trunks said. "Can I see what Mommy was reading?!" He picked up the book. Vegeta decided to let him read it so he would learn his lesson. It took Trunks awhile because he had recenly learned to read. "Wow." he said. "THIS is what adult books are like." He had just read the passage where Cujo is killing Gary and he is ripping his throat out and his arm off. "Let me see that." Vegeta said, and he grabbed the book. He struggled to read it without the glasses. "Oh. I remember this part." He said. "Its pretty gross in the movie, too." He threw the book back into Bulma's chair when she came out. She was still green. "I don't think all that violence is necessary." Vegeta thought she was wimp. Then, the door opened. Piccolo was standing there in the rain. His face was in the darkness. he looked really scary. "What happened?" Trunks asked. "Did you get REJECTED?" He went to take Piccolo's coat, but it was in shreds."Sort of." Piccolo said. Vegeta laughed. "How can you be SORT OF rejected? You obviously were, so spare us the details." Piccolo shook his head and came into the light. Bulma and Trunks gasped. Vegeta bursted out laughing. He was one giant bruise from head to toe. "What happened to you?" Bulma asked. "Are you alright?" She grabbed a rag and put it on his eye. Vegeta tried to talk through his laughs. "Was she*Giggle* really strong*Giggle* and she was Cell's *Giggle* sister?" Then he laughed harder. "No." Piccolo said. "She said we could be together if I allowed her to abuse me for being green." His pointy ears drooped. "Maybe we should call Dende to heal you Piccolo." Trunks said. Piccolo shook his head. "Give me a few hours to wallow in self pity." He went to his trash sack. "I feel bad for Piccolo." Trunks said. "No one likes him." Bulma shook her head. "Thats not intirely true." She said. "But we need to set him up on a date so everyone will like him!" "How will that work?" Trunks asked. "We already tried." Bulma started looking through her photo album. "We need a picture of Piccolo so no one will date him unless they don't mind him being green. That means he has a lower percentage of being rejected! Its totally brilliant!" Vegeta came over. "No one is going to call." He said. "Would YOU date a green man? I certainly woulden't date a green girl." Bulma stayed quiet and flipped through the photo album. There was a picture of baby Trunks trying to grab a butterfly, and of Trunks with the Chicken Pox. Then there was some of her and Vegeta and Dende, then Mr. Popo and Goku. The pictures she had of Piccolo were all either drunk or yelling. She flipped to her and Vegeta's wdding pictures. Piccolo was in a tuxedo, but he was still drunk. She closed the photo album. "Nope. They're all drunk. They all have bloodshot eyes or a yellow complexion." She pulled out another photo album. There was a really old picture Vegeta used to keep in his wallet of a chibi Vegeta. he was like 8 or 9. Then there was a picture of Bulma. Then there was a picture of Bulma's mom and dad, then Bulma's mom and dad's pets. Then a picture of baby Goten then one of Trunks at 3 years of age. She flipped to the back. There was a picture of Piccolo when he was in the Freiza saga. He looked young and didn't have many wrinkles. He wasn't drunk or on drugs. This was a first! She ripped it out. "Perfect!" She screamed. "But that's not current." Vegeta said. "Your lying to the press." Bulma shrugged. " So? They won't care." She glued the pic on a peice of paper and wrote the ad. Then she put it in an envolope and sealed it up.
It was 3 days later. Piccolo didn't know that Bulma put an ad in the paper like that. He was giving up hope they assumed because he always sat in the trash sack and cried. A couple of times Vegeta had to throw a steel toed boot at him to make him shut up. But it didn't always work. One day when it was windy, the phone rang. Trunks answered it. "Hello? This is Trunks. Who is this?" "This is Lauren." "Who's Lauren?" "Someone looking for Piccolo." "Who's Piccolo?" Vegeta snatched the phone. "Give me that!" He snapped. "Hello?" There was a pause." Hello? This is Lauren and I'm looking for Piccolo." "Piccolo?!" Vegeta said. "You don't want that helpless bum. You can do much better. He doens't have a dime to his name and he lives in a trash sack! Save yourself and hang up!" Lauren was laughing. "Great joke. Now give the phone to Piccolo." Vegeta gave the phone to Piccolo and went in the kitchen to bug Bulma while she cleaned the kitchen. "Hello. This is Piccolo. I dont have a dime to my name and I live in a trash sack. Hang up now and save yourself." To Piccolo's amazement, she wanted to talk still. "I saw your green. I think that's really interesting." "She put a Picture of me?" Piccolo said. "yes." Said Lauren. "And Im not green." They had a long, healthy conversation. Then they set up a date for Friday at seven.
Piccolo was really nervous about this one because he knew she already knew he was green. That upset him for some reason.
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That's the end of chapter 11. In about 5 chapters, Im going to end part one of this story and go into part 2, I think. It won't be under any other label on Fanfiction.net, it will just be labeled Ch.1 Part 2 and ch. 2 Part 2 and so on. They won't have any fun names. The second part is pretty much the same except Bulla is born on that one(Bulla is that Vegeta and Bulma's daughter....she's the little blue haired girl on the last few episodes of Dragonball z. The one who calls Vegeta Papa.)
Diaclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or anything else copyrighted in this story. Im simply not that stupid.
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Vegeta stared at the TV unblinking as they tracked Bulma running across the city. She wasn't very fast, even though she was waring her rather worn out leather boots she wears on the show. She ran like a girl. (Watching girls run, even MYSELF on video tape never ceases to make me laugh, we just run so funny)But Vegeta was really mad because she had defied his wishes. The camera flashed back to Trunks and Piccolo and Goten. Piccolo had Trunks and Goten backed into a corner. They were breathing hard and not even attempting to gather a powerball because all the small boys' energy was gone. Vegeta prayed Bulma would get there in time, but he doubted Piccolo would even FEEL her kicks. Then he started to get worried when he thought about how WEAK she was. And it didn't help his worries when Goku walked in with two cokes from McDonald's. "Hey, Vegeta!" He said. He handed him a coke. Vegeta took a drink. He was thinking hard. "What's wrong?" Goku asked. vegeta nodded in the direction of the TV. "Gee, is that BULMA?" Goku asked. "I'll bet the camera man is just taping her to watch her bounce, so to speak." Vegeta slapped Goku. "Can't you see? She's on her way to fight Piccolo." Goku was cluless as usual. "Why do you want to fight Piccolo? Isn't he good?" Vegeta slapped his forehead. "He was until he went crazy with drug and alchohal withdrawls!" Vegeta's first thought was that if he didn't get out of this bed to fight, Bulma and Trunks were as good as dead. But then he remembered his terrible burns. His second thought was that Kakarot could go and fight Piccolo. But Goku's energy level had been decreased from being burnt, and his muscles were all stiff from being in that wheelchair, and he hadn't trained for MONTHS, so his senses were all dull. And it wasn't easy to ask someone to fight who you almost burned to death. Than Vegeta got an idea. "Kakarott!" He said, sitting up so suddenly all his burned extremity's jolted. He winced. "What is it?" Goku asked. "I'm watching Bulma run, for the same reason the camera man probley is." Vegeta slapped Goku again. "You pervert! I need you to do that finger flashy thingy to go get Dende." Goku was puzzled. "Finger Flashy? I don't have an attack called 'finger flashy'. Goten might, but--" "No, I'm talking about that......one where you put the fingers on your head and you go places? I can't remember the name." A lightbulb switched on in Vegeta's head. "Instant Transmission. I think thats it!" Goku nodded. "Yeah. Thats it. To Dende? And bring him here, right?" Vegeta nodded. "Yes, where else....?" Goku instant Transmitted out of the room.
When Goku got to the lookout, Dende and Mr. Popo were drinking wildly and watching X rated adult movies. Goku was puzzled, but he still snuck a peak or two at the X-rated movie. "Um, Dende?" He asked, watching the TV. Dende turned around with half opened eyes. "Whadda you want?" He asked, getting up. He swayed vilontly back and forth, so he thought he was going to fall. He caught the couch and steadyed himself. "I need you to come back with me." Goku said, staring at the TV. Dende walked over. "Sure, whatever." He was still weaving. "Are we going, or what?" he asked. Goku was still. "Just wait till this part's over." He said.
Goku and Dende blinked right into Vegeta's room in about 10 minutes. "What took you so long?" Vegeta snapped. "I was waiting! Bulma's almost there!" Trunks and Goten were busy avoiding blasts from Piccolo. "We were watching an X-rated film." Goku said. "A really nice part." Vegeta wiggled. "Dende, get over here and heal me." Dende waddled over. " No can do. I can't heal anybody with a good heart." Goku looked at him akwardly. "You got it backwards, Dende." Dende shrugged and waddled over to Vegeta. He held his hands over his burned face. "Make sure you don't leave any scars or Bulma will leave me." He instructed meanly. "Now hurry." Vegeta was so badly hurt that it took at least two minutes for the healing to be complete. He looked good as new, but still wearing the hospital gown. "I can't fight in casts and a hospital gown." Vegeta said. He started slinging his arms around trying to get his casts off. But they woulden't come off. Then he started kicking his legs. But to no prevail. They were stuck tight. He ki blasted his leg, and the cast shattered. Unfortunatly, so did his leg. "OW!" He cried. Of course he could fight with a broken leg, Hell, he'd fought with both of them broken. But it wasn't comfortable in the LEAST. Dende coulden't heal anything else for 30 minutes, but Vegeta coulden't wait that long. So he'd have to fight with this broken leg. He buzzed the nurse with the red button. "What is it?" She asked, coming in. She eyed one of the casts on the floor and the burnless Vegeta. And there was a green guy in the room. "Whats going on?" She snapped. "Your seriously hurt! I have to get that cast on! Your leg is shattered!" She ran over to re apply it. "Thats just the thing. I need them off." The nurse shook her head. "No! Your hurt BAD." Vegeta pointed to the TV. "Thats my WIFE on there. My SOULMATE. I can't sit in here." The nurse shrugged. "I don't care." It flashed to Piccolo. "And now I'm seeing green people on TV and in here." Vegeta was so mad he jumped out if bed. But he stood on one foot so he woulden't further injure his broken leg. He snatched the cast saw from the nurse and began hacking at his casts. "Thats not how you do it." Goku said. "Your going to cut yourself." Vegeta ignored him and hacked until he got one of the arm casts off, leaving a deep red gash. Then he hacked off the other two, leaving DEEPER gashes. Now he had four gashes and a broken leg. Owch. He bursted through the ceiling, nevertheless.
Vegeta got to Bulma just as she was about to kick Piccolo. He grabbed the back of her dress. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Your all better." She looked him up and down. "But your wearing a hospital gown!" She was disappotined, because a hospital gown wasn't near as form-fitting as spandex. "Yeah well my clothes are at home." Vegeta said. He blasted at Piccolo, and it hit his head. He didn't seem to notice because he was cornering Trunks and Goten. "I guess I'll go and stop him from hurting our son!" Bulma said, and she ran up to Piccolo. She bounced off him and scratched him with her long fingernails. "Hey ugly!" She said. "You leave my son alone!" Trunks flushed. "Mother, your embarrasing me!" Piccolo blasted Bulma backwards, but Vegeta flew over and caught her before she hit a skyscraper. That would have turned her into human guts. "Hi, Vegeta." She said, dazed. "That was painful." She shook her head and stood up. "But I'll show him! Rude green man!" As she started running forward, about 30 girl civilians ran up. "Hello, Mr.!" They gushed. "Whats your name and are you single?" They were brushing all up against Vegeta. A pretty blond broad was close to his face. "No, but I sure wish I was." Vegeta powered up and sent them flying. "Why are they bothering me?" Vegeta growled, flying up beside Bulma to go help. "Because your freakin hot, I guess. Piccolo's about to kill Goten." Trunks had his head buried in the sand in the ostrich I-cant- see-you-you-cant-see-me fashion. And Piccolo wasn't bothering him. Vegeta flew over and grabbed Goten. "Kakarott, come get your little brat!" He yelled into one of the newscasters cameras. "He's only getting in the way." As he was distracted, Piccolo camu up behind Vegeta and punched him down. Vegeta winced as he tried to keep his @$$ from grinding into the ground. He landed firmly on his broken leg, and felt two bones grind together painfully. He gritted his teeth so hard they almost broke. "Are you alright?" Bulma asked, helping him up. "Maybe you would like some lemonade?" Vegeta nodded, seeing this as a way to get rid of her for a little while so she wasn't inm the way. "Some lemonade would be peachy keen. Now hurry up; Im really thirsty." Bulma ran into a McDonalds to get some Minute Maid lemonade. Vegeta flew up. When the pressure was reasleased from his leg, it hurt just as bad or worse as it had when he smashed against the ground. There was a painful spot where Vegeta suspected the bone was on the verge of poking through his skin. But he didn't have time to think about that now. About 2 minutes later, Goku wheeled up, grabbed his son and wheeled off. Vegeta barely noticed. Trunks waddled over to Vegeta. "Um, Daddy, can you fight Piccolo for a few moments while I look for something?" He asked. It sounded very important to him. "Trunks, whatever you need to find cannot possibly be more important than this. I thought I had tought you about priorities." Trunks shook his head. "You did teach me about Prie-Or-i-Teez, but thats not what I meant. See, I might have something that I can use to--" Vegeta waved him off. "Fine, fine, just hurry before he kills me." Vegeta flew out to Piccolo. "Hey ugly!!" Piccolo looked at Vegeta. "Excuse me?" He said. "It's not nice to call people ugly. Especially insane people." Vegeta stuck out his tongue and made the dork symnbol. "Well.......In case you haven't noticed, I don't have a reputation for being nice." Vegeta glanced over at Trunks, who was digging through his huge cargo pockets. He rolled his eyes.
Piccolo punched Vegeta on the top of the head. It hurt really bad, because when Vegeta landed his broken leg bent in two ways. He screamed loudly as he looked at the damage. His leg was swollen so bad his spandex were ripping, and it was all lumpy and misshapen. It was hanging on a hinge it looked like, and Vegeta had no control over what it did. Vegeta took out a pocket knife and had to CUT off his boot and leg of his spandex. they were squeezing the broken leg. Piccolo came over and SBC'd him in the leg. His leg hurt so bad already he barely felt it. So he flew up and decided to kick Piccolo(With his good leg of course) but when he did, Piccolo grabbed his broken leg and swung him around by it. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta screamed. Bulma came out of the restaruant with lemonade. "OMG!" She gasped. She ran up and kicked Piccolo squarly in the back of the head. Trunks was still searching through his pockets. "Nickles.....Dimes...." He hummed as he pulled everything out. "Lemon drops, bear food, quarter, stickers.........." He ate a lemon drop. Then he put his hand in his other pocket. There were like 7 GameBoy games and a gameboy, and a cell phone he stole from the guy next door, and one of Vegeta's man magazines, and some fingernail polish because he liked the smell, a pocket knife, a dry erase marker....." But he still coulden't find it! Piccolo was beating the crap out of Vegeta and Bulma. Trunks almost fainted at the sight of blood, a trait that Vegeta tried to train him out of. He looked at Vegeta's leg which was misshapen and ugly and purple, and Bulma was too scared to do anything. Trunks took out some bandaids. He flew over and put a bandaid on Vegeta's leg. Vegeta didn't say anything. "Hurry up!" He snapped at Trunks. Trunks put his hand in his pocket and he felt something. It was something hard and big and sharp! It was what he was looking for! He pulled it out. Vegeta stared at it. "Is this your big plan?" He asked. "THIS? Why, your not even supposed to HAVE this!" Vegeta tried to swipe it away from Trunks, but he moved his hand. Trunks flew over to Piccolo. Bulma looked at Trunks with disbeleif because she had strickly banned him from having these! Trunks didn't care though. He pointed General Mustard(Remember his action figures Bulma squished? Well, she missed one)at Piccolo, and pushed the red button that launched the spear. It hit Piccolo right in the temple, and he fell down down down all the way down and hit a rock. Trunks stared as his green skin exploded with a rock coming through. A big string of purple blood hit Vegeta right across the face. "EW!" He said, and wiped it off. He rubbed it on Bulma's shoe. She was fainted because she didn't like blood. Vegeta hovered up and looked at Piccolo's damage. "Whoa." He said. "Trunks--" Trunks was crying. "My spear fell into the lake after it hit Piccolo's head." He didn't care that Piccolo was dead. He just wanted his spear back. Vegeta picked up Bulma over his shoudler. "Get Piccolo!" He screamed at Trunks. "And stop crying! It makes me sick." Vegeta didn't like tears, and Bulma didn't like blood. Trunks hiked Piccolo over his shoulder. They decided to fly them to the hospital.
"Its all your fault he went crazy." Vegeta said to Bulma. "If you hadn't locked him in the linen closet, then all this woulden't have happened." Bulma shook her head. "No, its YOUR fault. All this is somehow linked to your liking books." Vegeta hung his head. "But at least I like something productive." A doctor was putting a cast on Vegeta's leg. But Vegeta didn't think he should bother because he was sjust going to have Dende heal it later. Vegeta said he wanted a blue cast. He liked blue. Bulma wanted him to get purple. Trunks wanted him to get a red one. But Trunks was busy crying over his spear. Piccolo was groaning in the ER while they tried to patch up a huge hole in his chest. After Bulma had came around with smelling salts, she got out of her hospital bed because nothing was wrong with her. But they didn't want to visit Piccolo. He would probley be mad because Trunks put a hole through him. Vegeta got down off the table after the doctor was done putting the cast on. It was hard and uncomfortable. He coulden't move his leg. "This is stupid!" He exclaimed. "Now I have to fly everywhere." The doctor looked at him funny. "Fly.............. Okay." He was writing down a report for Dr. Fagface to see because that was Vegeta's doctor. Vegeta didn't like Dr. Fagface. "We need a new doctor." He griped as he hovered out of the office and into the waiting room. "Let's leave!" Trunks said. "Mustard is hungry!" So they decided to leave.
Well, it turns out that Piccolo almost died. The rock had erupted through 2 different organs--the lungs, and his heart. But in a stroke of luck, the doctors managed to repair the damage. But this paragraph isn't about Piccolo. It about Vegeta. anyways, Vegeta had just called Dende over to heal his leg. He was tired of having a jbig bulky cast on his leg. Bulma told him that last night while they were in bed, Vegeta kicked like he usually did in his sleep and the cast stubbed her toe. She had alot of brusies, so to speak. "Hurry up, stupid!" Vegeta said, conking Dende on the head. "The game's on! Hurry it up!" He conked him again. Dende was having trouble healing Vegeta because he was being conked on the head. Trunks was playing with Goten. "Stop conking Dende on the head." Bulma said. "He's trying his best." DEnde shook his head. "You know that's not true." "Maybe you need to be the one with exploded organs." Bulma said. Then she walked out to go and fold clothes. She usually did that when she was upset. I don't know why she was upset, though. Maybe she got in a fight with her mother. Vegeta's leg was all healed! "YAY!" He shouted, and blew Dende against the wall. Dende groaned and scampered out. Goku came in. "That stupid lamb ate my training clothes!" He whined. Trunks hit Goku with a ki blast. "Don't call Mustard stupid." He said. "Good trunks." Vegeta said. "You've been trained well!" Goku humphed and walked out. He was upset. "I'm tired!" Trunks whined. "Goten, Go away. I'm going to bed." Goten grabbed Trunks' arm. "Nuh uh! If you go away your daddy might die of his broken leg!" Trunks flew up the stairs and into his room. "I'm tired too." Bulma yawned. "I'm going to bed." Goku came back with two beers. "Ready to watch the game, Vegeta?" Vegeta nodded. "Sure." "When your ready, come up to bed." Bulma told Vegeta. "Goodnight. I love you." Vegeta nodded as she kissed him goodnight and then looked at the TV. The football players were running out onto the feild. The players were the Dallas Cowboys and this other team. They were wearing green uniforms. "Oh!" Goku said, and he sat on the couch with the beer. He opened it with a *pst* and then he said something. "What is that green team called?" He asked. Goku squinted at the bottom of the screen. "The.........uglyhunchbacks." He said. Vegeta made a weird face. "Thats absurd. Who would want their team to be called the Uglyhunchbacks?" Goku shrugged. "I dunno. Them I guess." Vegeta stared as the Cowboys and they made a touchdown. "Yes!" Vegeta said. "I told you they are going to win. I TOLD YOU." Goku scoffed. "No, You dont even like the cowboys. You said that after watching the last game.' 'i didn't even get to WATCH the last game. Me and Bulma were.....' he searched for a way to say this right-having some fun. but thats none of your buisness. The point is.....I was right and you were wrong. say it, Kakarot."Goku rolled his eyes. "Fine. But that doesn't change the fact that your team sucks." They argued all night until the game was over. The Unglyhunchbacks won.
The next day, Vegeta Bulma and Trunks went to see Piccolo and Akurei at the hospital. Trunks borught balloons and a teddy bear. Bulma brought a paper weight. (LOL) Piccolo looked at the gifts. "Thanks, but what am i going to do with a paperweight? I live in a trash sack, remember?" Bulma hung her head. Vegeta was disgusted. "You aren't going to start refusing paper weights just because of your trash sack." Piccolo looked at his weird. "What are you suggesting, that I live in a box?" Vegeta shook his head. "No! We're going to find you a job, Piccolo. Then your going to buy a house." Piccolo coulden't beleive what he was hearing. "No one's going to give me a job. I'm green, remember? And I'll never be able to balance a budget....Im no mathmetician!" Bulma opened her mouth. "Maybe you could come stay with--" vegeta clapped a hand over her mouth. "No way is he coming to our house. We just got your parents to move out into an apartment, then you let Kakarott move in. We have too many people living with us now." Bulma ripped his hand away. "But Goku and his family's house will be finshed being built in a week! Let him stay!" vegeta looked at Piccolo, who was giving puppy doggy eyes. "NO!" Vegeta said. "Too many people live with us. We'll never get any privacy." "For god's sake, dad, we live in a house with 7 bathrooms." Trunks said. "It's not like you'll ever SEE Piccolo." But Vegeta still refused. "Piccolo has to learn to stand on his own two feet. And in order to do that, you have to get a job and get a house." Bulma rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Vegeta! You can't even stand on your own two feet! You have to get me to do everything! Even put on your shoes!" Vegeta was embarrased. "Its....it's not manly to put on your shoes." "BullSh*t." Bulma said. "Thats not true." Vegeta shrugged. "It is in my book. Plus, that isn't relevant to what we're talking about. Tomarrow, when Piccolo is out of here, he wiull get a job."
"Why do you think Piccolo will get a job?" Bulma asked as they were walking down the hall toward the cafeteria. Trunks was in the room with Akurei. "He's right, you know, he is green. No company is going to want a green guy working for them. The public might think he looks a little strange." Vetetas shrugged. "So? Who cares what the public thinks? All I know is he's not living with us. we don't get enough privacy as it is." Vegeta went into the cafeteria and Bulma followed. "But then again, the only type of job he could get with no schooling are like......McDonalds or something. and a McDonalds pay isn't going to be good enough to handle a household." Vegeta grabbed an ice cream cone and licked it. "Like I said, thats not our problem. We have bigger things to worry about. Your trying to run a company, here, and you barely get any time to work because you have to take care of me and the boy. Piccolo's a DRUG ADDICT for christ's sake. You'll have to run a nursing home in order to meet his needs. And that means you woulden't go to work, and that means no spending money for us. Unless you wanna take up a second job as a whore." But had to admit he had a point. But she wondered how lonmg it had taken him to come up with that speech. Bulma got a venilla ice cream and they sat down. "Maybe we could get him a job as a Capsule Corp employee? he woulden't have to stay at our house. he could stay with mom and dad until he had enough money to buy an apartment." Vegeta shook his head. "No, Capsule Corp people have to be normal looking or people aren't going to want to buy your cars and capsules." "True." Bulma said. they just coulden't think of anything Piccolo could do where he woulden't be seen. "Maybe he could be a magician." Bulma said. "They wear a mask most of the time. And Piccolo has enough of his own hocus pokus! He'd make alot of money." She thought a little more. "Hey! YOU could make alot of money as a magician! You can move things with your fingers." Vegeta groaned. "I am NOT becoming a magician.After all, this is about Piccolo." Bulms thought. 'You don't have to see people to become a telephone operator." "If Piccolo was a telephone operator, and they needed the number to a dating service, he'd tell them to get a life." Vegeta observed. Bulma nodded. "Yes, I guess your right that he would." They coulden't think of anything. Then Bulma got an idea. "Dating service! That's right!" Vegeta looked at her weird. "What are you saying?" Bulma grabbed Vegeta's hands so he would listen. he had a short attention span. "If we find Piccolo a woman, it would set him straight!" Bulma said. "You were a loud slob before you met me! I know this will help set Piccolo in the right direction!" Vegeta laughed. "Me and you fought like cats and dogs when we met. Remember that one time I flew you up and dropped you? I caught you, of course but it scared you awful good." Bulma was getting annoying. "Well, we got past it and so will he." Vegeta shook his head. "The only reason we got over it was because we had to LIVE together so I could train in the gravity room. And if he moves in with a girl he barely knows, like I did, it may result in a kid, like two certain people that we all know." Bulma growled. "That was a mistake. But we ended up getting married, and Trunks would be here anyway." Vegeta admitted she had a point. "But if we had waited it might have been a girl." Vegeta had really wanted a girl. "Shut up. This isn't our time to work out our problems. We're putting an ad for Piccolo in the paper." "Oh, alright." Vegeta sighed.
"Single Handsome male seeks attractive, slim woman. needs guidance in his life for past drug habits. Im very good looking, love animals and have a since of humor. I have the power. Literally. I have a freind who can grant any wish you want. Call Piccolo." Vegeta read from the paper. "Bulma, did you mention that he was GREEN?!" Vegeta asked. Bulma shook her head. "No girl is going to call if it says he's green." Vegeta groaned."No girl is going to STAY! Hello, Bulma, you have to mention these things." She rolled her eyes as the phone rang. Vegeta picked it up. "Vegeta speaking." He said. "State your name and whatever or whoever the hell you want." "I wish you woulden't answer the phone like that." Bulma mouthed. A girl was on the phone. "I'm looking for Piccolo? He had an ad in the paper. Single Handosome male seeks--" "Shut up. I'm getting him." Vegeta threw the phone out the window, and Piccolo picked it up. "Hello?" He said, trying to act smart and spohistecated. "Hello." Said the girls voice. Bulma, Trunks and Vegeta were listening on the other phone."Im Spohie! Is this Piccolo?" "Yes." Piccolo said. "Are you the attractive, slim woman?" "Yes!" The girl said. They talked a little about their personal lives. Two hours later, she asked the big question. "Is there anything your not telling me about yourself before we set up a date?" Sophie asked. Piccolo cleared his throat. "Um, no. Nothing at all." They set up a date Friday at 7:00 at the movies. "Let's go and follow them." Vegeta said. "They might get hot and heavy at the movies!" Bulma slapped that poor Vegeta. "No! We're going to give them privacy. And on the second date........We'l follow them and watch them and make them wish they were never alive." Trunks gave a weird look. "Okay, mother, but the last part......" "Yeah, scratch the last part." Vegeta said.
It was Friday at seven. Piccolo had made Bulma and Vegeta dress up specialy for this night. They all waited in anticipation. then the doorbell rang. "You know what to do, Trunks." Piccolo told the kid. He straightened his tie, and walked to the door. he opened it. There stood.................A monstrosity. She was blonde and ugly, with horrible acne and a smashed nose. Her eyelashes here short and her cheekbones were dull. Even the bit of makeup she had on coulden't hide her borish features. her ponytail was bumpy and her lipstick was uneven. She had a visible love handle around her stomach in which she wore a tight dress; her shoes were scuffed and her toes were too big. Her ears seemed to jut out of her head. "hello, it's Sophie!" She said. "Your such a cute young man." Trunks winced as he escorted her into the room. Vegeta ran and hid behind Bulma. "it's going to be alright....." She told Vegeta. She wished she was the one hiding. "Um, hello, I'm Bulma." Bulma stammered. She pointed at Vegeta. " And this is my lovely and handsome husband Vegeta." She took trunks' hand. "And this is our son, Trunks." Trunks managed a meek wave. "He's so cute!" Sophie said, and she pinched Trunks' cheek. he fought back the urge to punch out her lights. "Where's Piccolo?" Sophie asked. "Surely Im not supposed to go out with your husband." "NO!" Vegeta shouted. he came out of his hiding. "But you really are handsome." Sophie tried to get close to Vegeta, and he blasted her against the bookcase. She honked. "I only get involved with PRETTY ladies." He said. "Be polite!" Bulma said. "Or at least.....try your best." Vegeta stomped away. "Come along, Trunks. You woulden't wanna catch her PIMPLE sickness." He and Trunks walked out, and Piccolo walked in. "hello, mr. Green man. You must be their slave. I'm looking for Piccolo." Piccolo looked hurt. "I AM Piccolo."
It was 12:00 midnight. They were wating for Piccolo to get back home so he could tell them how his night went. Then the door slowly opened. Piccolo walked in. "HOw did it go?" Bulma asked. "Did you get in her--" Bulma stopped Vegeta. "It went fine." Piccolo said, sadly. "Just fine." he went into his room. "Oh, he looked sad." Trunks said. "That means he got REJECTED." Vegeta said. "I can recognize the face of rejection anywhere. He was too GREEN for that ugly broad." Bulma and trunks felt bad for Piccolo. But vegeta didn't. Then the phone rang again. "hello?" bulma asked. 'Hello, this is Mildred." Said a really ugly, honky voice. "W-what is it?" Bulma asked. "Do you want to speak to piccolo or Trunks or vegeta?" 'Piccolo.' The voice honked. "Sure." Bulma said. Piccolo took the phone. "Hello? It's Piccolo." Said Piccolo.
* * *
They had talked on the phone for about 3 hours. When Piccolo got off, he said they had a date for tomarrow at 7. "Okay." Bulma said. "She sure did have an ugly old voice, for someone who is supposed to be pretty." She had a weird look on her face. "She's 26, has two kids and their dad ran out on them." Piccolo said. "She wants a man to help her take care of her two kids. I figure if she already has two kids at 26, she must be pretty awsome, if you know what I mean." Bulma nodded. "Yes, I do." She didn't want to talk about it. "What does she look like?" Trunks asked. "Did she say?" Vegeta was standing in the corner. "Is she another pimply, fat ugly heifer?" Piccolo shook his head. "She told me she admits she has a rather large nose, and big feet too. But I think I can live with that." Vegeta stepped out of his dark spot. "You have to learn that you only accept perfect or better." He said.
It was tomarrow at 7. They were all waiting again, but they hadn't bothered to pretty themselves up. They wore the average clothes and spoke the average language, because they were expecting average. Or lower, of course. Last time they had been ecpecting PRETTIFUL. But they had gotten garbage rank. Sweat was running down Piccolo's face. He hoped it wasn't another Sophie. Then, the doorbell rang. "Who should answer the door?!" Trunks asked. "I can't; I have ketchup on my face!" He wiped at his face. "I can't, I'll seem like an overacheiver!" Bulma said. "I can't, Im her date." Piccolo said. "I can't. I don't want to." Vegeta said. "Go on, Vegeta." Bulma said. "Open the door." He stepped toward the door, silently cursing to himself in Namekian. He'd spent hours learning all the Namekian cusswords so when he cussed in the house Bulma woulden't yell. He turned the knob. There was a beutiful lady. She had blond hair and blue eyes, and she was really skinny. It was obvious she had money because of her Pratashoes and her purse. "Hello, I'm looking for Piccolo." She said in her terrible voice. Vegeta stared at her low-cut dress. "Excuse me?" Said the girl, getting cross. "Im looking for PICCOLO." Vegeta snapped out of it. "Oh, uh, I'm Picco--" Bulma smacked him in the head with a newspaper. "Piccolo's right in here." She said. "Come in and sit down." She cussed at Vegeta while she tried to sit Mildred down at the table. Trunks was shy so he was hiding under the table with Rex. Piccolo came from around the corner. "Hello, I'm Piccolo." He said. Mildred looked pretty suprised, that you could tell. But she tried to be polite. "Um, hello, I'm Mildered." She said. They shook hands. "We'd better get going." Piccolo suggested. She nodded and they stepped out the door.
"This sucks balls." Vegeta groaned. "They get to go out and have fun, and we're stuck to sit in the house." Bulma and Trunks were reading books. Trunks was reading a kiddy one and Bulma was reading 'Cujo' by Stephen King. Vegeta had been reading the book 'Night Shift', but he was too busy thinking about Piccolo to read. "How many times have we gone out and left Goku or Piccolo to take care of Trunks?" Bulma asked. "It has to be 20 at least." Vegeta just picked up his book and started reading. But it was really hard to read without his glasses. But without them, he felt so liberated! And with them on, he felt like a nerd. So he decided not to put them on. He tried to read someore. But the words were so blurry and they all blended together. "Bulma, where's my glasses?" He asked, squinting at the page. When he looked up, it was all blurry because he had been concentrating on the words. "They're over there." She said, pointing. The look on her face suggested someone had just gotten killed. She was all greenish. "I tried to fix them, I think I did a good--" She ran into the bathroom really fast. "Wow!" Trunks said. "Can I see what Mommy was reading?!" He picked up the book. Vegeta decided to let him read it so he would learn his lesson. It took Trunks awhile because he had recenly learned to read. "Wow." he said. "THIS is what adult books are like." He had just read the passage where Cujo is killing Gary and he is ripping his throat out and his arm off. "Let me see that." Vegeta said, and he grabbed the book. He struggled to read it without the glasses. "Oh. I remember this part." He said. "Its pretty gross in the movie, too." He threw the book back into Bulma's chair when she came out. She was still green. "I don't think all that violence is necessary." Vegeta thought she was wimp. Then, the door opened. Piccolo was standing there in the rain. His face was in the darkness. he looked really scary. "What happened?" Trunks asked. "Did you get REJECTED?" He went to take Piccolo's coat, but it was in shreds."Sort of." Piccolo said. Vegeta laughed. "How can you be SORT OF rejected? You obviously were, so spare us the details." Piccolo shook his head and came into the light. Bulma and Trunks gasped. Vegeta bursted out laughing. He was one giant bruise from head to toe. "What happened to you?" Bulma asked. "Are you alright?" She grabbed a rag and put it on his eye. Vegeta tried to talk through his laughs. "Was she*Giggle* really strong*Giggle* and she was Cell's *Giggle* sister?" Then he laughed harder. "No." Piccolo said. "She said we could be together if I allowed her to abuse me for being green." His pointy ears drooped. "Maybe we should call Dende to heal you Piccolo." Trunks said. Piccolo shook his head. "Give me a few hours to wallow in self pity." He went to his trash sack. "I feel bad for Piccolo." Trunks said. "No one likes him." Bulma shook her head. "Thats not intirely true." She said. "But we need to set him up on a date so everyone will like him!" "How will that work?" Trunks asked. "We already tried." Bulma started looking through her photo album. "We need a picture of Piccolo so no one will date him unless they don't mind him being green. That means he has a lower percentage of being rejected! Its totally brilliant!" Vegeta came over. "No one is going to call." He said. "Would YOU date a green man? I certainly woulden't date a green girl." Bulma stayed quiet and flipped through the photo album. There was a picture of baby Trunks trying to grab a butterfly, and of Trunks with the Chicken Pox. Then there was some of her and Vegeta and Dende, then Mr. Popo and Goku. The pictures she had of Piccolo were all either drunk or yelling. She flipped to her and Vegeta's wdding pictures. Piccolo was in a tuxedo, but he was still drunk. She closed the photo album. "Nope. They're all drunk. They all have bloodshot eyes or a yellow complexion." She pulled out another photo album. There was a really old picture Vegeta used to keep in his wallet of a chibi Vegeta. he was like 8 or 9. Then there was a picture of Bulma. Then there was a picture of Bulma's mom and dad, then Bulma's mom and dad's pets. Then a picture of baby Goten then one of Trunks at 3 years of age. She flipped to the back. There was a picture of Piccolo when he was in the Freiza saga. He looked young and didn't have many wrinkles. He wasn't drunk or on drugs. This was a first! She ripped it out. "Perfect!" She screamed. "But that's not current." Vegeta said. "Your lying to the press." Bulma shrugged. " So? They won't care." She glued the pic on a peice of paper and wrote the ad. Then she put it in an envolope and sealed it up.
It was 3 days later. Piccolo didn't know that Bulma put an ad in the paper like that. He was giving up hope they assumed because he always sat in the trash sack and cried. A couple of times Vegeta had to throw a steel toed boot at him to make him shut up. But it didn't always work. One day when it was windy, the phone rang. Trunks answered it. "Hello? This is Trunks. Who is this?" "This is Lauren." "Who's Lauren?" "Someone looking for Piccolo." "Who's Piccolo?" Vegeta snatched the phone. "Give me that!" He snapped. "Hello?" There was a pause." Hello? This is Lauren and I'm looking for Piccolo." "Piccolo?!" Vegeta said. "You don't want that helpless bum. You can do much better. He doens't have a dime to his name and he lives in a trash sack! Save yourself and hang up!" Lauren was laughing. "Great joke. Now give the phone to Piccolo." Vegeta gave the phone to Piccolo and went in the kitchen to bug Bulma while she cleaned the kitchen. "Hello. This is Piccolo. I dont have a dime to my name and I live in a trash sack. Hang up now and save yourself." To Piccolo's amazement, she wanted to talk still. "I saw your green. I think that's really interesting." "She put a Picture of me?" Piccolo said. "yes." Said Lauren. "And Im not green." They had a long, healthy conversation. Then they set up a date for Friday at seven.
Piccolo was really nervous about this one because he knew she already knew he was green. That upset him for some reason.
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That's the end of chapter 11. In about 5 chapters, Im going to end part one of this story and go into part 2, I think. It won't be under any other label on Fanfiction.net, it will just be labeled Ch.1 Part 2 and ch. 2 Part 2 and so on. They won't have any fun names. The second part is pretty much the same except Bulla is born on that one(Bulla is that Vegeta and Bulma's daughter....she's the little blue haired girl on the last few episodes of Dragonball z. The one who calls Vegeta Papa.)