Author's Notes: Yet another departed character I loved! I've never tried to write her before, so I hope it's believable enough.
"Irreplaceable"
Carol Hathaway, R.N
My mother still thinks I am insane. She never liked Doug, not in the years I was with him. She would rather I had married Tag that day, just for the sake of it, and lived a passionless, trapped life the way she had. She resented me for being able to be with the one man who made me happy.
Not one cell in my body has ever doubted that getting on that plane and flying away from Chicago was the right move. He had implored me over and over since he left to come and join him, and why I left it so long before giving in is something I don't understand.
I was trying to be a strong and independent single mother. I was proving my point to the world and working myself into the ground whilst doing it. I tried to pretend that my babies were my world, that my body didn't miss his touch to the extent that it was an almost physical ache. I tried to live without him. But I couldn't. I've never been able to live without him, not from the moment I met him.
Our path to this life we lead today has been somewhat pockmarked. His infidelity, my suicide attempt, my infidelity and his resignation have meant that our relationship has been strained over the years. The most recent bump in road undoubtedly came with the news of Mark Greene's unfortunate death.
Mark Greene. The best man I have ever known. Doug doesn't mind me saying that, for he knows it's true. I often wondered why I could never fall in love with a man as good as Mark. He was the light to Doug's dark, the foil my husband so badly needed on occasions. He suffered – because of us, and from outside sources and he didn't deserve it. I couldn't go to his funeral – Kate was ill – and I regret that. One day when they're old enough to understand, I'll take my daughters to the grave of the greatest man I ever knew. I only hope for now that he's resting in peace, and doesn't take my absence for cowardice.
I know I left misery in my wake when I left. I tried to salve some of his pain, but my soothing words I sense fell on deaf ears. I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't be with him when my heart was in Seattle with the father of my children. He deserved more than that. So, yes, I kissed him. But it was a forced and empty encounter, more to prove I could be physically attracted to another man than anything else. It only served to push me closer towards the decision I was already halfway to making that day.
But from the misery and the heartache has sprung something solid, something irreplaceable. Waking up to Doug, Kate and Tess and the cacophony that is our house in the morning makes me feel more alive than I could ever be by myself. I never thought I'd be contented let alone happy. But life, life's always been out to prove me wrong!
"Irreplaceable"
Carol Hathaway, R.N
My mother still thinks I am insane. She never liked Doug, not in the years I was with him. She would rather I had married Tag that day, just for the sake of it, and lived a passionless, trapped life the way she had. She resented me for being able to be with the one man who made me happy.
Not one cell in my body has ever doubted that getting on that plane and flying away from Chicago was the right move. He had implored me over and over since he left to come and join him, and why I left it so long before giving in is something I don't understand.
I was trying to be a strong and independent single mother. I was proving my point to the world and working myself into the ground whilst doing it. I tried to pretend that my babies were my world, that my body didn't miss his touch to the extent that it was an almost physical ache. I tried to live without him. But I couldn't. I've never been able to live without him, not from the moment I met him.
Our path to this life we lead today has been somewhat pockmarked. His infidelity, my suicide attempt, my infidelity and his resignation have meant that our relationship has been strained over the years. The most recent bump in road undoubtedly came with the news of Mark Greene's unfortunate death.
Mark Greene. The best man I have ever known. Doug doesn't mind me saying that, for he knows it's true. I often wondered why I could never fall in love with a man as good as Mark. He was the light to Doug's dark, the foil my husband so badly needed on occasions. He suffered – because of us, and from outside sources and he didn't deserve it. I couldn't go to his funeral – Kate was ill – and I regret that. One day when they're old enough to understand, I'll take my daughters to the grave of the greatest man I ever knew. I only hope for now that he's resting in peace, and doesn't take my absence for cowardice.
I know I left misery in my wake when I left. I tried to salve some of his pain, but my soothing words I sense fell on deaf ears. I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't be with him when my heart was in Seattle with the father of my children. He deserved more than that. So, yes, I kissed him. But it was a forced and empty encounter, more to prove I could be physically attracted to another man than anything else. It only served to push me closer towards the decision I was already halfway to making that day.
But from the misery and the heartache has sprung something solid, something irreplaceable. Waking up to Doug, Kate and Tess and the cacophony that is our house in the morning makes me feel more alive than I could ever be by myself. I never thought I'd be contented let alone happy. But life, life's always been out to prove me wrong!