Author's Note: This is set after episode 42. So, if you didn't see that, you'll probably not understand this fic. Sango reflects a bit over Miroku. ^_^
Never Asked Me
You are sitting under that tree of yours, lost in thought. I don't have to look at you to know that. In fact, right now I'd do anything but look at you.
That Koharu… I kind of envied her, do you know that? Of course not, how could you? Who would expect such a thing of the tough, distant Sango? The woman who wouldn't let anyone come near her? And yet…
Yet, for just a moment, I envied her. It's strange, but I can't even tell why. Maybe because she is so normal. Living her life in happy ignorance of the things going on around her. If some youkai is to get the Shikon no Tama and destroy the world, she'd only realize it the very moment death hits her. Or maybe it was the way she smiled at you. So full of trust. I think I lost that emotion along with my family, my brother. I will never fully be able to let my life depend on others again.
Or maybe it was that question you asked her, a kid of eleven years, who never forgot you. A question you asked every woman or girl you met along the way, right? Except for me.
Why didn't you ask me, Miroku? Was it because you already knew my answer? A slap in your face at least… but then again, you must have experienced those sometimes. So why?
Was I not worth this question?
I was furious when that thought crossed my mind. It's almost funny, but it hurt so much to think that of all women, you found me to be not good enough for you. Me, who is one of the few who ever saw you without that mask of yours, who knows what you are like when you are completely off-guard. I know the fear that lies behind your confident smile, the loneliness that hides within your eyes.
We share the same uncertainty, you and I. We both are, in our ways, the last of our lines. What is to come after us? Will there ever be someone who cares for us? Or will we perish from this earth without a single tear to be cried for us?
We are alike, Miroku. More than that, we are linked. Sharing the same fate, probably sharing the same death, who knows?
Is that why you didn't ask me? Because I'm something special for you? I almost hope so…
When you started your question, I interrupted you. We both knew the answer you would have gotten. I didn't want to hurt you.
But maybe…
Maybe one day, I'll let you ask me.