Shattered Gem, a csi: miami fanfic

Disclaimer: CSI: Miami does not belong to me. The characters are full of inspiration, intelligence, and intrigue that I can't help but borrow them a short while. I heartily enjoy the show and its premise. The events of this story are mine, but the characters are definitely not.

Author's Note: For b8kworm, the H/C group. Mr. Hathaway, for making me realize I had a talent I was wasting.

Summary: He wondered if she disapproved of his arrival this evening; hopefully not, but he was determined to find out.

Archives: My site. Anybody else, email me. I like to go visiting.

Pairing(s): Horatio/Calleigh

Spoiler: Simple Man

***** ***** *****

Title: Shattered Gem

Author: Laeta
Email: ladylaeta@yahoo.com

Hagen: "Listen, I know you look up to the guy."
Calleigh: "Sure, I do."
Hagen: "I'm just saying, that's a hell of a lonely road he's walking."
Calleigh: "That's why I'm walking it with him."

The disappearing sun cast its unique glow upon the glass and steel of the monochromatic city. It was past closing time for the businesses of day and the city's extravagant nightlife had but a few hours sleep left until the moon rose.

Inside the airy apartment, neither dying traffic nor high-pitched tourist voices floated in to disturb the tranquility. Running water added to the atmosphere lit solely by the sun framed by the un-closed curtains of the large floor-to-ceiling windows.

Yet all this did nothing to wash away the unsettled nature of Calleigh's expression. As she physically pantomimed through the motions of eating and cleaning away her dinner for one, her mind remained hours behind, in the afternoon where she mistakenly dropped it.

That simple conversation scorched through her once again as fatigue danced teasingly at her senses. All she wanted to do was to sleep for the next twelve hours. That way perhaps she could forget that a man had to die on her watch. Regret swept in again via waves as she recalled her words to Hagen that afternoon. Well, good luck trying to forget them.

Yet, strange how relieved she felt once they came out. For the first time to public ears, she had come the closest to admitting the depth of her feelings for the aggravating loner most considered Horatio to be. Twisted alongside with that, she was embarrassed with herself. She had allowed some of her self-control to erode; she had allowed a life to be taken. It did not matter if the victim was another scum of the earth; he was still a victim.

Completed with the day's dishes, restlessness began to cause a fit of flightiness within Calleigh. Too keyed to sleep, she rejected the thought of joining the gyrating bodies of Miami's hotspots. Equally annoying was the idea of walking along moon kissed sand.

Thoughts too scattered to sort, she gratefully thanked the saving knock on the door. Though not expecting a soul, the knock was not a surprise. Somehow she knew he would find his way here, to her. They both knew all his roads ended with her.

Door opened, she took a moment to appraise him. Her heart broke for the hurricane-battered look Horatio wore. Fatigue lined his face, exhausted eyes glittered in the artificial entryway light; Calleigh had the distinct impression he was begging for peace. She wondered how she could bring him such a thing when she needed it herself.

He spoke into the silence first. "May I come in?"

Words reminiscent of Yelena's hours earlier though she did not know it: "Of course. I just finished dinner, but I'm sure there's something here."

Scowling inward at this development of his life, Horatio followed Calleigh into the apartment, taking care to secure the lock after him. Never being one comfortable with another's care, he tried to stop her. "There's no need."

Calleigh did not bother to pause in her aim for the kitchen while turning mock insulted words towards his now still standing, hesitant form. "I don't believe you would come into a Southern girl's home and not intend to eat something." She took a chance and glanced at him. "I also told you once to always make yourself at home here, Horatio."

A chuckle escaped while Horatio, duly reprimanded, shrugged out of his suit jacket, kicked off his shoes, and seated himself at the kitchen table. Hospitality at its finest, the heaped plate presented before him displayed aromas, after a stint in the microwave oven, to whet a waned appetite. As repeated numerous times before, Calleigh rattled off beverage options out of habit before pouring a generous helping of Chardonnay.

Meanwhile, he noted the restlessness unusual to his hostess. It was well hidden, but Horatio was very experienced with the nuances of her behavior. He wondered if she disapproved of his arrival this evening; hopefully not, but he was determined to find out.

Finally settling down, Calleigh joined him at the table. Needing to thank but knowing words would not do, he reached out to touch her hand and received her amazing smile in return. Choosing for the moment to ignore the feelings invoked by a simple smile, he tucked into the meal. Unbidden, astonishment awoke to show him how far inside of him Calleigh lie; he let her give him little glimpses of domesticity. The key here being he loathed to accept what he himself could not offer and unknowingly, he had done just that. Furthermore, it felt natural to yield, to allow her light voice to wash over him as she gradually wove through the events of her day. He chuckled again when she arrived to the effects the vault room had on her that afternoon.

Though not hungry when he arrived, her gentle presence persuaded nourishment into his body and the fatigue worked the wine too fast for comfort. Resolve was beginning to weaken and the strength to stay away, to leave once the night advanced, was flirting at deserting him. He once again registered the domesticity of the meal, the way her voice cured the rents in his spirit, the comfort this routine brought.

He could not remember when or how or why he found himself drawn to Calleigh's door the first few times. She was surprised as he was but always accepted his appearance in cautious stride. Those were awkward times where silence screamed desperately to be filled and conversation difficult. Eventually, he had found courage to disclose he loved the lilt of her voice; so with a pleased light, she took him through the day with her, a routine she continued for his pleasure.

The next memorable nights, he burned with anticipation for little hints from Calleigh that were invitations to a confused heart. These nights, she permitted him to give into his need to care for her and wrap her in yearning arms. Tucking her into bed one late night, he sat beside her and drew careful patterns on her arm wondering what was occurring inside him. Having accepted moving through life alone since his divorce, it scared him to know she looked to him for comfort and reassurance, for safety and companionship.

As he stole out of her bed and into the night, he slipped into his cool bed and dreamed of a future with Calleigh. So real it was, his heart shattered when he woke, lonely and missing her. Then in the pre-dawn darkness, he surrendered the first of three possessions - his heart. He admitted he loved her, craved the remaining sensations of the dream.

Unable to hide the change in him wrought by such a revelation, he tried to stay away, to remember his wariness of love caused by the divorce. Always respectful, he vowed not to hinder to Calleigh's potential by wanting to keep her near; he let her go knowing she would reproach him at some point. Dreading that day, he tried to prevent its arrival.

In the end, all efforts were in vain. Gently applied pressure and Horatio sat in the passenger seat as she drove to parts unknown. She listened with an open heart and mind while the words poured uninterrupted from his lips. Skirting the issue of love carefully, he confessed his apprehension of potentially retarding the progression of her skill as a criminalist.

Then with a single utterance, he was back to sharing his evenings in her company. "Horatio, in all you've said, nothing explains what you're hiding from me. And I think I know you well enough to assume that. I also know nothing, nothing you do will or can ever prevent me from getting what I want in my profession career." Eyes trusting, she gave up the last of her cards. "My personal life, however, probably depends on why you've closed me out."

Even as he applauded the straightforwardness he admired, he had been so sorry that night, with no words left to reveal his heart. When she left him to his own musings, he realized his soul had vacated, opting to remain with the possessor of his heart.

He was brought back to the falling water soothed evening when he felt air brush past him. Calleigh had risen and cleared away his used dishes. Just as he gathered himself to stop her activity, a warm yet restraining hand placed on the center of his chest prevented a follow through.

"Calleigh, please."

"Can't you just let me take care of you?"

"Teach me how." The words breathed themselves out before they could catch in his throat.

And the secret smile that crept over her face left him breathless while erasing why such an admission was wrong. He followed, captivated, when she turned toward the sink with the adoring smile still there. Standing to her side, he memorized her profile and wondered at her thoughts.

He registered the skin of her face was drawn tight; he guessed stress. Knowing he had come solely for the alluring attention she bestowed upon him, the thought she too may have needed him this evening was completely new. It stunned him. Being who he was, giving was easier than accepting, he could not escape his nature.

So drawing a caress down her arm, he broached the conversation she had neglected to recount to him. "I heard what you said earlier. To Hagen."

The response was a fascinating mixture of cautious recklessness; he felt drawn to it, compelled to kiss away the pain he saw. "Horatio, I'm sorry. Can I ask who told you?"

He let his hand leave her arm and land carefully on her hip to persuade her closer to him. Brushing hair away so he could view her face unhindered, he waited until she braced herself for his answer.

"I was there."

He was too slow to stop her retreat. Immediately, he missed the stimulus of her presence. So he stalked her as she avoided his soul-telling eyes. Finally she paused to glare at him and he saw the uncertainty. Of all things, that; he knew he was capable of overcoming it.

Calleigh did not know what to think, what to do. She was only human and human nature told her to avoid the situation. Paying heed, she removed herself from his vicinity and put the remaining leftovers into the refrigerator. Superficial busy motions, she knew they were, but she was too unsure on how to proceed with the conversation. Horatio, on the other hand, felt no such qualms.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should come here. Wasn't sure if you wanted me."

Not brave enough to face him, her words were directed to the open refrigerator. "You're welcome anytime; its not like you're my boyfriend."

Confused as she was, the words were drenched in honesty and if he heard the wistfulness at the end, she knew there was no going back. She would know soon enough.

"What if I want to be?"

Both words he spoke and the proximity of his voice rocked her numb. Stunned with the force of the verbal bullet, Calleigh managed to shut the refrigerator door before collapsing against it. When she eventually turned, she discovered Horatio's eyes mere inches from hers. Caring as always, his stance was ready to support her if she fell. Ironic that she had already fallen - in love with - for him.

Thoughts cleared and Calleigh found courage in their usual flirtatious banter. "You sure know how to sweep a girl off her feet, Handsome."

His tender smile was apologetically rueful while his eyes mirrored his soul under her tenure. It was a shattered gem of need, desire.

"Calleigh, on your words, I made my peace with Yelena tonight, so now I'm going to be completely honest with you." He decimated the last barrier between them by leaning into her sagged frame. "I want you. I want you in my bed, under me, utterly satisfied and brimming with pleasure, happiness. But even more than that, I want to fully experience your every smile and every blush of perfect skin whenever I please you."

Mind reeling, she choked back a sigh as she allowed herself to melt against his body; her action wordlessly accepting all that he offered and promised. His arms refused to relinquish their precious charge when she roused to look full into his eyes. She saw absolute devotion, and the way love lurked nearby brought laughter into her.

"Horatio, you're every woman's dream man, did you know?"

Then she saw intent and shivered. Her world disappeared right after his whispered wish, "I'd rather be only yours." When he kissed her, he conceded the last of his earthy possessions to her care - his body.

She lost count very early on the number of times they drew apart for air. Time was unnecessary since she measured its passage by the count of his heartbeat, enjoying its pace and the heat it threw off to her. His body, hard and throbbing, secured its hold over hers and she had never before felt so protected and powerful. Anything she wanted - another kiss, his hands on her, his body pressed closer to her, his groan as she pushed him past another level of control - he had no presence of mind to refuse.

With her wrapped around his body, he stumbled into her bedroom. He gave whatever she asked but managed to strangle-hold himself into some semblance of restraint as he beheld the second most stunning sight in his life. She lay beneath him, sprawled upon her bed and hair askew. Total trust gazed back at him and he was brought to tears with her simple admission of love.

Heart bursting, he confided his greatest fear. "I've never been afraid to love you, Calleigh. I'm afraid of hurting you."

She reached out to stroke his face and ease the fear from it. "What can I say to help you understand? You could never hurt me. Just promise to love me and I promise you'll never hurt me."

He let the words sink into his fragmented mind and felt huge amounts of relief lift tension from his shoulders. Then grasping her hand and watching her intently, he whispered his promise as he turned her hand over to begin a thorough seduction of her inner wrist. He made good on his promise far into the night, where he imprinted the image of the single most beautiful, awe-inspiring vision into his memory many times over.

FIN