I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb
I try to hold this under control
They can't help me 'cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone (and I bleed)
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath the weight of the world
I try to hold this under control
They can't help me 'cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm running, shaking
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes.
3 Doors Down- "Changes"
"How the hell could you have let this happen?"
Ken yelled at Guile. He knew it wasn't Guile's fault what happened, but he was so frustrated he had to take it out on somebody. The two were in a small, private waiting room in the hospital.
"Ken, I couldn't stop him. I already have a lot of shit on my mind right now. I don't need to worry about answering to you."
"Yeah why don't you answer to Cammy who is lying unconscious in the hospital bed?"
"Shut the fuck up! She's okay now and that's all that matters. The General shot her in the leg and she was knocked unconscious. That's it. She will recover."
"If she wakes up."
"She will God dammit. And don't you think otherwise."
Guile paused.
"You didn't see what she was acting like. It wasn't what you explained before. She was so, so…I can't even describe it. But it wasn't her at all. I know that for damn sure."
Guile sat down and put his head in his hands. He had been going over and over in his mind constantly what could have happened to her. Vaginal tearing. She wouldn't even remember it. Someone raped her and she doesn't even know it. I won't tell her. That would kill her. That's what Charlie would do. Right? Guile had been in such deep thought that he didn't notice Ken looking through Cammy's medical file. He only realized what had happened when Ken threw the file on the ground screaming.
"The fucking bastard! I know it was Vega! You should have seen the way he looked at her, touched her. I thought he was just trying to get to me. But if he really… I'll kill him. I'm going to find him and fucking kill him. Poor Cammy."
Ken fell onto his hands and knees, head lowered to the ground so Guile couldn't see his face. But Guile knew he was right in guessing Ken was crying. He would have cried when he first heard if the General hadn't come in. Guile sat on the floor next to Ken.
"Ken. She won't remember. It would hurt her so bad to tell her. She would relive whatever happened all over again. It would kill her."
"So you're saying…"
"Don't say a word. Never tell her."
She opened her eyes and tried to sit up, but she couldn't move. Her arms were strapped down. This is familiar. What could it mean? Her mind flashed and she saw a blonde man struggling against leather cuffs, blood ran from his wrists where the leather cut into his skin. His face was foggy. She felt tears running down her face. The door to the room opened and a tall blonde man entered. It wasn't the same man she just remembered. He smiled at her before speaking.
"Cammy?"
Cammy? Who's that? Wait? My name is Cammy, after Mum. That's right. She spoke slowly, trying to make sure to say the right thing.
"I'm Cammy?"
"Yeah. That's your name. Do you know mine?"
"No. I can't remember. What am I doing here? Why am I strapped down?"
She pushed against the restraints once more and her mind flashed back again. This time she was the one struggling in her mind. She was overcome with feelings of fear and helplessness. She was brought back to reality by her own screaming. Now there was another man, a doctor she presumed, in the room. He spoke to the blonde man.
"She's got amnesia. Must have been the blow to the head, but it is better than what we had before. She is experiencing flashbacks now, they will occur frequently as her memories come back. Some will be happy, but sadly in her case, most won't be."
"What can I do to help?"
"Just make sure she remembers who you are as soon as possible so she knows who you are and why you are supporting her."
"I'm right here. Don't talk like I'm not here. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?"
The doctor came towards her and she started screaming. She was suddenly scared of him.
"It won't work. It didn't work on my father and it won't work on me!"
What does that mean? She didn't even understand what she had just said with her own mouth. The doctor stopped then and Cammy was relieved. The blonde man put his hand on her shoulder. It felt good, comforting, and most of all safe.
"I'm Guile. Does that sound familiar?"
Cammy reached into her mind and tried to remember this man. She looked at him, studying his features and she saw a picture of him, though he was younger in the photo, with another blonde man. The one she saw earlier, she knew it.
"Who's the other man?"
"What other man Cammy?"
"The one in the photo with you."
"There is no picture."
"In my head. You are graduation robe."
Guile remembered the photo he had taken with Charlie on their high school graduation.
"That's your father Cammy. Charlie Nash."
"Where is he now?"
There was a short silence. Cammy spoke again.
"And my Mum, I remember her too. Auburn hair right?"
Guile looked to the doctor, silently asking if he should tell her. The doctor knew that Cammy's parents were dead because Guile had to sign any treatment papers. He shook his head no, signaling that she had to remember that on his own.
"Yes, she has auburn hair."
"I thought so. So where are they?"
"You have to remember that on your own Cammy."
Before she could protest another man entered the room. He had shoulder length strawberry blonde hair that was falling into his brown eyes. Cammy remembered seeing those eyes before. She remembered trusting them for the first time. Him holding her while she cried. Why was I crying? His name came to her mind.
"Ken?"
He looked surprised but nodded his head, smiling.
"Hi."
He looked at Guile questioningly before he spoke.
"Why is she strapped down?"
"It was just for safety. We can take them off now."
Both men moved towards her to remove the straps. After they were finished she sat up felt pain shoot through her leg.
"What happened to me?"
The doctor spoke.
"You were shot in the leg Cammy. You just will need to stay off it a few days and everything will be alright."
"I was what?"
Ken and Guile sat on either side of her and Ken spoke.
"Don't worry right now. Just try and remember who you are and we'll worry about the rest."
Guile stood and looked at the doctor.
"Can we take her home I'm sure her memories will come back better there."
"I'll get the papers."
Ken scooped her in his arms and it felt familiar and good. She laid her head on his shoulder and smiled at Guile before falling asleep.