His bruised and battered flesh stung as each drop of sweat trickled down
his chest. But even this sharp constant ache was not enough to rouse him
form his thoughts. He ignored the pain; shut it out of his mind, like it
meant nothing at all.
Because to him it didn't. The pain in his heart was of much more importance, as he lay on the cold hard ground. The three and a half hours he had just spent pummeling unbruiseable holographic flesh, faded from his exhausted mind.
Instead he thought about all the times he had seen HER fight those very same holograms without receiving a single mark.
And with that thought, his earlier anger overwhelmed him once more.
Anger at her, for letting her guard down.
Anger at the others for not seeing the danger.
Anger at the GSA for setting them up.
But most of all, he felt anger at himself, for letting her die.
That day, he had intended to meet a member of the underground, his girlfriend for lunch. He still remembered the annoyance he had felt, when Adam asked him to go with them to meet a new mutant. The annoyance that Shalimar had obviously sensed, judging from the sympathetic looks she had sent his way.
He remembered brushing her off with unkind words and sarcasm.
He regretted that keenly now. Those were the last words they spoke to each other. The last thing he said to her, as cruel and unkind. Maybe if he had been paying her more attention, instead of thinking of what he was missing out on, she would still be here.
God he missed her.
He regretted so much about that day. Ignoring her, brushing her off. Not protecting her when she needed them, letting her die. But most of all, he regretted not being able to say goodbye or tell her he loved her.
It was over so quickly. Mere moments, seconds really. But that was all it took.
Seconds.
Seconds to see her fall. Seconds to rush to her side, seconds to realize what was wrong and seconds for her to slip away.
But it would take more than seconds to understand she was gone, to mourn her loss. He would grieve for her for the rest of his life. They all would. When it came time for him to leave this earth, he knew, that his last thoughts would be of her.
He wished he were a religious man, wished he believed in life after death or heaven. He wasn't sure. But if there was the slightest chance that heaven was real he knew, that Shalimar would be their, waiting for him. Waiting for them.
This was the only comfort he could draw form this tragedy, that maybe she was in a better place.
He hoped so.
They would never stop mourning her, never stop missing her, and never stop wishing she were with them.
He knew that eventually he would forgive himself.
But he would never forget.
Because to him it didn't. The pain in his heart was of much more importance, as he lay on the cold hard ground. The three and a half hours he had just spent pummeling unbruiseable holographic flesh, faded from his exhausted mind.
Instead he thought about all the times he had seen HER fight those very same holograms without receiving a single mark.
And with that thought, his earlier anger overwhelmed him once more.
Anger at her, for letting her guard down.
Anger at the others for not seeing the danger.
Anger at the GSA for setting them up.
But most of all, he felt anger at himself, for letting her die.
That day, he had intended to meet a member of the underground, his girlfriend for lunch. He still remembered the annoyance he had felt, when Adam asked him to go with them to meet a new mutant. The annoyance that Shalimar had obviously sensed, judging from the sympathetic looks she had sent his way.
He remembered brushing her off with unkind words and sarcasm.
He regretted that keenly now. Those were the last words they spoke to each other. The last thing he said to her, as cruel and unkind. Maybe if he had been paying her more attention, instead of thinking of what he was missing out on, she would still be here.
God he missed her.
He regretted so much about that day. Ignoring her, brushing her off. Not protecting her when she needed them, letting her die. But most of all, he regretted not being able to say goodbye or tell her he loved her.
It was over so quickly. Mere moments, seconds really. But that was all it took.
Seconds.
Seconds to see her fall. Seconds to rush to her side, seconds to realize what was wrong and seconds for her to slip away.
But it would take more than seconds to understand she was gone, to mourn her loss. He would grieve for her for the rest of his life. They all would. When it came time for him to leave this earth, he knew, that his last thoughts would be of her.
He wished he were a religious man, wished he believed in life after death or heaven. He wasn't sure. But if there was the slightest chance that heaven was real he knew, that Shalimar would be their, waiting for him. Waiting for them.
This was the only comfort he could draw form this tragedy, that maybe she was in a better place.
He hoped so.
They would never stop mourning her, never stop missing her, and never stop wishing she were with them.
He knew that eventually he would forgive himself.
But he would never forget.