Disclaimer: I don't own it. Thank you.
Kenshin stood with his hands on Kaoru's hand and his heart in his throat. She was looking at him with such anger in her eyes. He hadn't meant to hurt her, only to get her to open up to him a bit. And she had, though what she'd said about the wanderer and the killer had not given him much hope.
But she'd thought she was speaking to the Battousai. He should have told her that she wasn't, but he'd been too afraid that she wouldn't open up to him. Now, he was left dealing with the emotional aftermath of what he'd done.
She was quivering with rage. How do I fix this...? Well, there was a chance she would accept his sincerest apologies, wasn't there? He fell to his knees, his face to the floor but his hands not leaving hers.
"'Twould seem there is much for me to apologize for, Kaoru-dono. This lowly man is very, very sorry for deceiving you. 'Twas the wrong thing to do, and this lowly one begs your forgiveness."
Kaoru snatched her hand away, but Kenshin didn't dare to look up at her. He would be able to sense it if she moved away, after all. She wasn't moving, and that was the best he could hope for right now.
In actual fact, of course, Kaoru was moving. She was shifting her weight from foot to foot. She was looking around the yard, probably trying to spy a bokken she could use with her left hand. That at least she was unlikely to find, as Kenshin had spent a large part of her absence cleaning. It had calmed him down. The clean yard was unlikely to bring her to a state of peace.
There was a rush of air, a crumpling of fabric, and Kenshin looked up to see Kaoru crumpled into a ball, sobbing. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" She threw her answer and her arm at him in the manner of a small child: bluster and tears, but no true substance or weight behind any of it.
In fact, Kenshin recognized it as the response of the child that really didn't mean what they said. The only problem was that Kaoru was an adult. Pulling her into a comforting hug might not really be what she wanted. Worse, she might decide to take it as some sort of sexual advance. I can't hurt her again today.
Kenshin watched her in indecision while she sobbed.
He was saved from the choice as Sanosuke threw open the gates. Kaoru looked up, the tears still on her face. "I... uh... thought someone was hurt. I was just walking by and all. I guess I should get going-"
"Wait!" Kaoru dried the tears off with the edge of her sleeve, then rose to her feet quickly and ran to take Sanosuke's hand. "Let's go to the Akabeko. I want to get out of here for a while."
"Sure. Long as you're paying, eh, Kenshin?" Kenshin smiled. Sanosuke knew exactly how to diffuse a situation, especially when he wasn't trying.
"I'm paying. Kenshin already started making dinner here, so I'm sure he doesn't want to come." Kenshin looked at Kaoru in confusion. Had he not made it clear to her that he was not about to let her go anywhere by herself? It wasn't precisely by herself with Sano, nagged a small part of his mind. Still, he was going back on his decision to keep her indoors, the least she could do was to not try to exclude him.
"Kaoru-dono, this lowly one will come with you."
Kaoru sighed over-dramatically. "Fine, fine. You can come if you want." She shook her head. "But I don't see why I have to pay for you both. Isn't it enough to take one guy out at a time?"
"Maybe I shouldn't go, eh, missy? I mean, I'm sure you'd rather spend your time with Kenshin than me." Kaoru shook her head and took one of his hands.
"Right now, I want to be with you," she said brightly. "I suppose Yahiko will be working now, won't he? I'll get to see someone who really missed me! That will be nice, don't you think?"
Kenshin shook his head and took her other hand. It was quite clear she would have pulled it away, except that this was her broken one. It would have hurt her to pull it away, so she tolerated his deliberately delicate hold on her.
"Everyone missed you, Kaoru-dono. Let us go." He smiled and led Kaoru and Sanosuke out of the house, pausing to close the gate.
They walked slowly enough. Everyone around seemed to be staring at Kaoru. Kenshin sighed inwardly. He couldn't simply give all of them a warning glance. It was natural that they'd be curious about her new appearance. People around Tokyo were used to seeing her as the invulnerable kenjutsu instructor.
They'd probably start talking about her now. More than before, that is. They'd say whatever had happened was her own fault for living with that wanderer who seemed to get into so many fights. Or they might say that these were the sort of hurts that happened to women who went around with swords instead of tending to a proper woman's goals.
The way that many of the leaders of the Meiji era saw it, a woman should be a man's friend. To most of these regular folk, she should be good at cooking and cleaning. A woman should be like Kaoru though: a partner for one's life.
They'd stolen her away from Kenshin. Stolen his Kaoru, and he'd taken back this new girl with Kaoru's face but none of his Kaoru's spirit. No, that isn't true. This is Kaoru. She's just hurt. Very badly. I mustn't feel angry with her. I must support her however I can.
No matter what she's doing. He frowned as he glanced over at Kaoru. Leaning on Sanosuke. Pulling her kimono up just a little too high off of the ground. Was she trying to make him jealous?
It didn't matter much. Kenshin knew he could trust Sano to not respond to anything from Kaoru. Just as Sano knew that if he did, Kenshin would hit the younger man so hard he wouldn't wake up for a week.
"Kenshin!" He looked over at Kaoru.
"Oro?"
"Geez, you aren't listening at all. I don't know why I bother saying anything at all to you!"
"Hey, c'mon, missy. He hangs off your every word most of the time. A couple minutes ain't gonna hurt you."
She glared at Sanosuke for a few seconds, then turned back to Kenshin. "As I was saying... Do you think it's too much to have three deserts?"
He smiled. "Ah... Kaoru-dono, it is a bit much." She frowned angrily. "But I'm sure that Kaoru-dono will be all right with three," Kenshin added quickly. He totaled up the money he should have in his wallet. It would be enough, as long as she didn't order anything exorbitantly expensive.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, which was just as well for Kenshin. He needed to spend the time musing over what to do about Kaoru if he needed to fight another set of battles.
He couldn't leave her like this. She would be easy prey for anyone who wanted to harm her. All the same, he couldn't give in to an attack on hostages. It would only leave people with the impression that he was easily controlled through his family. Neither option would do.
Kenshin could not stay, but mayhaps someone else could?
Sanosuke wouldn't agree to stay with her. Or rather, the younger man might agree, but his mind wouldn't be on protecting Kaoru but on battles for which he couldn't change the outcomes.
Yahiko might agree as well, and Kenshin knew the boy's mind would be on protecting Kaoru. He had already proved that he could hold his own in the fight against the Ten Swords. Unfortunately, Kaoru had done just as well in that fight, and had managed to be hurt in this latest attack.
Leaving her with one of them would not work well. There was another option though. Saitou.
Saitou had a wife. He somehow kept her safe while he was away doing his duty around Japan. If his secret was simply to remain unknown... No, that wouldn't have worked against Shishio. He must have had some other technique for protecting his family. If Kenshin could convince Saitou to bring Kaoru into the same protection as his own family was under, Kenshin could fight whatever battles he needed to fight without worrying about her.
It might work out, if I can trust Saitou with her. Can I do that? A better question: even if he could, would Kaoru agree? Probably not.
By the time they arrived at the Akabeko, Kenshin had resolved to ask Kaoru what she would want to do if he had to fight again. It might be best to wait until after dinner though. He had no wish to fight with her in public, and he could easily see her fighting him on any decision, even if the two of them were making it together.
------
"Tae!" Kaoru let go of Sanosuke's hand to wave at the owner of the Akabeko happily. Kenshin's hand stayed firmly attached to her own, so she wasn't able to run the last few steps to the restaurant.
Still, she was happier than she'd been in a while, at least on the surface. On the inside, she was still very angry at Kenshin's deception, but she wasn't going to show that to anyone.
She'd decided she wasn't going to burden anyone else with the knowledge of what had happened. Sanosuke knew, and Megumi, and Kenshin perforce, but certainly no one else needed to know.
Anyhow, Tae was a bit of a gossip. If Kaoru told her, the news would be around town in an instant. Then Megumi really would be right when she said Kaoru would never find anyone to marry.
"Kaoru! Oh, what happened to your hair? And your arm? You look awful!"
Kaoru smiled. "Well, I had a bit of an accident while I was practicing my kendou. I'll feel better soon. My hair though... well, I cut it! Maybe I cut too much. What do you think?"
"You cut so much, Kaoru..," Tae looked around a little nervously. "You know, this place is law abiding, Kaoru, and... Well, I suppose it doesn't matter, they'd forgive you, I'm sure. They forgive Kenshin his sword, after all."
"Tae! You worry too much. Anyways, the three of us are here for dinner."
Tae smiled. "Of course you are. Come on, now, follow me."
The group followed and Tae seated them at the normal table. Kaoru leaned towards Sanosuke and watched Kenshin suppress a frown. I'll show him. If he can trick me by pretending to be something he's not, I'll show him pretense.
"So, Sanosuke," she said with an uncertain smile. "How have you been?"
"Ah, you know, missy. Just been hanging around my place."
"Gambling and drinking, you mean."
"Eh... yeah. I guess."
"Did you win any money?"
"Nah. My luck's been bad lately. Could be worse, though, I could have Kenshin's luck, eh buddy? You've got all that skill, but none of it translates to useful things, like gambling."
Kenshin smiled. "Sano, you know I don't like gambling."
"Well I do. Why don't you take me gambling with you, Sanosuke? I bet I'd be much better at it than Kenshin. I'm always lucky at games of chance!" Kaoru smiled and moved closer to Sanosuke.
"Yeah. Well. I dunno that you'd fit in with us, missy."
"Eh? What do you mean, I wouldn't fit in? I can fit in anywhere, Sanosuke!"
"Come on, missy! You can't even handle a bit of sake, you could never handle being with us guys."
"Nor should you want to, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin looked slightly concerned. "'Tisn't necessary to supplement your earnings with Sanosuke's gambling. This lowly one knows that we will be able to get by."
Slight concern wasn't what she was after. Kaoru ignored Kenshin. "I can too handle sake!" Sanosuke laughed, while Kenshin shook his head and smiled. She narrowed her eyes. I'll show them I can drink sake, just as much as either of them could.
Yahiko had come to give them their food. "Yahiko!"
"Kaoru! Are you okay? Can we start practicing again tomorrow? Can I come back to-"
"Yahiko," interrupted Kenshin. "Kaoru-dono is not ready to start practicing yet." He motioned towards her arm. "You'll have to work on your own for now."
"Aww."
Kaoru smiled. "Don't worry, I can still teach you even if I'm not up to hitting you with a bokken. Just take it as a small reprieve. Now, in the meantime, we need some sake."
"No we don't," said Kenshin quickly. Sanosuke looked away. Not comfortable with his hosts arguing, I'd guess.
"Yes, we do, Kenshin. So, Yahiko, you bring us some sake, and the shabushabu, and also I want mochi and sponge cake and coffee later. Okay?"
"If you eat all that, you'll get so fat, ugly!" Kenshin gave Yahiko a warning glance, but Kaoru just narrowed her eyes and stood up, pulling at Yahiko's gi.
"You know, I'm going to remember that for the next time we can train together..." Yahiko smirked, so Kaoru gave him a really sweet smile. "Or I could just take Tsubame out to talk to her about the time..."
"You better not, ugly!" Kaoru let go of him.
"Then you'd better not forget any part of my order, Yahiko-chan!" Yahiko ran off to get the order, while Kaoru sat back down and smiled in satisfaction.
Kenshin smiled at her, obviously pleased. "You seem very well to be out. This lowly one is sorry he didn't offer to bring you here before. 'Tis a refreshing change to see Kaoru-dono's smile."
Kaoru scowled at him. He was not supposed to be smiling. When Yahiko brought the sake, she grabbed it and guzzled it down.
The meal itself was a lot of fun. She kept moving herself closer to Sanosuke. She'd 'mistakenly' touched his hand several times as they were cooking the beef. Kenshin had frowned each time. It only encouraged her, and she let her sleeves drag against Sanosuke's arms.
By the time Yahiko brought the mochi over, Kaoru was having a great time, doing or saying something slightly suggestive and watching as Kenshin got more annoyed.
They left after the mochi. Kaoru couldn't quite remember having had the sponge cake or the coffee, but Sanosuke had assured her she'd had them. She leaned a bit on him as the three of them walked home.
When they got back to the dojo, Sanosuke tried to leave, so Kaoru tripped, falling onto him. "Sanosuke, you can't leave! I need you..."
"Hey, missy, come on..."
She kissed him square on the lips. "I need you to stay, Sanosuke."
"Told ya you couldn't hold alcohol, missy, but you didn't want to believe me." He laughed. Kenshin pulled Kaoru off of Sanosuke. He was certainly not laughing.
"Kaoru-dono, 'tis very late. This lowly one thinks 'tis time for Sano to go home, and for you to sleep."
"I'll sleep with Sanosuke! You go sleep somewhere else." Kenshin raised his eyebrow, while Sanosuke laughed. They just think I'm drunk. "I'm not drunk, you know."
"No? Then you're acting like-" Kenshin cut himself off. "Kaoru-dono, let's go to bed now."
"You think you're sleeping with me? No way, Kenshin! Sanosuke, help me! He wouldn't leave my room yesterday, and I'm scared of him!"
"Good bye, Sanosuke. I'll see you later."
"Yeah. Bye." Sanosuke turned and started walking away. "Hey, Kenshin," he called over his shoulder, "Be careful of her. Her temper's even worse when she's drunk."
Kenshin said nothing, but pulled Kaoru into a position where it would be difficult for her to get away. He moved them inside and closed and locked the gate. "Let go of me," said Kaoru irritably.
"Not yet."
He held her tightly and brought her into her room, placing her in the middle of her futon. Kenshin stared at her, unmoving, his mouth set in a contemplative frown.
What is he looking for? Kaoru scowled. If he's got something to say, he'd better just say it. Otherwise, I should throw him out of my room.
"Kaoru-dono, what do you want this lowly one to do?"
"I want you to leave." Stupid man.
He stared at her. "I don't think you do, in the long term."
"I just meant leaving my room."
He nodded slowly. "Would you like to marry me?"
"You think I can't get anyone else. Well, Sanosuke was pretty interested, and if you didn't keep frowning at it, he might have-"
"I know that Sano was not interested when you started pushing yourself on him. I also know that many men would have been. I do not wish for you to be pushing yourself on other men."
"What a romantic proposal." She crossed her arms.
"You said earlier that you thought I was perfect. That I feel no emotions and that the killer is the one who feels. This is incorrect. An assassin cannot have feelings." He shook his head. "Kaoru-dono, I love you. I am angry about what happened. You made me jealous of Sanosuke. If that is what you wanted, you succeeded."
"What I wanted?" She shrugged. "I don't know what I want right now." She closed her mouth and looked away. Where did that come from? I know exactly what I want. I want him to go away and leave me alone.
"I understand." Kenshin took Kaoru's hand. "Do you want me to stay outside?"
"Yes." Kenshin stood and slid the door open. "No!" He turned back. "Don't go." Her voice sounded young, even to her.
He closed the door and knelt down near her, turning to look at the wall. "You should change, Kaoru-dono. I will remain here while you sleep."
She hugged him. "Thank you, Kenshin."
Kenshin nodded and kissed her hand.
Author's notes
SOOOOO sorry it took so long for me to write this chapter. I had a whole bunch of assignments to do. I've tried to compensate by writing something longer.
Lebleuphenix - thanks... yeah, I doubt it's so easy to let things get resolved... Lucky Kenshin was saved by Sano showing up...
Kard of Dark - yes, it was him all along...
Jin Ð hm... well, I'd have gone longer, but... as I said, this is already overdue! :)
Small Lady Ð Yep, that's my take on it... badness...
Ann Ð okay! Short chapter here... As for whether Kaoru will forgive Kenshin... YEP! :)
Cdkobasiuk Ð thanks for the reviews!
Kathy Ð I'm glad you think the characterization is right. I figured, Kaoru's not the kind to be a crying girl about things, but you can't go through something like that and not be changed... thanks for coming out of lurkerdom!
Venus Smurf - Woooooowwwwww! You reviewed everything! Even the Reboot one... Thanks for that, and I liked hearing your views as the story has progressed... Don't worry, I'm not too hurt at the number of responses... this chapter just took a lot longer to write... :) I'd review some of yours, but I really can't read the Sailor Moon stuff anymore... I wrote one in that fandom once, though I forgot the password to the account... Do an RK, so I can review you! :)