Hey-o, and welcome to my Lil' World of Weirdness!!
I state for the record that I don't own Gundam Wing, or the wonderful characters that will be gracing this story. . . I do however lay claim to Ensign Saratone *again*, and I use him here purely as a replacement for your average Nameless OZ Minion. Hm, warnings . . . let's see . . . some potty mouth, naughty thoughts, more potty mouth, and erm . . . oh, yeah, love, love, love between boys, boys, boys!! Got a problem with that? Then go read something else, I am not forcing you to sit there and read, but that doesn't mean you can't try it . . . it's like eating ready salted Pringles with Nutella chocklate spread, ya just don't know how much you'll love it, unless you try!!
Oh, and timeline . . . uh, yeah, WHAT timeline?! Both the Eypon nd Tallgeese is still in service, and Zechs flies both of them regually . . . okay? I know, I know . . . it doesn't follow cannon . . . but when the HELL have any of my stories ever followed cannon?!
Okay, that's the legal stuff out the way!!
//Thinking//
"Speaking"
*Stress/Emphasis*
~*~
**Gundammit!!**
By Doctor Megalomania
Chapter 10: Did We Forget To Mention?
Almost glazed over eyes slid shut as Heero flopped back on to his bed, and put his arm over his forehead, between escaping Relena, and trying to find Gundams . . . he sighed, and glanced at the door as his expert hearing picked up the faint sounds of Hurricane Maxwell heading down the corridor. Sighing again, he felt the muscles in his back tense, as he prepared for a rambling night with the braided pilot, and heard the door open wide open.
"Rough day, huh?" Heero stiffened at the quiet murmur, he kept his eyes closed and remained in his 'I'm awake, but I'm gonna hide it from you' pose. There was a munch as Duo lifted another spoonful of his favourite cereal up to his mouth, and chewed thoughtfully. The braided pilot moved slowly and as quietly as he could around, indicating to Heero that Duo thought he was asleep. He almost, almost smiled at this show of compassion. Duo hummed snatches of a tune, and Heero felt the end of his bed dip as Duo sat on it. "I guess so . . ." Duo's voice was so soft, and gentle. Heero felt another smile try to weed its way to the top, as he felt himself relax. "Don't worry Heero . . . wing and the others will be fine . . ."
Heero sighed quietly, feeling sleep begin to draw him away. Duo's voice, surprisingly soft as it was, was lulling him. So deep in his growing slumber, he barely felt the touch of fingertips soft, yet battle roughened brush gently over his lips.
"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS . . . WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU AGAIN?!"
Quatre winced and quickly put down his tea, as Wufei's voice came echoing down the corridor. The Chinese pilot had been ranting and raving all day, even all night . . . even when he was showering . . . even when he was eating dinner . . . even when he was talking to Sally Po over the radio . . . *even* when he was *sleeping*, Damnit. Quatre clapped his hands over his eyes and shook his head. How did Wufei keep it up?!
He looked at the door as it slid open and Wufei and Trowa walked in, Wufei seemed calm, completely peaceful as he made himself a cup of coffee. He slid into the seat opposite from Quatre, and Trowa – with his cup of coffee – slid into the seat next to his. They glanced at each other, as Wufei calmly read the morning newspaper, clucking over various pieces of news. Only when ten minutes of this apparent tranquil, unruffled peace had past did they two other pilots deem it safe to sip at their scalding hot liquids.
Big mistake.
"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS . . . WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU AGAIN?!"
Quatre yelped quietly as he jerked and his tea spilt into his lap eagerly. A small sound of discomfort issued from Trowa, and the two looked at each other. Trowa was patting quickly at his tight jeans, and handed Quatre a small tea towel. They glanced over at Wufei, who had resumed his quiet reading, and gentle sipping of his coffee. He looked like nothing had happened.
Quatre winced as he trudged along the ship's corridor, "might as well get dressed for bed . . ." he muttered to himself, as they took the turn that would lead to their shared bedroom. Trowa was leading the way and held open the door. "Why bother . . . Wufei will just find another way of making us spill something on our laps anyway . . ."
"We could always go to bed naked." Quatre blushed, the words slipping out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. He looked up at Trowa as the taller pilot smirked, "that's an idea . . ." Trowa murmured, "I've always wondered what was under the pink shirt . . ."
"It's purple." Quatre corrected almost automatically, "it's a very subtle shade of purple . . . it's just in some lights it appears to be pink."
"Uh huh." Trowa deadpanned, "and Heero's hideous yellow sneakers are actually a tasteful green."
Quatre sniffed as he pealed off his wet clothes, he shot Trowa a look over his shoulder, "you're comparing my beautiful shirt to Heero's shoes?" He sniffed again, and turned away, once again speaking before he thought, "someone doesn't want to get laid tonight."
Within a blink of an eye, Quatre found himself pinned against the bed, with Trowa's hungry hands all over him, the taller pilot's lips firmly sealed over his own. Trowa's nimble hands tugged and pulled at the offensive clothing. Quatre chuckled and wrapped his arms around Trowa, thinking how wonderful his Gundam was for getting him into this luscious posit---
"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU AGAIN?!" The door slammed open and Wufei stood in the doorway, his fists clenched and his whole body shaken from unused rage. "INJUSTICE, ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!"
Trowa pulled away from Quatre, his usually sharp green eyes dulled with unspent lust, Quatre turned an interesting shade of pink—uh, purple. Wufei's eyes were shut as he yelled again. "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS . . . WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU AGAIN?!"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, WUFEI!!" Hollered Trowa, now distinctly put off, "I DON'T KNOW!!! NEITHER DO I MUCH CARE!!""
The next day . . .
Zero One . . .
The cursor blinked slowly, before Zero One continued. Request confirmation of status, Zero Two to Zero Five?
The response boxes blinked silently, as the four other Gundams ran routine checks over themselves. Zero Three was the first to reply, Zero Three, confirming status as intact and functional.
Zero Four . . . there was another pause, before the Gundam continued, Zero Four, confirming status as intact and functional.
Zero Five, reporting status as intact and functional.
Zero one waited . . . and waited for Zero Two's reply, Zero Two's cursor continued to blink, and Zero One was just about to request a confirmation report again, when Zero Two's reply typed up slowly.
Zero Two . . . intact and functional . . . where the hell are we?!
"Where the hell are they?!" Duo steamed at his own laptop, "I don't understand this at all?! How in the hell do you—"
Duo yelped quietly as Trowa slapped a hand over his mouth. Duo tilted his head back until he could see up Trowa's nostrils, as the strangely haired boy growled, "don't say it. Just don't say it." The green eyes narrowed as he glared down at Duo, "Wufei's been saying it none stop . . . even muttering it in his sleep . . . I do NOT want to hear it from you."
As Duo made a sound of compliance, a muffled 'okay, okay', Quatre leant over Heero's seat, and sighed, "any luck?"
"I would inform you immediately if I had any luck." Heero's fingers continued to fly across the 'board, before he paused and looked at Quatre, "I can't even be sure if they are still on the planet. . . let along where they could possibly have—"
"Everyone!!" Wufei burst into the room, closed followed by Howard, the older man switched on a nearby television, as Wufei growled, "We've located the Gundams!"
All eyes turned to the television screen as Lady Une was shown to make a speech, live from a hidden OZ base.
"We repeat . . . for the love of sanity, Gundam pilots if you are capable, and still in your right frame of mind please. . ." she trailed off and swallowed as the room she was standing in rattled powerfully and rhythmically. She looked tired, and annoyed, "we ask that the Gundam pilots come to the New Barley Base as soon as possible. We declare a temporary cease-fire, and wish only to work peacefully with the pilots to retrieve their Gundams from our . . ." she trailed off again as the room shook again. As the rumbling faded again, lady Une glanced out the window. Her features lit up briefly from an off-shot explosion, her expression turning to one of mild horror, "we are posting the coordinates at this and every other television and radio station we can get too. For the love of sanity Gundam! Another rattling started up as Lady Une started to get more agitated, this is cruel and unusual punishment!!"
Heero . . . was uncomfortable.
Well, it wasn't like he hadn't been trained by the best to endure the harshest of conditions, hell . . . The frozen wastelands of Antarctica were more comfortable than this! It wasn't the plushy chair he was objecting too . . . not the bright pink foot rest, nor the excellent rolling desk top that was attached to his plushy chair so he could easily work on his laptop. . . no, none of that . . . it was something else . . . something he couldn't quite put his finger on . . .
He looked around, trying to discern what was putting the perfect solider with such odds with his environment. It wasn't Wufei . . . the Chinese man was slowly cleaning his favourite katana, with a slightly glazed over glean to his black eyes. Heero raised a mildly concerned eyebrow as he noticed that Wufei was murmuring 'Nataku' an extraordinary amount of times. The perfect solider moved on, and glanced at Trowa and Quatre, they were sitting away from each other, that felt in a more subconscious level more intimate. They were trying hard not to let Relena see them together. The girl still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that four of the five Gundams appeared to be homosexual . . . even though several attempts had been made to explain to her that the five Gundams were in fact androgynous, and therefore were above such minor labels. He sighed, it wasn't that Relena didn't mean well . . . it was hard to forget that this was the girl that would eventually bring peace to the colonies, and to the earth, and all of man kind, it was just that . . . he blinked, Heero's equivalent of rubbing his eyes wearily, it was just that she seemed to have this rather nasty fixation on him.
Which brought him back to the thing he couldn't put his finger on.
Namely Relena.
Who was attached to his arm.
He raised an eyebrow, wondering briefly if she hadn't surgically attached herself to his arm.
A quiet snigger from in front of him brought his attention to the pilot. Hn.
Duo shook his head, "it's sweet the way you two are . . ." Heero glared at him, as he continued, "I mean you're so in love, you're gonna get married, and I'll be there . . . probably not at your side giving you tons of support, but propping up your buffet table. . ."
Heero frowned at him again, choosing not to reply at all, the braided wonder-chatter-box grinned manically, and sat back. He was expecting him to go on, but Duo closed his eyes instead and twined his fingers together, "I hope ol' buddy's okay . . ."
Treize fingered his teacup, as his handsome features were lit up but yet another explosion. "I never thought I'd ever say this . . ."
Noin pressed a hand against her mouth, moaning quietly, "that was my favourite mobile suit! Damn them!"
Zechs covered his eyes, "why did I have eyeholes cut into this stupid mask? I don't want to see this anymore!"
Lady Une covered her ears with her hands, and growled as another explosion rocked the base, "this has to be the most insulting attack the Gundams have ever launched against us!"
"Indeed . . . never even occurred to me that I'd ever want to say this . . . but . . ." Treize sighed, and continued, "I wish the Gundams would save us . . ."
He winced as Zero One leant over again and stared into the room again, "what do you want?!" Une blustered angrily as she threw open the window, "why are you here?! What do you want from us?!"
Zero One tilted it's head in a clear 'huh?' manner, before blowing it's incredibly loud horn.
Noin gasped as the Mask of Zechs splintered and exploded, Lady Une's glasses shattered and burst out of their frames, and Treize winced as he felt his cup crack loudly, and his tea stain his beloved white jodhpurs.
"They are always there when you don't want them . . ." Treize grumbled as he mopped up the spill again, "but when you do need them, are the Gundams ever here . . . ohhh noooooo!"
Heero was brought back to awareness – he had dozed off, and dreamt of that girl and her damned puppy again – by the bleeping of his laptop. He frowned at the minute version of Wing, as the miniature version of Deathscythe Glomped it. It was only too true, the two Gundams were in love. He sighed, and opened the new message.
Bushy dark eyebrows rose to the sky as the five, sheepish looking scientists appeared in yet another recorded message, entitled:
'Did we forget to mention?'
----------------------------
And Now It's Time to LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
DrM: Gomen for no update last week, or indeed last Friday . . . but I lost track of many tings, and an essay kinda demanded to be written . . .
Quatre: [waves] hello!
DrM: [jumps] phew, for a moment there I thought you were feckin' Grace . . . [pressed hand against heart] cut that out. . .
Quatre: [folds arms] I just wanted to pop in and ask you to stop using my Zero system while watching CSI. . . you're getting drool all over my joystick. . .
[Trowa and DrM's dirty minds look up at possible dirty pun]
DrM: [stuffing dirty mind back into its cage for later use in Gundammit!!] but CSI is just so damn good!! It's so wonderful, and I've gotta know what happens next!! And with Boomtown! So good!!
Quatre: [shakes head] you're obsessive, do you know that?
DrM: [Picks up hot chocolate and frowns] *I'm* obsessive . . . you're the one that goes loco every time---
Wufei: [suddenly popping out of nowhere] HOW IN THE HELL YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU . . . AGAIN?! [ignores DrM's yelps of pain, turns to readers] WHY IN THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU REVIEWED YET?! CAN YOU TELL ME HOW IN THE HELL YOU STEAL FIVE GUNDAM MOBILE SUITS WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOU . . . AGAIN?! [walks off again] INJUSTICE!! NO-BODY IS REVIEWING FAST ENOUGH!! REVIEW NOW, OR FEEL THE WRATH OF NATAKU!!
DrM: [jumps up and waves fist] FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, CHANG WUFEI, I DON'T KNOW!! NOR DO I MUCH CARE!! [rants] INJUSTICE!!! [glances at readers and pouts cutely] please make him stop . . . I want to finish my hot chocolate one day . . .[sighs] ah, well, mnaybe I can come up with some sort of Anti-Wufei-Injustice-O-dar . . . [walks off mumbling to self, before pausing to yell over shoulder] Please R&R!!!