Hey-o, and welcome to my Lil' World of Weirdness!!

I state for the record that I don't own Gundam Wing, or the wonderful characters that will be gracing this story. . . I do however lay claim to Ensign Saratone *again*, and I use him here purely as a replacement for your average Nameless OZ Minion. Hm, usual warnings . . . but it's not like anyone reads this bit up here anyway so . . .

Oh, and timeline . . . uh, yeah, WHAT timeline?! Both the Eypon and Tallgeese is still in service, and Zechs flies both of them regularly . . . okay? I know, I know . . . it doesn't follow cannon . . . but when the HELL have any of my stories ever followed cannon?!

Okay, that's the legal stuff out the way!!

//Thinking//

"Speaking"

*Stress/Emphasis*

~*~

**Gundammit!!**

By Doctor Megalomania

Chapter 11: Uh-oh . . .

"Well, we were sitting around, minding our own business and see . . . we got to remembering what went wrong with the Gundams . . . well see . . . it was kinda dark and. . . Well, as you know we were making some *more* improvements to your Gundams, and unfortunately we think we might have made yet another mistake . . ."

Doctor J grinned patronisingly from the screen. Heero felt his trigger finger twitch uncontrollably. If only he hadn't been trained with such self control . . . Regardless, The Scientists' recording continued. The five old men stared out from the screen, each looking like the back end of a federation mobile suit . . . that had been run through a Gundam attack twice and then stomped on by a few OZ Aries, and then in a final humiliation, some old blind man in stained long johns claiming to be Napoleon coming along and prodding it with the end of his walking stick . . . Yes. They looked *that* bad.

"Not that it's a mistake on our part, you understand but indeed a mistake of the theory of chaos as we all know it states that this mistake must be made for . . . well. . . that's something else . . . anyway . . . funnily, it was very dark, which is really weird because we only passed out at midday . . ." He paused and glanced at his cohorts, "You know we probably should stop combining drink and heavy machinery. . ."

H raised an eyebrow, "Why? That's taking strong medicines and operating heavy machinery."

"Point." J nodded, and pointed at his comrade in booze. "Anyway, getting back to the matter at . . ." he smirked and raised his artificial limb, "Claw. . ." he chuckled, "Oh, look I made a funny! Hee, hee!"

Heero's forehead pounded with a large vein that threatened to pop. Doctor J wiped a tissue against his eye daintily, before continuing. "So anyway, we kinda made a mistake with some disks, and in the dark, all your Gundams look the same. . ." he paused and leant forward, to whisper conspiratorially, "Which between you and me, means these old fogies simply took my design and were so unimaginative, that they couldn't come up with better designs . . ." he sighed and shook his head, "Anyway, there's one thing we know for sure . . . one of the Gundams have the right—"

G hissed frantically in J's ear.

"Oh, no . . . I'm wrong, none of the Gundams have the right personality," he wrinkled his nose, and glanced over at the other scientists, "Oh, isn't that a pain . . ." he looked back at the screen and smirked irritatingly, "Anyway . . . we had yet another, even better, more practical idea . . . what if, the Gundam had the personality of the pilot the Gundam's pilot got on best with, but vitally still retained the basic traits of the original pilot . . . for example, Duo and Quatre would compliment each other, and Heero and Trowa . . . And Wufei with . . . uh, well, Wufei really . . ." Doctor J smirked and glanced at Master O, "But then that's because no-one gets on with little ol' Wuffers, do they?"

"Kisama!!" Wufei growled and shook his fist at the recording.

"Ahhhh . . . Kisama yourself," Doctor J waved absently at the screen, "Anyway, since we uh, *misplaced* the Gundams soon after this, we don't actually know who got what, or to which extent the programmes go . . . they could be very efficient or incredibly irritating. Whatever, whatever, the main point is you need to track them down, and then . . ."

For the first time in his life, Duo actually found himself praying, Quatre was mumbling 'Allah save Sandrock', Trowa grasped at Quatre's hand for comfort, Heero glared at the screen so harshly, that Relena actually found herself a little intimidated, Howard covered his eyes and groaned, and Wufei . . .

"INJUSTICE!!" Growled the pilot, as they crowed around the small collection of seat in Relena's plane. He made a swiping motion with his hand, "I am not going to take the chance that my Gundam isn't the right one."

"Why not?" Duo interrupted, swinging his legs as he sat back in his seat, he blinked and looked at Wufei, "Who do you not want in your Gundam?"

"You!" Wufei growled, he raised his hands and pressed his fingertips against his temples as if he was having a vision. "I can just see it. . . my graceful and beloved Nataku . . ." He shivered and rolled his shoulders uneasily, "With the soul of Duo Maxwell. . ."

"They've stopped . . . my god, they've actually stopped!!"

A cry went up around the base. It was loud, and jubilant. The young men and women of the base threw their hands in the air as the Gundams' reign of terror ceased. Zechs even threw his arms around Noin and yelled happily, "They stopped, and just in time!!" He pointed out the window, at the frozen Heavyarms, which was stuck in a pose that suggested it was about to kick the Tallgeese. "Yay!"

Zechs crowed quietly, as Noin sighed happily. She clasped her hands, her eyes shining, "They stopped . . . it's almost like the war has ended!"

Lady Une sighed, and punched the communication panel, "Okay . . ." She barked at the hapless ensign on the other end, the sounds of happy cheering in the background, "Send someone out there and find out what the hell happened, what made them stop and how we can keep it that way."

Ensign Saratone snapped a quick salute happily, "Yes Ma'am!!"

She smiled benignly as he closed the communication, and glanced over at Treize who nodded to her. "Sir, any further orders?"

He shook his head, and glanced out, his view obscured by the dulled green eye of Wing Gundam. "Just one thing . . ." He turned and pointed over his shoulder, "Move them to a safer place . . . and get me my stunning view back . . ."

Une's eyes shone as she snapped a salute, "Yes, sir!!"

Duo ran across the tarmac, barely even waiting for the plane to come to a stop before he'd opened the door, and jumped out. "Buddy!!" He waved his arms up at Deathscythe, the massive Gundam standing formidably with his fellow, "Buddy?! Are you okay?!" Duo slowed to a stop as he approached the massive black foot. He frowned as he realise that the massive Gundam wasn't moving at all.

"What the . . ." he growled and spun as a car pulled up and Lady Une got out, "What the hell have you done to my buddy?!"

"Nothing at all . . ." Replied the lady smugly, "They just ran out of fuel . . ."

"Damnit!" Howard groaned and patted Duo on the shoulder, "That Doctor Jackass never fills up empty fuel tank . . . never in all my life have I ever known him to fulfil a common courtesy!"

Lady Une sighed, "We're only too glad . . . the damned machines have been running rampant all over our base. They do more damage without you!" She frowned, "Well. . . we don't have time to just stand here all day, come on! Come on!!"

"Anyway, getting back to the matter at . . ." The recording of Doctor J smirked and raised his artificial limb, "Claw. . ." The old doctor chuckled, "oh, look I made a funny! Hee, hee!"

"Turn it off," Treize put his hand over his face, "I don't need to hear anymore . . ."

The OZ officer leant forward and drew a deep breathe, he opened his eyes and looked around the desk, Lady Une was to his right, her arms folded, and her hair buns tighter than his pants, she glared at the Gundam pilots. To his left were Zechs, and Noin. Both looked at the footage, then at the Gundams as the mighty machines stood about five hundred metres away. Relena Peacecraft sighed, and glanced at Heero, placing a reassuring hand upon his. "Don't worry Heero; I'm sure we can figure it out together."

Heero glanced at the girl out of the corner of his eye before sliding his hand away from her.

He sighed quietly, as Duo spoke up, "So . . . what's the plan?"

"What do you mean?" Lady Une inquired, "What are we supposed to do?"

"Fix 'em."

The good lady rolled her eyes to the ceiling at the simple answer, and raised an accusing eyebrow to whomever she was entreating to. "Pray tell, *MAXWELL* . . . how are we supposed to . . ." She raised her fingers and wiggled them, " "fix 'em."?"

As Duo scratched his head trying to figure out what that rated on the sarcasm-o-meter, Une clapped her hand over her glasses, and muttered something that distinctly sounded like she was talking to her other personality. Duo shrugged, "I dunno . . ." He frowned and leant forward, "All I know is that . . ." He grinned sheepishly, "It's killing me, I wanna know who got which Gundam, and who my Deathscythe thinks like now . . ."

Quatre sighed, and admitted softly, "As do I . . ." The desert prince nodded with a little excitement, "It's almost like a game of chance."

"We let the scientists loose with our Gundams," Trowa glared out of his one eye. "It *is* a game of chance!"

Wufei scowled, "I'll destroy Nataku if he's . . ." He shivered again, "Maxwell . . ."

"There's only one way to find out . . ." Zechs stood and walked over to the window gracefully, "We're going to have to turn them on again."

"But they are hostile towards us!!" Lady Une protested loudly, "What are we going to do, refuel them and let them rampage the base again?!"

Heero stood, and moved to the window, his Gundam, Wing, stared impassively, and it occurred to him. . . what would be Wing 's new reaction to stimuli? Would Wing be violent? Calm? But more importantly . . . he squinted at the other four Gundams, would he have to self-destruct Wing if, by some cruel and manic twist of fate, Wing now had Duo's personality?

"I know what you are thinking." Duo's soft – well, actually, less than his usual bombasticly loud - voice startled him out of his thoughts. "About Wing getting me . . ." The American sighed, "I hope it's not too bad . . . but . . . the scientists did say that the personality would only be a little different, more like who we are but with a different take on life . . ."

"Hn."

Duo rolled his eyes as he watched Heero's face shutter off again, concealing the boy's thoughts behind a cool, perfect soldier's mask. "Well . . ." He looked around as his fellow pilots gathered nearby, each gazing at their Gundam worriedly in their own way, "There's no other way we can find out. . . but to turn one of them on."

In the control tower . . .

Activation code. . . the message blipped on the screen a few seconds, as Heero typed with lightning speed, there was another delay before a new message blipped onto the screen. Accepted.

It was several hours later, around about midday now. The Gundam had been refuelled but completely shut off, so only the pilots could reactivate them. Heero sat back and sighed, "Wing Gundam is active." He looked up at the gathered group, "But without a pilot I doubt it can . . ." He trailed off and glanced out the window. Wing seemed a step closer. Heero was motionless for a few moments, before stepping toward the window. He drew a breath and slid it open, leaning out to call, "Wing?"

Wing didn't move, just remained where it was.

Heero frowned as he turned away, Quatre moved forward, "Is it my imagination or is Wing getting closer?"

"I don't know." Heero groused, "I can't tell."

Everyone walked over to the window and stared out. If that was possible, Wing actually looked as if it was trying to look utterly blameless. It sparkled innocence. It radiated virtue. The shiny clean gundamium metal twinkled cheerfully in the morning breeze.

Everyone squinted.

"Hey . . ." Duo began, "Ya think if we turn around and look away it'll move again?"

Treize sighed, as Noin snickered, Zechs frowned and Lady Une growled, "This is not a game!"

Wufei muttered something about 'injustice', Trowa folded his arms, Quatre smiled slightly and nodded, and Relena put her hands on her hips, "Only one way to find out. On my mark, one . . . two . . . three!"

The entire group turned away. Feeling a little stupid, Heero snapped, "And?"

"Let's see, shall we?" Relena suggested, they turned and found . . . Wing's massive front interface, or face for sanity's sake pressed against the glass.

"ARRRGH!" Treize yelped, and pointed, "It's alive . . ." He paused before adding, "Again!!"

It had landed by the control building and knelt in front of the huge windows, its gel green eyes sparkled as it stared in blankly. It tilted its head and raised its sword arm. The pilots, the former OZ officers, Relena and Sally stared in utter confusion as the Gundam robot proceeded to open and close its hand at them. The Gundam tilted its head again and started to open and close its hand faster.

"What are you doing?" Quatre wondered out loud, "Why are you doing that?"

The Gundam continued to open and close it's hand until something clicked into place in Duo's mind, the long haired boy pranced over the table and ran over to the open window, waving madly back at the Gundam, "HI WING!!"

***BAAAAARRRRRRRRPPPPP***

Several windows cracked and shattered, and everyone had to hold their ears, as Wing blew his horn loudly. The Gundam looked at them expectantly, as they all recovered. Treize got shakily to his feet, and remarked calmly, "Zero One, this Wing as you call it . . . is . . . very . . ." His lip curled slightly, "Enthusiastic. . ."

"Oh yes . . ." Wufei nodded, before expelling a contented sigh, "Nataku lives to fight another day."

"What do you mean?" Noin asked, as she watched Duo and Wing wave recklessly at each other again.

The dark haired Chinese boy smirked, "I didn't get Duo . . . Heero did . . ."

Heero's face darkened as Duo leant out further, to wave with both arms at the Gundam. Wing pranced, yes, *pranced*, and began to wave back with both arms. The long haired pilot pulled himself back into the room, and turned excitedly, "Well, at least they're still kinda the same as they were!!"

Wing tilted its massive head, and glanced over at the computer consoles within. It was still for a few moments, appearing just to take in the flashy glowing lights, before it returned its attention on the people with in. Wing lifted its arm, and the buster rifle started to charge.

"Oh my god . . ." Une murmured, she stepped back, "The Suit can fire by itself . . ."

A bright gold light filled the room as Wing fired at some insignificant storage barn nearby, pulling everyone's attention to the window. Heero folded his arms, and glared at his Gundam, unimpressed by the random shot. Duo chuckled, and glanced at his friend, "I guess he's got an itchy trigger finger too!"

"Hn."

Duo chuckled even more, and glanced at the Gundam, wondering if he should activate his own.

It was then he noticed the Gundam's attention wasn't even on the people anymore, but tilted to the left slightly. He turned to follow what he assumed was its line of sight, and blinked as he took in the main computer screen. It was split now, five ways, with each Gundam's name, current status, and operational code box. While Wing's was filled out, the others started to race, as each combination was tried and rejected. "What the . . .?" He murmured as Wing's panel started to fizzle, and change. It was hacking into the system to activate the others. "Heeeyyy. . ." Duo tapped Heero's arm, "Will ya look at that? The buddy's tapping in to—"

The various distracted ensigns raced back to their panels as Lady Une snapped, "Stop it from getting to the others!!"

Wing's computer readings shot up as the Gundam started to work faster. "Six digits!" Cried Ensign Saratone, "It's got six digits of the Zero Two's activation code!"

Duo blinked as the code box counted up, from six confirmed digits, to seven, eight, nine!

"Ma'am!!" The hapless ensign yelped, "It's starting on the Zero Three!!"

Trowa folded his arms and nodded, "Interesting . . . it's all but got the last number, and now it's gaining pace on the others. . . but why divide it's attention when it would be quicker to focus on a single code at a time?"

"That's not the fastest way though . . ." Duo nodded, he pointed at Wing as the Gundam worked speedily, "He not only has to crack the codes, he's gotta keep them . . ." He motioned to the various OZ personnel, "From keeping him out."

"Sir!!" The surprised yelp drew the Gundam pilots' attention to the screen again; more readings added themselves to the readout as the Gundam murmured quietly, "Zero Two, Deathscythe active."

"Ma'am, the second Gundam's breaking into the fifth's codes!!"

Everyone stared on in shock as the two Gundams worked on waking up the others. "What are they going to do when they are all awake?" Wufei folded his arms and nodded to the fifth panel as Deathscythe locked on to five of the ten digit code. He had to admit, the Gundams were faster that the humans.

"Zero Three. . ." The screen blipped and flickered as Heavyarms came on line, "Heavyarms, active."

Trowa nodded as his Gundam started to work on the final Gundam's code. "Why can't they activate Sandrock?" Quatre asked worriedly, all attempts to begin the code search on the final Gundam were being blocked, not by OZ but by another code, perhaps by Sandrock himself. "There must be something about Sandrock which is preventing them from getting online. . ." Duo suggested as he watched the fifth Gundam come online.

The fifth panel blipped on. "Nataku, online and active!"

Wing's voice was quick, sharp and chirping, "Scanning area."

"Pilots not present." Stated Nataku quietly, "Scanning for pilots."

"Hailing Sandrock," Heavyarms was cool as they moved quickly, "Sandrock not responding."

"Scanning for potential threat." Deathscythe growled quietly, "Enemy Leos, Aries spotted. Enemy territory, repeat enemy territory."

"Repeating message to Sandrock." Heavyarms tapped out some rapid commands, and the code box on Sandrock started to roll. Treize nodded, as he watched the sheer efficiency of the robots, "Fascinating . . ." he murmured, he looked at the others, "Sandrock is the leader."

"That's not true," Quatre blinked, "We don't have leaders . . . but . . ." he frowned slightly as the second digit on his Gundam's code blinked and locked, "There are times when I . . ." Trowa touched his arm, and shook his head. It wasn't time to reveal all their operational status just yet.

"Base identity: new barley," Wing called out as it read the data quickly. "Enemy base, repeat enemy base."

"Pilots located, assumed captured."

The four Gundams paused in all activity, save for Heavyarms, he continued to break Sandrock's code, the four of them in complete silence until . . .

"Zero Four. Sandrock, operational status confirmed, online and active."

Instead of simple readings, a digital picture began to form . . . Quatre's Gundam looked around, the digital display utterly calm and collected as he read all the gathered information from the others. Trowa shuddered slightly inwardly, the Gundam version of Quatre was icy, his eyes completely devoid of the sparkling life of his best friend. He glanced at the others, and saw that they too were unnerved by their cold version of their Arabian friend. Even Heero looked mildly disturbed by it.

"Situation assessed." Sandrock nodded once. "Destroy base."

"WHAT?!" Relena shrieked as she leapt from her seat, "What do they mean?!"

"It basically means they're going to destroy this base!" Howard jumped up, and resisted the urge to hit her.

"It makes sense . . ." Heero muttered, he nodded, "their pilots have been captured, enemy forces surround them, they haven't got a choice . . ."

"Tell them otherwise!" Lady Une demanded, throwing her arm to point at the communication panel, "NOW!!"

The sound of a rifle charging drew their attentions.

Wing was aiming his buster rifle straight at them!!